The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Extra Wiener 74 - Hot Dog Monster Mountain With Jason Pargin

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Brockway has a question: If Seanbaby and guest Jason Pargin are so fuckin' smart, why didn't THEY write Mountain Monsters? He gives them that chance in this special FREE bonus episode!

Extra! Winner! Extra! Winner! Extra! Winner! Extra! Winner! Gather together from the cosmic reaches of the universe. Here in this great hall of justice are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled. Sunbury! Brockway! Guest!

Extra Winner! It's a monster! Let's get out of here! It's a monster! Let's get out of here! It's Extra Winner, the bonus podcast of the Dog Zone 9000, itself a bonus podcast of 1-800-HOT-TOG. We give you too much and you don't appreciate it. I am head of Gully Ape Security, Robert Brockway, and with me is resident Squatchmaster, Sean Baby.

I'm an expert caller. Ka-ka! Hey, Bigfoot! Oh, that's a good one. That'll work. And our guest, Bigfoot Trap Artist, Jason Parjan. Bigfoot Trap Artist. You're a Bigfoot Trap Artist. I cannot imitate the energy of the Trap Artist in this show.

I expected you to come in high-energy hillbilly meth accent. Yeah, I expected Jason Parjan to do that. That was going to be our gift to our fans. To be clear, I have some Sudafed on my desk here. I would need to do some things to it. Yeah, I've got some guides. If you need a little something. And please, above all else, those of you who for some reason

listen to the bonus shows before you listen to the main show, I think people do this because these episodes are shorter and they figure, well, I'll go ahead and do this one first. This will make no sense to you if you have not listened to the main episode this week. Well, jokes on them, we do so many callbacks, it will never make sense. Stop doing that. Yeah. It's a mess.

It's a carefully built nest of jokes and you really need to start at one end. So, today we are going to become the Bigfoot. For ages, he is hidden in the forest, eluded hunters, baffled scientists, and remained a mystery. If you guys think you're so fucking smart, why don't you write the finale of Mountain Monsters vs. Psychic Bigfoot? Like right now? I'm ready. Yeah.

Oh, I'm going to give you prompts and you're just going to tell me. Should we maybe take turns? No, this is going to be a team effort. We start the episode by meeting with Aaron, Psychic Bigfoot expert. What does he look like? Oh, boy. Is there any chance that he has some sort of scraggly facial hair and is wearing camouflage?

My God. I told you not to watch this episode. How could you have known that? All right, fine. I was going to say seek turban and beautiful silk robes. Yeah, because the show is known for its diverse casts. See, we're not doing points really, but if there were, I'd give it to Sean Baby

because he didn't cheat like you clearly did. All right, where do you meet Aaron, Psychic Bigfoot expert? The woods. Fucking. You're cheating again. Specifically. Go ahead. I was going to say some patch of somebody's property

that seemed to have trees in the back. You are 100% correct. It is the woods, but it's also somebody's property in that they try to play it off like he lives in what looks like a third of a garden shed on a trailer in like the corner of somebody's property. I'm going to say it's in the same yard. Yeah, they got access to it.

So do they say what his qualifications are for being a Psychic Bigfoot expert? Like what certifications does he have or what degree? I believe he has an associates degree in big feet in general and then has become psychically certified probably much later. It's just a, I think it's an intensive two month course. Okay, makes sense. Okay, so we've already determined,

I've already spoiled the next question for you, which is the Cherokee Devil can only be seen alone. And that is because he only manifests from spirit to physical form when you're alone. And seeing further seeing him, it actually works like the ring curse. You could go missing weeks or even months later. So nobody from the first episode is safe.

If Bigfoot has psychically controlled you, he's going to get you and it's just a matter of time. I have a question. Sure. Say you're looking at Psychic Bigfoot and then someone else shows up and now he can't physically manifest. But then another, a third guy comes and walks into the space where Psychic Bigfoot is standing.

