The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 91, Dog Police With Fryda Wolff

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

Brockway asks Seanbaby and special guest, voice actor Fryda Wolff, to discuss Dog Police -- a 3 minute long novelty song from 1982 about dog police. It's... it's 3 minutes, how could they possibly do an hour+ podcast about this?

One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred hot dog. Our podcast slams with maximum hype. Say hot dog podcast work. Yeah. When you taste that nitrate power, you're in the dog zone for an hour. Come on.

You know the number. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine hundred. One nine hundred hot dog. One nine zero zero zero.

Yeah. Nine thousand. Welcome to the Dog Zone Nine Thousand, the official podcast of one nine hundred hot dog, America's final comedy website. I'm Ruff Burt. Barkway. Oh.

I am with me is my partner in Whimsy, Sean Bidey from the Inter-Wolf. Say hi, Sean. That's the best intro I've ever gotten. Thank you very much. I told you you were going to be speechless. I don't have any dog puns ready, and I know that's really rough for you to hear.

Joining us today is the wonderful and talented Frida Wolf, who was kind enough to provide her own dog pun name already, just like by default. Amazing. I was going to say I feel deflated because there's, there is no joke. My name is a joke.

I am the joke. You are the joke. Welcome to the Dog Zone. We didn't have to change that one either. We are also the joke. Okay. Before we get into it, do you have anything you'd like to plug today?

Me. Yeah, you in general. If you don't know who I am, my name is Frida Wolf. That's my real name. My first day on the job. And it kicks ass. My first day on the job when I was a game developer,

Josh Sawyer, who's a game director. He's done Fallout New Vegas and various other things. He's a really good intimate friend of mine, but the first day on the job, instead of saying hello and introducing himself like a normal person, he comes into my office and says, first thing,

so is Frida Wolf your real name or is it like your LARP name? I got my LARP name in the office. Yeah. I put my first name on the application and it just stuck. Yeah. It's not my LARP name. It's my real name. And it's weirdly appropriate for this K9 fun podcast.

But anyway, if you don't know who I am, I'm a voice actor. I'm really annoying on Twitter. Who cares what I've done? You can see it on IMDb, but if you ever have any questions or want to talk a chop about VO or, you know, see me make dumb jokes,

I'm on Twitter because what else is there to do? I was going to get, you were in a zombie game, right? On the VR headset. After the fall? After the fall, I was trying to get that on my headset just the other day so I could talk to you about it because I knew your voice.

And I spent probably four hours one night. I could not get the MetaQuest. I just couldn't get it to work. Like it had done some updates since the last time I touched it and I was like, this thing is so broken. I can't, I just can't get the game that my friend's in

to talk to her and tell her I got the game. So anyway, I tried. I promise you I tried to buy the game. I'm sure you're great in it. Thanks. I'm a playable. If you ever get it working, you can play as me. So your voice will be like coming out of my head.

Yeah. Yeah. Out of your, out of your virtual face. That's the dream. And that takes friendship to a weird new place. A place I think we've always wanted to go. My husband's played as characters as, he's played as my characters while romancing other characters

and people, I think other people get more weird and squeamish about it and met and they're like, is that weird? Are you perturbed? And he always says, well, but that's not, that's not her.

That's not Frida. Like he's like, it doesn't sound like you. It's not acting like you. I definitely, even when I'm doing a voice that's like my natural voice, it's, it's,

there are very few characters out there that are just like me and my fat pants, you know, not a lot of them. That's how good you are. Your own husband can't recognize you when you're in character. He never gets tired when it's only, no, yeah, no.

Yeah, he's into it. I think that's where like, that's where eroticism is going in the future is, is this kind of meta playing as your wife playing as somebody else, seducing somebody else. Like that's the next, that's the next nine and a half weeks. That's,

that's the metaverse nine and a half weeks. I need that many layers of abstraction. That's just, the depth at which I get horny. I need like four people living inside my brain. That's the depth to one of them has to be my wife, pretending to be someone else. So Sean, anything you want to plug?

Oh, no, that, that idea I just had. That's a new movie starring Leo DiCaprio. Perfect casting. He plays my wife pretending to be Leo DiCaprio. It's like a triple inception. It's like, man, what was that movie just recently with Matthew McConaughey?

Do you know what I'm talking about? Where? Where? Where? God, I'm going to spoil it just by talking about it. Where it turns out to be a video game the whole time. Oh, okay. I know.

Blanking on the title. Yeah. Everyone was complaining about that. Like the second it came out, I think it got spoiled for me. It was fantastic. It was the dumbest twist and you see it coming so far in advance, but you're like, no, I can't be that dumb.

And then it's like, yeah, sincerely. Anyway, in that one, he plays a, he plays a video game character being played by his own son, who misses his dad or something. It's just that level of abstraction again. We're getting there. If someone brought me that script, I would like,

I would just give them a hug and say, I'm sorry your father did whatever he did to you. But, but yeah, we're not making this. We're not making this film you brought me. Like maybe it disappeared or, or like vanished mysteriously. I'm not sure what happened to you from this, but it was something.

And I would like to plug our store while we remember it in the three week period that we remember it. We have new designs up there, including a mascot, which I didn't know we had. Sean, did you know we had a mascot? We have a mascot? Yeah, you just, you designed him. Do you know anything about him?

I know his name is Frida Wolf. And he's, he's a voice by Frida Wolf and Brian Cox. He has he transforms between Frida Wolf and Brian Cox. That callback was not in the podcast. That is not is impossible to get already. Anyway, we have a store where there's a mascot design. You can make up something about it because we don't know. We don't know why we do these things.

It is compulsive. Much like it was compulsive to cover the song dog police. There we go. What a great segue. Excellent. Oh, wow. Did you tell, did you invite Frida to do dog police because of the name?

Is that like a level I did not get? No, I just thought she would hate it. And that would be fun. Was he correct, Frida? No. Really? I asked Brock. So Brock, Brock D on me.

And he's like, here's this. I don't think you even said we were thinking of you for box. You just send it to me. And immediately I said, like, what is this? What is this? I'm like, why what's going on? And you said, you know, we're thinking of you for a podcast, but you said the first thing Sean said is Frida would love this.

So yeah, I meant ironically, I meant you would love to hate it, but I'm glad that you had fun with it. That was immediately like, like you were born to do what you were born to do. What is this? What this is fixed something in me and I need to know why. I was mostly annoyed that I'd never heard of it or seen it before because I'm not letting you down.

Well, I'm not like the hardest hardcore deep dive nerd, but you know, I like to think I know, I know some stuff and I, and I was born in 82 and I grew up with cable. So I'm always forever catching up with with like Gen X culture and things people grew up with like MTV and basement tapes, which I had never heard of before dog police, which I will say. So let's just get into it. So dog police came up through basement tapes, which was an MTV program

where it was a call in show and you could vote for your favorite video. I believe per week. Correct me if I'm wrong. And then the winner or per month or something like that. And the winner would get an EMI record contract and dog police made it to number two and then got it out. Tied for number three. I say we, okay.

