The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 9, Hey What The Fuck Heathcliff?

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

Seanbaby and Brockway are honored with the presence of voice actress Fryda Wolff, who helps them uncover the sinister, decades-long mystery hidden in the Heathcliff comic strip.

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the dog zone. Nine thousand. I'm TV's Sean baby from the internet and with me is a legendary cracked editor Robert Brockway. Say hello please.

Hello. Happy to be here as always. Thanks for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure and our special guest today. You probably will recognize her voice from something. She is an old friend of mine and now is a very

ubiquitous voice actress Frida Wolf. Oh hi. I'm also from the internet and now video games and animated series and wherever they hire me. That's a really funny thing too when you tell people I'm a voice actor and they're like oh like for what?

And it's like whatever they give me money for. Right. But no you have like some legitimate credits. I mean cyberpunk 2077. They're all legitimate if the check. They're all legitimate if the check clears and though like cyberpunk I have well cyberpunk has

like 800 actors doing 18 different parts because it's a giant world so a bunch of bit parts there but like oh like guardians I got to be I got to be Rockets girlfriend I got to be an otter. That's right. Is that the only anthropomorphic animal I've been?

I think that's the only furry animal. I think you are a you are a bug snack that's probably got to count. I've been more anthropomorphic animals than that. What are you doing? You know that like I said it's not up to me it's whatever they pay me for maybe just anthropomorphs

is not you know what I what I make people think of it's not my typecast. I do live my life as an elephant seal most of the day. That's something. Is that anything? I don't know. Like I'm trying to like find a common ground

between your career and mine and I think that's it. The times I pretend to be an elephant seal is it's not unlike what you do. You're both sealkin. We get it. Sealkin. Jesus. That's that's a tumble throwback.

Do they even do kins anymore? I don't know. We have we have video games like we met. I don't know. I don't have any idea. Any idea. Well we met. Do you remember?

Do you remember how we met? I do. It's time for my favorite thing. God it was back in the early 2000s and I think we were at Comic Con I imagine. Oh wow. You are you are definitely a heterosis male. I have photos.

No. We met because you showed up. We had the EverQuest to launch party in San Francisco and you were invited probably to cover it for one up or whatever and I was there. Right. And I went up to you directly because my otaku nerd friends in high school were like,

Oh my God. Have you seen this website? John baby and fat girls and party hats and all this stuff. So like that website rules. Yeah. Your friends have good taste. They sound crazy as shit but they're

tasting websites. It was like 1998 and there were two websites to choose from and you were the other one. So. You were both. Well when you put it like that. I thank you for the compliment. It was 1998 and we had landlines.

But yeah. So. Yes this is. I knew you from. This is coming back now. Yeah right. I have photos of this. We were you know we each had different hair

and were thinner. I had a lip piercing you know early 2000s. So. No that's that's how we met and and happily you were in a douche and we've been friends ever since the end. It's true. Yeah.

Well there is a very strange story about how our lives are intertwined when this was in San Diego when we were at my brother's place and and Frida was walking around looking at stuff and she's like why are all these fucking pictures of Sam Riley everywhere which is the name of my sister and I was like that is really strange thing to ask and it turns out what do you have all these

pictures of your sister? Frida. Freak. Right. Frida. I love your family. Went to the same like Elron Hubbard private school with my little sister.

And you're both survivors of Scientology so that's something. I'm crying. I'm already crying laughing because you're you're you're like reading back to me how stupid I sound it. I like my brain had imprinted at that point that your legal name was Sean baby.

I never asked what your last name was like you're in my phone you're still Sean baby and that's your whole that's your whole entity that's it. So it didn't occur to me that you had a last name or a legal name you're just Prince and I thought it was from the Internet. Is that not your last name?

I mean it should be. It is on my life insurance forms. So walking around your brother's house and I don't I don't even remember how I met Eddie. I don't remember. No I think this was because I met you at EverQuest the EverQuest party and we became friends and then I think you knew that I

lived in San Diego because I worked for Sony Online on EverQuest at the time because before I was a voice actor I had a career in games and then I met Eddie and Damien there and we hung out post comic con and then yeah and I was like why why do you have these photos of Samantha Riley who I went to Scientology summer camp with and to

not make the whole episode about that because we could. So the deal with so the deal with it's known as the Delphian school or Delphi and it's out by Eugene Oregon which is you know not that much different from where you know militia people hunkered down and hide from the feds.

It's just land and Oregonians and a handful of Scientologists. It's very country. Yeah. It's beautiful. Like I had a great time. For me there was no indoctrination. I just rode horses.

They took us on weekend trips to like White River rafting and to Portland and Seattle and Victoria Canada. Like I had a frickin blast because I had a very sheltered upbringing. My parents should have been my grandparents they were much older. But this is a good way to explain how

you end up at that boarding school if you're just there for the summer. My friend Gabe Castro who lives down the street from me. He was from Anchorage Alaska. His parents were from Spain. So he's like first generation American and I never met them but you know he

does an impression of his parents way. I did impression of my Mexican mother with with the very thick accent and complete you know a lot of misunderstandings and his dad was just like do you want to go to the computer school or the science school and Gabe's like well the science school sounds good and he

ended up at the Scientology school. They mixed up Scientology and Science. We just didn't investigate. My parents didn't give a shit. What a predicament cousin Larry. My my parents had had like a Napa vacation planned and wanted to dump the thirteen year old somewhere so they

drove me up there from Las Vegas where I'm from and dropped me off at the school then discovered it was Scientologists and they were like well you're a pain in the ass. You'll be fine. Well we're already here. I mean we're already here.

Yeah we're already here. Not give you to the cult. Exactly. The vacation was paid for so they fucked off left me there and and Gabe and I are still friends and Gabe ended up going from a career doing music and sound design for everything

from like Resident Evil films to Portlandia to Tim and Eric to I must be like I don't know 12 or more years ago being like hey so how do I thinking about getting into games and since then he has like he's become a full-time composer sound designer for games.

He's and it's very funny he's like shy about he um he did music for The Forest which is like his hit for some for some reason we have this conversation about how as an artist you have no control over how people process your art like the thing that you put blood, sweat and tears into

no one gives a shit about but the thing that you like fart out in a night or five minutes that's like your legacy and you're stuck with it. Right. That's how he feels about The Forest which was sort of like a brainless theme and people are obsessed with it.

So anyway and we've been friends since I was 13. Well. And now we're old. Sorry Gabe. It makes you feel better I think it sucks too pal and I don't know I didn't play it.

So um so yeah so that's the Delphian school where um if you were a summer kid. The star making Delphian school. Apparently. It just sounds suspect from the name like that's what I would call the evil version of the X-Men school.

It was so truly weird when my sister graduated every child thanked L. Ron Hubbard did my name in their graduation speech and every child got a graduation speech. Did they look to the sky and scream it hoping that he would just like catch it out of the air.

Right. The sex rituals on the side was like maybe inappropriate for the for the kids. There were no sex rituals. Look if you're. Yeah I know you're. If you're Christian.

