The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 54, The Ultimate Zombie Thing, with David Bell!

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Seanbaby tasks Brockway and special guest David Bell with an impossible task: Make the ultimate zombie movie on the fly, in about an hour, and by committee. God damn. God damn it. God damn it all... t...hey succeeded!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say HOT DOG podcast word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on
Starting point is 00:00:22 You know the number 1-900 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG
Starting point is 00:00:38 Yeah 9000 Welcome to the dog zone 9000, the official weekly podcast For the 1-900 HOT DOG daily website I'm the internet's Sean Baby And I'm happy to introduce my co-host Bobby the Brain Brockway
Starting point is 00:00:54 I'm Robert Brockway, here's a Brockway fact I named a part of the moon And I bet you could guess which one If I allowed follow up questions Which I don't I'm just gonna say butthole It's not even a question, I know it's a butthole Dammit
Starting point is 00:01:10 We're joined by film expert and funny man From Gamefully Unemployed David Bell Hello, hi Hey, welcome It's fantastic to have you I know that you're in the middle of a Hardcore writing crunch
Starting point is 00:01:26 So thanks for taking time to Come talk about this stupid shit with us I do some word writing Spoken word writing Is what this is That's what we're gonna do Yeah, that's what we call it I've been writing all day
Starting point is 00:01:42 So I'm a little Out of it Which should be fun I didn't have you guys Prep anything It's God, how do I explain this? Zombies But zombies
Starting point is 00:01:58 So the three of us We've been appointed as Council of Zombie And we're in charge of making difficult High concept decisions for the genre We're basically gonna redesign the genre The best way by committee It always works great It always works great
Starting point is 00:02:14 I didn't invent the idea, of course Other famous examples of art by committee Are Mack and me Ready Player One, which was a human idea Designed by committee Both perfect films No notes on any of those films I think we all agreed that was great art
Starting point is 00:02:30 So we're gonna kill it today We're gonna kill it. You guys have been training your whole life for this Even though We all come here today mostly unprepared Entirely unprepared, sir Entirely, entirely Is there anything you'd like to plug at the top of the show here, David? Oh
Starting point is 00:02:46 We might just fucking cut out in the middle of Something's ainty Oh, right. That's your jam. You love doing that Um I guess I'll plug Gamefully Unemployed You already mentioned it That's Patreon.com Gamefully Unemployed
Starting point is 00:03:02 That's a podcast network myself and Tom Ryman do And that's it Now a 1900 Hot Dog columnist Of 1900 Hot Dog fame Yeah, 1900 Hot Dog fame Yeah, he's great He's always been on the show
Starting point is 00:03:18 We're great on the show We're all great We're all great Good job everybody Yeah, and now I know that I obviously make jokes About the dangers of designing by committee But this is, um, I want to tell a real story About a time I was involved
Starting point is 00:03:34 In something like that It's gonna be real short I promise it will not take 35 minutes Like most of my stories, but it was my first job out of college And I was in an ad agency And I was one half of the creative department So the company commissioned a thing They called Z-Thing
Starting point is 00:03:50 Which was a great name for it because it was just meant to be a thing Like a way to sneak ads through the back door Of shareable content This was early in this But as Z-Thing Z-Thing was what they called it It ended up being a software program That could move an animated gif across a small area
Starting point is 00:04:06 While it played a MIDI song I swear Christ, I'm not making it up The technology I was like, this is bad This is not great So we were tasked to make something viral In quotes And that was, um
Starting point is 00:04:22 Like what we had to work with Oh my god This was so important I miss those days when people were just like When a marketing guy would show up And say like, I have a great idea Something viral Yes, that was the idea
Starting point is 00:04:38 So we had an important creative meeting And again, that was just me and one other guy But we had to meet with everyone in the company So with tech and sales and all hands on deck You get it So everyone was there for this important brainstorming meeting And within minutes or maybe seconds They locked in on Star Wars
Starting point is 00:04:54 They're like locked the fuck in on Star Wars So they're like, people like Star Wars But they need something else, right? Something maybe It means one other thing And then it'll be perfect They decided on MP3s Because this was like the year 2000
Starting point is 00:05:10 They were hot at the time So the top dozen minds In Bleeding Edge, Portland, Oregon Digital advertisement Through the full weight of their creativity At something about Star Wars and MP3s And viral 30 minutes later MP3PO
Starting point is 00:05:26 Was born Not what he did Or why someone would share him Simply that, just the name MP3PO And like obviously To my core offensive Like this fucking punny bullshit But I also think I might have specifically had
Starting point is 00:05:42 On my website at the time like jokes About the kind of person Who might come up with MP3PO Like I might have had those exact words How could you not? And so The whole meeting I was fighting against And I'm like, no, this is terrible
Starting point is 00:05:58 You've got to stop this And not just because it sucked But because I knew it would be my job to fucking make it And I was just helpless against The tidal wave of committee There was maybe 10 or 11 other people I could not steer them away from MP3PO And that is us today
Starting point is 00:06:14 We are definitely in the process Of making MP3PO So that's our team name We're going to make a team name, of course And then our team name is MP3PO I love it, I love it So with that With full certainty
Starting point is 00:06:30 That this Zombie Court Or as they say in regular court Zombie Court is now in begin start Good one Good job, Zombies To explain again Basically I'm going to give AB testing
Starting point is 00:06:46 To a lot of zombie tropes And we're going to decide to three of us Which one we're picking Has to be a hard binary decision There's going to be some tough decisions There might be some easy decisions Okay, I have a question Are we making a physical zombie
Starting point is 00:07:02 Like a character Are we making a movie What are we making What is our banner Are we making an apocalypse Are we just going to try to end this End it all I think that's what's going to happen
Starting point is 00:07:18 We're trying to make the perfect zombie movie Using the best individual decisions Whenever there's like Two paths to take We're going to pick a path Those branching paths designed by committee Are going to lead us to What theoretically should be the greatest zombie movie ever
Starting point is 00:07:34 That's what we're doing Okay With full caveat that it's not going to work Zombie PO So we're going to end up with First prompt The most obvious one Are we doing fast zombies or slow zombies
Starting point is 00:07:50 Mmm So start with you David What are your thoughts on fast vs slow zombies Any reference to our rich zombie culture Right This is tough Because Not knowing what the
Starting point is 00:08:06 Like later decisions are going to be It feels like this decision Is going to affect the next and so on And so forth I always liked the rule And this is Not, okay So you're giving me this
Starting point is 00:08:22 This very binary choice But I always liked the rule That zombies maintain The speed and strength Of the people that they've Infected Meaning What about the disabilities
Starting point is 00:08:38 Of the person they affected Everything across the board So my zombie Yeah, my zombie is not going to do much My zombie is mostly just going to sit in a corner And be like oh Oh yeah, my zombie is just going to Lie down mostly
Starting point is 00:08:54 But You're asking faster slow I think we should go With the classic And start with slow I love it I was hoping to disagree with you I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:09:12 My reasoning is that I don't know, I just like it better Like a fast zombie is cool But The original I feel like the original idea of zombies Was Sort of like a slow creeping terror
Starting point is 00:09:30 Like the idea It's like human tide Yeah, exactly It's a slow wave that like Yes, you can board up your house But eventually they're going to get in It's all about the fact that you do have time To get away
Starting point is 00:09:46 And then You know, contemplate your next action So I'm going with slow Slow zombie I obviously agree I'm going to reinforce my decision though I'm going with slow zombie Like you said, because it's the tide
Starting point is 00:10:02 Coming in sort of thing That you can't do anything about it Is like the scary part Is that you see it coming You see the horde shambling towards you And you know that there's too many And that they will never stop coming And that's something about it
Starting point is 00:10:18 Whereas fast zombies so often just Feel like really mad people Right And that works a lot of times Like depending on the movie for sure But it works in a different way Than your traditional zombie movie So I think before building the perfect zombie movie
Starting point is 00:10:34 I think zombies are slow I think fast zombies are a different genre I agree completely And the thing I want to add is that Looking at it from a game design Perspective, if you're fast And unlimited and you have to get headshot That's just bad game design
Starting point is 00:10:50 It's bad game balance, overpowered That's true, also If we're going back to the idea that zombies Take on the characteristics of the bodies They infect Well, those are corpses So I think that's part of the reason Why they're so slow, right?