We are operating first on the assumption that anybody knows what we're talking about when we talk about dog police. So dog police is a song. First of all, dog police is a song from the album dog police by the band dog police. They really liked this premise. And what a premise it is. It's perfect branding. It is.

And they went, they went deep in on it and just swung for the goddamn fences. And I think with this premise, they connected about as hard as one could. Like this went way farther. And so I would like to discuss this in waves to manage the depth of dog police of which there is a lot. So let's talk about the song first, the song dog police. John, give us a little dog police. Oh, yeah.

I uploaded the song chorus here. Just a magical direct assault on everything you hold dear right out of the gate. If you're from the electric company, Spiderman's theme song said that too. Perfect. Yes. So everybody's wondering why the hook was so good from this band out of nowhere. It's because they took it directly from the theme song for the Spiderman bit and the electric company, which was just the exact same thing except for Spiderman instead of dog police.

And it was much funkier, the electric company version. It was Spiderman. Where are you coming from? But it was the same cadence, same song, same everything. They just took it and used it wholeheartedly. And so the song is very just of that era when everybody wanted to be divo, but nobody really understood why. Like, why do I want to be divo?

What is good about this? What should we do here? And it sort of feels like late 2000s where everything on the Internet was trying to be viral and no one quite understood what that meant. And they had this new thing, MTV, and the things that were successful seemed to be just like aggressively weird. And obviously, for every dog police that we've heard of, there has to be 5,000 that we didn't. And so I don't know what determines that. And I don't think they did either, but this seems like intentionally weird.

The weird science era where your song had a story and it was about something crazy and you did a low-budget crazy video and that's how I guess you made it back in the day. My first reaction was... Or made a fool of yourself. This sound, the first thing I said, I think I sent this to Brock immediately at 30 seconds and I'm like, this feels like Oingo, Boingo, and Weird Al had a baby. Because there's such a strong narrative. Basically, it's extremely Oingo, Boingo, where you can tell these are real musicians.

They're not messing around. And the three of them are originally, I believe, is the Tony Thomas trio. Yeah, we'll get into their whole origin story. So they're tight-experienced jazz musicians who did this as a one-off. So the music is really good. The bass lick is excellent. There's nothing... I don't know where you can find fault with it just because on the artistry on its face was really high bar.

You don't want to get fault to find with it. But it's not necessarily musically. I agree. No, I agree. It's a well-constructed song for what it is and that hook just stays with you. They didn't write it, but they did a good version of it. They barked on it. Those are structural barks.

Those are load-bearing barks that are made. Load-bearing barks. Yeah, that really hold up that song. It is lyrically, it's not much. It's about... It's back in that era where everything had to be a story. So it's a story about a guy that gets ready for his blind date and he goes to meet her. And it turns out she's a real dog and then the dog police come to save him from this woman.

And then that's the song. But okay, when it opens up, we don't see her face. And the song's called... This is the video. We're just doing the song. Right. So just through the song. So we're like, oh, she must be very ugly.

But then they show her and it's not like she's unattractive. She's like a Dr. Murrow monster. She has an actual dog face. And I think the lyrics say her hair was blue and her teeth are green. Well, that's the thing. See, the song, we can move on from this song. The song is very much about like, this is a dog. You wouldn't think that he's talking about an actual dog from like the first verse.

He says, she's really ugly. Her hair is blue, her teeth are green. You're like, okay, I get it. This is a joke song about an ugly woman. But in the video, they double-triple down and they make her out to be an actual, like, like you said, Dr. Murrow beast. That's, you know, only, only 10% dog. And I would argue they strongly sexualize the dog part.

Yeah, she's, I don't know if Bangable is the right word, but like, I mean, in our modern day, they do a top to bottom on her. She's wearing a red slinky dress. There's not much left to the imagination. Yeah. And you get the idea she could, a human in her could breed to create like a three quarters human, one quarter dog creature. Like, you get the idea that an entire culture would rise out of this kind of depiction and

come to take over the internet. Yeah, this awakened something in some people. This is one of many things. Yes. And what I love about this is that, okay, this is, we're doing the video. So the video opens with this guy driving to his date and he gets out. And this whole song, the whole premise is about how this is just an, an unfuckably ugly woman.

How dare she be that. And the guy is the lead singer and I hate to talk smack about a nerd, but he's a huge fucking dork. He looks like, he looks like a, like a child molester from an 80s action movie. Like, like that bit part where like Arnold would be walking through a police station or something. It's just like a real fucking scuzz ball and Arnold, like kills him for a laugh or something. And then you never see him again.

Weird science was a really good ref because it is that like mid to late 80s era where, I mean, and obviously beyond where not just women were trophies, but they had to be like, what's her name? Rachel Rod Stewart's ex. Rachel Hunt, what's her name? But you know what I'm talking about. You basically had to be a woman from the music video. Like you had to be and then, and then they would put you opposite.

Whatever dweeb, whatever nerd, and then nerd would win and get to bang the hot model just to give them something to live for. You know? Yeah. Like she's okay. I get it that she's part dog, but again, she's like 10% dog and you're like 80% cockney gutter snipe. I don't know what that look is going forward, but it's very, it's very just.

He looks like a hardcore nerd, but there's a line in the song where he talks about going to the bathroom to wipe his nose, which felt like, like the nerdiest, like cocaine wink. Like, hey, hey, fellow side, I know what cocaine is. Like it just, come on, buddy. Like what are you, what are you doing here? You nerd. Yeah. He's, he's got the Don, Don Johnson, like white blazer kind of look like he's, he's the

kind of nerd that saw Miami Vice and is like, I could pull that off. And no, no, you can't. Yeah. Absolutely can't. So the dog woman might be too good for you at this point. So it was a mistake to do the video and this is from God. Again, this era was just so great because they, they had all of these story songs and then they, they just make the video telling the story with the song so that everybody,

everybody had to be like an expert mime in every music video. So it's all just mimes and he's just, he's really good at miming. I mean, you, he's playing up the reactions to the maximum, but like if you needed another reason to beat him up, his general behavior in the video will get you there too. Do you think the storytelling was trying to mimic or sort of like reinterpret what Bohemian Rhapsody did? Cause that's a story. That's a whole story.

Definitely. And I was like, I watched dog police again, obviously prior to, to just recording this and I was sort of watching and I'm like, I'm getting Bohemian Rhapsody vibes just because not just because of the storytelling, but it is because of the musicianship. Again, it's almost operatic. You could take, you can extrapolate that song and stretch it out into a whole contemporary opera or musical theater. They're good.

Look, they're good load bearing bones. Okay. It's just there. It's so good. It's a very, it's a very, I wasn't alive in that time. A weirdly grand song. And Bohemian Rhapsody is not the first, you know, longer rock song to tell a story, but it's certainly one of the bigger ones even prior to Wayne's world.