You're contractually obligated. And if you're if you're Scientologists you give it up to the you know highly lauded Battlefield Earth author whose entire collection was on display at the school library. Right. I was a weird one but like yeah like

Sam was Sean's sister was like completely idolized her. I also stole her Tory Amos CD because I figured she could get another one. Thank you for that Sam I owe you one. Oh she's coming after you now. You fucked up. You fucked up.

Give her the link to this. No sister's awesome like they have they have really good they have good they have good jeans they have good cool person jeans like a Riley shows up in a room and you're like who is she or I said the same thing when I saw Sean I must know more and the

very cool we're friends now. I identify as an elephant seal right helps that he's seven feet tall and has a pink mohawk. Yeah it's pretty intimidating. It does. Most of the heavy lifting for my personality is the stupid hair.

Same. Arguably. Well this has been a very nice kitchen up with you Frida and I appreciate you saying nice things about my sister she'll love that. What we do at the beginning of our show we like to talk about our

current projects so could you without breaking any NDAs talk about something you're working on now that we can either look for in the future that might have been fun or interesting to work on stuff. That's because that's the funny category just FYI when like like for

example when we record animated series they don't come out sooner than a year and a half after the recording session and we forgot about it. It takes a long time. Which is why you mentioned like all that Mitt Romney stuff in the Trolls

sequel. What? I'm trying to think of something that would be very out of date. Out of date and questionable. Yeah well yeah so I've been in a couple Troll series which is that's crazy to me because first of all we

recorded the Troll series before the movie even came out so like even the animation team wasn't quite sure what the world was but we built it and I mean for a while the Trolls animated series on Netflix was without exaggeration like the number one highest rated most viewed animated

show on any platform on the planet. My daughter really likes it. It's a good show. She really enjoys it. I'm proud of it and like the songs on it are killer and there's now a second one that supports the second movie.

The second movie is clinically insane. I should let everyone know that like that movie is fucking nuts. I haven't seen it yet. I have to see it. The crazy thing to me is that I have Biproxy played at Rockefeller

Center? Is it Rockefeller? No. What's the Rockette stage? The broads with the legs. That one? I think it's Rockefeller Center. Isn't it?

The Rockette stage. Speaking of the Riley's I have a cousin who was a Rockette. So there you go. I think it's Rockefeller. You people with your long ass legs and your seven feet of you. Yeah, I believe that.

No, they did a Trolls World Tour which is still going where basically they had all of us from the show and not the movie like the show people record dialogue and music and then had you know people in full body suits and they put on a whole song and dance show and traveled

the world and malls and everything with it and ultimately playing that the Rockette stage with my voice as part of the thing. That's weird. That's crazy surreal to me. But anyway, that's one thing. There's a great show, a DreamWorks show

that's on Hulu and Peacock called The Mighty Ones which I'm very proud of. One of the two show runners, Lynn Naylor, she was one of the original people from Spumco who created Red and Stimpy, etc. She's a living legend and she's nuts and I love her.

The Mighty Ones is... Yeah, The Mighty Ones is crazy. I'm not one of the leads but crazy for that for The Mighty Ones. I sing the theme song which is a trip. Like if you're in the 80s, 90s kids and you grew up with just theme songs being a very

you know, taking up 50% of your brain as an adult. It's wild that I got to contribute to that as well. Sometimes the world looks perfect. There you go. Nothing to rearrange. See?

For the rest of your life. Sometimes you just get a feeling like you need some kind of change. You'll be on your deathbed. I just woke up from something. I feel like I just lost a bit of time. Do you guys know what happened?

I think you've always wanted to be a singer. I think it's just struggling to get out in this comedy game. It's like your tragic settling. Holding him back. Maybe. Maybe.

This is all anybody wants to see for me. Nobody wants to hear my pipes. I was going to say, and the other thing that's out is you can play loba in Apex Legends, which I hear is kind of doing well. If you hadn't cut me off earlier,

I would have listed Apex Legends as, you know. I had a long series of accolades I had memorized. It's going to tell everybody about all your work, and you're just like, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.

Sorry. Too long. Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty, I don't know. But your IMDB is legitimately insane. Is it? Yeah, it's very, very long. You're a very accomplished actress.

Tell you what, the thing that I'm... Voice actors have the best IMDBs. It just, it ranges so far. It's wacky. And sometimes you wouldn't think, they do what voice? Honestly, the thing that I'm like most jazzed about right now,

because it's so stupid and bizarre. For some reason, one of the marketing groups that does the commercial campaigns for TV and radio for McDonald's love me. They keep hiring me. I don't know.

I've done like, it's got to be more like 15 spots at this point in the last couple of months. And what they started doing lately, their mainstay for a bunch of the spots is legendary film and TV star Brian Cox, who's currently the star

of succession. He's the, you know, he's the Murdoch analog. I'm naked. Yep. And he's in a thousand other things. He's Scottish. My husband's Scottish.

So there's some Scottish pride there. Brian Cox is doing a bunch of McDonald's commercials and they've been having me do like the offer line, like get two for $2 at McDonald's on his spot. So it's me and Golden Globe winner, Brian Cox.

Best friends now fighting crime together. Best friends. I've never met him. I've never met him. We've never been in the booth. This is obviously since COVID. I have a, I have a booth at home, but that's insane.

You guys would be fast friends. I'm sure you guys would get along. Right. As soon as this ends, you guys are just going to be partners. You're going to be the best buddies in my fantasies. Well, I think it's awesome.

Cause that's really going to run to each other across a field while music swells. Only in voice acting can like a bum like me who, you know, is essentially like a nobody in Hollywood. If we had to do a totem pole system and then Golden Globe winner, Brian Cox,

who we just, and we just happened to slam through the two seasons of succession recently. So on it, like my McDonald's. All day long, Freda's like a little old me, Freda, you are a radiant and beautiful woman with lots of talent

and everybody knows it. You're so nice. The other thing I like to do on podcasts, I like to give a lot of strange compliments to people and then make everything very uncomfortable. He does this in person too, but he holds you down the whole time. That's true.

Not on purpose. He's just a tree. It does take me like eight minutes to move one of these legs. Are you an ant? Yes. Technically. Yes.

An antkin. We're bringing it back. If it's not a thing anymore, it's gonna be. Bring it back. It'll be after this. Let me tell you about a project. See, you're working with the illustrious

Brian Cox. I recently, I don't know if you've seen the film Wonder Woman 1984. No, I'm aware of it though. Okay, good. It's not very good. What I did is I made trading cards

based on the perspective of the guy in that movie who you might know this from discussions about it gets hijacked by Wonder Woman's boyfriend. So Colonel Steve Trevor comes back from World War One and just quantum leaps into some random dude who doesn't even get a character name.