Do they bump into him or do they pass through him? I think they pass through him unless the second person looks away but the first person doesn't, which technically counts as you being alone again. And then that's how Psychic Bigfoot reproduces. He absorbs the second man and splits. So if you're standing where he's standing and then only one person is looking at him,

he forms again while you're standing in his, like, presence. Yeah, it's like the fly scenario but then like mitosis. Psychic Bigfoot mitosis divides and reproduces and it's beautiful in its way as all life is. Well, for this guy to have nailed down the exact specifics of how it works, it must be across hundreds of documented, well-documented peer reviewed encounters that they're able to discern these patterns.

Yeah, he's got a piece of paper and everything. Holy fuck. He's got a single piece of paper that he consults. Like from a printer? Like from a printer. He also gives an important little bit of information where he says there are other Psychic Bigfoot victims that have gone missing.

That's how we know that seeing him works like the ring curse. Okay, so someone said I was a Psychic Bigfoot victim and then they go missing. Yes. In other words, someone who lives in Appalachia who claimed they had a blackout period that they attributed to Psychic Bigfoot, months later they disappeared. And it appears as though they died in a jet ski accident

but we all know the truth. Okay, so how are you going to catch Psychic Bigfoot? We've got a bridge strap all built. Well, but we've got to lure the Bigfoot to it somehow. How do you lure, right? Are they going to have to build like some sort of a fake Cherokee little girl out of straw or something? I like the idea of bait, but I think they'll just use huckleberry or buck.

That is completely correct. You are so good at this. You are going to use the bridge strap. You are going to use buck for bait. He wants to because his life is not worth living since he's become Bigfoot's brain slave. I guess there's another tearful breakdown about that. Jesus Christ.

What are the symptoms he's having? He just really vaguely doesn't feel like himself and he can't stand it. There's lots of, I can't take it and I can't stand it and I don't feel like myself and I need to do this. And the team has a huge fight. Again, conflict must be introduced here. Like when they all disagreed whether or not a Bigfoot could be Psychic for no reason, they also decide on this plan

and then half of them are like, hell no, buck, you're never going to do that. We're never going to let you do that. I was like, well, we have to do it. That's the fallen out. Buck and Huckleberry, the only ones who have been mentally controlled by Psychic Bigfoot, sneak off alone that night. Where do they go and what do they do? I mean, there's only been two locations so far.

There's that bush and there's that little building. So I only know of two locations. Well, I guess the trap is a third location, but are they going out there early to go ahead and try to, they wouldn't try to be bait without the rest of their team there to help them? I bet Buck goes to the shed and I bet Huckleberry goes to the totem pole. You are going to be correct. They don't split up to go to the totem, but they do revisit the shed, of course. Is that the fifth time?

I believe it's over that. They've spent a lot of time in a shed in somebody's backyard, as though it is a major set piece, and it's time to go back. Again, please remember at the break, they said we're going to go home, we're going to arm up, we're going to rest. Supposedly a good deal of time has passed where they left their mantrap in the woods unattended, and they've just come back to crash in this shed again. That's the first place they're going.

And wouldn't you know it, they find what? Cherokee Ghost Girl. My God, how are you doing this? This is impossible. I swear I didn't watch the episode. It's just they only have done the two things. What mastermind could have predicted how these beats would go. They find the Cherokee girl and she hints them to mysterious cryptic writing,

as well as a child's drawing of Bigfoot and the little Cherokee girl. The cryptic writing is the key, but how do you break this encryption? I mean, they met that guy, that psychic Bigfoot expert, he would be able to read this, right? Or is the totem pole somehow have a key on it? Oh, that's it, it's totem pole. That would be brilliant, but it's just written backwards. It takes them a while too. They're like, oh, what if?

What if? Bear with me. So it's English letters, English letters backwards, and they're like, what the fuck are these? That's incredible. And it says, this is just I'm going to interject here if it's OK. That is my favorite trope in all of movies, adventure movies, anything like that is where the adventure you're. And not necessarily in Indiana Jones thing, but like the more cut rate ones are in this happens in the game, video games like the Nathan Drake type thing where there's some riddle that's 2000 years old.

