The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 73, Mad, Mad, Mad Magazines With Jack O'Brien!

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

Seanbaby and Brockway bring current host of The Daily Zeitgeist and former Editor-in-Chief of Cracked.com Jack O'Brien on a trip through comedy history. We examine the many, many Mad Magazine ripoffs that came before Cracked, and in the process break all of our brains in half.

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When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on You know the number One Nine Hundred One Nine Hundred Hot Dog Here on the Dow Joe 9000, the official podcast of 1900HotDog.com, the final comedy website. I'm Web 1.0 through 9.0's Sean Baby and I'm joined by Connecticut's representative

in the Dick Fight Island Tournament, Robert The Rock and She Way, Brockway. Oh, I'm going to split so many dicks. That's my move. I'm taking it. Here's a Brockway fact. Technically, I own a small town in Virginia and all of the tragedies that happen there. No follow-up questions. God damn it. Our guest is a champion of internet hilarity as the longtime chief of cracks.com, creator and host of The Daily Zeitgeist, along with the NBA podcast, Miles and Jack Got Mad Boosties. It's our old friend, Jack O'Brien. Yeah. We finally got him. We finally got that Jack money. Here. Got that Jack guy. Oh, man, I love how stupid the title of our NBA podcast is

that I feel very embarrassed anytime somebody else has to say it. Oh, I'm just glad you took some heat off of the Dog Zone 9000. I actually talk like that. I say a lot of things have mad boosties. That's just real conversational for me. It flows right off my tongue. Yeah. A lot of people are saying it. The good news about having such a bad title is the SEO is great. Like when you type mad boosties, it is basically an urban dictionary thing about, I forget exactly what they say it means, but it's horrifying. Oh, it's always horrible. It's always not an NBA podcast. Yeah. And we got the actual NBA to agree to sponsor it. So it's very, very weird. That's pretty cool. Is that a daily podcast? No, no, no, it's weekly. You only have

the one daily podcast. Yeah. One daily podcast that we do twice a day now. People want to listen to way too much of me. You can go to The Daily Zeitgeist. Do you think you work more now than you did at Cracked? Because I know you worked very, very hard back in the day. No, I don't work as hard as I did back then. Well, that's good. That was bad. Yeah, I don't either because that would be dead. Yeah, we would all be dead if that happened. Yeah, that was too much working on a comedy thing, but it was fun. But yeah, it also sucked. But your expertise will be very valuable today because we are talking about the history of few more magazines in the 1950s, starting with the creation of Mad Magazine all the way up to the

creation of Cracked Magazine. Yes. So did you be learning something today? Oh, we're going to learn a lot. What? Now, keep in mind, my research was based mostly on the text of the art, like I read the actual magazines when I'm saying it. I didn't like read a whole bunch of books about behind the scenes and oral histories and things like that. So a lot of what I'm talking about is just things they wanted us to see, not necessarily like backstabbing by the editors or who's still what, etc. Anyway, Jack, did you read a lot of Mad Magazine as a kid? I did not. I also did not read a lot of Cracked Magazine. I was just just in it for a job in comedy when I started. And people were like, this is a fucking travesty to everything that Cracked stood for. And I think

that helped me the fact that I did not read a lot of Cracked or Mad Magazine that I did not feel bad about that when people told me I had ruined Cracked Magazine. That's probably fine. I would say that Cracked and Mad were pretty interchangeable when I was a kid. Both of them had incredible John Severin art and just dog shit cinemas in level of observational comedy. Like anyone who thinks that robot chicken makes sad and clumsy jokes, go find a 1980s Mad Magazine. But that being said, there are many contributors and some of them were very funny, trying crazy shit and doing real high effort joke dance parodies. And when I say crazy shit, I mean, they sometimes just fucking went for it. I have a three page bit here that I clipped in the dock.

I'd like you to look at it. For obvious reasons, I don't want you to just start reading from it. I just want you to take a look at it. Okay, are we allowed to open this top secret doc now? Sean sent us a document and it's like, don't look at it. It's sealed. I have to pull like a ribbon somehow on my monitor and I don't even know what's going on. Oh my God, this is the worst brain off. This is the worst gift anybody's ever gotten me. Wow. Do you this was 1986. This came out published in Mad Magazine. What do you think you would do if this came across your desk as an editor at cracked? Like, like, would you call the police? Try to describe what you're looking at. It's tactfully as possible.

I mean, it's reminds me of like the very racist World War II propaganda posters. Yeah. But like kind of worse a little bit. Oh, no, because it's very contemporary. I just saw the song to the tune of Lionel Richie's All Night Long. Yeah. Oh, that's so much worse. Keep describing. Keep tell the people. Well, I'm greeted with all capital bold letters that say all white song. So the tune of Lionel Richie's All Night Long and it's surrounded by armed racists and war crimes, drawings of armed racists and war crimes. Exactly right. I haven't read through all of these lyrics, but it appears to be yes, it is a hate crime. You've sent me a hate crime and maybe I said you hate crime. Yes. This is a pro sarcastically pro apartheid

Lionel Richie parody song. Yes. This I remember this as a kid. I guess I was 10 years old seeing this and just being like, I mean, I grew up real country with like full on racism and seeing this and being like, I just didn't know people were capable of something like this. The time has dulled the shine of this sarcasm. I did not get that it was sarcasm. Yeah, it's real hard to find the tone of what they were going for. But like, yeah, imagine this came across your desk and someone said, Hey, I have an idea for a funny article. It's two pages of a Lionel Richie parody song. Love it. Yeah, it's about apartheid. Okay, that's you're losing me a little. Those remind me of a lot of the stuff that Brockway would

port along be like, it's another it's another Lionel Richie song, but bear with me. It's funny you mentioned, because this is a three page bit. And the third page is sung to the tune of Hello. And it's Jell-O. So like, that's like interchangeable comedy wise. Yes, all white song. No, no, to Jell-O. Horrible racism versus. Yeah. See, you would sing that one. Yeah. What would it take to get you to sing all white song? Like say, who, who's, who said we have to put a gun to? So much Jell-O. Three weeks worth of Jell-O. I'd sing the racist song. Oh, no, no, no. Yeah. The fact that just speaking as a editor that they got through with all white