He's called Hansam Man. And they just take his body and just fuck for days, steal a fighter jet and fly to the Middle East and just this guy takes Hansam Man's body. He's driving into tanks and kicking guns. And neither one of them really seemed

to think there's a problem with any of this. So anyway, the conceit of my article was that he was aware of all of this and completely awake watching this happen and the trading cards are from his perspective. And this is obviously such a high concept that I think the article might have sucked, but it certainly was a lot of fun

describing to you just now. It was all worth it. So that's what I'm up to. That's the kind of thing I do when I don't have a dog. I just did. I'd ran today, actually. A piece I was really excited about for a while about Misty Horror Comics for Girls.

They're a 1970s kind of Tales from the Crip Horror Comics aimed solely at the young female audience. And I had just... From people who did not care for women much, I would say. Yeah, that's the turn is that they definitely don't think

young women should exist or do things in general. It was written for women, but it was highly misogynistic. It was written for girls. It's Horror Comics for Girls. It wasn't so much misogynistic in that they had bad opinions about women.

It was that they really didn't think women should do, say, hear or experience anything. I think, honestly, after reading 30-some odd issues or so, I think what happened was they were trying to take the two sort of methods of telling these hokey short horror stories with a twist,

which is that, one, somebody does something awful and they deserve it and they get punished by, like, this horror mechanic that you have. Or two, somebody needs to learn a lesson, some kind of moral lesson from this horror mechanic. And they mashed those together. And you can't mash those together

because then it's just somebody getting punished horribly for a lesson that they don't really end up learning. And so that's what happened to, like, every comic was, like, these girls want to go ring some bells in a church, like an abandoned church. I mean, that's weird,

but I guess that's what you do if you're British in the 1970s, you go ring some bells with your friends. But that's not allowed. So they burn in hell. That seems fair. Right, it seems... They're made of, like, three 10-page short stories, so the turn happens really quick.

Like, they go to ring these bells in a church and then she goes, oh, no, we're burning in hell. That's too bad. That's fast. Like, one lady kicks, like, there's nothing, there's nothing you can do. A girl looks at a butterfly and she's like, what a beautiful butterfly.

And then you flip two pages later and she's getting chased by a giant, purple giant, who is somehow the spirit of the butterfly, I guess, but she knew what she was getting into. For looking at that butterfly. And my favorite, my absolute favorite, was the garden gnomes. There's one story in there.

I forget the title of it. But the basic conceit, and it's crazy right from the jump, is that her dad got his big annual bonus. And in the first panel, she says, like, maybe we could finally buy the house, you know, a record player for the family. He says, no, no, it's too late for that.

I already blew that bonus on garden gnomes. That's the first panel. That's how we're jumping off on that one. And the mom has nothing to say about this. She has no dialogue in the comic. There's no input. And the teenage daughter is, of course, rightfully furious, like fucking garden up.

What? You got your bonus today. You ran out and bought gnomes. And it turns out he's got, like, keeping up with the Johnson syndrome that the neighbors have a bunch of gnomes. So he has to have a bunch of gnomes. Oh, there you go.

But again, this isn't to punish the father. She loses her temper. The teenage daughter goes out and knocks over a garden gnome. He doesn't even, like, destroy it. Can you guess what happens? She gets a record player and they live happily ever after. That's right. It's a great story. He realizes that he did everything wrong.

He had neglected his family. It wasn't even for his own joy. He didn't even like the gnomes. No, no, of course she is murdered by gnomes. It does seem like she was taking her anger out on the gnomes. Like, I don't know. She's making her anger out on the gnomes. Like, she made a poor decision.

She probably should have been more assertive with her father and said, you've done a dumb thing with the money that should belong to the family, not just you. I mean, she did, in all fairness, she did say that. I don't think he heard that. I don't think he is capable of hearing women at least not...

You can only hear the call of the gnomes! It was just such a... such a mad sensibility, especially to bill it as this being, like, an empowering thing for girls of the 70s. This is your comment, girls. Yeah, I don't want to speak for women, but they love gnomes.

They love tiny men who lyric them from the lawn. God, they're just murdered for everything. Somebody, like, she goes to visit her sick aunt and finds that she's lavishing attention on her little dog, not just like too much attention, but she's starving to death because she has to feed her dog steak and she can't afford her own food.

And the niece is like, well, this is crazy. How about you stop doing that? Of course, she is murdered by the dog for this, because you're not supposed to do that. If you can't get steak, you can always, like, eat old lady flesh. It's really a similar texture.

Do any of the girls survive ever? I mean, even, like, you know, like, an archetype survivor virgin, anything? Intact? No, not intact. Oh, my God. A couple of torsos made it through. A few survive, like, horribly scarred from this lesson.

It was a dream or was it thing, but, like, I hate that. But they don't always. Sometimes, like, no, no, she's dead. She died. She tried to tell a man not to cross the street because there was traffic coming, and I mean, it was right. He would have

died, but she still needs to be punished for this. Sorry, girls. When you're doing work and you get, I imagine you've had some scripts handed to you where you're like, this is fucking stupid. I don't want to read this. Like, how do you deal with that? Well, I mean, I have the option of not doing auditions that I don't agree

with. I don't even mean problematic. I mean, like, someone's handed you something to read and it's just too terrible. You don't want to say it out loud. Say, for a hypothetical, somebody handed you a script with Brian Cox attached to it in the lead role. It was about

a father who spends his entire bonus on gnomes. How are we feeling about that? I feel that Brian Cox has a lot of debt and needs to pay it off for starters if he's doing it. But you know what? That just makes me think of like, you know, like remember Christopher Lee did the, was it the werewolf

movies with like exploding dwarves and stuff? Look, especially British actors, you're just a workhorse and you got to pay the bill sometimes. I've done a lot of questionable questionable things because I need the money for rent. Sure. Haven't we all God, haven't we all?

My only purview that I have any control over is like saying no to if I get an audition and I'm just like, this is I just I feel sick. I'll delete it. And if I'm requested, I'll try to, you know, bite it or explain.

Can we maybe talk about XYZ? Most of the time, no, it's very okay. There's one. There's one. I'm not, I can't doing doing the thing where I talk about a thing that I hope I don't get blacklisted later. There is a thing that went around where I'm just so

gutted because the dudes who are doing an animated series also were showrunners for a show that I love like a they did a live action show that's kind of recent that I'm just like, just just on board for everything, whatever. And then they're doing their first animated series

and all the parts of the women are just so like I can take a joke and sex is funny, but there was just it was completely unfunny misogynistic. It's centered around like a male character where he's just like a sex pest but like the worst kind of sex pest where it was just basically like trying

to make light of assault and I'm like I'm trying to find the humor and I really can't and it was kind of weird because the live action show had like funny sex, gross, weird, awkward humor, but nothing like this. So it was just one of those things where I'm like, I can't if I can't find the humor in it, I'm not going to be able to sell it as an actor. So I just

delete it. But when you have once you're in there with a job you just kind of you got to suck it up because if you're in the booth it's different now with COVID because we're at home but still everything is paid for like the studio time is paid for, the engineer is paid for, the booth casting director is paid

for so you kind of if you're in there and you didn't know beforehand it's got to be pretty egregious you'd be burning down several bridges if you're like I'm walking out of this and people have done that for the right reason like if they're being if they're being abusive with like making you scream and lose your voice or your bloody and stuff so you can't work for the week

