The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 86, Traxx Part 2: The Murder Of Traxx with Jason Pargin

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Brockway once again asks Detectives Seanbaby and Jason Pargin to help him solve the real murder mystery haunting the legacy of the already haunted 1988 action parody movie, Traxx. Do they get to the bottom of the case? You'll have to listen to find out! But, no!

One nine hundred One nine hundred One nine hundred One nine hundred H-O-T-D-O-G One nine hundred That night trade power In the night

It's not the size of the doll But how hard you can fight it You will survive Or maybe not When you're in the dark zone You gotta give it everything you have One nine hundred D-O-H-O-T

Oh yeah Nights It just keeps him going Joining us today is the housewife Who loves this murder shit It's Jason Parjan As we transition into hard journalism Which was a decision that was made

With some heaviness of heart That there would be no more jokes Because in this world That's not what the world needs Like that's just a lesson in people's time Making a bunch of, saying a bunch of stupid stuff Well we are America's last comedy website Someday that's gonna stop

And then there won't be anymore So this is, you know, this is the future I would love to pivot to NFTs Just float that idea here while we're all talking Tracks murder NFTs Like we could take facts of an actual murder Turn them into NFTs And then go straight to hell

I'm gonna Google murder NFTs I have some faith in humanity But it's about Let's hold on to that Okay, we'll cut all this Jamie Because this is a million dollar idea This is a twelve hundred, this is a seventeen sense idea Very quickly, here is where I would normally plug the book

That I plug every week and every podcast I'm on Because the subject matter of this episode is serious And involves a death I'm not, the book is called If this book exists, you're in the wrong universe It comes out in October I'm not going to plug it in this episode Because that would be literally trying to sell a dumb novel

On the back of this tragedy That's frankly a tragedy And every book comes with a free murder NFT Like an actual piece of bone from the investigation A digital memorabilia of a human bone Are we gonna have to cut the intro? We might, we might have to cut all of this Let's do a recap on tracks and what we're talking about

Hold on, let me introduce the theme Explain that we're part two This is part two of the track's murder And we are saying T-R-A-X-X Which is a largely forgotten 80s action movie Started in Shadow Stevens If you've not listened to that episode This is part two of our investigation

Into the murder of beloved track screenwriter Gary DeVore As Jason said, if you missed part one We'll get you back up to speed Listen to part one, it's a podcast It doesn't go bad, just go back and click that Now, if you need to know what the movie tracks T-R-A-X-X is about We do have a summary for you

Oh yeah, let me hit the theme song here You know what I think of your cookies? That's what I think of your cookies That was not the right button Double way I'll hit the theme song No, I think that's everything they need to know Oh, shit, that's cool

That's cool, we had it in Spanish This is the real one I'm done fucking around Let's just listen, it recaps all the tracks The quality is exactly what it deserves Did they cut the Z out of size? So it would rhyme with my? Because that's kind of genius

I like that all of this is just All the things you don't interact with tracks about At this point, it's just words that rhyme with Tracks Like facts? Yeah, like facts, get the facts He's like, is everyone here to have the facts? Did you get my facts?

With Robosaurus Attacks! The disproportionate amount of criminals in this movie Are blacks Hey, they are It's true I didn't write it Priscilla Barnes said clearly though That he kills one of every minority

So, and I quote, no single minority can bitch about Right, but if you kill one of every minority And then also like 15 of one particular minority I still think that's bad I don't disagree I'm just saying what Priscilla Barnes said In the hit film tracks That's true

I do want to believe her Get in a jail card We kill the white We murdered that Samoan We're in the clear That the man who wrote this film Is now tragically dead Do we really want to disparage

The work that he's remembered for? Yes I think our next That's kind of the entire premise You said that he was murdered Now, the entire reason this is such a fascinating mystery Is we don't know that for sure, right? No, we don't know that for sure

However, there is some compelling evidence Especially if I talk like this Last time, we left you with a stunning revelation That in this supposed tragic traffic accident Both of Gary DeVore's hands were missing Now, the implication was We'd start talking about that immediately Next time, this episode

Giving you the answer you've waited a week for But we're not doing that What a twist We're going to talk about that at the end of this podcast To manipulate you into listening Even if the answer is disappointing Meanwhile, you know what's worse than losing your hands In a mysterious traffic accident

Shopping for a mattress But thanks to this week's sponsor, Mattress Crate You can get a new mattress in the mail every month Just enter offer code, Handless I got a human hand in mine Mattresscrate.com for 13% off Order four mattresses, you'll get a whole human torso And help stop the crime

Did you check to see if Mattress Crate Had a real business? I know it sounds ridiculous It has to be It's got to be real We got to completely stop the podcast while I Google murder NFTs, too See if that's taken This site cannot be reached

That is an unused domain Any of us could buy Mattresscrate.com Two business ideas 10 minutes into the podcast This is paying off This is why we're pivoting away from comedy Right into true crime The natural progression

