The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 74, Hunting Psychic Bigfoot with Jason Pargin!

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Brockway invites Seanbaby and special guest Jason Pargin on safari. Their prey? Bigfoot. PSYCHIC Bigfoot. That's right: it's a full on mega-ape mindwar, and you are cordially invited to witness the carnage.

One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast, word. Yeah. Yeah.

When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on. You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog.

One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero. Yeah. Nine thousand. This here is Dogs 09000, the official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog.

America's last comedy website. I'm Dan Gumm, Robert Brock Wayne, Dan Gnabbit. Is that Sean Baby over there? Yee-haw. Bigfoot Trapper and Saka Kandashan Baby from the internet. Well, that's not it here and there. And our guest today, Colin Sarnadol.

It's Jason Parjan. Now, what happens if somebody is listening for the very first time and they're going to think this is the show? Welcome. That's the problem with doing a bit at the start of an episode, is that you've always got certain new people

who've been talked by friends in the listening and this is what we greet them with. Especially since this bit, this bit will not be explained until we get into what the podcast is actually about and we're not doing that yet. We've got like 30 minutes of banter before we even get there. But here's the thing.

I've got to be bored if I don't do this shit and then I'm not going to want to do it anymore. So that's really my... Back to a previous point of Suck It. Yep. I had pretty much, pretty much Suck It. Suck It fans and loyal... You don't see Joe Rogan doing a voice

at the start of his show. That's a good point. I try to live my life by the example set by the great Joe Rogan. I do have some extensive Joe Rogan templates here for the podcast and I shoot right. I'm eating a raw testicle

shooting up just a touch of human growth hormone. I'm just asking questions is what I have written down here. Can I have another raw testicle from a fucking yak? I don't care. It's a snack on. But you make a good point, Jason.

We are the official podcast of 1900 Hot Dog. We have a Patreon, which is how we pay our talented contributors like Lydia Bug and Tom Reiman and Alex Schmidt and Brenda McGinley. If you're under 30, it's a website. People are still making those. We're still doing websites.

World Web website. It's on your web browsing app on your phone. You probably still have one of those. I think they come bundled. Open your Dermis template and cyber lookup.

I don't fucking know. Jason, welcome to the show. You're upcoming if this book exists during the wrong universe. Pre-order now is available pre-orders. Thanks for coming on the show. Still this plug?

It's our best intro. Yes. What's the name of the book, please? I only have that as a source of income. I write books and do nothing else, but guest on podcasts. Write books and do this.

My guesting on podcasts is paid for by the surprising number of people who do, in fact, go buy my books after hearing me on these shows. There's a lot of pressure because I have to convey in what I say things in such a way that it makes me say,

I can read a whole novel written by that person. Can you give me something? Say something that'll sell a book. Oh, Jesus Christ. His name was John Rambo. I can describe it a sex scene really well.

Okay. Her moist one had glistened in the sunlight as she lay back in the glistening. Have I said glistening already? Oh, okay. You can stop, I've finished.

I need to hear about the junk. I need to hear about the hog. His glistening hog glistened in the sunlight. That is the hard part is trying to, there's not that many words that mean glistening in the English language unlike French where there's over 200.

Yeah, there just aren't that many words. I mean, there's only like 9 or 10 and you gotta make a whole book out of them. Yeah. I got my last book back from the editor. His first note was you've used the word succulent 268 times by trying to find

something else. It's like, well, but if his engorged manhood is in fact succulent any other word is going to convey less meaning. It just won't do, it's racist. Yeah.

See, I think you have sold a lot of books. I think you did it. I think you moved 15 units right there. Jason, how you doing today? With succulent many times. Welcome. Are you mad at anything or depressed at the psychological pitfalls of mankind

at all? How you doing? I've been sick all week. Nobody cares about that. The only way that affects this podcast that I've taken a lot of cough medicine before coming on to suppress the cough for the duration

of the show, when I was in a teenager, everybody told me that if you take enough cough syrup, you would get high or whatever. That never happened to me. I don't know if I'm buying the wrong kind. Oh yeah, it's the prescription stuff. I mean, you can at store, at store bought,

but it's really like drink a whole bottle. But if you can get that sweet coding prescription stuff, you can get fucked up on that. You need that Joe Rogan mind enhancement. It's a real slow fucked up too. It's kind of like a become one with the sidewalk fucked up.

It's fun. That's the good kind. That's the good kind. Check it out. Check it out at a pharmacist near you, kids. That sounds like you're in a perfect mindset for what we're going to be doing today.

I got a question now. Are you still productive when you're sick or do you just fucking blow off everything? No, I still I write when I'm sick because my rationale is that it's like, well, I can either sit in a chair and look at TV or I can sit in a chair

and type. But I don't know. I feel such panic about deadlines all the time that I wouldn't be able to relax anyway. So, yeah. And I get a lot of people tell you this.

I get a lot of writing done because I don't have the energy to, for my mind to wonder. So, I actually accidentally get locked in on what I'm doing and get a lot of words out. Yeah, in the same way. Yeah, I read a lot on this pop medicine too.

You're sick too, Rachel. Yeah, yeah, I've been pretty sick. Not COVID, nothing serious, but sick enough. It's not that. And I'm sick and I wasn't perfectly okay. Well, congratulations.

So, it was on me to do this to the both of you while you were sick. And it was my pleasure. This was not a punishment. It wasn't a punishment for you, I guess. See, I agree. I agree that this was a great show that we're going to talk about. First, let's talk in very general

terms. Let's talk about Bigfoot. How many times would you guys say you have personally seen Bigfoot? Like, is it one to three, four to six, maybe seven plus? Well, I've not lived in the Pacific

Northwest like you guys have. You've both lived in right? You've both lived in Bigfoot country. Yeah, but I mean this show that we're talking about is Appalachia. Bigfoot is everywhere. Bigfoot is especially big in the Midwest. Well, this was one of my questions.

I thought the Bigfoot legend was always that it was a specific creature that was seen in Oregon, Washington, that, those specific forests. But I guess they turn up literally anywhere. Anywhere where a person might be drunk

in the woods and see literally nothing and then tell all the neighbors they saw a Bigfoot. Yeah, I don't know about like if it's if it's a lower wise consistent that Bigfoot are everywhere or if like the reversion of this is Pacific

Northwest. I mean, there's the abominable snowman too. I mean, so there are parallel myths that are running to the Santa Cruz Bigfoot Museum three times. So maybe I'm the expert here. So I think

I think that's Bigfoot country is northern California. Could be too. I wonder, but I wonder if that's a, if that's originally the myth said like it's specifically the Native Americans that lived in this area, you know, have this as part of their mythology and then people just

you know, lunatics liked it so much that we're like, fuck it, I got Bigfoot in Indiana or if if it was always there and I just don't know about that. Well, and I think there's an issue, there's always been an issue with tourists transporting big feet

out of those areas into lands where they're not active. And what a lot of people don't know is they can't survive in a lot of other parts of the country. And if they do, they drive out the native big feet, different species. They become an invasive species. Yeah.