yeah sure that's aligned that's crossed. The only thing that comes to mind is I don't remember the actress but I remember long years ago before I was doing this full time I was listening to a podcast and it was a lady who had done some bit parts for the original God of War and she was one of the ladies in the tub for like a threesome sex scene

and they didn't tell her that she was doing a sex scene that day or anything which is very common in games because everything is under lock and key and she was just in this podcast she's just like I was extremely uncomfortable I wouldn't have done if I'd known but you know I'm a professional I sucked it up and just

did it that day so shit like that comes I remember this like she wasn't screaming in the way that was erotic so they released some bees into the booth and that got them the screams that they wanted very sexy scene but I know what scene you're talking about that was really weird when she started

screaming my god the bees the bees yeah I was hot I thought it was pretty hot but I didn't know why I agree yeah there's something about it that like more you know it was the authenticity of the moment the bees so she was just

was she like a Scientologist or something what's wrong with just having sex in a tub with some weird buff god of war well they don't tell you about it I don't know that I'd be like I'm not saying I'm against doing that but if you just said if I left this room right now

and there was a god of war in a tub and he wanted to bang I don't know that I'd be down I just find myself to be kind of square and like if someone said hey I took your audio and I made it sound like you were fucking Kratos I'd be like alright that sounds kind of cool okay it's not what I signed on for but like

or whatever I'm gonna hold you to that I'm gonna find a way to hold you to that yeah take some of these sounds and put them next to Kratos having sex with me you know and see how upset I am later you heard him everybody four out of ten tops no hot dog challenge makes John baby seem like he's having sex

with Kratos in a tub for the record I wouldn't you know what I mean he's a handsome fella it's kind of hot you're both I mean I'm in it now he's a god you're both like big

how many chances it'd be like two barn doors going at it I'm kind of into it I can see now that I can get talked into it I'm learning now in this very moment I can get talked into it Sean everyone has a price

there's so much sex appeal we can resist I feel like I'm pricing kind of high saying like I would bang a god if they wanted it right you said and you're saying like no no that's not enough that's my price point maybe if they're a god and a centaur then maybe

sexuality is such a spectrum isn't it from god to centaur all types I mean I was in a mass effect so I got no room to talk there that's true everyone knows what that sounds like now so that's my legacy

I do love in Mass Effect there's the character in the white pants I can't remember the character's name but like they would frame her ass all the time so like it would be a cut scene and she would walk in and her ass would take up two thirds of the screen and I was like see this is good art right because you know that ass is going to be important to the plot later

it's foreshadowing Frida was Commander Shepard in Commander Shepard's Jennifer Hale I did Andromeda the one that everyone hates I was the playable writer gotcha see I fucked it up I had all this ready to go earlier and I got so derailed she played Ed Asner in the Justice League cartoon

that's right Granny Goodness that was the character's name played by Ed Asner give me the fucking mother box dark side that was Frida I knew you sounded familiar I was trying to place it this whole time

let me try to explain what we're going to actually do this episode this has been a lot of fun I'm not a new friend but there's a comic strip called Heathcliff which I'm sure everyone's very familiar with he's sort of like was he before Garfield or is he a knockoff Garfield or is that just...

I have no idea if this is an Oreo Hydrox scenario I want to say he's a knockoff because he feels like a knockoff but like Frida how much do you know about Heathcliff Frida I mean do I dare wiki I remember... look I was born in 19... in 1902

which by the way I saw someone tweet the other day of like you were born in the 1900s and I'm like shut the fuck up when I was little we are under the constant assault of people trying to tweet things that mathematically make us very sad

if Wonder Years came out today the Gen Z kids have started calling Millennials Boomers that's how old we are to them because remember when you were a teenager how old 30-40 year old seemed so being born in 82 I religiously took out

the comic section of the newspaper and went through all of it because that's what I had access to and I don't remember... I remember Heathcliff being its own thing but I really don't remember if it predated or came after Garfield I really would have to look that up they existed at the same time

as like you know Marmaduke and everything else I think they're all before our time anyway you'd have to be born way before 82 to see the origin of Garfield to see the origin yeah but Heathcliff really hit that popularity in the 80s he had that show for a while

with like the best theme song ever did you sing it? I sang one earlier Heathcliff Heathcliff no one should terrorize the neighborhood but Heathcliff just won't be undone killing cops and running guns

you remember that one I don't remember that what? I don't remember the rest of the lyrics but that's the tune it's in my head as they say rent free for God it's been 30-something years

that I sang one if it hasn't gone away by now it's not leaving I have not revisited the cartoon since I was like 5 so that's still just there all this time that's a permanent wrinkle in my brain couldn't ask for a better one the comic is sort of

that's in a very very bad way and maybe a little bit good way but like somewhere along the way Heathcliff went from like sort of a bad Sunday strip where like oh here's a shitty pawn or whatever to like yeah it used to be it used to be just like the things you're listing it used to be Marmaduke it used to be Garfield

it fit in right right perfectly along those it was very much in the spirit of Sunday comic strip I've done the annoying millennial thing Heathcliff was first published or created in 1973 Garfield in 1976

it is the original Hungry Orange Cat congratulations Heathcliff so somewhere along the way like they decided they're going to be funny and I say that in Hard Air quotes of course where they sort of adopted like an absurdist like almost Dada's type

of like approach to the world where it's like I'm going to say something that's such a non sequitur that you know it will be funny well here's what happened oh you know the origin of this yeah the guy that ran it George Gaitley he ran it all the way up until 98-99

and then he died and he handed off the reins to his nephew Pete Gallagher and Pete Gallagher took over in the early 2000s and it started off very much in line with Heathcliff and with the pawns

and with everything that had been doing so far and over the last 20 years it has very slowly gone completely insane but right like I guess try to picture like the internet humor that we were all doing in the 2000s right like reverence on the point

where like you don't take anything seriously and you just sort of like do a meme remember those quiz nose ads where there's these fucking weird hair gremlins and during our puppet it was almost like intention like oh this doesn't mean anything this is silly for the sake of silly

isn't that so weird and that's what this is but with a very very core attempt by like seemingly someone who doesn't get it like a space alien came down and says I understand your earth memes I disagree and I'm going to prove you wrong over the course of this podcast

we'll see I don't think he's really doing that at all I think there is an internal logic to the world of Heathcliff and he is trying to communicate through a brain just addled by madness and possibly stupidity he is actually trying to communicate

an entire world full of rules and logic that works it doesn't work in a way that a sane person will understand I'm not saying you'll understand it after this but I think towards the end you'll be like I can see the logic of that I can see what's coming next down the pattern it's like I know for

producing this episode you looked at a lot more Heathcliff than I have so I will concede you have a bigger picture of what we're dealing with I've looked at so much Heathcliff I have seen what lies beyond the stars I'm really surprised by the timeline I just I expect because of my memory of Heathcliff being like

an 80s thing I just expected it to be like the standard yeah they were doing a lot of coke like all the cartoons that raised us it was just so much cocaine but this early 2000s that's interesting I mean maybe it was just like ecstasy who knows that would explain family circus yeah that's really not marba duke

explanation only like a dark sadness can explain marba duke yeah marba duke does have a bit of like impending suicide to it doesn't it yeah we should do one on marba duke a really sad episode on marba duke get a mental health counselor in here to guest

we brought a Frida professional voice actors on because we'd like you to use your very professional voice to try to explain the things happening in the Heathcliff cartoon and then read us the caption in that role I think narrate to us narrate to us the Heathcliff and then we will discuss

do you want it in my free voice or in the voice that costs money I think um I want to leave all artistic decisions up to you as you see in the discord this is where it started for us hold on grandma has to go