So, Gary DeVore was working on a script That would change the very nature of Hollywood And the fact that that script is missing From that accident Changes the very nature of this case Whoa, right? You see what I did with the Repeating the line there? It's pretty cool You're saying he was murdered for the script

I'm not saying that, but You're saying this script became the last Boy Scout Maybe, I still think it's tracks, too And I have some compelling evidence for that I want it to be That's my compelling evidence Now, I'm not saying that he was murdered for this script However, his friend and director, John Irvin

The director of such films as Motherfucking Raw Deal Wow Yeah, as he says in his Very stagy accent, which I will do To add prestige to this podcast Gary was troubled before the crash He was having trouble with a script he was writing

He was speaking more as a journalist Than a screenwriter He seemed worried about what he found What did he find? What could he have found? That takes me back to the movie you made, Motherfucking Raw Deal Well, I'd faked my own death To trick my wife and the drug dealers Not the voice you expect from the guy that did Raw Deal

And now, his widow, Wendy DeVore Said this, which I will also do as John Irvin He had been very disturbed Over some of the things that he had been finding In his research He was researching the United States invasion of Panama Because he was setting the actual story That he was writing against this

And the overthrow of Noriega And the enormous amounts of money laundering And the Panamanian banks Also, our own government's money laundering He was disturbed by a lot of things he discovered Including the weaponry we used The way we dealt with Panama The way we weren't trading them

And that again, that was his Banana Republics I'm not saying that I wasn't paying attention When you were going through those quotes, Brockway But Sean, how difficult would it be for Jamie To record a version of the track's theme song Where she's inserting two after every time they say tracks So that it's the theme for tracks two

That never got made She is open to a lot of very strange requests Get the facts I wonder how difficult it would be To re-record the entire song to be about this murder She did that once before She remade that Bruce Willis song I wrote Yeah, let's not put that on her

Let's not put that kind of evil on her I think she deserves better We're taking that down with us Now, it's important what the script was about So nobody has the final version But the first early draft of the script was leaked And it tells the story Of American operatives in Panama

Who are robbing a bank But it's really just a cover-up For something bigger Something more sinister And DeVore did a ton of research on this And he was sure that General Manuel Noriega Had used sort of his

Like a honey trap to compile Sex tapes of top-ranking U.S. officials In his home, co-boarding with alcohol drugs Beautiful men, beautiful women Often underage And covertly filming their antics For blackmail purposes And you might recognize that as the exact same

Conspiracy theory That every lunatic believes about everything Yeah, we had to hear about that Stupid p-tape conspiracy for what I have pretty sure there's some pizza places We're not getting into that Documentary It just makes a common sense

That you could honeypot someone in And film them covertly It just seems like such an easy thing to do And think of all the sexual mistakes We've all made in our lives And how easy that was For all of us to fall into Without the power of government behind it

Like if someone just sent a whole bunch of hot girls At you like for the entire week Like you'd fuck one of them I think that's a reality show Yeah, you're right For listeners who just only are listening To these two episodes And this is your first exposure to the dog zone

And you only came for the true crime Like if you're a true crime enthusiast housewife What if that happens? There's a dynamic where sometimes The subject of sex comes up Sean will throw out an example of what he believes Is common for everyone In their lives

You could stand by every sexual decision you've ever made Is what you're saying But that in reality is more Is more specific to him And that he just assumes that we've all lived the same We've all lived the same life So I'm just saying that If that comes up in the rest

Later in the episode I just want that understood If people throw out a suggestion Then none of us will chime in to like Yeah, that's right When enough hot women throw themselves at you You eventually are going to succumb That's just what's going to happen

Reminds me of 5th grade I don't think Sean is always Unreasonable with his sexual escapades I do think I don't have Like a panty trophy case To remove all of my sexual escapades So like there's a layer of

Relatability that just goes missing I think towards the end So if you could just like stop Before the trophy case part You have those Panamanian blackmail tapes Which is like a real Like a kind of a trophy case That's like a panty trophy

Let's put it this way Friends, again I realize most of you Don't know anything about me personally If I travel to a foreign country Totally threw herself at me Just like come on let's go I would just laugh in her face It's like okay what's the honeypot

Are you robbing me? Like there would not be one second Where I would think oh wow man this is great She's really into me I would just immediately ask her Okay what's the scam I don't have any information Are you trying to steal a copy of my novel

Do you somehow know who I am Are you A deep A deep conspiracy that you have in your own brain Yeah That's literally the only valuable thing I'm traveling with Throwing this woman through a fish tank

He's like ah you're onto your tricks You'll never get my book But anyway I'm sorry I have derailed this right To say that but Yes it is worth saying As far as conspiracy theories go That there is like

Compromising material on Donald Trump or whoever Like having sex with underage sex workers Whatever much easier to believe Than Almost any other conspiracy theory Including some that turned out to be true It's not like this is