And the solution is just like, wait a second, they said the name of the city was Emore. What if it's Rome spelled backward? And it always implies that for the last 2000 years, no one tried that. They've been stumped. Like, god damn. Because writers of movies and TV shows, like they're not expert cryptographers, they're not going to come up with some. Yeah, you're not smarter than the people trying to solve that. So it's always some really basic word jumbled type thing.

And I know that the the Da Vinci code books, it's a lot of that same thing where it's these codes that are something like a child could solve. But it takes this expert symbologist or whatever his thing is. And it's like, this has been the mystery literally going back to the Old Testament. Wasn't it Apple? Like, like it was something like it is round and filled with seeds. You plant it and it's just like, well, it sounds like you're talking about an Apple, Tom Hanks. And it was. I would have loved if they had to bring in the expert for this.

It's like they came and saw the backwards writing like, we got to get Aaron in here. We're on a big foot expert. Well, little known fact, all big feet right backwards on account of their left handed. Again, I cannot emphasize it. It was legitimately annoying to me how little effort they put into this job. And I know that this is not a big budget show. I know that the show like this. What cable network does this air on?

Travel Channel Plus. Yeah, it's like these episodes are literally the ratings are literally smaller than like this episode of the podcast. It's not. It's in the thousands of people that are watching this. So I get it. This is done on a shoestring budget. But some of this is just effort and not. Like, I get that they feel like they're giving their effort when they do their falls in the woods.

And I realize they are selling themselves out completely for those falls. They're not doing them halfway. They are fully, fully falling down to the point that you get concerned. A lot of the other elements of the show, I feel like just a little bit, just like one afternoon of throwing some things together would have made it would have made it better. Agreed. See, I think I think the opposite is true. And I think they're trying their hardest. I think they're doing their best.

And I respect them. I think it probably took them an afternoon. Eight or nine letters are exactly the fucking same in reverse. Like, for example, for example, like H in one of the words, which is help is one of the words are written. So the first letter H 370. I can't make sense of it. The messages say help and leave. So the first letter is H.

It's not. It's not. Anyway, OK. Like when people saw the Toys R Us logo, they weren't like, what the fuck does it mean? Bigfoot. That's bigfoot writing. This is a bigfoot shack. I can tell.

All right, speaking of Bigfoot Shacks, something bangs on the shed. Whispers a Cherokee word that only Buck can hear. It's the Cherokee word for devil. Huckleberry's got the react line. What does he say? I knew it. I don't know. Get that son of a bitch.

Devil, he must be talking about my ex-wav. There it is. He says, well, that got me freak the hell plum out. I would have got there. I would have got there. Yeah. All right. Now we've got an integral moment.

The whole team gets together, including the trap boys to revisit the shed and solve the mystery. One problem. What is it? There's no marriage certificate for his marriage to the tiny ghost girl. Living in sin. There is, but it's printed backwards. Okay, now hold on. Have they found the two previously possessed Bigfoot guys?

They're now all together? Yes, they're all together, but they face a problem having returned to visit the shed. What is it? Buck and Huckleberry or fucking? Is that a problem? Well, no one wants to see Huckleberry naked. That's been like the fucking running theme of the show. Is it a problem or is it an inevitability of love?

Is it possible that a third person gets possessed by the Cherokee Devil? No, that would be stupid. The problem is the shed is gone. It's gone. They just walked the wrong direction in the dark. Only it's not. It's actually hidden behind weeds that have cropped up overnight, or have they? What the fuck?

That's to you guys, have they? So the psychic Bigfoot can now control vegetation? Yes. That seems reasonable. That seems reasonable. I'm on board. They have not. Bigfoot pulled out a bunch of weeds and just jammed them into the ground to camouflage the shack.

Like he planted them? No, he just like he broke them off and jammed them into the ground. Okay. He built a little deer blind around the shack. And here's the thing, it completely worked on them for like a good five minutes. Fucking Bigfoot. So in the universe, what is the purpose? What was Bigfoot's goal?

Was he open? They would never find it? Yes. That would imply that Bigfoot has an incredibly low opinion of these guys, which having been inside two of their brains. He's like, yeah, you know what? I'm just going to stick some flowers like in the ground around it and I should do it. I'm going back to my dome.