Starting point is 00:11:06 They're literally like falling apart Like they can't move fast Maybe if someone was freshly bit Maybe faster, I guess I was going to say, there's also that third option Yeah, also A lot of modern zombie movies Tend to do fast zombies now
Starting point is 00:11:22 And if we're making an ideal zombie movie We're going to have to sort of Think about what audiences Might find appealing now Right? So people are Kind of sick of the fast zombie Maybe not sick, but they've seen it a lot So if we can get the slow zombie
Starting point is 00:11:38 Like a resurgence Bring that back We've got to shake it up 20 days later Really shook it up with the fast zombies You've got to find that next shake-up If you're going to do it Either go with the classics
Starting point is 00:11:54 Which are the slow zombies Do whatever is the next thing that zombies don't do Like a disinterested zombie Zombies that are not interested in you A-loof zombies A-loof zombies Like a sad bullfight And instigate them
Starting point is 00:12:10 They get them to come over and fight you Right, where you at some point realize That you're the bad guy I'll just leave you alone Sorry I like a little hustle There's a series of books called The Morning Star Strain That you might have heard of
Starting point is 00:12:26 Where the zombies start off and they're kind of pissed off Like they're full of adrenaline But then they basically wreck themselves Like sprinting after the nearest target So they sort of break their legs I sort of like that Yeah, there's a lot of like that Freshly-bitten rule has been out there for a little bit
Starting point is 00:12:42 Where the more recently dead you are The more powerful and faster you are But as you like decompose You just get slower and slower Until the ultimate zombie movie would be Skeletons In my opinion I'm saying if it all goes back around
Starting point is 00:12:58 And then skeletons are fast again Bring back the genre of skeleton movies Because they have to be stop motion Yeah I think the other thing I like about slow movies Is that it sort of leads to Unintentionally funny moments And even in Romero Walking Dead
Starting point is 00:13:14 Where they're trying to set this tone of It's just scary and really bad But then it's just kind of silly This horde of guys that are just Taking all day to get across the room at you And I sort of like that That's one of my things that I like about the zombie genres It's kind of fun even when it's terrifying
Starting point is 00:13:30 I have a final Argument to make Which is that I've been in a zombie Sketch series For correct And I was allowed to do that Because they were slow zombies
Starting point is 00:13:46 Had they used fast zombies I sure as shit wouldn't have been involved So like it's For like a big slow guy Like myself That's great Slow zombies are great You got fast zombies and then there's a couple
Starting point is 00:14:02 Zombies at the back just doing their best Just like way behind Huffin' and puffin' zombies, yeah I gotta walk a little bit and then I'll run for a little I gotta work out to it Well It seems like we're all in agreement Slow zombies locked in
Starting point is 00:14:18 Now we're gonna zero in on Sort of the overall theme Is this about finding your own strength Or are humans the real monsters Basically is this an adventure story For like The dangers of society or whatever Like capitalism and stuff
Starting point is 00:14:34 For picking hot button topics for me Feel strongly about them so far Oh good What was the first option Is it about like finding your own strength Are we getting like a character arc Is this guy like learning who he is In the face of this terrible world size calamity
Starting point is 00:14:52 Or are we learning that Maybe he's the real monster Because he's Anyway Let's start with Robert this round Seems like you've got I am sick to death Of humans are the real monster trope
Starting point is 00:15:08 Like it was Okay the first few times we deployed it But then that becomes every Not just zombie movie but every Like worldwide monster threat movie Is the monsters Get you in an isolated place Or in a bad position and then you realize
Starting point is 00:15:24 Humans are the real monsters And like first of all it's just overused To death but it also makes for A much less interesting movie I mean A really good story is about character arcs And so often those movies end With a character arc being like okay
Starting point is 00:15:40 And now you die because you underestimated Something or whatever It's great for hardcore survival run dudes But It's terrible for Story telling Not always there's no hard and fast rule But it's bad for storytelling these days
Starting point is 00:15:56 Because every interesting story That is humans are the real monsters In my opinion has been done And then also every uninteresting Story about that has been done too It's kind of entry level cleverness To see a horde of baby eating undead And be like actually it's our
Starting point is 00:16:12 Self centeredness that makes us the bad guys Yeah It's the monsters that are the real monsters I do want to bring up some good examples I don't know if you've seen Black Summer It's on Netflix It wasn't really received that well It makes a lot of bold and sometimes
Starting point is 00:16:28 Probably bad artistic choices Like a lot of pointless nonlinear Story telling and long long silences But every time you meet a new person In that show your skin crawls And it's like the zombies are fast Unkillable nightmares but if some stranger Comes running up and begs to get in the car
Starting point is 00:16:44 You're like oh fuck oh fuck this is bad And so like To build tension in a Troubling way You've also zeroed in On the last zombie show that I totally Checked out of I don't automatically check them out
Starting point is 00:17:00 But yeah I did check that one out a few weeks ago And I got halfway through the first episode And I was like okay yeah I see it I think Because I also agree here I agree that humans are the real Monsters has been played out However
Starting point is 00:17:16 If Like if we can come up With a new allegory For a societal problem To put in here I'd be into it Like I enjoyed uh Romero's land of the dead
Starting point is 00:17:32 And like the class struggle That was in there There's been good versions But I think we have to like really Really reinvent That concept To use it You know like we need to do a
Starting point is 00:17:48 Like a zombie allegory That's secretly about how we need to like Fund NASA Like something really like random I don't know how to fit that in Obviously The solution is leaving the planet Gotta fund NASA
Starting point is 00:18:04 Just like if we can If we do an allegory It's gotta be fresh Otherwise I'm throwing it out This is not about Humans are the real monster Maybe it's about allegory But that will be secondary to the primary
Starting point is 00:18:20 Adventure story Yes That sounds great to me I'm interested I'm into it yeah Okay so slow zombies And no bullshit Like
Starting point is 00:18:36 Hidden meaning about our problems as a society Unless we find something really cool If no ultimate message that humans Are the real monsters because yes We all expect that now Also I think the zombies are the monsters Yeah Here's our third prompt
Starting point is 00:18:52 Are these just regular zombies Or is there some kind of hook And what I mean is like Is there like moments where the dead Are kind of learning Or holding guns or the unfrozen Nazis Basically is this a zombie movie Or some other word then zombie movie
Starting point is 00:19:08 And I don't think setting counts So if you did zombies on a cruise ship for example That's a regular zombie movie on a boat But of course if you did it on a space station Fuck you those are space zombies That's a space zombie movie See you get it Wait spaceship does count
Starting point is 00:19:24 That boat does That setting because yes I think a boat is within the realm of like A normal thing that zombies would do Whereas if you're in space and there's zombies That's a space zombie movie Right You don't say oh yeah I'm watching a boat zombie movie
Starting point is 00:19:40 You'd be like what the fuck You know what it is but you're like that's not a genre But a space zombie movie that sounds like a genre Just like if it's a Nazi Zombie movie Yeah a great genre I guess So you want to hook to your story Is what you're saying Brockway
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah you know what I do I'm gonna say that Damn it I have to agree I have to agree I know I know This is going quick I know we need an argument here I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:20:12 I just agree with you both I like a straight zombie story I feel like I grew up In my age I had like three Romero movies And I would sit through like Boring ass Luchio Fulci movies Just to have like a normal zombie moment
