The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 81, Flash Gordon With Lydia Bugg

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Seanbaby and Brockway found out Lydia Bugg had never seen Flash Gordon so they dropped literally everything else in their lives and ran to their microphones to record this podcast about somebody experiencing Flash Gordon for the first time. You're welcome.

One nine hundred hot dog! One nine hundred hot dog! Out of podcast slams! With maximum hype! Say hot dog podcast word! Yeah! When you taste that nitrate power You're in the dog zone for an hour Come on!

You know the number One nine hundred One nine hundred hot dog! One nine zero zero One nine hundred hot dog! One nine hundred One nine hundred hot dog! One nine zero zero zero

Yeah! Nine thousand! Welcome to the dog zone nine thousand The official zone of one nine hundred hot dog dot com The final comedy website We do it for you People who love to laugh I'm the TV's Sean baby from the internet

And I'm joined by my hot dog partner Robert Follow up questions Brockway This is going to be so disappointing to you But here's a Brockway fact Much like Flash Gordon I too have attacked a false Asian Using birds No follow up questions

Damn it! So it was just a nickname We're joined by our favorite guest Writer for the trailer park boys comic And her own website Hot dog sweetheart Lydia Bug Thank you for having me Hot dog sweetheart is my new favorite title

I worked really hard on it It sounds weirdly dirty too It sounds like I don't think so Like it means something you don't like You took it in a spirit it wasn't intended It was the wholesome version of hot dog sweetheart Yes

In the 1940s when someone was a America sweetheart That's how I meant it Even though most of the articles you write for the site Are very horny Yes but if you said that in an alley way You would know what you meant Hey hot dog sweetheart

Just open fire You can't hurt me I'm the hot dog sweetheart What have you been working on these days Lydia? I wrote an article for the website About Love in the Jungle That made me not realize I had COVID For a really long time Because I thought I just felt bad

From watching that show Do you normally feel like you have COVID From watching bad television? Sometimes Are you like allergic to bad television? Because if so I'm so sorry we gave you this job I did have a little black fluid fall out of my ears While I was editing that article

So I think it is that show That show does something Yeah it's just a really bad one I haven't seen anything about it Was it streaming on Discovery Plus you said? Yes Discovery Plus Which I got free for a week So I didn't have to buy Discovery Plus

Thank God I think you could watch I think that's in some package With Mountain Monsters So that's the company That that show is keeping So maybe the best channel Maybe the official hot dog channel

Yeah let's start watching it more often Because I do watch garbage television on TLC Which used to be the learning channel And now it's just like this grotesquery Where they just follow terrible people around And watch them slowly die So it feels like Love in the Jungle Would be perfect for that channel

Yeah TLC and Discovery Plus Are the two most cursed channels out there I think Maybe Lifetime I feel like Lifetime has a lot to answer for But Love in the Jungle Was really fascinating to me Because I loved the premise

It felt like really 90s Where they just throw people in the jungle And you're like okay You have to pretend you're an animal Like on the honor system I guess Like I feel like What an easy system again You're like okay you're a turtle

And I'm like okay I'm a turtle And then as soon as the camera's off Or just looking the other way I'm like okay lady We gotta go in the bushes and fuck quick While I'm using my human words This is what I'm trying to get at With all that turtle shit

Let's make this happen Trying to organize a revolt You have to be a smart person Like they pick people they know Are not smart enough to figure that out though Like they don't know when the cameras are gone They just say like guys There's cameras everywhere

Like don't check but they're there And they just believe it I also feel like they wouldn't kick you off the show For like just a few minor violations Like if you just like Oh yeah Just walk into the jungle You're banished

You just have to find your way out of the jungle Now I have a question Did they prepare it all If they were supposed to communicate And behave as these animals Did they like study up intensely On their habits Oh no, no it wasn't like

I am shocked They were just like You can't talk because animals can't talk Which isn't true Like animals communicate in their own way We just can't understand them But they're like Nope can't talk

Animals don't talk Okay I feel like I have enough sign language That I could bone a hawker on the jungle Like you know what I mean I feel like just anyone who Just learned the alphabet in third grade

I think they can make it work on that show Yeah and like if people did I think get a leg up Because of their personality Even though they couldn't talk Like there was one girl The first episode That no one was super interested in

And then they had a party Where they showed her like Torquing and doing the splits on the ground And the next day everybody was like Oh I'm really interested in her He has demonstrated a personality That is how it works in the animal kingdom Whichever chip does the backflip

They get all the fellas Yeah Whichever ostrich torques the best I could vouch for that I was just at the zoo And this ostrich was twerking I jumped to the fence One of the things that makes our job fun

Is sharing something with people They've never seen before Usually it's horrible Like clown sex manual Or a bowling hypnosis book But sometimes it's nice Like when we made Lydia watch Conan Or less nice

Like when she made us watch Xanadu But today it's a nice one And Lydia for the first time Just watched my all time favorite movie In her perfect film, 1980s Flash Gordon I loved it so much I would watch it for the shoulder pads alone

For like the costumes alone It's amazing I was ready to fight about it You thought somebody might not like Flash Gordon Yeah I was ready I'm always ready I mean I do have one small tweak to the plot That I think would make the movie

Make more sense And would make it a better movie Do you want to mention it now Through the plot And then you'll spring in No I want to mention it up top Because I think it's relevant the whole time Replace Flash Gordon with a golden retriever

Oh yeah that's a very good point Let me run through the entire plot in my head You're 100% right Not only does it work It makes more sense It's better Because he's a gentle dopey man That wants to love

He has a lot of parts He kind of approaches the sex parts With a golden retriever attitude Yeah a lot of trust A lot of kindness A lot of naivete Like it could be sex Or if she threw a ball

He'd be just as happy Yeah But yes I do want to talk about Sam Jones I think he was the perfect Flash Gordon Because Flash Gordon is a football player Completely unprepared to a fight of war in space And Sam Jones seems like a guy

Completely unprepared to act Like he looks like Flash Gordon He's kind of hunky I feel like he'd be perfect For like a photo shoot of Flash Gordon And then here he is Oh you have to act in this movie And he's like

I have no fucking idea what that means But somehow it's absolutely perfect Yeah Because he just seems super dumb Like I felt like if he didn't have his name On his t-shirt Like I felt like they put that there Because he kept forgetting his name

So when they said like Oh what's your name He kept looking down like Flash It's Flash I'm Sam No Your character's name Okay

