The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 78, Moment Of Truth With Alex Schmidt

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

In their continuing quest to prove the 2000s were the worst decade, Seanbaby and Brockway once again point to a vile reality TV show -- this one about about lie detectors and ruining marriages. The perfect guest? Friendly neighborhood sweetheart Alex Schmidt!

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. The official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog dot com. We have a patreon. It's patreon.com slash one nine hundred hot dog. Like you imagine,

we're the last comedy websites to support us. Please don't make us pivot to screen caps of viral tweets. I'm enduring world web icon Sean baby. And I'm spinning back to back in the center of a gorilla horde with Robert Kongo Bobby Brockway. And you know I've got my gorilla laser as I always do. I don't even know why I mention it. I'm Robert Brockway.

His Robert Brockway fact. I once took powerful hallucinogens with my friends and we caught a wolf with a Reagan. Did I hallucinate the wolf? Did I hallucinate the Reagan? Did I hallucinate the friends? No follow up. Those would have been.

Oh God. Those would have all been my follow up questions. Our guest for the show today is brain genius fascination seeker and columnist for this very hot dog website. The host of the beloved podcast secretly incredibly fascinating Alex Schmidt. It is so good to be here. They're already two different forms of a laser for handling an animal

based on what Brockway has said. So we're starting hot. It's great. There was a gorilla laser. Just horse and ape as far as I know. Yeah. It's always a pleasure having you Alex. What are you working on these days?

I well and thank you for plugging the podcast and making secretly incredibly fascinating. It's been a lot of fun. And then you know I'm just going to plug it for you guys. Your patron is wonderful and it pays not just Brockway and Sean but also helps me get to write monthly columns for the site which is super fun and a total joy. And the current one is going to be about a pierce Brosnan film.

So that's that's just fun on its own. Right. Pierce Brosnan James Bond. We all love him. So you watched that and it's a it's crazy enough to. Yeah. To talk about. Okay.

Yeah. I remember the pitch you're like hey this movie looks pretty bad. I'm like God it also looks like it might be really boring. So I'm glad that it. If I can I'll just preview it for listeners. You get a sneak peek of one that's still in the work still in the shop. There's a movie called The King's Daughter and it was released in

2022 which is a year that is this year. But it was filmed in 2014 and they just didn't put it out for a long time because. For reasons. It's not great. Yeah. And several of the characters have racial slurs for names but it was a different time.

2014. Yeah. It's set in the reign of King Louis the 14th in the France but now I wish it was heavily dated from 2014. Like that several iPhones ago in the film. Back when France had Kings. Right. Yeah.

For that stupid EU ruined it. EU. Before. Brexit. Like it. Yeah. But yeah it's a movie where he's King Louis the 14th. He believes they need to capture a mermaid to give him immortality and

then also his daughter objects to this. Wait. This movie sounded boring to you. You know on paper the way Alex just described it sounds fucking awesome but like the trailer was just like dude where's the mermaid at Pierce Brosnan. I will give you the title is the most boring way to phrase that the King's Daughter like what like a princess a princess.

Ah that was taken. There's room for fish daughter in there the King's Fish Daughter. Oh there you go. On board. It also the movie fully has narration from Julie Andrews like the Julie Andrews. And so for the first like minute it feels like exactly what the trailer feels like which is a pretty boring like gauzy everything's

glittering Versailles movie and then it goes nuts from there and and is also kind of shot on movie that excuse me kind of shot on music video logic. So it's really hard to follow and really fun. So that makes me think maybe the Julie Andrews voiceover was added post after they made it and it turned out to be really confusing. Do you think that could be the cause of the voiceover or do you think it was always maybe they added it when it was back in 2014 when it was

boring and just about a normal princess before the guy was like I need I need to make this about fish people. Julie Andrews is like fucking what say what you can't use my narration now. Well one of my favorite movies directed by Disgrace Sex Pest Louis C. K. is called Poodie Tang and it was very clearly a work of genius and someone at the studio said dude this is fucking madness have JB smooth come in and like explain the movie as it

goes which again it didn't ruin the movie it still kind of works but you can see like the skeleton of what must have been a majestic piece of insanity before they you know comedy explained the whole thing. Yeah I feel like that's the laziest and easiest studio note for an executive like it's it's the legend about Blader on it right that they just forced them to add a voiceover to it like they can do that without spending any additional money except for one

Julie Andrews salary and yeah you know then the executive is already at lunch at like 11 you know easy. And I bet you save money if you don't make her sing. Yeah oh yeah she probably triples it if you if you want me to sing this narration it's going to cost you triple and they probably thought about it they're like. So she doesn't she doesn't sing about about this mermaid. No as I understand it's step man.

Yeah. If I was in a car heading to a studio to film a movie about mermaids with Julie Andrews doing the narration in the car ride I would write five songs for Julie Andrews to sing about that mermaid that's just me and how my brain works. Yeah no that's how the human brain works. Yeah we got some options Julie this is kind of a rock and beat. This one gets a little graphic.

There's some things you'll have to you'll have to say some things. It's called underwater penetration. I did assume they had a cloaca. I did not have time to fact check that. We might need to have a quick rewrite but we're not changing the song. But in all fairness it was the only thing that I could think

of that rhymed with I'll take you. Jumping. We don't want to talk about the subject. I want to take you. Right there we go. Now we got the song. You got it. Yeah.

Where's Julie Andrews. Somebody look up her agent. It can't cost that much for just a couple of lines. I bet we could get her to sing it for 12 grand. We make that in a month. We can do this. It's worth it. It's just the next Patriot goal as Julie Andrews singing

about a mermaid and making love. We'll save up. Let's talk about our just reprehensible bullshit thing. I think the rest needs to happen off the air because we got a lot of work to do before we show this to Julie Andrews. We can't just show up and be like hey we got some cloaca ideas. It rhymes with Jamaica and take ya.

Basically just that discovery and we got real excited. She's a pro. She'd be like okay I have some ideas. Yeah you know she'd sit up straight all of a sudden and be like oh shit. Yeah. Okay. God damn it he's right.

Let's never talk about this show. Well that would actually that's not a bad idea. You just have a fucking whole mess around. Yeah. I did actually find some interesting stuff in the episode I watched. So I do want to talk about the show a little bit. At least the basic concept because three other times on

the program we've done this where we sort of looked at reality shows that pushed absurdity and humiliation and stupidity just a touch too far. All in the 2000s of course. The 2000s was the decade of pure evil. Perfect decade for this. And where Brock Way almost found a murderer on that show. We did American Inventor.

I didn't find a murderer. I just didn't find the right one. That show. That's true. And like sincerely that was a messed up decade. If people don't remember or too young the first decade of the 2000s like as soon as I fired up this show I felt like George W. Bush was the president again.

And it was just a tidal wave of those emotions and everything that happened in that time. You can feel the like gleeful cruelty. Oh dear. Oh yeah we were like that. Everything was like our favorite in that time. I don't know how or why but it was really palpable. I 100% agree.

