The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 66, Documental Season 5 with Lydia Bugg!
Episode Date: March 23, 2022Brockway asks Seanbaby and special guest Lydia Bugg to watch more Documental, the Japanese reality show where 10 comedians try not to laugh. One of them agrees, the other relents. Poison mouthwash, fo...ot deepthroating, weightless eggs, fartmonicas and handjobs, handjobs, handjobs!
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One nine hundred hot dog.
One nine hundred hot dog.
Our podcast slams with maximum hype.
Say hot dog podcast word.
Yeah.
When you taste that nitrate power,
you're in the dog zone for an hour.
Come on.
You know the number.
One nine hundred.
One nine hundred hot dog.
One nine zero zero.
One nine hundred hot dog.
One nine hundred.
One nine hundred hot dog.
One nine zero zero zero.
Yeah.
Nine thousand.
Shohei yokoso.
You are in the dog zone.
Kyusen.
We're the podcast for the final comedy website.
One nine hundred hot dog dot com.
Support our Patreon.
Buy things at our store.
I'm enduring Legend of World Web Hilarity.
Sean Baby joined by someone with the same credentials,
Robert Super Hanjabu Brockway.
Actually, I'm here with the Brockway fact that contradicts that.
I think if I was a Japanese comedy bit,
I don't think I'd be a hand job.
I think I'd be force feeding an old man a raw egg.
No follow up questions to that.
I have none.
I know exactly.
We're going to take a quick segue into our first,
our first order of business.
Our guests were joined by the Sandy Bergman of funny,
the Brigitte Nielsen of our hearts.
Our own Lydia Bug.
Hi, thanks for having me.
I actually, I'm not going to say thanks for having me this time
because of the ordeal you put me through.
I'm going to say, I, hello, I am here.
You're welcome.
It's Lydia Bug.
You're welcome, everybody.
Lydia, if you were a Japanese comedy bit,
which bit would you be putting on a silly hat and walking into
the room casually?
Oh, that's a good one.
What about you, Sean?
Uh, tearing off armpit hair, putting on a weird little paddle,
holding it to frame my face and saying,
just 50 times in a row.
Stick with us listeners.
I promise this will make sense.
This is your idea.
Don't promise that.
You have to listen to the end to find out it's a lie.
Rockway, do you want to explain what we're doing?
Yeah.
All right.
I guess we've had enough fun.
We'll just get right to it.
Oh, is that all?
Okay.
You're right.
You should plug in banter.
Yeah, Lydia.
What do you got to plug?
Uh, yeah, man, I've been doing a bunch of podcasts lately
and they always ask that.
I have nothing going on and I'm just like,
how dare you ask me to plug my stuff?
I've always got it on Twitter.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You can, you can follow me on Twitter at Unolidia, I guess.
I try and treat regularly.
You do have a great weekly column at the beloved comedy
website, one nine hundred hot dog.
Well, of course, that's what I always plug on other,
on other podcasts.
I plug the fantastic last comedy website on the internet,
one nine hundred hot dog where I have a weekly column.
But I feel like people listening to this might know that.
One would hope.
But you never know.
You would be surprised.
We have a ton of listeners that only listen to the podcast
and don't go to the website.
And that's what I would like to plug.
Go to the website.
I would, I would like to plug us and the money that I would
like for you to give us.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we make money from Patreon.
So you got to go to the Patreon and then sign up and you
get a whole bunch of extra articles and other like fun stuff.
Somebody just heard that for the first time and it's like,
they have a what?
They have a what?
Yeah, that's, that's our business model.
Occasionally every few years asking for money.
And then like once every six months, you mentioned the store too.
Oh, right.
The store.
We do have a merchandise store.
Thank you, Lydia.
I'll plug it.
Something I have never done and will never do again.
It is poxcostore.com.
P-O-X-C-O store.com.
We got shirts of apes.
We got mugs of hot dogs and more apes.
If you want them, baby, we got it all.
All right, gentlemen and ladies.
Well, that's okay.
That's enough fun.
Now we'll think we did.
Now we'll get to what we're doing and plug in.
We are talking about documentary season five.
We have talked about documentary on the show before.
We covered the first season very briefly.
It's a Japanese comedy reality competition.
And the idea is you get 10 comedians in a room together.
Increasingly naked.
Well, that comes later.
The core of the idea wasn't you have to get increasingly naked.
It wasn't like every hour that comes down, you must be naked.
They brought that on themselves.
But you get 10 comedians.
That used to be a building block of the show, though.
It's an integral.
I'm saying they choose it.
It's important.
It's very important that they choose it.
Otherwise, this feels like a real different show.
Anyway, you get 10 comedians in a room and they are not allowed to laugh.
You got like six hours.
They can bring a bag or so of props and they get cards.
They get a yellow card, an orange card.
And if they get a red card, they're out.
So you can laugh twice the third time you are knocked out.
There's some discretion there.
Yeah.
It's all just played by ear by the host Hitoshi Matsumoto who just
watches in the background with like a room full of supervillain monitors with
two giant buttons that say start and stop and alarm goes off if he thinks you
laugh.
And yeah, it's the first season we did and it's a fascinating look because
it's not always or even very often funny.
It's more interesting to watch comedy break down, to watch comedy break down
to its core or try to build and to watch this like cross-culturally.
The first season was very much about us like trying to wrap a handle around how
different Japanese comedy is that they have this sort of vaudeville structure
through this day, but then how like there's still the same when they talk
about it.
Like they cut to the exit interviews or in-between interviews and their banter is
identical to like if you might do this anywhere else in any other.
And very sophisticated.
It wasn't like, I thought the banana peel was a great idea.
It's like, no, see what I wanted to add an element of surprise to the
absurdity and then those two would collide and then that would, you know,
it's like.
Yeah, they'll talk about like how bits intersect and build and like what makes
them laugh and like how they get in their heads about it and like the results
or something.
And who's like a master of the craft, you know, like, oh, this, that was amazing
that right then he knew that's when he should take his balls out.
That was amazing.
I love that in my notes so many times.
So they, I can admire each other's like comedic, like discipline or decision
making.
It is so funny.
Now it's, it's very, I would, I would like to praise myself and my boldness
for bringing this to the podcast twice.
You know, as I said in the first one when they covered the first time,
I'm not sure how interesting this is to non-comedians that aren't us and have
seen this show.
Like this might be a terrible podcast.
It's definitely going to be a terrible podcast.
We don't know what we're doing because it also might be a terrible show.
If you're not a comedian, like I don't understand.
Oh, I think it's a terrible show.
I think it shouldn't exist.
I think if you asked me to do a third in this series, I would say no,
I would decline.
If you do another one of these, you're going to have to have another guest
because I was sitting down to watch these.
I felt a weight in my heart.
Did not think I would see.
I don't think they're exceptionally funny.
There are a few funny minutes, but I find them just
enduringly fascinating and the seasons.
Like I didn't find many of the seasons in between fascinating,
but this one in particular, I brought season five because it is the first time
that one guy in particular comes on and just dominates from start to finish.
Absolutely destroys.
He seems to have like a specific game plan, like a list of things he's going to
lose on specific people.
And it works flawlessly from beginning to end.
And it's terrible.
It's never funny.
It's always obnoxious.
And he just murders the entire show.
And I thought that was just a completely fascinating season.
And it's funny you mentioned it because if I could, if like everybody
loves this podcast, which I don't think they will.
Again, this is going to be awful.
But if everybody loves this podcast, like I think I would,
there are other seasons like the season after this, it's half women.
And they finally, they finally get to team up and like, you know,
banter back and forth because they had like a woman on a single woman.
And she wound up crying because nobody would do bits with her.
Like they wouldn't banter like the same way as they would with other people.
And then so they had like half women on and they team up and kind of do bits
with each other.
And they just do this same thing.
They run the gamut.
I get that.
That season ends with just the women left and like one guy,
like the least funny guy who is just utterly helpless.
And it's, it's fascinating to watch.
There's a banned season that they, they removed from the air.
I have no idea why or what's on it.
Cause like they put possibly be worse than this season.
There's a band season.
There's also a season where they kept this exact same structure.
Like nobody can laugh.
And then they just put non comedians on it.
It's all just like people.
It's, it's like, it's like a fucking young adult novel dystopia.
Like the way they experiment with this show.
It's just constantly say like, there's no appeal to it,
but it has been recreated in basically every color,
every culture except America.
Like there was just a big Canadian one with Tom green and Dave Foley
and Colin mockery and taco from the league.
Right. And that's, I don't get why it's interesting to non-comedians.
So like, I don't get what anybody gets out of this show.
If you're not a comedian, like if you are a comedian,
I think it's fascinating watching this interact,
especially when it's from another culture that I'm so unfamiliar with.
Right.
I was interesting about the Canadian one.
It's like, that's close enough to America that I, I get it.
And it's still just a weird, really weird idea for a show.
This fucking weird backwards Canadian comedy.
It's like proto vaudeville. I don't know what they're doing.
Yeah.
I think what works about the show is Hitoshi Matsumoto.
He comes off as like this drill sergeant,
this cranky drill sergeant of comedy school.
Like he's having a fun time, but he's like very judgy and like,
I don't know, like wisened.
And so like he'll speak about taking your dick out.
Like it's samurai Bushido.
It's so funny to me.