Golden Retriever There's no way he read the entire script Like he showed up for shooting that day And they gave him his scene And that's how he understood the movie It was just one out of order piece at a time I really think that's how it was written Like a lot of the lore behind this movie

Is chaos Because it was made by so many people Speaking so many different languages With so many different takes on What the tone should be And I don't think the script was ready Until long after they started shooting So you're probably right about that

Okay He definitely gives me that vibe of like Okay where am I today? I'm in the jungle Wait no still in space? Oh space jungle Okay And I'm Flash Gordon

I think he got a little typecast Because he didn't get another movie for five years When he starred in a Vietnam movie called Jungle Heat And he played a guy named Gordon All very close So close And then two years later he played another adventure In a movie called Jane in the Lost City

He's not called Gordon that one He's called Jungle Jack Book His other movies include Driving Force One Man Force Maximum Force And White Force So that's his come here

I don't like that at all Yikes I think he went on to have like a security company I didn't do a ton of research on him But I think he got out of acting And became like a Hollywood security specialist I did went to see him at Comic Con Several years ago

And he was explaining to a fan that he wouldn't sign his DVD Because Lenit would go up in value And he explained this three times Like you remember we had that really stupid president And he would be like Yeah we have COVID That COVID numbers are going up Because the testing is going up?

No let me explain it again Because you guys aren't getting it Like he was explaining it to him like that Like no see I signed this And then God you're just never going to get this But anyway I looked on eBay Found an autographed DVD for $16

Which means he was a dick to this guy Just to keep someone who loved him From having about seven theoretical dollars So good job Good job Sam This will go up $8 I can't do that to you Money corrupts you don't understand

Not to mention at Comic Con I feel like we all understand the Exchange rates And like if a celebrity is like Yes you can take a picture with me It will be $10 Like that's the one place where that's totally appropriate Yeah that's what they're there for right?

I'll sign this but give me $10 And then we've traded $10 You hate me a little bit more You have a keepsake that now is more of an ugly memory Than a treasured memory and fuck you I'm fleshboard So George Lucas was originally Trying to make this movie

And so he went to I think King is the name of the Production company that owns Flash Gordon And he was like I want to make your Flash Gordon picture And they're like who the fuck are you And he went on to make some other movie The people Then went

With a different direction Several different ways Like they got a new director I think three different times before they finally landed On the director Oh and by the way Flash Gordon was Only created because

Some guys couldn't get the rights to John Carter of Mars So he was just like oh we don't have John Carter Let's just fucking make a John Carter That made so much sense Can I just say I spent the whole movie Like 13 minutes in my husband paused this And said like what is this movie by the way And I was like I think it's like a superhero

Origin story And I'm like waiting for him to get his powers Like eventually he's going to get super powers And he's like okay This is the way in the movie And I kept saying like stuff's happening Like okay this must be how he gets his powers And then nothing that he doesn't

And then the last third I just kept going He's just a guy He's just a regular guy Oh foolish Lydia Did you not realize that the true power all along Was being white and present Yeah like that's all he done And I kind of made me understand like angry white men

Like this is what they think life should be like Is like yeah I just show up And then I win Is that not at least before 1960 That was what life was like Yeah and you know what I would be pissed off if someone took that from me honestly So I get it

You get you understand race Yeah I understand Understand that And all record is saying You understand white power Oh no I'm sorry white force Yeah we're watching that next week white force

But yeah Flash Gordon was around since the 30's Like it was a comic book And a movie serial And so George Lucas They turned him down and he went on to make Star Wars Which I think technically makes Star Wars Flash Gordon knockoff

Which makes Flash Gordon and John Carter knockoff So that makes Buck Rogers The Czar of Tarzan Of Conan I'm not sure I don't know how all the math works But I love this movie because everyone's having There are more layers Yeah there has to be

And speaking of John Carter of Mars I don't know if you're familiar with this IP But it is Maximum horny And they really incorporated that into Flash Gordon I think Because All the ladies on Mars were like A pasties with chains

Linking them together Just the bare minimum to cover up The nipples and genitals That's how you dress on Mars Yeah But I will say I did like the one Female character that was kind of a person In this. I liked Dale

I loved that her name was Dale but she seemed She was really the only capable one Of the three of them That does anything intelligent Yeah That's fair. I think that's fair I think it was at least she was Watching the scenario and being like

Okay somebody has to reason this through I don't know if like her plans came off As intelligent or if she saved anything With her intelligence but she was The only one that paused for even a moment When like Space main came out And she was like okay this is weird though

Right? And nobody else Flash was just like uh huh Uh huh Let's play football Yes She dealt better than that I guess I have some more background On the film before we talk about it itself

Dino De Laurentiis is the producer He was like he made like 500 movies He was this Italian super producer He fired the first director after a year Of pre-production because uh he wasn't Making it close enough to the movie serials That he loved when he was a kid So then he hired a guy named Mike Hodges

Whose big movie at that point was Get Carter Which uh it was a Michael K movie Where he fucked and punched his way to the center Of a murder mystery. It's pretty great. They remade it Years later. Um anyway Mike saw this script or what State it was in and he's like no one's ever Gonna fucking make this. Sure whatever. So he signed on

To this thing. He had no idea what Flash Gordon was And through Either laziness or inspiration he Made a point of using the original comic book As storyboards. So Um he made this decision Like while on the plane to the set Uh learning who Flash Gordon was

And I would say it wasn't until Like Sin City or Watchmen until Someone else tried this uh same obvious idea And it probably wasn't until Thor Ragnarok until Someone had actual fun doing it So the idea of just taking comic books And saying let's fucking make this into a movie Was really

Novel and not it didn't Happen again for like 35 years. So way ahead Of its time they just went for it With no insecurities which I respect Which is how I describe most Superhero movies pre-2010 It's just really insecure. I don't know if you remember The original X-Men but that but they would

Like dress them up like bikers and they They were like there was always like an excuse Of like why we're we're still cool Even though this is about comic books Right. We're still cool kids Look at the skateboard. Wolverine's gonna Skateboard now Yeah

So the director was like I'm gonna make it exactly like this comic book The producer was like I'm gonna make it exactly like these Movie serials and then the writer Was named Lorenzo Semple Jr. who was Basically the guy behind the Adam West Batman Show from the 60s. So that's an insane choice Oh that makes so much sense

That makes so much sense So it's a guy who can't take this shit Seriously kind of trying But also not And none of nobody knows The producer definitely didn't know because He didn't speak English very good He wanted it to be dead serious. The director knew