It feels like an era that's not just removed from time but like we chose to remove time. Like this isn't just nostalgia or old timey stuff. This is like we all decided as a people. Absolutely not. We're going to skip. Yes. The other one was WB Superstar USA.

These are the things we did shows about. This one's more of a game show we're talking about today. But I think it belongs among them as a step too far. Now to be clear I think it's OK for TV to be a little bit awful. I believe somewhere out there in the future is the perfect TV show where the state executes death row inmates using costume demand hunts.

But getting there will take tactful baby steps. I believe in a running man future. I just know that we have to get there gently. I know a lot of people won't agree with me. Alex I bet you're against running man. Knowing you and your vibe. That's OK. But we don't have to agree on everything.

I'm pro running man. But we need to vet them. We need to vet them better. There were too many surprises. In our one trial. We don't want to plot twists. Like I want a maniac who's like kill me. And you know he like blew up a school bus.

You're like OK there's no question we got it. We want him to like laugh and pray to Crom in the middle of it. Yes. That's just it's just my dream. And I just feel like the 2000s just went way too far way too fast. And we all agreed.

Nope. Nope. We can't do this. So like instead of baby steps I guess the moment of truth is what we're talking about. And instead of baby steps that's like a fully nude long jump into amorality. This is a villainous show.

And I don't know how else they could have done it. I mean from the premise stage it's a villainous show. Yes. Like the only thing it could do is ruin these people. Like there's no other point to it. Yes. It's all they set out to do. It's just to put a price on your family your marriage.

And real quick though do you think there's an ethical way to do this show. Like is there a good way to hook up contestants to a lie detector. Ask them questions and incentivize it incentivize them could and the audience to root for the virtue of these people. You could hook them up.

You could hook adults up to it. And then children could ask them questions and they would have to tell. No that's terrible. That would get dark real quick. Yeah. Like that. Like inquisitive.

That would be like that on society though. Like if a child said hey here's explain to me something dark and terrible and they're like wow how do I put this for a child without lying. Like that's interesting to me. Yeah. They say that's a better show and it's less evil and I invented it accidentally.

Yeah. Just accidentally. Like the kid said a Santa Claus is real is Santa Claus real. They would not want to say no. Yeah. You got to watch them try to hedge it but then watch the little meter go like no. No.

Yeah. That's actually a really interesting show. I can't believe you did it. I thought this was an impossible question. You're like yeah just fucking. I don't know. I wish I could give you an award for for your brilliant mind but I can't.

For thwarting you immediately. I bet there was more to that bit. No I had nothing else. I just I really thought that we would all just have a fun laugh agreeing that it's impossible because just by the way it works the people are incentivized to destroy their own lives to get the money and the people making the show are incentivized not just to sensationalize their lives but just to like to get

them out of the game to make the question so hard that they don't just win half a million dollars every episode. Yeah. Everyone's got to hurt and what what really set me over the line for this is that they always have somebody else there. They have like a little couch section on the stage for a loved one or family members or friends or spouse to sit there and look at them as they do this.

So it's they're very clearly saying like this person is destroying their life for money and all of these lives for money and they don't get anything. Yes. I do worry our listeners are confused. The couch contains a loved one. We're using the phrase a loved one very very very loosely here. Yes.

The nearby people whose lives they destroy constantly. Yes. There is a potential victim next to them the whole time. Yes. Let's explain how the show works just in case no one's heard of this. The show is called the moment of truth is what we're talking about and they have a contestant on and they ask them

increasingly personal questions often very sexual often very scandalous and they have asked them before the show 50 to 100 questions with a lie detector attached to them and they don't know the results of the lie detector test. So say they say hey have you ever murdered a man. They ask you that in the studio on a lie detector. Then you go on the show and they say hey have you murdered a man.

Now you tell the world yes or no and then they tell you what the lie detector said. If they don't match then you lose you go home. If they do then you keep going. It's what you would think if you think lie detector show. It's the very first dumbest idea that most people would have. And all of the reasons that just occurred to you why you probably shouldn't do that idea never occurred to anybody in

this. Yes. Absolutely. It ran for 23 episodes starting in 2008. They did not air a whole bunch of them. I don't think it was because they decided it was too reprehensible but because there's another show they came up with called hole in the wall.

No. People. Yeah I know. Advanced to advance glory holding. They slam a wall towards people at medium speed with like human human like shapes in them and then you have to like pose like those shape. It's very Japanese idea.

Yeah. It's based off of the Japanese show. Yeah. Absolutely. And this show a moment of truth was based off a Colombian show. And so whatever. Are we sure that was a show.

I mean just because just because something is filled doesn't make it a show. Right. It's based loosely on some police videos that they got sent from a big drug bust stuff I found on the Internet and I haven't been the same since. I before we talk about the show I do want to mention lie detectors.

They're controversial obviously because they don't always work. I guess is very on how often they don't work but it's somewhere around 10 to 25 percent. Just completely inaccurate. But of course who could know that. And I think I'd like to make the point that if something measures truth and it isn't 100 percent accurate it doesn't measure truth.

So they sort of seem better than just guessing. But that's not much of anything. It's like going to a psychic and having flipping a coin 10 times and then getting it right six times and you're like OK well you must be kind of a little bit psychic then please. You beat the average by one. You're one quarter psychic. So the point is if anyone says lie detectors are foolproof or

evidence in quotes they're probably a simple idiot. And so I'm saying on paper this is a show for simple idiots because it's the only people who would buy the basic premise and everyone with a brain has a problem with the show from the concept before you even get into the morality. So that's the show and the executive producer of the show they made some other great hits called dating naked which is exactly what it sounds like it's two people that get fully

nude and then meet each other. There's one called are you the one which is just real world but like with more of a fuck vibe twinning where they have identical twins compete. There's one he did called 72 hours where they just dump people in the woods and they have 72 hours to find a bag of money. He also did extreme makeover which you probably heard of where they tore apart ugly and fat people and rebuilt them as

less than those things. So congratulations to this executive producer for a lot of questionable choices. Yeah a whole lot of evil brought into the world good job. Yeah is the executive producer this a person or is it just like a sack of money with a dollar sign on it. Just a spiky black or hovering in the air that you can't look at directly or it knows your thoughts.

Yeah I followed the trail of Howard Schultz. He's the EP and writer of the show. He was the EP for every single episode. There's a lot of producers and a lot of vaguely titled producers and directors a show like this I feel like is sort of made by a studio as like a bad decision like someone maybe came to them with an idea hey let's do a show about lie detectors and then like seven different executives there are producers

were like what about this what about this and we should get this guy that does the Miss America pageant to director whatever. Other smaller bags of money that are also talking. Yes yeah so this guy it sort of reeks of that era of TV where every producer just knows they're about to be fired so they're just trying to like hang on to their job with and they were correct it turns out.