This is like fake the moon landing Level of conspiracy thinking Hollower theory is pretty good It all ends up when you think about it How else do you explain the sounds And the lizard people Like have you ever tried to drum on the earth You get a good sound out of it couldn't do that

Alright getting back on track Checkmate God Documentarian and possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alfred Says that a former White House official From the Reagan Bush era Confirmed that DeVore himself Worked with the CIA and visited

Central American countries often Including Panama Now Wendy backs this up She believes that when DeVore said he was going to scout locations For a movie shoot he was really Doing something related to the intelligence Community

Now just days After Gary's death Wendy says that unidentified government Agents who I guess Are partially identified huh They showed up at Gary's house After he disappeared and deleted Everything about the script from his computer

Then went through the house and pulled anything That could tie them together So the conspiracy here is that The script was so Like good And powerful that it would have taken down Like Noriega's Now on the last episode he did say

That it was the hardest hitting script Hollywood Would ever have seen And he figured out something in his research That he believed put him in danger And early drafts of the script Were about this honeypot scam Where American officials Went to general Noriega's

Home And banged their way straight through it From basement to attic But to be clear Instead of going to the New York Times And saying hey I'm a screenwriter But In the process of researching a script

I actually stumbled across a legit Like story of the century I want to write this up Instead he said I want to do a screenplay And then spend years trying to get it produced And turn it to a movie This is how I will deliver the story

To the people Yes and also I'm the guy that wrote tracks Tracks Yeah and there's a real good chance You don't have to tell me that sir There's a real good chance that Shadow Stevens Would be playing I don't know who the

80s era Noriega Which in that era They would not have thought twice about that Oh no just give him a spray tan Die his hair back That's what it would sound like That is exactly what it would sound like

Now as unlikely as it seems There is some truth to this Devoord provably did some work Some kind of possibly consulting Work or research At Air Force Base Area 52 Which If I understand military classification

Means that's one more Secret than Area 51 The Area 52 Is that a joke Or is that not a joke? That's not a joke, that's an area It's named 52 One better than 51

Now Devoord also knew Chase Brandon That's the man who headed up CIA's Hollywood Affairs Office at the time Mostly what they did Was they assisted movie productions With research So they could have some

Measure of control over how the CIA Was depicted in those movies Now Chase Brandon That's Tommy Lee Jones' cousin Which I mentioned Not because it's Relevant to any part of this story But because it's pretty weird right?

Yeah also wasn't Tommy Lee Jones Al Gore's roommate in college Tommy Lee Jones Was up to some shit That's coming together Now let's do some more weird shit Chase Brandon What was his real name?

Clearly that's not Why are you calling him Chase Brandon That's not something a person does name Real name Area 53 Clone Alpha 4 His real name was Lee Tommy Jones And he was just like Tommy Lee Jones

In a mustache Double mustache sometimes Chase Brandon actually Went so far as to write one script The recruit Only his writing partner Roger Town Is credited But notes and emails from Brandon

Confirm he did much of the work The recruit would later see script Doctoring by none other Than hot dog Kimbo Kurt Wimmer Right? Kurt Wimmer The name doesn't ring a bell Waiting for that to blow your minds

It's like It's like Kurt Wimmer Isn't important to anybody but me But that can't be right That's not the karate rap guy is it No that's Sensei Dave Seeger Kurt Wimmer Is the writer of Equilibrium

And just a beautiful innocent man child Who I've brought up Several times on the podcast And did exactly what I did here Which is I wait for your mind to be blown Who's that? It's almost suspicious There's some sort of a

Mind control attached to Kurt Wimmer To help us not remember his name Well there it might be Because Chase Brandon Would later go on to confirm The existence of aliens And Area 51 Now you thought I was fucking around

About Area 52 That's because I was but the alien thing's real He went on To say And I quote It was not a damn weather balloon It was what it was built when people first reported it It was a craft that clearly did not come from this planet

It crashed and I don't doubt for a second That the use of the word remains in cadavers Was exactly what people were talking about One day I was looking around And reading some of the titles That were mostly hand scribbled summations Of what was in some boxes And there was one box that really caught my eye

It had a word on it It had a box down Lifted the lid up Rummaged around inside it Put the box back on the shelf And said My God It really happened

He stuck his hand in some alien debris And then put it back And he didn't say like That was all kinds of All manner of space what's it's in Dildos, star butt plugs And then I put them all back And it was a swimmer

Who? Damn it Now you're clearly tantalized What was in that box and he says Some written material Some photographs That's all I will ever say to anybody About the contents of that box

At this point you're like Hey I was in this place I looked through all the secret documents Aliens are real but I can't tell you anymore about that You're like You've done the thing that will get you assassinated right? You're already like Oh yeah I know all the secrets

It's like well they're not going to leave you alive Based on your reluctance to tell people They're just going to assume Based on how coy you were about it My imagination is very limited Aliens are real and I found a box that proves it But I never really thought up what was in it So that's the secret part

I'm sure you believe me There actually is a very good reason He doesn't go into more detail He will later write A science fiction novel Just one about alien cover-ups So I guess he did have more to say about it But it was fiction?