Starting point is 00:20:28 Like when they fight a shark Because every zombie was like Zombies but they're a maniac cop Or these are zombies but they're unfrozen Nazis And I just wanted straight zombie shit Like there's only like two straight zombie movies When I was a kid
Starting point is 00:20:42 And I wanted more of that And now I feel like there's tons of that And I'm happy Yeah I'm going from You know now perspective From a modern perspective There's a lot of that Which is why I think there are room for hooks
Starting point is 00:20:58 I don't actually condemn the basic zombie movie And still do Some interesting stuff with that Largely in place of setting And stuff but Yeah I think there's so much more room for a hook Now that we've established This baseline of
Starting point is 00:21:14 Everybody has this cultural knowledge now Everybody knows All about zombie movies Not just the rules of them or how they work But like the variations of them And plans on them and theoreticals about them So there's room for you to play with that hook now Which I think is interesting
Starting point is 00:21:30 Okay but I do have a question Which is What zombie movies with hooks Have been good That's a very good point And that's why I'm on the side of regular zombie movie Um well This still puts
Starting point is 00:21:46 I still kind of want a hook for that reason For the reason that I can't Yeah we're the ones that are going to deal with it We could be the first good one Yeah we can be the first good one Like somebody's going to come out with like 50 I'll tell you the closest thing to A hook that I enjoyed
Starting point is 00:22:02 Um I don't know if This counts as a hook because the zombies themselves Are regular zombies Uh the movie Maggie With Arnold Schwarzenegger Did you guys see that? Of course not I don't know if that was
Starting point is 00:22:18 I could call that a good movie But I really liked the idea Of a zombie movie that takes place Like right at the end Where there's like not that many zombies There's still sort of around But society's getting back on its feet I thought that was a really interesting idea
Starting point is 00:22:34 In a movie that was somewhat boring And maybe it's boring Because there weren't that many goddamn zombies in it But I thought that was a really cool idea Uh does that count As a hook? Of course absolutely Okay
Starting point is 00:22:50 Oh you think that counts as I was going to argue that for being setting Like setting to me I feel it has a It's because it happened after like a whole thing Like uh Like the zombie apocalypse has happened And so that's a different world completely So it's not like being on a boat
Starting point is 00:23:06 It's like being on a completely other planet to me Right Kingdom would be a hook to you To these rules I guess so Yeah a realm or a kingdom Is there a movie called Kingdom? No the actual show called Kingdom
Starting point is 00:23:24 Right as in like getting that name wrong The Korean show where it's like uh Medieval times in Korea Okay I didn't watch that But you are bringing up this question And zombies yeah Yeah does an era count As a hook?
Starting point is 00:23:40 Because I think caveman zombies would be fun Yeah Only because like what are they gonna fucking do Against those zombies They'll sell a bunch of boulders in front of a cave You know? Like that's a pain in the ass You lure them over to the dinosaurs
Starting point is 00:23:56 And the dinosaurs bite their heads off That's true Yeah we actually wrote an awesome movie And uh so I guess that's my pitch for a hook Dinosaurs Dinosaurs are great I do think that a few dinosaurs Should become zombies
Starting point is 00:24:12 I guess maybe all of them would very quickly So yes that's the hook This is now a dinosaur movie The dinosaurs eats the zombie And you're like sweet the dinosaurs Is taking care of the zombie for us And then the dinosaurs like starts retching And then like looks over at you with zombie eyes
Starting point is 00:24:28 And then it just ends and you're like oh these guys are so fucked That's the movie That's the ending of Deep Rising basically So that's your hook pitch? Are we pitching hooks? I think we should pitch some hooks We're going with hooks I think we shouldn't go Empty handed out of this meeting
Starting point is 00:24:44 Like here's an idea An idea I was originally thinking like animal zombies Like a horse zombie That would be fun a bunch of horse zombies Running around But one that I genuinely Think would be really gnarly
Starting point is 00:25:00 Is a I guess it would be summed up with cyborg zombies Now let me explain Which is that It's the future And a company has created Basically what You're writing Robocop
Starting point is 00:25:16 Hold on Robot Robot cops So a company has created Like an iPhone for your brain Basically like google glass What google glass wanted to be Like this device that we all put in our brain
Starting point is 00:25:32 And we're all connected to the internet And it's like our new smart phone And everybody gets it And then we find out that when we die The device is malfunctioned And continue to Communicate with our brains And begin to zombify people
Starting point is 00:25:48 So they're actually It's not a disease It's the I believe night of the living dead rules In night of the living dead It was if you die, you're a zombie Right? Doesn't matter how you died Yeah, first one
Starting point is 00:26:04 Oh I thought because they come out of the graves I think the very first one Was if you die There's something wrong That is bringing the dead back to life Yeah there was no more room in hell That was like the log line Right, so that's my pitch
Starting point is 00:26:20 It's not bite driven It's simply if you're murdered The device just starts Puppeting your body around Okay, it's a great hook I'll be thinking about that Okay because I am But it's a strong maybe
Starting point is 00:26:36 I am realizing that There's nothing That's a cool idea But there's nothing inherently visually awesome About what I'm pitching Unless they get like laser eyes or something I'd still rather see A dinosaur eat a zombie at this point
Starting point is 00:26:52 I hate to put down my own idea Those are really different movies Yeah I think There's no reason you can't make both Yeah sure, we can make both Well I already Wrote a thousand page Book with my hook
Starting point is 00:27:10 Of zombies So I guess I already went But I'll go twice I like to do I've been getting weird in meta for a long time I'd like to do Like a Saturday morning block of cartoons That gets invaded
Starting point is 00:27:26 By zombies Like you're watching a Saturday morning block of cartoons And then It's sort of slowly revealed that they're all kind of in the same world And this world is Just starting to face a zombie apocalypse Over the course of how many years Like how many years does this just go on
Starting point is 00:27:42 As a normal cartoon program block I would say you kind of Would watch at least the first Good chunk of it live as they Realize that this is happening But then yeah you could do It would be cool for a third act certainly to do like a time jump Like this is
Starting point is 00:27:58 I guess this is more a TV show I guess 2021 you put these cartoons on TV Introduce the zombies in 2025 Uh No you're introducing the zombies Pretty well at least the hints of them Right from the start because you really want that zombie action I don't want you to just
Starting point is 00:28:14 I feel like that's got to be an episode one deal right Yeah you got to start to get there But you can slow roll it I want them to be like Have the plush toys So you would have to have the ingenious plan To keep this show On the air
Starting point is 00:28:30 Slow long con And then just Have them all murdered Yeah that's great I like a Scooby-Doo moment where they try to find out Who the ghoul really is And they pull off his face and it's just
Starting point is 00:28:46 Flesh and bone under words Because it's a zombie Because they're too close Way too close There's my killer scene To recap We've got A hook for our movie
Starting point is 00:29:02 And it's either Saturday morning cartoon block Gets invaded by zombies, dinosaurs Or iPhone zombies iPhone brain zombies I want to get rid of my Pitch Because the way you described it just now
Starting point is 00:29:18 iPhone zombies means That we might end up making an accident to allegory For like all the kids on their phones There's no way we're getting out of that movie I don't want to tell that shit It's our phones that are the real It's still the zombies People are getting that from the commercial
Starting point is 00:29:34 We can't escape that I'm dropping that immediately That's a great point For my part I'd just like to make this one small argument Obviously there will be dinosaurs In my cartoon block So in a way we just do Brockways
Starting point is 00:29:50 And everybody's happy Well, here's the thing So I do really like the cartoon idea However I think dinosaurs are more fun As CGI Because that's more
Starting point is 00:30:06 Gory, that's more visceral I'd rather see that One of the very few things Yeah There are better as CGI That said The Saturday morning cartoon idea Is fantastic