Better because the script was ludicrous And the Batman guy Had no fucking idea like what he wanted That to be but he knew it was stupid During the making of the film people were constantly Laughing and the producer never knew why There's this awesome interview I found where The director's like making an

Do an impression of him and he's like Micah, why are they laughing? I'll flash a Gordon he'll say it with the world He couldn't figure out why everyone's Laughing at the costumes and shit So it should be disaster but it's just This beautiful perfect thing Maximum horny as I mentioned

I think the music It's obviously Beyond perfect. The Queen soundtrack is Amazing. Super literal sometimes Super crazy and psychedelic other times It was almost going to be Pink Floyd but when I say almost I think the director like meant to call him

That never did. He was just like man wouldn't it be cool If we had Pink Floyd and that sort of turned into a Hollywood legend Anyway People have turned on Ming I think we should mention that that He was sort of this Asian stereotype And they had Max Von Sydow play him Not in like a super Asiany way I guess

But still like We did not have access To easy Asians Before like 1975 It was so difficult to find one You've got to understand And the fact that the people were called the Mongo people also not great

Like none of it In the like credits I saw Ming the Merciless and Elastabe that was not at all Asian And I was like oh no I'm not inspired by confidence in this Luckily he just played him as Max Von I'll say I know He's like obviously

A Hollywood legend Brian Blessed who plays Voltan Is like another like Shakespearean guy Timothy Dalton Oh my god Timothy Dalton I love Timothy Dalton He's in Doom Patrol now I love how he has the reputation of being Like a Shakespearean actor but he will do

Absolute crap all the time I feel like most Shakespearean actors will Yeah Yeah Then of course there's Topol who plays Zarkov who is the main Guy in Fiddler on the Roof Anyway so like all these guys are huge

Actors in different directions So it's almost like They put together the perfect cast For like a stage show of Flash Gordon but it's of course a film So all of this Works together to just make it I just crazy in

So many different and unpredictable directions And I love that I also like really respected actors Cause I think any of those guys I've mentioned would like Headline any Shakespearean production Anywhere and never want to be happy To have them and here they are In just the dumbest fucking thing

Well and then next to The guy that plays Flash Gordon who has no clue Where he is or what's going on or what his name is With all these great actors That makes it even worse that you're like I'm so glad Flash Gordon only has like Ten lines in this movie like That was a mercy that they did

I would argue he nailed every single one of them Oh yeah every time he was like Whoa this is crazy I believe he thought that Yeah his only stage direction Was look really lost right here And they hired the perfect guy for that I could do no Keanu

That's actually exactly how I feel Is this method acting? Yeah he is accidentally method So I do want to talk about the intro In detail because It happens so quickly and efficiently It is two seconds in And the earth is already being torn apart by

Earthquakes and hot hail Hot hail that was the only weird one All the other ones were normal but then it was Hot hail It's all to a queen song so good I do also love that it's not like Scorch medias or shrieking death Or something it's just like hot hail

And so Flash Gordon oh go ahead I was just gonna say I love the queen Song too it was super confusing to me Cause I was like it sounds like so generic I'm like what are his they should be saying What his super powers are like that's Usually what a superhero theme song does Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can

So the Flash Gordon is just like Flash and I'm like okay More information please and it's like Ohhhh But what's he do and it's like Flash that's it That's all it's got for you flash You have to admit that was perfectly accurate

Yes it was And you know And then he shows up and his shirt says flash I'm like they really want you to know this guy's name He goes up to Dale and he says My name's Flash And she's like I know Like he's

We're back in the New York Jets And his shirt says flash And he is Fucking so sexually aggressive But like a fourth grader Like he doesn't quite know that he's sexually aggressive He's just like I think you're pretty Like I want to smell your hair

You're like just Just like looming over her Yeah But I do get the idea that I get the idea that they Would be fucking if the sky didn't turn to blood Like I get I feel like he was getting somewhere

I love how The pilots just let him come into the cockpit And just fuck around He's like hey how's it going up here guys Yeah it's alright but they're like shooting up And down in the sky like 300 feet off the earth And just a maniac Like suicide dive climb

Dive climb and they're like yeah don't even worry About it buddy but it's nothing you'd want to toss A third down pass through either Want to autograph this for my kid They're just steam rolling through this script Like a Bob Hope monologue And then he's like what's his name Buzz done perfect

Exchange Then Ming shoots out of the sky And kills the pilots You see him They show him fly out of the sky as like a ghost And so it's almost Sorcery I don't quite understand

It's awesome never addressed why he did that Yes He's barely aware of earth He certainly isn't aware the pilots are trying to Crash flash his plane He's just like doing Buzzes Flipping around in the stratosphere

And shooting dudes That's how this movie opens And then they crash land the plane Because flash doesn't know how to fly He knows how to crash Good If he has a superpower That's what it is he can crash a plane

And not die I liked the comic Timing of flash here and also sort of The demonstration of how No one involved in this knows how to make comedy Because she goes tell me Your flying lessons have gotten as far as landing And he goes I was afraid you'd ask

That No Like Of course Of course you stop after I was afraid you'd ask that But now he's like I should probably explain the joke To the audience and the woman She's not gonna get it

I love it so much We really need to up the stakes of the Of the plane crash that's currently happening So he Crashes into the Mad Scientist's lab And Zarkov Crashes into the perfect scientist that is actually addressing

The only person on the planet that knows what this is That's a fair point However There is one inconsistency in that he's like I've predicted this but The spaceship just showed up on a whim And started it was run by a madman Who just starts hitting buttons on a whim

Like I don't feel like there's any sort of Algorithm that would have predicted this So It's just a happy coincidence that he happens to be right He said he predicted A threat would come from space Which is like what crazy people say all the time So I don't know if he's actually supposed

I don't think he's good at his job A few hundred thousand people were right A few maniacs On the street corners are like I told you guys I'm actually the Smart one Yeah Alex Jones would be like I told you the whole time

I was right the whole time I said there would be a globalist Conspiracy that brings the space hot hail There is a lot Of scary stuff in space It's good logic Yeah Something eventually bad will come from space Oh okay that's like a fortune teller

Being like oh I think you have a relative with the name It starts with L Then he did have a rocket And like a A beam that Wanted to destroy the moon I'm not sure what the moon beam was He didn't have a beam I thought he was just going

To space with a gun and he was like I'm gonna find what's up there and I'm gonna shoot it I'm gonna fucking shoot it My dad's old cap gun So he has an assistant Who just completely bails on the whole thing He's like oh I'm not going To space with you to fight space aliens