I'm in the voice channel and now I need to get to the not voice channel general? general okay alright we got it okay here we go ready should I start with the description or the quote I'd say yeah okay um

this makes me think of invader zim like immediately what? Heathcliff? in a bad way well in a yeah like this is already like a generic knockoff of like something I could see invader zim doing yes see I'd argue invader zim is exactly what I'm talking about executed in a good way

in a way we all appreciate and think it's funny and zim would be normal but this already feels like North Korean propaganda um yes it's wearing a pink helmet uh popping out of the hatch of a tank the tank says

meat on the side it's flying a flag that says meat it says meat on Heathcliff's helmet and he's passing not a butcher but it just says meat instead of butcher but it's clearly a butcher because there's ham hocks in the window and to

you know white men with aprons um it just says meat four times and then on the sidewalk across the way is a bunch of children that have kind of been first of all copy pasted it's just the same girl drawn twice and the same boy drawn three times um and they're

and they're cheering the meat and then in the background is downtown Los Angeles or Chicago with some mid-sized skyscrapers meat what? especially with like with the tank rolling down main street like well for I mean we have you know especially

it's 20 it's 2021 fellas how about that insurrection um with that sort of that's maybe a little bit more normalized now with like you know having National Guard and whatever um patrolling Main Street America that's something we're getting uh used to as we boil

more and more like dead frogs um but here in the 80s it's freaking weird 119 so there you are this could be a BLM protest yeah if you change the caption the caption of course is oh the caption is children love the meat tank

it's fucking madness to explain this happened after the insurrection uh 119 is January 19th of this year this is what Heathcliff is doing now entirely aware of that that cultural situation and yeah tanks rolling down the street like there's an ominous

center to it you can't quite place it but it's a little weird this is look this is current this is legitimately January this year yeah this was the 19th of January it was a couple weeks ago but it's not but it doesn't work no it should

it should not be which is why we're talking about it it really is like it does feel like someone uh pitching an idea during a an Invader Zim meeting and just like Joan and Vasquez would be just very disappointed in it you know what I mean like it is

it's so silly and I guess of course the meat makes me think of Invader Zim but uh there's just no there's no like comedy to claw at like there's just nothing about this that says um this is absurd in a in a way that means something or in a way that is unexpected oh no it's merely funny

I think he's trying to communicate something though maybe you know I think so I think we'll get there by by going through a few of them I think I think I can show you how to translate a Heathcliff comic you know how when you say a word over and over and over again till it's just word sounds this has the word

meat in it so many times that my brain has actually stopped recognizing that as a word like I'm it's making me question if that's even how you spell meat anymore it might help you understand it because I don't think meat is actually the subject of what's going on no it's just plastered everywhere like meat for president maybe it's meat for

president I don't know meat meat meat that's something but no this is not for president okay we've got a lot to get there I think you'll you'll start to get them let's try okay let's try this one alright okay so Heathcliff is walking

down a suburban neighborhood sidewalk past a white semi-picketed fence past the dudes on the other side of the fence in their yards presumably are in beekeeper suits and moving hives

presumably and Heathcliff might be the same guys who work in the meat store they are the same guys who work in the meat store this is their hobby I guess making curating bee hives I don't know they're moving hive

pallets and Heathcliff his head he looks like pig pen from Charlie Brown where is his they're not even let's be honest these aren't bees they're small circles and they're not even like fully drawn circles they're just kind of like

well it looks like you're testing up ballpoint pen we're inferring that they're bees because they're in bee suits and carrying the pallets but my god and you're a fucking professional artist I've seen real art my god we know you're not above copying and pasting because of the last comic draw one bee copy it several times

well these are just little ballpoint pen semi-circles that are just on Heathcliff's head like an afro but he seems fully unbothered and the caption says you don't often see

bees as a comedy writer I often find myself with just sort of a blank space in like a mad live sentence where I was like somebody is crazy right I just sort of need them to have an aspect of them that demonstrates that so it's not unusual for something like that to skitter across

my brain like this person is you know as crazy as a wig of bees and then that sort of says the reader hey this is a crazy person right who else would have a wig of bees this feels like like a normal headed version of that that doesn't like kind of second trap just oh wig of bees it's perfect crazy and then they never think like should I put

that in a setting where that would be crazy or just is that enough yeah that's probably enough I'll give Heathcliff a wig of bees and that person will point at it and mention that it's crazy so the rules of this universe are that having a wig made out of bees is unusual

and we are introducing that concept an unusual thing happened no further comment right reader this universe takes place this takes place in a universe not unlike yours so just to let you know this is a strange thing you're seeing okay that's now enjoy

it's a universe where this anthropomorphic cat is completely unbothered by a halo of bees right now Brockway is there a reason for that does he have some sort of a threshold for pain that is part of his personality that we don't know about I think there's a reason for it that we will get to

okay it's never give love this is never given that there's a reason it doesn't give you anything I like that you noticed the like weird consistency of universe that the same people running the meat shop are the ones handling the bees and you'll see like characters

crop up over and over things crop up over and over that don't have any consistency but the comic thinks that they do I've decided they're a gay couple and they run the meat shop together and they also live together and bees and selling honey at the farmers market is their hobby

that's their passion they don't spend a second apart these two are together all they know that's nice life goals that speaks to me Heathcliff is a fucking weirdo he has nobody he's always alone unbothered

we will see that shortly we're in like a mid-century living room as Sean was pointing out before with like the yada yada environment art of the skyscrapers and the meat tank thing not being finished for some reason the furniture is mostly fleshed out with little theirs but the walls

are just blank white nothing void this is basically just it's just exist in a void anyway we're in a living room and we've got I mean these are they parents I'm being agist these seemingly older people because the man has a white mustache respectively sitting at their

it's a very old father a piece of mother recliner and probably grandfather and grandma slash mom at the couch and there is a youngster probably no more than 10 sitting on the floor Heathcliff is on the couch next to the lady

just chilling I mean I'm saving up for the money shop because I need to make sense of what makes sense while I can handle it grandpa is reading stocks stocks on the newspaper stocks paper stocks which by the way the word stocks takes up like a third

of the page a nondescript book for the lady and maybe comic books for junior and Heathcliff is just chilling laid back doing nothing legs crossed arms behind his head they're all wearing pink helmets that say ham and here's the weird thing because there's not even