Starting point is 00:30:22 And it can, yes, have dinosaurs But that is the one thing The other idea is bringing to the table So I guess we have to ask ourselves Do we want that Or do we want Or are we happy going with The cartoon version
Starting point is 00:30:38 I think Brockways idea Gives me way more joy than my own idea But again, it's apples and oranges Sweet Let's go with the cartoon Yeah, let's go with the cartoon I don't care what David says You know what, if we can get it
Starting point is 00:30:56 If we can get away with it They're gonna be Dino Riders Oh, now we're talking Will the zombies be riding the dinosaurs? Oh, shit At some point, yeah, that's gotta be the turn I took it as writers with a T In the writers room we will have dinosaur writers
Starting point is 00:31:12 Oh, I meant like the show Dino Riders I like them both I'm down for both But we gotta keep moving The next prompt We sort of touched on this a little already Did the people in this movie know
Starting point is 00:31:28 What zombies were going into this or not Now, it should be an easy one But they both sort of suck I personally, I sort of hate when characters In the movie are all cute and they like Know they're in a movie, but I really hate The lazy world building of saying to me Oh, this world's just like yours
Starting point is 00:31:44 You have a very specific percent of your pop culture Except for when we accidentally reference it Like walking dead They don't know what zombies are But like somebody mentioned Resident Evil And the pilot and I'm like, how the fuck Do you have that and not know what those things are It's a romcom here
Starting point is 00:32:00 It's a dating sim I think it's a fun bit If they know about zombies And the zombies turn out to function Nothing like they were told You can shoot them in the chest and they die And it's like, what the fuck I thought only the brain
Starting point is 00:32:16 That said, for the Saturday morning cartoon premise Like you're picturing like kids shows Right? And like kind of cheery Yeah, they should probably not know about it Yeah, I think it's funnier You would have to explain the concept Of mortality to them Right, I want to see
Starting point is 00:32:32 You wouldn't be allowed to see actual violence But you'd have to start using it Yeah, I want to see the shock I want to see a fucking planetier That just caved someone's head in Yeah, and like the first One of the first GI Joes Like they're sitting there shooting lasers
Starting point is 00:32:48 And he gets torn apart and just Eating in front of all the rest And they have to deal with what real violence looks like In their world now I can't even picture that That's incredible You know who do really well against Zombies?
Starting point is 00:33:04 Shredder Now think about it Would just be really happy To be in their element all of a sudden This is why I've been doing this I told you it would pay off one day Yeah See an asshole now
Starting point is 00:33:20 You know who would be totally fucked From the same show? Krang Yeah Krang is a delicacy to them Yeah, Krang is just one giant talking brain And also he has a Totally open brain window in his stomach Yeah, that thing is a weirdly designed robot
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, that's basically just to Serve zombies quickly and easily Yeah, he's at zombie level Star waiter So Are we in agreement though? I think that See it's tough
Starting point is 00:33:52 This is one where I sort of want to thread the needle But we have to make a binary choice Do these people come from a world where Zombie fiction exists I say a hard no I think it's way better If they have to discover what zombies are I like that
Starting point is 00:34:08 Yeah, I think from the top level it can be okay To acknowledge that zombies are a thing Just like a lot of vampire movies Vampire movies don't need to be shy About that shit, they don't They don't ever be like, what the fuck is a vampire No, it's fine You don't need to cover for yourself
Starting point is 00:34:24 Zombie movies Here is the argument for why it's actually Silly that they wouldn't know About zombies That zombies is Even if the movies didn't exist It's a very basic cultural thing Like the dead coming alive
Starting point is 00:34:40 That's a basic fear Like maybe they don't have the word zombie For it, but they would have a word For it That said, I still think We should go with no zombie movies They don't know the rules They don't know like the biting thing
Starting point is 00:34:56 They have to discover that Cause it's way more fun if they have to discover it I agree I also agree What a pleasant journey this has been I know We're becoming good friends, everyone So fifth question
Starting point is 00:35:12 Is our protagonist Ready for this badass Or a struggling everyman I Am gonna vote with an Everyman Because of the nature of the show Or movie we're making
Starting point is 00:35:30 The Saturday morning cartoon idea I do like The Dino Riders and the G.I.J.Os But I don't think it should start with that I think it should start With more of like I don't know Like a Scooby-Doo type
Starting point is 00:35:46 Or like Some other cartoon That is way less prepared Okay So you don't think Scooby-Doo is prepared For zombies, that's all they do all day As fight zombies They are pretty sure old men
Starting point is 00:36:04 Right, I guess I disagree Because if I'm allowed to pick between John Rambo And a second thing, I always pick John Rambo So I Want a survivalist or a super cop I don't want to Jesse Eisenberg Maybe he can show up and slip on a banana peel But I want our main guy to be like
Starting point is 00:36:20 Just like He knows how to open doors And kill zombies and find food And hunt, you know, that type of thing I definitely don't want a Jesse Eisenberg For the specific premise I think it would be both I mean it would naturally be both
Starting point is 00:36:40 You'd have the cartoons that are utterly unprepared For any degree of this But you would also have the sort of Double play Which is the super bad asses that don't Get to ever see the real consequences That, you know, it's a consequence of this game Suddenly discover they're
Starting point is 00:36:56 Actually the everyman in this world Yeah, I guess What it is, I would want A bad ass that's in proximity To a lot of everyman Cartoons Who can get smoked I want a lot of bad asses too
Starting point is 00:37:12 That realize that maybe they're not so bad ass In front of this Right, that's true, yeah Everyman get to step up To grab some of the G.I. Joe weapons Right, that Care Bears would wreck zombies Just blast them with Tummy magic
Starting point is 00:37:28 Tummy magic and now guns Yeah, I really like the idea of a Care Bear Just picking up a G.I. Joe weapon I think a lot of the Fucking nut up hard wire Yeah, I think what we'd want to front load it with Is a lot of Of the other kind
Starting point is 00:37:46 Like I want to see Garfield and friends get torn apart You know? Yeah And like I do I want to see the less prepared The more innocent ones Just get steamrolled And then I like the idea of Like you take someone from that world
Starting point is 00:38:02 Like a Care Bear And you reveal that they have a dark past Right, that they are actually You don't think they're prepared And then they turn out to be the most prepared Right Trauma Bears got some shit to work through The idea of adding another level to
Starting point is 00:38:18 Like those over complicated stories already Like they would take Frogger And they'd say what if Frogger was a bebop Journalist from the 50s And then he got time travel to the old west Which is how they made cartoons in the 80s Yeah, they would just keep throwing shit on And I really like the idea of
Starting point is 00:38:34 Also having to add zombies to A fourth or fifth idea Absolutely, yeah So who's our protagonist? I feel like I'm okay with the struggling Everyman If he gets to a Tough place quickly
Starting point is 00:38:50 I just think we could have Secret Badass, like it's the best of both worlds Where it is actually a badass Right But we present them like in Everyman In like the first act, you know Like in the first like 10 pages Of this thing
Starting point is 00:39:06 And then they spring into action And like the other The other ones are like how did you learn this Kind of thing Now that you put it in my head I would love for it to be John from Garfield Ooh, wow That's really strong, yeah
Starting point is 00:39:22 Just this pathetic weenie But you know nothing about him Because you just see everything about him From the perspective of his cat Who doesn't know all the shit he did in Vietnam Right, I also like the idea of John secretly going to gun ranges Like maybe he was going to take
Starting point is 00:39:38 A really dark turn in his life And then the zombies happened And gave him a purpose And he's got a Got an on weenie, all the weeniness he learned Mm-hmm, mm-hmm I also think that he'd probably want to hunt Specifically Garfield, I think when Garfield gets