Sean, you said you've been to the Bigfoot Museum three times. I have. Yes. Because it's right next to them. Do they change up the features a lot from one to the next? No, it is like all dusty 70s memorabilia. So it's just like every time Bigfoot showed up on TV in the 70s, they got like $6 million

in old Marvel comics, just fucking random shit. And we went there right after the guy died who invented Bigfoot and he's like on his death bed, he's like, yeah, I made all that shit up. Sorry, dude. And so we're like, how does that, how do you reconcile that? And he's like, yeah, well,

I did today. He decided he wanted to lie and he just fucking talked. Well, that's a topic. Enough people believed in Bigfoot, that Bigfoot became real. That's what I'm rolling with these days. This is what I don't know if a lot of listeners realize

because Bigfoot, I kind of from the outside, you think it's this kind of this goofy thing that is specifically like this kitschy thing for museums and t-shirts and it's just this fun it's like, ah, Bigfoot, you know but if you go out into the internet

into the conspiracy corners of the internet where I spend a lot of time against the advice of your doctor is a hardcore almost religious type of belief and like I spend a lot of time posting on there's a skeptics forum called the

International Skeptics Forum where it's a bunch of people who think of themselves as they're like educated, rational thinkers and they kind of talk to conspiracy people who swarm in by the thousands with, you know, talking about homeopathic medicine and UFOs and

the moon landing was fake and they kind of debate them and try to make them adhere to some kind of logic and help them kind of see why, you know, there may not be a lot of evidence to what they're claiming and you would think you would think that Bigfoot would be

something that only some goofy like trolls would come in and claim like, oh yeah, I caught a Bigfoot one time and it's not they are very passionate angry people and like their thread on that forum which you could find it on Google

just the thread on the famous 1967 Patterson Gimlin film, that's that video clip every one of you listening has seen of Bigfoot, the one video of Bigfoot that thread has over 30,000 replies

running back over the last 17 years since 2005 just the thread of people verifying and arguing about the authenticity of that clip the Wikipedia page for the Patterson Gimlin film is 10,000

words long I don't think the Wikipedia page for World War 1 is that long because of all of the different books that have been written about it and the competing experts in the different factions of Bigfoot believer and they're different like where they have

split with each other on is it a hoax, you know, have they done Bigfoot belief a disservice by putting up this fake video and all of the other people claiming they have put a team of scientists to watch that video and has verified it cannot

possibly be a human in a costume, it's basically impossible even though it's clearly it's clearly just a guy in like a gorilla costume from a from a party city store I know you can see his watch but that just means that Bigfoot stole a watch and he's figuring it out

he's figuring out time there's an element of that type of debunking I love so much where I don't know if there's a term for it but it's like you can sort of set a trap for kind of an idiot to make them think they're smart like you'll teach them something like oh see if you look at this the way this elbow moves in this

in this Bigfoot a human elbow can't move like that and then you just drop a term like because a human elbow is a partial full rotational geometric thing, they just drop fucking a term and then this person now thinks they're fucking elbow expert like they're the

elbow genius and so they know what other people don't know looking around to verify other stuff with elbows yes so they can look at this and know with just certainty that they're the smartest elbow scientists in the world and this can't be a human because human elbows don't work like that and trust me

I know a thing a liar told me about elbows so Jason's out there like frequenting a skeptics forum trying to talk to people and Sean is out there planting idiot traps so that they will be more of a problem for Jason specifically you see

marming the idiots I'm giving them guns and sending them your way but I don't know I don't fully understand because the show we're about to talk about it's not clear to me who that show is for

because it's not for it's clearly treating the subject in too light hearted in a manner to be for the true believers right but at the same time is it I don't know if it's

I don't want to say these people are all stupid it clearly means a lot to them that big foot be real and to the point where some people have this whole thing where they believe he's like some sort of a holy figure from another dimension and that he's here to teach us to respect the wilderness or something

it's like some avatar of nature I've heard that before and that's why they've never found a big foot body or bones or whatever for example if you google Bigfoot erotica you'll find an ocean of content

about where women have gotten kidnapped from their campsites and then had sex with Bigfoot in a way that was actually very pleasurable for both of them and when googling this Virginia Wade her 16 book Bigfoot erotica series

come to Bigfoot has earned her $30,000 a month on Kindle Direct absolutely and worth it every penny I mean six grand of that is from me alone yeah a loyal

avid supporter of all of her work so Bigfoot represents something to people that I don't fully understand because even if I saw a real Bigfoot I don't think I would care that much I wouldn't devote my life to it

I would tell somebody like if I knew they weren't going to believe me anyway I would just like yeah I did see Bigfoot I thought it was fake too but I did see one but it wouldn't become my whole personality because it was like well who cares I'm sure scientists would be interested but it's like how

do they manage to elude humans for so long so we've only got that one video clip and you say well how'd that guy capture that video clip oh he went out to the woods to make a Bigfoot documentary and just happened to perfectly find one walking across

it was really easy whereas in the era of cell phones of ubiquitous high definition cell phone cameras we've never matched it we've never gotten the equivalent even though they happily just go loping across the field in front of people well I don't think that's true

I think we can prove that wrong with what we're talking about today we're talking about mountain monsters of course it's a general monster hunting show but especially their early seasons they focused entirely on the various

kinds of Bigfeet you might not know that there are many different kinds of Bigfeet but you will soon I was aware of Jason's personal I guess not but some sort of revenge mission against Bigfoot

and I knew the absolute dumbest reality show about Bigfoot hunting that has ever been made and it's wonderful mountain monsters is incredible like they it's specifically about the Appalachian mountains and about the hill folk that live there

hunting the supernatural and is somehow more ridiculous than that sounds like that's how I would pitch it as a joke but it's actually more absurd than that because there's a bunch of hunting Bigfoot reality shows right

and to your point about them being like this isn't one of the real ones which is something that I waffle back and forth on too I have a little section I want to talk about that but they do get in fights with the other quote unquote more serious Bigfoot shows

that see this and like start talking shit about mountain monsters and mountain monsters how fucking dare you sir I'm out there every day hunting Bigfoot like they have feuds a couple of the dudes on this show got more on that later because I did see the on the Wikipedia page

for mountain monsters the finding Bigfoot feud I don't have like a big section on that but they do fight with at least finding Bigfoot I thought there were maybe a couple more that ghost hunting shows just anybody sees this

and it is by far the most ridiculous monster hunting show they have like clearly pre-filmed bits they have like an over arching story that I love so much and like like all ghost and monster hunting shows are just wildly

disrespectful of their audiences intelligence but like mountain monsters if it's trying to be real is so boldly calling you a thumb sucking dipshit for watching it that like I don't know that they're trying to present this as legitimate at all like maybe most supernatural

reality monster hunting shows are doing that and it sucks but mountain monsters is like they've moved beyond fleecing Bigfoot lunatics and into professional wrestling territory like as redneck monster cavefabe it's like a supernatural silk opera

but with untrained actors and no plot structure yeah I think they're trying to use the dipshit reality monster show format to tell a story like a found footage hillbilly jackass supernatural

and if that's what it is and I'm not saying I'm 100% but if it's that's what it is I love it I've only seen you sent me one episode watch in which we will get into but to very brief overview members of the team get possessed by

a psychic Bigfoot that has psychic powers I did not see any of this what you're talking about where there's like more of these overarching plot lines or whatever now one thing that I will say has disappointed me when browsing

doing the research into this and the research was I skimmed the Wikipedia page for mountain monsters for exactly three minutes I saw on there that the oldest member of the crew passed away recently Trapper