song and we're like, that worked so well that we're not even going to wait another issue to do another Lionel Richie parody. We're going to just go go right back to it. Exactly. And the comedy rule of two. Really hitting that second beat hard sticking it to Jell-O. So anyway, Mad Magazine survived this somehow. They're still around kind of even scooped up some of the people we worked with after the second or third corporate merger cost everyone their jobs. So, but now we're going to go back very far in time to 1952 to the very first issue of Mad Magazine. Now it started like any other Golden Age comic with basically four distinct stories. The first one was called Hu-Ha. And it was a pretty straightforward horror story where a couple breaks down outside a creepy

house. They go inside, find a creepy old man. He opens a closet, reveals a ghost, but the ghost is actually two kids in a ghost costume. So it's a reverse Scooby-Doo. And this is 52. So this is 10, 15 years before Scooby-Doo. Then there's a reveal at the end. The old man was a ghost the whole time. So it's a twist. Second reverse Scooby-Doo. Double reverse Scooby-Doo. I know that dictionary had some foul things to say about that. Don't look up mad boosties or second reverse Scooby-Doo. No jokes. And they turned into a Lionel Richie parody. Chicken, weirdly prophetic. No jokes, I guess, was the point I should have made earlier that this is almost just a straight horror story like you find in horror comics at the time.

The next one, I did take a clipping from, it's called Blobs. It's a sci-fi dystopia set in the year 1 million AD where humans are so lazy their bodies have atrophied and they ride around enrolling deck chairs with soft drinks. Oh, we did that too. They're every wish fulfilled by robots. Yeah. So it's just a regular non-reverse Wally. One of the Blobs asked the other Blob what happens when the robot that fixes the broken robots breaks and it sets up what I think is the greatest full-page punchline. If one of you would like to describe this, please. Is this a play on the word break and break, like breaks of a car and something breaking? No, no, it's just that this guy can't be interpreting this right. Is this

No, it's just one of them that occurs to them that, hey, if robots do everything, what happens when the robots break? And the other one says, hey, no, no, no, there's a robot that fixes the robots. And he's like, wait, wait, what if that one breaks? Okay. And then it happens and then it happens. And then here we are. And then they look out and it slowly breaks and is destroyed. And they are thrown all about their little dome. And it says leaking uranium, boop, bop, and then a very slow pan on a dead baby. Yeah. As a spider makes a web over its face. What the? Is that right? Real slow push on the dead baby's face. As the spider made to web over it.

Yeah. And then the final punchline. Yes, dear reader, the machine did break. That's the end. That's the end of the whole thing. There's not a gag after that. It's like a society collapses, a baby dies, and it's the it died. It's like an on we fucking reverse tails from the crypt is what we're looking at here. This was the this was the comedy magazine that changed the world is the point. The next story is called Genev's, which sounds like it must be something backwards, but it's not. It's about a gangster who steals money and his car boat and henchmen get shot to pieces until all he has left on a tiny desert island is a stolen box of money. And it turns

out to just be a stink bomb. So it's kind of like a Twilight Zone episode, but less funny. That's the tails from the crypt. That's that's exactly when they have a little punchline that cuts to the crypt creeper crypt keeper. And he's just right. He had like a little pun about it smells like he made the bad choice. The money turns into a stink bomb. Yeah, he opens up the box of money. He's like, oh, my precious money. And it's just a stink bomb. And then he's just holding his nose while like a little mushroom cloud of stink comes off his desert island. This truly feels like the random firings of like my four year old's brain. Like, it sounds like a child like how they think humor works. And then there's a dead baby and a spider

makes a web over his face. Yeah, like people are always like getting killed, robots are always killing or get it like getting broken apart. And then honey, I think the pandemic is affecting our child. Yeah, it's dark stuff. But it could have been a pro comedy writer in 1952. Yeah, this is complete insanity. Yeah. The next story is called Varmint. All these stories have exclamation points. It's about a gunfighter who won't revenge on the man who killed Melvin. So he killed in an entire town. And then a little guy says, Hey, wait, I think you actually accidentally killed Melvin. So he kills himself and I'm making it sound too funny. So that's it. That was pretty funny. I always on board that one.

So two of the stories end in tragic sort of ironic genocide. One is a weird morality tale and one is a double reverse Scooby Doo, which again does not mean a regular Scooby Doo, but two reverse ones. And that was the magazine. Everyone says, Oh my God, we need to copy this exactly. So two years later, entertaining comics published panic with a disclaimer that they were actually the first Mad Magazine. They wrote a full page of inside jokes, not inside baseball jokes, just like inner office jokes about a guy named Harvey Kurtzman, who stole their manuscript and published it as Mad Magazine. And they were going to publish it first. But they said, Oh, no one's going to buy a comedy magazine. And then people started buying Mad Magazine. And so

they're like, Okay, now we're going to sell it. I did a clip that if you want to take a look. It's not really worth reading. It's just it's a weird way to open a magazine. Hey, we were first. No, wait, we weren't. We were only kidding. But we weren't kidding. I don't I don't know. It's hard to explain. Well, I'm just a little confused because you're describing it as a magazine, but the cover clearly says this is no magazine exclamation point. So you know, they mean this is a panic. Right. And you want to describe the cover like what they thought was like the best first joke they could have had. I mean, there is Santa's coming down into a bear trap. And there is a kid who looks like he's suffered some sort of brain trauma, just like looking on

evily at Santa, who's about to have his leg caught caught in a bear trap. Although it it also like Santa's leg is at such an angle that it seems like he might have already cut Santa's leg off and this might be something that he's yeah, he's not he's not coming down even he's already he's already passed that landing and then he's gonna land in a bear trap. So it's like a gremlins. This is like a gremlins. Yeah, but he's kind of a shaved baboon thing. So it's like it's like teaching a shaved baboon to gremlin. Right. Oh, I'm at the plot of gremlins when the Santa Claus gets. Oh, but yeah, but you see how he could also be a kind of gremlin. Yeah, but this guy is definitely some kind of a cobalt. He's not like a

not fully human at least. Yeah. No, no, no words just like it wouldn't be funny if a child murdered Santa Claus. Yep. It would be very funny. It would be pretty funny. So it opens with a hardboiled detective story called My Gun is the Jury. That must be 9000 words long. It's like the wordiest, most convoluted comic. The detective is a sadist who constantly breaks the fourth wall referencing the reader's need to see blood. But not in a funny way. Like, I feel like they must be referencing some movie that you must have been. Yeah. It's more of a like a psychologically revealing way, like a murderer wrote a comic book and didn't know there was a second kind of non-murderer person. So he's talking, hey, you love murder and blood, right? Yeah, you get it. Anyway, I have a clip

if you'd like to, Jack, if you want to read that, the first one. Yeah. Beginning with the shirt. This is the opening panel here. This is just sort of randomly like third or fourth page. It opens, she gurgled up at me spitting blood. She was still alive. I rammed my heel down into her nose into her face and did a graceful pirouette on her nose grinding in. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. And then the person who is just crushing a woman's face under under his shoe also appears to be like the grown up version or like the father of the kid from the cover of the magazine. Like they share a very similar like, you know, if if the Neanderthals had prevailed in evolution, like bone structure, and he's singing, I think you're a killer,