And it's a vibe no other version gets.
Like the Canadian one has Jay Berichel as the host and he's just
kind of like a goofy foul mouth kid pretending to host his dad's talk show
and Australia has Rebel Wilson.
And she kind of hosted like, like just, she's Chris Hardwick.
Like she's just sort of enthusiastically reading Q cards.
And, you know, sometimes remembering to talk with inflection,
but most just like just getting through the fucking Q card.
I would love to watch the Canadian one with like Dave Foley doing
samurai Bushido about taking your dick out.
Like just how it does not translate.
Total opposite.
Like he comes on.
He's just, I fucking hate comedy.
I hate all this shit.
And it's like he's really old and bitter and he doesn't hide it.
And it's not a bit that he's doing.
Like I've seen his stand up, his modern stand up.
And it's very much like, fuck my ex-wife.
I'm only doing this because she's getting like 80 grand a month for child support.
And like, oh man, I could have fucked Uma Thurman in a prime.
That's a real bit that he does.
Cause he like walked Uma Thurman to her car and he was going through like a
shaky abortion.
So he was staying faithful to his wife, but like he saw an opening kind of.
And like it was the most fucking, I could have been something bullshit.
Like it's, but it's a part of his act now.
Like he just carries that bitterness with him everywhere.
And so he goes in that show and he's, he opens with a Holocaust joke.
Like it's just like, okay, it's a bold choice, Dave Foley.
But I imagine he doesn't laugh a lot.
He did eventually.
I can't even remember what happened, but it was, uh, I think he just wanted to leave.
Then there was a trailer park boy and he left cause he, uh, uh, had to take a crap.
Uh, he just, they didn't give you a bathroom.
They at least give them a bathroom in the Japanese.
They did, but he was like, dude, I'm really gonna fucking blow that thing up.
Let's be real.
The Japanese version, they can and would just do it right on the table.
Yeah.
And they would think it was, they would think that was great.
Nobody ever used the bathroom and the Japanese version.
I said trailer park boy, I think I met Slater Kenny.
Oh, you mean letter Kenny?
No, it's not the Portland, like Slater Kenny was on this.
I met Slater Kenny, the nineties band from, uh, yeah, yeah, you get it.
I think it's cause Lydia's here and you wrote the trailer park boys comic.
Yeah.
I'll plug for you.
Yeah.
I wrote for two, two issues of it and the graphic novel, which is how recently I
could have plugged that.
I'm glad I fucked it up.
Thank you.
Well, I would argue you just did.
Yeah, there we go.
Season five has a few things different.
If you listen to the first show, it was just the bare bones rules of you can't
laugh, you get three cards.
It's kind of iterates every season.
So you're dealing with like a couple of iterations later.
So they have two new mechanics that you need to know about, which is the
zombie system.
If you get knocked out, uh, you just go to like a green room and then you and
the other comics can like team up and you come back in periodically to try to
get the other people out.
And, uh, there's a helper system where every single person in that room now
can call on like one helper to help them do one bit.
I think those are, those are all the rules.
We should probably go through the cast real quick, real quick.
There's like 45 of them real quick.
Right. There's, uh, I want to talk about how they set this up because the
whole first episode is basically just a cast list.
And I really like how it cuts to, uh, Hitoshi and he's like, oh,
he's really thinking hard about, oh, this guy's a powerful opponent.
Oh, good at offense.
Oh, also very strong on defense.
Like he's building a team of warriors.
Yeah.
And then the guy writes title cards based on like what he sings.
He's like, um, this guy has a, has a face that where he's always smiling.
And then the title card will go naturally smiley.
Like dramatic letters.
I love it.
He also said that he felt like this season he understood like who would do
well on the show and who would it.
And I thought it was funny that there were some people that he was basically
like, yeah, this guy sucks.
I don't think he's going to do a good job.
Oh, we forgot to mention also everyone has a personal steak, uh,
where they have to bring $10,000, $100,000, I don't know, $10,000 American.
Uh, and that, that's like their bet.
And then the winner takes home everybody's money.
Right.
And then you take home the $100,000 or whatever it is at the end.
I think this is an important element to the show.
It's not like a bunch of celebrity comedians like in the other countries where it's like
these guys have like a, maybe it's not much of a personal steak.
Maybe it's not even real, but it like makes it so they have some sort of an
honor to win this.
They talk at the first episode, a lot of them talk about like having to take out a
loan because I'm not familiar with the culture.
I know some of these people are fairly big names every once in a while,
but then some of them seem like they're just starting out or just kind of obscure
working comedians.
And that I kind of believed their bit where they're like, I had to take out a loan
to get this money.
And I think a lot of people would have trouble.
He said, Hey, I need a stack of $10,000 cash like tomorrow.
I think most people be like, I can't really make that happen easily.
I mean, I can make it happen.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I think that this season, the only people that really mentioned having trouble was
Jimmy said, no one will give me a loan even, which the, which Hitoshi gives them
loans apparently sometimes.
And he said even Hitoshi wouldn't give him a loan this season to be on the show.
That's bad money.
That's a bad bet.
I think Jimmy is going to invite you, invite you on the show and then not loan
you the money to do it.
No, you fucking sell some blood or something, Jimmy.
This traumatic thing where your naked dick and ass are going to be on TV and we pay
you negative $10,000.
And you're going to do it anyway.
All right.
Well, so there's, there's Hitoshi Matsumoto, who's the host.
He's the guy with the buttons and the monitors.
There's Ryuji Akiyama.
He's kind of looks like every metal grouping that you've ever seen.
Like he should be touring with Metallica or something.
Yeah.
He's got real buttons.
I loved him.
I called him Skater Boy.
I thought he had a skater look.
He had like a skater vibe.
His comedy group.
All around.
His comedy group's name is Robert.
That's what an honor for you.
They show a little clip of him and what he did the last time he was on in season three
where he literally gave a guy an extended lubricated hand job very nearly to completion.
And then they, of course, have that guy back on.
That's Kobayashi.
Kind of looks like a, like a retired UFC guy.
And for his interview, as they bring him back on, he says his biggest regret was not
ejaculating on the show.
He feels like if he had ejaculated, that would have really gotten him all the way.
Yeah.
And it genuinely seems like it haunts him.
He said, if only I could have ejaculated.
Yeah.
Why couldn't I ejaculate?
Everybody would have.
That's what I was like.
Oh, this isn't going to be fun for me to watch.
That is the exact thing that drove Arnold Schwarzenegger to be a movie star and governor
that need to ejaculate.
To constantly be ejaculated.
It's how every comedian feels when they're really on point, when they're really given
a guy a hand job and they know it's hilarious.
They feel that pump, like their skin's going to burst.
And it's just, can you believe how much they're in heaven?
Speaking of ejaculating, they found him in the red light district when they're handing
out the invitations and they're like, dude, what are you doing over here in the prostitution
area?
And he's like, oh, I'm looking for some comedy material.
So I think hand jobs are really central to this guy's comedic process.
Yeah.
I would, you know what?
I would agree.
I wouldn't even call him out.
I would say, yes, you have proven multiple times on national TV, international TV that
hand jobs are a part of your comedic process.
Not a flimsy excuse.
You're allowed to write this off.
I wouldn't know what he will prosecute you.
I actually did love that he smoked the entire time all throughout the show.
I thought that was a really baller move.
And exactly what I would do on the show, because smoking kind of mellows you out.
And he seemed really calm the whole time.
Like that was smart.
It gives you something to do.
Yeah.
There's a lot of techniques they use.
There was Shageo, who's like a little giggly baseball boy.
There's Kano Aiko, who kind of looks like he's in a boy band 20 years ago.
And like, now this is what he does.
And I liked his intro because Matsumoto said, I think this guy really sucks.
And he was correct.
He says he's not.
Yeah, he was very correct.
He was completely.
She says word for word.
He's not funny at all.
But that might work to his advantage.
And then Kano by his own admission says most of his laps come from how he fucks things up.
And he doesn't do that on purpose.
So he's an accidental Tim Heidegger character who knows he's an accidental Tim Heidegger character.
And also I wrote down that he looks like he just got cheek fillers.
Yeah.
And Takahashi, the second he sits down, calls him out on it.
He's like, dude, have you always had those lines on your face?
And he's like, totally embarrassed.
Like, oh, I just got busted.
Like getting my face worked on.
Yeah.
That was there's so much that doesn't translate that I didn't catch that.
But yeah, that makes sense.
I think he tried to play it off like an aging joke, but it was definitely like, no, you had to work.
He just had a little work done.
Yeah.
He was an archer.
I looked him up.
He, uh, not an Olympic archer, but like the, like a competitive samurai archer.
So that's, that's some good backstory.
And then he fell into being an incompetent comedian professionally.
Oh, he's a spectator.
Oh, let's see.
There was Jin I who has just a real dad vibe to the crew.
He's just everybody's cool dad.
Uh, I believe Matsumoto called him out as like having too much dignity, uh, for this show.
And he says like, there's not a lot of people who are going to get naked on this season.
And he was incorrect.
That's a very incorrect claim to make.
I forget who it was, but one of the guys said, we just had lunch last week and talked about
what we would do on the show.
And you said, I would never go on that show.
Here you are.
I believe that was junior who, uh, kind of looks like Japanese lurch.
And I had Mr. Spock, but yeah, yours is better.