Starting point is 00:39:54 Bit by a zombie, something terrible happens And it becomes like some sort of a smart brain zombie Okay And I know I didn't really want this in our Program, but I feel like it's evolving into that That There will be some sort of a king zombie Who is it and John is hunting him
Starting point is 00:40:10 Just the emotional core Like maybe Garfield made him promise to kill him If he ever turns But he didn't get to, Garfield took off And so now he's just looking to fulfill His promise to kill his own cat And it's all he has left Civilizations collapsed, all he has left is this promise
Starting point is 00:40:26 He made to this fat cat Right, I could see the idea that Garfield Like is taken away by the zombies at first Like Bit kind of taken away And the reveal in the third act Is now like the ruler Like of the zombies I do like that twist
Starting point is 00:40:44 Something that troopers it He's the brain Right, he can be like big and grotesque If you want Like all fucked up I don't know Part of me is like there's a lot of Garfield Memes out there
Starting point is 00:41:00 And I feel like We're going down a path We're not healing But we're not What about Sonic the Hedgehog But like a little erotic If anyone has done that The problem with that is
Starting point is 00:41:16 Fast zombie, you don't want a fast zombie No, he's pregnant So he can't get around real well So he's like sloshing around Yeah, pregnant zombie You have a good point I think all these would be We wouldn't specifically do Garfield
Starting point is 00:41:32 It doesn't have to be a cat It can change the characters But it would be running alongside Every other show, of course An ensemble thing with Maybe him emerging as your main character Yeah, what you could do We don't want to spend too much time
Starting point is 00:41:48 In act one establishing these cartoons We want to be able to point to something And have the viewer know this is their Garfield one What we could do What we could maybe play with is Remember that anti-drug PSA Characters Garfields there
Starting point is 00:42:04 Alphas there, he keeps trying to eat Garfield It could be like that It could be like an anti-drug Or that's a way to merge These worlds This is a fictional universe Of those cartoons altogether For a special
Starting point is 00:42:20 For a very special episode And then zombies show up That's great That's perfect Characters in there too Henry Winkler maybe Gary Busey Just throwing out some ideas
Starting point is 00:42:36 Yes to all Mr. Belvedere I feel like Whoever are Protagonists is they become a badass Very quickly We're not going to be falling around someone who's like Squeamishly, oh I don't want to kill the zombies
Starting point is 00:42:56 They're going to get there I honestly think they're already there When it starts My argument was that People didn't know Like they were just secretly Ready for this Right
Starting point is 00:43:12 They just the rules of their universe didn't allow it Or the Take a Care Bear for example That is a bear Right and like A bear can fuck you up so maybe it's just A Care Bear Just because I care doesn't mean I'm not a bear
Starting point is 00:43:28 Exactly It can be like a gentle giant That turns out to just Have a really dark past Like a film like What was that nobody With Bob Odenkirk Where it's like a retired badass
Starting point is 00:43:44 Or something that nobody knows about So now what is The tone Crushing terror of a world against you Or zany video game with unlimited Dumb easy targets I feel like we're going towards zany video game But I guess
Starting point is 00:44:02 Let's discuss that I sort of like them both I think the zombie land movies are a little dumb But it's also no question how I would spend the apocalypse So I guess like My dream movie would be following the video game Lunatics around while they're fucking around doing Awesome zombie kills while everyone else is
Starting point is 00:44:18 You know rebuilding civilization Or whatever I want to I want to show them Just so it's more fun When you see the people like making an army A darkness car and just enjoying The murder right somebody else is like Trying to get ice cream stand Back on the ground like don't you guys miss ice cream
Starting point is 00:44:34 I honestly I want to get I think it's funny To do dark and grounded with the cartoon Characters yeah like I think it's It's funnier to see Like you know a cartoon Character mercy kill Another cartoon character who's been bit
Starting point is 00:44:50 And like crying You know them like starving In a bunker they're starting wacky and zany already Yeah I think this is like a dose of reality for Them So I think I personally think the Darker the better the more tragic
Starting point is 00:45:06 The better however there still Have to be elements of somebody building Their army of darkness car Yeah we yeah I think we can have Both I think we can like my My issue with like zombie Zombie land is that
Starting point is 00:45:22 It like It's sort of just Pushed too far for that Like it's so like you take that movie Compared to like Sean the dead And Sean the dead actually has emotional Scenes in it And like feels like they're real people
Starting point is 00:45:38 Even though they're obviously comedic characters And I just I My eyes glaze over whenever I watch zombie land Because it's just so Incredibly Gimicky I guess Yeah it's a cake made out of frosting like someone said Hey my favorite part of zombie movies is when they're
Starting point is 00:45:54 Fucking around having a good time killing zombies And then they said what if the whole movie was that And there's a reason Why you're not supposed to do that Right So I like I like the frog On a hot plate idea like army of darkness Is a great example because like
Starting point is 00:46:10 If you watch that from evil dead And slowly watch that series You're never gonna assume That by the end he has a Helicopter car thing Chopping up armies of the dead Like they slowly bring you into that Where you're like wait how the hell did we get here
Starting point is 00:46:26 Sort of slowly I mean they made three movies The first movie was absolutely like Cabin in the woods movie the second movie Was basically the first movie again And then the third movie was like Yeah but funny and then the third movie was like Okay helicopter fucking car
Starting point is 00:46:42 Versus medieval army of the dead Yeah And it's a perfect movie And yes They're all perfect movies yes But I do think we can In the span of two hours Get us to that place where shit is
Starting point is 00:46:58 Just completely out of control Right If we play our cards right So we're in agreement The zombies are a real threat The overall theme is The overall tone is horror But we're still having moments of fun
Starting point is 00:47:14 I think so yeah Okay now This might seem like a simple one But do victims need to get bitten Or like we said earlier There's just no more room in hell Now I think it works both ways Because I expect you to die if a zombie bites you
Starting point is 00:47:30 In a movie Even if it's not a contagious bioweapon zombie So this is more of a tone thing Because in this mission there's a hope to it Like if you can kill all the zombies You're done But if the dead keep coming back That's like crushing existential terror
Starting point is 00:47:46 Because life is just fucking over As you know it So how do you feel about that Say G.I. Joe breaks his leg Dies from trauma Is he a zombie Or is he fine because he didn't get bitten I want to see
Starting point is 00:48:04 I want to see the scenes where the cartoon characters Have to deal With somebody deal with their own mortality As they have these zombie bites And turn and beg for death Of course and our Garfield subplot depends on it We can't lose the Garfield subplot
Starting point is 00:48:20 That's the emotional core of this movie Yeah I think I agree any other movie I like the no more room in hell I like that better fundamentally But in this case I think dealing with zombie bites Is going to be very important
Starting point is 00:48:38 That's exactly what I was going to say But I like the no more room in hell Or the just Some external force outside of the bite Makes it I did that in my own book because I want to see more of that Seems like we've gotten away from that And very into it as
Starting point is 00:48:54 As kind of a viral thing Yeah Like I do Our movies need to have that For sure I don't think this movie can though Yeah this one works I agree
Starting point is 00:49:10 Just because there's the no more room in hell To me is more depressing And that's what we need to push against Like our cute little colorful Saturday morning guys The first one to kill himself And then you You see slowly like the people His friends mourn him and realize that he just comes back
Starting point is 00:49:26 That's a good moment So This is another big important thing Do we slowly suggest the origin and rules Or do we somehow explain everything Do we sneak it into the exposition In most cases I prefer to be a mystery