Yes these must have seemed like safe ideas like not too expensive to produce possibly a hit interesting enough that like you might get some people talking about it like all the ideas I said are shocking in their own way like it's just we in the 2000s we lived in a world where that was the only thing on TV so if it's like here's a dating show and they're naked you're like OK but like here's a dating show where like one of them has knives for hands or whatever the fuck

you know is a dating show and they're naked and they fight they have to fight OK OK it needs two more hooks I think could they be twins it's the middle of the wilderness and no help has got the only help comes for one of them there there's a helicopter with one harness. I love it. Most dangerous game meets dating naked. Most dangerous date we've got it.

Again what a brilliant mind you have. Is that one thing that jumps out to me about the like crave and evil of this show premise is that they gave it a pretty neutral title like I really thought they'd work a lie detector into the show title or something like the moment of truth does not sound as interesting as the premise on paper it's a really flat title and you would think these people would call it the equivalent of dating naked

but for this idea. I do believe like there is a ticking clock element to this show that is like no bullshit sort of compelling like as the questions escalate in their god scandalous nature like there is a real tension like if they could have incorporated that on the title like you know ticking clock or lit fuse or something along those lines I think would convey what's actually interesting about the show truth and watch it.

How about it. Oh see that's good again. Miss my call would have been the fucking best 2000s era bag of money. The most amoral producer in 2000s. I think the other thing that this plays into that I think frustrates me about like the country I live in is it plays into that American hypocrisy where we're all like total

perverts or party animal pussyhounds when we're living our own lives but just like Quaker wokescolds when it comes to other people's sexing you know what I mean like yeah I guess that's what it is so like here's these people who before the show would have bragged about like their sexual conquest and they get on the show and they're like hey you ever do weird sex stuff and they're like oh god my mom's here you know what I mean like they try to make it all weird but like you know so

much of what they do on the show isn't a scandal. The audience too reflects that the audience is like there to boo every like immoral choice and admission they're there. They've been waiting their whole life to judge these fucking people would dare. Dare to make love to other humans. Like scabby villagers. Yeah I feel like the audiences for most of these things are

just tourists who had nothing else to do or something and were in LA and they just managed to find at least for the episode I watched because I think we watched one like the episode I watched had the dumbest and meanest crowd I think I've ever heard on a game show like even they were bragging about all the sex stuff but then their biggest response was to a guy getting asked if he was in the hair club for men and they lost their minds when that question got asked like

they couldn't believe a guy would be secretly maybe losing his hair a little bit and that's just dumb and weird to be weird about. Yeah. That's such a nothing it that better have been like real early in the in the list of questions. Yeah. They did the the second question they gave a guy on one of my

episodes was have you ever had a sexual fantasy while attending mass like Catholic mass which is like how. That must have been in his life. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the first thing I do just to get it out of the way. And then they followed it with are you in the hair club for men and I felt that was sort of flipped around.

I don't know. It felt wrong to me. I agree. The way they frame the questions are like you know hey are you attracted to your wife's sister and I feel like that's not a fair question like the only right answer is no but the only possible answer is yes because I mean she probably was like your beautiful wife right and like it kind of hurt

her feelings if she found out like oh he doesn't he's not attracted to me like I don't know. I can't speak for everyone but like human balls are programmed to say get her under most lady circumstances. So part of being an adult man is keeping that in check. So like if you said yeah I want to fuck her sister but I like I wouldn't because like I'm a good guy like like you did it.

But like there's no compared to I don't I don't know. I just feel like this is not how the world works and they're trying to like find this absolute truth using the dumbest possible methods. Now are they all like themed to sort of explore a type of terrible person. That's kind of the sense that I got just from the episode that I watched like what was what was your guide.

Was there like a theme or was it just all over the place. Let's go through your episode as you watch the premiere right. I did the premiere of the show very first guy from you bring it up running man. I feel like the first guy they did was supposed to be like an all-american Schwarzenegger in that movie kind of thing. Like it was a former all they thought he was going to run briefly in the NFL and he just was like and they just had

like his wife there and then his wife's friend and his friend and I think they had further questions to get to where they were going to try to like make it so he was trying to bang his friend's wife or I mean his wife's friend. But they didn't get there because he lost and then they brought in a second guy who was like a very high energy guy and they just gave him crazy questions right off the bat. And it was a guy who's been divorced a few times and the

the second guy in my episode pretty early on they just unearthed that this guy has a crippling gambling problem that blew up his first marriage. It's why I'm on this show. Kinda, yeah. So like his family, his new girlfriend after his marriage had fallen apart and they just are like it's as not fun as it sounds like they ask the guy like oh do you still think

about gambling kind of questions and he's like yes I grapple with it like all the time. Yeah it's hard having a gambling problem. That's not a fun show. Do you want to take what you've earned so far? Or do you want to gamble on the next question? Gambling problem guy. We did not mention that is how the show works.

It's like who wants to be a millionaire like banking system. So you have to like gamble each thing. So they did bring on a gambling addict and then made him gamble in front of these people. Incredible. Yeah big time. And they even one of the questions was like oh do you have a secret bank account for your ongoing gambling and he said

no and he told the truth and then he was like yeah I only let my girlfriend handle my money because otherwise I'll just go gamble all of it at a way really fast. It'd be really bad. Like it's just sad. It's just a really sad thing. That is a sad reality. It's almost like we didn't think of this through on the first

episode. Yeah. That gives me a window. That gives me a window into the process of making this show. They obviously either did a background interview with this guy or research and they knew this about him. They wouldn't ask that to someone unless they you know knew that they either did or didn't have a secret account.

So they set that up almost certainly to humiliate him by saying aha your woman has to take care of the money for you because you can't be trusted to do adult stuff. Yes. Because there's no reason for him to lie about that especially if he looks virtuous by telling the truth. So then the end game of that was not to for fun game show stuff but to humiliate him in the moments between questions.

Yeah. That's exactly it. That's the vibe I got from all of these is that it's it's more like we'll pay you money to humiliate you and ruin your relationships with the people around you less than like this will be a challenge. Truly because like because the format it also in a way that makes the show boring is super ripped off of who wants to be

a millionaire where other than the friends on a couch it's two people in chairs the exact same soundtrack the exact same lighting and just an escalating tears of questions. And but they just get on with the next question and on this show the host does little in between interviewing of like do you think you're an honest guy or like do you think your wife's attractive and then the consistent like yeah my wife's attractive.

And then the next question is something like you've always thought your wife isn't attractive don't you. Like it's a really just villainous weird show. I've seen that coming. Yeah. I'm telling you if you're hooked up to a lie detector and they say hey is your wife hot you say yes but then like I feel like I could be nervous enough about just the whole process

that my body might you know explode. It's when whatever makes a lie detector go off just because I'm like God oh my God can I could you imagine how upset everyone would be if if I if I lied about this so like who knows if that kind of like biometrics triggers something which is exactly I mean I'm pretty sure that's the problem with lie detectors is that it's either you very nervous and everything is fucked or you're a total sociopath who it was

the person you want to catch the most and nothing nothing bothers you so it's not it's not any of it. Yes. So if someone says is someone attractive you say yes and look I don't care what the machine says you're handsome like crazy Alex just a whatever whatever that lie detector says that's the story that I'm sticking to. It says true.