And, uh, he brought nothing to the show.
Everybody brings a bag full of props.
He brought nothing.
And then he, his whole thing was he would like set up bits for other people to do.
And he was really good at it.
Yeah.
Like, but he doesn't have his own bits.
And it was just a very strange dichotomy.
There was a Yamauchi who looks like a Japanese Jimmy Carr.
And there was, uh, was it tomorrow?
Uh, the chow guys.
I wrote down the, uh, for Yamauchi's, uh, title cards.
It said poker faced King of Conte, unfair face, the regular winner of contests.
Unfair face.
Unfair face.
And he actually had a lot of trouble with the money.
He said that he won a comedy contest, but he burned through that prize money.
So this is, this is a matter of like financial need for him.
You could tell too.
Like I felt, I felt like he was, um, more stone face, like trying really hard,
not like when he broke, he really broke.
It wasn't like, uh, there was moments where it was close.
And I also thought that he was the best actor.
I was like, that guy could win an Oscar when he gets into a character.
He is like in it.
Yeah.
He definitely had like, he had some actually pretty solidly planned bits that he
knew and he had some good timing deploying them, but he also just,
he happened to find some things funny that, uh, I don't really understand,
but that's his prerogative.
Uh, and then there was, oh, you have your cheat sheet here.
Uh, Tamura is spit curl who is near as I can tell.
The only thing he does is he says, chow like this chow.
And that's right.
It, that is all he did comedy career in Japan.
Now he said, he's talked a lot about like financial stuff.
His title card said, strong nerves, side business king of Kansai.
And then he gave a really insane speech about the industrial revolution and how
now there's a financial revolution.
Yeah.
He's a Bitcoin bro.
I forgot.
He's a crypto guy.
And the first thing he mentioned was he saw the big pile of cash and he's like,
oh, maybe cash is better than virtual currency.
And I was like, oh, God damn, of course crypto bro.
Yeah.
You're going to have crypto bros.
Uh, there's Jimmy Onishi who, I think he was on the first season.
Yeah.
He is just like a broken disease, little cobalt of a man.
Like, he's very much some sort of gremlin.
He's so sad.
He was my least favorite character on the first season.
And then I could not believe it when he came on this season.
I was like, are you kidding me?
He's 55 years old.
His body is almost as destroyed as mine.
He came in to the room already dressed as a hospital worker.
And then he just started giving away like all of his bits before they
started.
And they kept saying like, Jimmy, don't do it.
Like he walks in the room and he's like, I got my hands caught in a
train door and his hands are all like swollen and weird looking.
And I'm like, I would have laughed if you had told me that when the
contest started.
Oh, right, right, right.
He's just, he should not be here.
He said that if he loses, he works for six months for free, which
means I'm doing the math here.
He makes $20,000 a year, which seems hard in Japan to get by on.
Title card agrees.
And the title card says documentals saddest story.
He truly is.
He makes me sad all the time, but also, also happy.
I'm happy he's doing his thing.
He is not intellectually prepared for this.
He is like a giant stupid baby.
And lastly, there is Hollywood Zikoshi, who is the guy that just fucking
dominates.
And he dresses in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots with a shirt that says
Hollywood.
And his entire shtick, as near as I can tell, is making a really
stupid face and doing like a fifth graders impersonation of an
idiot.
Just the aggressive dirt voice.
He's screaming.
A lot of screaming.
Yeah.
They call him.
90s Jim Carrey.
They call him the master of 200 million impersonations.
And all of them are just yelling while he makes that face.
And in any other scenario, you would be like, oh, that guy sounds annoying
and like he sucks.
Everybody in this competition thinks he's the funniest person who has
ever lived and he completely destroys all the time.
Nonstop.
Start to finish.
And it's, it's amazing watching this happen.
Yeah.
And he seems like he's having such a ball.
Like even when no one's around, he's doing bits for no one.
Like he's enjoying himself so thoroughly doing these insane
stupid faces.
Well, yeah, he's like, he's like an ADD kid.
I think he probably, you know, I think he probably literally is.
He just has to constantly be doing something.
Yeah.
It's this and everybody thinks it's just great.
As we're opening up, they're all talking about like setting it up.
Jimmy is already fucking everything up.
They're like, Jimmy, you're dressed like a maniac.
This can't be good gamesmanship.
History has shown all of your jokes are just ridiculous costumes anyway.
So you're just inoculating us against this, right?
And then the smiley guy, Takahashi Shigeo, he's like, okay, guys,
I have natural smiley face.
So like, and he goes to Hitoshi, he goes, Hey, is this face okay?
And then he just gives him the kindest, most gentle smile.
His face is just natural, like adorable little happy face.
But I believe him.
He just has a natural smiley little face.
The mouth rests that way.
Yeah.
So much of this season of what I laughed at was the faces they made
when they weren't trying not to laugh because they came up with kind of a
system this season where instead of laughing, they'd make like a weird
crazy mouth.
And they wouldn't count it as laughing because I think they know it's funny.
Right.
Like Jimmy's, Jimmy Onishi's strategy for not laughing was to open his
huge carp mouth as wide as it would go and just look at the sky and
shake.
And it was so funny.
So funny and so disturbing watching him do this over and over again
every time he wanted to laugh.
Like somebody would do something funny and he would just go carp.
He would go like, like just an unattended Muppet.
Right.
Like the hand just fell out of it.
Someone sniped the puppeteer.
Like a Muppeteer just died.
Yeah.
That's I couldn't think of how to describe it, but that's perfect.
Yeah.
Do you remember Jimmy's first bit, lady?
Oh yeah, I do.
Well, first he drank mouthwash.
Apparently they have a voice on his mouthwash.
In Japan.
If you drink, it's very bad for you.
So of course he like takes a shot of that.
And then there's a weird collaborativeness on this season where
someone does a bit and like if someone else sees it, it starts to
break another person.
They keep going.
Right.
So someone must have thought it was kind of funny because it was
like, you know what you should do to like wash that down is you
should let me crack this raw egg into your mouth.
And then there's also kind of an unspoken thing where if someone
tells you to do something, you have to do it.
So Jimmy's like, yeah, baby, crack that egg right in my mouth.
He sits down, throws his head back and they crack a whole raw egg
into his mouth and he eats it.
And this 55 year old man, it's like the first two minutes of this
show.
He drinks poison.
They crack a raw egg into his mouth.
Nobody laughs.
But no chance.
But Sakoshi makes his really stupid face that they have seen
before a million times because it's his whole act.
And now they're all in trouble.
Like they just, they just are dead.
You can't even look at this guy without breaking.
Yeah.
They get an argument about improv, which I thought is funny.
Like one guy's like, Hey, hold on.
This is a fucking improv game.
They're guys.
Well, yeah.
And that's like the whole point of the show.
And then he's like, no.
Dude, I fucking hate improv.
And they started getting a discussion about that, which is
that was really funny that someone would enter into it and
obviously improv comedy show and just hate it, have a contempt
for it as a concept.
Yeah.
Like get ready to have a terrible eight hours, dude.
It's great to watch them like talk and mechanics of comedy.
Like, no, that's not my style of comedy.
When as near as I can tell their comedy is, is this, it's like,
no, I hate improv.
My comedy is like, I hate improv.
It's like, no, I hate improv.
My comedy is entirely about my one testicle being out.
Well, I say the word bird over and over again.
Okay.
I mean, they, they talk structurally the same as the most
complicated bits, but then it's just, it's just about madness
that you will never understand the culturally very specific
madness that you cannot approach.
There were a few times this season when I thought, okay, that
was set up and executed well, which the first season, there
were zero times when that happened.
This season, there were like three or four bits that I
thought were well executed.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You can see him watching and like learning from previous
seasons, like how the game is supposed to go.
Which I think is wise.
Akoshi comes in with like a game plan.
Like he didn't know who was going to be there, but he has like,
I'm going to use this, this and this.
He has like a set list and like people to try to use it on.
As he goes through.
And I think he's the only one so far in the season that does
that.
He does these, his centerpiece of his stick is doing an over
exaggerated impression.
Only they all sound the same because they're all just, just
yelling.
And he does one of those at the start and it almost cracks
like everybody in the room.
I think, I think it's Junior that, that it's the first one to
say, my God, his power is amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He, in one of those testimonials, he said that like the
second he saw the show, he's like, oh, I need to go on the
show.
And all of his fans wrote him and it's like, why aren't you on
this fucking show?
And so he's had like four seasons to be like, dude, what,
this is what I would do and make a game plan.
And it's clearly like he's been obsessed with it and he came
in and like executed.
So good for him.
Yeah.
I feel like they told him at some point, they were, I bet they
didn't invite him on because they thought he would like
dominate by just screaming the entire time.
And they told him, like, you have to let other people do
things on occasion.
Because there are times when he's sitting there with his
arms folded, looking so bored when other people are doing
their routines.
And I feel like he's just like, okay, I'm going to give this
guy like five minutes and then I'm going to go and take all my
clothes off and run out here and scream.
Hit myself in the head with a water bottle.
I've seen all the seasons.
That's a bit.
That's like part of his act is he has an empty water bottle and
he hits himself in the head over and over again while yelling.
And apparently that's a thing.
That's comedy.
That's the joke.
It's like, like if you had an obnoxious uncle and said, hey,
make the six-year-old laugh, like it's completely the same as
most of the show.
