The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Extra Weiner - 233 MWHHSB with Dennard Dayle

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

We've worked out our demons now it's time to relax with a confounding game of, "Manilmal Wizard Hulk Hogan Speedboat"

Extra winner. Extra. Weiner. Extra. Winner. Extra. Weener. Gather together from the cosmic reaches of the universe.

Here in this great hall of justice are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled. Shamboree. Gast. Extra weiner. It's a monster. Let's get out of here. It's Extra Weiner, the bonus podcast of the Dog Zone 9,000. It's self a bonus podcast of 1,900 Hot Talk.

We are back with author and an aspiring sorcerer to Nard Dale. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am here. I've got a small red new of demons with me. I try to keep a shoestring on the way into the podcasting. Only three in the back way that make too much noise. But they are all...

How many legions are we talking? Just like four legions. You know, like six and a half dude. Like seven. So today, we only have, I think, six bonus games designed specifically for wizards here on Extra Weiner. But we've already appeased a demon, so a few of them are out. We're going to make this one free in celebration of your launch weekend so that there are the maximum choices for you to make a mistake. Fantastic.

I really want my soul, like, I'm trying to do a whole constant. thing here. I think you'll get it with this one. We're going to play a simple game I like to call Manimal, Wizard, Hulk Hogan Speedboat. We're more nutritious! All right, so, especially since this is going to be free, you're going to need a little explanation.

Screenwriters Douglas Schwartz and Michael Burke once recycled the exact same script for three different TV shows, Manimal, the Wizard, and the Hulk Hogan show, Thunder and Paradise. They seriously, they changed as little as possible. They only, like, tweaked the approach their heroes had to take at a few moments. Like, they would encounter the same problem, but then one would solve it with the powers of a manimal,

a wizard or a thunder and thunder, I think was the boat's name. Yeah. In Thunder and Paradise. Hulk Hogan's name was, I think, boat sidekick, boat sidekick, boat sidekick, junior. His name is always just Hulk Hogan. I know that sometimes they call him something else, but nobody calls him that. Yeah.

That's Hulk Hogan. So here are the powers, just if you have not heard our three podcast series on this, which you should. Go listen to him. Manimal is a really reedy little British guy, and he can transform into any animal, but it takes a long time,

and it really hurts. It definitely hurts. It hurts a lot. He doesn't like to do it. All right, all right. Self-hating Beast Boy, I'm into it. Uh-huh. Yeah. And when he's upset about something, like if somebody dies, he'll wait like 40 seconds and then he'll say, blast.

Yes. The wizard is a little person toy genius. That means he invents toys for the government, and they use them to kill terrorists, which he also hates. Okay, so the wizard is like a one-man DARPA thing here. Ready for that? Yeah. But real fun, like little, like toy clowns and stuff, but then they do kill terrorists. Right.

and in Thunder and Paradise Hulk Hogan is Hulk Hogan so you can have when this is your power you can have all the powers of a Hulk Hogan plus you have a sentient talking speedboat Oh man I cannot wait for the point of the fight where the enemy's moves just stopped working on me

and then I could hit them with my boat Yeah you can just no sell it No sell it and then hit them with a speedboat Perfectly reasonable solution So instead of like a lot of thunder A tiny clown murdering terror I'm just going to bury these terrorists that they have to fucking go to change promotions. All right, so I'm going to take a problem, a problem scenario from another one of these like 70s, 80s action shows.

This one's from McGiver, Season 7, Episode 6. It's called Walking Dead. I don't have to tell you this, but McGuiver is a beloved fixture in Los Angeles's famous Little Haiti. Everybody knows about Little Haiti, right? Of course. How beloved McGiver is there. He will only treat his hockey injuries with voodoo medicine from high priestess Mama Lorraine. Scans. Everybody knows this.

