The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 59, Pumping Iron with Lydia Bugg!

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Brockway, Seanbaby, and special guest Lydia Bugg are Pumping Iron! Watching the movie Pumping Iron, that is. Lydia revealed that she only knew Arnold Schwarzenegger from the '90s on, as America's Big Friendly Muscle Grandpa. Brockway was very happy to show her Pumping Iron, the 1977 documentary/body horror movie that would shatter every one of her misconceptions.

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

Do not remember. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone nine thousand, the official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog, America's last comedy website. I'm hot dog daddy Robert. No, I didn't like that. I like it.

It's great. I'm Robert Brockway. And with me is little bouncing brat, Sean. No, I didn't like that either. I'll be hot dog daddy. I'm fine with that. Lydia, do you want hot dog daddy?

I want to be hot dog daddy. Yeah. Okay. It's all yours. I'll just be regular little baby bratwurst. Well, that's funny because our guest today, of course, is Lydia Bug are wonderful. Weiner mop.

No. No. All right. You can have, you can have hot dog daddy. We just discussed that I was going to get hot dog daddy. I wanted to try mine, but you're right. You're right.

Hot dog daddy, Lydia Bug. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for coming on. I'll fix all this in the editing. Yeah. It's going to sound really good. We'll make it look real smooth.

All right. Well, thanks for coming on, Lydia. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here again. I can't believe we got the hot dog daddy. The hot dog daddy. I loved your album in the nineties.

Very problematic now, but at the time it was just a burner. Hot dog Hitler was right. A sweet beat, but I just don't agree with the lyrics anymore. I was just about to say I don't take any of it back, but you know, Oh yeah.

Things were different back then. It was a different time. You were not prepared for the words. Sean was going to put in your mouth. Sorry to fuck up the bit with Hitler every time. Every time with the fucking up the bit with Hitler. So Lydia, before we get started, what do you want to plug today?

I don't know. Man, I don't know. It's got to be something. I work for a website called 1900 hot dog. I feel like beginning in January, I just forgot everything I used to do. And I'm like, you know what? New year, new me,

I'm going to do stuff. But right now, I honestly, I have not doing anything. You know what? It's great. I don't plug your, your Twitter feed.

It's you know Lydia, right? Yeah. You know Lydia. Sure, I guess. Yeah. And then she will plug at a later date. This is an IOU for a plug. Yeah, I'm going to do something eventually.

I swear. I just added graphics to your last two articles and they're fantastic. At least one of them will be live by the time we record this. So just in case it's the masculine one, that one was a real treasure. And I'm a huge fan of that guy. Thank you.

Yeah, me too. Obviously, as I say in the article, if he were going to recruit me into a cult, I would fully, I would be in that cult. I might be in that cult right now. I think he was trying that. And so I think you've got to put your money where your mouth is now.

I think you're, you got to join a cult. First step of being an alpha male is joining a cult. Just having a real malleable brain. And then that's like, Well, the whole alpha beta thing is a cult. So yeah, you're correct. I'm in it.

Yeah. And congratulations. That's what I'm, that's what I'm going to focus my energy on this year is being in that cult. And yeah. Big energy. Yeah.

This year we're bringing big cult energy. Yep. All right. Sean, what do you want to plug? Wizard. 1,900 hot dogs. Fantastic website. Fun for the whole family.

There's a lady there. She does articles about masculinity plus wizards. I think she's in a cult though. They're kind of like a cultist. She's a bit of a cultist, has some weird songs about Hitler. I get big cult energy from her and I'm not sure why. I think we need to reappropriate the word cult though.

It's a community of people who are like-minded. Right. And that's why we're a cult now. Yeah. And a 900 hot dog cult. What is it? I would also like to plug 1,900 hot dog. Oh, I heard about that.

It's a wonderful website. Fold to the brim with culty goodness. Just, I didn't expect it to go this direction, but there it is. I would also like to plug our merch store, which I don't believe I've ever done before, but we have had for almost a year. Yeah, you could buy like shirts and things.

It's at poxcostore.com, P-O-X-C-O store.com. I got a tagline here. It's put our wieners in and then on you. I didn't sign off on that, but I'm 100% fine with it. We'll workshop that. Verbal signature hot dog daddy sign. Nothing I've tried so far has been successful, and yet I'm still going to keep trying.

Let's get to it. Today's podcast mostly came about because I was intrigued by something Lydia said during our Conan podcast. Because she's younger than us, she knows Arnold Schwarzenegger mostly from 90s and beyond. Would you say that's fair, Lydia? Yeah, definitely. And that's a very different Arnold than 80s Arnold.

Can you recall your first Arnold movie? Yeah, it was kindergarten cop. Fantastic. That is a wildly different Arnold. Yeah, it was kindergarten cop, and then it would be twins and then probably junior. Right. And even when he started doing it, it was jingle all the way,

and then even Terminator 2, his big daddy robot. What? No, that doesn't sound right. He's like a fatherly robot, like last action hero stuff. He was very family friendly, like a guy hanging out with you and your family in your living room every weekend when you rent the movies. Yeah, like a gentle giant was like, you know, I think of him.

Yeah. His first line in Terminator 2 was, I need your pants and panties. Which is just, you want that in your living room. Now, 80s and before Arnold was just, he was like a muscle golem, somebody summoned for destruction, and they just forgot to point him at anything. He just went nuts. It was, he was just, he was a problem in a really wonderful way.

Killed dozens and dozens of men in every movie. Yeah, and also maybe in real life. Yeah, almost certainly. Just, just he was, yeah, he was aggressive and crazy and brilliant in his way, but very, very womanizing and just, you didn't, you didn't want him in your living room at all. And with your family, no, nobody's, nobody's making out of that intact. Yeah, like when I saw him fuck a lady into a fire in Conan,

I was like, what is this? Who is this man? And then it was like that. Kindergarten cop, no. He is not like a junior at all. Jingle all the way, why? There's an early Arnold role where he plays like a bodybuilder and this woman like says, show me some poses.

And so he takes off a shirt and starts posing and she starts laughing. He's like, no, why are you laughing? You told me to show you. And then he like totally Lenny kills her and then just runs out of the room. And that's a documentary. That's absolutely a documentary. Like he could not act at that time. That was just something that happened while the cameras were on.

They're like, God damn, I guess we'll have to put this in the movie or call this woman's parents. Right. And it's, it's not like a revelation that everybody came to later because not quite, but almost his introduction to American audiences is the movie we're going to watch and talk about on this podcast, which is Pumping Iron, a 1977 documentary about professional bodybuilding. I'm going to say just straight up starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yeah, he really took that. He took that one. But like this is how we know, man. I know you're listening. You're a co-star. You get to be a co-star, but fucking Arnold just dominated that movie. Okay. This is a documentary.

I did not know that. It's a documentary and it's, it's 77. So this is like almost as early as anybody would have heard of Arnold. We saw him doing and behaving like this. So it was not news that like this guy was just a lunatic. And at this point, Lydia has not seen it. So we were just getting her high level thoughts as somebody that only knows Arnold as, as a friendly old man.

Yeah. Well, and a governor. Like the nice action man. For most of my life, he was a Republican, right? Governor. And now he's like abandoning the Republican party, at least as we know it, because they're gone and saying, and he's wants to, you know, help young people. And he rides around on his bike and gives advice.

