The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 72, Christian Dinosaurs with Katie Goldin!

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Seanbaby asks Brockway and special guest Katie Goldin a simple question: If science is so smart, why are all dinosaurs Christian? We need to go through an exhaustive list of Creationism books to answer that question, and we don't get there! God: 1, Hot Dog: 0!

1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG Our podcast slams with maximum hype Say HOT DOG podcast word Yeah When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on

You know the number 1-900 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG 1-900 HOT DOG

Yeah 9000 You're in the dog zone 9000 The weekly 1-900 HOT DOG podcast We have a website and a patreon We're funded by listeners like you I'm the internet's Sean baby from the online web And my co-host is Robert

The Wrong Way Brockway Krabaski Robert Brockway here's a Brockway fact I invented Heelys You know those shoes with the little wheels built in Not those A different thing No follow up questions God damn it

Well we're happy to welcome back our dear friend A brilliant writer and researcher For some more news and the host Of the creature feature podcast Our precious Katie did Katie Golden Hey guys Benvenuto from Italy

From America to Italy Benvenuto guys I love that guy Ciao Ciao come and stay I didn't know your Italian was that good You're like a local Un poco

I just I don't even understand it Without the hand gestures I need those I'm a visual learner Yeah are you gesturing? I mean they are pretty important Yeah So it's the middle of the night where you're at It's 9pm

So sure I guess that's not that late Italy's just starting to party I was a little baby If I was a stupid little baby With a bedtime of 9pm She's gonna go out after this Have lunch and take a nap and start drinking at like 4

That's right So what are you working on over there in Italy? I wasn't expecting this question This is how we banter I throw real fucking hard curveballs Yeah I mean it's mostly just Life Still doing my creature feature podcast

Doing my projects Trying to do some painting With gouache Paint Which is kind of like watercolor But it's thicker What are your subjects? And

New Italian then That's gotta be Italian New Italian men covered in insects Oh Very, that sounds really interesting It's niche but it Pays well Yeah I'd buy some

I'm down for some commissions The clients are willing to pay out the nose Just a little bit of insects on mine Chef with like full body Suit of Beatles is what I want I want just a beret the rest fully nude A beret of bugs Whatever you're feeling

Centipede, spiders, whatever Chef? What about like one ladybug On the nipple We're just covering the naughty bits One ladybug covering the naughty bits I want the opposite How big do you think ladybugs are?

Well let's see The size of one human naughty bits I might be revealing something about myself I look ridiculous naked So Why you're here today We're going to use your gifted And brilliant creature mind

To see if we can debunk Some of the myths I've learned from Or maybe science, I've learned from Creation science books Oh this is gonna be impossible It's pretty airtight Their science

So I read Six creation science books For years last night I read The great dinosaur mystery solved By someone in Ken Ham In 1998 Sorry, Ken Ham

Ken Ham He loves Ken Ham And he can ham So I didn't like this book Because about half it was appendix And the other half was bible quotes So I threw it out Then I read Exploring God's World

During the scientific mysteries of God's creation From the year 2000 Her name was Caroline Carroll So we've got Ken Ham And Caroline Carroll This book was mostly puns And it can absolutely fuck itself

And Michael and Caroline Carroll Can suffer forever in hell Then I read Dinosaurs of the Bible Barney And Beyond by Phil Phillips from 1994 And it's actually pretty good Phil Phillips We've got

Ken Ham Caroline Carroll And Phil Phillips And Phil Phillips This is like when somebody puts me on the spot to make up a name I just Bob Bob Bobbins

Is my name So I didn't like this one either Because even though it was great Phil Phillips spent his entire life battling against Satan In every form he takes Which is almost literally every form Including Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles The scientific method, whatever

So I figured this guy deserves his own Like episode if we're doing Phil Phillips So I eliminated him too So the three books on creation Science, Intelligence, Design I did include are, they're fantastic And in case I needed some era-specific context To decipher their very complicated science

I pulled three more books Not necessarily on dinosaurs, just on creation Science in general. So my brain is filled With Really bad, stupid shit right now You fucked up, this is a mistake You're not going to be able to fully unlearn this Parts of it for sure, but like 20 years from now

Some neuron will retain this And you will be like, yeah Tyrannosaurus are, they could talk They spoke Spanish and that's why God killed them He doesn't like that That's real, I think that was in at least four of these books I did not actually need These extra books on Creation Science

Because this stuff is very fluid Meaningless and beneath the contempt Of the dumbest third grader If you think there's anything at all to Creation Science Other than a few broken pieces of middle school Biology duct tape to God magic You're a fool, none of these books needed to be written Ignorance is smarter than this shit

So I guess Katie Are you familiar with this kind of stuff Apologetics, Intelligence, Design Yeah, a little bit, I mean I Didn't have a religious upbringing I was sort of raised By the forest Good

So I am A child of the woods So I don't I don't know Or I cannot conceive of religion My science is the sunlight Through dappled leaves But you can talk to butterflies

And I mean that's equal Yeah, exactly And so I But I have looked up Some intelligent design creationism Stuff online because it is Funny And there is one

Website I remember Where they have this picture of A human man Covered in Penises And the idea What's that website? What's that URL exactly?

I'm going to let me see Creationism Evolution man Man penises And you said you were open for commissions Like you could maybe paint that For me? I did find it

Covered in hissing cockroaches is kind of my thing Yes So So the Idea Is that They have actually A normal looking man called

Evolution man because His anatomy makes sense because God built him And God built you with 50 days Yes, his genitals are tastefully Covered with leaves As God dictates Because

As God dictates What's fun is that they're just Autumn leaves not like the big leaves So it's kind of fun and festive Thanksgiving themed naked man And then there's evolution man Evolution Vestigial

Dicks And he's got feet on his shoulders More dicks on his Like On his elbows I feel like I just have the link to this so I am Showing it to you it's too good to not

Thank you we'll put that in there Put notes So Yeah and then he's got like a On his body and he's very wide And stretched out and then he's got Like a couple of noodles growing out Under his underarms

So the Point of this is that if evolution Is just random mutations Shouldn't you just get a bunch of Penises on your arms Yes That's exactly right I did forget to mention his face

Is covered in a bunch of little Dicks which is cute Well as everybody knows The dick gene is extremely dominant If God wasn't here to keep it in check Everything in this world would just be dicks It is God's primary job To mitigate the rampant

Dick gene It is science I love that That is the essence of creation science really It's more designed to throw Enough doubt for a lunatic to point and say See look everything would be All dicks if God hadn't done this