Super quickly, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Now Mama Lorraine's niece has just been abducted by the Tonton Makoot. The L.A. branch of the Tantan Nakut. I'm familiar with them from that shrunken heads video that we watched. Yeah.

the LA branch. They turned her niece into a zombie using blowfish powder, as the Tantan Makoot does. She is now on a stage inside the L.A. sewers. They set up a stage in the sewers. Oh my God.

She's the guest of honor at a voodoo ceremony hosted by a man calling himself Baron Samdi. This is awesome. If McGiver... I am so glad McGiver has a you only live twice.

Yeah, he done this. You're right. That's what this is. Maybe more problematic, though. If McGiver doesn't get the antidote to the niece within the next five minutes, she will remain a zombie forever. Now, as McGiver, he's backstage

in the voodoo green room because it's a really nice sewer. And there's only one exit from this room. There's a ladder leading down to the backstage. area. He's in there with the guy playing Baron Somdi and Baron Somdi is about to leave for the stage and he will leave he will lose his chance to save the girl forever.

So this is the first problem. We've got to we've got to stop Baron Samdi using only the stuff that would be in a voodoo sewer green room and and whatever power you get from this. DeNard that's our guest it's customary to give you first choice you have mannimal wizard or Hulk Hogan speedboat powers choose one tell me how you use it to solve this problem all right so we got to choose carefully because by default magiver's kind of fucked here this is not a little bit okay so manimal is just

gamer optimization right out because changing changes forever I'm going to turn it to fucking monkey and she's going to be fully zombieed out forever by the time I could sling around it. It's going to take way longer than five minutes to show a monkey. Now, why did you choose the monkey? Why did I choose the monkey? It doesn't really matter what I choose. She's kind of boned by the time I finish shifting, but at least a monkey is out of terrestrial. So I would have gone with a half, a half crocodile, handsome and sweet of character.

That would have been smart. Can Mammel do that? Who knows? Has he tried? I think what he'd have to do is turn into a crocodile and then like have like his watch alarm go off halfway into it Yeah just stop halfway through Yeah

It's a it's manimal gooning That's how we do Okay so if manamol is like three monitors he can do that Yeah All right alright alright I still don't know what gooning is Okay so Is it when you turn mostly into a crocodile But not you're not quite jerking off

Yes Okay I think Gooning is basically joking for a low-achieving generation. So now the The wizard is

it's looking up I think it might be overcomplicating things for how narrow a time frame we have all this engineering so I really got to go with I didn't start no selling Baron Savetti like the boat is nice

but we got a Hulk out to win this one Okay You've chosen a Hulk Club How do you stop? How do I stop him? That's a great question. So at first he's really going to have me on the ropes, right? Like he's just sorcering all over me. Then I'm going to remember that I am an American with the power

of America and tear my shirt off. Hell yes. This is all, there's going to be a lot of flailing that ends in a leg drop. Wait, wait, I have a can I jump in? I have an idea here. Well, you're up next. Oh, okay. So maybe you want to save your idea. Or you can help him, much. Yeah, I'm fine helping. What I'm thinking is in this story note, I want him to say, like, your powers of America are useless here. This is Little Haiti.

And I feel like this technicality will put Hulk on the ropes. And this is his opportunity to call in Thunder. It's like, oh, Thunder, America is not working, brother. I need you here, Pronto, dude. And then the speed boat can shoot through the sewers, which is like, that's why we set it in the sewers so we could use the boat, right? Uh-huh. That's good.

There we go. There we go. It comes through. It comes through. And hopefully the boat doesn't, like, I don't know, smash the, the girl we're saving or whatever, but assuming that goes fine. So, you know, the Baron limps out. He does his highly protected finisher like four times. I'm just gonna still just no sell it like every time.

It is wind. Nothing is fucking happening here. And then leg drop, it's like he fucking explodes. Yeah. And then the boat says, don't you see Hulk? Even little Haiti is America. Wait, he wouldn't say that to Hulk. Colchogen.

Colchogan would be like, no, brother. It's like, no, brother. That's three-fifths of America right there. And then credits. I got a no-sell that one, Thunder. Pretty good. You get some points for that. The correct solution as it happens in McGuiver is, you just push him down the ladder.