He's a very different Arnold. Yeah. He's a guy who like keeps a little pony and a donkey in his house and lets them come in and eat food off his plate. Like that's what he does on Instagram. He's adorable. Yeah. So cute.

And I just want, I just want that to be Lydia's take. That is what Lydia thinks of Arnold Schwarzenegger right now. So the next time she speaks, it's going to be a jump cut to after she's seen pumping iron. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the devil. I can't believe like if he's this bad on camera, like what he must be like off camera, because this is like someone said, watch me be the worst person on earth. Yeah.

He was, he was the muscle devil throughout like the seventies and eighties. He was just a beast and like nobody could stand against him. And he knew that and just kind of rampaged over everyone and everything. And this is how, this is how we came by him. This was like the warning. They made a documentary about how he's the devil. And we were like, I love it. See, I have a different take on it.

I have always been of the school of thought that if you are the best in the world and that's sort of undisputed, you're allowed to sort of have an out of control ego, because if you're not allowed to, who would like Michael Jordan often gets talked about, like what a maniac, what an ego and Arnold Schwarzenegger. But like they're both the best at their thing. Like if somebody has to have an ego, it might as well be the best guy is my point. So I forgive him a little bit just because he is the best at right. Michael was like, was one part of the problem.

Yeah. That's the part I forgive. Weird too. He's not just like a creep. He's like genuinely really weird. Yeah. He's like sociopathic. He's manipulative.

He's needlessly cruel. Super proud of all of that. And knows all of that is entirely aware of all of that. Like if you told him, I believe it several times in this and pumping iron people sit him down or like, you're the worst. And he's like, haha. It's true. Hey, Lou Ferrigno, I'm going to have sex with your sister and your mother.

Thanks for playing that actual audio clip from the movie Rockway. You're welcome. Lou Ferrigno is in an episode of toddlers and tiaras. I feel like like he's over here being 24 years old living with his daddy and his daddy is so prominent in like his, he doesn't talk. I think Lou Ferrigno says like three things. It's mostly his dad talking to him for the whole thing. And he's so cute.

And then Arnold, like it seems like Arnold set up to be the villain of this movie. And I was like, well, I don't, I didn't know what happened. I was waiting for him to be like defeated, you know. Well, hold on. We're jumping all the way to the end of the movie. And we have not even explained to listeners what this movie is about. Oh, that pumping iron. We mentioned vague terms, but it's about the Mr. Olympia competition of I think 1975.

Yeah. Which at this point, Arnold Schwarzenegger had won six times in a row. Maybe five times in a row. And this is his sixth, but he was five times in a row. Whatever it doesn't matter. He was like the top of his game. Everybody that went to any one of these things. And there were a surprising amount of people that go to these things, I guess.

He was God and everybody knew all the other bodybuilders knew it. He could do no wrong. And they introduced him at the start, just already famous, very first scenes. He's clearly the villain. And the underdog here is Lou Ferrigno. This is also where Lou. This movie gave us Schwarzenegger and Lou Ferrigno. This is where they both came from.

And Lou Ferrigno is the underdog here, the most, the underest dog that you could get in this in this suicide competition. Yeah. But Jason, if Jason was here, he would explain who Lou Ferrigno is for the listeners. So Lydia, as our guest, we'll put you in charge of that. Yeah. Lou Ferrigno played the Incredible Hulk post transformation in a time before we had CGI to do that. We just cast a really big guy.

And that guy was Lou Ferrigno. That's what he's most famous for. I would argue that was the best idea, too. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. Just looks like a fucking maniac. He looks like a muscle-bound freak maniac. That's the best special effects I've ever seen is Lou Ferrigno just being himself, but like spray-painted green. Especially like when he was older in this, he's so young.

And you can tell like he just seems kind of like a kid and Arnold is so mean to him the entire time. Arnold's only a few years older than him in this. Really? They're both in their 20s. I think Lou Ferrigno is like 23, 24 here and Arnold is like a little bit later 20s. But intellectually and like confidence level, it's night and day. He is like a child to me. I'm like his daddy. Everything you need to know about this dynamic and it takes us right back to the start of this movie,

the credit sequence rolls and it says starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and featuring Lou Ferrigno. If you were wondering how this movie turns out, write the credits. It gives the game away. You're a future player in Arnold's story. It opens with them doing ballet. They're training in ballet, not Lou and Arnold, but Arnold and Franco. Franco. Who is the...

I'm gonna call him Little Buddy because he calls him Little Buddy. Little Buddy. He makes, he uses every opportunity to call him Little and it's great. Yes. He is a very small guy like vertically. Yeah. I did not realize that Arnold, I thought Arnold was much bigger than he is, but they say here, he's 6'2 and 240 pounds.

Right. And like, I'm a little over 6'1 and at my heaviest, I was 240. So as long as there are no follow-up questions, I was built like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Very nice. Oh my gosh. Wow. There's a surprise ambush Brockway fact. It also says it's based on a book.

It's a very opening up in the movie. You're like, oh, how intellectual. It's ballet and it's based on a book. This is going to be quite a surreal film. And he's already kicking ass at ballet. Like, he's just out gracing the shit out of his little buddy. 100%. Oh my God.

It's an expository theme song too. Oh, I love that theme song. I was like, this is genuinely good. We're going to have, you're going to have to indulge me and we're going to have to just go through some lyrics of the pumping iron theme song. Oh yes, please. Everybody wants to be a hero. Every man wants to be bigger than dad.

It's very, it's very hard to understand. No, thank you. Those are the lyrics. Everybody wants to be a hero. Every man wants to be bigger than dad. It's very hard to understand. Yep. Everybody wants to be bigger than Venus.

I just want to be bigger than dad's penis. Pumping up, pumping iron, pumping up. It really feels like flying coming up just like a lion pumping up, pumping iron. You start to, there's a famous quote that I'm sure we will get to in a minute, but you start to get where that comes from after that little chorus there. Yeah, I was going to say, we know it doesn't feel like flying because it's very graphically described what it feels like to us in this movie at exactly 10 minutes in because I ran away from the computer when that happened and noted the time code.

And then I'm not going to go through all the lyrics, but the rest of the lyrics are like weirdly about how you can live forever, but also like you're not going to live forever. Everybody wants eternity. Don't believe in it. Don't believe in wing. Not everybody gets wings. I'm not going to live much longer, but I'm going to get strong. It's like wrestling with your own mortality and also being stronger than dad.

It really lays it bare like all of the psychological issues present in extreme body morphing. It is a very naked song. I guess it's how you describe that. Like you hear that and you're like, I know exactly what that that guy's issues are, what his feelings are. And what all of these guys issues are. So it leads out of that song. We go straight to the gym, Arnold's gym, which is Gold's gym in on Venice Beach.

I don't know, California somewhere. And every single person in that gym is a muscle freak. Every single person. There's no sad guy on a treadmill just doing his best somewhere. Did you catch Arnold's nickname for everybody? It was big. Big Tony, big Mike. They're all big Arnold.

This doesn't work. Hello, big something. It looks crazy though is this is America and that's the word we have the most synonyms for like huge. God catch you and Mike. Monster Billy, you are the best. Enormous guy. I love enormous guy. And his little buddy, his little buddy, he calls every guy that's shorter than him little.

And yeah, but he really is so small. He runs up and jumps into his arms and they're both just delighted at how small this man is. And it's such a like. Wonderful opening. You're like Arnold is so beloved and these are they're like crazy muscle freaks. They're trains of meat and they're going to destroy everything, but they don't mean to. They're all good people and they're all in this. And it just, it sets you up to not be prepared for how villainous this all turns.