For instance In the 1930s some people Found some human footprints in the same rock layers Dinosaur footprints in Texas You probably heard of this You heard about this You heard about this Monica Lewinsky you heard about this lady

Turns out they were wrong I can feel your chin through this The point is that There's no human footprints With dinosaur footprints and it was either a bunch Of people who were lying or very mistaken But every single one of these books Bring up that incident

The creation science version of proof Is someone making shit up 100 years ago But it also works as disproof So that's like The level of Proof we're dealing with I guess So if someone can draw a picture It's kind of like that

Is that kind of like that parable where it's like You're on the beach And then dinosaur Jesus carries you So there's only one set of dinosaur footprints That's Well the opposite of that But yes you're on the right track You're using it to disprove the theory

Whereas I'm using it to prove the theory But they're both equal and effective I think No I'm confused God damn I read too many I would rather walk with dino christ If that's the poll we're taking right now The point is all of this

Can be summed up in one sentence If everything's wrong and God Is magic and exists And that's it there's no reason to write a second sentence About any of this So If there was a second sentence it would be There would be dicks everywhere

Allow me to illustrate I love that That's a reasonable proof for them Like hey dude if evolution was real Wouldn't we look like this This is my idea of the perfect man And And they're not wrong

And that's the other thing about these guys Is their instincts are good Sometimes you're like it would be cooler If there were 50 dicks on your arm And dinosaurs And so you're like it's Sometimes you want to side with them But we're going to start with a book called

Dinosaurs and the Bible By Brian Thomas a very disappointingly normal name Could last forever You're sure it's not Brian What's column Tom Ham Ham Ham Ham

This was written in 2013 This is the most recent dinosaur bible book I have Which This is a couple years before some big paleontology moves So For example in 2015 I think Brontosaurus came back For many years we thought a patosaurus was

What we were supposed to call him and they're like you know what fuck it There's a different guy named Brontosaurus That guy his fan base is not catching on And Also scientists went feather crazy With the dinosaurs So this was sort of pre feather crazy But post feather theory

If you know anything about dinosaurs Or feathers then you probably know what I'm talking about I'm being very cagey Yeah they found some Evidence of that Dinosaurs a lot of dinosaur species Probably had feathers You know even things like

T-Rexes may have had feathers Juveniles And yeah so it's pretty fun And you know with a lot of colors A lot of fun things going on Yeah I like the fancy dinosaurs Like if we're voting to keep it I like the little You know Mardi Gras

Tyrannosaurus better I'm sort of Jurassic Park style I like my dinosaurs no feathers Like a Brazilian Parade like Carnival style Velociraptors that's what I like If you could accessorize with 50 dicks Then I'd be like okay

There's probably a nice variety Like there were probably still dinosaurs Especially adult dinosaurs That did not have Were not like covered in feathers Like I don't really necessarily buy Sort of the T-Rex is a giant chicken Kind of hypothesis

But definitely like baby T-Rex May have had this like downy Downy feathers which is I think adorable It'd be nice to pet them too There's a lot of benefits Okay so we've got two votes feathers One vote no feathers But I can get talked into it

So he introduces His book by saying Basically throwing Doubt on fossils in general He thinks that Basically all the fossils Alien discarded like Chicken bones that's my thing

Right a lot of theories get thrown around like that When I was a kid these people thought That there was That God put the bones there as like A trick to like test our faith I grew up in a religious house That's scamp But now

What's up YouTube it's me God Here's my news prank Left a bunch of old bones around Let's see how the humans do Oh my god they're totally buying it Oh my me I mean My name is 4 arm dick 50 50 50 Cam I'm here with

My react video of God's prank video Oh they're gonna They're gonna think those bones are real Oh god got them Jamie let's cut 70 layers of that bit I love how Like this version of God Who plants the fake fossils

Is just trying to trick Mankind into going to hell Like oh see see Are you interested in saying Gotcha now you go to hell You should have seen that God's work Coming classic God Yeah a little rascally God

I'm trying to follow along This guy's logic So this guy's his theory is that The bones Weren't put there as a prank But they're only like a thousand years old So he thinks Because again in the bible it says God made the world

Like in seven days And then later in the bible somebody's like Sort of casually references how like A dude for A god a day is like a thousand years So that became their standard And so they think that God made the world in a thousand years

Or seven thousand years And this is sort of a mad scramble To use their middle school biology To explain that Anyway I like that they capitulated a little They were like okay science you're right Seven days is ridiculous

We'll go to seven thousand years You've got to work with us there Right But if God is omnipotent Why would seven days Be ridiculous Right for a god I think it isn't

It's just that The theory doesn't work Like it's too easy to disprove that But it's harder to disprove seven thousand years Well not really But it's actually not though Like seven thousand years Would as well be seven days

When you are looking on the scale Of like millions and billions of years It's a nothing compromise It's like a ridiculous Why give anything at that point Well you guys Each have a point I think you might be right But

This guy Thought science was right Until he had a conversation When he was a science major in college This is a quote a non-science friend Is it true that a dinosaur Fossil is dated by the age assignment Given to the rock layer it's found in

But that this same rock layer is dated According to the million year age assignments Of the unique fossils it contains That's circular logic And this broke his brain That you can't use circular logic When God's law is real and the bible says

It's true so it must be true Because circular logic is bullshit So that's the intro That's just to let us You're setting me up for something That's just a window inside this author's head This guy Has a

Bachelor's degree in biology and a master's In biotechnology So that's um Apparently and then he's also From The institute for creation research I think is where he teaches or did teach And got those degrees I'm betting

I actually looked up their website And they don't offer those degrees so I think he has Secular degrees in science And Spoiler alert he is not Good at science like I feel like At no point in this book is Does this guy know more about science than me

And I just like studied in high school Uh so Uh Doesn't sound like it right um And anyway we'll We'll continue he hates the circular logic And so he kind of has this new spin That I get

Like that is not True the dating Of that that's that is In fact a lie like the way That you know Fossils and you know It is true that you can date things Through the sedimentary layers

But there you also are able to Determine the age Of rocks Through carbon dating we have And this was this book was written in 2013 right he could have googled yes And I'm really glad you brought that up because Uh he does say a lot of stuff

That's just wrong like he Acts like oh no here's what science says and then He gets it very very very wrong Yes I love the time frames on those when they're still Doing this in 2013 you're like those are the same Tactics we developed in like 1960 And it was fine in 1960

Because we didn't have All of the information Ever right at your fingertips in an instant you could pull this Game and like the game has to change Bro it's The con has to shift It does your notions 12