John Tice passed away in 2019 of being just old and probably living in extremely unhealthy Bigfoot reasons well see this is my point he passed away during the off season for them

to come back with the first episode after he's dead and not do an episode about how he was killed by a Bigfoot that's a missed call for sure criminal to the point that I feel like they should be sued for not doing that

he would have wanted that if that's not in his living will you can assume he probably didn't have a living will because he would have put it in there his will probably said I leave everything to my sons and daughters or whatever

my bitch wife something like that but whatever the doctor said he's lying I was killed by Bigfoot that's gonna be in my living will I'm whatever however I go it's either cancer or cops we all know it however I go

my obituary is going to say Bigfoot but even if this guy passed away from liver cancer it would be difficult to stage a scene in a doctor's office where he's explaining well you know what happened was the tumors came

from his exposure to Bigfoot energy specifically the liver Bigfoot of Louisiana the little subspecies of Bigfeet seen a lot of these cases in my time and then pan over to the doctor the doctor seven feet tall

covered in fur and then the camera shakes and falls and it just cuts to static oh that take me two seconds to write the perfect you mountain monsters I love this the first thing they say on the show is do not attempt which I thought was so funny because

that's the that's the thing that invalidates my theory a little bit that it's professional wrestling is the entire opening crawl it's very convincing because normally when you see that you're like okay no I'm gonna absolutely do that I think we all grew up like doing

jackass and pro wrestling but like these guys are barely surviving like big footless hikes through the woods you're like you really maybe we shouldn't try what these guys are doing they constantly look like they're about to die yeah they almost die many many many times and for the record here's the opening crawl and it's

entirely do not attempt the traps and procedures the traps and procedures seen in this program were developed by experienced professionals bigfoot professionals and should not be duplicated before conducting any hunting or trapping activities consult appropriate

authorities to ensure that your actions are safe and legal and I just wow that blasts a hole in my theory that they're not trying to trick you because you can't be this stupid since that entire crawl is like so carefully worded to be real yeah okay for example in this episode we're

going to discuss they build a trap for a big he's a professional bigfoot trap artist you should where there's you should hunt bigfoot too but make sure the cops are cool with it just a little bit of a of a dent or a low area in the the forest so they build like a little

bridge across and then halfway across the bridge there's a false panel that falls through to drop to track the bigfoot to scope into it yeah of course because of course the bigfoot would automatically take the man-made bridge that they build now Jason

would it since you've only watched the one episode allow me to enlighten you that this is the format of the show there is a two pronged attack where there are the investigators which are our main crew and our trappers and every episode well almost every episode

is a is a myth busters like segment where they come up with a trap for a monster that does not exist yeah and I actually did put that together having just seen the one episode I do feel like I generally grasp

the the the concept but the point is that that is the one thing that the authorities legitimately are scared people will do which is like well there's no harm in building a trap for a bigfoot out there if I catch one fine if not fine it's like no you're going to catch

a child hiking with their family bigfoot child they're gonna break their leg only a bigfoot would fall into this trap because they're they're making it seem like this is by far the best way to catch a bigfoot just throw together a very poorly made poorly made trap the other thing

I do want to cite right now there's a lot of accusations on the Wikipedia page of people accusing the show of being scripted I'm telling you right now I don't feel like this is scripted just I feel like I detect a lot of

improv here I feel like it's kind of curb your enthusiasm scripted where it's like yeah I think they're scripted with a lot of room yeah a lot of room for these performers to breathe I have a question about the disclaimer did it say

for the audience to contact the authorities before they go build their bigfoot traps consult appropriate authorities to ensure that your actions are safe and legal so it does not say it says before conducting any hunting or trapping activities consult appropriate authorities

so it is directly encouraging the audience get out there call your fishing game warden call the local police call the sheriff's department I saw this on the show that I could trap a bigfoot with a fake bridge it just sounds like a real good time to me

you all do a license for that like some sort of bigfoot license is it bigfoot season is it even bigfoot season I'm just gonna go into the woods with my elderly morbidly obese friends a lot of guns all seven of them

morbidly obese hillbillies drop a few trees on the verge of death just standing there this show does celebrate a lot of different body types yes I don't necessarily see in a Hollywood production if they were to make a movie

about these guys they probably would cast people who are different they would cast these wonderful actors themselves why would you mess with this magic they are excellent actors you're gonna have to indulge me for a second

as I try to articulate this but they say at the start of the show this could be the most dangerous bigfoot they've encountered which for me shattered the fantasy because like in one way these guys probably have encountered many types of bigfoot

and probably more than one of the main non-psychic kind of big feet and they've been doing it for seven seasons multiple camera crews and this is like the fifth show about exactly that and no one's ever got one on tape and like people say you can't prove a negative but I think maybe they have

maybe when you have 40,000 hours of the greatest bigfoot hunters encountering bigfoot and he's still like not there on the camera you fulfilled the basics of scientific proof that's just my point and I know I'm talking a long time but this all this that I'm saying hit me the very moment he said

this is the most dangerous bigfoot we've ever encountered like just a sledgehammer of like oh well this is fucking stupid I can't believe any of this now they don't have it on camera but often times there's a very good reason see they do have you're talking like most people

so you probably assume something about these monster hunter shows which is that it's like every other monster hunter show where it's very nebulous it's left up they never get it on camera they don't like encounter the monster they encounter a shadow or they encounter noise

or it's just left like what was that will we ever know that is not what happens in Mountain Monsters they are directly like the crew is directly attacked by these monsters just nonstop throughout the episode are constantly being personally mauled

by all of these monsters now it's crazy that it doesn't show up on camera since they all have cameras but sometimes there's a very good reason for that like in this case the bigfoot they're going after is the Cherokee Devil

it's not just a bigfoot it's a legendary bigfoot because as the show will explain there are different bigfoot tiers and the reason he doesn't show up on camera is because you have to be alone to see him

otherwise he does not manifest from the spirit to the physical plane so the big feet in the monster hunter universe are supernatural oh there's all different kinds there's a sheep squash it's a sheep flavored bigfoot

and there's thunder I think it's just called thunder man who's like a lightning master and they have to put together like a legendary axe to defeat him and the legendary axe is like hidden throughout Appalachia that's like a GI Joe 3 partner