Yeah. I think it's a love story. It's a love story between flesh. Between flesh and flesh and for flesh. How dare you? How dare you call this a love story? Well, hey, it is a love story because now we get the famous pump quote, which I'm assuming Sean has word for word. In front of him.

I took some notes. I like to freestyle this. I remember I did this quote when we were doing the. I have the exact quote if you want it. Fantastic. Well, I think Sean hasn't memorized because he, yeah, he did it during the Conan podcast. He did some. And I just thought he was ad-libbing and then you had to stop the podcast and say Lydia doesn't know what that is.

All right. It posted it in our Slack if you want the exact one or you can, you can riff it and then I'll just read the exact one. No, I'll recite the. And then Lydia can read the exact one too so that everybody has to do it. Actually, if you would just hit play and play the audio clip, the authentic actual audio clip now. The greatest feeling you can get in the gym or the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps, blood is rushing into your muscles. That's what we call the pump.

Your muscles get a really tight feeling like your skin is going to explode any minute. That's really tight. And it's like someone is blowing air into your muscle and it just blows up and it feels different. Feels fantastic. So satisfying to me is coming, you know, as in having sex with a woman and coming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like getting the feeling of coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home.

I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pop up, when I pause out in front of 5,000 people. I get the same feeling. So I'm coming off day and night. It's terrific, right? You know, I'm in heaven. All right. That's the end of that clip. Yeah.

That's how we are introduced basically to the character of Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is how America was introduced to Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was the start of this movie, the first like interview with him. He says that shit and we did not arrest him. Yeah. That's got to be the worst thing anyone's ever said in the history of Thai, right? It's up there. It's really bad.

It puts me off of the pump for at least a couple of days. Yeah. I will never, even just the word, I will never be able to use like a bike pump without just shuddering and backing away a little bit. I wanted to say that it's not the very first impression we get. He does talk a little bit about weightlifting and he's helping others with weightlifting. And you get the idea, the first impression is this guy's fucking stupid. But then you start to realize that all he knows is weightlifting.

And he knows so much about weightlifting and it like, it really betrays his intellect. Like I think Arnold Schwarzenegger is kind of a smart guy. It's just at this point in his life, he only knew one thing and it's just this esoteric weird thing that like hardly anyone can relate to. But he knows as much about it as you can. And one of the reasons he is so good is he just knows this much. He's just like a really smart guy in addition to being, you know, massive. And at no point in this movie, he made insane assertions about his abilities

and what he's going to do and how he's going to manipulate people. And at no point in this movie was he ever wrong. Right. Everything went exactly like he said. He was the brilliant evil mastermind of this movie. But again, he said a few things about weightlifting. This was it like the 10 minute mark. I'm still saying like, we should have known 10 minutes into Arnold Schwarzenegger's

career that we should never trust this man with anything. Yeah. Who looks at that guy and is like, you know what I need to give this guy? More power. We should make him like a governor or an A-list movie star. However, what you do understand completely, I'm not going to jump ahead to the section, but there are several sections in this movie where you do understand completely why they cast him as an evil unstoppable robot.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. But next, after the gym, we go to a fucking prison. We go to a prison. That was weird. Why was that? They send muscle men to co-ed.

We had like co-ed maximum security prisons, I guess, and we just sent muscle men to them to be looked at. He's not in a show. It's just Arnold like on a little bit of a raised diast showing the muscles and the prisoners are clapped. What the fuck is that? I have a lot of notes on this and a lot of thoughts. Yeah, go.

I was expecting this to be... Obviously, it's a movie about nude men who are oiled up and very ripped. And have father issues from the theme song point forward. Yes. I was expecting sort of like a homoerotic thing. Like I really thought this would be like a bigger movie in the gay community. I don't think it is. And in addition to that, I think that the filmmakers are trying to make it that.

Like they kept zooming in on weird like veiny parts of the body that are just sort of like artistic representations of lumpy flesh, right? It felt like the cameraman had a boner for most of this, but the movie itself has like no sexuality. And so here he is in this prison and you're like, okay, here come the gay jokes. And immediately it happens. And they're immediately diffused by like just a weird acceptance. Like, I guess, like he tries to kiss a woman who one of the female prisoners is like,

oh, she doesn't know. Who knows when she got kissed last? Yeah. She doesn't look at her. She hasn't been kissed in years, maybe. The rudest thing I've ever seen. Really hurt her feelings. Really devastated this woman.

And then some dude in the back says, hey, how about a kiss for me? And Arnold just like immediately with all of his wit is like, I thought there was guys like you in the prison. And the guy's like, yeah, a couple. Yeah, we don't think much of it, buddy. I actually wanted a kiss, man. I mean, come on. And then Arnold like joins kind of joins in that spirit of like, oh yeah, everybody's

cool with that. Come get your kiss then. And like everyone's just kind of having a fun time with it. I'm like, this could have gotten so ugly and it didn't. And I was like, strange. It's strange to me that all of the homoeroticism is just diffused instantly in every situation where it becomes relevant. Yeah, this wasn't a condemnation of me.

It was a celebration of meat. Celebration of meat. I wasn't here to condemn the meat. They cut the two prisoners, looking at Arnold Switzen here, literally saying, yeah, guys, body's real beautiful. Yeah. There's such a culture. Or gay.

Just matter of fact. Because there was such a culture I was never aware of. And whenever they cut to these shows, I guess that they put on, I would assume like any pageantry that it would be sparsely populated by masturbating lunatics. Yeah. But like any pageantry, dog to child, it doesn't matter. But every time they cut to him, it's standing remotely. It's completely packed with people from all walks of life just fucking losing their shit.

They're just screaming. They're applauding like he would strike a pose and people would like stand up and applaud. This world exists and it's real emotion. Yeah, like I wasn't alive back then. So I'm assuming that there was just nothing else going on except for like going down to the local gym and watching a guy like blow up a water bottle. And they have to tell you that like that's an accomplishment that's really hard what he's doing. And then you're like, yeah.

And you're like, oh my God, you stand up and you scream, you throw your clothes on the floor and burn them. So you didn't think that was amazing, Lydia? He blew up a hot water bottle. Until it exploded. Until it exploded. I don't have any context for what a hot water bottle is. I don't know what that is. They said it was impressive and I was like, great, I guess it's impressive then.

Although honestly, like I'm in such poor health that if it was just a balloon and he popped it with his lungs, I would have been like, I would have been burning my clothes, throwing them at him. I don't know. Congratulations. Like, I don't know. I don't know what to do with that. Yeah, I don't know what the milestone is for that one. Before we get to the actual Arnold versus Lou story, which is the core of this movie,

we open on like such a weird move to open on like a title, like a pre-title fight between two other bodybuilders. Although I get why they did it because it's same energy. It's between one of the bigs from Gold's Gym, Arnold's Gold's Gym. Big Mike, who is a junior high school teacher. I'm going to say in his 40s, he has a coma first. I think this guy was 31, which I was surprised by. I'm not.

Yeah. I was saying he was in his 40s and it's because he has like the worst comb over, but then they flash back to like a picture of him in high school and he still had that comb over. So I think that's just how he is. He sort of had the wispy hair of Hulk Hogan coming out of like nine different sources, each of them like one inch long sort of overlapping in strange directions. Yeah, he did have very sick Hogan.