Yeah, but they used to be the territory of like the cool. They used to be like, like meatloaf and stuff like telling, you know, a 20 minute long story about banging some chick. And then I think the nerds finally caught on to them in the 80s and that's where storytelling went. And then it's, you know, she blinded me with science and shit. Yeah. Is that, is that like, doesn't the inner like weird Alan Oingo Boingo kind of came up around

the same time and that sort of gave the nerds anthems and, and, and, you know, courage as well. And then it just gave us all anthems. Yeah. It's hard to know who to blame for this, but someone needs to pay. Yes, we were going to find them by the end of this. I prompt, that's my promise. And all of them are countable.

Much like I have hunted the murderer through the Megan wants murderer podcast. We will find who's responsible. We'll get there. We're going to put the hot dog nights theme at the start of this and this, this will frame this as a mystery. Well, you know who you need to call the dog police. So yeah, here's mentioned. I want, you mentioned the frantic mime energy and that reminded me that this video has a

little person that runs up to the dog woman, like the second she gets to the nightclub and just crams like an entire night of sexual harassment into two seconds. He's just like exiting and entering with like new objects to give to her to like confess his love to this woman, this dog woman who just, I don't know. It's very weird to me. Again, like they layer it with jokes that I don't know they got or thought out because the, the reaction as they come in is that everybody is staring in utter disgust at this creature who should not be with his dog faced woman.

Yeah. But like even the blind date is like, oh, well, I'll go through the date. But, you know, I'm not all about this, but the little person loves it. And so like, what are you, what is that joke? Tell me what the punchline is to that joke. Yeah, I, it made me a little uncomfortable. I don't know what you're saying. Yeah.

I don't want to interpret it, but I, I don't think that little guy was coming out good in it. Right. There was like, you just had a comedic shorthand back then where you're like, I need something funny to happen here while I go to the bathroom. Let's have a little person. He wasn't very tall. Oh, that's good.

That's good. Put that in. Put that in. That is gold. And maybe that guy next to him. So the, the dog police, the maternity, I think calls the dog police is like, oh, there's an ugly lady in the bar. Get over here.

And so then they show up and then it's, then of course it's revealed that these are dog police and this is what they do. They, and the dogs, the dog police are dogs as well. So we're already muddying the premise with like race traders hunting down their own time. They're like dog quiz links. Yes. They're dog quiz links.

I mean, it's such a, it's such a downer, but there is like a very obvious race metaphor before we're like, the dog is, the dog woman is othered, the little person is othered, the little person is fetishizing the dog woman. So they're othered and fetish together. And then the cops come, nobody likes the cops and the cops are, are also dogs, which is weird. I don't know. Also, they're also celebrities, like all the paparazzi seems to be like, hey, the dog

police is here. Everybody knows who they are. Yeah. Well, except nobody knows who they are according to the song. That's what lyrics say. Which is dog police. Where are you coming from? Dog police.

Nobody knows who you are. But you're taking this woman away. And it's a celebration. We're like, yay, they got the ugly lady. They're putting her in jail. And there's this weird moment where the little person's watching them take her away and they just zoom in on them and like really like spend some time with his sadness. Like this is a video where nothing stays on the screen for more than half a second and

the editor just feasts on this little guy's fucking despair. And I thought that was a deliberate artistic choice. Like the, I don't know, again, who knows what any of this means, but it seems like someone who hated that little guy took over making this video for a good 40% of it. All right. So we already established that they can't go through 10 seconds of video without muddying the premise for whatever, whatever they can shove in there. So the dog police are also dogs.

They're also terrifying. Like they, the choreography is even kind of scary in that they, they march with little tiny fast steps and then they kind of play it in fast motion. So it looks like they're floating at you from the void. And they've got these, these huge, monstrous dogmas with huge like bags under their eyes. And I guess the raincoats are supposed to suggest that they're detectives, but they're kind of like, it must be the film quality because they look soiled like for perverts. It's, yeah, they're pervert trench coats for sure.

These are, yeah, these are flashing dogs coming for you. And so what I love about the song and the video is that we already have the premise, right? And the premise is that it's, it's a very bad premise that it's about your bros stopping you from dating dogs. You know, you need some friends to be your dog police, right bro? And then everybody laughs and there's, to be fair, the ugly deserve it. I mean, let's just for the record.

There's like a turn in the song where that's the first, like first chorus. And then the last half of the song, I'll just read the lyrics. I guess I should have noticed that box of filled bones. She sniffed the cups in my stereo phones. She barked so much she was on fire. She went outside and whizzed on my tire, having those puppies was a little insane. But boy, she loved that gravy train. So we have taken a turn in the song for her being in the weeds.

Yeah. And we established they can't hold onto a premise for 10 seconds, but their song halfway through completely lost the line that this is, you know, metaphorical dog police. And now he's talking about fucking an actual dog woman for the last half of this song. It's a fucking dog minotaur, dog centaur. We don't know how the creature works, but he is fucking it. They're having children together and it's doing dog stuff. But while he's saying that, like the other guys in the band are like, what?

So that's my favorite part. In the fiction of this universe, these guys are like, that's very unusual. Like they're they're like, this is news to me that dog people exist, much less that you're breeding with them. And like the ankle shifts in like performing a song with you about it. So the song has those two dimensions of like, this is about my bro stopping me from from banging ugly chicks. And then wait a minute, this is about me having sex with actual canines.

And then there's a third level in the video where they cut to the rest of the band playing and they're looking at him like, this is taking a weird turn. What is he talking about? And it's just I love that implication so much because it means that he he like. Tricked them into being in a band, thinking they were going to talk about like just, you know, banging chicks and stuff. And it was actually about banging dogs. And they just found out when they got on stage to do this.

They're just like, wait a minute, are we a dog fucking band? Anyway, that's so much I don't know. This was way ahead of its time because Bojack Horseman made all of that seem so normal. You can get away with so much in animation and it's because of the lack of makeup and just sort of the normalcy of the world. And Bojack Horseman, prior to watching the show, I was like, I don't know about these anthropomorphs, but immediately, I mean, at least for me, I was I was in it and into it. And then none of it bothered me, you know, but they actually put the part knows it made sense

where it bothers them in the video, like they stopped and showed them all being like, no, this is not OK in the video, which is you could have gotten away with this being like a weird song, but it's fine in the universe of the dog police that you have established. Right. But then you called yourself out on it and it made it all so much stranger. And I just I loved it. I love it. If I'm giving them credit for this being clear artistic communication, I think what they're trying to say is that all of it's taking place in the lead singer's imagination and he's like just losing his mind out of our mitzvah or something.

And so they they're like a band just there in a snow about something else. And just suddenly this guy's like, also, I have sex with dogs and we have children together. We're very happy. But she does dog stuff like she pees on tires and she keeps bones in the glove compartment. And now you have to do we decide if we have to stick with this, knowing where the dog fucking banned or start a new band. I mean, it's rough. OK, so on this music video brings good lord. We're not even to the full dad energy yet. So the band dog police was actually the Tony Thomas trio, as for you to mention,

they were from Memphis and they were very respectable, good, actually, straight up good jazz musicians. I listen to some of their stuff. They played with a lot of really high profile people in and around their space. And what they did to like just fuck around in between shows is they start like little mini projects that were not designed to record or go anywhere. They're just playing in their practice space. And this was like, let's be a new wave band. And so they made a new wave song and it was it was dog place.