Yes build is science fiction Although it is the man Who says I have seen aliens personally And know all about the cover-ups and then he writes a book about it So I assume he's hoping The press sells his book Again for a very long time This man was the sole

The head of the department Almost solely responsible for the CIA's influence over Hollywood Which was a real thing They would control how they were depicted In movies in exchange for access to resources Sets equipment All sorts of things I'll joking aside

Do you listeners know that he's not joking about that And that's not even like a conspiracy theory No that's how it works And not just with the CIA But with the military With the NASA, the Department of Defense And that office in Hollywood The reason Top Gun Maverick

Looks so good is because They had access to real F-18s From the military And the reason they had that access Is because they worked hand and glove with them To make it like they Literally get to approve the script Yeah

Tell them who's put the glove box in that F-18 And found things from the stars That he will not tell anyone about The sole guy in charge of every single one Has seen aliens personally They don't want to talk about that But it's true Anyway, back to Gary DeVore

And his possibly alien Government connections Wendy says when she first moved in With Gary, he warned her To expect suspicious calls At all hours of the night from the U.S. Government But he told her, don't worry about him

It'll be okay So she didn't They're here to treat the windows But they're from the aliens The calls would come Infrequently at first Just one or two over a few years But there was a flurry of them right before he died

Now, did she hear those calls? She doesn't say Did she take Gary's word for it That it was the CIA? Probably So what was going on? Was Gary okay? No He died in an

Unreduct It sounds like Gary was the victim Of a vast government conspiracy But Gary's ex-wife, Claudia Christian Who you remember as Commander Ivanova from Babylon 5 Which was like Star Trek but with worse haircuts

I don't But I'll take your word for it Oh, you're about to Claudia Christian is hot dog as fuck She starred in Arena Which was Bloodsport with Aliens It was an amazing movie but I would argue Not as amazing as it should have been

For being Bloodsport with Aliens It was like 80% Not Bloodsport with Aliens A perfect idea 60% execution She was the lady in that She was also in Maniac Cop 2 She was the doctor

From the barbarian brothers Think big, that's our very next podcast Did I plan it that way? No, I'm not that smart To the suspicious coincidences It's going to be a big box Okay, I'm sorry I'm sorry to keep

Just talking directly to the listener I know this is bad podcasting You guys, just looking right in the camera I've made it so that They, Brock Way and Sean Can't hear me, I'm just talking directly to you right now My whole premise of being on this Two-part true crime podcast episode

Was that the Screenwriter behind this extremely corny movie Tracks died under weird circumstances That there was a whole conspiracy theory Around it that never gets discussed Like this is just Brock Way Had spent months researching it As I'm sitting here listening to it

There are far more weird Connections to this website Than anything else Like the fact that this guy His entire inner circle that was in on this Whatever secret and this Strange behavior, it's all like Stuff that's been covered on this podcast

You have no idea How deep we're about to get into that Between this death and 1900 hot dog Than any other single entity I'm presenting this When I did this research as the unified Hot dog theory of everything

It's connected to every part of our site And it may explain Everything about ourselves as people Yeah, at least explains these two human hands I have in my office They just came to you From some ebay bid On like a teddy book

Oh, two hands on Swarai I thought they had a Librium guy left him here What's his name? Caleb Swanson? Caleb Swimmer? Nailed it, perfect Claudia Christian implies that Gary was kind of a conspiracy nut from the start Now I'm going to pause And wait for your shocked gasps

Very good Now, even though he worked with the US government He was very distrustful of anybody Associated with the government in any way Which leads me to think He probably shouldn't have been working for them This is actually It's just called the Republican, I'm sorry

It's true, he gives big Republican vibes Now, this is a perfect time To pause and focus On a different, no less important Part of this conspiracy case Gary DeVore Fucks Oh, yes

And what's more Gary DeVore Fucked his way through the entire Back catalogue of 1900 hot dog What? He went out with season hubbly Who you remember as the love interest Of Robosaurus in Steel Justice

Now In the Steel Justice podcast Sean, I told you something, what did I tell you? Oh my god, so much You told me you loved me But you really caveated that It really made it to that point Only if it's returned

Right About season, I don't remember what you told me about season I told you season hubbly, Fox, and I could prove it And I just didn't Of course, sure, yeah, yeah Gary also went out with Patricia Barnes The mayor from Trax who orgasms at the site of criminals Not too bad for a Gary

He was married to Nat King Cole's widow Which doesn't have anything to do with us But it's kind of weird He also dated Janet Jackson Who he almost certainly called Mrs. Jackson Because Gary DeVore He was nasty We should have all said that