Yeah. Kind of. And that's the energy he brought too. It's just very sad. Like his muscles were sapping the life out of him. Yes. If young Hulk Hogan with a full head of hair, no, half a head of hair came stumbling out of a radioactive cave and he was like suffering from the early onset of radiation poisoning.

That's what this guy looks like. I call them Gary Busey Hulk in my notes. I think it's just because we had that guy in Megan Watson Millionaire called Tom Jane Frankenstein. Otherwise I would have called him Gary Busey Frankenstein. And he is versus Ken Waller, who is just Arnold Junior. He's very ginger. He's very ginger, but just of course everybody here is ripped.

I mean, we don't need to keep specifying that, but he's also like cruel and manipulative like Arnold and like the directors know this and want to play it up. So every time he's shown when he's not like giving an interview, he's in the background and they do like a hard zoom and play some sinister sting like he's fucking snidely whiplash just back there scheming. Well, they cut to like Big Mike and he's hanging out with his kids being like, Daddy has a big muscle haunt. You're going to get fucking destroyed.

And he like outwardly plots to steal that guy's stuff. What was his name? Big Mike to steal Big Mike's stuff just to like mess with him. Right. And the day of it's the competition that they're competing in to get to go to Mr. Olympia to compete against Arnold and all of that. And he steals like his t-shirt so that he doesn't have any clothes to put on in between or afterwards.

And so what Mike does to prepare is just he's Big Mike is just lumbering around going, anybody see my t-shirt? And you guys see my t-shirt while Ken Waller is up just practicing and flexing like it's the simplest move and it's utter, it worked completely. It's utter psychological devastation to take this man's t-shirt. It destroyed him. Well, if some guy was like, yeah, Ken Waller stole your t-shirt. And he's just like, oh, Ken stole it.

Okay. In his interview, Big Mike says, this says everything about him to me. In his interview, Big Mike says, I am the type of person. Well, there are two types of dogs. That's in my notes too. There's a dog where if you kick a dog enough, it'll either die or a little bit, it'll get back in a corner and it'll bite you. And I'm the type of person who is the type of dog that doesn't give up.

That poor man tried to compete in like a battle of wits against fucking flexing villainy, pure flexing villainy. I had that. I love that because I'm the type of guy who's the type of dog was just like, what a turn of phrase. What a genius. I'm the type of person who is the type of dog that doesn't give up on YouTube. So just big, big himbo energy.

Nine layers of abstraction to get to the most easy thing to say. I don't give up, but no, no, no. I'm like a guy on a bridge catching a fish and inside that fish is a tiny bacteria. And that bacteria is not going to fucking give up. So I'm the type of guy who's the type of bridge, the type of fisherman is the type of fish, is the type of bacteria. You understand? I'd like to try stuff.

I've said enough words that now you think I am smart, right? I also like to cook. I think that's just him finding his thought. Like it takes a long time for him to find a thought, which is why stealing his T-shirt was it. That was it. That was his big glowing weak point. You take his T-shirt and the rest of him crumbles. When Stamson's hair cut, it just ruined him.

His hair has already been taken. That's why he's like this. So woman tricked him out of the top of his hair. I think when you're that buff, you need to cut it with a lawnmower and it's really hard to get a nice layered cut. And he's such a nice guy and he loses completely. He gets fourth. He didn't even podium. Well, Ken Waller wins and this movie is such a celebration of villainy.

Sorry to interrupt. He got fourth, but it's not like fourth in fourth place is Mike. It's like they announced the first three and then as everyone's walking off the stage, you're like, oh yeah, by the way, he got fourth. Which is so much worse. It's so much worse. Just don't say anything. Like K.S.

You almost got in the placements. If you want it a little bit more, if you've been a little more the kind of dog that flexes a little harder. This movie is such a celebration of villainy. And I would argue that it wants. I think that's its thesis statement that everybody that's nice and has a life outside of bodybuilding isn't bringing enough to bodybuilding to make it. I think that's the movie's thesis statement because they don't follow Ken. They know Ken's going to win.

They're in the pits with Mike and focusing on how bad he's losing as they announce upstairs on the distance that his enemy that took his shirt just won. And then they stay with him for the entire interview while his big dumb brain tries to process a thought. And he's just like, oh, he won, huh? Oh, that's good. That's nice. Good. He's going to take his hand.

And at some point he says that must feel good for him. I bet that feels really great for him to win. And then he flashes back. He's like, it must feel like when I won something, when I was 16, it's just fucking. He literally went cross-eyed when he thought about that. It's just watching like a big walrus or something. Just some kind of large fat beast die and it takes a long time. It's so sad and you can't do anything about it.

And they stay with him that whole time. And then he goes up to like shake his hand, but then he doesn't realize that everybody else is shaking his hand. So he just kind of stands in the back. Oh my God. Have you ever seen an orangutan watch a magic trick? It's like that. Have you ever seen an orangutan drown in a swamp? It's like that.

You're right. That's what it is. Well, while you show him magic instead of helping. He's the type of guy who's the type of orangutan who drowns in a swamp. Here in my notes now, I made a note that it cuts to a picture of Arnold with his dad when Arnold's a very young child. And Arnold's dad was a cop with a Hitler mustache in Austria. Oh, I did not notice that. Yeah, that's something.

And then the voiceover is him talking about how much he admires dictators. Literally admires dictators because of the lasting legacy they leave on the earth. Over pictures of his family, the things that he says is he really admires dictators and people like Jesus. Same breath. I admire dictators and people like Jesus because they'll be remembered. That's all he's focused on. He sees no difference between Hitler and Jesus because you remember both of them, baby. Yeah, I know about this guy.

It's just such like blatant naked villainy. He's such a maniac to fucking say that shit. Yeah, this movie is like a training video for making people into jerks. Like if you have a kid and you're like, this kid's way too nice, I need it to be a jerk. This is the movie that you show it with the moral of jerks always win, be more of a jerk. It should also be noted that everybody from Lou to Arnold, everybody, their dad got them. It's just like their dad got them into bodybuilding. It's just like other pageantry.

It's always the parents in the background, even if they're dead, even if they're not there. It's the parents that like, well, the theme song said it all really. This is all about daddy. This is all about dad. So hopefully it gave him the pumping and coming speech. I really like Luzedad though. Oh yeah, he was great. He was so...

See, I thought Luzedad sucked. We'll get to that. Okay. We'll get to that. So now we're into the main event. We've been prepped with just unbelievable heartbreaking sadness to get into the more heartbreaking sadness that we'll surely follow as Arnold and Lou Ferrigno prepare and go to the 1975 Mr. Mutant competition in South Africa.

And we cut to Arnold with this interview. They had the other... It was like pre-torial South Africa. I remember they used to have like a different name. Oh, I didn't even note that because I don't... I'm focused on the muscles, on the beauty and the horror of these men's bodies. The beautiful horror. Yeah.

So that's how Arnold... Arnold's section, of course, starts with his dad being... It's a little Hitler mustache and talking about dictators. While Luzedad's section opens with his dad, his weird dad, being like, I dreamed of Arnold Schwarzenegger last night. Like, it's a crazy thing to say to your kid. And he's like, I dreamed he was Luzing basically. I dreamed it.