Now you have the same job will not work Like uh you know Uh when people tweet like Christians tweet this out a lot tim allen tweeted this Recently I mean not recently but like So it's true oh yeah no no I'm saying Tim Allen I'm not going with you over tim allen They'll tweet things like hey

If man evolved from apes how comes There's still apes and it's all shit You put that into google and it'll Tell you it'll tell you exactly why Did he make the ape sound after that Oh if he did then Fucking case close tim allen wins But uh he does

That thing where he sort of just adds a question mark To the end of something that's very very dumb And it's like that's that's fine That's that's the essence of creation Science you just you're just asking questions Questions that have been answered for hundreds of years But like still asking them there's still Some doubt right I'm going to quote from

Page 10 uh what exactly Was a dinosaur first they were reptiles Unfortunately unlike birds which all have feathers And man I agree I agree with you Katie Uh 2013 He should have been able to look up what a dinosaur Was uh

Birds which all have feathers and mammals which All have hair no reptiles Have no single trait that is totally Unique by which we can easily identify them We can say that they have scaly skin So do bird feet we can say they lay eggs But some do not and birds as well as some mammals Also lay eggs so the best

We can do is rule Out other classes of vertebrates To discern whether a creature is reptilian So um How sound does that sound to you Katie I noticed you said no a couple of times Yeah it's not great I mean first of all Birds are dinosaurs

So he's like classifying birds as a separate Group but birds Are actually Dinosaurs they are the last sort of Remaining dinosaurs On earth They were They basically branched off from

You know if you want to be really like If you want to give birds their own Category they are sort of like They evolved from dinosaurs But they are I think they're generally regarded as still being You know dinosaurs And dinosaurs

Are uh I mean first of all obviously not all mammals Have Fur or hair You know there are Plenty of marine mammals Such as citations Who really barely have any hair at all

Uh Mole rats and stuff there's plenty Well they could mole rats have some hair I mean if you're going to get technical about it How many dicks oh I got shut down I mean they have a tiny I would lose an argument to this guy I mean they do have They don't they have very little hair

That is true like they you know They have some whiskers and stuff but mostly no hair But uh the Yeah citations I mean You probably could find maybe some Sparse amount of hair On citations But even like you know

The thing that he's hitting on that Is somewhat true Is that it can be tricky to Form Classifications of animals And when you talk about fish Fish is a weird Term because there are a lot of

Fish that are more closely Related to humans than they are to Other fish because it's just such a huge Group of animals That are separated by You know many many Millions of years of evolution So you get you can get these weird

Classifications and He is also correct that dinosaurs Are a little bit strange because some of them You know some of them Are kind of different From others like some of them Were cold blooded but there is some evidence That some were warm blooded

And so yeah there is definitely Weird Weird kind of You know Different It is it is tricky to like classify Something like a group like dinosaurs And in fact some

Uh That we think of as dinosaurs Are actually not dinosaurs but Um But uh pterosaurs like pterodactyls Ketsocodilus Those were pterosaurs not dinosaurs So generally speaking

Yes but I mean to say that Uh you know You know that dinosaurs I mean dinosaurs are not Reptiles Uh or wait no they are Sorry sorry they are I guess technically reptiles

Um but like Modern reptiles And uh dinosaurs Evolved from like a common ancestor Right well I can Here's why you just lost that whole argument Uh the truth is very complicated And it took you a while with a lot of equivocation

To explain that but a real Confident lie is super simple Very fast You can come back and be just like Let me tell you Let me tell you how simple this guy makes it If god created something on day 6 It walked on land

And it counts as that If he created it on day 5 It flies So flying dinosaurs Uh like the ones you mentioned Pterosaurs uh Ketsocodilus Uh they're now called reptiles By scientists

But back then they were called You know flying dinosaurs And he just doesn't even know like the taxonomy And the point is Um The Hebrew word for bird Also means bats and pterodactyls According to this book

Uh anything that flies Got them And there's quote plenty of evidence That pterosaurs were around When people were around Because people talked about dragons a lot And like what else would that be Other than a fucking pterodactyl

All these books Talk a lot about dragons And how like the idea of dragons being in stories Is proof that we lived among the dinosaurs Yes these books Have moments of redness Um That whole spiel

With like education and facts And this guy's just like yeah but mine has dinosaurs And you lose We're actually probably alive When there were giant birds So Like uh terror birds And also Argentavis magnificens

Which was a huge Uh bird But that would be I think mostly in the Americas And Could you theoretically ride them? No I mean I don't think so I mean they were big enough Jamie let's edit that so Katie said yes

Absolutely yeah I would have been on your side You mean ride one on the ground Absolutely uh the terror bird Which was a flightless bird I mean you can ride ostriches Which are still alive But they would eat you I'm coming around to Katie again

You pulled me away I mean not me we'd establish a rapport We'd become fast friends Well here's some good news For people who love to ride dinosaurs On page 11 and 12 This guy talks about how dinosaurs were good Um

Because there was no predation Before sin There was plants they could eat And none of them wanted to eat anything else So all things lived in peace Until of course that That fucking idiot couple ate that Apple

Is that true? Is that something Christians believe That everything was vegan before Sin and And that makes eating meat a sin I don't think all Christians believe it but this one does That's a new kind I have not heard of that kind of crazy Congratulations

So Let's see I have in my notes Read paragraph 2 on page 13 Smug asshole I don't remember why I did this Um The discovery of fully functional flight

Features like the retractable Terroid bone And foldable wing construction Must disappoint secularists Since they have been searching for fossils To place onto an imaginary evolutionary path Of flight however Biblical creationists who believe the bible means

Exactly what it says when it describes how god Created each winged creature according to its kind Expected To find fully equipped fliers in the Fussles Checkmate Secular So there was some confusion

About whether or not these giant Terrorists were gliders or if they were capable Of flight And this guy's basically like The science adjusted to the new discoveries That's paleontologists discovered more bones And made smarter conclusions He's like

These fucking idiots they can't get anything right As soon as they figured out these things could fly They're like everything we know is wrong Checkmate They changed their minds With the evidence Right I do want to offer

An apology though Argentavis Magnificence Humans were probably not alive While the flying These were flying birds but whereas terror birds Think the terrestrial birds That would eat you up I think those were the ones that we were probably

Most of the ones that I could ride right Yes exactly I'm still on your side then Can Let's see what I just did I tried to put that really tactfully You tried to slip that in quiet while Everybody else was talking

Everybody's talking Let me wonder this out loud Can I fuck that big crazy bird I mean They do have a cloaca But I wouldn't recommend that Okay Fantastic

So On day five when God made all the Small animals or as I should Qualify the trinity made them And what that means is that God invented the animals Jesus Made them to be and then the spirit made it happen I don't know why he delineates these things