Sadie. I hate killers. Die, Sadie, die. Die, die, die. Dumb, dumb. And then they got the funny cliched rookie cops saying, oh, Mike, please, you make me sick, except the rookie cop actually appears to have have done some time on the force. So it's just like so gruesome that he can't even even he can't stand it. He's very flamboyantly spinning around on a dead woman's face. And again, we're seeing great, great flexibility in the groin region. We saw it with Santa Claus on the cover and now we're seeing it in this pirouette that this person is doing. It was and maybe remains to be very funny to have like legs spread very far apart. I think that's that's just held true. Well, I think the reason they're able to do the splits so well is this

is a woman disguised as a man, which is another trope from the 1950s that was just universally beloved. If you make so much sense. So this violence is more okay because it's woman on woman. And it's why I'm attracted to the murderer. Yeah, right. That's the only reason. Yeah. And again, it reminds me of my four year old sense of humor. So this is they would have had a lucrative career in 1954. So I clipped the ending of it. There's no need to read the whole thing. But basically, the killer tries to murder another person who tries to murder them back. And they both find out in the very last moments that they were cross dressing. And I don't know what it reveals. I promise that there's no reason to think this means anything.

I think it's suggesting that maybe they could have fallen in love. But I don't know. Anyway, it ends with a murder and then some reveal of cross dressing, which again, I want you to try to understand that for some reason in the middle of the 50s, this was just inherently funny. Like if you were dressed as a different gender, hilarious. Well, let's be fair. That stayed the case until at least the 80s. I mean, there was that show where they cross dressed like Tom Hanks and whoever cross dressed. Yeah, Buzzing Buddies. What was Buzzing Buddies? Yeah, we did a whole show about that. So that was a mainstay comedy for a long time. I like how in this panel, we get a better look at the horrible murderous

face. And then you're like, Oh, okay, it's a mask. He pulls a mask off. And it's a worse face underneath. It's both just like undead tapeworm face. I was an undead tapeworm the whole time. I'm sorry I killed you. Yeah. And to your point, it ends with and when I so I looked down Stella. So after killing Stella, this man who is actually a woman dressed as a man says I looked down Stella's blouse fell away. I gasped Good Lord. Stella was a man. And when I saw Stella's manly physique, I started to cry. And I think like the form, you know, woman dresses a man wants to seize like the manly rib cage of this dead person and like wants to fuck them so bad that they're like, Stella, don't die. Don't die. We have the whole show, just the two of us. So like it's just

overcome with desire. And this is solid comedy. Yeah, it's pretty funny, right? Like, there's a lot of. Listen, laughs were lean and grim, just like men back in the 50s, just lean. It was a lean and grim time. Well, the next story is I'm telling you. I have to read the last line, please. It's very funny. I do hope you read it. But Stella died, never even realizing that I Mike hammer slammer was a woman. The name. How did no one know from the name? I'm Mike hammer slammer. Wow, you seem like such a feminine, beautiful woman, both a great detective and good at coming up with fake names on the spot. The next story is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood. She grows up and she's very hot and everyone cat calls her. But she goes off into the woods with an

incel and then turns into a werewolf and eats him. All right, I like that one. Yeah, it's pretty seeing a trend here about what the types of people who read Mad Magazine think about women and what they'll do if you give them a chance. I feel like we're watching them figure out what their what their MO is. They're like, we're watching them realize draft by draft, what they want to say. This is the next draft. Okay, so maybe she kills him because all women are murderers. Maybe that's what I was saying with that man dressed as the woman that was the murderer. Right. They're getting there. They're iterating. They're working it out. The next one is called This Is Your Strife, which I think is a parody of something called

This Is Your Life, which I'm, you know, too young to remember. But basically, they get a guy on stage and a game show host leads a whole bunch of people through his life onto stage. And then they all say, oh, yeah, I remember him. He killed his wife and very heavy-handedly like drop hints that he killed his wife. And it turns out at the end, oh, he killed his wife and then they arrest him. And then the game show host sort of turns out to be the devil. He's also at the end of the Little Red Riding Hood story. So again, it's very tales from the crypt. I don't know why someone thought like, what if we just did a straight horror comic but called it comedy? And that's what Mad Magazine and all of its knockoffs were for the first part of the 50s.

Uh, the next one, something to do with like the comics code, like when they did that crackdown on horror and detective comics, did they have to like rephrase it reluctantly is like, this is comedy now. That's an interesting idea. Maybe that's what's going on. Maybe that these are like, yeah, and then there's a punchline at the end of everyone, but it's still just fucking horror. Still just grin murderers. And the punchlines are good. We should have met like that. Yeah. I liked one of the robots broke and all the babies died. And the spider was the punchline that it makes a web over the dead baby was. Yeah. The world belongs to the spiders now. Like in every good show.

The next one is called the night before Christmas and it's just a parody of the night before Christmas. There's no easy way to say this. It's just a bunch of butchered endangered animals and Santa performs in blackface. Oh my God, he really does. That's what's going on. He does. He, uh, and he sings many. Yep. Uh, classic blackface number, I guess. So the thing that made panic different from that was that it was written by actual murderer mad men, not just funny mad men. So they also didn't care that they were copycats. They had an ad campaign in 1955 that was more pathetic than you could ever imagine. I actually clipped this.

I have it. It's printed sideways because that's how it appeared in comic books. I can't believe how fast we're just skipping over Santa in blackface. Santa in blackface killing every single extinct and endangered animal. And we're like, yeah, that's it. What else is there to say? It's so funny all on its own, right? Like what, what could you add to it? I'm trying to, I'm trying to find any logic to like why the dead animals, like what, just what the, even what the pitch process was like for not even in the room, in the person's head, who then pitched out loud. And I'm, I'm coming up empty on that one. This one does feel like random brains firing.