Starting point is 00:49:42 I don't really like a comet or a wizard If they're fast rage zombies I don't mind a chemical spill Or a bio weapon but As for the rules I go a little crazy if they don't get explained But I don't want Like the source of the zombies explained Like that makes sense
Starting point is 00:49:58 Right I think the only way to Actually explain the source of the zombies Is to do something clever with the Saturday morning cartoon characters You know Like if one of them used like care bear magic To accidentally make zombies That said
Starting point is 00:50:14 It's just a fucked up fantasia Yeah it's just like a fantasia spell That went wrong I think that's a fun way to do it Either to throw away the origin Like a quick explanation Or like some dark reveal But generally speaking
Starting point is 00:50:30 If we can't think of What that is I would rather leave it ambiguous Could just be a new like gritty show Added to their block It just doesn't It doesn't mix well with the others I do like that
Starting point is 00:50:46 I was about to say unless we can come up with a vital reason for it to be there But that's like a really good reason I like that Like the programmer for the network said Like hey I got this great new show And they're like I don't think it's gonna work He's like fuck you and he puts it in and then everything goes wrong Right it was supposed to play it like
Starting point is 00:51:02 Saturday at 9pm And they put it in at 9am Well when I was a kid They used to play pro wrestling Right after the cartoons And so maybe They made too dark a wrestler They made some sort of advanced
Starting point is 00:51:18 Maybe they just went for too dark of a show They put WWE in Raw Yeah Cause that was pretty messed up I mean when they put wrestling on right after I guess we didn't really know it at the time But so many of those Like everybody just dies to tragedy
Starting point is 00:51:34 So you're just guaranteed Watching soap opera deaths In slow motion Yeah you gotta teach kids about life And you know who should do it The ultimate wars Hexah Jim Deagon Everybody on my favorite show
Starting point is 00:51:50 After cartoons started dying To murders I don't think wrestling is the right choice I guess that's the example of how That didn't quite mix with the tone of like Laugh Olympics you know If you remember that one Yeah yeah no it doesn't have to be wrestling
Starting point is 00:52:06 Just I get what you're saying Right I do I do want to establish the rules As clearly as possible and keep them consistent I think this is maybe I mentioned this on the podcast before That zombies are really inconsistent And frustrating for me
Starting point is 00:52:22 Like walking dead is really bad about that They're hugely inconsistent In terms of their skull density especially Like normally in that show if you have a color crown At brain height you're untouchable Like you're just wiping zombies out Taking skulls home with your color crown And then sometimes a zombie will be on a crafty stealth mission
Starting point is 00:52:38 And you'll have to get him stabbed off you By seven other people And I think it's bad because Obviously but it's also made By the most hardcore zombie nerds Keeping track of all this shit and you're never gonna have A more vanilla zombie story with more effort, thought And money put into it than walking dead
Starting point is 00:52:54 And it's still just all over the fucking place So if we could do our part To establish the rules and keep them established I'd feel good We're dealing with a meta universe right And so In the rules of that meta universe How
Starting point is 00:53:10 Well written is If we're going with the zombie show That's in the wrong time slot How well written was that Zombie show There's a version where the characters are frustrated Exactly because of What you're saying
Starting point is 00:53:26 That the zombies are inconsistent And maybe there's some consistency to it Yeah that is a consistency It's a rule which is that There doesn't appear to be a rule Or maybe part of it is that they're trying To figure out those rules The idea that they're just
Starting point is 00:53:42 Criticizing the walking dead As they realize the nature of their apocalypse It's fucking not even written well We just established this I like that I guess with super friends they were Always inconsistent but The governing rule of that was because
Starting point is 00:53:58 They farmed it out to really disinterested And underpaid Korean animators And so Generally when something terrible and stupid happened You're like oh that they didn't know How to fly or something like that Right That could be your
Starting point is 00:54:14 Necessary twist on the zombies towards the end Animation glitches Just due to like outsourcing Right if we want to go extremely meta The characters could slowly realize That they need plot armor So they start like Fighting over who's the most interesting
Starting point is 00:54:30 One of them And like the most compelling story lines That they're creating We're writing the Game of Thrones finale now See how bad this got Yeah this is getting terrible So How did you guys land on this one
Starting point is 00:54:50 Do we slowly suggest the rules Or is there a character that comes in and is like I figured it out everyone I counted how long blah blah blah Personally I'm not a fan of the meta stuff Just because there's so much of it Even with zombie So I'd rather
Starting point is 00:55:06 I think we play it Straight And have rules Okay I agree Yeah Okay so One of these characters is gonna We'll have a little professor turtle
Starting point is 00:55:22 And he'll be like gentlemen He'll have a zombie like strapped to the chair Beside of me like I've studied the zombies blah blah He'll explain to everyone how it works Not exactly that but you'd be on board with something Better than that I think we need to lock down professor turtle I think that's
Starting point is 00:55:38 He's locked in okay Professor turtles I guess we've already answered this Because we're building something This is actually not even close to the format of how I thought this was gonna work But I love this show The prompt was Is the shit currently hitting the fan
Starting point is 00:55:56 Or are we navigating the ashes of civilization So in our current pitch The shit is hitting the fan Yes In general though let's just discuss this like in general Do you like zombie movies That do one of these things more than the other I think the ones I like the most
Starting point is 00:56:12 Are the shit hitting the fans ones For the most part I mean Honestly it kind of will just depend On the movie In the case of this Like I could see us Skipping ahead in time if we need to
Starting point is 00:56:28 You know I think it would be Really surprising For the audience if at some point We just cut to five years later And everybody's hardened and grizzled You know what else I like about that If I want to add on to that is What an amazing art design project
Starting point is 00:56:44 It would be to take all these other cartoons And mix them together five years later To have like Smurf's architecture With G.I. Joe architecture Yeah That would be fantastic Yes like I Again it's no surprise I did it
Starting point is 00:57:00 Already myself so But I'm a fan of the time jumps I definitely like to do A huge chunk of it As shit hits the fan and then Right Maybe midpoint act two probably act three Jump forward in time to like
Starting point is 00:57:16 I think what I like about The later stories is that It sort of determines like the scarcity of things Like the number of bullets and the food drama And especially I like the mad maxiness Of survivor groups like If you get far enough away from the shit hitting the fan Like people can like fully go crazy
Starting point is 00:57:32 And find a community of like minded crazy people And really build something weird I like that Hey do you guys Have you read crossed the Garthenis comic No It was like a really indulgent Garthenis comic And that it was sort of him seeing how horrible
Starting point is 00:57:48 He could be so the zombies were Like kind of lucid and functional sadists Who giggled through murder orgies And it was I'm not going to say it's good But it's better than making it sound And then Alan Moore wrote one called Crossed plus 100 That was set that far into the future
Starting point is 00:58:04 And it was also It was indulging in an Alan Moore way And that it was like as boring as he could fucking make it But it was also written entirely in Hundred years from now dialect So I can't tell if it was good because it's Like in a foreign language But it's definitely less
Starting point is 00:58:20 Tell them if this is good because I don't Understand So I guess the case I'm making there Is it's more thrilling to have the shit hitting The fan but it's Maybe more evocative to have it Like far later because now you have to imagine