That'll do it. Yeah. No McGiver devices. you don't like scrape some rust off a pipe and make a flash bomb. You push them down the lab. You forget that McGiver can push and punch. So some of the solutions are not like gathering wires and paperclips. It's just punching somebody.

Okay. And now your next problem, Sean, to you, your problem is still from McGiver's Walking Dead episode. Normally I vary these up, but these are complicated problems in McGiVeyer. So we're going to take them by stages. So the problem now is everyone is downstairs waiting for a voodoo god to show up on stage. And you just pushed him down a fucking ladder. Okay. Please choose.

Manimal, Wizard, or Hulk Hogan speedboat powers. Tell me how you solve this problem. Okay. So the plan is probably to disguise myself as the voodoo king and be like, everything's fine. I'm here. Or I need some kind of distraction. What if I'm taking the wizard, the toy genius who works for the government,

and I'm going to. make a bunch of voodoo dolls. And I'm going to distribute them. I'm going to act like I work for the guy. I'm going to come out. And I'm just some little dude. I'm handing everyone dolls. Get your dolls.

Get your dolls. Everyone needs the dolls for the big voodoo ceremony. And then the dolls are, I don't know why we got to be cute about it. They're grenades. Everyone explodes because of the voodoo dolls, which are actually grenades. But like their heads turn to them and say like,

time for us? surprise or this this doll's a knockout this is a stupid shit you get it mm-hmm I would have gone for some sort of voodoo pun that we couldn't repeat on right yeah some some vaguely racist voodoo pun would be perfect just a long censored silence you can kind of hear the room tone being cut out of the recording really putting the black and black magic no yeah no no no no no no no sorry this is just toys malfunctioning this was not meant to say that. Shit.

I did not design that one. You can't. I know we're being real. I outsource some of the toys. That's the problem with the AI today. It's like the racism gets baked into that first generation. You just can't get it out of the algorithm. And then you get the idea.

That's pretty good. You get like the AI basic racism off of another AI's racism. It just comes out of this weird congealed mush. Yeah. I like a crisp racism. A frown. I like the sock. Yeah.

I like it. some snap to it. That's really good, Sean. The correct solution as it happens in the show is McGiver puts on Blackface. Incredible. Oh, shit. Did it work to people say like, oh, hey, it's our leader.

It's our cult leader. Well, let's find out. In a white hockey moment. So, you know, Blackface is always a magical solution to a problem. But always. Specifically, McGiver, the person whose only thing is coming up

with things in stressful situations. Really, really smart things. Really smart things. Really intelligent things. Says, oh shit. Only one force could save us today. Uh-huh. He looks around this room and he's like, what do I have?

I have all the chemicals and foundations in the makeup. I have these voodoo ingredients. I have this man's costume here with me. What can I do? Blackface. And you know what? They are, I bet their show, so shot. that he has like an extra 30 seconds of reaction time and they say is that a fucking cop in blackface

again always this is why we started holding him in the sewers like it's always still fine enough all right for our final round there's a little twist you can each have all three powers all three powers to solve this problem this one again from mcgyver's walking dead episode the problem is There's a sewer full of black people downstairs, and you're about to go on stage in blackface. Shit. Dinar, let's have you go first. You have all three powers. Manimal Wizard, Hulk Hogan Speedboat. How do you solve this problem?

All right, so I guess first I'll use my manimal powers to make the blackface features directly physical. Like, this is, I am now a horrible racial caricature monstrosity. It's not only, like, makeup and filler. this is like this is like HP Lovecraft's imagination minus fish so you you gooned it

you're like second frame animal morph that second yeah it's like a pure just be like no no there's something wrong with me like medically wrong with me I am now like a

racially charged bloodbored thing all right and how the wizard and speedboat powers hmm the wizard and speed vote powers.