I'm out of here and he pulls a gun on him He's like get your toothbrush and whatever And the guy's like no I'm fucking leaving He's like what did he think They were gonna do with the rocket they were Building He's one of my favorite characters Cause while he's

Fling a gun when he doesn't shoot him It was a bluff and he says Haven't you any spirit at all And his assistant goes No It's like a stubborn camp bully I love months That's it that's Anne from months

And so he decides Flash Gordon and Dale Arden as captives To help him fly the rocket Because someone has to hold down one of the pedals Somebody has to put their feet on something What a poorly made spaceship That you have like a button you have to hold down The whole time you're going to space

And again I would like to say A dog could perform that role very well A dog could have pushed the button If he had a chimpanzee or a golden retriever That's true This also demonstrates something that I think is important is that Flash Gordon Can't fight for shit

Like he's at gunpoint and he's like I got this and he kind of gently shoves him by the wrist And has no follow up Okay that should take care of him He pointed the gun at me again Shit So that's how Flash Gordon fights And yet he's like 20 minutes away from

Overthrowing Space Hitler Yeah His power is definitely not fighting Or talking or being smart Or being fast Or being in a position Yeah He's got a little bit of earth luck I guess

But again He's very handsome, he is a handsome man Good job He's white and present Yes Terrific job He looks great in star panties So

Flash has no survival instincts They end up getting in the rocket and Helping him Space, sure Space is really sleepy, I don't tell you that They don't tell you that They don't tell you that I bet Zarkov

Should have known If Zarkov was a real scientist he would have known He would have been like everyone get ready We're going to take a very pleasant nap Get in your jammies Space requires jammies They put in like a lava lamp And

The Queen Song plays The Imperial Vortex Which is a fucking awesome name And I can't believe the same people who wrote that Wrote Hot Hail And now we see like the outer space Scenes and it's just breath taking Like no effort

Was made into making them look cool They just tried to make it look like the comic book It's like they gave Sid and Marty Croft 80 million dollars, it's just fucking Amazing Flash meets some star samurai men And they shoot him with hand rays And one that shoots hands

Oh wait can I say I love here the doctor goes They're highly advanced I think we can negotiate With them and I was like yeah They look like they're really Negotiate with the bull They're like big shoulder pads And they're solid gold masks

These are men that want to negotiate And now if you pay attention One of these soldiers Has the exact helmet From Conan and The little skull set In a helmet, yeah They spray painted it gold of course

But yeah you can see a lot of the props Used from the other movies Just like they love that helmet But it's also the most recognizable Helmet ever made With this skull set in that's wearing its own little helmet I see that every single time Oh I love those, yeah

I forgot that that was in Conan But it looked great with Flash Gordon The gold really made it pop I didn't even notice Color it gold I'm like that's a new hat So they bring The earthlings into the horny cosplay chamber Everyone looks awesome

She's gold plated plastic and capes everywhere They really let Like the drama linger Like in a modern movie there'd be camera cuts And close ups and this is just like this Wide shot of like 40-ish people Standing in just something that looks completely Ridiculous and they just let you

Stare at it it's so funny And stupid and I love it Well everybody looked great Except for Lizard Man Lizard Man because you know what I don't want more work put into Lizard Man Because I love him so much but it's just like A man in dino pajamas

With his face painted red and I think You're not supposed to notice You're supposed to think his face is a mouth Yeah that's a good point I was like what's with the species Whose face is in their mouth I didn't think that that was not part of it I think you weren't supposed to look

That closely The one chink in the space armor of Flash Gordon I do love them They look like Sid and Marty Croft got eight dollars To make those They're very sleazy Yeah disproportionate to everything else That looks so good and then there's these guys

They're like what you would expect The Halloween costume of Flash Gordon To look like The Halloween store for a couple of dollars And they're like oh man This is a disappointment Like an 80s Halloween costume where you have Flash Gordon's face on the shirt

On a plastic bag Yeah a plastic beard So Ming comes out And Ming is glorious Variation identifying Which again I didn't quite realize until I was an adult That oh yeah this guy in the comic Was like a yellow peril

Chinese guy And here he is I just thought Max on Sido had Flash He's just got a lot of style So he kills the king and the space Africans And then his daughter is lurking Around hot as shit Just space bikini all sparkling

And she's Super into Flash Gordon And I guess why wouldn't she be That makes sense And Dale is now already insecure Maybe they fucked already on the plane But as far as I know they've never even Kissed

They don't know each other's last names or hobbies He just knows she's a real estate agent And she knows he is Flash And she's like hey remember me Like she's jealous already And again who wouldn't be Princess Aura is It's also because Flash drops her instantly

Like as soon as he sees her he's like oh Okay I could fuck an alien He does walk past This whole harem of space bikini ladies Who are just writhing for him Like it's a gauntlet of horniness Like Dale is In like a smart white

Business suit Like she was just about to show a three bedroom To a nice couple So I'm not joking that really is Her job in this she's a I thought she was a travel agent because he says What travel agent is afraid of flying And I was like that is weird

Travel agent Thank you She's had like eight different jobs in the canon She's usually a scientist But here they travel agents It's fine That's like one joke That's hilarious

Yeah So they throw I'm skipping ahead in my notes So Ming really likes Dale And he has a horny ring And he just sort of makes her glow And paw like an invisible walrus I never understood this as a kid

I don't understand it now Like the evil Doctor Doom assistant She even rivals your daughter Meaning like this is something to do Is hit ladies with horny rays in front of everybody In the royal chambers And watch how they behave including his daughter Yes

And she has like a there's like a Rating system like dude when your daughter is on the horny Rate it is 10 out of 10 But wait what's this earth lady is really getting it So she goes what happened to me And flash Gordon says I don't know but it was pretty sensational She's just

Again I don't believe He was provided a script that said that I think he's just reacting I like the way he potted that weird Invisible walrus He tells to He tells the court to prepare her for Our pleasure and

A football game breaks out I guess there's no other way to put it Flash Gordon just starts And like did you mention that I love before that When the princess says to her dad like I don't even know how she says it But she's like I want to have sex with flash Gordon And he's like oh my god

Like the way he responds to her He goes your appetites I swear He's like girl you're going to get us in trouble Yes I knew you'd want to fuck him That's so you Yeah like he responded so

Cute to it and then he gets so mad later When she actually tries to that I thought that was a really funny Contrast I thought we were riffing Were we not riffing But during the football game Flash Gordon is like Throwing space eggs at people