And they were playing around, screwing around in their recording studio, which is next to an actual studio. And it woke up the sound engineer there who actually did the back to the future moment and was like, I got to call somebody about this and ran to the phone and called the owners of the recording studio. And they rushed down there because I guess that happened. Oh, my God. And they what they heard, which again was dog police.

They loved it so much, they offered to record the next album, the entire album free of whatever they wanted to do as long as it was this. So they so the pan was like, all right, fuck, if it's free. And they made dog police the album. So you're saying just for like eight grand worth of studio time, you can turn any band into dog police into dog fuckers on the record. They originally wanted to be called plastic pants, but then they knew they were on to gold with this dog police thing.

So they named themselves the song and the album to talk police. Quick note, they're big country. They did like to prove that they were thinking strategy. They did put another dog based song on this as though like if we need a follow up on this album, like most of it's just wild all over the place. New wave wackiness, but there is doggy fashion is the other like dog based song. So they had a follow up of like, if everybody loves this dog thing, we need to have a strategy to deal with our monstrous success.

And that was that was doggy fashion, doggy fashion. So I end out strategized. How was how did that song do doggy? You won't believe this. It did not do very well. Oh, but did they release it as a single? No, they released a song called one eight hundred. And that's actually on the board.

If you want to play a little bit of that, let me hit that button. One eight hundred. It's always just a salt with the right writer. There's like a whole rocky horror in there. I'm not joking. No, I know. Like one artist can't do everything. Like there are some incredible visual artists who because they're not good

storytellers, their concept artists kind of because they're not. They're not like they're not thinking about the why is this? What is this person doing? What's their background like there are same thing with like actors. If you're not thinking about what the character is, like, why is the character here? Who are they talking to? What do they want? Your performance is flat. These guys were so close of greatness.

And I'm being completely unironic because the musicianship is there. But I'm just like desperate to go back in time, you know, and like hook them up with like, you know, Rodgers needs this Hammerstein or whatever. Like you need you need your partner to bring the libretto to life and make it make sense or whatever. So like they were halfway there. Have you seen The Last Dragon? No, it's sorry.

Have you seen Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon? You've seen Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon. No, it's about it's like a kung fu urban movie with like Motown Hip Hop of the 80s with like Elda Barge. Yeah, it's a perfect movie. But there's like this sort of B-plot where the evil record producer has a girlfriend and he's trying to make her like a music star. And and she has songs that sound exactly like that one eight hundred song

where you're like, this is this is competent, but like like aggressively not right, like just unlikable on a way you can't like, you know what I mean? And yeah, it's very in your face. It's a perfect song for the bad guy for The Last Dragon, which you should see. That had to have been the owners that rushed down to be like, yes, we need to capitalize on this right now. And then they were, of course, that's the back story for why the album did not succeed as they were destroyed by a young man who believed in himself

enough to glow for you to not having seen the movie does not understand. So OK, if you're good enough at kung fu, you glow anyway. Well, it was more believing in yourself, but that's true, because the bad guy had the the confidence of evil that let him glow first. Yes. And now it's just The Last Dragon podcast. No, OK, so the studio, the studio further just believed in this thing. So fucking hard they spent in the keep in mind, this is very early eighties money, fifty thousand dollars on that video.

That's whoa for that video. You can see where the money went. Can you because I see the masks and I see like eight hundred dollars. They had at least 40 extras and like, I don't know, there's I don't think it looks cheap, I guess, is my point. I think it it didn't look like videos of that era where they'd shoot it on like Super 8 and they just wanted to get something on TV. This this was a production.

It was a production. They spent fifty thousand dollars on it and it's amazing. They this ruined somebody like I don't know that for a fact, but I do know it for a fact. What year was it? Jesus, I don't even have that. It's like nineteen eighty one eighty two. I mean, we'll we'll get it close enough. I have to look at an inflation calculator.

So fifty K and eighty two is. But wait, let me find it. Let's get it exactly. Hey, I nailed it. Nineteen eighty two. All right. Fifty K and eighty two USD last year in twenty twenty one is pre inflation of twenty twenty two one hundred and forty five thousand dollars one hundred and seventy one.

Jesus, that's so much for this video, which is really all but functionally single location. They have a car, one house, which is there briefly, and that's clearly just somebody's house and then a bar like I don't know. I worked at a lot of bars. It costs like five hundred dollars to rent a bar off hours. So, yeah, they paid these extras real well, or each of those dog masks cost twenty five thousand dollars,

which I don't know. Like they're kind of animatronic to a little bit like they move a little bit. I don't know. They're terrible, but but they're good. Someone might have run off with forty or fifty grand, but I think it looks well produced. Well, it fucking paid off. Again, as Frito mentioned, they aired on a show called MTV's Basement Tapes,

which was kind of a competition for semi amateur musicians to send in their their their videos that they may not necessarily shot themselves, but we're not going to make it onto mainstream MTV. And Dog Police made the finals just because it was so weird. They lost a Hanson like band of children called Track, who were like thirteen years old. And they they wrote a song called Dancing,

which was about a sexy woman dancing because they were thirteen years old. And this was nineteen eighty two, which is fine for children. It's just fine. And they owned Dog Police, who came in tied for third. But we are now maybe a dog. What if the OK, OK, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I was thinking, what if what if there was like a nice twist to Dog Police

where there was a point to arresting all the ugly women and then like like a nice looking woman was there at the end of the video? Like they'd like all OK, all the ugly ones are locked up. And now we have hot girls in the video. Maybe that would have pushed them over the top. If we're fantasizing, I would prefer it if they arrested all of the dog women and shipped them off to like an Australia like penal colony

where they could meet all of the attractive men that also are not in this video. Yeah, OK, so an island of dog women and hot dudes. Yes, that's that's your fantasy. That's the that's what doggy fashion should be about. OK. Yeah, so I mean, I'd watch that video. That's how they could have saved this. Long as there's just a really sad short guy watching it,

just watching the boat leave. I loved her. I sincerely loved her. This is not funny to me, and I don't know why we're doing this. It'll ruin me. It doesn't matter. I guess if you try to extrapolate meaning for this video, it's really fucking dark. It's really dark.

It's dark and strange. And it's I think a lot of it's accidental. Like I think because of the way they layer jokes in the video that change things and where they put things that they don't consider that makes this about dog fucking like. They just said nobody knows who you are. Is real dark, too. Like they're a secret dog police, right?

It's very obvious. There's no accountability. There's no oversight. It works for their ones who decide who's. Yeah, worse for Spider-Man. He's protecting the ones he loves. But like, who are the dog police protecting? Like nobody. Yeah, like just for Spider-Man. It makes it about a secret identity for the dog police.

It makes them the KGB. Yeah. Like you didn't think about it. You didn't think about any part of this and how it interacts with anything else, which I mean, people know who they are. The matriarch called them on their telephone and said, Hey, there's ugly people here. Get over here. And they call their police dogs dogs.

I don't know. I feel like I would recognize the dog police if I saw them in everyday life. Probably. It's just one of the weirdest things they could say in a video designed to say only weird things. Yeah, it's just a lot of not at all considered decisions. But anyway, there's song out.