I know it's great fight lightning bigfoot there's like a rival crew of evil monster hunters that come into play at some point and start sabotaging them and leaving them like jigsaw like messages about like monsters they have to hunt

it's the best show that's fucking great so the Sewell Kalu I took some notes during the show the Cherokee gave this psychic bigfoot that name and he ate all their game so if like the Cherokee were out hunting

and they couldn't find anything to kill they were like oh it's that Sewell Kalu came and killed everything which seems like a kind of a normal folk legend like kind of a cute thing you joke about so you know you blame the boogeyman when something's not going right and so they're talking about this like they looked it up at the library

and then Buck who is the expert caller on the team chimes in from the back seat of the car this is all taking place in the car and he goes I read about that there Sue Kalu too he married a little Cherokee girl so he adds in an insane interspecies child bride bee plot

that no one indulges in they're all just like god damn it Buck no we did not agree on the little Cherokee girl they did they do they have to so he's just a fucking ghost sex trafficker this bigfoot now and they just ignore him Jeff gets back to what he's talking about like okay

they say the Sewell Kalu can read your thoughts and then now if the legends are true and this Cherokee devil can read our thoughts he may be the most dangerous bigfoot we've ever encountered and then a whole lot of nude yoga jokes and they all talk about how like I love the nude yoga

bits Huckleberry naked yoga in front of me I've seen his naked butthole and they all laugh and it goes on so long who is the one who spotted the Sewell Kalu and they keep going with the nudity jokes which I think is a very uncomfortable thing to do to a woman alone in the woods now at this point

this is this has survived this like nudity joke bit has survived a location change because they start making all of those jokes about but Huckleberry doing or Jeff doing new yoga in my room it's so gross they're in the car and then we cut away and they've walked like eight miles into the woods to meet this woman

in the middle of a clearing who's just hanging out waiting for him and they immediately start back up with the naked hillbilly like we're so gross naked and it's yeah it is relevant to the story she didn't run

yeah this is foreshadowing believe it or not that's not you may have thought they were just riffing at the time but it's going to come back into play but here's my question this is this is where I get a little bit lost the woman they talk to is telling them about the myth of the she was

someone who saw the Cherokee Devil herself right yes so she comes across like she thinks she's being interviewed for a real Bigfoot show like I assumed this was someone who actually had gone to the local media and said yeah

I saw a Bigfoot versus someone they just cast to play that part in the show well to be clear she says like maybe she didn't know how dumb this show was and thought they were actually going to investigate her her thing oh no because because she

does say that once she saw the Bigfoot he did psychically possess her and march her eight miles across the woods right so she knows what she's getting into right so you know when you like get blackout drunk and you walk

eight miles across the woods and you wake up you're like god damn it that Bigfoot all right let's do hold on let's do a real quick hillbilly monster hunter roll call because we're going to drop a lot of names there's a very big cast for like a monster hunting show so

all right let's praise this as a game I'm going to read you guys I hope you take a note I'm going to read you a name and you're going to tell me whether or not he's a weary 60 year old hillbilly dressed like a Cabela's catalog yes they all are trapper I can save you some time yes no not

trapper wait are you talking about trapper or the guy who is the trapper no trapper the one named trapper is he a weary 60 year old hillbilly dressed like a militia man uh yeah yes yes he is that's very good

that's very good Jason Buck is he a weary 60 year old hillbilly dressed like a militia man well now some of them are not elderly right some of them are the younger guys but I do they all did sort of run together for me it felt like 14 years old

yeah one one guy seemed fairly young but I don't know which one it was but so I but I will I will still bet yes on this one no see Buck is the 30 year old obese hillbilly dressed like a militia man who always looks like he's riding an ATV even though he's not that's but he's their expert

caller a baby I'm saying if you told me that was a giant baby I'd say yeah okay he's kind of a giant man baby but he is also the expert caller to call the supernatural trapper was of course the team leader their security is Huckleberry is he uh is he a weary

60 year old hillbilly yeah he is that guy Jason is Jeff the researcher a weary 60 year old hillbilly uh boy I sure think so yes he is he absolutely

is now how about Willie one of the trap builders yeah absolutely I think weary might not be the word for Willy he seems kind of one of the two very dangerous men like that's correct he is addicted to methamphetamines that

is absolutely correct yeah one of the one of those guys who had done it it seemed like his heart was about to explode at some point he was very high you are talking about wild bill the expert tracker uh okay

some sort of methed out shed bomber anyway that's our cast I just wanted I prepared that little game for you and uh you both did pretty well and if it's okay I would like to point out something if you try researching what any of these people were doing before they were cast on

monster mounts mountain monsters hunters you will find nothing their backgrounds are more like it's actually easier to find a big foot each one there's three primary members of the cast

and who I guess were like friends from school who it says not much is known about their early life but they live their their lifelong residents of Virginia and the rest of them I guess there's some controversy because some people claim they're actors that were

then cast for the show but they can't no one can find their previous acting credits or any kind of information about them or has ever seen them before prior to which I find that fascinating because some of these guys I thought well there'd have to be something

you know they were maybe they were previously on like some sort of a hunting show or whatever but no I feel it's like they kind of were manifest out of from the wilderness to give us this show I do think they did like a hill folk roll call and just

the people came in and were like yeah I believe that's that guy would spend his whole life hunting big feet you take one look at Huckleberry and you're like yeah that guy is going to fall through the woods looking for big foot for the next seven years

alright where did we leave off in the show like they were just oh yeah we're barely even hunting big foot well yeah they had met I can tell you one thing it's already you and I disagree on something what's that because and this is again I do not have the knowledge of this show I've only seen this one

for this particular episode my impression was that one to this is an hour long show with ads if you're watching on streaming it's 45 minutes right I think they shot maybe 12 minutes of footage in the woods

that they then recycled and reshot and recut in many ways and you kept mentioning that they walked all the way through the woods these guys their overalls are spotless and brand new you're right I was being generous with what with the wall they

it really does look like they parked in some like you know a path right off the highway and then walked a very brief distance to with the we're going to mention the little building where the events occur that has electricity it's got a light on

that I think is just right off the highway and they walk out to the building I think four times and that's that's it that's all the traipsing through the woods they do this show does not feel high effort to me no it's

yeah I was being very generous with walking through the woods for the next seven years I didn't mean to imply mileage I just meant that they would walk like into the woods just barely because like let's get to where they start they start their investigation after talking to Liz that's all like the material that they need she's like yeah

I got blackout drunk and it was probably bigfoot it was bigfoot juice that did it and that's all the info they need because they went into this meeting knowing that it was a psychic bigfoot that he has mind control powers and she's like yeah I don't know what happened he took control

my mind I walked seven miles I woke up on the highway and then they all take turns going like how could this be I'm like you fucking idiot all going straight up bullshit they go like bullshit bigfoot doesn't have psychic powers like there's a law about it you fucking read about this guy you've

been talking about him all day it's the premise of the show it's the episode synopsis but I think they need conflict at some point so they're like no trapper hates the idea of psychic bigfoot but Buck with his with his Cherokee heritage who uh why do not believe has Cherokee blood in him

although that is an integral part of this plot line he is all in on psychic bigfoot from the start but like Jason's saying like it's night time they get out of their truck they walk about 50 feet into the woods and they stop and trapper says damn look at this it's damn

honeysuckle domes that's the perfect place for that son of a bitch to be and Buck says hell yeah it is he crawls under it and goes damn kind of creepy under here something moves and he goes wait flush it out they found bigfoot 50 feet from the first place they parked