But it helps in the taxonomy of Animals which are day five animals And day six animals both of which are based On different words Several translations back Am I making sense Because I mean no but you know

So You've probably heard the word Heard the word whale right Yes If you backtrack a couple translations You get to a word that might have meant Dragon or sea monster So you see where Brian is going

There were totally dinosaurs and the Idiots who wrote the bible thought they might As well share a name with whales I guess So you got a dunk on those guys that Wrote the bible now to get your science Exactly you have to You're burning a lot of bridges here

Because it feels like if there's a dinosaur And a whale and I'm writing like the story Universe I'm going to Separate those two things This dinosaur is very Different than the whale No the people who wrote the bible Will just call it ocean thing

And they're like fine Idiots So he eventually explains how Dinosaurs became predators After the apple incident Yeah after sin because of sin gotcha So there was chaos There is a Q&A in this book

And we're going to see how good Either of you can answer these questions I'm going to ask them as they are Presented in the book How could Noah have squeezed The hundreds of different dinosaur species Onto the ark along with all those other animals God magic

How do you actually rank the kids? God magic God magic and shrink Those are both very good answers Invented by God Big That's shit We'll see if you're right

The answer is Noah's family Did not bring each species But two of each kind Now what he does here He admits the evolution Is kind of real but only post flood So he brings kinds of creatures And then they kind of breed with each other

Like you might get a liger Or a zorse He says that like There was some sort of prototype He brought a labradoodle A labrador and a poodle And made a labradoodle Yep, that counts as two dogs

And then he created all the Dog species and breeds after that Let me tell you I'm talking about species, I'm talking about kind You know the kinds of things There's horse kind There's frog kind And there's bird kind

And I think that's it Those are all three kinds So if you bring a horse kind You don't need any other type Because you already got that damage type covered You got horse damage You don't need a zebra damage You don't need a Neil damage

You got horse damage, it's covered Well he continues Paleontologists make careers Out of inventing species names But I don't know if that's true I don't think that's true I think that would be a great job That was true

I think he had like eight bucks A name, so like The dude who came up with The guy who did labradoodle Leaning back in his chair and being like What about Zirconflarex That's a cool name Just chasing the high

Of coming up He's the guy that came up with Tyrannosaurus And like his teens and he's just been chasing That high ever since Everybody thinks he's washed up That fucking wife came up with Argentinosaurus And he's like, God, I don't know why I let that woman Do anything

Utah, Utah Raptor That's nothing, that's just where I am Chuck Kingosaurus There were really only about 60 Different basic dinosaur kinds So 120 dinosaurs averaging The size of a sheep would have occupied A small corner of the vast vessel

Wait, averaging the size of a sheep I guess he brought babies Awww I guess they're very tiny dinosaurs Or maybe they were shrunk So God magic, shrinking and big boat You guys were exactly right I'm surprised that he didn't just say

Like he just brought the eggs You know Well That's a good idea I don't know why this brilliant biotechnologist Didn't think of that Question two How could Noah have

Fit enough food On board to feed all those voracious Dinosaurs for a whole year Just having fish So Fish and eggs Noah could have fed the dinosaurs Genesis one vegetarian diets

Which again, this is special plants that God invented At the dawn of time When they were peaceful I agree He's contradicting himself Did they save the herbivorous Dinosaurs I guess Or he like

Redverted them back I think after flood Everything that went on to the ark Went back to default Like he factory reset all of the morals So they're good guys again He may have even known which plant Products they preferred before the fall

Since Noah's father Lamech Could have talked with Adam about it Also reptiles are famous for Eating from food Dinosaurs probably ate less than the mammals Or birds on board I'd like the idea Of this moment

Where Where sin makes things eat meat now Because it's just It's such a good moment where you're God and explaining to Adam and Eve Like okay, well you just fucked up so bad That you see that thing, that eats meat now I love that

Good luck Anything that he can't explain It's just it's God magic But then he throws in Like well you know You only need like a snake Only needs to eat like once every few months So like

Dinosaurs are basically big old snakes So You can take whatever part of Science you want Or make up whatever you want Or say that the bible meant something different From what it said It's easy mode

It's science on easy mode Question three How could Noah have handled and husband Did such terrible toothy tyrants I'll tell you how I would have husband Did those tyrants It's like a box and you have them inserted Into the box and you get some good started gloves

And You just go to town You just fucking manually masturbate that tyrannosaur Oh my god, I've been on it I would say like a laser pointer Can you imagine Just like Cute little

Scampers running around After that laser pointer Snatching up your human children Once in a while it's adorable Well so we have laser pointers And manual masturbation The correct answer is It wasn't until after the flood

That God endowed animals including dinosaurs With a fear of man I think a lot of dinosaurs would be Afraid of man Well that's what he gave him After the flood he's like I'm going to make you all very afraid Of man. Perhaps this made their management Much easier during the flood

Meaning that you could just walk through The ark and they won't try to eat him I guess Just slap each of them in turn Did you know that T-Rexes could run really fast I did Yeah and I mean like What's cool is not only could they run fast

But they could run over long distances So if humans Were alive around the time of the T-Rex Is like we would have no advantage Over them because They could outrun us And they could outmarathon us So

Right but they're not allowed to eat you Unless you sin in front of them So as long as you obey the commandments Of God The first time you sin Yeah like you let a ball slip out You just like you both look at each other And are like oh fuck it's on now

The T-Rex give me like oh that's nasty I don't want to eat that Noah's father Lamech was actually old enough To talk to Adam and so he would have told His son Noah what Foods those T-Rex like to eat I think you're forgetting some of the important lessons We've already learned here guys you're just

I don't think you're taking this very seriously This is the final question that the book asks the reader How would the large dinosaurs like Diplodocus have fit The large dinosaur eggs I mean the right answer Is just the egg version Of it or the baby version

It's exactly The largest dinosaur egg is about the size of a football So even the big body behemoths Began small God would have Most likely selected sort of Juveniles Yeah it's so He eventually thought of egg but he didn't like go back

And fix the earlier entries Eggs It's too late I already typed this out on my Typewriter I can't go back and fix it Yes It's 2013 typewriter He absolutely typed this on a typewriter

I love that that was the right strategy Was just to figure out like a one working answer And stick with it until he got it Like he'll get there someday I honestly feel kind of foolish Trying to talk about the Like complexity Of classifying and sorting

Of animals earlier because I didn't realize That This is just going to turn into And then God magic Made sure the dinosaurs ate Vegetables And Adam told them what kind of Vegetables they liked