continuity in this universe if we could go back to the first one with the meat tank he's wearing a pink helmet and the helmet says me but now he's wearing a pink helmet and it says ham why have we gone from meat to ham why is it why why not at least like thread the universe with you know meat helmets because then at least we've got

some consistency this how do you make a wiki around this and what's the caption though every time the caption is oh okay again now I know what you asked me to do this ham is up a point as an up a point in the

stocks the handstocks have gone up a single point yeah those redditors jacking up the ham stocks is this letter letter trading meats and this is a new response it seems unprompted he's not saying what's that honey

oh ham is up a point like no one asked him this is completely unprompted to a family who presumably cares very much about ham like each of them is wearing a ham helmet but their whole life is ham it's definitely I guess I just it's a pro ham you know what even moga people I don't think they wear

that hat 24 so I don't think they wear it like it's Sunday at home wearing ring this baby but not like not all the time not like all the time all the time and then I don't want to think about it they're like uncomfortable football helmets to like you would you would take it off when you're home yeah it's a full

it's a safety yeah this almost this has like this has like a very ominous tin foil feel to it where it does so it starts to get a little ominous something's wrong with this world it's kind of it's culty I mean it's become culty now because because not only are they like

you know motorcycle helmets like and they're like the bulky cop kinds where they're just like they're like joke thick she thick they're like thick helmets but the fact that the whole family is made to wear them that have been custom fitted like tin foil hats and they say ham what's going on

I think we'll start to see oh god all right there's another one okay here we go here we go okay we're outside we're outside maybe we're outside the house of the residents we were just inside of it's a it's a pink house in the suburban yard you got the white picket fence so maybe

inside of the same neighborhood where we had the bees before there's a there's presumably an electrical wire with two birds on it oh are the oh my god are those helmets I thought they were helmets okay hold up I gotta back up there's these

two little yellow looking like Snoopy birds but like again barely drawn like one not one doesn't even have the tail attached it's just like a gas hole it's a floating candy corn I don't know what's happening

and I thought I thought these were text bubbles but upon closer inspection their helmets again but they're huge and they don't even look like they're fitted on the birds heads the way they're drawn they look like they were like MS paints copy pasted on the one on the left says

crumb and the one on the right says worm which don't even go together Heathcliff is passing the walkway he's passing a flag where as maybe in Nationalist America you'd have an American flag

or otherwise hanging out it's a pink flag that says ham in all caps but Heathcliff has gone into his closet and taken out his other helmet which says meat again and the caption is oh my god there are drugs involved the caption is

things seem a little off today a little off today so again this is a universe where some of the characters know that this is weird like it's not normal for they don't know the helmets are weird

the helmets are very ordinary but something about but it's not just like people or anthropomorph now you've got like wildlife wearing helmets but they don't fit how did they get them on they don't have hands someone else

someone else has put the helmets has like captured clipped numbered microchipped these birds and put I mean great now I'm like fully queuing on thank you very much what if this is like a perspective of someone like looking at this world

with some sort of an augmented reality and we are like say we have glasses on that project the food that the things eat onto their heads that's good so we see the warm one bird wants a worm this crumb, Heathcliff wants meat the flag means

like the earth itself wants to eat ham which I guess kind of makes sense that's how you cook a pig in Hawaii or whatever oh no my theory just got fucking blown out of the water silently alright counter you with the Heathcliff this is my counter Heathcliff

Robert has posted yet another Heathcliff comic and we're in front of the same house it's the same what the fuck it's the same house but the flagpole is gone now and not just the flagpole but like the dirt circle around it so

maybe it must have been a new flag in the last comic the houses have also the house in the background has also been flipped it's on the wrong side there's no electrical wire the way these are dated to I can't even tell which comic was drawn more recently because this

this means nothing this like 421 well it can't be April of this year so I'm assuming it's the 21st of April of some year who knows alright okay so the house the year 20 sorry numbers stopped making sense to me it's probably a side effect of what we're doing

I was gonna say earlier like after the first comic I'm like this just feels like like they live like the Darren Copperhead they live but like yeah we're not supposed to be seeing this shit yeah okay speaking of augmented reality so it's the same pink house but the flagpole is gone

the overhead house is flipped for some reason it's nighttime but the sky is blue but the circle around the moon is black to let us know it's nighttime but the backdrop is still blue whatever the lighting is the same so we have no indication anyway that this is supposed to be nighttime

I do love that you're capturing all the nuances of the insanity that went into the background look environments tell a story and it tells the story of madness something that's easy to not fuck up is keeping your environments consistent because you can just keep that sheet and I'm not even

an animator or an artist but like I understand copy paste anyway and Heathcliff is on the walkway and he's wearing another helmet this suddenly the helmet is white this is the first white helmet we've seen and the helmet says fun just fun

there's no other wording anywhere for once there's no other wording anywhere else in the comic just fun and the caption says just so you guys know I'm leaving the captions last which is why I keep forgetting to do it so you're hearing it hit me because I didn't

just now looked at it you're hearing it hit me in real time the caption says that makes me nervous that's so dumb so what do you think the helmets mean and the Heathcliff universe I think Heathcliff is the night stalker

I don't know I'm comfortable with that direction there is indeed and you know what I did fail to mention something the elderly couple are inside the house looking out the window looking on as Heathcliff is leaving

and she's got her mouth open like she's talking to him there's no speech bubble so we don't know what they're saying she looks a little concerned her hands are kind of in her pocket maybe I would infer like a well there there he goes there goes our boy cat off for fun oh she's saying

that makes me nervous she's watching him leave and she's saying oh that makes me nervous does that mean that like now is there chance to escape the mind control wrath of Heathcliff or are they worried for his safety

because he intends on having fun and we know it because his helmet says fun but maybe it's not like I think he's like a troublemaker so the fun maybe implies that somebody else is going to or something's going to get broken or something he is going out and they are frightened for the world that he is going out

right because in this universe aside from the helmet this feels like a real like Marmaduke style like Sunday comic where it's just like it's not funny but like you get how like they might have tried like they kind of get in the their shitty brain how that sort of counts as a joke but then the helmet