8 more 8 minutes into the episode hiding in a small a small bush in the first bush they checked they looked in a bush and were like well hot damn that's a bigfoot it's just it's the most successful rabbit hunt I would have ever been on

to be clear these guys because they've not we've not seen the trap people yet these guys go into the woods each of them with pump shot guns with the goal of murdering bigfoot yeah as far as you as far as you know at this point in the show they're just going to go kill bigfoot they're going to go

assassinate bigfoot because it assaulted this woman it took over her brain for it so it's like no we're our job is to find bigfoot and to take him out and he is and he is squatting in a bush 50 feet from the parking lot to this trail and it's and that's where he was

this whole time they've already we've already seen one of them eat so much shit Huckleberry just face plants like these guys are really elderly and obese and not very sure footed I mean walking you gotta be held together with Percocet and this dude just fucking face plants like they

they should not be hunting bigfoot they do their own stunt work whether or not whether or not they mean to they do their own stunt work it is very clear watching that the one episode I watched that these guys falling down is like a trope of the show that

fans demand like the fans have like a drinking game around and then a whatever message board or whatever discord servers where all the mountain mountain monster fans hang out like betting on who's gonna fall down first it's clearly a big part of the show

they make a big thing out of it because they treat it like an emergency musical stings shaky camera work oh my god Huckleberry is down it's to be fair each and every one of these guys when they fall down you do doubt whether it might be the last time

it might be it might be the last time for sure for sure Huckleberry I feel like Huckleberry just standing there I'm never a hundred percent if he just died standing up like he might just like wave in front of him and be like nope Huck's gone

that was it went peaceful like this fucking horizontal man just was like I'm gonna go circle around the book like he's not only gonna catch bigfoot yeah buck so they split up buck takes off and buck goes immediately missing again we're

eight and a half minutes into the episode and bigfoot has kidnapped psychically kidnapped one of the monster hunters now I have there's no there's no comms the team has no comms they're in appalachia so their cell phones don't work but they also don't have radios they got hollering

they got hooting and hooting hollering and hooting yeah and part of the charm of this is that their training and methods just having done a lot of episodes of this show you would think they would have more of a system

than what they have for actually hunting and spotting like you know paw prints or whatever but when this guy when he went missing I actually paused the show because are you guys

familiar with the long running discovery channel the lobster fishing show or crab fishing the deadliest catch yeah sure people who watch it there's like a span of three years it's the most popular show on all of cable but one

of the captains one of the main guys actually passed away in the off season and of course these shows you know the broadcast months later for those of you who thought mountain monsters was filmed live and just broadcast directly in your home it's there's months later so the news headlines that

captain phil had passed away hit months before the episode did like nobody watching the show was shocked to find out like you they played it up at the start of the episode like okay this is the one where he has a stroke and where you know and they're kind of like explaining

what what happened but it's understood that because this is not fake a real person's died so all the fans knew because it makes news the guy was extremely famous so here it was the same thing when this guy went missing right before

the commercial the obvious commercial break I paused it and then googled the news to see if a guy had been killed by a big foot in whatever state they're in where does this take place this is North Carolina for the Cherokee Devil

I didn't see anything so I did kind of spoil the episode for myself a little bit because I also googled well did did someone trap a Cherokee Devil like was that on the news was that on CNN you know maybe like a few years ago and I just didn't miss it like if it was trending

on Twitter that day and it's like no I couldn't find so they never got it again I feel like it would have come out even before the show aired it would be difficult for them to hide the fact that they're in possession of a of a big foot that they would have to like what keep them storage until the episode airs

you're thinking so literally there are many ways to defeat a big foot and that's really what the show is all about is defeating Bigfoot at his own game I would say Buck maybe lost to the Bigfoot as hard as you could lose as already lost Buck disappears and

it's because he lost to the Bigfoot he is being where again we are nine minutes into the show and Buck is being psychically controlled by a Bigfoot they go to this shed there's like a shed and like Jason said it seems like there's a light in there like that's electricity Bigfoot shed it's a big it's just a Bigfoot shed

and there's a light on in it and Buck is sitting mind controlled in there like Blair Witch style because Bigfoot has hypnotized him into meditating in a shed and they they go in there and he's acting all out of it and he goes he told me not to move you know who

and he goes him and points out the window and the camera spins around to see nothing because they have night vision cameras but they still try to do the old trick where they look into the dark and like oh is there something there but there's not and they close up on it

and there's not and then there's a slap on the side of the shed like Bigfoot is over there just drumming on the walls and they go you gotta come out but you gotta come out Buck and he jumps up this I gotta say 350 pound man no judgment

but like he is and his stunt work for the day is to flee into the woods which they probably shouldn't have given to him because he goes about 10 feet literally 10 feet he makes it outside the shed and then just falls nobody trips him he just can't work feet for that

long and everybody piles on top of him like stay with him oh my god Buck's gonna get away and he's already just like down and breathing heavy nope it looks like a bunch of movers dropping a filled water bed like he just collapses in like a liquid

gelatinous getting back up like after they finally get back up and he starts puking and I think they're trying to play it off like that's oh this is like what happens when Bigfoot mind controls you but no I think he ran 10 feet I just don't think he's ready to do that it went poorly for him

anyway this is like a really scary moment and what we do at a really scary moment in this episode is we cut away to a terrible CGI model of like Darth Bigfoot this is what we do every time it gets really scary we cut to a commercial break and like a really poor rendering

of CGI Bigfoot spins around and we zoom in on his glowing red eyes it's like a PlayStation 1 era seriously PS1 graphics we cut back and Huckleberry's going something's got a hold of his mind I don't know what it is

there's evil in these here what's right here I don't know what it is maybe it's the fucking psychic Bigfoot Bigfoot there's well there's something else to note that this show does that thing when it comes back from commercial break it really shows you the thing that just happened in case you forgot

so that's one way they stretch the tiny amount of footage they shot I cannot emphasize how little they shot for this show it's mostly reaction shots too they repeat things so many times

and every time you come back from a break they have to show you the last sequence again and then they they bring you up to speed I guess that's why that's so important like they do the repeat thing but they also before then they also have a testimonial sometimes

so it'll be like it'll cut to commercial with like Buck dying like Bigfoot has control of his mind and he's fucking dying and then it comes back and it's like yeah so I was dying in the woods because Bigfoot was inside my mind you're like wait no the drama of the scene has been killed because

because my mind wasn't big enough to host a Bigfoot I'm talking to you from the future I'm totally fine but and then they have to go back and show like okay here's what led up to the moment we just fucked up so yeah they love to they also do the padding by cutting

back which I haven't seen in another react where they cut back multiple times to the same person to make them react to it again like they're using every take because Huckleberry says that something's got to hold there's evil in these woods and then they cut back to him a second later and Huckleberry goes I'm not into this