He loved dog police, but he needed something else. So he liked their song one eight hundred, which we've listened to to attack us, to attack us right in the face. And he put it on LTV, which he used to have a TV show where he played songs that were exactly like this and only like this and made for basically weird out. And people made a lot of songs just for weird out. And it worked and he loved them and he had a great time.

But it kind of made it gave them a little bit of mainstream success. You can find some interviews with them where they put on dog masks and you can't hear a fucking thing they're saying. So I have a clip of that, actually. OK. I can't. Nobody knows who you are. Here you go. I.

Is this the new sound of Memphis? Without a doubt. And do you think that there's going to be more dog acts coming along? Probably so. It's been rough. No problems about it. Nailed it. Influencies. Lassie, Rin Tenton, the old dog series of the past.

You've made a very effective video. Do you think videos to rock songs are the thing of the future? Videos. Come down, come down for it. I don't have a dog pun. I'm fucking dying in this mask. I got I got I can't do it. I feel like their level of dog pun is pretty easy to get, right?

They're just like rough, right? That that counts as a dog pun. But then they went off their own rails. Like, hey, what are some of your musical influences? He doesn't like make up dog puns of bands. He's just like, Lassie, our musical influence is a dog that has no music career. It's fucking madness. For the 19th time, they needed a writer.

Can you imagine the power they would have had if they had a comedy joke writer on staff just to give them lines, right? They were like flashcards, anything. Love Orco Borko or something. And then I don't know. Three Dog Night. As we all night. That's it.

You don't even have to do a pun. Yeah, they could just name bands that sound like dog things. Anyway. But they were just they were like three weird owls without a weird owl, you know, without an actual weird owl who could steer the ship and do something. They just weren't weird enough. Or that might be it. Or they were weird enough, but in a way, we wouldn't be prepared for for like

30 more years after the after the internet rose. And we were like, OK, song about fucking dogs. Sure. Because that happened fast. So anyway, one eight hundred, which was, again, a song that made fun of the idea of people would rather order stuff to their home than go go outside and go shop shopping. It's it's not a great song. It's it's got some musical moments that are pretty good, but they more often than

not veered into obnoxiously diva with songs about about hamburgers, which, you know, can't relate to that. Can't relate to trying to think, you know, meats and stuff are funny. They had they did have a song called I'm butch, which was like probably about as positive as you could be about lesbianism back then, which was not very positive. Mm hmm. But it wasn't as aggressively negative as everything else.

So maybe it was empowering. OK. And so it's just a song about from a woman's point of view about being butch. Yes, about how she is butch and she wears leather jackets and she she likes women and she plays tennis and she, you know, does everything that that stereotypical lesbians would do. Was it written as if like they this was like their type or do they only write songs about women who are not their type?

No, it was written from the point of view of the woman, like the woman. So weird. Yes, it's a very strange choice. But anyway, they they chased this success with writing that weird owl wave. And they never worked. They never hit it again. But they did get. A TV show out of it.

NBC offered them a cartoon first. And that moved along for a little bit before stalling out. So instead, they offered them live action, two shows, two TV shows. I would have loved to show as a kid after I watched my pro wrestling. I want to show about cartoon dogs arresting and in in in caging ugly women. I really feel like that could have had a positive influence and deporting them to an island of sexy Australian accented men. Maybe, OK, maybe they have like dog parts from the ankle down.

Maybe they got dog feet to make up for the dog faces. That only makes it more erotic for me. There you go. We're on. I'm so glad I don't have to audition for either of your coming cartoon shows yet. You don't have to audition. Try to sound a little uglier, just like like a real dog. Oh, I'm a dog. This is a dog voice. Geez, that's why you're the best.

That's why you're the best. Well, now we got to pay for that because we made you do a voice. Many, please. OK, just like two things before we get into it. Obviously, a missed opportunity. It should have been an animated series because you can the masks and the makeup doesn't even come into it. And you can do so much more unrestricted action wise and story wise

and otherwise an animation that you then you can with live action because of like the world constraints. It's just more believable and you can be super goofy, especially if you directed towards kids. I just like I'm going to get off my high horse about if they'd had a writer. I just want to drop this little negative trivia that I recently learned. You recall a world renowned world music Irish princess living alone single in her in her castle with her cats, Enya Enya.

Of course, singer, songwriter. And yeah, but is she a songwriter? So I didn't know this until recently because I was I was just he did three of our Lord pandemic. I was so stressed. I went through a phase where I was just only the only music I could stand to listen to was like Lorena McKenna and Enya. And that's it. I couldn't handle anything else.

So of course, I had to do my wiki deep dive. Enya doesn't write her own lyrics. Her manager, she she was in the family band, Clanade, which is like a traditional Celtic, whatever they did, the end credit song on dances with wolves or no, less the Mojicans. Less the Mojicans, less the Mojicans. Anyway, she wanted to break off, be a solo artist. She hooked up with a with her business and 20 manager and the manager's wife.

I don't know. I wish I could be in the room. But the manager's wife was like, let me help you do songwriting. She's an incredible lyricist. I think all of Enya's songs, the lyrics are attributed to this woman who happens to be the manager's wife. Anya aside from sail away, I couldn't I was just saying, I couldn't understand a word of sail away, except yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you told me it was some sort of salad, like that.

I thought that's what she was saying. I didn't even know that was a song, Sean. She has many albums. Well, as an Enya fan, you know that. But as a as just a regular person, I have I had no idea because they're not regular people. I just want to point that out. My point is that someone who who has incredible musicianship

sometimes just needs a little extra help of like an elf behind the curtain doing the actual writing to my knowledge. And you hasn't I don't if she has it's very few, but the overwhelming majority is the she comes up with the music and she sings them. Honestly, this other woman is the lyricist and Enya just wouldn't have become Enya without this woman. So who knows what could have become of dog police? I'm more of the future that could have.

And I agree that there's the term dog police is very evocative. I hear dog police. I'm like, I like the sound of that. I worry that like they have all these media deals. And the only thing they ever came up with was dog police. Like they never came up with like, oh, and and here's like a single bit. Here's a single gag that dog police would do that's like coherence and funny. It's just they needed that genius as a as a proud member of the Indian nation. I, of course, already knew all that.

No, they needed a muse because they they had every opportunity from this thing that should have given them basically no opportunities. They got two TV shows out of dog police. That's amazing. Like to not capitalize on that is incredible. And for reference, 1982 was when the song came out. The pilot live action pilot dog police 1990. Eight years later, people were like, we we got to do something with this dog

police thing. It's amazing. And so they they shot a pilot sort of. Yeah, it's eight minutes long. It's it's fucking eight minutes long. It's of a crazy style of a pilot that I maybe they did. But I have never seen before where they the main actor comes up and explains the premise and then shows some scenes from it. Well, I mean, we'll get into it.

I'm just going like overall framework is is very strange to me. And then like begs you to watch it at the end. And it's eight minutes long. I've never seen a pilot like it. It's incredible. Dog police like they've never made a they've never seen a pilot. They don't know how to make a TV show. And nobody explained it to them.