Yeah.
I'm just amazed.
I think, is it maybe like, so you get a bunch of comedians
together, the things that make you laugh are either really dark,
really inside, or really stupid.
And so I'm thinking maybe he's like their version of Chris Farley
where it's just so dumb and such an anti-comedy that maybe
you're laughing because why would I laugh?
Like, aren't we adults?
Why would I laugh at you just spinning around and falling through
a table?
I mean, I think of falling over as a classic bit.
Like if I have a slapstick purse, I don't know.
It's weird because I don't like prank shows.
Like I don't like jackass and stuff.
But if someone accidentally falls over, that's the funniest
shit on earth to me.
I don't know why.
Yeah.
Accidentally falling over is great, but it has to be pure.
Yeah.
But if you can convince me, if you can trick me, I'll appreciate it
and I'll laugh.
Like when Jimmy fell this season, I was like, oh heck yeah,
that's my stuff.
I love that.
I don't think there's anything unsophisticated about Chris Farley.
When he fell through a table, that was like physical comedy
to me.
That was pretty genius.
No, I think Chris Farley is great, but I'm saying like that's
the kind of thing that's going to make comedians laugh because it
goes so far in the other direction of being just completely basic.
To more explain my point, I would say that Hollywood's
Akoshi's comedy is unsophisticated for the most part.
Like he would come in and do something.
I'm like, that dude is really just shaking his dick around.
Yes, there is literally one where he just comes out and he goes
and he shakes his dick and he says that's an impression.
And again, it almost gets like everybody out.
Everybody he does it to is just like, I am almost going to die
at this and then they cut to a testimonial of them going,
my God, the power, the technique.
How can he contain so much comedy?
The majesty of this.
Jenae sucks at Ugyri, which is the word for the improv.
That's the host of the show says that Jenae sucks at Ugyri.
And in his little setup, when they explained who he was,
he said that he also can't do his own material.
Basically, all he can do is sort of make fun of other people
doing stuff.
So here's a guy who can't do his own thing.
Is a situation where you're not supposed to make fun of other
people doing stuff and also can't do improv.
So it's basically just keep on this guy that fucking sucks at
everything.
I just had that in my notes as a funny little detail that this
show is actively sabotaging.
Yeah, they have like three junior to is the Japanese Lurch.
And he doesn't do he does the same thing like I don't have my
own material.
I don't really do improv.
But what he does is he knows what's funny and he kind of gives
people prompts.
He's then sort of like a almost a host role inside the room.
Right.
Well, like that doesn't get him anywhere.
It doesn't.
The show called him the theory-loving onomatopoeic
maestro of chatter, which is aggressively nonsense.
Wait, Jenae or junior?
Junior.
Junior.
Okay.
I thought junior was maybe the funniest in a way though.
Cause like his face.
Yeah.
He does.
He had a funny face.
But like there were times like, you know, the monkey, he bought
the monkey.
The monkey was the next level.
Yeah.
That was real.
I genuinely laughed when everyone else laughed with the guy
blew the harmonica into the monkey.
It's so far you need like eight layers of context.
I'm sorry.
I don't know how you want to do this.
I don't know.
We just have to back up and explain like he brought like a toy
monkey on that just records the last thing you say to it and then
says it back in like a little creepy monkey voice.
And then they have-
In respect to this bit, I think we should go back even further to
explain the harmonica.
Yeah.
We have to explain Fartmonica.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
That's what I'm saying.
It was like eight levels that they built onto this and that to be not
gibberish to somebody you have to start so far back.
Right.
So, Liddy, why don't you explain Fartmonica, please?
Yeah.
Fartmonica, this I actually is not usually my type of comedy,
but it did make me laugh.
It's a game they play backstage at the comedy clubs where you put a
harmonica in your mouth and someone shoves their hand into your
ass like as hard as they possibly can so that it clearly hurts.
And if you make a noise with the harmonica, you lose.
So like that in itself wouldn't be funny.
But I forget who brought it up.
The guy with the curl.
Tamara.
Yeah.
Did it to Kendo, the guy who's smoking the whole time.
And in the most perfectly timed way, he didn't blow the harmonica when
he got like stuck in the ass, but he kind of waited a second and
someone asked, did it hurt?
And he let out just the littlest toot of the harmonica.
It's so perfect.
And it fucking broke like three people, I think.
Yeah.
See, that was a, that was a Koshy who did that.
Oh, that was a Koshy.
Yeah.
They did the like, let's out the little soft breath through the harmonica
after, after withstanding the pain of being silent.
And then at the end, it's just this little honk.
And that broke breaks a lot of people.
And then so that's the like fartmonica bit.
There's a thing I liked here where the first person to the
front, Monica was a baby face.
Yamauchi.
But instead of like poking him in the butt with his fingers, he
like rears back and kicks him in the ass and he screams, I'll kill
you.
So like, he's expecting an ass poke and he gets like this fucking
death challenge.
And I, that cracked me up.
I'm like, this is, this is that sophisticated layers of comedy.
So he's like, oh dude, you're coming at me with a fucking finger
poke to your butt.
I like, I will raise you a death challenge, an unexpected death
challenge.
I like the escalation.
Yeah, everybody was like, that's really messed up that you
would say that.
And like in this dead silent room, it like, it's one of many
moments on the show that kind of becomes an art piece.
Cause then he does it again in his second threat was he looks
at him and he says, I will smash you to death.
That line.
I got me, it didn't get anybody else.
Nobody else thought that was funny.
Like nobody was like holding it back, but, but Zakochi's stupid
face will get them every single time.
So the bit we were trying to explain, now that we have set up
Fartmonica and can go deeper into the second level of Fartmonica,
Zakochi sits on the couch and he's doing an impression and he
does the impressions that aren't yelling.
The very few he has are always super specific of people that
nobody else in the room knows.
And he will ask.
It was set up too by Ken Coba who was like bullied him into it.
He's like, do that fucking thing that never makes anyone laugh
at your shows.
And he'll ask everybody, do you know who this is?
And then he'll sit down and do this impression anyway.
And they're just very confused.
So he's doing this impression of like a tired wrestler, I guess.
And junior takes this monkey that records voices and sets it in
front of him and then has this, uh, no, it's a, it's a, it's a,
actually Kano Aiko who has the monkey and he sets it in front
of him and it starts repeating everything that he's saying.
And then junior like quietly slips in there without saying a word
and hands the harmonica to Zakochi who puts it in his mouth and
blows and then there's like a long beat and then the monkey blows
back with this terrible screech.
Like it's broken the recording device in the monkey.
That's just a moment after that.
It was so funny.
There's a moment where Akiyama is over there just kind of
watching it and dealing with it.
And then when the monkey made the little harmonica sound,
he, he like makes this O face.
Like he's astonished at how funny it is.
And then a long beat and then starts laughing.
I was like that.
Yeah, I got it.
This show, there's so much like these moments of joy that you
earned for sitting through like 10 really unpleasant naked
people.
Really unpleasant moments.
And then there'll be these moments.
And that's, that's why I'm, I'm with Lydia that I think junior
is actually very funny because they, he sees this whole scenario
and he's like, I know exactly what should happen here.
And he just sneaks in there and like hands somebody something.
And he does this several times.
Well, they'll just sneak into a bit and hand somebody something
or like put something there.
Jimmy wants by they, this requires a lot of setup as
well.
So they're writing their names on water bottles and it's
nothing.
And they're just writing like the wrong names.
And then Tamora, who was the guy that just goes, yeah,
very simply and doesn't seem to have any other bit.
It takes him forever as everybody else like has their bit.
And finally he writes the name Ichiro and it's nothing,
but that gets Jimmy and they ask him why they asked Jimmy why
he thought that was so funny.
Why the fuck was that funny?
He just says he thought so long and that's all he came up with.
Which I did think like actually that is a pretty good anti
comedy bit to think for a really long time.
And it's just right.
Like I'm assuming the American version would be like Samantha
or something.
Right.
I thought it was funny just cause he's like their most famous
baseball player ever.
And so it's, you know, it's just the dumbest thing.
It's like something a child would think.
I didn't know.
I had no idea who that was.
Yeah, it's just nothing, but it's so many of these things
where people get out as they go into their head and think like,
this is going so badly or something.
And that, that would get them.
Anyway, he, that gets Jimmy and then later on junior takes his
little stacking Dixie cups and he hands them to Jimmy and just,
he doesn't say anything.
He just slides them in front of Jimmy and points at him.
So Jimmy starts opening one at a time and he gets to the last
one on the outside is written Ichiro.
And he just fucking busts up laughing again.
Like he just has these little needle like, Hey, just this,
just look at this.
Yeah.
Junior didn't do much, but what he did were things that I totally
got why they were funny and they genuine, they've made me laugh
usually even the Ichiro one.
I was like, the way that he snuck the cup to him and the way
Jimmy slowly kind of like pulled it out.
There was a lot of tension building there.
It made me laugh.
He didn't say anything.
He didn't set up anything.
He just quietly like, this is for you.
And it worked.
And there's another one that they do here where somebody after
they're cracking eggs in his mouth, somebody just sets one on
like a candle holder and he says, Jimmy even looks at it on
like one of their break periods and says, who did this?
Who would laugh at this?
And this comes in handy later.