He said you knew you were coming for him. And nobody knows what to say to that. And that's like... That's Luzedad throughout the movie as he just says, Wild Shit. Yes. And nobody knows how to deal with it. And he thinks it's wisdom and it's just completely sabotaging Lou Ferrigno,

who is a gentle and shy man who barely speaks and obviously loves and thinks the world of his dad. And he's trying to take his father's advice that is all completely insane. Here's the thing about that, is Lou Ferrigno is mostly deaf. And he's watching his dad's lips and trying to read lips. So his dad gives these long, rambling, inspirational speeches that just keep repeating the same nonsense over and over. And I think Lou's just kind of picking up some of it

and getting the inspiration from it. So if you take the words of what Lou Ferrigno's dad says, it's not much, but he's there for him and he's telling him a lot of nice things. And I'm sure Lou is putting that together into some sort of a, you know, orangutan swamp of joy or inspiration. I did like it. And we all know what happens to swamp orangutans here. Yes.

I liked one of the things he said he was talking about when Lou Ferrigno was a kid and how he just like really got into bodybuilding and how he'd go to the thrift store and buy muscle books. He's like two or three in the morning. I'd find him up reading the muscle books. I was like, huh, so fucking weird. He was like, if my kid were really into bodybuilding and I found him reading bodybuilding magazines at two or three in the morning,

I wouldn't, that's not the road. I would assume a different thing. I would give him a different talk, but Lou's dad gave him this talk and this is what happened to Lou. At one point, at one point during that pep talk, he says, this is it, Lou. This is for the big baby, Lou. They've never seen nothing like it, Lou. This is for the big baby?

That's like, you can't say that kind of shit to just a simple humble Lou Ferrigno. Okay, dad. I'll take a fried baby. I'll do it for the big baby. And poor Lou Ferrigno is the most underdog any dog has ever under. We cut to him with his huge nerd glasses and his tucked-in shirt, living with his parents, saying nothing. He goes to his gym, which is just a hole in the wall

and it's the total opposite of Arnold's gym and you get what they're going forward. This guy's real and Arnold's there in Hollywood with a lot of support team. And unlike the Gold's gym pan, we do see that there's just a chubby guy there doing his best. And we do what I would say is a very cruel long zoom until this random like just kind of chubby dude with like five-pound barbells going, what are you doing?

That fucking cameraman knew what he was doing. Yeah, he knew what he was doing, like zooming past Lou Ferrigno today. That's the fucking bully of the movie is that cameraman. That cameraman, so mean. Like how awkward do you think it was for that guy watching Lou Ferrigno work out as his dad just stands there and is like, 10 more, Lou. You look like you cut out a mob, Lou. Well, Lou Ferrigno screams Arnold after every rep.

Oh, my God. It's so insane. This fucking Buffalo Bill, fuck you, become you thing. Arnold, Arnold, just. You got great arms, Lou. Arnold's got spaghetti arms. You got he arms away better than his arms. Spaghetti arms.

And then we hard cut from that to Arnold in California, just napping in a big pile with all of his big boys. Yeah. What is this big pile? They're like, they're in a park somewhere and they're all just napping together in a loose pile and unbothered and they're just lazily talking about stuff. And he's somebody asked if he's, if he's worried about Lou, if he has anything to say and Arnold's just like, tell him hi.

He's drowning in women. He's doing fashion shoots. Like you, the movie sets everything up to be like, Lou Ferrigno is coming for you from the streets. You know, he's from the streets. He's humbling. He wants it. Everybody's talking to Arnold about how he's the dog on top of the mountain,

but the dog on the bottom of the hill is hungry and Arnold's like, yeah, but the dog on top of the mountain gets to eat whenever he wants. And again, Arnold's not wrong about any of this. Every little thing he says that dismisses the inspirational story is completely true. It's like if there was a rom-com or the boyfriend who's always working and too busy for the, for the girl, like at the end, it's just like, and he was right. He should have kept working because she really wanted to be with a guy who had a good job.

Yeah. So they were on the same path. Well, just end this movie and act two. That's it. Wrap up nice and nice and 40 minutes in. We also get when Lou was lifting, there was a moment where he was going, ah, no more, no more, no more. Then he does a couple more and I just loved that.

That was so inspiring to me that I actually went and got my wife's little weights and I was like, I got to get like a fucking medium pump on. So I was like taking notes with one hand while I was getting a pump on with the other just because I was starting to feel like an asshole watching these guys lift all these weights while I was doing nothing. I was like, come on. I had the opposite response. I had this little 25 pound Peloton weight.

Why not? I was snuggled into a big fuzzy blanket, a discontinued blanket that will never be, nobody will ever be that cozy again. Well, I took little notes in my journal. It's covered in small snoring dogs. I was literally baking chocolate chip cookies because I was stirring. That's the opposite. That's the opposite.

But stirring is really good for your arms. So I was in a way pumping your mouth. We're all getting the pump on. Yeah. I hate it. I hate saying it. We were going to want to cut this, but we were not coming. We know what you're saying when you're talking about pumping.

We cut from here from the big boy pile to get a little color on Franco Arnold special little man. Charming, charming little monster. It's a tiny little intern of bodybuilding. And I just, I came up. I kept trying to describe Franco's village because we cut back to, he's Italian. We cut back to his Italian village. And I can't do it without being racist.

It's the most, I'll just say there was a fucking accordion player in town square. I didn't know this existed. I kind of don't believe you that that exists, but that's where he lives. And he gets his pump on by lifting cars in and out of parking spaces. Yeah, I thought he was another candidate. I was like, maybe he'll be the underdog that actually beats his little buddy will like beat Arnold. He's like this scrappy guy who exercises by lifting up tiny Italian cars. Right.

Everybody's getting their like underdog coming for you montage. And Arnold's getting like photo shoots with supermodels on his shoulders. And he's just laughing it up. And like, then you know what they're setting you up for and you expect a turn. It's just, there's no turns in this movie. Cause they showed Franco like, he wasn't just like this big muscle bound dude. He seemed really flexible and he was doing like sit ups with his feet hanging on the pull up bar.

And then he just like reached up and like pulled, you know, like touched his toes super easily. And I'm like, that sounds really flexible. He's hitting the heavy bag. And I was like, oh, he could box. And I'm like, this guy is dangerous. I mean, he was, again, I'm not a bodybuilder judge. I don't know the criteria exactly. But I did seven semesters of figure drawing and Franco had more definition.

If you're drawing a human anatomy, Franco is the guy you look at rather than Arnold. Yeah. He looks skinless. He looks totally skinless. It's what happens if you skin a person. But he's four foot too. So it's, so it's like you look at him. Yes.

He's Arnold's man baby. Arnold just carries him around in a baby Bjorn. He just carries him around the promenade and shows him to people. And he's, there's a scene in like an interview where Arnold is talking about just how he gives bad advice to other bodybuilders to sabotage them. There's a few things like that. The Munich one, the Germany one. No, no, no.

This is before this is still during like Franco's segment and it's kind of relating back to Franco and Arnold is talking about like, if there's a man who's as good as me or maybe a few percent better, I book a room with him and we spend the night together. And that night he will never forget. And then there's a long pause as he appreciates like, it sounds like I'm threatening him with my dick. It sounds like a dick threat. And then he goes, I will mix him up.

I give him bad advice. Right. Yeah. I thought I was going to get him really drunk. Is he going to make love to him and like shake him to the core as he falls in love with Arnold? But no, it's like, he's just going to give him bad advice all night. Yeah.

And then the interview ties, the interviewer ties it together. He says, you couldn't pull this with Franco. He's too smart. And then you went home. We're like, plus he's your little buddy. Like he's your, he's your fun little buddy. He's like a little mini. Yeah.