I guess maybe it's shorthand so that the artist doesn't have to like set up the idea like I don't know I don't know because with only one caption you can't have Heathcliff say I'm off to have fun and then have the other person say well that makes me nervous so you have to have

this is an internal consistent logic people wear these helmets they mean something they either advertise their intentions or perhaps they advertise their wants but it's very clear that you can

find something else about them that's worn on their body it's just it's right there they can't hide it they don't seem to be allowed to hide it if they want something it's right there you know I think that's what the helmets are there to do maybe that's why the helmets are so bulky is because they have a smaller helmet underneath that they can't control

and it's just this dick dick dick all day long so no no no ham it's just ham relax it's their cover helmet this is making me think of you guys know Judah Friedlander he's a stand-up comic actor he had I think he just played himself basically on 30 rock

before some people were born and his deal was like every day he had a new hat that said something funny but like his hats were funny and a lot of good one or two word punch lines so like we know it's possible you can do the hat gig and make it like a lifestyle signature

thing where it's not ominous or intimidating or weird this is just it's not even weird it's like yeah like the Dada thing yeah I can't make it make sense I'd like to so then I'd stop being afraid of it okay so we're back in our suburban neighborhood

we're going down the sidewalk it's a beautiful partly cloudy day there's two ladies hanging out outside their homes kind of staring down the road there's no speech bubble but their expression is very what's that over there and I'm gonna bet I haven't read it but I'm betting

that the title quote is gonna give me that dialogue there's a is that Dennis the menace isn't that what Dennis the menace basically looked like I know it's the kid from the previous comic but it just looks like how I vaguely remember Dennis the menace looked like a little blonde kid

the shape of an eggplant when a red hat and a red jacket like you'd have the slingshot if you were like this is Dennis the menace yeah but the idea is there of just like there is a menace to him because he's not wearing a helmet indicating his desires so we don't know what he wants I should be clear to switch it up there are

no helmets in this comic that I have detected which is already I've gotten used to the helmets and now they're gone I've got a good helmet eye, no helmets, she's right Heathcliff is walking in front of the boy but he's floating about six feet up

and again like Heathcliff he has no expression at any time I mean he might be taxidermied actually he might just be a helium balloon but they fuck with him pose like we can at Bernie's or fill with helium or whatever because he's just he's completely placid he has no expression he's got one foot in front of the other which he's had before

that's the whole comic there's just nothing else going on here and the caption says oh are you kidding me the caption says he doesn't often show emotion well that came through, Roger that you were trying to convey that

I got a load of that I still haven't been I haven't been explained to the mystery of the the ham or the meat helmets or the fun helmet I'm actually surprised that this is the first time I've seen him outdoors without a helmet because I mean technically the bees were some sort of head covering

his intention was bees alright we're going somewhere this next one this is one of their Sunday joints where they actually do a multi-panel comic so it's going to feel a little weird you know I have to describe every little detail if you don't want but

oh I want to I want to feel everything so we have a classic multi-panel thing first panel it says Sunday with Heathcliff and I think that's supposed to be a spotlight on a stage with the curtains pulled but it really looks like a hole that's been punched through a wall cartoon style

I'm just just shitting all over the internet thank you very much no one knows what that is anymore by the way because we're old that's fine they shouldn't they really shouldn't they don't need that anymore they have worse okay I'm going to try to get through this

already my head hurts Sunday with Heathcliff starting with this little spotlight on a stage with a hole in the wall curtains parted hole in the wall whatever goes to Heathcliff is standing in front of a firing squad as a description there's like a mouse hole behind

behind this row of three mice and Heathcliff is standing opposite them but immediately just feels ominous and firing squatty next panel Heathcliff is juggling the mice so I guess they're not there to kill him so he's juggling the mice and then next panel now he's facing the audience

now he's facing the audience juggling the mice now he's facing away from the audience again juggling the mice so he's juggling in a circle which by the way panel three and panel five are the same completely we didn't need this turnaround like it's not only like not new art but you could just

we didn't need it it's literally the same panel one the mice are drawn a little differently or I think they've just been like rotated pasted around but Heathcliff is the same we didn't need this fifth panel sixth panel Heathcliff is still walking

and juggling the mice he's waddled into the kitchen of the aforementioned two elder ladies I guess we're in their mid century kitchen they're having coffee or tea looks like Heathcliff has now gotten himself up onto a human sized chair he's sipping tea

out of a cup in one hand and then the other hand he's still juggling the three mice next panel same scene two ladies having tea Heathcliff sitting he's put down the mug and there's a speech bubble that says burp and the next panel is he's put down the mug he has gotten out of the chair

he's now walking away from the ladies and one of the ladies is saying I did no cats like tea but wait there's more there's a panel at the end there's no panel at the end of this there's sort of like what do you call it it's like an epilogue or something where it's there's literally no panel

there's no border on this but it says in all caps we've got it just like a little chunk of text it says kitty corner corner with a K um and the dialogues uh wait well I'll just say the image first um what the hell is that Keith it's

a cat but I don't think it's Heathcliff because it's not anthropomorphized at all it's sitting like a normal cat would the cat is sitting between two signs it says keep out go away facing the cat on the other side of the image is a man and the dialogue says kitty corner John Jones of

Kerry North Carolina says his cat kit spelled with a K has carved out a corner of the living room for himself it's called his kitty corner and that's it oh my god what the fuck send us your real cat stories

sure thing Heathcliff my cat has a corner we call it the kitty corner we'll put it just at the very the very end of our strange comic book uh I would like to posit something I would like to look again at the mice do you think he's juggling do you see motion lines

how often do they change positions well the only other explanation is that they're like mice witches that are floating and they're performing some sort of satanic ritual like flying in a circle around him summoning Satan like what else what else could it be it could be cadavers filled with helium also that

Heathcliff could be doing it you could have some dark they're looking at him and fight like you said in in you know firing squad formation and then the next one they're floating through the air helplessly and he's got both hands out underneath them but they're not moving he's floating them

around and carrying them around with him somehow that's how like Palpatine would do it yeah I mean there is some sort of like telekinesis because his hand Heathcliff's hands are just sort of like out sort of like um like a priest offering prayer there could be some sort of ritual happening

I mean he was previously Heathcliff was just like floating quote not showing emotion he's all well he's established he's a sociopath right because he doesn't often show emotion sociopath perhaps some sort of psychopath there um his idea of fun

is legitimately dangerous to others or harming animals apparently yeah he does drive a tank yeah they've shown that his owners are frightened of him when he leaves at night okay he has access to tanks he seems to be able to make just about anything happen this is kind of my argument

I think that Heathcliff is a dangerous and violent psychic abuser who is like theme song says he's terrorizing this neighborhood but with complete supernatural power and I think the helmets are there to show that you can't

hide your intentions from Heathcliff he always knows I mean I think it makes as much sense as any of the ship you've come up with to explain now how on board are you with that theory how do you actually think that is I'm trying to figure out if I think the helmets um are

his mind control or to protect him and everyone else from some bigger mind control he I mean he's definitely like the dark lord of the story right um but in this in the last two comics no helmets to be seen at all you know

oh wait hold on hold on what if the helmet like is sort of like an X-Men plexiglass prison where it suppresses his power because now that he's not wearing a helmet suddenly he's floating he's floating some mice he's got

some mind control so maybe maybe like the you know the the helmet sort of like his magneto prison that sort of like oppressed his powers now that the helmet's off it's on okay um we're indoors in a house somewhere um this is oh god

it's one panel we're back to one panel and um one of the elderly ladies who was featured before this lady in pink with white hair she's there again and she's there with like the Dennis the menace kid next to her she looks very alarmed and terrified her eyes are huge her mouth

is a gape she's in shock she's her hand is clutching her heart like she's uh terrified standing a few feet in front of her and the boy is heath cliff for once he's finally showing this is the first time I think I've seen him smile

his mouth has gone from just like a tiny tight um dead face lying to a broad smile across his mouth his hands his he looks smug his hands are behind his his uh his back um he's standing