Yes. And I mean, you've seen the stuff I wrote for Cracked. I really like to take sensibilities from a different era and map them onto other ones, right? So the idea of taking Santa being a murderer and mapping it onto like a wholesome Santa thing, like you give me that idea. I'm like, okay, there's something there. That could be funny. And they, they just did a very literal interpretation of that. We're like, yeah, Santa, Santa would go kill elephants, right? He has a magic sleigh. He would go to Africa and kill all these precious animals, which is what I'd do if I had a magic sleigh. Right. Like I said, deadlines coming up. I'll just use this idea. Is this why we're all haunted by the ghosts of racist murders? Like this is our legacy,

I understand now. I was always so confused about that. But yeah, I get it. And I will say I deserve it. At one point, Santa does come in and say tennis anyone, which is a charming line to say check please kill someone with a tennis racket, I think is what's about to happen there. I think Bruce Willis, our own Schwarzenegger, could sell it. Yeah. That's a nice, I don't think Santa, I don't think Blackface Santa sells it. I think Nick Cage could sell this Mammy rendition. That's hot praise. So, Jack, would you like to read this ad for Panic Magazine? Yeah. All right. So, it says, it appears to be like an old timey printing from a Civil War illustration of a battle. And then they've added one of their little cartoon guys on there. They've also added a sign that says

Yankee Stadium. He's running away from the battle. And he says, no, I said, you can't have my copy of Mad. And then we move down. And he they've just pasted the same drawing down a little bit lower and says, it's true. I bought the last mad on the newsstand, but they still have a copy of Panic, which is practically the same. Oh, you should never have to admit it so publicly. Like, I know that's what old cracked magazine was. I've always joked that like, you bought cracked because Mad was out. But then they it's not a joke. They just said it's that the quiet part said out loud for sure. If Mad sold out, settle for us. We're the settling you were any other because we were very open about how like we worked for the descendant of the poor man's version of of Mad Magazine. But like this

suggests that it was like kind of always an open thing. Is there any other product that people were just like, yeah, no, that shit is so good. Like, we we're trying to be that. And we're not quite that. But what else are you going to do? Is there any product that's like, okay, only buy us if the other thing is specifically sold out? We understand the advertising strategy as far as I know, from only watching Mad Men TV show. But like they weren't just like, well, we kind of suck compared to Coke, but we are not Coke and Coke gets sold out pretty quickly. So Coke has gone resort to Pepsi. That's our new tagline. So we weren't the poor man's Mad Magazine. It turned out there was a poor man's Mad Magazine.

We were like lower middle class Mad Magazine. Right. Yeah, there you go. I've just moved up in the world. I'm glad I could make you feel better. I think you feel only better as we go because next we're doing snafu, which was the second copycat in 1955 by Stan Lee. And it was a beat for beat remake complete with a knockoff of Mad Magazine's mascot Alfred E. Newman, who Stan Lee called Irving Forbush. You just added glasses to him. You can see him here on the cover of snafu. Sure did. For art, he hired Joe Manili, who basically drew 20 people's worth of art from Marvel Comics every month. And John Severin, who drew for every iteration of every one of these magazines. I'm almost positive. If you've ever picked up a funny book of any kind, you've seen his art.

Anyway, he took, Stan Lee took the idea that it had already been done twice. And then the actual artists who worked on both those bad ideas and made this. So let's go to the clip here. I clipped, what's happened to our male singers? And you see some... That's a great premise for us. What about what's happened to our male singers? Is there anything there? Is there anything there? So there's some guys dancing around in hats, umbrellas, one of them in full on blackface, another one with a megaphone. And then the next page is, here are some of today's top song stylists of how relaxed can you get. And then it's, you know, Dean Martin and... I don't recognize all these men, but it then cuts to... You have to include Sinatra in the middle, right?

I would imagine. Just like Skeleton Sinatra, I guess. Skeleton Sinatra. Okay. You'd have to include Sinatra. You got Norm MacDonald in the upper right. Young Norm MacDonald, then we got aging Norm MacDonald a little bit further down. I think that's Paul Giamatti from the duets. The rest is just Norm MacDonald through the stages of his life. And then the next, the gag, the three-page punchline leading to Julius Lesnuzza hour. And now, Jan, for my next song.

All of that was for this? Yes, for this. And they spell out the buildup. If this nonchalant trend in male singers continues, snafu predicts that we will soon be seeing written on a giant arrow, and then you, a presumably incredibly stupid person, just follows the arrow over to be walloped with this killer punchline. No one saw this coming.

People in the 50s were stupid. And I know children are stupid. And I know everybody just drank lead milkshakes and huffed DDT all the time there. It still feels like talking down. This is the first time, I will say, that I recognize. I was the editor of Crack.com when I think I was the only person working on the website, and we got lots of submissions. Some of the early submissions would be stuff like, man, singers are really relaxed now,

or something, some observation that didn't really hold true, but I would try and stick with it to the end of the humor piece. And yeah, this actually feels recognizable to me. It was from this guy just on a mission. This is my bit. I do about how singers are too relaxed. I don't think we ever got a submission from John Severin, but we got lots of hate mail from people who thought that we were pissing on his grave.

I got that personally that people thought we fired him, and we fired the old staff. I took his job in the sense that I ran into his house and knocked him over and grabbed job out of his hands and ran away with it. I did promote your hire as say hello to the new Severin. I really like the clumsiness of the copy at the end. It says, wake up, America. Don't let this happen here. Join snafu's anti-open collar on singers' shirt crusade.

Your contributions are deductible. It's just like this tumbling dad sensibilities of comedy. It's offensive to me, but I guess I included it because I guess in 1955, Stanley was like, whatever happened to real music? What an excitable man in blackface honked through a megaphone. And so I just wanted to make the point that this was, he was an insane old man a full decade before he created everyone's favorite teen superheroes.

Yeah, how old would this have put him? He was an elderly man hundreds of years ago. I feel like he'd be like 17 now, and he's channeling grandpa energy. Yeah, this was 16 years pre-Spider-Man. So yeah, that's something. This is team Stanley. Yeah, the what happened to our male singers page, it does have somebody in blackface.