Like footballs and they have no way to deal with it They don't know what earth football But Clydes is like a star genius He's doing like a game You gotta match him so he figures out football Just from like this mess around And they start Doing it

Dale's cheerleading it rules Man he footballs those mother fuckers Right into the grave Just footballs some sons of bitches apart They're like the only way to fight football Is with football you fools The movie would have ended there If Zarkov wasn't there because he's such a nerd

That when he tries to throw football a flash He hits him in the face and knocks him out It's probably Flash's fault we're not catching it But I think you have to blame Zarkov That's probably why he became a mad scientist Because he's such a fucking nerd There's no way he can throw a spiral Yes

That was not on the curriculum At mad science school Flash gets thrown in prison And uh Executed and we are now what 37 minutes into the movie And the main heroes died They've had a football game

I do appreciate they gave him Those little hot pants for his execution That's the execution uniform His hot pants Yeah they took away his pants And his shirt that said flash on it Which made me really sad I don't know what happened to that

Prepare him for execution So you mean the shiny sex pants? Of course I mean the shiny sex pants He looked like the guy for Rocky Horror That they make in that I wondered if this was the inspiration for that That's funny you mentioned that because did you notice Riff Raffer's in this?

No! Oh okay That's hilarious I had no idea Wasn't Rocky Horror 70's like late 70's So it would have been before Yeah it would have been before I suppose Yeah I thought so

Maybe that inspired Hey put Flash Gordon in the little underwears Big wooden dipshits We're just really having a moment in time So Flash is dead In his sexy panties And Aura brings him back to life with a magic kiss That's in the script

And then she Watched him change the other shiny panties I love that Flash clearly fucks But he also seems really out of his element With this woman like being sexually aggressive Like he's just like what is happening What are you doing to my

What's this in my pants Sometimes If like your dog is begging for an entire burger And then you just hold down The entire burger for them They're like oh shit this is a trap What do I do about this That's what's happening there

Somebody offered Flash the entire burger It's the truck they never expected to catch Zarkov is now being reprogrammed They're like hey we'll take this earth scientist And reprogram his brain And so they go through his memories A lot of screaming cats in Nazi's In this guy's brain

Most of his memories are screaming cats With a little bit of Nazi's But like I want to say 80% of his life Was just screaming cats Yeah we'd have to go through Frame by frame to be sure But I think you're right I think you're exactly right

I think they just wanted to show Hitler so that Ming could go Yes he had it right In case you didn't get the merciless Was a bad guy Yeah they did a little A little Hitler joke there This Hitler guy seems pretty cool He shows promise I think was the exact line

So then Flash is Escaping with Aura in a rocket ship And She is just rubbing all over him And Flash keeps stopping The foreplay to ask about like shapes in the sky He's like hey what's that over there I love it, I love it so much

Also the planets here are like They're toys floating in rainbow soup Like it doesn't make any sense By the physics as we know It's wonderful It looks great, love it I like that she teaches Like the only way to fly their space jet

Is like fingering a woman Like that whole scene where he gives them how to fly Is like very clearly So you can only fly this ship If you know how to finger bang really good And he does Like me Also it's like finger in a butt

Okay Aura I got it Just play that next time So Let's see, Dale is Back at Ming's sex harem And it's just Very horny

All these women So I guess they're like Is this where they give her the drink I think I'm seeing Space Roofie Space Roofies herself Right, which I think is She shows a lot of agency to like She's kind of trying to kick ass

In this helpless situation I guess I should just get fucked up then I felt like it was a really Interesting solution For a movie It's what I would do Yeah, I think she lost all hope So for a minute there she was like

I guess I just give up until she heard from Flash again And then she decides to fight back Right, and I love that Flash calls her on the mind phone While Aura is just Going for it And he mentions this on the mind phone Like every part of him is in her mouth

Anyway He can't help but think Man, this girl is really turning me on She's like, what? He's like, nothing I wasn't talking about you She's like, okay It's perfect because he's the kind of man

That thinks the things that happen to him Like that's his internal monologue Is things currently happening to him Outside, it is warm Very notably not thinking about his next move Like we can see inside his brain and it is He's six seconds behind us At all times

So Dale escapes all by herself She is just All of a sudden a fucking kung fu warrior She does a one-headed cartwheel laser blast To take out a guy She's the only one that fights at all Still has to be half roofied Through this

Right, she's completely hammered She's drunk and she remembers to pick up her shoes After she kills three men To bring them with her in case she needs them later That's how badass Dale is That's advanced womaning right there I wouldn't have remembered to bring the shoes She stealth eliminates two guards

While she's in the bikini gown With beads There's beads dangling off of her And she's still stealth killing dudes Amazing So I guess we're now on Arboria because Aura takes Flash there

And I guess Drop him off, like the plot is happening so quickly It's hard to understand everyone's motivations They're doing a lot of weird tree stuff They have a thing on Arboria where A test of manhood is just you stick your hand in a tree And hope that the balloon scorpion inside doesn't kill you Well after you've had sex

There was that, I couldn't believe this was PG And there was this whole scene Where they're initiating a boy into manhood And they're all listening to him have sex And like thumping the ground In line with the rhythm Of them having sex It's a very horny movie

PG Get your fuck on That's how I lost my virginity Yeah, like with the whole room full of people Listening and then you do the scorpion thing Yeah, drumline You don't have a death stump, like we're from Pacific Northwest so maybe

Like it looks a lot like Arboria It just might be where they pulled that custom From, you might not have that in the middle You probably have like some kind of a tractor We do the first part But we don't do the death scorpion We cut that out years ago, that's too barbaric for us But you reach into like a tractor engine

I'm sure Yeah, and there's a kitten And it's just nice, you just find the kitten and you're like, yay Well same thing, that's how you win So Timothy Dalton is very jealous of Flash And when he sees him he makes I think three corpse jokes in 10 seconds He's like, oh I didn't know you liked necrophilia aura

Cause again Flash Gordon and I We died in this movie And he's like, well hang in with the rest of the hanging meat Like he just keeps going on and on about, hey you're dead You're a dead body, fuck you And Now we cut back to Dale who's been rescued by Zarkov

Cause they said, hey this Dale lady Is just kung fuing the fuck out of our army Send the new mind slave to get her And he's like, I'm actually not a mind slave Because You can't stop the human spirit And So I armored my mind with