Nobody said you just make the first episode. They were like, you just make something that makes us want to watch it. And so they made a little like eight minute trailer. It is it is something a child might do. If you said, hey, kid, a pilot is the show that you make to to sell your TV show. I think this feels like something that child would immediately picture. Yes. Maybe it used to work like that.

I don't know television in the early nineties. Yes, it's internal. It's for internal use. They can work however the fuck they want, I guess. It was not very. It didn't work, though. It didn't work at all. So it did not work.

Dog police, the 1998 minute pilot, starred Adam Sandler in a very early role. This was just before he got on Saturday Night Live and, you know, made it like really just before it might have been the last job he did before getting that role. So SNL saved him from dog police. Jeremy Piven, of course, is in it. Ned Bellamy, Jeremy Piven, you guys remember from. PCU is my favorite.

I mean, that's right. Smokinacus, you remember him from Smokinacus. Of course, I do like I do like Smokinacus. And Ned Bellamy, who you remember from. That's right. You don't remember Ned Bellamy. He's a character actor, right? Yeah, yeah, he's in a lot of stuff.

But you don't remember him. You see him and you'll be like, oh, yeah, that guy. And anyway, I know his I know his name just because I looked at the IMDb today. But like and those three people. Ned Bellamy, Jeremy Piven and Adam Sandler did absolutely every aspect of dog police. They directed it.

They ran the cameras. They ran the sound. They were the grips. They did the because as far as you know, because there's nothing. If you go to look up the full crew on IMDb, there are no other credits. It's only the people you can prove were in that trailer

and nobody else wanted to be listed for this credit. Not one single person. It's the best IMDb IMDb page I have ever seen. It's just so I love the opening of this. It's Jeremy Piven and Ned Bellamy and their their cops. And some guy gets his jewels, jewelry store still robbed and then the the crooks run away. And Piven and Bellamy are like just bumbling idiots.

And it feels like they meant for this to be funny. It's very much like bumbling cop gags, TBD is what it said on the script page. And they're just like, we got a 7-Eleven in progress. And then Jeremy Piven takes a drink of a big gulp. Just makes faces. No, no, no. Tell him we went to 7-Eleven and he's like, oh, we got a 2-Eleven.

And I'm like, OK, is that something they was that Freudian? Did they like accidentally confess to going to 7-Eleven on duty? I like the jokes are so dumb, but like clearly thought went into them. It's just again, like Frida says, they needed a writer, someone needed to be in the room to say, guys, no, this is not how jokes work. That's not how comedy works.

Right. We got to give this just one more second of thought. Just one more. Can we just stay here for one second? No, no, don't go. Move on. We got to stay right here. So they they get this they get this call and we cut to the dog police from behind in a car so we can't quite see their faces. And one of them says, I smell some criminals.

And the other says, use your ESP. Yeah, I this whole thing made me uncomfortable, like aside from the powers, like the way it's shot, it's like this backseat POV shot. And they haven't revealed that they're dogs. Obviously, the dogs is called dog police, but you can like see their dog hands and floppy ears, but they're still kind of playing coy with it. But to me, it didn't look like anything other than an FM,

an FMV game where you're about to watch McGruff fuck his wife. It just has that has a porny, a porny element to it that made me really uncomfortable. I just want I want to dissect that scene. I smell some criminals. Yes, your ESP. You had the first line set up your dog's super power right there. I smell some criminals.

So if you were playing this, like you said, if they were playing this coy, like we're going to reveal that these are dogs, I smell some criminals. And then he starts tracking them by smell and you swing around and reveal their dogs. It's it's easy. It's right there. But then to take that wild thing and be like, you have ESP. Yeah, I feel like that was a last minute rewrite because someone was like, hey, no, you can't track by scent

unless you have the scent. So they'd have to like have an article of clothing from the criminals. And they're like, oh, I got it. I'll just add some ESP to the dogs. No, no, because. Please click the song that opens the TV show. We'll we'll just listen to that for a minute. OK. We've been slipped out.

You wouldn't want us to play rough with you. A So bad. OK, that's about. And a lot of people, when I, when I did my, my, my Googles on this, a lot of people were like, they casually mentioned they came from outer space, but they do nothing. They don't follow it up. They don't reference it and never comes up again.

It's like, it's like another crazy, I wipe my nose, throw a wayline like from the song where just like, and maybe, and maybe it's because you two are writer's brain and my job is to read writer brain dumps on the daily, but like. We love it when you, when you call them that. We love it. They're, they're writer's dumps, but like, look, like in any household, like in my household, we're like, I have an actor and my husband is a sound designer for games. And anyway, when you have like a production household, we do any, we can't help but like

microanalyze it. It's not on purpose, but whenever, like my husband and I are just, even if we're like trying to unwind and watching TV or movie, we're like, it's Chekhov's X, whatever thing, whatever nugget you drop, you have to reference it later. Right. Or there was asinine waste of everyone's time, like, like bizarro stuff isn't funny. Especially if it's the first lyric in the first verse of your theme song that came from outer space.

So right away, I'm thinking, this is important as a child. I need to remember it there from outer space. Exactly. And like, they do have ESP, like I guess that explains the ESP, but then that's it, that the rest is dog powers. There are a couple of other things that seem supernatural in here, but if they are from outer space, that means they landed here and were hired by the Van Nuys police department. And I guess they called themselves dog police before that.

So it was just a lucky coincidence. They came from a planet where they have our bodies and our dogs' heads and they love enforcing laws local to Earth, California, and we're named dog police. It's just like a lot of nice coincidences, I think. I love that. That's all fine. That's all fine if you bother with world building, right? Like if you build the rules of your world and then work within it, like, okay, so they

come from outer space, we come from planet dog, okay, just like work with the information that you're giving. But it's like, no one was steering this ship creatively, which is why it's such a discipline. It's, oh, maybe. I could not get a captain. I mean, think about how long this has been going on. This is eight years later. Nobody wants to captain this ship.

Like somebody had the chance to do this. Nobody's credited as directing dog police. Wysley. Yeah, somebody did not want to be involved with this and took the paycheck. They did a thing I really like in properties like this when it's so crazy, like someone comes in and sort of explains stuff. So Bowser is the main dog and he comes on and he's like, hi, I'm a dog from space. I can run 50 miles an hour.

I have super hearing and I can retain a cent for up to a week. Yeah, like these are really important details for me. And then then he starts giving exposition like he shares a kid with his ex-wife, who's his current police partner. Yeah, the other dog. Mia, Mia Perot and his best friend, Ollie are the other dogs. I love that they came from another planet and then got divorced here, I guess. So like they didn't have the concept of divorce and came landed on this planet.

And Bowser is like, oh, shit, you guys can just oh, we're getting a divorce. We're getting we're staying here. We're getting a divorce and it's like he saw all these hot ladies. He's like, these ladies here have human faces on our planet. They only have human bodies. I'm kicking you directly off of this podcast. If you did not write down what their child is called. Oh, fuck, I didn't write it down.