So like he was like, what happened to the good old days? Exactly. Yeah. Like he really spelled out. So this snafu only lasted three issues. Stanley eventually looked inward, but not the way you're thinking. He took the same stolen idea and pointed it at himself to parody his own work in the Marvel comedy comic called Not Brand Ech.

That was in 1967 and it fucking sucked. But we're sticking to the fifties. And next up is 1956 with a magazine called Luna Tech. It was just every year. This like, I guess I have to stop and appreciate how much mad must have just shaken up the system. It's just for every year a new ripoff to be launched out there. Like there must be a market for this as though there are

children out there with just hundreds of dollars every month to buy up every shitty mad magazine ripoff and sort through them. It's what an amazing time to be alive. Luna Techle was put out by Myron Fass, who's very prolific. He basically put out five magazines about every subject every month until he died. He hired some pretty incredible artists like Joe Kubert, which many elderly nerds certainly know. But it is just a joyless slog.

I didn't clip much of it. It's hard to even tell where the jokes are supposed to be. I know you guys have seen some rough things come across your desks. But this feels like that. It's like somebody's first comedy article, and there's kind of panicking and writing objects that they see in their eye line. Like this whole comic is just like punch lines or toothpaste. I don't know.

I really don't fucking have any idea. I clipped this if you want to take a look. It's a fake ad for a tube that you can use to look at men while they change into ladies clothes in the locker room. The naked truth about the girl in the locker room, and it's a grainy photo of a man in a wig coyly looking over his shoulder with a towel. That's Jason Parjan.

You know that's Jason Parjan, right? This is where we got him from. It says, introducing the new Fat Sex High Power Telescope. The new Fat Sex High Power Telescope. No notes in the name. Great name. Yeah. Funny name.

Just I want to read the comments. So like there's a picture of a man with a wig on and a skirt and changing in a sauna. I guess maybe all locker rooms used to be saunas. And it says the naked truth about the girl in the locker room. She's really a boy in the girl's locker room, or is she really a girl in the boy's locker room? She's the girl with the eye stopping figure, and why not? Like at that point, they're falling asleep, and she's on like that.

You need to stay awake. You have a concussion. But why not? Why not? She's a woman. And why not? Wouldn't you stop to fasten your gams, limbs on a girl with a girdle around the ankle? She's a girl.

He's going into deep sleep. We need a stretcher now. Fat Sex Tube. I got the name. Fat Sex Tube. Okay, well, that's just genius. He's coming back around. I don't know.

So it's a telescope. Maybe this was like at a time when telescopes were first becoming available to people at home, and they were like, you're going to want to take that and make a joke about a boy dressed as a... Hey, I got a question. Sure. Why is he wearing the sloppy loose skin of a big foot on his feet? That's a great question.

What the fuck is going on there? Very interesting question. What the fuck? Yeah, he's got like a sumo wrestler costume, like that kind of a rubbery giant... I don't know how to explain that. Just on the feet. He's just got like the loose skin of a human foot around his own feet. Right.

With pantyhose, and then they go down into... Huh. What is the thesis statement? What is the premise of any of this? Like, where is even the kernel of a joke? I don't understand. This truly is just unhinged lunacy. I wouldn't even know how to describe to this person what a joke is,

like the structure of a traditional joke from here. And the copy at the end gets taken over by like a pedophile. It's like, and for extra detailed peeping, send for the famous fat sex Cyclops lens with hidden quote, finger rests for your hot little finger. The underwear on the wall is the new fat sex living long johns contort of the itchiest wool. What the... Is that the living long johns?

What? What? Yeah. I'm really glad you guys weren't like, oh, I get this because I was like... No, that's that's my test for a marker. Like that's that's my Blade Runner test for a killer is to show them this and be like, if they even smile like I'm pulling the trigger. Yeah, that's good.

A good policy. The next next year, 1957, Charlton Comics came out with From Here to Insanity. And of all the ripoffs so far, it tried to rip off the most things. There's fake ads, puzzles, articles. They did something kind of smart, which was take all the captions from the terrible single panel comics and remove them. And then it was up to you to match them to each other. They, of course, stole this idea from Mad Magazine,

but a puzzle about second rate incompetence is better than just second rate incompetence. There is an Archie spoof I took a clipping from. It was kind of Archie, but his dad wanted him to be a murderer. And he's like, okay, dad, I'll do it. And he just starts shooting at people. You can see that he's shooting at his girlfriend and she's running away, narrowly avoiding the bullet. And he's Italian in this for some reason, because it's important.

She's saying you can he's saying, you're right, mommy and daddy. I want to have fun like the other kids. I'm gonna change my way. I'm gonna change my ways. Atta boi. Atta boi. And then random things start coming through the walls. You see in that first panel, there's two holes in walls,

because just like race cars and horses and things will just fly through the walls. I'm not sure. I feel like this is like really a brilliant artist trying to represent his imagination, just giving out 10% into this concept. You can see in this, in the panel I included, there's like an ancient Greek hunter chasing a unicorn. Yeah. Coming through a wall and it is not commented on.

Huh. So it's a comic about parents that want their Italian son to be a murderer. And he is obliging by murdering a woman. And then I guess, see, because it's the last thing in the panel, I guess the punchline is that like an ancient Greek hunter busts through the wall to kill a unicorn. I feel like maybe the artist said, hey, this is the script isn't funny. What if I add some stuff?

Like what if there's just silly things happening? Yeah, specify stuff. Yeah. It's just like more random shit. Like I'm trying to, like this actually reminds me, like the thing about like a race car driving through all of a sudden reminds me of like some of those like fifties. I think they were like called madcap comedies where

like just random shit would happen. People seem to think that was funny. Like is, is that maybe what this is? Just like random, they're just throwing random things in. Were we doing like a first draft on comedy in general by the fifties? Did we just not have like funny down? We were just, I know it's something. Is it, is it maybe the Greek hunter brusting through the wall?

Let's just see how that goes. No, that wasn't it. God, I keep trying. Like they're just fully just guessing, guessing, checking and like waiting to hear if people laughed at it three months later. Cracked it sometime in like 1967. Yeah. Yeah.

The other clip I took is an ad for something called Smelzo. So they, they ran into this problem a lot in this magazine where someone would have an idea like what about a silly air freshener and then their mind would shatter. So like what is happening here? It's, it's like a product. Well, Brock, well, you know, read this copy. Can I do the image first or is that violating your plan?