Beetle songs Yeah, he says he thought about the beetles I armored my mind using the beetle songs So that they could not penetrate I got to erase beetles They erased all the cats in Nazi stuff So he's probably just like in a much better mood He's the same dude, he just doesn't remember the holocaust

I enjoy my life having never been attacked By cats They dump Flash in a swamp And aura is now At a table getting whipped And a couple shackles are little robot hands I don't think this is a torture room I think this was a fuck room, they're like dude

All the torture rooms are full, we got a torture here In the fuck room It's her favorite room And then they bring out the boar worms And she's like, oh no, not the boar worms Which I think Is there a more phallic option in this movie Than to have something called a boar worm

That is like the ultimate torture No, I don't know what they're doing Yeah, everything they could make horny So Now Dalen Zarcoff are dragged to the Hawkman Palace I'm kind of going at the same pace of the movie too Like this is all just happening

Yeah, it's just think, think, think, think, think Like there's no character development No breathing room It's just like, what's the coolest thing that can happen What would look really cool Oh, stick him in a big cage and then stick that cage in the swamp Yes, doing it next I love the lack of transitions

No movie lacks transitions Like Flash Gordon You're just like in the next cool set piece And if you wonder how that happened Fuck you Yeah, the movie treats you like you're an idiot If you don't understand why we're in the Hawk Kingdom now Yo

Well, I do think every set is so distinct That they don't even need like exterior shots To say like here we are now I wasn't clear, they were completely right to do that To just be like Put them in the next awesome thing And everybody will love it So now

At the Hawkman Palace, Timothy Dalton shows up And Brian Blessed is like Gordon's alive And he is But he gets betrayed by Riff Raff And then they make him do the Trees Dump Russian Roulette

And Timothy Dalton's like No, we're gonna play this until you touch the scorpion and die And Flash realizes this Again, in a weird, a weirdly Canny moment Oh, I'm gonna trick somebody I'm gonna pretend to do one thing And then do a different thing

He's like, he's learning And then he immediately yells trick ya He's so proud It's the only time He's ever done it They were afraid the audience would know That he had tricked him, so he had to yell it Yeah, they're like, this doesn't seem very flash Gordon to

Deceive someone And cleverness And forethought So In the two hours they've been captives He and Dale are now better fighters Than this entire elite Star soldier army

Now he falls into the quicksand Then he crawls out of the quicksand Into a fucking bog spider Has to get saved By Hawkman lasers, it's just one thing after another But nothing can kill Flash Gordon Again, he's skipping nothing And that's

It took about as long in the movie Just from the quicksand Two buttcrab, two lasers There's Hawkman, it's just I forgot about the bog spider And like, that's a big Set piece, a big goopy set piece That I totally didn't remember until you said it

It takes like five seconds And it deflates when he kills it And just, it's perfect Don't question it, says the movie So we don't It rises with like a burp And it has these spider claws That constantly stab him

It's a giant working model So then they cut to 400 Mongo miles to the west where they're waking up To say like, hey dude, look at all this stuff That's happening and they have cameras everywhere So they can just show it Everybody in the movie knows exactly what's going on Everywhere

Timothy Dalton demands a trial by combat Against Flash Gordon And so I love this scene because then Dale shows up And she's like, yay Flash Gordon Oh my god, I thought you were dead And I'm so happy to see you like Brian Blessed Is behind them just chewing the scenery so hard

You can't look at anything but him He's just like, I'm back here with Hawkwings And no pants I love it I have no idea what they say to this day There's a line where Dale Dale says like, do you remember me to him And he just goes, indeed I do

What the fuck was that line delivering And she looked shocked by it like she'd stick To step back like, okay What the fuck's happening She knows she's getting out active She's like, cut I didn't know it was like this Can I try again No, you cannot

I don't even think of the English I don't even think of the English for this I need more diaphragm movement than I have So They have a fight to the death On a giant tilting disc With whips With spikes

Over space This is a real set they built With presumably real spikes, they seem real Even if they're made out of rubber Like Sam Jones and Timothy Dalton should be dead They're doing their own fucking fight On top of this really shaky Manufactured set

Yeah, I have to say That fight, that was the female gaze Like it was very hot Just Timothy Dalton Super hot model guy whipping each other With these big whips, I was like Did they realize What they're doing in this scene

All off balance with spikes around They know They know what women do Women love disarmed men On shaky ground I know this But yes, very horny movie Even during a fight to the death

Dale goes flash I love you But we only have 14 hours to save the earth Fantastic It is unprompted, it is crazy of her to do it But it does help remind us Of the stakes in this Bullwhip fighting Spike platform a million miles into space

You're like, oh there are stakes The highest stakes thing Anybody's ever put to fill Yeah, he's about to die And she's like, hey, hurry up There's also a ticking clock Oh, right And then in addition to that

I think there's an exchange of lines here That perfectly describes Like everyone's take on the movie And like encapsulates the entire movie Where Voltaire goes What is this? And Sarkov goes humanity And he goes madness

And then Dale goes flash And I'm just, it's perfect It's perfect Cletus shows up and says Agent Sarkov You will be liquidated for treachery And they fucking kill him With something he never expected

Shove So they just fucking shove him onto the spikes His eyeballs and tongue melts out of his Dr. Doom helmet Like he dies So hard, so easily So And god, I don't even know what the fuck's going on It wasn't, to be fair, it was Flash's specialty

It's Tackle It's like the one thing he can do And they set him up for a Tackle Oh, okay That's super effective Something, again, a dog could do very well Just shove that guy Yeah, just run up and like

No jumps, no jumps There's a bad guy standing over the spikes Bingo, the dog would have jumped on him Or airbud, that's how he would kill the bank robber or something Yeah So Dale get abandoned by the hawk people Because Ming is on his way, they're like, okay, we're fucking out of here

They're like, can you give us a ride? Can you carry us? And he's like, fuck you Flash has an idea This is a genius idea, the kind of Really smart golden retriever He starts pulling down the curtains To make a parachute To jump into bottomless forever space

There's nothing, it's never been made more clear That there is nothing beneath them So even if it works, it's the worst idea But also like Nobody entertains for a second That this could have worked Yeah, Dale's like That place you're trying to

He's like, we'll just parachute to Arboria She's like, that's 50 miles away That's made out of fucking swamps And bog spiders And it's not downward flash Right It's in a direction we can't point I don't even know

How many mongo miles 50 miles is So it could I don't understand at all the point of reference But now Ming shows up And he offers flash a mongo kingdom And flash is like, fuck you, no way And I love that he doesn't offer a kingdom for any reason