You thought you were going to be dealing with something A little bit smarter like still very stupid But in a smarter way Something that you know is like arguable But how do you just argue with like Well no he Got stuff and now they Vegetables and they're small

See Adam told him what kind of Salads the T-Rex likes And he likes to have His belly rubbed a certain way And that's science And how to call, you call them over By going pss pss pss Come on, come on sweet boy

Come on Now I want that Noah's Ark movie And if you swear it turns into Jurassic Park Now a lot of you probably are aware That dinosaurs no longer exist We call that extinction I mean there

There are birds so In my head but not my heart Well let me try to clear up some Misconceptions about the extinction If dinosaurs were really on the Ark and lived after the flood Then why do they no longer exist It was probably not an impact from outer space

That killed the dinosaurs as secularists Conjecture Other animals, dragons Of various forms Began filling the earth Immediately after the flood But people did not follow them at first Instead of obeying God's commands

To Noah Dragons started filling the earth After the flood Hell yeah they did We called it the time of dragons And that's kind of integral To the world building God was like first a big flood

And Dragons Well he says dragons in quotes meaning That these dragons are the Hebrew word for Flying thing Meaning pterosaurs And whatever Dragons

Dragons probably started filling the earth I mean If you think about it that's probably what happened He then Talks about a little Cryptozoology where he thinks That dinosaurs living today And

Man once they find one It's going to make secularists look so stupid For thinking dinosaurs are extinct Well no but I mean like a proper dinosaur Like a movie dinosaur Like the ones from the boat The bible boat Dragons

Okay so he sets out to disprove fossils For a while Scientists have a very biased and flawed World view Which is again one that involves God not making everything And so he sort of dances around different ways You can interpret evidence

And decides that the easiest Explanation is usually the best And there's no easier explanation than God made everything So It is just an endless collection Of force fields in an imaginary laser fight So I have

To read from his book but I think we're all We've all taken such a beating That we don't need to read anymore from this Um Yeah I got this guy's core ideas and I You know I like him I like him I like the dragon bits I like that you're Yeah I like that you're saying from dinosaurs

As long as you don't sin So I like that that gives us like a weapon Like a horror mechanic to use Uh Yeah he's got some good ideas Well I did want to read from page 31 It says During the years when Brontosaurus was considered

A valid dinosaur name common opinion held That sauropods the largest land creatures That ever lived were too bulky for their own skeletons To have supported their body weight Back then they reasoned that These giant four-footed supposedly Inadequate dinosaurs required a watery habitat To buoy their body's bulk

This idea better fits An evolutionary history where nature is thought To have invented creature features By blind trial and error Uh I just said they did a little shout out to kids Podcasts and I so wanted to include that But yeah so he has this theory That like since science sometimes

Had like misconceptions about dinosaurs That hey these dinosaurs are too big This must have sucked for them They probably had to sit in the water all day Again this has been more or less disproven Since that theory was Floated Uh

I guess his point is that Since science thought that at one point Evolution just makes A bunch of stupid shit And god doesn't do that Again I think it's the 50 dicks on your arm theory But we this is what's Funny about that is

With I mean first of all it is dicks So that is inherently funny but It is actually true that Evolution does result in Weird vestigial things Like dicks I mean there's I think something that needs to be

Probably most people understand this But it is one of the most Frequently misunderstood things about evolution And since like these are just random Mutations That you'll have And so everything is random And it's like well the mutation itself

Is random But the selection of that mutation What actually gets passed down Is absolutely not random It's driven by natural selection Uh and that can be From the environment From predators

From a need for uh you know some kind of Like environmental need It can even be sexual selection So it's sort of like You know you have The only random element is What happens with your DNA like the mutation that happens

But if that mutation Causes like your eyes to turn Into dicks You're not gonna probably Create or you will very much And we'll have a society Of uh dick-eyed people Dick-eyed wonderbeasts

Another reason you don't just have Like random like You would never have a mutation That turns your eyes into dicks because The way that Uh the way that like Embryonic development and Uh you know basically

You have certain Cells that can Transform into certain Body parts so like you can Sometimes have a mutation Where you have like an extra finger Or a webbing with your toes Uh but you're not gonna have

Like a hand Where your eye is supposed to be So Uh and it feels like this guy Should have known that uh Since he has a four year degree in biology I'm gonna just insist That uh that that's probably

From like his own like He started his own college like is the college The what's his name Brian Thomas Is it from Brian Thomas University You know BTU Uh it does not say where he got his Degree or his master's from So um he goes through and

He cites uh you're probably familiar With the behemoth which is something that Gets mentioned in the bible I am not uh and Oh well it's it's this Job um god's like hey Job the behemoth or the behemoth Yeah Job the behemoth he's great

He's a pro wrestler uh but no God said hey consider the behemoth He eats grass he's got legs like tree trunks He got a swing and tail And if I can make him then I must be Fucking fantastic right I'm paraphrasing Um so Christian scientists look at this

One passage of the bible where he says behemoth And they're like well he's obviously talking about dinosaurs Right like why else would you Yeah it's like an elephant Yes uh most regular people Assume it's a hippo because that's like The region uh hippo would have been the Biggest creature there

Yeah the swinging tail too very much For a hippo because they actually like Will helicopter their tails to fling Shit everywhere because they love doing that Yeah see that's an evolutionary Feature that's a that's a jack Sharks I mean how could I mean how

Could random mutation create such A perfect creature that flings it's shit Everywhere though Like if I'm not so great How did I create that thing look at it fling It's shit everywhere Fucking helicopter proof I'm the best

So um this This is brought up in every book About dinosaurs in the bible as like proof that They were these men were hanging out with Dinosaurs There's also a leviathan too Which is Oh I see you're saying it's a leviathan

As well I thought you skipped over Leviathan 2 Or the origin The revenge of leviathan Leviathan 2 is a prequel but that's That's the one we're talking about Son of leviathan So there's a leviathan in the bible that comes out

Of the water and it's just obviously A fictional sea monster He breathes fire And yet They still try to make it work Dude you know how like a bombardier beetle will like Shoot acid God could make something that fucking breathed fire

Bioluminescence That could explain his glowing eyes And like multiple heads what if it was just like two Crocodiles Like anything does just make it work What I don't get is like They're like God is magical But somehow I need to explain

Breathing fire with biology Just like Have the balls to say it's just God magic Yeah that's what I didn't get from The start too about the whole creation Is something like I get religion In the bible and just I choose to believe This other thing I don't fully

Get it but I some people do that And I understand it I don't get Where your place is in this world That you're like I want to Try to like make a lot of concessions That are going to make Christians unhappy And also will not win me any respect From scientists like what the fuck