I think that's, I think you should. The image is of a can of Smelzo and I think it's supposed to be a skunk coming out of there. Although it looks like a beaver. It looks like a beaver. And everybody around it is drawn in a very grim sort of black and white detective style, like not the wacky scents that I would expect. And they are very much exaggerating how much they hate it and holding their noses.

And that's fine until the upper left hand panel has a man blowing his brains out. And again, not in a cartoonish way. He's holding a pistol to his head and he is just blown off the top of his head and is dying. And it says artistically flying out of the panel. And it says banish ugly household odors forever, Smelzo. No more worries when you cook with garlic. New Smelzo eliminates all odors. It's just so vanilla, except for the suicide.

Don't you, don't you hate the smell of garlic? Don't you want to blow your fucking brains out all over your family? Don't you want them to see your brains and like taste your memories? Don't you want your kid to do that? Well, no more because with no worries. Try this simple experiment. The Smelzo company, makers of Smelzo candy to eliminate bad breath and Smelzo schmaltz deodorant to eliminate underarms.

All right, we'll send you absolutely free a large size pack of wild boars. Oh God, what? Yeah, yeah, they're just zany. They didn't have comedy down yet. What's the first movie that you guys thought was like that you can watch and actually get a laugh out loud? Like not not the first in your life, but like just chronologically. What like what year would that be?

Not my secret chronologically. Yeah, maybe maybe some parts of airplane. Like most of it is kind of room and loss. Yeah, I think airplane is is mine too. And then I've heard I've been told by comedy geeks that like the Marx brothers are great, but I can't. No, I never I never do it. Never that old.

I guess the three stooches I liked when I was a kid. They don't hold up super well, but. Yeah, I couldn't get that either. I mean, I never laughed at like a Looney Tunes cartoon either, though. Like I watched them, but it was I guess with grim face curiosity. I don't know. Right. But but yeah, something like I think probably airplane.

So yeah, I guess humor was invented in the 70s and we were just just taking stabs at it before then. Right. But because they did attack the problem in many directions, they're like, maybe we give these people wild boars, maybe that's the product, or maybe the product is a stink bomb that they set off after the wild boars leave. Because I think that the copy does go that direction later. Like I think the product is both wild boars and a stink bomb to like get rid of your garlic smell. Like you won't even think about the garlic smell because you got wild boars and a stink bomb to worry about.

And again, of course, there's a man shooting himself in the head, like fucking bullet coming out the other side of the skull. That very grimly illustrated man committing suicide. So that he does not have to take part in this world anymore. But just I don't think this is a real like a funny ad for a real product. So that makes this like the joke that makes this supposedly a complete joke. Yeah. You're seeing the beginning, middle and end of the Smelzo gag.

That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. There's no callback later. There's no Smelzo universe where people use this product later in the comic. This is it. I guess the like when I think back like other like of things that like definitely people universally seemed to have agreed were funny. It was the Three Stooges, which is just like violence. And we're we're seeing a lot of that.

There's like that Lucy thing with the chocolates. And people just really went crazy for that shit. And like that's like. This is the inquest of a chocolate eater. Yeah. Yeah. And like chaos and there's some of that. And then duck soup.

So like animal puns. I don't know. They seem to be real into animals. So maybe they're just like just iterating on like that. Those three ingredients over and over again. But with no end game in mind. Seriously. I don't know.

I don't know how the fuck they did it. Where where are we going with this? I don't know. What do we want to happen? I don't know. Be kind of what if some boars were loose? I'm silly. I like the chaos of that.

It's like it's in the right area. Yeah. That could happen. That feels like the inside of my head. Sure. We should have died in the war. I wasn't meant to come home. I wasn't meant to.

Yeah. So we're going to move on to 1957 to this magazine is crazy. This was two months after From Here to Insanity was published by the same company that I got. And I don't want this to be confused with Crazy Magazine, which was Stan Lee's third man magazine knockoff published 16 years after this. Jesus Christ.

Has there ever been anything this ripped off? Maybe not. I can't imagine. This is probably the worst one of all the ones I read. I don't know why they did this. It's like a copy of the fourth knockoff of a bad comic book. The arts like charcoal sketches as if they were desperately behind schedule.

And the jokes genuinely feel like placeholders. Like you'll miss the the thought through chaos of Smelzo. It's just like fucking. It's all why not? Like, oh, I'll get to this later. And then that just got left in the final text. I have two clippings. One is from Glum, toothpaste.

Jack, would you do the honors of meeting us? Glum. Big, big text. Glum. This is by far this is the only ad I've seen that actually looks recognizably like an ad to me. I don't know something they did with the font. They got that.

Glum, the only toothpaste you use just once. Just one brushing puts protective green coat over your teeth. Good for at least a year. Glum is fortified with G.I. So a bunch of numbers that they thought were funny. The miracle supplement made of ground eel bladders. Those are gross. You'll discover children love Glum's flavor so much

they'll devour a whole tube at one squeezing. That's why so many families have switched from Glum. From Glum, the toothpaste you only have to use once. Are they suggesting that you've killed the kids? Clearly. Maybe. And we have wildly deformed people who have been clearly just maimed by the use of this toothpaste

and no longer have mouths. Now, I would just like to, something has occurred to me. And I would like to address the listeners right now and remind them of how grim our mindset is now. And that we have a sound board with every wacky sound effect. And we use it liberally. We have a slide whistle. We could have used a slide whistle

at any point up until now. We have a boing. We have a boy owing. And it never occurred to us. It never even crossed our mind. There's a fucking ogre in here. And I just, I can't imagine, I can't imagine using it at any point in this podcast.

It would never be valid. It would never be earned. There's still two punchlines to read on Glum. Yeah, sorry, sorry. One thing that I've noticed is the second time that there appears to be a spiderweb on someone's head. The first time being when a baby died and they just like pushed on the baby's head.

Now we have somebody whose teeth are rotting out of their head. And a spiderweb is on top of their head and a spider is like doing, waving a fly towards it. It's weird, right? You know, they're loading up the jokes. They're putting a lot of different options out there. A lot of different things you could laugh at. So note, so after, after all that text,

note, Glum should not be used on false teeth. They dissolve. And then your girlfriend will love it. And then it shows a girlfriend whose mouth is a asshole. Or it's about this. It's definitely a butthole mouth. Yeah. And that's what I mean by the placeholder joke.