hocus pocus bullshit but something had to hold to him which like you're on a Bigfoot haunt you're into it all they all take but then they cut back to Huckleberry again and he goes this has got me in an uproar and by god I'm gonna do something about it like he's escalating each time just getting madder and madder at Bigfoot

over here in the corner it's wonderful so is this the point where they now switch to the B team the trapping team we cut to the B team which are Wild Bill and Willy which one is the guy who's going like a hundred miles an hour

that's Wild Bill if you couldn't tell by the name but they're both alright they're both on a lot of meth they both got meth eyes like if you're wondering where all the meth is in Appalachia it's in Wild Bill and Willy they they share one blink between the two of them and they do not use it

but we cut to them to Jerry Rigg man trapped in the woods which is great and like I said that's the format there's like a myth buster segment which is their B team which is just two methed up hillbillies arguing over

how to zip tie chain link to catch Bigfoot and here's the problem the folklore says this Bigfoot can leap mountains and they figure well what that really means is he probably jumps gully to gully like why are we capitulating I don't get why we're capitulating on Bigfoot mythos

like mountain jumping Bigfoot more ridiculous than psychic Bigfoot but what they decide to do is they build a rickety little bridge which I guess Bigfoot's love and then they have a drop away door in the middle of it and the logic is this

he jumps from gully to gully so he must be tired of doing that and he would really appreciate the break a bridge would give him and that's it Wild Bill loves it Robert what information were they acting on

that made them think the Bigfoot would cross this exact spot in the woods of the thousands and thousands of square miles what did they find that made them think this exact spot was the place to put this bridge oh well they found a trail and then they decided since they were looking for Bigfoot

this is a Bigfoot trail and that seems reductive of me but that's actually word for word what they say I have that in my notes this is the trail Bigfoot probably uses they find a trail they say well we're looking for Bigfoot this is the trail Bigfoot probably uses

so that's where we build the bridge some of the more ignorant listeners have said well now wait a second that also could be a trail that humans use hunters and such and so you have now booby-trapped a trail that people use

and left it there in the night because they do leave this takes place over several nights but you fools you have to understand catching the Cherokee Devil matters more this is the kind of triage

you have to do it's like yes we will have to sacrifice the safety of some people who may just be browsing through the woods hunting for whatever or just enjoying the beauty of the woods because otherwise how are you going to keep them safe from the mind controlling

Bigfoot also I should note the whole joy of having a build team in your reality show is that they're good at building things they are not it's fun to watch them make magic happen and build cool stuff these guys it's like

if the three of us went and tried to build a Bigfoot trap right now with no supplies you two guys may be good carpenters I don't know that about you but it would be like if me and several of my comedian friends went out in the woods and had

it's like this is the best we could do it's like a couple of boards and then we just sort of screwed some stuff together but it looks like something some children did Willie is supposed to be the expert trap builder so you can blame this on Willie but like Wild Bill what I love so much about this

is the relationship just even in these like couple of episodes that this art goes you see so much love and support for for Willie from Wild Bill every idea he has is like well I'm gonna build a bridge and Wild Bill goes aw shit

and then I'm gonna put a drop down door I'll drop down door in it Wild Bill seems like he's just up for anything he's up for anything he's on a lot of men and he loves he loves Willie when they when they set up to to build the bridge it's just like a full on rock and roll tree fall

on scene and so Willie starts up the chain saw he starts to drop the tree and the whole time Wild Bill is back there like my name like he's just like he's really doing it he's really cutting the tree down

and then Wild Bill like for no reason like sets up some fucking like log racing shit and like runs up a tree and then with zero expertise repels down it like he's never done it before goes like full balls out barely touches the tree on the way down and eats

total shit like he seems to be surviving on balls alone he runs up that tree with pure meth stickiness just a meth squirrel scampering up that tree I was so impressed like how he I was not impressed with how he came down

which was he just fell on his back he just fell out of the tree he fell three stories onto his back and then bounced off yes he's on meth so he's fine he's also like hardcore marine like he's like a where put pitbull like marine old man

and if you look at his face it looks like he's had his face punched in and never let the broken noses heal as they just broke on top of each other on top of each other so he's got like this just a vertical smear for a face and cauliflower ears like it just looks like he's been doing nothing but wrestling

for fucking 70 years straight he's taking some hits and let allow him to demonstrate by running up a tree and then falling on his back that was his contribution to the trap that is the best scene of character building in this show is the two minutes of him miming

air chainsaw next to his friend and then getting so amped he runs up a tree he shows back like everything I need to know about that character I now know you're gonna get that some bitch I love the idea of Bigfoot watching and being like okay these are the guys coming after me

I'm in so much trouble alright so the thing is you would think if this was a normal reality show you would think they had cut these guys and told them to act this way to bring up the energy of the show maybe they thought like things were a little bit flat

or that the psychic Bigfoot thing wasn't actually coming across like they thought and so they had been given the direction like really go like really play up the speed of what you're doing or whatever unfortunately and I don't know I don't want to accuse these people of being

drug users if they're not I will say they are extremely extremely energetic to agree that it is weird A team is drunk on Sillshine and just stumbling about the woods

B team is pure country meth and is just firing it up with that energy and I think that's why the show works is these wild slashes back and forth and Jason did talk some shit about their bridge but I think it's not a bad bridge

for seven minutes in a chainsaw like that they almost died making like they didn't even play it up because they cut the tree so poorly that it just like a huge branch almost fell on his head and they both make a face like wo-oh and then he just goes wheeeee

as he does every time he survives near death I want to talk about how when they're driving around the Ford logos blacked out on their truck which I thought was kind of funny because normally this is a way for shows to sneak in product placement like if you watch on

like Top Chef somebody had to have asked and Ford is like send us an episode and they sent Sheep Squatch the Sheep Squatch episode I guess when you're driving on the mountains to feed a hillbilly to Sasquatch no one wants their brand associated with you

I don't know it seems fair Robert is trying so hard to progress forward with this episode but it's the proper energy so I don't want to derail you we catch up to Buck and Buck is the next day

and he's just sadly moping in a golf cart about getting Bigfoot mind molested and there's some talk about it and to be clear he cried he was like bawling he did this tearful crying thing after he realized he had been mind molested by Bigfoot

if the show was making a joke of it then it's a weird moment they take it very seriously yeah from some real sexual trauma I want to say that he was like a 5 out of 10 actor

it was weirdly not that bad yeah he did okay on the Bigfoot trauma sections specifically not on anything else this felt like genuine acting to me like I couldn't tell he was performing quite as much as the rest of the show where it's just obviously canned lines

whereas this is like he's tapping into something very troublingly real but also I think if you get mind dominated by a gorilla ghost and then you cry in front of your best friends maybe you should be carrying a gun I don't know well he's so rattled I think that they

try to take him off of the front lines of the Bigfoot war and here's the experience as he relates it he says Bigfoot said follow me and then it grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the shack and said don't move

which I'm assuming was a psychic command because he didn't move and so many other like monster hunting shows dance around this and they do the are they real what did we really see what's out there thing I fuck that Bigfoot is a jerk he grabbed me