very much at attention he looks quite proud of himself chest puffed out and at the opposite end of the panel there's a jack in the box but it's not it's not a jack in the box it isn't it's it's a box that's open and there's a spring

as you would see a jack in the box but the but the head the head on the jack in the box is the stalks gentleman from before the the spouse of the lady with and we know because of the mustache but in a in a perverse joke straight out of midsummer

he's wearing a red gnome hat which dovetails into your whole gnome thing um he's wearing a red gnome hat and there's like motion lines around him to show that it's you know we will wobbling around so the artist knows what motion lines are yes this one time

um so we're indicating that it is a jack in the box head bobbling in motion that's it folks there's nothing else there and the quote i'm sorry is it the is the is the joke that you're coming to that that's the same writer as like the 1970s horror comics

were girls were they all die no that's a good joke the the quote the quote says please wish it into the corn field the fuck i do love how you the human

brain craves like logic and the way your brain created a narrative like oh this he must have made me read this insane comic for some kind of a reason and and he didn't like that this is the madness of meadcliffe well this this last one has anybody

seen the twilight zone i believe it's the movie might be just an episode yeah i know what you're talking about i think this is a direct reference to the all powerful for dum-dums yeah there's a hesitate to call them it's a short story you know in the twilight zone

either series or movie about a child who is a dangerous reality altering psychic he can literally make whatever he wants happen and he does he doesn't have the moral center to like rain that in at all so he

is taken over his town he can read everybody's thoughts and unless they think exactly what he wants and unless they do exactly what he wants he can make literally anything happen to him he changes them into horrible things and at one point he changes a man into a jack in the box

for disagreeing with him like this and if something really really really wrongs him he banishes them and they call hit they go to the cornfield which is sort of a psychic null space that looks like an infinite cornfield and that's where they're banished

you might know it from the simpsons treehouse of horror where bark can do anything and he turns Homer into a jack in the box and gets kicked through the goalposts and stuff so yeah it's a real cultural touch yeah this is the only cultural touch stone that that can possibly relate to is

all powerful reality altering psychic who is terrorizing a town has changed a man into a jack in the box and wishes things into the cornfield I think he's pretty blatantly saying and also the only time Heathcliff smiles is torturing this man the modern day Heathcliff is about a violent

abusive psychic it makes sense and that's what I've brought you here to see and understand and thank you for coming on this journey with me I know it took a while but it was important to me and I thank you for experiencing it well I feel cursed

oh you are most assuredly you are in your face do you want a one random one that means nothing and has no well I don't know that it means nothing but it has no relation to this theory just a palate cleanser yeah I think anything is a palate cleanser at this point

what I was going to say back in the suburban neighborhood on the sidewalk it's nighttime again where the sky is blue but there's a little bit of black around the moon which by the way looks like a poorly drawn Pac-Man I'm going to leave the money shop for the end I'm going to go backwards

so on the street level you've got Heathcliff who is again very in a rare moment showing emotion he looks jubilated his mouth is open and again there's a motion line hula hoop around him so indicating

some sort of turning around emotion his arms are up in the air he's actually standing with three other cats who are also drawn the same with mouth agape and arms up I mean this looks like they're at I don't know church singing or something they look very happy I assume they're singing or yelling

or making noise because their mouths are open they're passing by a tree there's two birds that look a little bit concerned and behind the cats at a distance following them is a this is an ape it's an ape, a gorilla

but it's orange this is hurting my brain so orangutans are orange but this is drawn like a gorilla this is basically like Donkey Kong because it's brown and it's drawn like a gorilla it's not an orangutan, sorry I'm a nerd, this is wrong anyway it's an orange gorilla

he's like mid leap so he's a couple feet off of the ground and he appears to be in the middle of his arms are spread apart but he looks like he's about to bang two tin trash cans together there's a house in the background that means nothing that's all I got

and the caption says cats, caption says cats rejoice at the garbage apes approach the garbage apes approach the garbage apes so his formal title is sir garbage ape Esquire and the cats love it

cats feel very positively about garbage and apes when an ape is charging a cat the cat is just always happy about it I don't think this one fits into my malevolent psychic world theory I think there's a lot of just bullshit going on

in Heathcliff and I don't know what the ape means it's such unearned wackiness, I think garbage ape is a pleasant arrangement of words, I could see somewhere in my life saying garbage ape in the context of something being like okay that's a fun kind of silly

but there's nothing else if you found a dead ape at the dump garbage ape I love it if you said that and I was at the dump with you I would give you a genuine laugh just a good series of funny sounds according to Dennis Miller

and I like the concept of an ape being either in charge of garbage or being garbage that's a funny thing to juxtapose with an ape I think he attacks them that's an attack posture to me I don't think he's going to attack the cats because they love it he's going to fuck something up

and they just eat the garbage in his wake of destruction I suppose it makes a kind of logic cats eat garbage, Heathcliff eats garbage he would appreciate it if you look back this is all I said I would do to you by the end I said at the end you would say

it makes a kind of sense I follow a kind of logic you crafty bastard fucking got you this just felt like a sequel in Saw just games with my mind and I don't know what to think

we're all trapped in some sort of a dark hell prison right now we need to solve these to get out do you imagine a Saw movie based on Heathcliff comics I have to do something it triggers that puzzle solving part of my brain that watching

Twin Peaks or something does it doesn't feel entirely random there's something there that's like a human brain fucking hates random it's like the uh there's a famous song I think it was Italian making fun of how English sounds to him

and he was just singing how gibberish English sounds to him without speaking English you can't listen to it it tricks your brain into trying to hear every word and it's so frustrating I almost, no that's not it I don't know that one I feel about Heathcliff

complicated emotions with this cat killing cat well uh I think that's a perfect way to go out on Frida do you have anything you'd like to plug before we go the hole in my head oh Jesus do I have anything to promote

watch Mighty Ones on Hulu and play Apex Legends and enjoy your damn self in this awful awful time to be alive find the joy in little things honestly stupid routines of sort of like grounded

it's just me and my husband and our three animals in our two bedroom apartment in Los Angeles and um stupid things that make sense sort of help anchor my brain before I just completely freak out and just you know kill everyone um

so Heathcliff is specifically not your comfort zone no this is this is fully triggering me um but undone so much but like completely no we'll just we have like things that our order makes sense like um we have this sort of like weekly ritual that we never used to

because otherwise you just lose time and days and this sort of like bunker lifestyle like on the week my husband learned how to make fabulous breakfast burritos on the weekend that makes sense to me that feels sane and that sort of just like connects me to something that I that is reliable and enjoyable

this isn't either you're plugging breakfast burritos hell yeah anti your husband's breakfast breakfast burritos your anti you know there's just everything has been just like on a on a grand scheme level everything has been so

psychically chaotic and uh just unknowable and terrifying that concrete this is why look the biggest tv ratings have been the office and Frazier

and just rewatch of reliable low stakes comfort comedy because we're sick of surprises but this was hilarious um so thank you for having me thanks for coming anytime anytime I'm gonna go rock back and forth now

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