$10,000 for me. Yeah but even with this like and thank you but like with this lie detector kind of stuff like it feels very Jerry Springer and Mori Povic or something but instead of the drama in that show where they're all like jumping up and down and being restrained like this is just people sitting in chairs and like it like it's the running man but way less exciting. It's also Jerry Springer and Mori Povic but way less

exciting. It's really super fun to talk about this on a podcast but like as a viewing experience I can see why America was like this is kind of flat. I think they were I think the more we talk about it the more I think they were supposed to run. I think there's like an option that nobody took or like you can just take the money and run into our obstacle course and

face our champions and like we were almost there. We were going to get there. Like there's a sled behind him or that chair now that chair drops away into a sled and they just get rocketed into the course. Here's a question for you. Do you think you can outrun Buzz saw? Buzz saw like none of this is verifiable but the show often

seemed fake in the same way a lot of reality shows seem fake and not just because I think the producers were fucking around but because I think it's easy to game this and there was a story I found where a couple was accused of making all their scandals up to win the money and so the host had a... I think that might be the episode I'm covering. Okay.

Well I'll tell you about this interview where he said the contestant was upset he didn't win the money. He's like hey man wife admitted to cheating on you and being in love with her ex and he's like yeah dude sucks. It sucks the lie detector. Like he basically said... Yeah that is. That's my guy.

That's Frank. That's Frank the cop. Fantastic. I know that dickhead anyway. Just by his words. It does figure that out of 46 couples at least one of them saw this concept and said let's go make up a sex scandal for money who gives a shit or let's go tell them about our real

sex scandal for money. The point is the game and the money don't incentivize good behavior. They incentivize getting on a TV and humiliating your wife or husband. Yeah it was definitely the it was definitely the latter. So the episode I watched was they had to preface it with Mark Wahlberg the host.

No relation which is weird because this does feel like a 2000s era Mark Wahlberg joint. He would have been so good as the host. Yeah he would have been perfect. Wait wait wait. Mark Wahlberg. You think you want a fucking wife sister? Hey listen listen.

Different. I don't do it with Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. A different... Oh the host is a guy who is also named Mark Wahlberg. Yes. And I think he's got a little Wahlberg in him. He could...

The tough thing about that is he can't go by Marky Wahlberg because that's just a double Mark Wahlberg. That's like you're just stuck with it. He added like an alleys like Mark L Wahlberg or whatever. Mark L Wahlberg. Markington. Mark Wahlberg but not that one. He should add a hyphen but not the one you're thinking of.

I think I'm realizing with my episode I don't know about your guys but with mine where it's the first one the host I think never says his name because I super would have noticed if he said hi I'm Mark Wahlberg. Yeah you need to like he wasn't sure if it was getting picked up in that pilot so he wasn't gonna say it. Like I'm not exposing myself or not. If we get picked up to series you can have Mark Wahlberg

but until then the Wahlberg name stays unimpeachable. His real name is John Cena so that's tough. John Cena. But that's like every show with a host the host says their name like right away you can't work around it and then this show they just trended paper over that. Are you ashamed to be here? True.

Yes. So the episode I was on there's a lady, her name was Lauren Cleary I think and she is like a hair salon assistant manager in 2008 and looks exactly like your picturing in 2008 and her husband was Frank and he was a cop and he looks nothing like your picturing. He looks like Ryan from The Office but like when he became a full douche bag and he's just got that vibe like that

very strong guy that got a little bit of power and it went to his head vibe and her whole family is there. They brought her mom or dad. They brought the husband Frank. They brought her sister. She's got like a crowded house and they open that show and he says Mark Wahlberg's exact words. He very humbly steps onto the set with nobody around

the lights lower and he says this episode was so controversial it sparked a long debate as to whether or not to air it at all. Quite honestly, if I had my vote, it would not air. It is the most uncomfortable I've ever been on television. So like they open it with the host being like I hate this and I have no say in the way the show was run. If I had my vote, which I don't, clearly. But yeah, they go.

I don't have a lot of thoughts. Double their type of thing. What if we did races and they were sloppy? I thought we were going to slime them after every lie. Right? I mean, when they say I don't know, you know, you guys just don't want to have fun anymore. What about identical twins, but they're naked, dating,

fighting a gorilla. I don't know, guys. The only one gets away. The other has to go live with the gorilla. What do you think? Twins in the mist. Oh, there you go. See?

Now you're on my wavelength. So this episode, they do the, the warning of we almost didn't air this. It was so messed up. And then they just air it. And then they just air it. They air all of it. And with like such savage glee, you're like, no,

it was, it was never an issue. And like they start with our, even her softball questions are kind of terrible. Like question three she gets is would you give food to a stray dog before you'd give it to a homeless person? That's three. That's question three. That's after like.

Yeah, man. Have you said you liked someone's hair when they didn't? And then which do you value more dogs or people? And she of course says the dog and the audience. Did she get booed? She got booed, even though, you know, I want to talk about that for real, real quick. Sorry to interrupt, but like the booing is funny because

like the audience is very judgmental, whether they're coached to be that way or not. Oh, I'm sure. And then after, after the, it's revealed whether they're right or wrong, they will clap for the right answer. So it's like, yeah, yeah, I killed the guy and the audience like boo. And they're like, that answer is true.

Like, all right. And then the audience like gives him like a little lukewarm applause for the murder. We're grudging. I love it. We got to keep, we got to give that to you because you owned it. Wow.

And also, and folks, if you haven't seen it, Sean did that robot voice of saying the answer was true. He did it faster than the show. Does it? Like throughout this show, there's a thing where the person gives their answer to a question. It is often the more embarrassing answer. And then there's a long delay while we wait for the computer

to confirm it. When obviously, if it's the more embarrassing answer, they're telling the truth. Like, yeah, there's no suspense at all for like 10 seconds often. It's ridiculous. I liked, I liked this lady. I was, I was with her from question three because she

really wanted to be the villain because she needlessly clarifies after that. They didn't ask her any follow up questions, which is, you know, of course, in line with my policy, but she just jumps out and goes, oh, of course, it's the dog. They just look at you with your cute little face. And then you've got some, some bum over here with his nasty dirty face.

And it's like, hmm. Whoa. Okay, lady. And her dad laughed so hard at that. He laughed so hard. They hide the homeless together. There was an awful one of those on my episode with the first guy because the first guy, he's this former football player

briefly in the NFL. And they said they also, they had a special guest question asker. I don't know if either of you had that where there's a former actual football player named Rodney Pete comes out and Rodney Pete asks to ask him, Hey, like when you've been in the shower with other players, have you looked at their privates when you've been in the shower?