and he yelled at me like I was saying Bigfoot has harassed him with a hand print not only from the Bigfoot he has a big hand print on his arm that he rolls up his sleeve to show he also has a hand print on the other arm

of where the little Cherokee girl grabbed him so he has been grabbed by a Bigfoot and a Bigfoot ghost and uh to create a mental picture for the audience the hand print of the little girl was created by someone grabbing his arm the bruising from the Bigfoot

grabbing him was created by him taking some brown paint and or makeup and smearing and kind of smearing it on in no way done by someone who knew how to like make bruising for a TV show it literally is just like paint smears on his arm

like Bigfoot rubbed off on him I think he might have done it to himself like he had someone grab him like Jason said it was just looks like a human grabbed his hand like two minutes before they filmed this because I think this is Buck's deal I think the little Cherokee girl is him

like forcing it into the show I don't think anyone else wanted Bigfoot to be married to a child well because again he keeps bringing up his Cherokee heritage and I think they're all looking at him like Buck, maybe you drove a Cherokee once like you've drove a Cherokee into a casino

that's your Indian heritage Buck's fucking ancestry is Kirby this motherfucker is a Kirby anyway Buck is getting himself a character arc because now he needs to get back in them woods to overcome Bigfoot trauma

despite saying that he just says I'm gonna go to sleep now and he leaves I gotta get back in them woods but I'm gonna go to sleep now so he's out for the day he needs the day off we haven't mentioned that

the Cherokee girl said something to him right it was like something in Cherokee that he remembered I kind of remembered exactly I kind of remembered the exact quote even though I can't say it and then he looked it up as the Cherokee word for peace which again

does not align with the plot of the show like they're going to hunt and kill this Bigfoot and he's like no it wants peace like no fucking fuck your Cherokee girl bullshit fuck I think they give into a little bit then the rapper comes out and be like

there's something in those woods Bigfoot don't want us to see that's my favorite part is that Bigfoot has secrets I love that Bigfoot has secrets so stupid so they're getting inside Bigfoot's head they know that Bigfoot's trying to chase them away

from something so they head to that same shack where they found Buck and the show is about finding out Bigfoot's secret now that's the key to capturing a Bigfoot but Bigfoot Bigfoot didn't want Buck at all what he was actually doing was playing mind games

using Buck planted in the shed to distract them from his honey suckle domes which I guess is where Bigfoot lives remember the first place they checked they parked next to Bigfoot HQ on day one of the Bigfoot hunt and they got to get back there but there's nothing out of the ordinary

but something Huckleberry ain't feeling right he again falls down a short hill possibly to never rise again this one I thought might have been a stunt because I was like that old man ate shit that old man ate some shit down a very small hill and then they go to wake him up

and he turns around and he screams and he attacks them to the best of his ability it's more like some gentle slapping and then he gets tired and they kind of lay on top then he like in some sort of a fit of psychic rage he points at a thing

so somehow Bigfoot took over his mind and made him into a maniac he also told him where the secret totem pole was to the Bigfoot riddle and I just before we skip over that Bigfoot thought he was in Huckleberry's head but actually

Huckleberry was in Bigfoot's head yeah you can't gaze into the Huckleberry without the Huckleberry gazing back but before we skip over that they cut to a reaction and Trapper and Trapper self-owns the team a bit when he says it took 500 pounds of men to hold him down but there were only two of them

yes anyway yes he points to a totem pole that's just clearly like from a garage sale or carved by somebody and they go oh my god it's a totem pole that tells us everything that's going on in these words they speak Cherokee

hieroglyphics so then Huckleberry says I will find you and kill you like he's Bigfoot speaking through Huckleberry now yes Bigfoot has possessed one of the hunters and is now threatening them and he says it don't matter Jeff I'll find you I'll kill you

and he says I know who's gonna die okay and then they my notes they say they desecrate these secret Cherokee artifacts for no reason and then they leave so they pick up the totem pole they throw it on the ground and then they leave

well it's not for no reason we'll get to that later okay I think this is just like the bad guys from Indiana Jones it's like a reality show about them they're just running around hunting precious creatures that only want peace desecrating sacred artifacts accidentally murdering hikers

in the woods I think they might be the bad guys is my point so they've ditched the exposition totem pole that tells them everything they needed to know and they cut the trapper and he goes I don't give a fuck if it's my time to well like it's into that

like this is a sundown town for big feet so they've got their traps built they've got the riddle of Bigfoot all queued up they leave Huckleberry freshly possessed by Bigfoot in the truck all alone and they go to catch the trap boys

up on like which of their crew are being currently mind controlled by Bigfoot which is more than you would expect up to two two out of four of us have been mind controlled by the Bigfoot Bigfoot's taking us down left and right and also we've experienced a prophecy of death

on account of Bigfoot and Wild Bill, I love this part so much Wild Bill totally on the phase goes well shit this sounds like some scary stuff and trapper was clearly not supposed to but yeah even he has to like laugh a little that lines a little

Wild Bill is down for whatever Huckleberry, they look back and Huckleberry is gone oh no we need you Buck, we lost Huck is what they say and so now it's Buck's redemption arc he has to make up for being mind controlled by

psychic Cherokee Bigfoot by finding somebody else who is being mind controlled by psychic Cherokee Bigfoot and the team runs into the woods looking for Huckleberry while Buck heads to the honeysuckle dome and Bigfoot shack there are third visit to that

little shack again this tiny little patch of woods that they shot this in it has electricity it's on somebody's property permission to film in this guy's backyard he's like are you guys going to play Bigfoot out here all day

I really like that Buck does not seem ready for this and he's talking to the cameraman almost like the cameraman has to be a therapist at this point where he's like look I'm mind controlled by Bigfoot but I gotta do something I'm just going to wander breathlessly into the nothing and hope something happens

that it's good and the cameraman's got to be like again, none of this is real but you would think this is where the cameraman would like forget his duties as a documentarian and be like no, Buck you gotta fucking go home and rest Buck this Bigfoot is just fucking owning the shit out of you guys left and right

but Buck's going to head out there by himself even though he says it ain't smart because I'm looking for two things most important of all I'm looking for Huckleberry but I'm also looking for closure I got me a character Arkeha

but he finds the Indian girl he finds the Indian girl it's a movement in the little shed and he runs in there and she's gone and he spends I swear to God 17 fucking hours going how? she was in here I saw her how

that's how fucking ghosts work you fucking idiot god damn it Buck and uh you can't figure out how a ghost walks through a door with this giant hole in his mind he is clearly ripe for

Bigfoot controlling again so Bigfoot once again remote controls him they find him just like chilling on a log because I guess Bigfoot doesn't really know what to do with the buck like he wants to get control him and he's just like this guy's on his yeah he's not doing much let's have him sit down

the team finds him he tells him he saw the Cherokee girl and Trapper goes well now there's something about that damn shit which there might be and buck goes my mind's overwhelmed which you know it might be and they still got all the fine huckleberry

did you notice he mentions the shit not the girl like no one will indulge buck's bullshit B plot of the Cherokee girl he does force this into the narrative though buck wins buck wins if your theory is right and this was not the plan from the start buck does get his way and

so they go back to the totem pole looking for huckleberry but that's all bitches gone and somebody moved the totem pole which they claim is a feat impossible for man despite the fact that they did it they did it earlier okay can you describe for the listener what the totem