Just why It seems like It's got to just be like early era trolls Like they just must love frustrating people Because I do feel vaguely frustrated Reading these books When I say vaguely I mean very I was furious reading these books

In a good way In the way that I've chosen to live my life Another thing he talks about is the Nachash Seraph I'm not sure I'm saying that right But there's these poisonous snake monsters From numbers 21 If you want to look this up

So God sent them to kill the Israelites And then Moses saved everyone By putting up a little snake statue Because these were like snake monsters And when they bit them they got poisoned A lot like a regular snake But Moses made a little snake statue And if you looked at it you get cured

So most people read this in the bible And they're like yeah those are snakes But this guy's like come on don't be stupid Like Let me read his exact quote Most assume they were ordinary snakes But that doesn't make sense Of all the biblical data

If that were the case Could the people have simply stepped out of the way While descending a desert trail recently My right foot came within an inch Of a huge western diamondback rattlesnake It is amazing how fast Even an exhausted person can move When he suddenly encounters a venomous serpent

I imagine that the ancient Israelites Were at least as agile as I am This and other clues open the possibility That the animals in numbers 21 were flying Serpents So he's going to sound crazy But he thinks No one has ever been bitten by a snake

No it's never happened I don't even know I'm so nimble that I can defeat any and all snakes With my agility Surely Ladies the Israelites Were as agile as me So he takes that agility

He got out of the way of a snake He decided this can't be snakes He decides it's a dimorphodon Which is a very big Very big dinosaur He could have been any flying reptile But he's like no no no I'm going to just call it dimorphodon

Probably a safe bet He also gives examples from history Like French naturalist Pierre Ballon He described weird things That definitely weren't dimorphodons But you know what Maybe dimorphodons Explain more than you think

There's another story in the Bible About a guy that gets swallowed by a whale And this is going to sound crazy Joey in the whale or something Yeah Joey Joey beans in his whale adventure So he suggests that That might have been a dinosaur

Why not But what? At the end That's another good point It's not any different Well he's When you're trying to make dinosaurs happen And the only source of data

Is the Bible Like you've got to just desperately grab For whatever the Bible says And the Bible never says dinosaurs But it does say whale a couple of times So that's probably it And poisonous snakes And they were

Giant flying reptiles I choose to believe Thomas Every time they say Thomas They meant dinosaur It's not off the cuff Just read the Bible right now And it mentally inserts dinosaur Every time the word Tom

The name Thomas comes up And it works The King James King James might have had a friend named Thomas Who was known as Thomas the dinosaur So he brings up a lot of Like a lot of these people do He brings up a lot of pre-scientific method mistakes

As evidence for how science is wrong Like all the time People used to think that rotten meat made maggots Science People are dumb Actually what's funny about that Funny about that is that The rotten meat making maggots thing

Was like One of the first really good science experiments Because It was They put a jar with some meat in it Without a cover And a jar with some meat in it With a cover

And then lo and behold, only the uncovered one Got those maggots on it And that was a really early Science experiment where you had Two, you know, the control And then it's like So these maggots must be coming From

The air I mean, what's funny is You could draw the conclusion that You need oxygen to create The meat maggots But, you know, nevertheless They were zeroing in on the truth here Exactly

That was a real bad example To bring up when you're trying to disprove The concept of science The meat must have sinned This meat Was a filthy pervert And that's why it tracks maggots Yeah, it all works

He spins this wheel for about 20 pages, which I will not Bother with, but yes, he basically Is like, since mistakes exist The Bible must be correct And That's kind of how he just Spirals off into nothing

Oh, I did want to correct one thing I said so that creationists Don't like jump on my dick and get really mad It's not necessarily Carbon dating used for Things like that are always Dinosaur fossils, it's radiometric dating Using different types

Of isotopes Because, you know Believe it or not That does come up in these books a lot Because carbon dating only goes back Whatever, 44,000 years And they're like, how do they do that? Because they use different

A different thing But yeah, I just didn't want to get Like, well actually Carbon dating only goes back God, can you imagine? I can Have you had creationists like Hassley on Twitter?

No, not really, I've only had Someone get mad at me for mentioning That vaccines work Well, I mean The science is still out on that I feel like we've done a lot of Dunking on These gentlemen, so I want to switch

From dinosaurs in the Bible Because 10 years earlier than that Book, a man named Ralph O. Munkaster That's a good name We got Ken Ham Caroline Carroll

Phil Phillips Phil Phillips Ralph O. Munkaster Brian Thomas And Ralph O. Munkaster So this Ralph O. Munkaster Wrote a book called

Dinosaurs and the Bible Now, he hits on many of the same points As Brian Thomas did in his book Dinosaurs in the Bible He says that there's How else would they know how to paint Dinosaurs on pots? Brian didn't bring this up, but there's a lot of pots

That have like monsters on them He's like, well this is very fucking obvious That ancient Greeks had dinosaur pets He also admits that maybe Maybe they also found some dinosaur bones And like went from there Or maybe they just drew red monsters That had nothing to do with their lived lives

It might be that life He does a whole bunch of both sides So he just sort of offers up Yes, I do that a lot too I've never met a unicorn But I draw them all day long He offers up these theories Of how everything is wrong

And he was born just a couple generations too late To have a best friend dinosaur Which again, I appreciate, I love this If you actually believed that and how crushing it would be I would write this book too I would be so fucked up by it I wonder if they're less like religious Fanatics and more dinosaur fanatics

And their dream is to somehow Have a dinosaur pet and so they have To believe that maybe At some point it was possible It's got to be it Because I feel like dinosaurs Are very rad and you want to believe In dinosaurs and the bible says

We don't have those that didn't exist You're like, okay, I gotta fucking reconcile this But these people took that extra step To be like, not only did they exist They would have been so fucking peaceful And we could have just Husbanded them all day But Ralph O. Munkaster has a

Sort of a different take on good Like in the other book, Brian Thomas was like Okay, dinosaurs were good until Adam and Eve ate the apple And you could just hang out with them This guy says that dinosaurs exist In a different morality as humans And it was okay for them to eat things Including other dinosaurs and still be considered good

So, oh, I get it I get that immediately So that's why there are dinosaurs in heaven Yes, so So he could still hang out with the dinosaurs Because they made it to heaven Hell yeah, that's so much Different dinosaur religion

Where it's like, sure though I shall kill, why not But that's okay for them So we'll be with them in heaven Oh, that's such a like If a six year old said that I would just, I would think it was the most Precious thing in the world