You don't have to use them, but you can. I think, well, I guess with the wizard powers, I can really make some advanced, like, sort of like martial arts kind of tap dancing shoes for this blackface setup. Like, I'm really, I'm thinking

if the only way through this episode is as much racism until, like, the film ignites itself and no one can distribute it. Well, that's a good plan. So I'm going to go those and then. Go into the racism. I wouldn't have thought of that. You just bring Hulk Hogan off.

I'm just Hulk Hogan. I'm just talking like Hulk Hogan. I am just giving authentic Hulk Hogan dialogue in real life about this situation in which I'm going to confront several African-American gentlemen. Now is the hope here that they will like flee in disgust and not kill you or is that they'll be like, fuck, all right, he's really committing. That's kind of funny. I think that I'm, I think this is only ending in.

in violence. I can't... Okay. Yeah. You're going to die, but you're going to die how you lived extremely racist.

All right. See, I would have gone a different direction. I was going to... Okay, you're up. Okay. I was going to just completely panic.

I was going to use my manual powers to just turn into most of an ostrich, but with like sort of an ape head still in the black face and just shitting.

Just shitting and sheer panic. My wizard powers are just launching submarines, helicopters, toy soldiers, every direction. People are being maimed. The girl I'm there to see saved,

dismembered, completely dismembered by toys. Hulk Hogan comes in on Thunder doesn't quite see what the problem is. It's like, Blackface, it's pretty funny, dude. Totally authentic. And Thunder just like slowly, in shame, leaves us to be killed as it abandons us down the sewers. Thunder goes way down, just putter as it. turns around. I know enough about myself to know if I found myself in the situation, I would have no idea what to do. Thunder is just like trying to pull its hat down over its face. Yeah, exactly. The shows over there, folks. He's putting on his shame cloaking device, so we can't

see him. It's a very tough place for a Knight Rider, you know? You know what? I'm going to call you both winners. You've both won this one. Because what happens on the actual television show is McGiver puts on white face over the black face. I think I could see time. Hold on. I think my, the recursion here. Like I thought I created a cosmic, like, racism, horror, and all it took was a layer of white face over the black face. This is how you get, like, the little holes in reality that things come out of.

You know that, right? Yeah, this is how, that's our business model. That's where we get our art. That is true. And then if I can predict, I haven't seen this episode, but I bet what happens is half of it gets washed off. So he's half white, half black. And he makes a point of how, like, God, we're all the same in the cleansing waters of the sewers. No, he goes on stage pretending to be Baron Samdi and he does the voice.

Oh, my God. But now he's in white face on the black face and he does the voice. Well, Baron Sambi has the white face. But first he felt the need to apply the black face. Oh, I get it. on. Like, like, not disguising himself as a white person, but like the white, like, voodoo magic face.

Like, my makeup. Oh, but underneath it, he still has the black face. Well, I mean, you want to, you've got to be a method actor, you don't want to go in there. Without confidence. And then confidently starts doing the voice.

What a world. McGiver. Is she fully zombed out by this point? Like, wasn't there a time of it here? Oh, who cares? The spectacle is on the stage, man. McGiver is doing blackface. My fucking MacGymer? And remember, he's a beloved fixture in Little Haiti.

They all know him. So they're like, McGiver, are you doing blackface white face? We came here with a goal. And by now, she is more so than anyone in the background of like Resident Evil 5 completely. Just, just vanished, just gone. We got bigger problems. than that girl. Okay, she can deal with her Angel Dust Hangover or whatever.

The show must go on. Oh, God, that's such a... The story behind that was that I... It was on Tobey and I was like, you know what? Yeah, I could watch some McGiver and I opened it up and I picked one episode at random and it was this episode.

That feels like something. It's the only one I watched. I think that... That's like Destiny? Wow. Is that Destiny? Yeah, that's Destiny. It's incredible. That's what Megan said. Megan, my wife, was like,

only you would find that the first episode. Watch. Because she walked in, she walked in as McGiver was doing. And she said like, is McGiver doing blackface, white face? Like, yeah,

yeah, he is?