Back to the big foot dome. This is a Bigfoot plan. This is a good Bigfoot plan. Okay. Now, something won't work about this bridge plan. You've just realized it. This team has just realized it. But you need buck out there for bait.

So what do you do? How do you fix this? What's your plan? You need buck out there for bait. You've got a bridge. Do they have some sort of a delicious pie they could use to lure buck onto the bridge? Well, buck is going to go because he doesn't want to be a brain slave to Bigfoot anymore. Okay.

But your problem is you don't want him to go because it's unsafe. So how do you solve that problem? Oh, you put the pie somewhere else. Put the pie knot on the bridge. Easy. Put it in the golf cart and drive very slowly and just lead him home. You take the spark plug out of his truck. No, it's so easy.

You're going to kick it. You have your boys build a shark cage for Bigfoot's. And buck goes inside it. Oh, I see. This is just to keep him safe. Yes, four big foots. Can you describe for me the shark cage they built for him? I'm going to ask you to do that.

Is it? I hope you get multiple choice. No, no, no. You described to me based on what you have seen of their engineering and their materials. What could this possibly be made out of? I'm going to say a rough rectangular shape of chain link fence. That is absolutely correct. I still believe you're cheating.

It is loose pieces of wood and a section of chain link fence, which is what they have access to. I grew up real country. I'm just trying to think what I would do if I was 10 years old, building some big foot traps. So far, I think both of you have earned admission onto the Ames team to hunt big feet. I think this is the test. I would climb trees with Wild Bill all day.

I'd be like, well, this is how you go down a tree. The problem is running up it with that meth stickiness with them little gecko meth hands that he has. I like because he climbed up the tree and it hit him about eight steps up that he is an old man. He's like, oh, I think I'm craving up. And then he realized, wait, I don't give a shit about human pain. And then he kept going.

And then he fell three stories onto his back. But he's OK until the meth wears off, which it will never do. Yes, it will never. All right. You're back at the shed and a random dude in a denim vest shows up. This is, well, it's just some guy's yard, but it's supposed to be the woods of North Carolina. Something's off about this guy.

What's going on here? He's probably, is he, can you say what race he is? Is he a chair? He's a white man with a mullet and a denim vest because this, again, is North Carolina. OK. It's a redundant question. I already explained. So this is not a situation where they're going to find out he's secretly being mined,

slaved by Bigfoot. This is exactly a situation in which they find out he's being secretly mined, slaved by Bigfoot to act on his behalf because he attacks. He grabs some overweight gentlemen and he laughs and shakes them and everybody is very scared. But before they drive away, denim vest, he again points to the rear of the shed where there's fresh Cherokee writing. They look back.

Oh my God, denim vest. But what happened to denim vest? I think Wild Bill probably fucked him up. He's either disappeared or he's nude. He has disappeared and with only three minutes of off-screen camera time to wander off into the woods. They act like it's amazing, but again, like three full minutes as they sit there and they contemplate the Cherokee, right?

And they're like, now is this one backwards? They actually say that. And they're like, no, I think it's Cherokee. I think it's backwards Cherokee. So they contemplate this for like three minutes and then remember to look up and they're like, oh, he's gone. He just had so much time to walk away. And if Bigfoot sent a human mind slave to fight me and my friends, we would beat that guy's

ass, scream into the night, we've destroyed your champion, Bigfoot. Like you don't, you don't send a human champion against Wild Bill. You're a Bigfoot. You're mind control a bear if that's who you're fighting. Bigfoot's psychic harem is one less. Wild Bill and Willie using pure meth ingenuity have built a hillbilly mansion out of logs and chain link. It has a shower out back, a full cover deck, but what's the best part of this hill folk mansion?

It has some kind of an indoor toilet. That is exactly correct. God, you're so weird at this. They built themselves an outdoor or an indoor outhouse out of a toilet seat cut into a plastic folding chair inside a zip up tent. And Wild Bill says, it's every man's dream out here in Wild America. Good place to release a meal, smooth sailing top notch. Wild Bill is just really unpleasant.