Yeah, it's a real window into his brain where he's like,
who put an egg here?
And everyone's like, who the fuck cares?
Why would you ask?
And then as he gets kicked off the show for like looking at a
name written on a cup, he explains that he didn't really
recognize it as a candlestick and he thought it was a scale.
And so he thought the egg was somehow magically weightless
and not tipping the scale.
So his own brain's nonsense made him laugh.
Like he imagined an entire world where everything is different
and in that world that egg is unusual and then in that world
he laughed and everyone's like, dude, what the fuck is wrong
with you?
Why would you even come on a show like this?
Because he's trying to do like a bit or something.
It's right after the each row thing.
It's so early in the show and they're like, Jimmy,
look at the egg.
And he's like, no, I'm not going to look at the egg.
Jimmy, look at the egg.
And then he's almost going to boss.
And they're like, hey, Jimmy, look at the egg.
He doesn't even look at the egg.
He just starts laughing.
Yeah.
Why?
And then he reveals that, yeah, he thought the egg was like,
they're like, why would you laugh at the egg?
And like the scale isn't working.
It's like a fucking candle.
It's clearly a candle.
Yeah.
And he has this.
That was a good reveal.
He has this really sad outro where he talks about like how
weak he is and disappointing himself.
He's just getting too old for this shit.
Yeah, he said he didn't get to do any of his bits.
And then when they brought him back as a zombie,
he revealed the big bit that he wanted to do was to take off
his dress and show that the boobs that he'd made were two
globes and he said, world cups.
It's the worst joke you could possibly write.
I could not beat that.
If you told me to write bad comedy,
I could think for a month and I would never beat that.
I was proud of him.
I'm not going to lie because it was the first thing that
resembled a joke.
I was like, I get the structure of this, Jimmy.
You tried.
And it's somehow worse for resembling a joke.
And then one of his other bits that he comes back later is
a zombie as he comes back and he has a demon mask over his
crotch and then he has pulled his erect penis through as the
nose of the demons.
They're demons have long noses and he says,
sing a poll like Singapore, but with my dick.
These are the bits.
These are the bits that he brought that he was so disappointed.
He didn't get to do them.
Yeah.
In the intro, I was talking about tearing off my armpit hair
and putting it on a little paddle and then framing my face
and saying, like, that's his other bit.
Those are the three that he's like, oh man,
this would have killed.
I tear off my armpit hair.
I put it on my face.
I say a girl's name six times.
And it doesn't, it doesn't get anybody.
Nobody is even close.
They're just like, why?
Why is this?
What is this?
What?
No.
And Singapore was especially torturous because it was like
five minutes of just a close up of his dick.
His dick pulled through a mask, like wrapped in saran wrap.
And he's just like saying over and over, sing a poll.
Yeah.
Sing a poll.
Yeah.
It's so clumsy just as comedy, but also like,
you can't like get his pants off.
Like you can't like even do the big reveal.
Like part of it breaks off while he's trying to do it.
And they're like, OK, Jimmy, do you need us to wait for you
to finish there, pal?
And that's kind of what gets picking you up, Jimmy.
Are you going to be OK?
That's what gets people is like how much of a mess he is.
Like just how badly things fall apart on him.
Because there's another bit where he comes in as a zombie
and they do like a bit and it doesn't really work.
And they turn around to leave and he just stubs his toe on
like a cabinet and then like trips over a little stuffed animal
and he gets two people out.
Yup.
That was great.
I love that.
The biggest laugh of the show is him just stumbling a little bit
and going out and then fucking they die.
There's another bit that was so truly insane.
It was kind of like, I think it's when they were waxing Ken Coba.
They were like rubbing, you know, Brazilian wax all over his junk
and trying to trying to crank off his pubic hair.
It didn't work.
I think it made his dong pop out and that's how a spit curl got
kicked out because when he was down in his crotch and his little
dick popped out right in his face and he's like,
he just couldn't keep it together.
I like a setup to this moment, which is that the chow guy,
Tamura, who did the waxing, he started all of this because
there was like a downtime and he just quietly pulls out his dick
and there's no bit.
He even says in advance like I waxed down there and then he
pulls out his dick and sure enough, he waxed down there.
Like there's no bit.
He just lets you know ahead of time.
And then, then the Kendo, the UFC looking guy kind of just pulls
his dick out too.
Like, I guess it's time to do dick stuff.
There's no bits, no bits prepared, no jokes.
They're just like, yep, it's, it's dicks now.
It's like episode two that they were doing this, right?
Yeah.
It's really early.
Yeah.
And then they come up with like, okay, let's wax.
That's wax Kendo.
It shouldn't, I should also note that they were doing it over
their uneaten sushi like they get the food and they order this
beautiful two, two plate of sushi and then everyone starts
pulling their pubic hair out over the food.
They cost, I looked it up, $1,700.
Oh my God.
All of it went away.
Yeah.
$1,690.
They did some bits with them.
Yeah.
They dipped it in that fucking poison that Jimmy drank.
And that wouldn't created, if this is to believe it created a
chemical reaction on the fatty tuna that turned it all black
and so the one guy was like spitting up like horror juice.
But again, I don't know if that was a bit.
It was never made clear if I'm doing this to be funny or if, oh my
God, guys, do not put the tuna in the, the medicine.
I think that was real because it was cheekbones who did it and
his bits were extremely weak.
So I don't think he could come up with chemical reaction tuna.
Yeah.
Agreed.
But my favorite bit that that guy did was an anti-bit basically
where he just came out with blue contacts and said he was half
Japanese.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
It's the joke.
Is that half Japanese people exist?
Well, okay.
I think that's it.
I thought for a minute, I was like, my God, this might be brilliant.
You know, when you've been watching it too long and you're like,
are they comedy geniuses?
Because it was like, you're expecting a bit and they're
asking him all these questions are like, where do you work?
And he's just like, I work at, I work the train station.
And it's like the joke is there is no bit.
They're like waiting for him to do something wacky.
And he's like, I'm just a guy.
Why are you asking me these questions?
You're so innocent.
The joke was when the punchline was when he whipped off the sunglasses
he was wearing and revealed that he's wearing blue contacts.
And he says, I'm half Japanese.
Okay.
So I missed the joke because it was just, just racist.
Because it was just racist.
Yeah.
Okay.
And the contacts were also like too subtle.
So someone's like, wait, are you wearing contacts?
Like it wasn't like clear.
Right.
They were like dark blue.
And you're like, oh, okay.
I guess if you look close.
But what was great is while they're doing all the, the, the dick waxing
and all this nonsense is going on, like Hollywood just leaves.
He's like, oh, these guys are waxing dicks.
I'm out of here.
And he comes back and he's dressed as like a newspaper hobo.
And then he asks someone to touch his dick.
He's like, guys, I'm going to show you how to do dick stuff.
And so someone does, they're like, yeah, everybody's game for everything.
So they, they touch him on the dog.
And then he goes.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ichimaiso desu.
Which I learned from the subtitles means I'm about to come.
It seems like I would have picked that up from adult material,
but I don't watch Japanese pornography.
They, they, they blur the genitals.
I think that's childish.
So anyway, he, they do this 50 times, a hundred times.
How many times do you think they do this?
So long.
It goes so long.
Everybody does it over and over and over.
It's like five straight minutes of just going, oh, oh, oh, I'm about to come.
And nobody lasts.
It works on nobody.
Yeah.
I don't think it has a prayer of it.
I also think, uh, Zakoshi definitely smiled during that when he first came out
and he was dressed as a newspaper goblin.
And I think there were a couple of times when they let it go because they thought
he was like kind of making a face as part of the bit.
Yeah.
I mean, you make a stupid face all the time.
Yeah.
But when he was standing there waiting for them to look at him,
he was smiling for sure.
There's a, there's a bit.
I wound up loving the UFC guy, Kendo so much because while they're waxing his dick,
and, uh, Shigeo, the little smiley baseball boy says,
such a well-behaved penis and Kendo just like gets this big,
friendly grin on his face and then starts kind of chuckling a little bit.
And you're like, they cut to the interview after he gets the point.
Like, what were you thinking?
And he's like, I was just having such a good time with my friends.
And like, I was so happy.
He complimented me.
I thought that was adorable.
It was really adorable.
For again, such an adorable moment as we're watching a grown man with his
dick out get involuntarily waxed by his friends.
And you're like, oh, what a cute moment.
It's heartwarming.
There was a moment of like real concern for me there because they put so
much wax on him.
And then the first try like did not pull it off.
And then I was thinking like, Oh my God, what are they going to do?
Like they still need to get that wax off of them.
But like,
they just let it harden and go.
You're like, this is getting worse.
This is going to be worse by the minute.
Dangerous.
It's very dangerous.
Like he did not, he came out of that with chunks of flesh missing.
So let's talk about the other element they added to this season where they can
call a helper.
So Yamachi is the first one to try this.
And Hitoshi explains it's like a capsule monster.
You know, it's, it's like a capsule monster.
Of course.
So, so he calls a former professional boxer in and they get in a big argument
about how we should quit the boxers.
Like, no, I think I can do it.
And he's like, no, you should quit.
And then they train and the whole bit is the boxer just starts punching him in
the stomach and they picks him up and fucking knocks him down with another
body shot.
And they just keep doing that over and over.
And I was like, this shouldn't be funny, but like something about this works on
me.