Starting point is 00:58:36 What life is like in this whole other Time jump it's going to be a time jump I think what we do Alright so first act Is the build up Or the inciting incident hits the fan Right the first act Is we have our core group
Starting point is 00:58:52 That find each other They're all navigating this Sudden apocalypse They decide to try to stop The zombies maybe they have some Sort of Maybe they think they know the origin Or some way to stop it
Starting point is 00:59:08 Right and so the first half Of act two is Is that struggle maybe a couple Of them die They start you know we start Establishing their relationships And then we hit the halfway point And we make that
Starting point is 00:59:24 Since it's like the point of no return We make that the realization that They can't stop this And then we do hard cut To five years later And we Have them like in their New you know situation
Starting point is 00:59:40 And They're you know now we've seen these Relationships maybe Sonic's there And Sonic is you know pregnant now Very pregnant yeah Extremely pregnant and so all these New complications and stuff And then we almost it's almost like
Starting point is 00:59:56 Resetting the movie you have another inciting incident Where Someone is like guys I figured it out Maybe one character has never Stopped thinking about Solving the problem Right somebody's got a show back up Like somebody has disappeared from this society
Starting point is 01:00:12 With the information I figure out what's actually going on Right and so there's a new push to Like Stop what's happening I have two gag ideas I want to pitch here One I want to pull out Just once just one time only
Starting point is 01:00:28 To like a single child watching it After the time jump so this show's been On for five years and he's just like Grimly watching these terrible Terrible things happen on Saturday morning cartoons Now my other pitch Is not that but It's all this is taking place on a VHS tape
Starting point is 01:00:44 Someone taped And so it's not actually going out on the air It's all taking place on the VHS tape And so this is They made a mix of all their favorite cartoons That they just recorded Right and so like it's not The world doesn't know about this it's just like one person
Starting point is 01:01:00 Discovering this after they get like Some old box of shit out of their attic Is the time jump Then The fact that they're missing episodes In the tape I like that yeah like they didn't tape A show for you know
Starting point is 01:01:16 Five six episodes and that in cartoon time This is what they left to deal with Just an idea like It's sort of a whole other like Time travel element to it Could be somebody recorded over Part of it with a zombie movie That could be the origin story too
Starting point is 01:01:32 I don't know if it's better It's maybe less clever But like it makes more sense I don't know how to explain it Alright if it's like a Thank you If it's like a last action hero situation Where it's like a magic tape
Starting point is 01:01:48 Or like something like lightning hit the house No it needs to be a last action hero Centaurio That's it More movies need to be last action hero I'm just out right I worry we're gonna suck that kid into the tape And I don't want to go there
Starting point is 01:02:04 I feel like we're right there We're about to suck that kid into the tape I just mean like Yeah no sucking kids I just mean like some sort of magic happens That affects the tape Right yeah it's the golden ticket You use the wrong tape to do this
Starting point is 01:02:20 Yeah Yeah he gets the tape At like a mysterious fair By a man that's a video clerk That's clearly a wizard Played by Christopher Walken I like it Don't play this tape
Starting point is 01:02:36 I can't do it Christopher Walken You just did This next one is good Because if we do this is a plot question It's the main sequence of our movie Are we doing a siege thing Or a second thing So I think zombies greatest strengths
Starting point is 01:02:52 Are throwing themselves against your defenses Or being between you and a thing So we need to pick one I vote siege because I think a zombie's strength Is numbers and your strength Is foresight and a siege is the perfect battle Around between those two things A siege as in the zombies all kind of flooding
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yes Flooding your main fortress Thing in the movie that we built to is Oh god we're trapped here and here comes the zombies We have 8 hours to prepare 2 weeks to prepare I don't care but some prep time Like I say Our main darkness is the perfect movie
Starting point is 01:03:24 Maybe that's why I'm pitching siege I think it would be Like First act they Get away from the apocalypse They're able to get away from them Maybe the zombies all congregate Around one main area
Starting point is 01:03:40 And then I think What it would culminate to Is whatever efforts they make To stop the apocalypse Will draw the zombies to them Or like they have to infiltrate The zombie area themselves But whatever the case
Starting point is 01:03:56 That would be them dealing With a siege of some sort What if they're All their animation block is getting cut Except for one show And so there's just this tiny little section Of land left or real estate Or however you want to look at it
Starting point is 01:04:12 And so all the zombies are coming And then they just have this tiny little area left to protect And it's all or nothing this is their Alamo The 930am slot Everything else is Christian programming I think we're Kind of by our nature doing a second thing With the time jump
Starting point is 01:04:28 There's certainly going to be sieges In there with whatever Whatever life Or society they build after the time jump Will be based around Like a permanent siege of course It would have to be I think with the time jump
Starting point is 01:04:44 Kind of getting out of the way That's what this is doing I think it would be the second thing On a mission to do whatever It was to stop this I think it's Really going to bring up starship troopers For the second time but yeah I think it's the end of starship troopers
Starting point is 01:05:00 Where they have to Go in Get the brain It starts with a siege that kind of calms down The time jump happens And they've been living Sort of behind this barrier And they have to cross it
Starting point is 01:05:16 And go into the zombies To stop it So they have to like sneak into It'd be like That new The Zack Snyder zombie movie Where they go into Vegas Right
Starting point is 01:05:32 But yeah but good Better than that would be I prefer it to be better Did you see the prequel to that? No never Stunning it's about safe cracking And so the dude is always sticking his ear up To the safes and turning them
Starting point is 01:05:48 And then it'll cut inside the safe And show like five minutes of Like clockwork CGI Well he like carefully turns a knob Like someone said How are we going to make this exciting? It's a dude listening to his safe And they're like I've got it
Starting point is 01:06:04 CGI clockwork and they never came up with a second idea He does that inside of a bouncing truck Like Like you're listening for a click right That's the fucking idea He is just getting bashed around this Noisy truck and I'm like okay so he can't do it Right but no he's just that good
Starting point is 01:06:20 Right Definitely what I need in a zombie movie Which is long safe cracking sequence Yes well there are no zombies in this one Yes there's a news cast About zombies so like It's taking place in the entry Entry level of the zombie apocalypse
Starting point is 01:06:36 So it's happening but it hasn't like taken over the world yet Why? Do they fight zombies at all dude In the movie There's like a zombie dream sequence That's it Why do you suppose someone would make a movie like that It had to have been a bit right
Starting point is 01:06:52 Because they let them My theory was that that actor When they were shooting the zombie one Was like you know what's weird I'm doing a totally different movie That I'm kind of like this character I don't know if you want to loop it into this or something Because it just that sounds like
Starting point is 01:07:08 The most boring prequel You could possibly do You know what I bet it was I bet that dude's just awesome I bet he like drank with everybody all day And he became their best friends Like dude we gotta do a fucking movie together Yeah I think that's what happened
Starting point is 01:07:24 Yeah he seems pretty likeable Yeah I think that's what he was You lovable bastard This character you're doing is so funny What if this was the movie You mean the safe crackings This sounds very silly for So whole movie
Starting point is 01:07:40 Like listen to this guy talk We're doing it That is a good point I've watched most of the latest season of Great British Bake Off just for Jurgen Yes he's fantastic What's now going to bake of that tiny cupcake Listen that shit all day