Do the listeners think that me and Sean both watched the episode and that we're just doing a bit? Pretending like we had it. We're fucking nailing it. Because I want to let you, I want to let the listeners know I watched this on Amazon Prime meeting. I had to pay $3 per episode to watch it. I was not going to spend a second $3 to watch part two of this.

And in fact, again, I was visibly agitated when I found out that they had stretched the little footage they had shot into two episodes and were then charging me on a per episode basis. That felt like borderline fraud. Now, see, I personally, I don't know, it's up to our listeners to decide if they trust in your integrity or if this is the last big foot line that they will draw on the sand and never listen to you on big foot matters again. But I trust you.

I figured you were going to get, I don't know, most of these because it's written by idiots. And they have access to four things. It's premise. Yeah. It wasn't going to be a thing where they're going to bring in a helicopter to dangle the guy in front of the big foot trap. You can guess that they pretty much had to work with the four things they had on hand.

So here's a problem. Trapper finally realizes we are an hour and a half into this big foot saga. If this big foot is psychic, he already knows the plan. Okay. What are they going to do about it? Well, they have to do something that even they themselves couldn't predict. They do a bunch of math. They got to get meth brained.

Where you never know what you're going to do next. Yeah. Then the future becomes impenetrable from the meth fog. That's pretty close. Jason, do you have a guess? I was going to say they just hand wave it away and ignore it. That is absolutely correct. They do nothing and hope that it still works.

Why did they even bring it up? It's fucking stupid show. So far between the two of you, every single question. Correct. I believe Jeff. Jeff, the researcher has brought a booger man mask and they stick with that pronunciation. And he made it. It's of the Cherokee devil.

It looks like a racist fifth grade C minus arts and crafts project, but it will protect the camp while they sleep. Right? Okay. Maybe. Where did they read this? He does not explain if he did read it at all. He may have just made it up, but will it protect the camp as they sleep?

Okay. Well, now here we've got a difficult choice, Sean, because either they had time to stage another big foot attack or they again did not. And we're forced to just say, no, the night passed without incident. Now, see, I feel like they're natural storytellers. They know they need a twist whenever possible. And there's no greater twist than your big foot mask not working. You are both correct in that they wake up at three in the morning and Buck has vanished

into thin air and the mask is gone. Buck took the mask. What happened? Mine controlled my big foot to remove the mask to eliminate their protection to allow him to get them. Jason. Boy, it's that is as straightforward an answer and that that's always correct. I'm trying to think of a possible dumber thing that could happen.

Please do. It's dumber than mine. God damn it. I just want him to think that I would like to have one option dumber than the next. Yeah, the only thing. I can think of a zip when they were shooting it like some sort of animal came and ran off with the mask. Damn coyotes.

Shouldn't have made it out of ham. Yeah, and then Buck has to come back with some story about how he saw the big foot running off with the mask and he pursued but it was futile. No, I'm sorry. It's the first one. I think it's the first one that you missed. Buck is not mind controlled. He just headed out on his own.

A cameraman goes with him, I think, or he's just recording himself and he says, now, I don't have any real strategic plan. I'm just going to go out here and wander around alone till I figure it out. I can't see a problem with that except that he's been mind controlled twice. And, okay, well, I see what you were trying to prod me to come up with something worse than what they had because this is just nothing. It's just they needed him to be gone for some sort of escalation to happen and they didn't want to think of a thing.

I appreciate that they don't want to overplay the big foot mind possession hand. Right, where are we dealing with the trauma of it? Yeah, they don't want to keep coming back to that well. Now, I do have a question because I feel like the guy who came and fought them, the mind controlled minion, does he ever come back into the story? He does not. So the premise is not that he was a manifestation of the big foot. He is some totally innocent person who lived nearby that the big foot mind molested to

use as an avatar to go after them. Oh, no, no. He is one of the missing people that Aaron, the psychic big foot expert mentioned. Bigfoot keeps them all in, you thought I was joking, big foot psychic harem. Oh, I thought you made up that phrase on the fly. I made up the phrase, but nobody says big foot psychic harem in the show, but that's literally that. But it is that.