At the same time We basically timed The joke completely differently Because we're all pros We are That wasn't planned That horribly We timed nasty

I've heard that song It was because there was only one way For that sentence to end Now, does that make all of these Women suspects in the case? Absolutely Please keep them in mind going forward It's entirely possible that Janet Jackson

Did this murder It might implicate the entire rhythm nation But first let's review The last call Gary DeVore made to his wife Wendy Going missing She finds it very unsettling Here's how she says it went

Gary, was that you trying to call me, sweetie? Wendy, who else would it be At one o'clock in the morning? Gary, suspicious silence Wendy, where are you? Gary, I'm past Barstow Wendy, oh you'll be home In three or four hours

Gary, something like that Wendy, well, I'll tell you what Gary, don't do that Wendy, well You know you'll want to take a shower You've been driving a long time We'll take a shower together Gary, whatever

Wendy, are you Wendy, are you tired or something? Gary, no, I'm pumping pure adrenaline here Now, Wendy says He did not say he loved her before he hung up Something he would always do She further insists That call was deleted from the phone records

Because there is no trace of it We have spent a good amount of time Arguably too much time Establishing that Gary DeVore Likes to fuck I ask you, does that transcript Sound like a man who fucks? Oh, absolutely not

Even if you didn't like her You'd be like, ooh, shower, hey You know what, his response was Hurtful almost Whatever Whatever is the offer to shower together Whatever That man, whoever that man was on the phone

He did not like to fuck It could not have been Gary DeVore Couldn't have been him Now, let's jump back to the missing script that would change the world It was set against The backdrop of secret pedophilia rings In 1980s Panama And it was almost definitely going to star

Shadow Stevens, as Jason says Uh, it was also A remake of a 1949 movie Called The Big Steel Now, that's a movie about a man Who sets up his own mysterious disappearance Gary's publicist, Michael Sands Believes Gary may have been

Too into the headspace of his own main character That's what he said in an early interview He floated the theory That Gary DeVore lost the line between Reality and fiction But he changed his story In a later documentary The Writer With No Hands

A documentary by possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alfred In that documentary, Michael Sands comes across dodgy and invasive In his one On-camera interview He has like an agenda He mostly just kind of looks through

Alfred's research Then he gets an idea and he runs In the back room to bring out his own folder Can you guess what's inside? You can't, but try We're both going to say It's a pair of severed hands Yeah, he's got hands in the folder

An excellent guess And that would be the case over No, it's full of headshots From the time he was a model Oh, beautiful For the government A government model That's what he said

I'm sorry, just very, very quickly What's the name of this documentary again The Writer With No Hands And that's not a joke you made up Because when you said that I thought you were making a joke No, it's the name of a book It's the name of two movies they tried

Making about this I've read and seen both It might be a joke But I don't know that they realize that It's at least wordplay They're trying to be clever But in it God, this is so fucked up

And no one knows about this Except you I might be the only person who has ever watched any of it Yes They made a book and two movies about it Yes The documentaries In part deal with

This case and the weird inconsistencies Of it But a lot of the focus is also On what a netbag Matthew Ulford is for caring So much about this For me, I feel a lot for him I understand where he's coming from

And maybe the only one I love you You are, Liz Well, because just to level With everyone here The guy did die in a strange In a weird way And there's weirdness around how he died

So that part is true So then you're surrounded with all these people Who either are motivated To make his Sound much bigger than it was Or There's some I don't know he himself was paranoid

And actually did think the conspiracy was real And that caused him to There's something weird About it one way or the other It's just that You have some people who insist It's UFOs or whatever It might be

We've introduced the possibility of UFOs Now, let's jump back To Michael Sands Model for the government I don't know what that means They just looked like happy headshots But he insisted he traveled the world Modeling for the government

He's just like shirtless in a tank Just popping out the top I guess so He holds up to one hunk Trying to sell it to housewives Maybe Anyway, Dr. Matthew Ulford leaves that interview Confused and unhappy as we all would

But at the end Just as he gets in the elevator Sands calls him back to talk quickly off camera And says he will help He knows what's going on Can't talk now, but he's going to have answers In three weeks Two weeks later

He would be dead Choked to death In a grocery store On a free deli sample Of mystery meat Mystery meat? He got a free sample Of mystery meat

Did the kid Doing the samples get fired? It seems like you can't be worse at your job Than handing out samples and killing a customer Who? Brandon Chase? Did Brandon Chase get fired? The man handing out the... No, that was not...