Okay. And it's, you know, it's there. It's this decade. So of course the guy admits that he has done this and the audience acts like he admitted he's a serial killer or something. How dare you, sir. And then there's a super boring delay while we wait for the

computer to confirm that's waiting. And then like the host is like, Hey, man, do you want to elaborate on that? Like, like the laziest version of Hey, what, what do you think? This guy Smith, isn't it? Emmett Smith's dick is huge, isn't it? Just really proudly talking about one celebrity player.

But, uh, but then like this guy, given the opportunity to elaborate, he, he doesn't go for any of the, the many ways that could have been better. And he says something along the lines of like, well, we got to see who to make fun of later. Whoa. There we go. His justification is like, I got a, when I was a player, I'm

elaborating it, but his justification is when he was a player, he like targeted his teammates for abuse for having a smaller penis than the other guys. And it turns out it was me. Volunteered beyond the requirements of the show. It's because that's, that would be better. That would be the better alternative in this again, in this time for this audience in the show.

Yeah. I love that. All the rest of the questions were about penises. He's like, all right, next question. How big do you think mine is? Well, you know, also I, and I felt a little bad for actual football player Rodney Pete. Cause when he left, I, I did have the thought like, I'm more

interested in Rodney Pete's answer. He's been with like famous people and I don't know. They're just curious. I'd love if Rodney Pete come out and said, what's my name? And that would like be like the light up. Do you know who I am? And the guy's like, yes, that answer is. False.

And then he has to look really sad and you've ruined two people's days. I don't actually know who Rodney Pete is. Well, of course I don't. I don't know sports at all. Oh yeah. He sounds like a man insecure about his penis. Or a great runner.

Or incredibly secure about his penis. Or you came out naked from the waist down to ask that question. Yeah. And it was some kind of, I think this was on facts. They introduced him as a co host of the best damn sports show period, which is very of this era. If people remember that.

Yeah. So it was like network. I think one of the writers worked on that show that wrote questions for this show. Oh, there you go. Yeah. You had a network hookup. You burned that networking connection for this because

you did burn it. Rodney, you know anything about dicks? Yeah, sure. Okay. I'm working on this other show on lot four. We want you to come on, just do it quick. We were just talking about dicks. There's no script.

You just come on with, you know, ask questions you might have about dicks. Just your standard dick drop. You know the deal. Sure. I'll be right there. It really did feel that throw together too because like there's not a spot on that set for an additional person to

enter and exit. So he just sort of shambles in from the wing where it's not totally lit and then just walks back out. That's how they did it because it wasn't, I don't think it was on every episode, but it was on the episode I'm talking about two where she, the whole thing is that it's about her infidelity, about how she doesn't think, they ask her if she thinks she married the right man.

And of course she says no. And then they ask her if she was in love with her boyfriend. Of course, you know, all of her family and everybody's sitting right there. And I ask if, you know, she was in love with her ex-boyfriend at the time. She says yes. And then the special guest they have is the ex-boyfriend that

comes out and is like, do you think you should be married to me instead? And fuck. The other mechanic that has not come up so far is that the family has a button that they can press that skips that question and the sister reaches out and presses it to skip the question. And then they skip to the replacement question, which was

basically just the exact same question asked by the guy again. Do you think you should be with me instead? If we went backstage right now, couldn't we fuck? And every time, I don't know if it was like this with yours, if you have multiple people, but my God, there was the least content in this show. And I don't mean like, like they didn't have as much, I mean

literal show, like they would end every episode with a big teaser like, this will destroy her marriage and then cut to commercial break like a fucking like a monster truck show. And then every time they'd get back, it would be a summary of every question that's been so far. She said this, she said this, she said this, we're going to ask it. And then they'd ask it.

And the one, they go through one question, one until the next commercial break. And then they once again go, remember, it's going to destroy her marriage. And the, you were basically right with what was going on, the interviews and stuff that they did with the couple afterwards. It just revealed that they knew it wasn't that they made all

of this up. It's that they knew about this. This was like an open problem that they had had and talked through and stuff. And so then they were like, well, let's go on the show because now we all know it and it's no problem. But the thing that got her, that made her lose was they finally asked her, do you think you're a good person?

And it was exactly in that tone. It's like really smug tone. And she said after a lot of difficulty, yes. And that was false. So she loses everything. She did all of it for nothing. And Mark says it came up as a lie and goes, you must not think you're a good person.

And she's like, well, it's because I've improved. So I think I'm a better person now. And Mark just shakes his head a little bit and says, no, it came up as a lie. And that must mean some part of you knows you're not a good person. And then we wait until she nods. And that's amazing.

Yep. Whoa. So we wait for her to nod. Absolute truth on a question like that. That woman had a very reasonable explanation for how like, not yes, not no. And the lie detector, you know, how in the world would you expect a machine to understand

like, right? That's not what lie detectors do. It's not really a yes or no question that shifts from minute to minute. It's fucking insane. And that toast just stands by like, no, I'm on the side of the lie detector. You know, you're a bad person.

She had to give this little like equivocation and he was like, uh-huh, uh-huh. But no, it was a lie. So you know, you suck, right? And then then we had to wait for her to go. Yeah. And then, okay, now you lose. Now you can leave.

Yeah. I mean, you catch anybody on the right minute of the right day, they'll, they could say either answer and they could react. Yeah. It's, it's nothing. It's, it's absolutely. But that is how they took her money away from her.

That's how they got away with paying her $0 to do this entire thing. So incredible. But yeah, that, that couple was accused by public opinion of kind of being full of shit of sort of, of trying to game the. And they were a little bit in that they, they pretended, you know, when they were up there that we didn't know about these issues.

Sure. But I mean, that's more truth than I would honestly expect from this show. Like I would expect for it all to be gamed and for them to come out and admit like, oh, we did game it. But then it was, you know, there are parts of it that were legitimate. And that is surprising to me.

But again, like we've, we've talked about this, like whether or not it's gamed, this is the story you're trying to tell. Like this is what you want to say to the world. You were given this time slot with this like rare honor and you're like, I just want to talk about how people are shitty and pretend to ruin lives. Yeah. And this is going to sound a little conniving, but if you were

a TV producer and you wanted to just save half a million dollars, you could just tell the people in the sound booth, hey, whatever she says here on the, are you a good person question? Just fucking play the one that she's wrong. You can imagine that going if she said, no, I'm going to be like, well, you must actually think you are. You must actually think all of this is okay.

Yeah. That's a better ending and the same amount of money. I'm just saying that there is no proof. She can't be like, dude, show me that lie detector test or I'm going to go get my own lie detector test and I'm going to tell him that I'm a good person. And if it comes back this, then I get the money. Like you just can't, there's no verifiable procedure.

I don't think they had very much money to give these people. So I think there were a lot of questions that they asked that that's just my feeling. I haven't watched the episodes, but judging on the morality I've seen from this one episode, yeah, they put those, those waffly questions in there and they just don't pay anybody. Yeah. Yeah.