And that's when I was like, I think Yamachi might be the actual secret comedy
He was great.
I thought he was set that up really well.
Let's talk about the guy next.
Okay.
No, no, no, you go ahead.
Well, he like, I like the way that he called the guy on the phone first.
He was like, I'm going to call my friend and he basically calls him and is like,
I think you suck at fighting and you should quit.
You really, you just, you suck so bad.
And I, the thing you were going to come here and do like, don't do it because
it's going to be horrible.
It's going to be too much.
And then the guy shows up and he's like, it says like a former heavyweight boxing
champion.
He's like Japanese Mike Tyson.
Like you're supposed, you're supposed to recognize him immediately as like you're
going to get destroyed.
They clearly recognize him.
And at the end of the show, some, uh, Hitoshi says, I think the only reason that,
uh, the guy that won didn't laugh at that bit was cause he didn't know who the guy
was.
He didn't know.
He had no idea.
He was the only one who didn't know.
Everybody else is like, oh my gosh.
And then the guy comes in and just beats the crap out of Yamakuchi.
And it is really funny, but I think it's cause I really liked the setup of it where
he was just like, Oh, you're a terrible boxer.
Don't come here for context.
It would be like Jimmy Carr calling somebody and then they walk in and it's Mike Tyson
and Mike Tyson just rails Jimmy Carr in the gut over and over and over again for
like five minutes as you're like, Oh my God, stop.
He's going to die.
There's another one where Akiyama comes in with just a completely random old woman
and does what looks like college campus joke bits where he's like having her play
the piano on its tummy and trying to get her to touch his dick and she won't do it.
It's very like 2001 college campus.
But yeah, there would be a meeting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did not like that bit.
And yeah, she's kind of a good sport, but also has a line of what is whimsy and what
is sexual assault and and it ends and it's very, very strange until she comes in
and complains her.
He says, Oh, I really liked your shyness.
Very, very good bold comedic decisions.
Yeah.
He said, I like that she wasn't that into it was the exact.
I love, I love how that ends that how that ends is that cause it's not, he doesn't
like Akiyama who orchestrates the bit and the whole bit is like, I want her to touch
me inappropriately and she's an old woman and she doesn't want to do it, which is a
terrible bit.
But she's so like adorable and like just kind of game.
She was just kind for him also like as firm boundaries and is like, no.
And then towards the end, he has a position called 69.
This is what we're going to do.
You know, like grown and then she like smiles really big and she goes, that's my age.
And that's got a laugh.
Yeah.
That's what gets like.
That's what gets Kendo out because he thought that was adorable.
Gendo is just like, that was so cute.
She was so cute.
Then another guy, uh, Zikoshi calls his helper in and it is some guy who says that, uh, he's
there.
He was trying to do a lady kabuki act, but he's like, he can't find his costume.
And so that's somebody else's Zikoshi's helper was the guy that looks like, uh,
Rivers Keomo.
He comes out.
Yeah.
That's that.
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
No.
The kabuki guy was, he had just like the kabuki makeup and he was naked.
There were two kabuki guys.
There were two.
Yeah.
So yeah.
He comes in as a coach.
He says, Hey, you need to do a lady kabuki act.
And he's like, dude, that's a lot of prep.
Uh, and so.
Oh, was it?
But yeah, it did sound like I was describing.
I didn't get the kabuki.
It did sound like I was describing the other one.
You're right.
So he's like, Hey, do a kabuki act.
The lady kabuki act that takes a lot of prep.
And he's like, go, go, go, hurry up.
And he runs in the back, comes out .1 milliseconds later, butt ass naked and screams, I'm a woman
and just pulls up his junk.
And, uh, he does like a happy clapping dance.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
And then he goes, I'm a woman.
But the thing that got him was how fast he got naked.
And I timed it and it was three seconds and he's wearing nothing tear away.
He's got jeans.
He's got sneakers on.
He's got a sweater.
Two layers.
Yeah.
Yes.
T-shirt and sweater over it.
And glasses.
So the second like that curtain closes, it rips back open and he sprints back out fully naked.
And it should be impossible.
Like I thought of the first time I saw that, I thought they were using like twins.
Like, is this the prestige?
Am I watching the prestige?
Magic tricks too good.
That was the stupidest joke that made me laugh really hard.
And I think it was the energy with which he enters the room.
Like, you know, in anime when they, they do that thing where they like kick two feet up
into the air and fly through the air, even though that doesn't seem like humanly possible.
Like that was the way he entered the room.
Just nothing in his body was touching the ground.
He just rocketed in and he's fully nude.
Pure adrenaline.
The adrenaline of someone who's not normally naked in front of others.
Yeah.
That's how he meets.
They reveal he's never met after like, after somebody laughs, Matsumoto comes in,
who apparently is like really big in the Japanese comedy scene.
He's like an executive of his own, you know, studio and everything.
And so this newcomer comic who just got completely naked is standing there completely naked
and Matsumoto comes in and goes, nice to meet you.
And he has to like bow very deeply.
Yeah.
Like I've never seen you with clothes.
It's like meeting Adam Sandler and you're totally nude.
That has happened.
I'm sure many, many times.
There's another Yamachi.
I was very impressed with this.
Another one where he comes out dressed as like a chiropractor.
Oh man.
And he has people come up and he's going to like work on their bunions
and he just starts sucking their feet, licking it from heel to toe, like dead face.
It's the suddenness because he times that so well where he asks for their foot.
And like the second it touches his leg, he deep throats the man's entire foot.
And he's just so, so stunned that he's just on the ropes immediately
and just erotically tongue bathes every inch of this man's foot
as he just writhes and screams and finally laughs.
He gets two people with that, two people right in the row.
Yes, I want to agree to it after.
Is that tickling though?
Like I felt like if that were me, my feet are very ticklish.
I would be laughing because he's tickling me, which one of the guys said I would.
That's tickling.
And I agree with that.
There was a long discussion about that.
And I think that's, I think that's fair.
I like, see, that's why I find the show fascinating is that they can then see
there and be like, well, do you think it was the tickling
or do you think it was the suddenness or do you think it was the,
the motion he used to dive to deep throughout the foot?
I believe that that suddenness of that motion was what made you laugh
and not the tickling.
Right.
They had a whole fucking courtroom drama about it.
Got to sit there and argue the finer points of deep throating a man's foot suddenly.
Yeah.
And that's another thing where I was very drawn in where I had like a strong
opinion on it.
I was like yelling at the TV, like that's tickling.
There's a bit I loved where cheekbones was like, hey, let me take a picture of you.
And then he quickly takes a picture of himself.
And then Ken Coba, who's the local bully, he says like, dude,
I know what that fucking is.
You do that as your act.
And then everyone's kind of like, oh, dude, you're doing your act.
And then everyone starts ganging up on him.
They're like, people laugh at that.
And he's like, just very wholeheartedly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is what I do.
This is my bit.
I take a picture of myself at the last second.
Not everything has to mean something, guys.
And this is like a recurring thing is that they never laugh at anybody's act,
both because they've seen it before and because scripted kind of prepared
comedy is not what makes other comedians laugh.
Like you get how it works.
It hardly ever works on you, especially like in the moment.
And so this comes up a lot in the show.
And I would like to reiterate because we're not talking about it enough.
I think because we hate it is how often Zacoshi is in between all of these bits
that we're discussing that we actually liked, just going,
just going,
and then falling over and pulling his dick out and waving it up and down and
going,
and everybody is fucking cracking up.
They're getting cards left and right.
He gets like five points.
He gets no cards.
This whole show,
he's absolutely destroying and is involved in none of the bits that we liked.
Well,
yeah, to add a layer to the fart Monica bit,
Zacoshi is running around them in a circle in a luchador mask.
It looks like a tiger with no shirt on and very tight pants and slapping his
belly the entire time they're doing fart Monica and not getting any,
any laughs, but just like adding color to it.
Well, Junior was sitting there like trying not to die.
Yeah.
At that.
Just this,
this man in a luchador mask quietly dancing and he was like,
that's the funniest thing they cut to him again.
They cut to Matsumoto going, how can anybody withstand this?
How can anybody withstand this slot of silliness?
There's a bit that they played that seems like a pretty standard improv game
where they,
they took a bunch of pictures of people and put it on the table and then
whoever has like a funny thing for them to say slaps the table and like improv
is a catchphrase for them.
It's really nothing.
It's, it's,
you know,
whose line is it anyway type of game.
So there's a bit that gets two of them out where they like slap at the same
time and they look at each other like, oh, are you going to go?
Are you going to go?
And just that little meat cute makes them both laugh,
which I thought was hilarious.
But,
but the best one was cheekbones slaps the table.
He's like, oh, here comes my joke.
And he goes,
he looks at a picture of this guy and he goes,
don't hug me around the waist.
And like, of course,
everyone's like, what the fuck was that?
And, but it was like so dumb that after a couple seconds,
it just hits a guy like how incompetent that was.
And he starts laughing.
Well, he realizes after a minute,
he's like, what the fuck was that?
And then the cheek guy goes, I don't know who he is.
So he just thought this looks like the kind of man that would say,
don't hug me.
It's like the levels that you go.
How badly that did not work is what works.
Yeah.
That's what I really enjoy the language barrier where they're doing it.