Tommy Lee Jones Was there an autopsy? Did they verify that this was just An ordinary grocery store choking? Or was there something in the mystery meat? They did not Do any further research into that That I could see

It's hard to turn up things about this And because it's hard, I don't want to do it So I didn't But everybody seems to agree That that's just what happened All the obituaries and news reports say He choked to death in a grocery store All these fucking alien freaks

Decided that choking to death on mystery meat In a grocery store is a normal thing to do Well, the actual newspapers decided that I don't know what the alien freaks decided to do They found it very suspicious If you've had free samples at a grocery store They're never giving you a full Kilbasa

It's like a little thing with a toothpick It's a little hunk of a Tukito or something Could it be That he horked the toothpick? Well, again, I'm going to say You have to be very bad at eating food To die that way

Like, you would be laying on the floor Thinking Is this really how I'm going to die? You'd be so crazy, man After everything I've survived In my life, after all of my After the adventurous The sexual lifestyle I've lived

All these years, is this really going to be The thing that takes Me down? My experiences as a government model around the world Did not prepare me To choke down some mystery meat I don't want to be irreverent When speaking about the dead, but is it possible

He wrapped the mystery meat around his neck While he was masturbating and this is like The spin on that story? Well, he did go very publicly He died right there in the deli So a lot of people saw it So yes, the answer is yes None of them thought to like

Pull the food out of his throat They just watched a man die On free meat Maybe he thought the meat really sucked This guy is such a drama queen Look at him Turning blue Sans's death

Was a huge setback to the case But the trail did not go cold For possible lunatic, Dr. Matthew Alford He still had a man named Frank Thorwald A former government official With the highest possible Level of security clearance Now, he looked into this case

At the time and found Nothing But years later He became seriously ill And Dr. Matthew Al- I'm sorry, possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alford Was hopeful that because of the diagnosis

He was ready to get something off of his chest And he was Frank tells the story of the time he called the CIA And spoke to somebody About Gary's disappearance And how the man said I can't help you He said

This all lines up A great story for Frank Thorwald To tell But at the very end, something strange happened The man on the phone told Frank To go look at a sweet website He found Now, Frank

Always looking for sweet new websites Visited it And found it was a porn site The kind of site that In his words Seems like there could have been But I did not see Child pornography on it

He goes on to explain I have a question So what does that mean Like you go on a porn site And it's just so badly made You're like, man, I bet if I click something wrong there's kids Are there pictures of kids with clothes on And it's like, hey, welcome to the site

How did you find this I've been to a lot of websites I've never once in my entire life All the dark things I've seen on the internet I bet somewhere on this website There's child pornography It means This is what a person would say

If they saw child pornography on their computer And knew that just having that on their computer Was a crime So they would say Well, I went to the part of this child porn site That did not have any child porn on it But I could sniff That there was some nearby

But I did not look at it It never appeared in my browser cache Which would be illegal I just wanted to pretend his lie was real To demonstrate how ridiculous it was We all know what this guy did And his cover story Is still alive

To sue us If so, we're not claiming to know anything He went to a child porn website I'll claim it Or Another possibility I can't remember all these names Frank Thorwald

Now, he explains that it's a standard tactic Once you have child porn on your computer You're a pedophile It's a way to get leverage on people So this man casually tossed out Hey, here's some leverage on you And Frank, expert level The highest possible security clearance

I was like Hey, sweet, I'll check out that website You just thought he found a top secret bro Trying to share a nice bang And now found himself Compromise Or, as Jason's theory, maybe He just went to a bad website and was like

This is my chance to explain that In case somebody checks my history This is actually a real thing I have a lot of dark books That I don't usually write about Anarchist cookbooks, sort of type books Where it's like, here's how you make a bomb Here's how you destroy a person

How to trick your enemies Into getting Illicit materials on their Computer that you can get arrested for So It's a pretty standard tactic to destroy your enemy To get child pornography onto their computer Yeah, and that's what he says

The guy told him to go to Compromat.com And he was like, Compromat Is that C or K? Compromat.com Oh, no! My top secret clearance Hey Now that we're done making fun of this dead man

A possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alfred's sources Were being Discredited or disappearing left and right It seemed like he was getting closer to a smoking gun Close to the truth And yet eagle-eared listeners May have noticed I always preface

His name with the phrase possible lunatic That's because Dr. Matthew Alfred It's possibly a lunatic The writer with no hands Or that Now the writer with no hands The documentary he spent years in a fortune making It cost him his marriage

It cost him his job and his whole life And it ends with him Dressed in a clown costume In which he heavily implies That the CIA threatened him into wearing it So that he could fully discredit himself And the entire movie The last shot of that movie

Is of possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alfred Juggling in full clown regalia In front of a fake castle What the fuck How is this not the most popular movie That's ever been? It's gonna be

It's stupid all the way down Stupid eating its own tail The stupid cannot hold The stupid falls apart It's the perfect mystery for the screenwriter of tracks The perfect stupid movie But there's something How many potentially

Crazy people have we heard from So far? Where the things they say are either Implausible or extremely Like conspiracy type How many separate conspiracy Weirdos have we encountered So far in the story?