Get the fuck out of my podcast. His kid's name is Spooker, Luke or Lee. Oh, Jesus. Why would I have written that down? That's just such a tumbling bunch of syllables from an idiot's mind. Because it's because you're you and that's a bunch of tumbling idiot's syllables. Like what? Why wouldn't you write it?

You wrote I guess that's described as my enthusiasm. Yeah, that's true. Fuck a Barbie Mad Libs. What are you talking about? This is true. I this week, I wrote about Barbie Mad Libs. And I don't know why my wife said, Hey, look at this Barbie Mad Libs book that they're selling at Urban Outfitters.

And I said, what a terrible idea. And I'm like, wait a second. I bet that book is not very well guarded against like standard Mad Libs procedure. Like, you know, when you take a Mad Libs and you try to make it really lewd. I was like, it feels like Mattel wouldn't want their property associated with that. And then they they gave it to the worst Mad Libs writer that could possibly be. And so anyway, the whole thing turned into this dissection of Mad Libs. And so Brock was right.

There's something wrong with me. And I should have probably written down that name. Spooker. Luke really spooker. Luke was an absolute monstrosity that this is the first time we pan down on them outside of like their trench coats, because he's just a little boy in shorts. And he is just plain human from the waist down. He just has a little boy's legs, like no fur or paws or tail or anything.

Just just like dog from waist up. Just like dog from waist up, human from waist down, which I guess is they're like mermaids. It's like mermaid rules for the dog police, I guess. A dog mermaid. Yeah, he wraps that voice over up with with a plea. Here are scenes from our new TV show. Please watch it. So it's a show produced by the dog police in conjunction with the LAPD in the fictional

universe where dog police exist. Van Nuys. So it's a show produced by dog police cops. They don't have LAPD money. This is Van Nuys money. Van Nuys was part of the LAPD. They mentioned it so many times to the point where like they really want you to know they were driving around Van Nuys specifically.

Yeah, yeah, why was it funniest place for dog police? I was looking for like a pun and I was looking for like Burbark or Hollywood. Oh, God, there's just so there's no effort. The bar is so low. It's right there. Dog puns. Dog puns are like the lowest besides like innuendo stuff. It's like the lowest hanging fruit.

It's so easy in all scenarios. We've made a million so far on all of them. Every single one is better than anything that appears in dog police. And you're doing it for free. Yeah, but we're doing it for love and love, not free. Are they also mentioned that their partner, Ollie, has kids too, but they give no further details. It's just like he has like kids from a previous marriage. I guess she's on the dog planet.

I don't know. But we have so much backstory that's pointless, valuable information. They relay to us at this point in time. So they deliver this voiceover and like you think I need to know this, right? Because they spent this is eight minutes long and they spent like two minutes doing this. And so now they cut to hear scenes from our TV show. And none of that comes up ever again. None of that is relevant to the two of these six to these five minutes that are left.

So Adam Sandler comes on screen. He's doing an Adam Sandler caliber accent. He's the he's the C.I. or snitch or a dog nark, as we call it. How out he's a human. He's a human doing Adam Sandler as a dog, but he's a human in this. But he is these are the only dogs. The dog police and their abomination son are the only ones. Man, I love I love that they were divorced.

Like just thinking about that. So he has to be partners with his ex-wife. Like that's a show. Why are you adding more things to this show? And in the eighties, that was like eight seasons. Right there. Yeah. I feel like in the eighties, though, everyone hated their wives already. So that like, I don't think that changes the dynamic if like they're

currently married or ex exes like that. They're going to clash anyway. We all we already hate women here in the eighties. It doesn't matter. Also, this is a premise by someone who's like, what if what if we arrested ugly women and they made a spinoff TV show about it? This is the spin off TV show of what if we arrested ugly women? Remember where we came from?

It's so important. This Adam Sandler part really troubles me, though, because pre-SNL Adam Sandler, like was a really bad actor. Like he could really tell he was performing. He also had like a sort of a silliness and like an all shucks. I I'm too embarrassed to even try to act type of thing. So it's kind of it makes me like uncomfortable watching him perform. But also he's getting stiffed for an invoice.

He's like, hey, you owe me on twenty seven hundred twenty seven dollars for the thing I did. And the dog cops like, how about I don't fucking put you in jail? You little fucker. And so it's like I'm just that's not I'm uncomfortable there too, because like when you tell someone you work for me, I'll put you in jail. I don't know if there's a word for it, but it seems like these dogs came from the stars to enslave man because they literally did in those exact words.

Like these are star conquering dogs. And it's just happening like here with Adam Sandler first. Again, nobody thought about the implications of any one scene as compared to all of the things that came before it. We can we can track that back to the original song that accidentally wound up being about dog fucking, and they're just carrying that energy to the show. I would argue it's true to the source material, I suppose you're right.

Then I have here in my notes that Jeremy Piven comes in and they do a really long puppy love gag where he's like, oh, hey, these two idiot dogs from space got divorced. Their love must have been puppy love. And it takes like twenty minutes to set up this punchline that vital in this eight minutes we had so little time. Just like probably the weakest dog pun of all of the things. And it just gave the idea that like, oh, is this is this how the show is going to be?

Everyone's going to like harass the dog police for. Make dog puns at them. Yes. And she that they make this to the female dog police. What is her name? Mia. And of course, she snaps back with her own little pun. But here's the important thing. Her voice is so sultry. She is like dialing sexy up to eleven.

And then she sits back down and we carefully reveal that she has sexy human legs and pantyhose and high heels. Again, again, of all the things to take from the video, the fuckable dog lady, the fuckable dog lady from the waist down, the reverse dog mermaid. I would have gone with sad little person. They went with fuckable dog lady. Everybody has their fetishes. So it is all they have are dog puns.

I mean, just we could use a good color. You could use a flea color. Just just dog puns is all we have. A landless. The chief gives them some paperwork to do and they protest in all fairness. They are the only superpowered alien star conquering mermaid dogs on the force. So maybe they should be used a little bit better.

And then here's where the dog police made a show about them doing paperwork. Remember, in the fiction of this show we're watching, this was made by actual dog police, like on the job officers. And then they they get a call. There's a hostage situation at City Hall. And so right here, you're like, OK, he sends the dog police out to to deal with this hostage situation. You're like, all right, this is the pilot.

You have the pilot. We have to deal with this hostage situation at City Hall. No, they just say no. I mean, they go, but the pilot says no. And what they do instead is they catch shifty Adam Sandler stealing the wheels of their car. And so they have a no joke, minute and a half long sequence in this eight minute pilot of carefully putting the wheels back on a car.

And like, if there are jokes, I didn't recognize them as jokes. And they jump back in into the car to drive off to to this hostage situation. At City Hall. And that's it. That's the end of the pilot. They thought we we should do some paperwork and then put some tires back on a car. And that's going to sell the idea of our show, the dog police.

So I had to look this up for my own sanity. So reminder of this pilot, I think we were saying it's at least I am to be as it was made in 1990. So I just looked it up for my own validation. Alf, both the live action and the cartoon ran from 86 to 90. Oh, yeah. So the whole a snarky dog from outer space interacts with humans premise and all these, you know, wacky rules of its alien species and planet that had already worked.