Like don't use on false teeth, they dissolve. That feels like, yeah, I'll get back. I'll think of something for that. Yeah, it's definitely if I wrote that, I would underneath it be like, okay, think of something real in all capitals. Yeah. The only thing on this page recognizable as a joke

is the spider trying to wave a fly towards the web. That's cute. I don't know what goes as far as joke, but it's like legible. There's a logic to it, I guess. Yeah. But it might make you forget about the grimness of your 1950s child life for like a moment. Right.

I like that he has a band-aid on his armpit because I think he used smell so and I limited his own armpit. So that's like a running gag across magazine. Oh, holy shit. That's a joke. That would be that's recognizable as a running. I don't know what it means, but it's like, it's like the start.

If you had that evolutionary chart, that's very other than the smell, though, of it all. Who could know? I think that was just sort of shorthand for like this guy's like leading a fucked up life. Like this guy's trash. He's just constantly hurt. The next one is maybe the most unbaked concept I've seen

in my entire comedy, writing and editing life. It's the idea that Hollywood starlets might secretly be men because Lassie was a boy. So let's look at expose apostrophe. I don't think their typographer could figure out how to do the accent. So it says expose apostrophe is Lassie is a boy. And then it's followed by the one page article it sets up in its entirety. So Rockaway, why don't you just read that classic punchline?

It has come to the attention of your editors that one of the leading television stars of today is parading around each week in front of our innocent children in the guise of a female. When in reality, underneath that long silken hair, he is all boy. Why we are exposing this dirty mess that thought has come to us. How many other of our TV queens are fooling us?

Okay, so I know what I'm expecting heading into the next page. Because because this is a drawn magazine. So you can do anything you want with with these illustrations. So as a punchline, it's not a good job, but as a punchline, the next page should be famous Hollywood starlets like drawn clearly as men. Yes, right. That's what the joke should be.

And yet I believe the joke is famous Hollywood starlets who have luscious pointy titties. And like a couple, you can see their nipples. Yes, and you can see the starts of nipples through them. And that that is the joke. There's four pornographic renderings of Hollywood starlets. There is no punchline. I guess you've gotten the mood to masturbate from the lassie thing.

And now you're sealing the deal. And that's it. I'm not leaving anything out. It just it's four examples of beautiful women who might secretly be men. There's not funny drawings of that. There's it's full on jerk off drawings of that. So that's it. That was this magazine is crazy.

The worst man magazine is crazy. The cover is the great Pelvis secret play on Elvis. There is an Elvis on the front, but Elvis has lipstick on. So maybe Pelvis is like his lady. Is that a female Elvis? Just trying to write. This is really the button. They they just leaned on that button and then forgot they were

leaning on the button just every single one. So now from we're in 1958. And of course, everyone knows that our magazine came out. So it's time to talk about the magazine that eventually led us here. Of course, I'm talking about 1958 Zany magazine and our publishing. There can't be one of these. This can't happen. This one is fucking weird.

It's an exact clone of Mad Magazine, but just vaguely wrong in every way. It was less of a hat job and more of a star travelers found a Mad Magazine. They're just trying to communicate. So I have a clipping. If anyone wants to try to read this out loud or make sense of it. I'd love I'd love that. All right, I'll go.

So we're skipping past the cover, which it does just feel like general chaos, which a lot of these seem to like that. The pelvis secret or whatever it was also had like pictures of every recognizable like cartoon character, including Mickey Mouse. Yeah, I see a Batman. I see a like cover. But you would use this to include jokes if like you were like, I'm going to crowd it out because this is a wacky circumstance.

And then it's just going to be dense with like little visual jokes, which is which is what we would do today, which is like a Where's Waldo book. But these are not jokes. There's like a barber kicking a cowboy in the butt. There's a mermaid holding onto a plane. I'm like, it's it's nothing. There's nothing happening. Superman's flying through the air, but he still has glasses on.

That's a joke, right? It must be. It might be the start of one, but it's not the end of one. The yeah, so not and then two cartoon characters that don't appear to be from the same universe as the other ones. And they're saying, hey, a hot dog to one another while holding a hot dog. So correctly, if I'm wrong, there's two cowboys kneeling on the floor. One of them is kind of presenting his butt.

And there's a vaudevillian performer behind the cowboy, taking off his pants and looking at us. Yes, it's like, oh, we're about to fuck for sure. You're you're going to you're going to see two gentlemen fuck. Because is that maybe that's a joke? And there is a nearby monkey who is leaving. That is the monkeys joke that the monkeys leaving. Yeah, it's like, I'm not going to sit around here for this.

Yeah, it's all it's all things that you could imagine taking place in one of those like madcap comedy things. But just without any context, right? If these were like stars of the late sixties. Beard in half and half, the only milk with a head on it. I don't get it, but go on. And so then we have sort of the same artistic style of just like random people.

I think that's a lot of doffy. I think there's like a hobo. And then the main character is like sort of a cigarette spokesman, but he's a half man, half cow. Right. And then there's the cow from the little. He will put a cow version. Right.

Like a joke. Bert Reynolds is a cow. So the Bert Reynolds is a cow is saying us cows. No, there's nothing like a delicious glass of half and half to top a meal. Yes, sir. All right, are you guys ready to joke? Yeah, give it to us. Yes, sir.

There's no other way. Brilliant delivery. 10 out of 10 joke. And then there's an actual cow's head in the back, presumably. Oh, yeah. No, it's attached to a body that is an address. And it says his disposition is so much better since I switched to half and half.

So he's been beating her probably, but now he's drunk. So it has he's cut back on it, which is generally not how that works. Right. The cow DNA must disrupt it. Again, that's just crowded with nothing. There's like an owl on his cigar. There's a little man bathing in his beer.

There are tiny little homunculi drowning everywhere. I don't know why that is. It is terrifying. And again, this is not part of a running gag. This is a standalone bit in its own universe. There's the Nazi end. There's no punchline. It's nothing.

Why? So it has something to do with, oh, yeah, look, there is a Nazi. So it's like the drink half and half instead of beer seems to be the thing. And then, yeah, that's some product testimonials at the bottom. Two of them are, hey, this isn't food. It's for like caulking your windows. It's perfect for something. It appears to suck.

Like many of the products that have been advertised, it appears to not be very good. And that's it. Nothing like it for fixing plumbing leaks. Mr. C. Heffer. It's wheelie the wave of the kitty set. Little miss new calf Wyoming. Look for this trademark at your local beer milk bar.