I think they're picturing a totem pole something fancier than what they actually found no it's like it's like maybe a first shop quality totem pole that has been left out in the rain for a long time possibly just a piece of wood that somebody crudely hacked a design into

it's very this is absolutely the straightest log they found in 20 minutes of wandering around the woods yeah you might be picturing like a 20 foot tall totem pole this is like a 5 foot tall piece of wood and someone has taken a router with just a shallow little bit on it

and they've just drawn like a few faces drawn the way and they may have bought it somewhere but I think it's just as possible that the production crew has spent literally 20 minutes making this thing while Bill and Willie messed up and they got a chisel

and they made themselves a big foot pole and it nearly killed both of them anyway Huckleberry is off hollering in the woods and the boys run out all screaming and panicking and Trapper says run them down Willie knowing full well that running is for the meth boys

they find Huckleberry naked and probably 10% filthier than usual holding this giant totem pole and looking around wildly and holy shit this is it we were saying earlier you see all that talk about gross naked old men comes full circle

it's right that's called writing it's a callback they dive tackle him into the water and Jeff says are you Huckleberry now and Huckleberry says I'm a wet Huckleberry and Bill says hell yeah

so it was at that moment because obviously when they find him completely nude and pixelating his penis and covered in mud and then kind of fighting with this poorly made totem pole

obviously that's one of the funniest things that's ever happened on a TV show in any genre 10 out of 10 hilarious and then no leave off because this scene ends with Willie running up and dive tackling him

into a lake well right and then he does his two camera the two of the camera interview about it while still totally nude it's such a perfect punchline yeah fully nude

but this is the point is it supposed to be funny because again at the moment they had the guy start like crying real hard actor tears about being possessed by Bigfoot I thought oh this is actually a show for the Bigfoot believers

and they're goofy and lighthearted in their manner but this is supposed to be convincing to Bigfoot enthusiasts of the world yeah they got in those fights with other Bigfoot shows about how they're just as serious and they spent all this time doing it

yeah we but then when the clearly funniest possible thing happens and it's a call back to the jokes they were making earlier like how wouldn't it be awful to see this guy naked and then it's like oh that's actually that was our checkoffs gun

right with a different sound track this is an episode of Arrested Development this is like a really good episode of Arrested Development yeah so I now legitimately at that point and by the way it I will say something happened

that really did affect me emotionally which is when I realized this was part one of a two part episode and that you would give me just a part one and it seemed to imply that I was supposed to watch more of this show it's like why will this never know what happens and because again

they left it up in the air like will we capture the bigfoot because the trap never this in the episode like the trap never came into play I mean you have to end the episode on that scene that scene is so perfect everything comes together you get the big laugh you got to go out and they the buck buck gets the last line

the episode by saying we didn't even get to go after that stupid Cherokee devil we didn't even get to try for that bigfoot but yes this is episode one of two and they end on a cliffhanger and actually I specifically forbade you from watching

episode two because yes this is a two part season finale and I think there might have been some hints in the lead up to the exit like when Trapper says I tell you what we're gonna do we're gonna go home we're gonna heal up mentally and physical we're gonna come back

and then Huckleberry says we'll come back and then Jeff says hell yeah we're coming back and then buck says we're coming back guys so like I think they're they're coming back I think they're coming back just gonna leave that trap out in the woods they do leave the bridge

they just leave it there as they because that plays a part in the in the next episode even though they established that they take a break from it and that damn psychic bigfoot with his big city forest smarts messed up the bigfoot hunt

and buck buck has like a little bit of it's not like a closure to his arc but they do give him at least a line at the end where he says the rest of the teams looking for the Cherokee Devil I already found him he's in my head

and now I don't know how to get rid of him so like oh shit is buck a sleeper agent for the big feet does Huckleberry look horrible naked again who can solve the riddle of bigfoot will Wild Bill and Willy get married married or just gully married

find out next time on 1900 hot dogs thrill and bonus episode hot dog master mountain the riddle of psychic bigfoot's gold love is in the air tonight is 60 count of 60 swing and singles 5 for the attention of one lovely mate

takes a king to rule a country but only love rules supreme love is the best love is the best love is the best love is the best love is the best

love is the best love is the best love rules? Supreme. It's love Supreme. Let's meet our competitors. Three-finger Louis. Aaron Crossden. Adrian H. Aiden Moat likes long walks on the beach. Oh, put that one early. Step up your game, singles. Alpha Sciences Java. Andreas Larson. Armando Nava likes short walks on the beach. A big swing. Benjamin Sironin. Finn Tolton. Brandon Garlock. Brian Saylor likes running on the beach. Hey, alright. Brianne Whitley. Brockway loves the meat millie. Yes, he does.

Zero. Rev. Chase McPherson likes medium-length beach drives. Okay, yeah, alright. Get that one. Chris Brower. Curious Glare. Dan B. D. Costello. Donald Finney. Dr. Awkward likes horseback riding on the beach. See, that's how you do it, Chase McPherson. That's how you do it. We got Eric Spalding. Fancy Shark. Jell-O. Hambone. Booking loves the beach. Their words, their emphasis. Harakka. Hot fart. Jacob Thornberg would make a love to the beach if only society would allow it. Okay. John Dean. John McCammond. John Minkoff. Josh S. Ken Paisley is the beach. No, not following on that one, Ken. Oh, he's doing a beach impression now.

That's actually really good. K&M. Laziest man on Mars. Mark. Matt Riley races the beach to the horizon every night and will do so until he catches her. Hey, that's beautiful. Michael Lair. Michael Wells. Mike Stiles. Mojoo. N.D. Neil Bailey writes, If you cut me, do I not bleed sand? He's gutting himself now. Good Lord, it is sand masterfully played. Nia Schaefer. Nick Ralston. Nick H. Ozzy Olin. Patrick Herbst has just legally changed his name to Beach McSlop. I get beach. Is there a significance to McSlop? No, he's shaking his head. No. Rain Vargas. Rhiannon. Rich Jocelyn. Zarkowski. Spotty reception just bought the beach and no other

contestants are allowed on it. Baby, if you like the beach, there is one game in town. Ted H. has just murdered spotty reception and stolen the beach team. Looking back, this one was inevitable. Tim Ilehi. Toasty God has dynamite and a dream. Won't you make a new beach? Together? If that doesn't work on them, Toasty God, it worked on me. Tom Segula. Tommy G. Yossarian. And our stunning star, the center of all this attention and deserves every bit of it. The gorgeous, the talented, Jaybur Al Aiden, whose turnoffs include the beach. Oh, but wait, turn-ons? Dynamite. We got a match. Let's love Supreme, folks!