Like, yeah, not only worked, but one is very beloved, very, very beloved. And that and like Mel Mac and all that shit made sense to me as a kid. I mean, that's got to be where the outer space came from, right? Like now that you bring it up, they were like, this needs 10 percent more alf. Maybe just make them from outer space. I think it's just how they yada, yada. They're like, how do how do we explain why these are dogs? They're like, oh, dude, just fucking alpha.

Just self that shit. Just alpha that shit alpha that shit. Anyway, go to our store for our new shirt that says just alpha that shit. I wish we could get away with that. I wish we I we skipped ahead. There was a gag I wanted to talk about where there was like a hot lady cop. And she was on for maybe two frames, just like there she was. And everyone woofed at her, I think because she was hot.

And then it just cut away to something else. Like they did a whole like series of dog things. And one of them is like, oh, it's way darker than that. That he was giving out assignments. The chief was giving out assignments and he said, like, we need something for the mayor's party or somebody's got to cover the mayor's party. And he's made a request and then they cut over to a hot lady. And then all the cops like laugh at her and whoop because he's going

to sexually harass and or assault this woman. Right. That's a nice little Weinstein drop. Yeah, just a little just a quick little quick little stab in the ribs and then run away. They also do a thing I really love on shows where they they don't understand how video game systems work because one of the dogs is playing a Game Boy and he's just like hammering the buttons randomly and screaming, I have gotten to level five.

And it's such like a video game commercials, like, you know, the video game college commercials where you're just like, what the fuck is that? That's not how video games work. But then later it gets worse when Adam Sandler steals the Game Boy and actually hits the D pad with his right thumb in a way like a chimpanzee would play a Game Boy and and they had like kind of a special insert shot just of that. It's like someone said, hey, we need to like insert shot of a Game Boy playing.

And Adam Sandler is like, OK, totally. I'll show you how to play Game Boy. I don't know. Stuff like that is it's. And I feel like you hand the Game Boy to your grandmother. She's like, sure, I I intuit how this works. That's also button. Like that's the funny joke that that ends they drive away. Adam Sandler reveals he has the Game Boy.

That's our button. And the last part of the show is this weird pilot thing they're doing where he pulls up to the camera in the car and leans out and is like, we made a video and and I hope you come watch. Actually, I think you put that on the. Yeah, I put that on there. Why I put this on there. It's obviously terrible and we'll we'll hate it.

But I think it's Rob Schneider. Like it seems impossible. Adam Sandler ever made a project with that Rob Schneider. And I think that started even here in nineteen. Oh, it could. It could. Such night arrest delivery. Yeah, that's a wrap. They say every dog has its day.

Hours is Saturday. Come join us for action and adventure as we sniff out crime and maybe. Maybe a laugh or two. And remember, with us around criminals might as well roll over and play dead. That's Rob Schneider. Yeah, they say nobody knows who you are. But fuck you, you're Rob Schneider. Yeah, wait, wait.

No, Rob Schneider would not turn down a credit. I'm not even like this. It's that's totally his voice. But it can't be because that would imply that at some point in life, he had pride and I don't I think we can prove that's not true. That's true. I did find that poll quote in our works lack the other day, where he's like, I don't have an ego. I'll do whatever.

Yeah, he would want he wants that credit. So it ends with them pathetically begging you to come watch. And of course, it was not picked up. And that's the saga of dog police, which is just eight levels deeper than it ever should have been. It's amazing. This much mileage came out of what if there were police to keep you from banging ugly chicks, we're going to just play that song by ourselves

in our practice space and the world is going to fucking kick down our door and drag us out and make us record an album and throw just choke us with TV shows and it's never going to work. It's never going to take off. I'm going to have no agency in this. I actually I have a quote. He says, when we made this video, people said, you'll have to live with this for the rest of your life.

And they were right. That is that is from the lead singer, drummer, Tom Leonardo, a professional dog fucker. And the podcast. And with Maximal in the shower. So, Frankfort podcast. Correct. Yeah.

The practice is not practice. Not without. Shit in the hundred. So for an hour. Come on, you can't see the mom. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

♥ August was Dolomite month on the hot dog discord, so we thought it'd be fun to let Dolomite write one of these. The handcuffed lightning split the raging sea. These here are the mother fucking hot dog Supremes. Refinger Loewe. Aaron Crosston is a bad motor scooter. Adrian H. Aiden Moat. Alpha Sciences Java, you rat sweet motherfucker. UnAndy. Andreas Larsen. Armando Nava. Benjamin Sironin. Vim Talzer.

Brandon Garlock thinks you need to move over and let him pass before they be pulling these hush puppies out your ass. Brian Saylor. If Brian Whitney ever sees a ghost, she'll cut the motherfucker. Brockway loves the meat milling. All hell yeah he does. Sarah. Rev. Chance McDermott don't wear no fucking cotton drawers. Chris Brower. Curious glare. Dan B is so bad he kicks his own ass twice a day. Dean Costello. Dr. Awkward. Eric Spalding knows why I'm not doing the voice. Fancy Shark. Jell-O Hope. Greg Cunningham is his name and fucking up motherfuckers is his game. Ambo. Haraka. Hot fart. Jay Burrell Aiden is a low down. Oh, I can't say this one. Jacob Thornberg is a snake eating yellow.

No, I can't do that one either. James Boyd saw a white woman. Nope. Jeff Harasky is so black. No. Jeremy Neal once dated a pastor's daughter and he's, oh god. My man John Dean's wife is so, not doing that one. John Hector McFarlane met this deaf girl one time and holy shit Dolomite. No. John McCammon thinks you're such a mama's boy. You, no, skipping that one. If John Minkoff was in Mississippi now, Josh Babien is a motherfucking, no, can't see any of those words. Here, Josh S hopes you eat as cold as the Windy City because the way he feels now, baby, he sure could warm you up. Oh, that's a nice one. Thanks for getting us out of that, Josh. Ken Paisley, K and M. M Jaihi Chappelle just wants to see

a honky dance. Matt Riley, Max Baroy will get behind you, getting in front of you too. Michael Lair, Michael Wells, Mickey Lohman, Mike Stiles. Moji once walked from New York City to the deep, deep South just to slap a son of a bitch straight in the mouth. Andy Neil Bailey, Neil Shaffer, Nick Ralston wants you to listen and listen well. He's that bad motherfucker drove the devil out of hell. Nick H, Ozzy Olen, Patrick Herbst, Rain Vargas, Rhiannon's been known to rise up, but we'll cool down later. Sarkovsky, Spotty Reception, Ted H, Timmy Lady is a no business, born and secured, jock-jawed motherfucker. Toast to God, Tom Secula thinks you're bad and you ain't got no class. He's gonna rock this shotgun up your motherfucking ass. Tommy G, Waylon

Russell, Ysarion wants you out of here in 24 hours and baby, 23 of them are already gone. And Donald Finney don't want no dilapidated, seep-saffid pigeon-toed, cross-eyed, and bow-legged son of a gun's a messin' with him.