Starting point is 01:07:58 Then there's a dude named The Italian's name is Giuseppe It's almost racist They both They radiated Divorced energy Like they just felt Divorced I don't even think they were
Starting point is 01:08:14 And I was rooting for them the whole time Yeah So we have one last prompt Are we wrapping this up in two hours Or is this an ongoing saga Two hours six hours whatever Is there a beginning middle and end to our story Or are we setting up a maxi series
Starting point is 01:08:32 I always Prefer Stuff to end Like Even if it's after five seasons I want to know how It'll end ahead of time And aim for that
Starting point is 01:08:48 And then take as long As we need to tell the story I think tops this is like maybe Two seasons Of fairly short I do think maybe it's not A movie maybe it's a TV series but I think that's a short run
Starting point is 01:09:04 TV series I think you could probably do it in one Yeah a mini series I think you could do like six to ten episodes I feel like an idea Is a great gimmick That if we had to get it done in one movie Like that's fine
Starting point is 01:09:20 But I think we're going to have so many ideas And so many characters that we need a lot more space to breathe I think we do There's a lot of space to play in that world We need a series for this If we're going to be at home We are going to need a series order Right we'll get Mike Flanagan to direct
Starting point is 01:09:36 You know a lot of monologues About like the after life Yeah he will And I will love it for him No absolutely not I want him to bring anything he wants to bring into this It's going to be about Catholicism Yeah
Starting point is 01:09:54 I totally agree with you guys I want to wrap this up But I do sort of like When something just overstays its welcome Like Walking Dead Just ran their shit in the ground They completely ran out of ideas But it kind of let everyone
Starting point is 01:10:10 Make up their own mind when it was time for them to leave And I think that's a luxury Most movies don't give you Like a lot of zombie stuff I really wish there was more of that You do not wish there was more Walking Dead I don't Nobody does
Starting point is 01:10:26 I still watch it and still like it I understand that But I think if it went off the air everybody would be like Oh okay That was planning you're right I think there's a charm to both Because I do think that Our cartoon premise would be fun
Starting point is 01:10:42 To run into the ground Or at least overstare our welcome And do like a lost thing Like if we mystery boxed this And then like gave everybody a wedgie in the last season I think that would be really funny Let's insert this real quick What if we beast ward it
Starting point is 01:10:58 So like you know when a cartoon show Has been on the air for a few years They come back in and like cyber update it For today's kids I feel like that That would be your last season It's the reboot of this cartoon It doesn't understand anything that's good
Starting point is 01:11:14 About the source material Where it's like bad CGI In the air Yeah perfect Yeah I think there's a room for this To be like there's a world where this is a movie But I do really like the idea
Starting point is 01:11:30 Of like Just like stretching out A series as far as It can go Until everybody is just so exhausted With it Because I really like The idea of people taking this premise
Starting point is 01:11:46 For granted you know And getting like sick of it A very limited silly thing For people like oh god They're doing another season of that So that would be delightful Definitely better for the goof But I like the limited series thing
Starting point is 01:12:02 And this is coming from somebody And I can't believe I'm going to say it Who has watched every episode of Supernatural I do think Yeah I do think The stuff can go on too long Yeah I mean this feels like a serial Right it feels like
Starting point is 01:12:18 We stand alone episodes as much as like We're continuing a story Couple seasons So it's going to be hard To like spin our wheels I just think there's value to both One is more like playing a practical Joke on everybody and the other is like
Starting point is 01:12:34 Trying to make something of quality Oh I absolutely think we should do the reboot It's the last season though I feel like it's not so much a practical joke As like a bit Like a big bit Yeah we could also Perfectly plan out
Starting point is 01:12:50 Every season and just plan A complete arc That lasts 25 seasons Yeah Like where we keep saying like no we do know how it's going to end And then when the last season finally Happens 25 years later Everybody's like wow they actually did
Starting point is 01:13:06 I think that Yeah that would be a huge surprise All it takes is for you to do well many years Of hard work and to be a genius Everybody to believe in you We can do that You know I mentioned Game of Thrones ending earlier But like we might be making a case for
Starting point is 01:13:22 How they should have run that show into the ground Cause when they tried to wrap it up Oh yeah that show didn't need less time That show needed like three more seasons I think people would still like that show If they just sort of let everyone give up on it People would just sort of have the fond memories Of the first five or six seasons they enjoyed
Starting point is 01:13:38 Just like I think Walking Dead's a good show for the most part Yeah I really enjoyed it Yeah but then there was like a season Where Negan would come out and he would give Like alpha dog Speeches for what seemed like Eight hours and
Starting point is 01:13:54 And that went on for more than an entire season And That was awful And They're doing a thing where they're kind of Rebuilding like the Class system so they like found a town where they're like Oh you were a rich person
Starting point is 01:14:10 Before then we're gonna make you a rich person here And you're like fucking why I do like the soap opera model The model of like this infinity train Where it's like just hop off And hop on whenever you feel like it We'll be here You guys hopped off so much later
Starting point is 01:14:28 You guys rode that train into the next state I got off on the next stop I liked Walking Dead 2 But I think it was season 2 Maybe season 3 then I was just like nope Oh yeah I lasted Very long So I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
Starting point is 01:14:44 I think what's appealing also Create the cast system Just can't even imagine how it got there What's appealing also with Stuff like the Walking Dead is getting to see these characters Like progress So like you can have these cartoon characters Get like the
Starting point is 01:15:00 You know the coral treatment Where they're like more and more grizzled And You know they start falling apart Or murdering and Over like the span of 10 seasons So I think that would also be kind of fun I agree
Starting point is 01:15:16 Just how far Cuddle Bear has gone On this journey Yeah exactly And I don't know if you guys read X-Men of the 90s But like comparable characters would go through these arcs Where they would rebuild their bodies And get like extra brains mashed into them And then like we could do that
Starting point is 01:15:32 Because they're cartoons Bored with two characters boom They just merged into one unit mind And now they're, you know, that's the kind of thing you can do Now they're a Centaur, who fucking cares I'm pregnant Pregnant Centaur Everybody's, there's gonna be a season
Starting point is 01:15:48 Where everybody gets pregnant Everybody gets pregnant God this is hot already Oh yeah It's gonna be erotic, right? I think that went without saying I think certain seasons will be more erotic Than others, for sure
Starting point is 01:16:04 Like I think the reboot As is usually the tradition with reboots There's gonna be a lot of fucking in that reboot I mean it's gonna be I know what you did last summer It's just straight fucking all the time If Crank sees a pregnant Centaur He's gonna fuck it
Starting point is 01:16:20 Yeah if we get on HBO We can be really explicit too Yeah So we'll send this to HBO I think we wrote a pretty good thing This is not at all what I thought we were gonna do I really thought we were going to Just sort of decide on what
Starting point is 01:16:36 The best theoretical zombie film would be Using Tropes But I think what we accidentally did is write Like two seasons of the greatest Show ever Yeah now let's just submit this around Get paid for it Sweet, you know if we did this podcast
Starting point is 01:16:52 Every week by the end of the year We would have seven awesome shows Yeah we would have A lot of shows and no listeners Tune in next week when we like Pitch a romantic comedy About sorcerers The Cosmoverse is in trouble once again
Starting point is 01:17:30 Evil Count's Spatula And his Star Boys And their Star Boys And their Wukong The Cosmoverse The Cosmoverse is in trouble once again Evil Count's Spacula Spacula and his Star Boys have captured Princess Aether, and it's up to the Supremes to save
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