That's how it goes out. That's the punchline. Crushing punchline. Because of the way we read things. That has to be the punchline. And your local beer milk bar. Beautiful typography. It's two words.

There wasn't like a play on words. No, my God, I couldn't. I couldn't even explain. I could not explain comedy to the person that wrote this. Like I could not explain human joy to them. I wouldn't know where to start being like, well, what is laughter? Think of how disappointed you'd be if like you're at a party and someone says, oh, you got to meet my friend.

They were, they wrote for one of the biggest comedy magazines of all time. You're like, oh, yes, me too. Okay, we'll have a lot in common. And they come over and then you start talking. It would take like five to 10 minutes before you realize like, oh, no. Oh, no, what the fuck is wrong with this person? Oh, no, I'm going to have to kill myself. Yes, I have to leave this party and kill myself.

But anyway, I'm sorry for fucking with you. The 1958 magazine we're going to talk about now is Loco Featuring. Art by John Severin. And they also seem to think a man dressed as a woman or vice versa was just a complete joke when you could repeat nine times on a single page for six pages. I have a clipping so you can say I was not exaggerating. This was the opening bit of the issue. If you'd like to look at Switcheroonie.

Switcheroonie. Hi, the legendary John Severin. Is it supposed to be like a movie poster? All right, it says the other day, they want to get you there. They want to take you through the fucking twisted mind. Through the journey. Come with us. Come with us in the journey of a mad man.

The other day, while we were drawing beards on some subway ads, we were struck with a weird thought. We were struck with a policeman's nightclub. Where's she? No, you completely... No, that's not how jokes work. No, that's not how it works. But mostly we were struck with the idea that famous movie stars would look

pretty funny if they had been boys instead of girls. That's it. And girls instead of boys, they would look pretty funny and they would know a little something like this. That's not even the whole... To prove our theory is correct. Jesus Christ. They're still gone.

They won't stop explaining this premise. We don't think you get it. It needs more. We asked artist John Severin to draw up some well-known personalities in their opposite sex. To prove John's drawings are top notch, we present them here in a handsome article entitled Switcheroonie. Switcheroonie. So it wasn't...

The previous one where they were like, Lassie is a boy, but it's supposed to be a girl. What if that happened in Hollywood and then they just couldn't get across the finish line? Let's try that one again. Let's take that one from the top. Let's take it again. But it was such a wild idea that they thought the audience would have so much trouble getting their head around that they dedicated a like long fucking tedious paragraph of prose explaining it

to you over and over again. And then sure enough, they deliver. It's just Clark Gable in a dress. Clarkina Gable. Clarkina Gable in a dress. They gave them misgendered names. Pretty funny or completely normal, depending on what decade you're in. My favorite is that Roberta Crosby and Frankenstein,

and they just gave Frankenstein like some little curls. Yeah, they gave him a little mullet. Francis Sinatra's great too, because he just has a hat and some pearl earrings. No idea. No idea what's going on there. Elvira Presley. So they hit back on that. So they're really like getting around that like this was in the zeitgeist for real in a heavy way.

I did an article many years ago about the American Film Institute's top funniest movies of all time. And me and my buddy Eric were inspired by this because I think like 14 of them were just cross-dressing movies. And like their top 10 was just dominated by by, you know, whatever. I can't remember all the names. Tootsie and whatever, the other fucking 13 movies about that. And so something about old timey people just thought this was completely hilarious. Like that Tom Hanks show I think ran for 47 seasons. Like they just-

It's why we have Tom Hanks. So anyway, so that was the entirety of Loco Magazine. But it does lead us into the 1958 magazine that spawned a website that was so important to us for so many years. Alex, I read that time. But thanks for being here, Jack. Love is in the air tonight at 60. Count of 60 swinging singles.

Five for the attention of one lovely mate. Takes a king to rule a country but only love rules. Supreme. It's love supreme. Let's meet our competitors. Three finger Louis. Aaron Crosston. Adrian H.

Aidan Moat likes long walks on the beach. Oh, hook that one early. Step up your game singles. Alpha Sciences, Java. Andreas Larsen. Armando Nava likes short walks on the beach. A big swing. Benjamin Zyronan.

Finn Tolson. Brandon Garla. Ryan Saylor likes running on the beach. Hey, all right. Breanne Whitney. Brockway loves the meat millie. Yes, he does. Zero.

Rev. Chase McPherson likes medium length beach drives. Okay. Yeah, all right. You get that one. Chris Brower. Curious Glare. Dan B.

D. Custello. Donald Finney. Dr. Awkward likes horseback riding on the beach. See, that's how you do it, Chase McPherson. That's how you do it. We got Eric Spelter. Fancy Shark. Jell-O.

Ham Bone. Booking loves the beach. Their words, their emphasis. Harakka. Hot Fart. Jacob Thornberg would make a love to the beach if only society would allow it. Okay.

John Dean. John McCammond. John Minkoff. Josh S. Ken Paisley is the beach. Nope. I'm not following on that one, Ken. Oh, he's doing a beach impression now.

That's actually really good. K&M. Laziest man on Mars. Mark. Matt Riley races the beach to the horizon every night and will do so until he catches her. Hey, that's beautiful. Michael Laier.

Michael Wells. Mike Stiles. Mojoo. N.D. Neil Bailey writes, If you cut me, do I not bleed sand? He's gutting himself now. Good Lord, it is sand masterfully played.

Neil Schaefer. Nick Ralston. Nick H. Ozzie Olin. Patrick Herbst has just legally changed his name to Beach McSlop. I get Beach. Is there a significance to McSlop?

No. He's shaking his head. No. Rain Vargas. Rhiannon. Rich Joslin. Sarkovski. Spotty Reception just bought the beach

and no other contestants are allowed on it. Baby, if you like the beach, there is one game in town. Ted H. has just murdered Spotty Reception and stolen the beach team. Looking back, this one was inevitable. Tim Ilehi. Toasty God has dynamite in a dream. Won't you make a new beach together?

If that doesn't work on them, Toasty God, it worked on me. Tom Sikula. Tommy G. Yosarian. And our stunning star, the center of all this attention and deserves every bit of it. The gorgeous, the talented, Jaybur Al Aiden,

whose turnoffs include the beach. But wait, turn-ons? Dynamite, we got a match! Let's love Supreme, folks!