Except for because flash is Fucking crazy and Ming thinks it's Hilarious That's not me putting anything on the movie He's just in a paraphrasing But he shows up and he's like You're fucking hilarious, do you want a kingdom? Yeah

I would have too Ming stands At the edge of the nothingness And Flash Gordon is two feet from He could have tried the tackle again I thought it was weird he didn't But that's how Ming rolls

He's just like, yeah, no, I feel like What dad tackled me and he was right He just has this aura that you're like It won't work, whatever This tackle won't work on this guy So let's see Flash They blow up the whole place

He's like, okay fine, die here Flash Gordon The Hawk Palace model which is just Amazing like this model must Have taken months to build and then they just Exploded with like what looks like 20 pounds of fireworks like It's incredible, perfect And they leave him alone in there

They're like, well, we'll leave you alone For a while and then we'll start shooting it So he has plenty of time to like Think up his next plan for escape Which is Oh sorry, go ahead No, I was just gonna leave it which is I mean, it's none if you remember correctly

I don't remember It's flying He just kind of runs around He runs around looking at stuff and is just like Ah, ah And then he falls down a tube Where there happens to be A space jet ski and he's like

Oh man, that was a free one But they take Baron and Dale and Sarkov with them And for some reason just leave Flash behind Why would they not just Gonna use him as fuck sleigh Flash has to be like an example Although he would make such a good fuck sleigh

I didn't understand why they were like Everybody else is gonna cut Well, like it just seems to me like he's just Mr. Beaning his way through space Like he's just They're like, I'm gonna try and kill Flash Gordon But you know, not very hard I'm gonna try and kill his friends much harder

But Flash Gordon, who is a continual problem I'm just gonna kind of leave him behind Well, I think Ming wanted him to be a maximum problem He's like, you're kind of fun, but if you had a kingdom You would be a fucking pain in my ass And he's like, I don't want a kingdom He's like, okay, I'll just blow you up then Would stick with this medium level of trouble

You'll probably get out of there in a rocket cycle I don't know I sure hope you don't fall down that tube Do you understand the tube? Okay, Flash, you have to say yes Because I don't think you understand the tube I know what a tube is, Ming And I'm not getting in it

Till you give me back Dale So, speaking of Dale, she's now in Princess Aura's Like, she's having a pillow fight with Princess Aura Well, like all the other concubines are giggling Very horny I think the restraint these filmmakers had And not having this scene end in sex Is remarkable

Because that seems like Where it's obviously leading Yeah, it's like a very flirty fight scene Where they're like, aha, you hit me Look at you, oh no Oh, my panties fell off That was enough back in 1980 That was enough to finish

Before the internet Yeah, I think you're right I think a lot of people like this Was their sexual awakening seeing this movie Probably Having this fight on a giant silk bed With these two women I was four, so it was a little bit

Before my libido's time But it still had an impression So Aura has a plan to poison Ming And she knows this will work Because she says, my father always drinks His power potion before he makes love Hell yeah, Ming Hell yeah, you do

My father always fucks like a jackhammer It's amazing And again, a testament to the perfect filmmaking She's like, oh, this is a stupid plan Nothing can save me now Cut to Flash Gordon in space The Queen Song screaming flash Flash Jones

Face Jetski Or he says he's He gets on his fucking walkie-talkie And tells the Hawkman that he's Flying blind on a rocket cycle Which is the best thing to do Flying blind on a rocket cycle As some of us know more than others

Yeah, that was the name of my call of it That website Cratch.com I just got the reference What were you saying, Lenny? Oh, just while that Flash can breathe in space I guess that is a superpower Because he doesn't have a space suit Or a helmet or anything and he's just flying around out there

Yeah, they don't care at all About anything I don't think they understood Which is crazy since we had been there But I don't think they understood or cared to understand space Like, they told you that right up front With that whole space makes you sleepy We'll just rock it up there

This is like 1950s Space is like when you drop motor oil in a mud puddle That, in all directions So They now have a space war Which is Far outside the abilities of their special effects So it only makes it more awesome

Because they're like lowering these Hawk guys On to what looks like a riverboat casino party While like fireworks are going off It's so awesome If you watch any one single Hawkman During that scene Like if you pick out one to watch It's fucking hilarious

Like if none of them know how to do this at all It looks like they're trying to parallel park wings Like they're just Back in a turn Every one of them just eats shit Yeah, they're getting wrecked Just fucking picked out of the sky No chance of survival

The greatest music in the galaxy plays It's the fucking best They're having such a good time Every single one of them Both hand is just laughing and like Dive He finally lands and he's just Laughing and bonking guys

And like fucking around Shoving them off after like kind of spooking them a little I love it Then they cut to aura Helping Baron and Zarkov escape And I have a clip Because I think this really It's one of these perfect exchanges

That you can get in this film So I'll play this I know what's gonna be I haven't changed It's It's amazing Oops, it's playing again I think every single line of that

Is crazy and barely linked To the one before it It seems like the kind of scene where Timothy Dalton should be like, I don't want to act against This beautiful idiot who barely speaks my language But he is kind of getting He's getting outperformed And then Topol is just like

Okay, you guys do your thing I will talk about the Zenith sequence It's just, I love it It's so fucking weird Well, and just like them having to remind everyone That their characters have grown Because it didn't really happen So they just have to say, I've changed

I have grown I feel like I'm at the end of an arc right now I'm standing at the end of a large arc I will now return To where I was at the beginning of this movie Having changed So, now Flash Gordon Is in a Kamikaze

Rocket ship, he's going to just fly straight Into the wedding, he knows there's a wedding Happening, because he turns on Like the broadcast frequency And he can hear like an electric guitar version Of Here Comes the Bride, which they have in space I'm fine with that, yes I love that electric guitar version

I wish I'd walked down the aisle to that shit His entire wedding is incredible With the armored dwarves and the beautiful Trans models dressed like feathered chess pieces Well, fucking Electric guitars just roar It's so hot This is how Eddie Van Halen got married

Yes, the plane has The little banner that says Everyone will be Mary or else I have that in my notes, it says All creatures will make Mary And then the next banner says Under Pain of Death And I love that, his daughter is there

Chained to her like little person slave And she's in a silver pasties gown Like being dragged around by her neck At the wedding, it's so much And everyone's having such a good time Like, not just the actors But like, you can tell whoever made this Scene is just this fucking rules