Yeah. And Arnold, you think he's going to say something nice to set up to say something nice. Like he's too smart. And Arnold says, he's pretty smart, but Franco was a child. And when it comes to the contest, I'm his father. He comes to me for advices. So it's not that hard for me to give him the wrong advices. I had that in my notes too.

It's very. Oh, you want to, I'm sorry. We can just cut my entire section while you read that exact quote back. It's, it's not that hard for me to give him the wrong advices. We just, we just subbed it. So like his villain turn is so complete that you've, you're immediately like every relationship, even his little sidekick that he takes everywhere in a tiny backpack built just for him. He's just going to betray him at, at a second, like automatic, automatic response.

I will betray him. You know, I thought that was about Lou. I must have like spaced out. I didn't realize he was talking about Franco. So I realized that none of his relationships were real. He, the guys that he hangs out with are all just guys that he is hoping to intimidate for the competition later. But he's so friendly like life of the party popular guy and everybody loves him, but he's betraying everyone at all times. He's such a good villain, completely charismatic.

Yeah. There's a moment I really liked here where Lou Ferrigno was doing like a photo shoot in South Africa and they brought him a cheetah. Oh yeah. They brought him the angriest cheetah by its flesh. They just, it's just a guy without a leash, just grabbing extra cheetah and calling it up. And it loved Lou. It gave him a little kiss that like licked his legs and I was like, well, he's like snow white. This guy's, oh, I'm going to hate watching this guy lose.

Because you know, he wanted to pet it and they had to be like, don't pet it. Like he reached down to pet it and somebody went like, and he had to pull his hand back because he was going to just pet this cheetah. Because it gave him a little lick. Yeah. Okay. We're friends. He should have wanted to pet it too. It gave him a little kiss. He should have been allowed to pet it.

I'm mad. None of this should have happened. None of this should have happened to Lou Ferrigno in a just universe. Okay. Here's where they interview Arnold and he's again talking about how his bad advice move works. And you know what? I'm going to learn from my mistakes. I'm like, I don't know.

Lou Ferrigno and every other bodybuilder here by trusting Arnold Schwarzenegger and say, Sean, do you have this down in your notes, the story about the bad advice in Munich? I just made note of it. I didn't like transcribe it. Okay. If you have it, please. No, you can just give us the gist. Well, what happened was he met some guy who was like, hey Arnold, I'm super buff and my posing rules. Do you have any hot tips for me to like take it to the next level?

And Arnold like made him undress and immediately judged this guy to be both bad at posing and totally not buff enough to be a bodybuilder. And so he told the guy that he had to scream every time he posed. He's like, yeah, it's a new thing. Everyone over here on the West Coast, they do the screaming when they do the pose. So when your arms are high, you scream really high. When your arms are low, you scream really low. And by his own admission, he spent fucking two hours on this prank. Like a whole afternoon, he devoted just to fucking with this guy and the guy did it.

So he went to some bodybuilding competition and started shrieking at the top of his lungs and they kicked him out. Like pulled him from the stage and rude him to the premises. And so there's a mentally ill man out there who's kind of buff, who wants to kill Arnold Schwarzenegger. And the world has been destroyed and he has vowed vengeance on Arnold Schwarzenegger. And rightfully so, he's got to have like a costume and a theme. And here's another thing in my notes I had at the same point in the movie. Franco is like laying down in the bed. And he looks like he's been like shot and paralyzed.

Like his arms are up in this weird way and he's in a tiny little white speedo. And again, just in a way that's a matter of fact, it's not like, like the camera man's clearly perving out on his body, but you're just looking at him like that's not a sex object. That's just like a majestic muscular man. Arnold comes and like stands over him. And in any other context, this would look like ancient lovers about to just fuck and go to town on each other. And he starts to sexily undress like Arnold does. And it looks like he's just going to climb into bed with him.

And then it just like cuts away. And that's when I made a note of like, there's just nothing gay about this movie. Like that should have, that should have been so erotic. And it was just like, hey, you're naked in the bed, huh? Hey, I'll join you. Good buddy. And yeah, and that's it. That's the end.

That's it. They just showed that. Because whatever vibe they were going for did not translate into the finished product. Like I can tell what they were going for. Yeah. Why would it be a gay thing that we oil each other up and appreciate the way our dicks look to each other? Like it's just another muscle. Yeah.

I didn't think any of these, I wasn't like, ooh, these are like super, super hot guys or whatever. The only person I liked was Lou Frigno. And I realized it's probably because he like never talks. And probably if I ever sat and talked to him, I probably wouldn't like him either. Oh. In your face, Lou. Well, they cut to him having brunch with Arnold. And because I guess that's what you do.

You have brunch with your worst enemy on the day of the competition. Right. And Lou's dad says, they don't come nicer than you, Arnold. Arnold says, oh, I'm a nice guy. Says, ah, I wouldn't turn my back on you within 500 yards. And Arnold just fucking, he doesn't deny it. He just laughs and laughs and starts aggressively negging and undercutting Lou Frigno. Yeah.

Just saying like another month and you'd be ready, but not now. But then I would have another month too. So you'd never catch up. And poor Shilu just sits there and he has nothing to say. He's like, okay, Arnold, okay. He just takes all of it and his dad just sits there and lets him take all of it. And then they just sit there at this brunch that they invited Arnold to so that he can insult and belittle his opponent right before the match.

Like it's just, why would you do this? He even like subtly kept pretending like he didn't understand that Lou Frigno was deaf. Did you guys notice that? Like he would like say little, he wouldn't look at him when he talked, which like you have to do when people are deaf or hard of hearing. Like you have to look at them so they can read your lips. And he would purposely turn away from him for so much of that conversation. He stopped being subtle about it.

A few times he has moves like that he uses just to exploit that. We'll get to that in my notes. But this is one of the reasons where like Lou's dad sucks. I mean, even if he doesn't mean to suck, he's inviting Arnold Schwarzenegger over on the day of the competition to just insult his child and doing nothing about it. He's constantly saying just the craziest shit right at the last moment that Lou Frigno could possibly need it. Like right before Lou goes up on stage one time, he runs up and you think he's going

to give him some inspiring message or something. He goes, don't bend so far back. You get back wrinkles. Like that's what he hears before he goes on stage. Like you just undercut him. Just fucking right. That's like an Arnold move. That was an honest mistake.

But yeah, he really fucked up his son there. That was that was bad. That was he did as much damage as Arnold did right in that moment. Right. You're about to go on stage. You kind of look like shit. All right. Good luck out there.

He's just he's doing all of the same. He doesn't mean to. He's not, you know, manipulating his. He just he sucks and he's he's unaware of it. That is the moment where I wrote toddlers and tiaras in my notes. Like right before he goes on stage, he's like, no, no, no. No, no, no. You're doing a terrible job.

I was like, oh, it's the toddlers and tiaras. Yep. This is totally like all pageants are just parents screwing up their children and putting it on display. I mean, like, look at it. Look how good I did screw it up. My kid. He's a monster.

It's amazing. Give him a trophy for it. I did like this part when the competition began because they do a lot of pre-judging where guys go up before like the big night. And that's when the judges do most of the actual judging. So they have the guys flexing on the stage and they explain that like the judge is looking for symmetry proportion and like the size of the muscle groups.