This is so cute when you think of it Coming out of the mouth of a child Of like, oh no, dinosaurs are still good Because they're allowed to kill So he has some different theories On how they got all the dinosaurs on the boat as well His first theory is, they didn't They wanted to stay before the flood

And he's, again, he also thinks There wasn't a meteor impact He thinks it was a mini flood Before the big flood and that killed only the dinosaurs So that by the time Manoa was making His boat for his flood The dinosaurs were dead It flooded from like seven to ten feet

In the air Was this like a Simba situation Where someone tricked all the dinosaurs To go into a gorge And then like flooded it It is very funny you say that Because he uses a bunch of dinosaur skeletons All in the same spot as proof

That like, that must have been what happened He's like, why are there so many species of sauropods In this one fossil that Katie, you're an excellent creationist You're a fantastic Apologeticist Yeah, I love that Like the dinosaurs are having there

It's like, well, it's time for our dinosaur Convention It's like a privately located gorge Where they're supposed to be Sunny today, but I do see some rain clouds Real quick, anybody learned To swim? No? Oh, we keep meaning to get on that

Yeah, well, then how does that Explain all the aquatic dinosaurs Dying? They all dodged that I looked that up in all of these books And not a single one of them Has any thoughts on why we do not have Whatever, mosasaurus or plesiosaurus

Seems like they should have been able to survive His other theory on how He got them all on the boat Is maybe babies or eggs Could have solved the problem, let me read from page 32 In light of what we've just seen It seems reasonable to suggest That baby dinosaurs were taken aboard

The ark, after all The reptiles of today have a slow metabolism And a growth rate slower than other animals Such as mammals, so conceivably They would still be small after their one year voyage On the ark had passed Researchers who have studied the metabolism Of dinosaurs have discovered, however

That it differs substantially from the metabolism Of today's reptiles, in fact They have concluded that dinosaurs had a metabolic Growth rate similar to that of mammals Most mammals reach 100% of their full growth Potential within a year, hence boarding baby Dinosaurs would not solve The space problem inside the ark

The only solution would be if God Had provided a special state of suspended Growth through hibernation During the period of the flood So, he got there Why do you even care about biology at that point If it's like, you know If it's God magic, why

God created dinopods For the ark But yeah, why You're setting up your own hurdles And then just running into them over and over again Just don't set up the hurdle, man It's fine, just go for a walk It's super easy

Ralph had his own take on the behemoth Situation too, which again, they all bring that up He sets out to prove that the behemoth is a dinosaur He admits it sounds a little bit like an elephant But he made a spreadsheet To, like, work it out So, um The characteristics in the bible are

Feeds on grass, and now a brachiosaurus An elephant and a hippo, all of them feed on grass Check, check, check It has strength in its loins All of them, yes, yes, yes Power in muscles of belly Yes, yes, yes Tail sways like a cedar, uh oh

Elephant lies under a lotus plant Sorry, brachiosaurus, you're out too Hidden in marsh reeds, again, just the hippo So by the time he's done with all 12 characteristics He's definitively proven This thing was a hippo And he really didn't want it to be Did not want to do that, he really fucked that up

But again, we can't go back There's no such thing as a second draft There's, you can't just redo something So one thing I've learned from all of your book collections Is that lunatics have never invented The second draft, like it would change everything If they did He thinks that the leviathan

Was probably just a crocodile Uh, that Breathe's fire was just like a probably A steamy breath coming out of his nose That's a jump Like even for an idiot He discusses He discusses whether or not

Dragons were dinosaurs a lot Probably since, um He seems to think that dragons were a symbol For satan, so when the bible says dragons It actually means satan Not poorly described, Quetzalcoatlis So inverse property true than satan Is a dragon, because I'll accept that

Because of that rules Yeah, that's sort of his take on it And he actually wraps his book up A lot better than brian He like has a real conclusion page Um, so here it is on page 42 The second to the last page Which again, great job

Only 43 page book He knew that the shit was easy Get in and get out Um, so number one Dinosaurs did not exist in the roman empire During the general time of jesus Evidence indicates that study of dinosaur fossils Was already flourishing in the region at this time

Okay Uh, so they did not exist during the time of the prophets About 700 to 400 bc Uh, or during the time of moses Uh Or during the time of abraham And they're not specifically mentioned In the bible

So I don't know why he wrote this book Uh, his conclusions ended up sort of disproving Uh, the entire theory Of dinosaurs and man cohabitating Uh, bad mistake For ralph among caster It seems like he didn't want that to happen Wound up at the end of it like, oh man

You gotta give him some credit For like sticking with it Though like, oh, turns out I was, I was wrong But god God still, you know He still made those cool dinopods though I'm pretty sure

Yeah, I still think he gave him that hibernation Yeah, I'm gonna bet his life didn't change after I bet he was still a creationist I bet he proved himself wrong at the end of that And was just like, huh Well, clearly I've fucked up somewhere in there Gotta, oh, I'll add another one I'll do this again, I'll work through this again

Sitting next to his typewriter Drinking some hard liquor Staring off into space like, my god What have I done No, you know what, this is a problem with the typewriter Well, let me read his actual I'm gonna get a different typewriter and try that again I wanna be fair to Ralph and read his actual conclusion

Well, we can't be sure what god had in mind with dinosaurs We can be certain That he placed them on earth at one time in history As part of his loving provision in creation Furthermore, we know that Dinosaurs have nothing to do with the salvation That god has graciously offered to human beings So, I mean, that's like, just

But they're all in that They're irrelevant Because they don't follow the same rules as us Wouldn't they be in hell though If they were pre-salvation Well, I mean, he allowed for a dinosaur To choose its own path So I think

I think the way that works is they would all be in limbo And then they would get the choice Once Jesus came along Yeah, too many people would want to go to like Hell, I guess, if there were dinosaurs In hell, because that'd be rad I think they were good and bad dinosaurs So, you know, Elvis is up there

And he's writing No, he's down. Elvis is in hell Writing dinosaurs in hell It's like a Flintstone situation You like ride down the tail of Brontosaurus Right into brimstone fire But like John Denver John Denver is certainly in heaven

Writing just a bitch in Stegosaurus I'd love it if the Stegosaurus Had the little John Denver glasses also It clearly does This next book Comes from 1990 By someone named David Unfred Oh my god, these

So not Fred Here's the thing, though Creationists Except for Brian, what's his name All have the best names Uh-huh Fantastic names One more time with that name

David Unfred So his last name is Unfred He's the anti-Fred Or like sort of decaf Like where you take the caffey now Maybe he unfred in itself He used to be David Fred He skimmed the Fred out

Waitress This David S. Fred Is this full Fred? I specifically said I cannot do full Fred Can you strain out the Fred? Katie, you want to guess what this book is called? We'll steal it Dinosaurs

Jesus's best friends Is it called Dinosaurs in the Bible? This book is called Dinosaurs in the Bible So uh All three books Yes, yes All of them This one opens up with a quiz about the behemoth

And all of the things that the behemoth had Including eating grass and the swing tail And basically just decides You must know it's a dinosaur It's just like here you go Swing tail eats grass What's the first thing you think about? Dinosaur, right?