Every bit of this rules Flash decides to stay on the ship Because he thinks it needs a pilot He's like, Voltaan, it's never gonna Hit the right spot unless someone's piloting He's like, Flash Gordon, you don't even know How this fucking ship works, just come with me I'll carry you, he's like, no dude

I'm gonna die here, and he screams That must be one hell of a planet Your men come from Do you remember what he says, Liddy? No, I don't He goes, not too bad Anyway I like that this is the second

The second time they've allowed Flash to plan something And those plans have been gather a bunch of curtains And jump off into death like a loony tune Or Drive the ship into the force field and die A second plane crash Because he's so good at plane crashes

Yeah, this is true, that's a character arc He learned how to crash a plane earlier And now it's paying off There's more close-ups of hot guys just getting Annihilated by space lasers So Baron and Zarkov are in the palace They've broken in, they're trying to

Shut down the force field so Flash Gordon Actually Explodes against the wedding rather than Explodes meaninglessly against the force field Zarkov's like Let's grab the goggles off this guy's head There's a whole bunch of guys at like a board table A board room meeting

He pulls off the goggles like, hey, we'll use this To fucking look around And the dude explodes And then every single other guy is on a circuit So they start exploding, he just fucking kills A whole meeting room Well, and they look at the camera And their eyes are just full of wires

And I was like, I love that this was like Never explained, never foreshadowed Makes no sense at all, it's just like Would this look so cool if this happened Yes, okay, it's in the movie He genuinely means no harm He just pulls the goggles like, I'm just going to take this guy's gun Oh my god, I killed 12 people

Well, fuck them So the doors are They're Star Wars, so if you shoot them, they open So they have a bit of that where They're blown open the doors There's a great gunfight where I think it was Zarkov, or maybe it was Timothy Dalton Who shoots one of the guards

And he let out like this crazy curl monster Scream where he's like, wow And so, he's there with his buddy And he dies, and his buddy looks down He's like, oh my god, did something happen to this guy? He's like screaming and dying And while he's ducks down checking on his friend They shoot at him again and miss

And hit the wall behind him, and he gets up and he checks that He's like, what the fuck was, did he hit just the wall behind me? So I thought like that's the You didn't have to make that funny, but they did So I just, I love it The wedding vows, we kept Back to the wedding, they're pretty grim vows

He's like, Ming Do you promise to mangle her and smash her? Maybe not So blast her into space, and Ming's like Did you just say not blast her into space? And the priest is like, oh, and I'll until you grow weary Of her, of course, great Ming, please kill her Which is like, what's the point of a wedding?

Why is he doing this? Like, she was his concubine before And he was fine with having sex with her when she was just a concubine But now he's like, I'm going to marry her Did he just want to have a party? I think it's because she's the most trouble out of all his concubines He's like, I love this girl, she keeps escaping and killing guards He enjoys the chaos

At this point, I would like to raise that They can see the flash Gordon ship In the background of the wedding Like coming straight at them on fire Clearly about to explode Nobody knows that that's not just like another awesome Part of this fucking kick-ass party So I can forgive them not minding it

But let's take a moment and appreciate that Flash's plan Is to crash the ship into the wedding And kill everybody To rescue Dale Who is certainly going to be exploded Along with everybody else She is literally touching his primary target

Yes Directly the closest person To the explosion of the ship Flash tries Flash In classic horny flash Gordon It's just a series of penetrations He's like penetrating the laser field

To penetrate the force field To penetrate Ming And he does, he hits Ming directly in the center Of his chest With the pointy part of the rocket ship The very phallic rocket ship It's just fucking perfect I love that he flew like 800 miles

Through space Like a thrown dart to just hit Ming Just This rocket had a destiny And it's to wind up inside your heart mother fucker And so he just pulls himself Off the pointy part of the rocket And he's like my life is not

For some earthling to give up Or take and you're like oh shit He's still got more fight in him but no No he just blinks out of existence He's dead He rainbowed himself Did he try to use the horny gring on flash To make flash horny

Oh my god that's a really interesting take on it I think that's exactly what happened It sort of made him stunned He's like I'll hit you with a sword He's like horny ring flash He's like what is this feeling What is this feeling I'm feeling But he's just too much of a nerd

I'm always horny So Ming finally vanishes And then here comes the little like Fascination bot that has like a disintegration ray Fucking nark bot Yes and then I think it was either Daenerys Archive has the idea to not move Like Jurassic Park 1 rules

Like okay I think if we don't move it won't do anything The robot waits He goes Long live flash You've saved earth Have a nice day And the flash goes yeah jumps in the air They do this great fisheye like

Haas of him jumping in the air Like pumping his fist Like at the end of a summer camp movie Like he's dunking on the robot Like yeah in your face Robot and then they freeze frame And it's just it's wonderful It's not the end of the movie

Kind of should have been the end of the movie But then they thought of a better ending And they were correct It feels like they were on page 119 Of the screenplay And Dino De Laurentiis came in and says Oh no the screenplay has to be It just has to be 120 pages

You finish it up an hour And they're like we only have room for one line Okay you saved me you have to have a nice day We could cut all these accents out So flash says yeah And then they have a big party With the hawk people there And they write

Thanks flash With their bodies in the air A lot of sky writing for a space Fairing people Now that they made such a point of it Like this is going to be Summons everybody over It's like my people have prepared something for you

And they all gaze out of this portal At this lush landscape And then like eight hawkmen spell out Thanks And then with great difficulty And 15 seconds later they rearrange to flash Behold From the spectacle

The pomp we have prepared for you The color guard is the only part of the army The middle hawkmen just died doing that Luckily Our color guard survived They were in the back all of our infantry men And riflemen they're dead But anyway

The ming's horny ring is still on the ground And then a gloved hand grabs it And an evil laugh From a familiar voice happens And the words say the end But then Question mark My favorite ending

My favorite way to end a movie is the end Question mark Little wink But it was they never made a sequel Because no one liked this movie when it came out It's like that headline rule It's like that headline rule If there's a question mark at the end of it

The answer is yes But like even if Ming weren't still alive Prince Baron announced That he was going to like take over Ming's job So I don't think Flash actually did anything Except install a new dictator We don't know if Prince Baron is actually nicer

Than Ming the merciless Like if they come back in two years It's probably going to be like Baron the beater Or something Are you forgetting the part where he says I've changed too? I am yes Really honestly makes it the perfect metaphor for America It's exactly how we would handle it

And have handled it Oh god Flash Gordon is a metaphor It's a perfect movie Now it's not a metaphor I don't disagree Flash Oh In

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