The language barrier when they're doing the catchphrases for these people
and not a single one makes any sense to any of us.
So I didn't know that like that was a bad catchphrase.
Maybe this guy famously doesn't like to be hugged around the waist.
Yeah.
How is this any worse than what anything else you have said?
I don't understand.
One of the other ones was like,
there are too many cars outside.
Right.
Like classic.
Maybe he sells you some cars.
I don't know.
Yeah.
There's a lot of them where I'm like,
I did car commercials or something.
Like I just assumed I didn't know something.
But when he said that, I just kind of knew in my heart,
he'd fucked up.
He just said something that doesn't mean anything.
He had no confidence in the delivery.
So there's a point later in the show, very late.
We're actually pretty late in the show where he puts more contacts in,
like Marilyn Manson contacts,
and he comes back out and he doesn't have a bit or his bit got like step
or something.
So he never gets to do anything with them.
And he just wanders around for a very long time with Marilyn Manson
contacts in with like nobody talking about it.
And so that finally comes time for him to take the contacts out.
And maybe this is the bit he's like,
I don't know how to take contacts out.
And so he's trying to like,
which is nothing.
And so he's trying to take contacts out.
And then all three of the others, I think it's a,
is it juniors Akoshi and Yama Uchi.
I'll like go down to the other side of the table across from where he has
to look and like peer shyly over the table at him.
And I thought that was pretty funny, like at the point.
Yeah, I love that.
And then Zakoshi completely ruins it by standing up
and like putting his balls on the table.
Shoving them out of the way.
Shoving them out of the way.
And I'm like, come on, that's nothing.
That fucking gets it.
It gets cheekbones.
And he even says, what am I doing?
I'm laughing at somebody's balls.
That's one of my favorite quotes.
I will say he really put them down with some force.
And there was like a slap sound that was pretty good.
It is good.
They cut to his exit interview and he once again says,
Zakoshi is too tough.
He is.
He's amazing.
Another guest, someone brought in a smiley face,
brought a guy in that he was just playing like a high school bully,
but he was like a 50 year old man.
And he makes Zakoshi take off his shorts.
And then he starts pants.
Yeah.
And then he makes junior take off his pants.
And so he started to pull his pants down and it makes junior
laugh because it was just so clumsy.
Like it was just so dumb.
And also he couldn't take his pants off.
Right.
Because he's wearing like skinny jeans.
Like at that point, Zakoshi at this point in the show,
this is kind of getting late in the show,
he is just in like a speedo.
Stealing a speedo is nothing, but junior is in like skinny jeans.
He's got combat boots all laced up.
So he goes to pull down his pants and like the mic comes with it
and gets around his ankles and junior starts like tying,
untying his boots, trying to cooperate with the bit.
And then he freezes for like a second and then starts laughing
because he's like, I'm untying my boots to help you strip me
for a bit.
And it's just, it's not working.
40 minutes.
Especially because he's supposed to be like stealing his pants.
And he's like, Oh, let me help you steal my pants.
I can tell this is hard for you.
It just stomps them.
And here at the end, I guess,
was there more we should talk about or should we just skip?
No, I'm good.
The one thing that we didn't talk about that I wanted to ask you
about that I should have mentioned in the beginning,
but forgot was, did you guys understand the shirt that said
salt and mugs, California slack life?
No idea.
Is that anything?
Did you understand the shirt that said, excuse me,
I'm growing my bangs out?
I didn't see that.
That was Yamauchi's shirt, I think.
Okay.
It just had a woman with bangs and it said, excuse me,
I'm growing my bangs out.
And I kind of loved it.
I was like, I don't know why, but that gets me.
I want that shirt.
Okay.
Yeah, I just, I was like, is salt and mugs, California slack
life?
I kept saying it over and over to myself,
trying to make it into like, yeah.
Okay.
So that's nothing.
Okay.
That's nothing.
That's what our tattoos say in Asian script.
Yeah.
That's what they'll think of you.
That's what my Asian back tattoo says.
It comes down to the end of the show and the entire,
like the entire last episode,
the last episode is only like 40 minutes long.
They're usually an hour.
The entire last episode is just Zikoshi and junior.
And junior we've established thinks Zikoshi is funny as hell.
Every time he makes the stupid face.
Yeah.
Every time he gets his dick out and the entire last 40 minutes
of the show are just the most annoying guy you've ever seen
going dirt and swinging his dick around.
And another man just going, oh my God, he's so powerful.
This is comedy genius.
What am I going to do?
He has no offense at all.
No, he's just trying to survive.
It just shuts him down completely.
But here's the thing is that monkey that repeats the things you say.
They turn that on.
And so he's screaming this crazy shit Zikoshi is just screaming
nonsense sounds and the monkeys repeating him and the nonsense
sounds get longer and longer and longer.
And that's where we discovered the monkey repeats from when you
start talking and seems to have an unlimited duration.
So if he screams for 40 seconds,
the monkey then screams for 40 seconds.
And it's so fucking funny.
But then it was Junior's idea to set the monkey out to try to get Zikoshi.
But then like halfway through when he realizes what's happening
in this feedback loop, he has to reach out and turn the monkey off
because he's just getting himself.
Yeah, which is like a genius plan.
If you have no nothing you can do,
just let the guy scream at the monkey until he laughs.
That could work.
It might. Yeah.
The monkey like made me laugh out loud alone watching this show.
The monkey was funny as shit.
And that was brought by the least funny guy next to Zikoshi,
Kano Aiko, the cheekbone guy.
Just brought the monkey.
What a genius prop to bring.
Great job.
Yeah.
He had a bit where he came in as like a lady nutcracker.
Cheekbones did.
And he'd like needed a PSP cable.
You guys have a PSP cable.
And they ask him what he's playing and he's like,
Oh, it's my great pleasure to be playing Tetris.
Like he didn't even have a game ready.
Nothing ready.
But except for I'm going to come at the entirety of this kid was I'm
going to come out dressed as Lady Nutcracker and ask for a PSP
cable and nobody understood it.
And they kept trying to like find where the bit was supposed to go.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're trying to build it for us.
That was the same as his other bit, his I'm half Japanese bit.
It's like he has sort of an idea for a character,
but no idea of how to make that character funny.
He's like, I'm just going to kind of walk out and be like, this is it
guys.
What do you think?
I'm Jeff.
I like bikes.
Oh, is that it?
And this is going.
The opening of do you have a PSP cable though?
That did make me laugh.
It's so weirdly specific.
And what do you think it would do with a PSP cable right now?
Like I did like that.
Yeah.
No follow up.
Like immediately because it was so weirdly specific,
I did not laugh because my brain was like, oh,
this is a reference to something I didn't get.
And then I laughed later when it became clear.
This is not a reference to something.
Yeah.
That's his secret.
He's so terrible at it that it hits you that.
What am I missing?
I'm not missing anything.
He's a fucking idiot.
And that's funny.
That did get me several times.
It was just like the realization of I'm not missing anything.
He's just fucking stupid.
Which is what he promised.
Like we got what was on the box.
He was the most self-aware man on this show.
I'm just an idiot and nobody laughs.
Wish I wasn't, but this is how it is.
So we talked about how Junior actually got put out by that weird bully
pulling his pants off.
So Koshy does not get the kill for the final,
even though at this point he's got five points.
He's got more points than anybody else on the show and has not had any cards.
Right.
And I would give him six because Junior had three points,
but one of those was actually when Zakoshi was playing the harmonica with a monkey.
They gave the point to Junior because Junior put the monkey in front of him,
but like Zakoshi executed the laugh.
Well, Junior gave him the harmonica and I would argue that's what made the point.
I would give them the message.
Yeah.
Right.
So Zakoshi basically is completely dominated.
Almost everything that's happened, he's been involved in.
He probably has half the laughs on the show.
So he now wins, but he sort of didn't get the final point.
And I guess they decided like, okay, fuck, we got to have a better ending than this.
So they say there's like 40 minutes left.
Zakoshi's by himself.
They're like, all right, we're just going to fucking have everyone else come out
and try to make you laugh while you're here by yourself, which is unprecedented.
It's just like we're just dedicating the show to fucking with you now.
Yeah, I thought it was such BS too.
I was mad about it.
I'm like, this guy's dominated the show and you're going to make him go through the,
I get why, like it's a TV show, but like it for fairness purposes.
I think that Hitoshi just didn't like that.
It was too easy.
It was too easy.
He didn't have any cards.
Yeah.
Like you're not getting out of the show with no cards.
Yeah, without any.
It was the most dominant victory in the history of the show.
The cleanest win.
I don't know why they didn't just stop it there, but they kept going.
So they, they bring them in and they bring in Ken Koba and Akiyama and they do their very famous passionate hand job routine.
They do the hand job routine again.
They did it on season three and they come back out and he like, they come back in together and they're like, I know what's going to get him.
I'm going to give this man a complete hand job with lubrication right in front of him.
Yes.
Yeah.
I can't stress enough how much it was just him giving the guy a hand job.
That's all it was.
And it was so long.
They have him lay down on a table and then they have Zakochi sit right in front of his head and like look deep into his eyes while another man just starts giving him an under the underwear, full grasping lubricated hand job for, I want to say, 20 minutes, just 20 minutes of him just getting a hand job.
I left the room for part of it.
I was like, okay, I can go do other things right now.
They decide to be fair.