I think the first contestant on mine lost because as you guys said, the contestant immediately loses all of their money. If they try the next question and fail, like when he lost, the host was very brisk and kind of joyful about telling him the fact that he would not receive any money for going through this experience. You really got a sense of who was making this real fast. They can afford paying Rodney Pete now.

Great Rodney Pete. So did anything else interesting happen on yours, Brockway? Oh, only really one thing aside from what you can just infer from the rest of those questions. Like I said, it was kind of a theme thing. They were all leading up to like what a shitty wife this lady is. Right. So it was clear they had an agenda, but the one really, really

strange moment was they asked if she's keeping any secrets about her mother for her father while they were sitting both there. And she said yes, and it was true. And the dad jumped up and ran on stage and gave her a big hug and then flexed for the audience while they cheered. And I was just like, what the fuck is that moment? What does that mean?

Yeah. What a mystery. What is the implication? What is the secret? Why are we on the dad's side for it? And then after he sat back down, like again, like flexing, like, yeah, I got my daughter to keep secrets from my wife for me. And even the host like looked at him and went, what did that mean

just now? And he was like, well, we'll talk about it. And so we never knew. They asked the mom how she felt about it. And obviously the answer was pretty bad. Yeah. I'd rather he didn't celebrate the secret he's taking from me. I don't like whatever this is, but I have no context for it.

I watched one, a clip of one with a guy came out and he was just the biggest cocky dipshit because again, this was 2008 when people thought you could have a career by just going on TV and being awful. And they were right. Yeah. A lot of them were right. And airingly right.

And so he was like, like full douchebag and he like wore his suit and he's like, I'm the coolest. And the question they gave him was. Are you the coolest? I think they might have given him some of those. But the one that I liked was, do you think your birth defect is a result of your mother not taking care of you? And like, he looked so hurt and cranky and destroyed.

And it's like, how is that fucking winning your sales now, pal? It's just like aggressively targeting the worst parts of the viewer's souls. Like it was grotesque. I don't even know what his birth defect was. But I'm how did you find out about that? Yeah. Seriously.

Maybe he has a tail because his mom didn't ever stop smoking cigarettes. I don't know. But but that's fucking awful. That raises all kinds of questions in me about their research process because my experience of my episode had seemed like they are very bad at doing like, like they're making an evil show and they're bad at doing research to dig for stuff in my experience.

Like they basically could only think of torpedoing a marriage as like the type of question to ask that would be lurid. Like they must have done some extra digging to find that birth defect thing. Like probably breaking in a drink. I'm assuming like some kind of horrible hacking a hospital or something. I bet it's more voluntary.

I bet they probably have them fill out questionnaires with blanks for that. Like, is there anything like weird about you? Is there any medical history that's like embarrassing? Like, did you join the hair clip for men? You fucking monster. How many murders and why? Right.

Yeah. I have a feeling that a lot of these people would have volunteered. Yeah. Like this is again, everybody bought into it. So they would have been very eager to get on what this is one season. So they couldn't have even explained like, oh, it's a famous show.

They were just like a show. Any show like could be a show in somebody's basement. You don't know. But they're like, yeah, here's all my secrets. I watched. I did a lot of meandering research looking for the unerred episodes because a lot of this, this show didn't get broadcast. Again, I'm not sure if it's because they're like, hey, we went too far

or if it's just like this fucking hole in the wall show is fascinating. And right. So I was not green lit by the Hague. So they didn't get to do it. Right. I watched episode nine first. And the first guy they had on was a 23 year old guy named Paul. And he was sort of a combat sports guy.

They said he was like a fight promoter and a Mexican wrestler. And so they start off with some real softballs. Have you ever ignored a friend that you know, needed your help? And he's like, yes. And they're like, that answer is dot, dot, dot, dot, true. And then the crowd claps for him betraying his friend. Good job. They asked him if he has a mullet.

Good job machine. Yeah. Congratulations, Paul. They asked him if he has a mullet because he thinks it attracts women. And he's like, hell yeah, the mullet attracts women. And that was also true. Objectively, it is true. Then they start to drop hints at where they're trying to go with it.

And they say, have you ever told your parents you quit gambling when in fact you haven't? And he's like, yep. And his parents are like, ooh, that's really disappointing. And the crowd claps because he won money. And again, it'd be weird if he said no, right? Like, no, I've never lied to my parents. They're like, oh, cool. We found the one good guy.

Congratulations, producers. Do they know about your murders? Yeah. Yeah, they do. Do we clap? Yep. Maybe we clap a little bit for that. Yeah, let's give a little clap for that.

So they ask him if he's ever lost more than $10,000 gambling in one day. And somebody booze, which I thought was really funny. And then he says yes. And then they, everyone starts applauding. And so they have these embarrassing transgressions that get applause. And then the host, Mark Wahlberg, he would just like, ask everyone sitting on the couch how they feel about being betrayed. He's like, hey, yeah, he lied to you your whole life.

Do you like it? No. Yeah. And you mentioned this earlier, but like that's the show. Like the questions are so fast and take up 4% of the fucking program. And the rest of it is just like this untalented improvisational guy, just sort of doing amateur therapy with these people who are just being betrayed in real time.

And yeah. Anyway, he asks the guy if he's ever kept underwear as a trophy. And he's like, yeah, in fact, I have a whole trophy case. And his girlfriend is there. And his family is there. And he's so fucking proud of all like the boning he's done. And the show wants him to be like, shame on you, but he's like not. And he's got his friend there who's like, hell, yeah, buddy.

Hell yeah. Keep them panties. And anyway, his girlfriend is really upset. I wrote down all these questions because she hasn't seen the trophy case yet. Because I haven't invited her over to see my living room. Yeah. If it's just a bunch of panties, he probably could hide that in a box somewhere. No, trophy case.

To me that says glass. It says some backlighting like the tasteful felt. That's true. Yeah. That's definitely the centerpiece of a room. Yeah. I led a very adventurous sexual life before I got married in. You walk in and there are three pairs of panties.

I have some. I don't have many more. But like, I always thought that was like a nice memory. It's not like I kept them in secret. It's like the woman would be like, hey, here's a little naughty thing. They'll remember our, you know, escapade. And I'm like, that's nice. And, you know, you don't, when someone else finds it, you're like, okay,

okay, I can explain. I had sex before I met you. Right. But like, I feel like if you're girlfriends that you shouldn't brag about the trophy case you have. And again, like they're trying to find this context where the thing he's doing is shameful and they found it. But.

Wait, I'm confused. Are you saying you also keep panties? I did. But like, you know, it's just an appropriate thing for a married man to have. And Schmidt is like, yeah, yeah, of course. So I'm the weird one. I'm the, all right. I'm finding something out about myself today.

I mean, some people take photos and write love letters. I gotta go. No, I haven't done that. Ask some questions to some Xs and see if I can get something shipped. You don't write love letters. I just need an old pair on the pants. I'm going to go talk to my wife, honey. You'll never believe this, but.