And while the guys are flexing, Arnold and his friends are like just unironically admiring everybody, especially Franco. They're just this is where all the positivity of the movie was. It's all centered in this one moment where nobody that none of their opponents can hear them. And they're just like, oh, he's so beautiful. That's perfect. Look at his lines.

Oh, those deltoids. Oh my God. Yeah, he did seem to genuinely admire Franco. Again, like there's no lust to it. It's just like an objective. Bodies are meat. You have you have built beautiful meat, my friend. They tried hard though, because when Arnold starts doing his

pre-judging posing, like they play full porno music. It's like. Yeah, the movie wants it to happen, but it's just not happening. Yeah. But I think right around here is the true villain turn for Arnold. When he jumps into the interview about how he has to kill all human emotion. Yes. Oh my God.

Yes. For the entire time that he's competing and training to competing. Like he says, I have to cut my emotions off because a girl, well, she could have a negative effect on my workout. Like if my car gets stolen, it doesn't affect me. And you think he's going for like a zen thing. And then he illustrates the point with the story where he says, do you have this in your notes?

Should I just let you do the Arnold? Oh, I don't have it transcribed. I'm not going to do the impression. But I have this exact moment in my notes because it was really something. And my take was the same too, because it sort of felt like empty philosophy at first. You're like, okay, yeah, you shut off all your emotions. Okay. It's just like doing the zen thing.

Yeah. You're just, you know, you got to like keep all this other stuff out, all the negativity out. You're like, yeah, this is just shit people say, but Arnold really proved that he fucking lives by these words because I'll let you finish. Well, then he says, he gives this little zen speech. And then he says, to illustrate the point, my mother called me to say my father died, but it was two months before a contest.

She said, come home for the funeral. Two months. Two months. He needs two months of no emotions. And she said, come home for the funeral. And I said, no, he's already dead. There's nothing to be done. I didn't even explain why to her.

And this, and this caused conflict with my girlfriend, who was like, so you don't, you're not even upset. You're not even going to feel anything. That's the end of his story. It's just, I never explained to my mother even why I felt no emotion. And I did not see my father's funeral. I would say, mom, I'm not coming to the funeral. I need to flex.

Arnold like didn't even explain that. He's like, I'm not, I'm not coming mother. Because it was two months before a contest. That's so long. You can take a whole month to get your shit together. And this would be a monster story if it was the contest. And it was the day of the contest. You'd be like, Oh God, this guy's got such fucked priorities.

But this is him just like, I needed to go to the gym and do 50 curls. I can't miss two days to my father's funeral and not do 50 curls. That's, that's stupid. And again, he was completely right. He was absolutely right. And we looked at that man and said that this man who did not said quote, like I did not care when my father died. He needs more power.

That's what we should give to him. You know what? He screams, he screams jingle all the way. That speech, that speech word for word is going into jingle all the way. It should, that movie sucks. It's the most depressing Christmas movie. Speaking of depressing little Franco wins in the competition. Little Franco wins the little guy category.

I love, I thought they sped this up because they showed the under two, the under 200 pounders flexing and they were just like flex, flex, flex, flex. Like 11 of them in a row. And I was thought, they fucked with this tape. This is kind of funny looking. But maybe that's just how fast they move. I don't know. But, but yeah, they, they, this was news to me that they split them into like a little guy category

and then a big guy category, which is just everything is, everything Arnold said, addressing them all as little guys. And it's all, you know, right here in the competition rules. It's all correct. Little Franco wins. So he's, we're set up for him having to fight his muscle daddy and a little Franco. He's got to fight daddy with his big muscles. Show me as the big muscles.

And then so it's the big guy competition. And I'm just going to call it. I'm sure they have a term. I'm just going to call it the big guy competition. Mr. Big Guy. That's what it is. That's what it is. And they all have to hang out together in a cramped little green room right before the competition.

There's like 20 muscle bound freaks in an 800 square foot office. Such a bad idea. And I think this is where Lou lost the competition. This is because Arnold just goes fucking after him in his cramped room. And Arnold just has all of his opponents right there. And everybody's, you know, trying to train and everything. And Lou again, mostly deaf is making noise that maybe he's not aware of while he works out. And Arnold just jumps on him after each grown.

He goes, what did you say, Lou? What did you say? Yeah. What did you say, Lou? Until Lou says, I didn't say anything. I'm training. He goes, you, you're making too much noise. You have to be quiet in here.

This is like a church. And that is like the most you could fuck with a socially awkward deaf person is to tell them they're embarrassing themselves with noises. They don't know they're making or can't adjust fully. It's fully. He was just openly laughing at him with no indication of what he was laughing at several times. Yeah. Yeah. Just look at him and laugh and fucking sadistic.

And then he was like moving really close to him and working out right next to him and then telling Lou that he was too close to him and he needed to scoot back. Yeah. It was just, why would you do this? Why would you put them? This is like in Conan where they gave him a woman in a cage. Don't do that. Yeah. You know what he's going to do and just keep Arnold back.

Don't put Lou in the Arnold cage. This is not right. And yeah, this is like it culminates in a scene with Lou and Arnold across the room, just hard eye contact, lifting at each other. And Lou's trying to like play it off and Arnold's just has death in his eyes and they're both laughing. But Arnold is just like, I have destroyed you. You know this. Yeah. It's such classic bullying moves.

Every single intimate. But the competition, it comes down to the three. It's Lou Ferrigno, Serge, this last minute guy who gets nothing and we will not bother talking about him and Arnold. And they do all the judging and you know, it's kind of decided. And Arnold rushes up to Lou and whispers something in his ear that we don't hear and they never explain. So there's like muscle freak lost in translation moment here where he runs up at the critical moment and whispers something to Lou. You never know what it was. What the fuck?

It's, it would have been dark. I eat your mother's diaper. Oh, what, what does that mean? Just destroyed. Also, maybe he couldn't hear it. Like that would fuck with him too if he whispers something and he can't. I just, ah, he just went up to the bad ear and just went. And then smiled and walked off and left for a note.

It just, just destroy himself mentally. Yeah. That was kind of my guess was that he probably deliberately said something into his bad ear and then walked away because he, he tended to take advantage of that. He thought it was really funny to just be like, haha, you're deaf. That's the punchline of the joke. He thought his partial deafness was the most hilarious thing. Like how dare you put a man with any sort of defect in against me?

How dare you? Of course I will destroy him. And he does because again, everything the villain does is correct. It works completely. And Arnold wins and Lucerigno takes third. Doesn't even take second. Kind of wanders off sadly. And yeah, evil, evil wins.

And it comes to, it comes to this. It comes to little muscle son and big muscle dad posing off for the title. And that's nothing. You know, like, like Franco was like, you could, earlier Franco was like, yeah, like I'll probably win the little guy competition, but then I'll have to go against Arnold. And he's taller than me. And usually that counts for something. Yeah, he does.

He's got low confidence in his posing. He's the only one. Arnold just has this perfect routine that he's abandoned his dead family members to perfect and goes into it like just a machine. And Franco, like he hesitates a little bit. He says something to Arnold. He kind of just a little hard to flex. Yeah, he's real loose.

He's like kind of laughing about it. Like, hey, you want to do like, and Ronald's like, I am in this zone. I will destroy you with my series of perfect poses. Yeah. This is a vogue off and it is for your life and you will have already lost. It really does look like a father and a son who are super jacked in posing the other and have severe relationship issues. Yeah.