Now he writes Here is an important lesson There is only one way that we can know anything For sure about the prehistoric That's quotes past From an eyewitness account Someone who was there has to tell us what happened The best eyewitness

Is someone who is fully knowledgeable And truthful God himself is our best eyewitness Now it doesn't get any better than that That's a hell of a premise to lay out He Also talks about dragons As proof

Sure, like dragons obviously mean dinosaurs And he brings the full weight of logic To the case Let me see At the time of the great worldwide flood God told us that he saved at least two of all kinds Of land animals on the ark Does this mean that dinosaurs know his ark?

Yes, at least one pair of each kind of dinosaur Was on the ark And he cannot lie So this book just rules He disproves Darwin I think with Every logical fallacy you can Have

This is at least the confidence That all you know shattered Darwin's quote Darwin's quote new idea About how life began Convinced many people who chose not to believe in creation But not Sir Richard Owen In fact, Professor Owen became a strong warrior

Against evolution His vast knowledge of fossils told him that there was no evidence For one kind of animal changing into another kind And he would still be correct Today Almost 150 years later, no fossil evidence For evolution has ever been found Now, my research

My research has shown differently But God can't lie You don't even believe me or him You don't even really need fossil evidence One of the cool things About Darwin's work is The infamous Darwin's finches Which were a trained troop

Of finches that Darwin had Who would peck out the eyes Of his critics No, they were the He glued beaks onto dragons I remember this from the Bible The finches That were observed

And Their beak shapes Would change not over Millions of years, but Generationally, depending on The frequency of Different Seed types

You could actually observe this Over the course Of decades Not millennia Which is really interesting It was one of those things that showed that Well, it's true Most significant evolution occurs

Over a massive time scale But it also does occur Like on a shorter time scale Sometimes when the change is Subtle And it has The driving force behind it is so Stark

Such as really forcing these birds To specialize more in a certain type of seed Well, let me see if this changes your mind On page 14 David unfred asks What day were the dinosaurs made? God tells us in the Bible that he made the universe In every living thing in six days

God could do this because he is omnipotent Meaning all powerful, his power is not limited God made all of nature from nothing He could have made the world in six seconds Or six billion years, but he didn't He took six days God tells us why he took this long In the Bible book of Exodus

God is speaking directly to Moses So I just want to like clear things up That like he could have just done whatever the fuck he wanted This is what he did, so suck it Darwin, and you're little fictitious This is what we've been asking for the whole The whole time though with those other books Like why are you equivocating? If it's God magic

Just say it's God magic, and finally Finally the unfred comes in here And he's just like, hey, fuck you It's God magic If you've got that tool Use that tool, why are you in a slap fight When you have a gun, just bring the gun He explains

Footprints, fossilized footprints As magic gods Which um, I don't know How else to put it Magic guns, man Perhaps, why then Have some dinosaur tracks turn to rock Perhaps this was an ordinary mud over which

The dinosaurs walked or ran In fact, this is true The mud churned up and laid down by the flood Contained many special minerals As the mud began to dry, these chemicals Helped to harden the mud into rock In the same way that concrete hardens So there you go

A little bit of magic God cement He spends a lot of the book Talking about like A pterosaur that some rail workers found In 1856 And a sea lacanth that someone fished up in 1938 1977

Some Japanese boat fished up a plesiosaur And of course there's a Oh, I never heard of that Yeah, no, it's totally real Someone dug up like a half a whale And it was just all mangled And some fishing boat was holding it up You might have seen the picture

Someone was like, yeah, that's definitely a dinosaur But it was just like a wad of Whale wad Classic whale wad It does look a lot like Like at the corpse of a plesiosaur So anyway, if Something makes scientists look bad

This unfred guy believes anything And I want to read his conclusion It's pretty fantastic Basically he talks about how the flood Killed everything and then made mountains Out of the remains as a Yeah, it's pretty

It's pretty fantastic Let's go Basically as a reminder of his Terrible judgment So he says God is patient His judgment will destroy the universe And everything in it, not with water

But with fire Even so, he patiently waits For all who will come to him God is love Our podcast is coming out And with Maximal and Chow Say, Frankfurt podcast Correct

Yeah The practice is not done without Send it to the dog zoo for an hour Come on, you can do it One hundred One hundred, Frankfurt One million new One hundred, Frankfurt

One hundred One hundred One hundred, Frankfurt One hundred One hundred One hundred Rev Chase McPherson likes medium length

Beach drives Okay, yeah, alright You get that one Chris Brower Dan B D. Costello Donald Finney Dr. Awkward likes horseback riding

On the beach, see that's how you do it Chase McPherson, that's how you do it We got Erichs Balvin Jello Ho Hambone, fucking loves the beach Their words, their emphasis Harakka

Hartfart Jacob Thornberg would make a love to the beach If only society would allow it Okay John Dean John McCammond John Minkoff, Josh S Ken Paisley is the beach

I'm not following on that one, Ken Oh, he's doing a beach impression now That's actually really good K&M Laziest man on Mars Mark Matt Riley races the beach to the horizon Every night and will do so until

He catches her Hey, that's beautiful Michael Lair Michael Wells Mike Stiles Moju NDE Neil Bailey writes, if you cut me

Is it sand? He's gutting himself now Good lord, it is sand, masterfully played Neos Schaefer Nick Ralston Nick H Ozzy Olin Patrick Herbst has just legally changed

His name to Beach McSlop I get beach, is there a significance To McSlop? No, he's shaking his head No Rain Vargas Rhiannon Sarkowski Spotty Reception just bought the beach

And no other contestants are allowed on it Baby, if you like the beach There is one game in town Ted H has just murdered Spotty Reception and stolen the beach team Looking back, this one was inevitable Tim Ilehi Toasty God has dynamite and a dream

Won't you make a new beach? Together? If that doesn't work on them Toasty God Tom Segula Tommy G Yosarian And our stunning star, the center of all This attention and deserves every bit of it

The gorgeous, the talented Jaybur Al Aiden Whose turnoffs include The Beach Oh, but wait, turn-ons? Dynamite, we gotta match, let's love Supreme folks!