All of them Every name mentioned so far Tommy Lee Jones is grosser Who killed that guy with a meat Yes, even the normal ones Have veered off to mention their Compromised child porn sites And their alien abductions

Yeah, that's because every time you introduce Somebody within a couple of paragraphs You were talking about how Well, then they started ranting about Like you're almost telling the story Of like a contagion Of madness that spread through the social circle The specific social circle of the content

Of 1900 hot dog Yes, there's some sort of mental virus That has spread through everybody involved In creating it Doesn't surprise me at all There's something else to this case Something I mentioned at the end of the first podcast To pique your interest

And then explained how I wasn't going to mention it again Until right now as a cheap trick To keep you fully invested When Gary DeVore was found a full year later In a spot that had already been Searched by a man With a near psychic premonition Of the crash

When he was finally found As if specifically to end a search That was not being dropped Gary DeVore was missing Both hands What a cliffhanger to end on Oh wait, you already knew about the hand thing Sorry, we'll keep going

Do you know why he was missing both hands? He had no Go ahead and guess, he won't get it Okay Maybe that guy That was doing modeling for the government Wanted to do hand modeling But had ugly hands

And he said Gary DeVore, those hands are beautiful hands He took them Also, hands where you keep your fingerprints Maybe it was just as simple as that They just didn't want anyone to identify the body Because it's not Gary DeVore And it was a fake corpse Placed there to

Let Gary DeVore Go back to Panama To Do a sexual heist Now you get partial credit Gary's pinky had been broken And never healed A uniquely identifying deformity

That's why they think They took his hands The sheriff's office did find Quote unquote, some hand bones In the water I don't know why that makes me laugh But it always does The number of hand bones varies

And when dated, some were found To be over 200 years old Was Gary a hand Highlander? I thought you were gonna Stuck On murder

He stuck his hands into a time portal That's another possibility The rest of his body stayed in the present But his hands were zapped 200 years Into the past By Tommy Lee Jones' cousin An alien Now, he could have been

An ancient being Who could only be killed by cutting off his hands And absorbing the wrist quickening It's just as likely as anything else But there's an even likelier option No matter how unlikely it might seem Let's look At Gary's filmography

Certainly his most successful credit Is Raw Deal Movie about Arnold Schwarzenegger On the mafia By faking his own death Because all things are hot dog Tom Reiman already wrote About how he does that

By exploding an entire fuel depot Faking his own death in literally the most High profile and ridiculous way possible Guaranteed to make national news A stupid, hilarious way To do something as secretive As faking your own death Does that sound familiar?

It does sound Like someone choking to death on a mystery Meet In an explosive way Conversationally Similar Stop everything, you gotta hear this Right

If you want to disappear forever You just guaranteed you got your Face put on the news for the next Two weeks at least By making just one hell of a story It's just exactly what Gary DeVore would have done with this He was on

America's Most Wanted They're doing crazy Documentaries, it would be the worst idea But, how about this Faking a high profile Death was also a pivotal plot point In his remake of The Big Steel And here's some other

Gary DeVore movies The Relic That's the one where Tom Sizemore fights An Aztec god beast And it rules Where Van Damme fights Where Van Damme fights An entire hockey game

He fights a woman in a penguin costume In that movie and slowly Beats the shit out of her to death That's Gary DeVore That's more unpleasant Than winding up handless In a watery grave Now slowly murdering a woman in a penguin costume

That's a stupid battle Much like a lone screenwriter taking on the US government He also did Rewrites on He also did rewrites on Passenger 57 Did Gary DeVore write the best Line in movie history?

Always bet on black? It's impossible to know since I didn't check But yes, where is They left to go after writing that line But down, it's the kind of line You'd be tempted to fake your own death Just to escape his shadow That had to have been a Wesley Snipes ad-lib

Like when Blade goes Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate a pill You're like, what, Blade would never say that Wesley Yeah, but Keep it in the book Some background, that line about the ice skating Not to take us off the tracks here

But the line about ice skating That was not a line that Wesley Snipes came up with For the movie Blade That was a thing he frequently said In conversation And screenwriter David Goyer Overheard him say it so he put it in the movie Okay, that's the exact same

Story behind always bet on black In passenger 57 That's gotta be, that has to be Gary DeVore overheard him say Just constantly saying always bet on black Like at the craft surface of this table Because otherwise A white screenwriter writing that

For your black Protagonist is almost Almost a hate crime And then you go to the setup for it It's so clumsy, he's like, hey, do you play roulette He's like talking to the dude on the airplane phone And he's like On occasion, like he can't sense that he's being

Set up for some awesome line, he's like Now they mentioned that he should have enjoyed roulette Let's see where it's going, could be fun Yeah It's so shoehorned in Another also always betting on black Not a solid strategy for roulette Right?