They are working out through poses. Whatever the criteria are for judging, you got to give it to Arnold. I mean, if you look at those two things and one of them is super majestic. And one of them is also majestic, but just much, much smaller. You're like, okay, that's. Yeah. Like the judges knew they said like the one and only the greatest when they announced who won.

Like, yeah, you knew who was winning. And such a power move. Arnold announces his retirement from bodybuilding as soon as he wins. He's on luffa rig. No, we cut to him. Never get any closure. You've just been destroyed on every level and you will never win. Ever.

Yeah. The end like that. That's not the end of the movie, but that's the end of the competition. That's how it ends because the actual end of the movie is that it turns out it's fucking Lou Ferrigno's birthday. It's fucking birthday. They sing a happy birthday to him. And God bless Lou.

God bless his just giant struggling heart. He sings along with his own birthday song. Arnold suggests that they sing happy birthday to him while he's sitting on the couch wearing a shirt that says Arnold is numero uno eating fried chicken, smoking a joint and drinking I believe a glass of water. He's like, hey, it's Lou's birthday. Why don't you think about the birthday? It's the saddest meanest fucking thing I've ever seen.

It's like that episode of Futurama where the dog just waits and doesn't enjoy his life except for right before the end, somebody came along and lit the dog on fire. That's how it ends. It's fucking Lou Ferrigno's birthday. You're leading out some of the tragedy. Like he's singing longer than his birthday song. He's doing the sign language sign for sing. That's what he was.

So he was just singing, sing, sing, sing while they were singing. And then when they said speech, speech, he goes, I don't have anything to say. I just want to eat my cake. And it's like, all right, it's kind of cute, but it's also just like, oh, Lou, you were you were not, you weren't ready for this. I have nothing to say. I just want my cake is one of his last lines in the movie. Certainly the first, the last full sentence he gets to speak.

And the movie ends with Lou and Arnold in the back of a bus just doing bus goofs, like playing around like best friends as Arnold invites himself over to Lou Ferrigno's house for dinner. So he can, in his words, bang your sister. Yes. The end. The end. Well, it does end with Arnold Schwarzenegger giving Lou Ferrigno a nickname. Do you remember what that was?

Was it big Lou? It was. They're all, they're all big except for the little guys. You got to specify. Oh man. Yeah. The villain with anyway, here's my theory. I think in this movie Arnold Schwarzenegger invented, if not all of reality television,

then certainly the dynamic of all of reality television 30 years before anybody even started it. He is the dynamic of the reality TV villain. He's manipulative. He's not here to make friends. He's all just little psychological barbs and snipes and death by a thousand cuts. And you hate him so much because he's, he's right. It all works out for him. And it's great.

And he wins. And evil wins every part of this movie. The end. The end. Yeah. It did have reality TV vibes at certain moments. Like I felt like the brunch between them had to have been set up by the producers. I don't know if they did that stuff back then, but I felt like.

This watches like proto reality TV. Like you're watching the downfall of scripted television here 30 years in advance with Arnold Schwarzenegger as the ultimate villain. And just I, if you're going to go on a reality TV show with the mind that I want to be the villain, you've got to watch pumping iron and just do pumping iron, do exactly all of it. And Megan wants a millionaire. Megan. Yeah.

And Megan wants to then watch Megan wants a millionaire to learn exactly how this can go wrong. The one, the one downside to this is that if you surround yourself with murderers, one of them is going to murder. So, uh, if pumping is coming, what, what do you think Arnold thinks of coming? I mean, also great. I believe he's, he's coming all the time. So.

I bet he thinks of it as like watching Lucorigno cry. Oh, you make me feel like watching Lucorigno cry. And then a woman would take that as the highest compliment from Arnold Schwarzenegger. I just really wanted to get Lydia to say part of that quote. I was been trying to start the podcast. I finally did it. Pumping is coming. Pumping is coming.

Pumping is coming. I'm fine with it. I would read the whole thing if you really wanted me to do it. It's in the slack. That would be really nice. It's in the slack. Do it. Okay.

Should I do the Arnold voice? I don't know if it'll be legible. Yes. Okay. The greatest feeling you can get in the gym is the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps. Blood is rushing into your muscles.

And that's what we call the pump. Your muscles get a really tight feeling like your skin is going to explode any minute. And it's really tight. And it's like someone is, I don't know if I can get through it. Okay. Like someone is blowing air into your muscles and it just blows up and it feels different. It feels fantastic. It's as satisfying as coming is, you know, as in having sex with a woman and coming.

So you can believe how much I am in heaven. I am like getting the feeling of coming at the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at all. I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage. When I pump up, when I post out in front of 5000 people, I get the same feeling. So I am coming day and night. It's terrific. Right?

You know what I mean? I am in heaven. 1,900 Frankfurt. 1,900 Frankfurt. It's a broadcast coming out. And with Maximalim Chow. It's a Frankfurt broadcast. Correct.

Correct. Yeah. The power is not trapped. It's not without. Send it to the dogs. Four or an hour. Come on. You can do it.

1,900. 1,900 Frankfurt. 1,900 Frankfurt. I'm so new and new, yeah. I'm so new and new, yeah. 1,900 Frankfurt. I'm so new and new, yeah. 1,900 Frankfurt.

I'm so new and new, yeah. 1,900 Frankfurt. I'm so new and new, yeah. 1,900 Frankfurt. I'm so new and new, yeah. Yeah. Noi 1000. Gather round the heart, younglings.

To hear tell of the brave adventurers. Who risked everything to cast The all powerful ring of Evil King Dormair Into the fires of Mount Hot Dog. These were the Supremes. Neofaunt, who betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. Freefinger Louis. Aaron Crossden.

Adrian H. Aidan Moat, whose mind was swayed To betray the party for Dormair's ring. Alpha scientist John. Armando Nullar. Benjamin Sirani. Bim Tulser, who betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. What did later apologize?

Brandon Garland. Brian Saylor, who betrayed the party for Dormair's ring And did not apologize. Not even when pressed. Breanne Whitney. Brockway loves the meat milling. Sarah Chase McPherson. Chris Brower, who betrayed the party

For Dormair's ring while on horseback. That's different. Vehicular betrayer. Jurius Glare. Dan B. Dean Costello. Donald Finney, the ring betrayer. Who was called that before the adventure for other reasons

What did betray the party for Dormair's ring? Dr. Awkward. Eric Spalding. Fancy Shark. Hambo, who betrayed the party for Dormair's ring And then put it on. Down there. Haraka.

Hot fart. Jaber Al-Aden. John Dean, who definitely betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. Holy shit. John McCammon. John Minkoff. Josh S. Ken Paisley.

K&M. All of whom betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. Laziest man on Mars. Matt Cortez. Matt Riley. Mike Stiles betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. Then betrayed Dormair. To the party.

Then betrayed the party again. Moju. N.D. Neil Bailey. Neil Schaefer betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. But in a really charming way that they just couldn't stay mad at. Nick Ralston. Nick H.

Ozzie Olin betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. And then proposed with it. Aw. Patrick Herbst. Rev. Rhiannon. Rich Joslin resisted the power of Dormair. And stood strong.

He, hold on. I'm getting a news hoc. He has just betrayed the party for Dormair's ring. Sarkovsky. Timmy Levy. Tostigam. Tom Sikula. Tommy G.

Yossari. Angeloh. Who did not betray the party for Dormair's ring. He. Asked for a necklace. For which yes, he did betray the party.