There was a propeller move that was a comedic hand job, but other than that, it was mostly just what it was.
And you could tell Kendo was trying to fix his one regret, which was that he didn't ejaculate.
He was really trying.
He was going for it.
He was trying.
He thought that was going to seal the deal and that didn't work so that they've made Zakochi get on the table and they made him get a hand job.
Which is, again, tickling.
The way he was touching him, I swear, was tickling.
Well, I wouldn't describe a hand job as tickling, but okay.
But there was a swirling.
It was a pretty tickly hand job.
Yeah, it was a tickly hand job.
And he's under his underwear and he's touching his skin.
And I just thought, I think they shouldn't be allowed to touch.
I think it would make me much more comfortable if they couldn't touch.
Yeah, certainly.
It would certainly be a lot more ethically viable if they're not allowed to touch.
But that's how fucking fearless Zakochi is, though.
He agrees to a tickly hand job on a TV show where he's not supposed to laugh or cheat on his wife.
Like he's game for anything.
Just do it.
And then he farts on Akiyama during this.
And he says some shit that Amazon didn't even translate.
It's like four lines that it didn't translate.
And those are the only.
I thought my subtitles were broken, but no, they were like.
The subtitles were turned off.
You can't know.
Whatever Akiyama said was fucking filthy.
And so, uh, I, I love that Zakochi was fully spread eagle getting his loins rubbed.
Just like nothing's going to make me laugh.
I'm fucking do whatever, whatever you want.
Um, and at this point.
Then Matsumoto.
Yeah, Matsumoto in the background watching on his fucking doctor claws,
supervillain layer says he just muses.
Like, I would love to see Jimmy do this.
And then seconds later, Jimmy walks in and says, I would like a hand job.
And so they sit everybody else down.
There's not like three people on a couch, one guy on a table and another guy is
giving Jimmy a hand job, like this weird little gremlin of a man that you
should not touch.
You shouldn't touch him.
Hand job school, just watching, learning how to do it.
And this is the last 40 minutes of this show is just various men getting
hand jobs on a table.
Yeah.
And I did not like, I don't like to think of Jimmy as a sexual creature.
He's more of like a giant special needs baby.
And so watching him have like this sort of erotic experience was troubling to
me.
Yeah, he didn't look like he knew what to do with it.
It was a very Jeff Fahey lawnmower man type of moment for me.
And like he was starting his dick like a Boy Scout fire.
Like out of between his hands.
And he was like, and Jimmy is screaming stop.
And so all of it is just uncomfortable in a lot of directions.
And what's also weird is that Akiyama seems to know all the catch phrases,
procedures and protocols for a hand job.
Yeah, he seems to have that down.
It's not like a comedic bit.
It's like, Hey gentlemen, it's more fun if you bring your friends.
It's like, dude, someone said that to you at a massage parlor.
And he's like, Hey, do you want this VIP treatment?
And it's like, yeah, this is all real shit.
Someone said to you.
I like to think he learned all those techniques from an actual hand job
place, including the propeller.
I hope so.
I hope he was like, this is funny.
When this was over, they were all broken in so many ways.
They were all, they gave up after that.
Like that's why that that was so long because they showed us every single
second of it.
They didn't cut an instant because after that, nobody wanted to go back in.
There was Takoshi.
They were like, that man is not going to laugh.
He's not human.
And yet he does when Akiyama comes in with just like a really creepy skin mask.
And that's what gets him.
He smirks a little, probably wouldn't have got any card anywhere else,
but he does get one card from a guy in a skin mask.
The only thing that makes him laugh is when you wear another man's face.
Yeah.
That's the only thing he thought was funny.
It's called the Travolta.
And then Jimmy runs back in to do the Miko desk, desk bit again,
which nobody ever understood and never came close to working.
And he thinks that should be in the finale.
Yeah, that's, that is basically the, the last thing that happens.
No, no, the, the last bit is, I love this.
It was just the guy that smoked the entire time coming back into the room
and saying, why don't you laugh?
Fucking laugh.
I'll fucking you, dick.
And shoving him and just saying, why don't you try laughing?
Just laugh.
Like he was so frustrated.
And he's just shoving the guy.
He's like, just lure off, just do it.
See, I think it's fascinating like watching that last 40 minutes or so where
it's pure raw animal desperation.
Like this is kind of like watching men try to kill each other on like an island
for food.
It's just such a, such, such a like inhuman desperation where everything
breaks down and nothing makes sense.
And people are just like wandering off.
And this guy will not laugh and you can't do anything about it,
but it's your job to still keep trying over and over again.
Yeah.
It's torture for everyone.
Everyone but Sakoshi who's having the time of his life.
Who's loving it.
The monster that lives on this island.
It's just like yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Like eating up all these little boys that have come here.
And like I said, running around doing bits when they're not in the room,
he's the only one left.
There's no one to make laugh.
And he's like making his stupid faces for himself.
Yeah.
I like to think Jimmy was in the back just unhinging his jaw like a hungry
hippo the way he does.
One of my favorite things about Jimmy was that he comes back in as a zombie to
do his bits after he's already eliminated, but he still thinks he can't
laugh.
So every time he wants to laugh, he does that unhinged to like fucking
carp mouth face.
And people keep telling him, Jimmy, you can laugh.
Jimmy, you can laugh and he can't do it.
Like on three separate occasions, he comes in and forgets that he can't
laugh.
And he's doing like his carp face.
People are like, Jimmy, what are you doing?
And I would think that would be your biggest advantage as a zombie is that
now you can laugh.
Right.
Laughter is contagious.
Use that.
He can't get it through his head that that's through there.
Anyway, so that's, that's how the Koshy wins dominates completely.
Found it utterly fascinating.
His like the exit interview they do, they cut to everybody talking about like,
he's invincible.
He's so powerful.
He's amazing.
And then Matsumoto just goes, he's a true champion without a doubt.
The Michael Jordan of making silly faces.
Of going dirt and having his dick out.
He's a true champion of dirt and dick out.
The Meryl Streep of showing you his balls.
My dick here.
Grubowski is a kid who isn't a fair-haired kid on the block because everybody wants
to be that kid.
That's a smith.
And Grubowski has to, is a bad guy a little bit, but not a bad guy.
Grubowski has to work a little bit harder.
It's the American dream.
Here are the most supreme Grubowskies I know.
Freefinger Loewe Grubowski.
Aaron Crosston is one hell of a Grubowski.
Adrian H. Grubowski.
The H stands for Grubowski.
Aidan Moeck Grubowski.
The scientist Javo Grubowski.
Andreas Larson is so Grubowski it has become a problem with friends and loved ones.
Armando Nava Grubowski.
Benjamin Sironen Grubowski.
Bim Talzer Grubowski.
Brandon Garlock Grubowski.
Ryan Saylor Grubowski.
Breanne Whitney Grubowski.
Brockway loves the meat milling Grubowski.
Junior.
Cyril The Grab Grubowski.
Rev Grubowski.
The Grubowski mechanic.
Chase McPherson Grubowski.
Chris Brower The Power Grubowski.
Curious Glare Grubowski.
Dan B. A Grubowski Tonight.
Dean Castello Grubowski.
Donald Finney Grubowski.
Dr. Awkward Grubowski.
My family doctor and personal Grubowski.
Eric Spaulding Grubowski.
Fancy Shark Grubowski.
Jella Ho Grubowski.
Ham Bone Grubowski.
Haraka Grubowski.
Hot Fart Grubowski.
A Grubowski is kind of a fart and an elevator of society, you know?
Javer L. Aiden Grubowski.
John Dean Grubowski.
John McCammon Grubowski.
John Minkoff Grubowski.
The Grubowski weapons master.
Josh S. Grubowski.
Ken Paisley Grubowski.
K&M Grubowski and that stands for killer new mother father Grubowski.
A Grubowski doesn't swear but he lets you know when he wanted to.
The laziest man on Mars Grubowski.
The hardest work in Grubowski.
Mark Grubowski.
The laziest Grubowski.
Matt Riley Grubowski.
Michael Lair Grubowski and Michael Wells Grubowski.
We call them the Mike Grubowski brothers.
They are not brothers.
Mike Stiles Grubowski.
Mojo Grubowski.
N.D. Grubowski and that stands for no-duh Grubowski.
They're the sassy Grubowski.
Neil Bailey Grubowski.
Neil Schaefer Grubowski.
Nick Ralston Grubowski.
Nick H. Grubowski and the H stands for Grubowski again.
Ozzie Olin Grubowski.
Patrick Herbst Grubowski.
Rain Vargas Grubowski.
The Grubowskiist Grubowski.
Rhiannon Grubowski.
Rich Jocelyn Grubowski.
Sarkovsky Grubowski.
Who was already part Grubowski.
The ski part.
Toasty God Grubowski.
Osakula Grubowski.
Tommy G Grubowski.
And the G stands for good.
Yossarian Grubowski.
And Timmy Lehi Smith.
You know what that means Grubowski's.
This man is a natural born enemy of Grubowski's everywhere.
I declare a Grubowski holy war.
Every true and faithful Grubowski must pick up axe and flame
and take to the streets to...
No get off me.
No corner of this earth can be rendered safe for a smithler.
I will not take this through.
I have justice on my side.
You can't silently Grubowski's.
We are legend.
We are Grubowski.
We will have our revenge.