He's like, I don't get it Well, because I'm black, oh, see You're not here, I don't really think about People in terms of things like that So always bet on black You're saying you're gonna lose eventually Is that 50-50 shot of winning this movie

Am I thinking too much about it Another uncredited Davor rewrite Time cop, he did Uncredited rewrites on time cop He does his heroism anonymously Almost like he doesn't want to be seen Doesn't want to be found

And then Speaking of 1900 hot dog links Is it gonna sound made up, but my daughter's Middle name is actually time cop My God Do you see how deep this goes? It's not, the government has that on a On a fucking social security guard

Government has that Very briefly, Sean I'm sure you've brought this up on the podcast before Have there been any difficulties When you have to communicate with Officials and like school registration People or whatever Preschool or whoever

Whatever bureaucracies you have to talk to Do they get confused By the middle name I think people just assume I'm awesome I think they just like see the middle name And they're like, yeah, that makes sense Excuse me sir, do you kick ass? Totally kick ass

It's all adds up, yes They just think we're doing a bit still They do not realize her middle name is actually Time cop Has anybody tried to Between our website and this murder mystery Teemo copay Teemo cop

They'd be so scared By saying time cop They understood the most offensive thing possible That's the one thing it can't be Is that like a Nez purse name? No, it's from the fucking HitFilm time cop And then finally There's Showdown Little Tokyo with Dolph Lundgren

And Brandon Lee I was going to say the line I know you're going to say it No, you say the line You have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man That's the movie with the line You have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man Now that's also the movie

About Dolph Lundgren being A super weave Who impales a Yakuza Like a mandart to hit a bullseye On a firework wheel Which lights up, spinning him Ever faster and faster as he dies Screaming in an explosion of fireworks

For like about three minutes What do all of these movies Have in common? They kick ass, just like faking your own death You're right, it all Is linked together Through the lens of kick ass I do know there's another possibility

Maybe I'm too close to this Maybe I've been working On this joke premise For over a year Since episode 12 of The Dog Zone 9000 When David Bell mentioned the murder Just in passing And I joked we should do a mystery solving series

Called Hot Dog Nights Maybe that's me, maybe I seeded Gary DeVore properties throughout the site Just to make the connections in this case seem weirder Maybe I named Sean's kid Now, more unlikely Shit Maybe you're Tommy Lee Jones

Maybe I'm Brandon Chase Brandon Chase Brandon Alien CIA operative Now, maybe I commissioned The Hot Dog Nights theme song months ago For seemingly no reason Badass song and we rarely use it

All for this Maybe this is just trying to justify My crippling theme song addiction It's real and crippling But Maybe I found it The unifying theory of Hot Dog The one thread that links everything we're all about

Time cop, tracks, raw deal Hollywood himbo Cartweimer Court Billy Steel Justice The Rhythm Nation Think big, Robosaurus is season Hubbly

John Irvin, remember that guy With his stodgy accent That lent prestige to this podcast Yes, of course He also directed The Running Man Holy shit It's all here, this is it Gary DeVore set Hot Dog in motion 40 years ago

And he left behind all the clues To solving the mystery of his disappearance Hidden in goofy movies Nobody would take seriously Except for comedians Possible lunatic Dr. Matthew Alford He was trying to tell us

Look to the clowns Maybe Maybe the cookie vigilante movie track So integral to our Hot Dog community Is actually a stepping stone Into a vast conspiracy Of governmental media control One full of unjust wars, pedophilia and murder

A conspiracy whose truths Could unravel the entire fabric Of western society Maybe that's it But even if it's not Isn't there some value In thinking critically about police cold cases Even if they have nothing to do with you

Isn't it acceptable Maybe even beneficial to society Maybe even heroic To use real tragedies For entertainment podcasts Isn't it worthwhile to ask these questions Purely for the sake of questioning To get your brain grappling

With the details of an obscure potential murder Much like Jake the Snake Roberts Might grapple with an obscure potential murderer Isn't it worth it to consider for just a few hours That the truth might be something far more complex And sinister than it seems The answer to all these questions Is no

I'm sorry, I wasn't really going anywhere with this Frankfort Podcast Correct The craft is not trapped It's not without Send it to the dogs For an hour Come on, you can do it

One hundred One hundred, Frankfort One new and new One hundred, Frankfort One hundred One new and new One new and new One hundred, Frankfort

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One hundred, Frankfort Mike Stiles, also called Stile Mike Moju, sworn enemy of Stile Mike Indeed, sworn enemy of Stile Mike Neil Bailey, sworn enemy of

Let's just assume, if not explicitly called out Everyone is a sworn enemy of Stile Mike Neil Schaefer, Nick Ralston Nick H Ozzie Olin thinks Stile Mike is just okay Patrick Herbst, Rayne Vargas

Breannan Sarkovsky, spotty reception Ted H, the H stands for I hate you, Stile Mike Timi Lehi, Toastie God Tom Secula, Tommy G Whalen Russell Currently seeking a sworn enemy

Inquire within Yossarian and Brandon Garlock Universally beloved with no known enemies Except for insulin resistance I'll see you in the Battlesphere Insulin Resistance