I got the go ahead from Alex Schmidt to ask all my Xs for their underpants. I'm basically going to have to do this now. No, so I haven't done that. But I feel like throughout this episode, Sean has like often described the totally reasonable thing that a person could just say on this show. And like, yes, that's one of the ways this whole show format falls apart. It's just like, if someone is a little bit comfortable with themselves and is pretty open with their loved ones about who they are, then the show sales.

It sounds like this guy, it's like they found that guy. He is a pretty open pussyhound. And I do have some more questions that will lead us into. Before you even get to him, I'm going to go ahead and say this guy kicks ass. And I'm going to trust it. Nothing is going to turn around on me. Yes. So the next question is, have you ever had sexual relations?

You would be embarrassed with a woman you've been embarrassed to introduce to your mother, which I feel like is an easy question as if like everyone's hooked up with a woman who's like, you know, you're great. I'm going to bring you home to meet my family. Like that's stupid. Even the mom was like, there's no way I've met all the women my son is hooked up with. My son's a wonderful dirtbag. Look at his mullet and transcend.

Of course. God, he better not bring me home. Maybe the writers suck because some of these questions are just like, no good will come of them. And I mean, like no good TV or like, you know, victory. No, no personal victory is nothing. It's just not interesting. He says the question is, are there things in your sexual history you keep secret from your girlfriend?

And he's like, yeah, it's man's law. Man law. And then he's like hung up on this man law thing and just keeps saying it. And it's like, yeah, man law. Yeah, you keep secrets from your girlfriend. So we're starting to lose my love of this guy. They ask him. I'm still on board.

Okay, good. They ask him if he he would like to have children with Maria someday cut to commercial. That's like the cliffhanger. And the answer will do it. He says, no, he's just like, no, I can't see myself having kids with this woman. She almost cries like this is fucking devastating. They're very young. So it's like reasonable to say like, Hey, I haven't thought about that yet.

But like the certainty of remember these people think lie detectors are real. The certainty of saying, no, I will never have children with this woman is devastating to her. And the host asked her, does that hurt your feelings? All of his follow ups are like, did you like that? And then he doesn't have anything else except for how'd that feel? And then they got to go like, oh, bad. Not good. It cuts the guy's reaction to it.

The appalls reaction to it is, well, she'll find someone to have kids with her someday. Like he's already like past this. He already knows this relationship is fucked. He maybe didn't care going into this. You were out of your trophy case and we both know it baby. He, the next question is, do you keep a spreadsheet of all the women you've had sexual relations with? Now this is something you wouldn't ask a normal person unless you know they have a spreadsheet. So yeah, this is a very easy question for him to answer because he already knows he has a spreadsheet.

The producers already know he has a spreadsheet and it's in the trophy case. There's a touch of narcissism to it, but also it feels responsible. Like I grew up during an AIDS pandemic. The first 50 things I learned about sex was you might have to call a bunch of people and say, I have killed you. You know what I mean? So you need to keep track of all these people and their contact. So when I heard this, I'm like, again, what an ordinary thing to try to make into an embarrassing thing. Here's the thing though.

There is a rating. Did you, okay, hold on. Did you realize when you put together this show that you would be making yourself play this show accidentally? Because that's what's happening. I am playing moment of truth. I am playing moment of truth. I do feel a little more comfortable in my skin than poor Paul here. He's starting to realize he has not led an ideal life.

And do you think the Mohawk pulls women? I absolutely know it does. I watched that man law. Hell yeah, man law. No, there's that show that came out about the pickup artist and those guys spent so much time like trying to give you like little gimmicks you could do to make yourself stand out in like a nightclub. And I was like, oh shit, I just, I think I do all this just already. That's just who I am. Yeah.

I thought it was the bare minimum effort as a person. It just feel like a little more interesting the default and like, yeah, be fun. Yeah, sure. But anyway, apparently I was peacocking is what it's called. So this dude has ratings on his spreadsheet and he like shows it to his friends. So his buddy Federico has seen it and his girlfriend is fucking livid. She's like, I do not want to be on TV while my boyfriend brags about his sexual conquests. Oh, he ever thought he was a disappointment to his father.

And last seems like another easy thing to say like, yeah, I've probably disappointed my dad. It's true. The crowd claps for this and they asked the hair salon manager assistant manager the same thing that you think your parents are proud of you and she went no in the crowd. It's like, yes. Good job. And this is what I wanted to talk about is how quickly this shows tone can change how it's like, look at this fucking dirt bag banging chicks. Sorry. Yeah, what if we stopped and like had the dad tell him how proud he was of him and like that's it's just back and forth like that the whole time.

They now ask him if he could ever be faithful to just one woman and everybody knows what the answer is cut to commercial. And he comes back and he's like, dude, I thought this would be the $500,000 question and he's like, no. So he just admits like I'm going to cheat on every woman until the day I die. His mom and girlfriend are like holding their heads in shame. The host is like, is this a surprise to Maria? Does that make you wonder how faithfully he's been to you so far in this relationship? So he's escalating drama. She accuses him of not respecting women like just like you might a man you just met masturbating on the subway like so detached from

a loving relationship. She's now scolding him like he's a sex pest. And there's like some mild applause until like, yeah. The mom lectures him on maturity. It is fucked. The show has just ground to a halt. And now the guy realizes I've made some mistakes in my life. Then they ask him if he had sexual relations with over 100 women.

And the answer is yes, he's 23 years old. So these are some massive numbers. I'm going to go ahead and double down on saying, I like this guy. Yeah, that's a great champion level fucking. It is. It is also a big fucking trophy case. That's a trophy room. Yeah.

That's a that's a wing. I do. I find it a little fun that they established that he has an Excel spreadsheet and then they asked him a numbers based question because I'm getting the spreadsheet out at like an accountant visor and double. Oh, yeah, I have it. It's right here. It's 107. Yeah.

His mom says, hey, okay. His mom says it's that's local, which means I'm very proud of you. His girlfriend is get them crying. She was again, it's clear at this moment that she's just the wrong place at the wrong time. Like during this guy's sexual rampage, like this, she's just dating him for a week. And he's like, hey, I'm going on this talk to this game show. You want to come? She's like, oh, okay.

It's our fourth date, but sure. So the host Mark Wahlberg asked her, does that change how you feel about him? And she's like, yes. Yes, I did not want to be the 101st woman man had sex with. They set the next question up. They're like, okay, dude, this next question is going to be fucking crazy. And they're like, do you want to just bail? It's, you're not going to like it.

It's going to destroy your life. They really lay level with him. Like you're not going to like it. They finally ask him, have you ever been paid for sex? Which again, feels like in 2008 was sort of a scandal, but now I feel like sex work is more of an accepted thing. I don't think he was. I don't think he thinks that's a scandal at all. Absolutely not.

He's probably very proud. Does he say hell? Yeah. Yeah. He says yes. Pretty proudly. Maria. Does he hold his hand up for a high five from the host afterwards?

Yeah. Does he switch the spreadsheet over to the financial tab? Does that way? It's more of a ledger, I guess, than a than just a list. Adam all up. I made $87. Is he? I hope the next question is, are you good at pivot tables?

It's like, I am. Everybody is like, oh, that's pretty complicated. Yeah. Wow. The family is disappointed. His girlfriend has absolutely made the decision to leave him. Like she's like, before she was mad, this is just like, I don't know this person. This is grotesque.

So he, she's just made the decision to get out of his life and the host is basically like knows. And the guy knows. So the guy knows that something has changed in his life for the worse. And he just bails. He's like, okay, I'm out of here. Even though at this point, he was confidently answering all these questions very honestly. But again, these people know what else is waiting for them.

Like he just answered that. He made a comment earlier. Oh, I thought this would be the $500,000 question, meaning he, he knows the five or six that are going to be devastating. And he thought in his mind, the worst one had already been asked because he thought that was going to be the end. So that was like the thing he was worried about. Yeah.

But he got through it and then he still like quit. He's still like $100,000. That's, that's plenty. He also had a gambling problem. So this was weird that he got out while he was ahead. Yeah. So there's a lot after that gambling problem. Good for him.

But that was the show I watched that really like gives you a sense of the directions the, the show takes you. The, the one that is probably the most fascinating from all of them was one of the unerred ones, but a lot of people have seen it because it went on YouTube. It got like millions of hits on YouTube. And it was one where a woman went on named Melanie Williams and she was part of a fundamentalist woman cult. And her dad had a child bride.

His second wife was 17 years old. And so they, she went on the show knowingful while they'd ask about that. Of course, whatever questionnaire they gave her, they filled it out. And so she's like crying before they asked the question. And they finally ask, do you believe your father as an adult has ever had sexual relations with a minor? And the dad's like, oh, geez, like he's got like a sad look on his face because he knows he did.

His second wife was given to him by some Mormon dude who's like, hey, take my child bride. So they dwell on this for what must be six, seven minutes where it's like they go to commercial and they come back and they play it again. They talk about the question. He like shows her the card and he's like, do you want to get out of here? Do you want to like answer this? She's like, no, I'll fucking answer it. And she's like, yes.

And the computer goes, that answer is, and I'm not kidding when it is 20 seconds of silence before it finally says true. Of course. Yeah. And there's like weird applause. The whole family breaks down in tears. And like the host is basically like, you want $500,000. She's the only person who does this.

He's like, congratulations, daughter of pedophile. You have half a million dollars. Go hug the weeping pedophile. And then it turns into just the most amateur therapy session where she's trying to explain it away like, yeah, yeah, my dad was in a weird polygamous cult. It's babbling insanity. This seems like something she's probably been waiting her whole life to explain it. It is coming out as gibberish.

So the dad says, I didn't even know what a minor was. That was a long time ago. That's a bowl of all the stances you could take. Amazing. You could play dumb, but this guy's like, what's up? Age. Right. Then the host congratulates them.

They're just this weeping Mormon family who just admitted on TV that the dad was a sex criminal for half a million dollars. And that's their champion. That is their champion status. That is, as far as I know, the only champions on this game, that is like the people that they were looking for. And they frame it as if like they finally found a truly honest person in America. Like they hold them up, sort of like, look at these virtuous people.

They just had the one molestation among them. And all they owned it. And I do want to talk about one other thing that happened on that show that's actually more interesting to me. And it was a guy who was a UFO abductee. You might have heard of this guy's name is Travis Walton. Have you heard of this fellow? You're this guy.

He's the guy who wrote, I can't remember the name of the book. The movie was called Fire in the Sky. Oh, hell yeah. Fire in the Sky rules. Yeah. I love that movie. It's a very scary movie. I actually saw him speak in college.

He's kind of a country boy. He's talking about when he was on the spaceship. We made a karate pose. I'm scared I'm alien. What's it? And I just knew favorite guy. Yeah. Yeah.

New favorite guy. So he takes the lie detector test and they're like, hey, fuck her. Did you get abducted by aliens? He's like, yep. Lie. That's pretty funny. It's so funny. So I do want to talk about him and obviously he probably didn't get

abducted by aliens. Now, not only is that an unlikely story that he got caught lying about. He said his proof was that he passed a lie detector before he took one. Again, this is his citation. He took one from the Arizona state police, I want to say. And then another one by like a UFO group. He says, so he's passed two lie detector tests. That's how you know he got abducted by aliens.

So when this one said he lied, he's like, well, you can't trust lie detector tests. Also, I've told two of them so far. So he got abducted shortly after the guy who hired him for a logging contract. He was working with a crew of loggers and they had a deadline coming up. And the guy's like, okay, you guys are late. We're going to start docking your pay unless there's some sort of an act of

God that prevents you from finishing this. Then an NBC aired a very popular UFO abduction show, sort of popularized the modern myth of UFO abductions. Then suspiciously, he and his crew get abducted by aliens and can't finish the logging contract. So he might be incentivized to lie and he might have had heavy inspiration from a recent TV special. But anyway, it's been his life since then.

This was 1978 until he goes on TV and turns out, no, you didn't get abducted by aliens, you fucking asshole. So everybody knows aliens prove and validate a lie detector test from space. They got a beam. They got a beam for that. They do got a beam for that. So can't get your time off of work. Yeah, those are the two things aliens do.

Also got a beam for that. It's like the horse and a blazer. They do those two things and that's it. You got a horse laser. So a lot of absurd and impossible things would have to happen for this guy to be telling the truth. Only a maniac would believe him. So just last year, who do you think interviewed him?

Mark Wahlberg, but the other one. Doesn't he seem like he'd be really into like logging alien abduction stories just like off the cuff? Let's just say that Mark Wahlberg is close. Is it Joe Rogan? It is Joe Rogan. Yeah. Joe Rogan just last year.

That's just a different kind of Mark Wahlberg. So that's the show. I was very because I did not know he was even on the show until I was watching the famously unerred episode of the polygamist. And I'm like, wait, that's a fucking alien guy. Just he got like three questions in. They asked him like, hey, were you drunk when you fucking made up that story? And do you have any mental disabilities?

And then were you abducted by aliens? And that's how far he got before. So no softball. He just went on TV to admit that I was super drunk. And yeah, my mind's not quite there the way most people know a sane person to be. So not everyone's life that they destroyed was like a bad person. Some of them were pedophiles. Some of them were outer space liars.

And two of them ruled. I hope I hope outers. I hope outer space liar jumped in the trans am of mullet guy. And I hope they got themselves some fucking panties. 1,900 Frankfurt! 1,900 Frankfurt! Our podcast is coming! And with Maximal in the crowd!

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Oh, but wait, turn-ons? Dynamite. We gotta match. Let's love Supreme, folks.