He keeps these people around to do his bidding and has sent one of them out there. He's apparently been missing for months and just living in the woods with big foot. So when you saw the condition he was in, did he look like he had been living in the woods for months? No, big foot takes good care of him. He takes good care of him. He cleans them, he grooms them. He had clearly, he had product in his hair.

Bigfoot makes it out of the honeysuckle of his dome. Part of the danger with Buck wandering off on his own is if he's away from his diabetes medicine for four hours, his foot will fucking fall off. We've got some stakes. Yeah. There's always a bit of danger when he's alone. He's not really using them feet too much. So he heads to the shed.

Of course, the rest of the team runs out to search for him. He endures more big foot wall slapping and Cherokee girl whispering because we have two levers to pull and we're just going to pull him over and over again. But when the team arrives, they find only his knife stabbed into the crudely drawn bigfoot and the booger mask is on the ground. Something's beneath it. Something moving. What is it?

Something's beneath the mask and moving? Yeah. God, I mean, I want to say a baby bigfoot. Half Cherokee girl, half bigfoot. But see, even if it was something like a squirrel, that's too much for this show. What would? Yeah, it would have to be a domestic animal if it's a real animal. Like either their pet possum is the most wild varmint they could get or like a house cat.

But I do want to say like bigfoot Minotaur baby. Maybe like they had a special effects budget and they were saving it for this. Or they dressed up a baby in a kind of a gorilla mask. And I don't shake the camera at something like that. You could just cut away and I'm legitimately in suspense. Yeah, I think of what we're going to find under this mask. We've finally gotten so dumb and so bad at the storytelling beats that you could never anticipate this reversal of stakes at this point in the show.

It turns out it's Buck's cell phone vibrating with a message for the team. He recorded it and left it. And I guess he stole the Boogerman mask for no reason other than to hide his cell phone underneath it. And his message just says he's going to take bigfoot down alone by getting in the cage with it. Fucking psychic bigfoot cage match. Oh my God. So he couldn't have called them with his phone. And yet it was vibrating with a message for them.

Okay. What does that mean vibrating with a message? Like he had it set to just constantly vibrate? I guess or like they just received. I don't know. That's like how they receive it. They're like something's under here. Like it's like it's moving or doing something.

So if we're so he texted his own phone to make it vibrate. I guess we all know how cell phones work. But he also stole their cell phone. Hey, vibrate when someone walks nearby. But he did. And he also remember stole their protective fetish to cover his own cell phone. Right. And that was it.

That was his entire motivation. But you don't want bigfoot texting you. And that's the only way to keep bigfoot from texting you with his mind power. You gotta protect your Boogerman mask over it. With Jeff's Boogerman mask. Which you keep around because it would hurt his feelings if you did not hang it up. The team rushes to rescue Buck from the psychic bigfoot cage match. How do they get there?

They tumble down a fucking hill. Yeah, they run and they fall down several times. I don't even. I will give you credit for that. Some of them do run and fall down several times. And the rest pile into their hilariously overloaded golf cart. Amazing. If you'll remember it, it like barely fits four people.

I think it fits like seven at this point. It's a fucking three sewages moment. It's great. Buck is on the bridge. I want to know what brand of golf cart that is. Because if I ever have to buy a golf cart, that's the one. You can see how much it supports. It has some carrying capacity.

They probably blacked out the logo so you can't see. Come on now. The golf cart company has to be. The golf cart company ain't into psychic bigfoot. You know what's funny? I didn't mention this in the main podcast, but there was a sponsorship line in the credits about American chainsaws. So that's that scene where they're just fucking around cutting down trees.

That was product placement. Where he aired chainsaws because it's so bitchy. Yeah. That's to an American chainsaw. I could have just assumed that. Buck is on the bridge and here's big footsteps. Bigfoot's on the bridge with him. Then Bigfoot backs away psychically detecting that it's a trap.

Yeah. What does Bigfoot do about it? I don't know if he could set off a trap with his mind. Maybe he like lets out a predator laugh. Wait, does he really land him? There's not a way to mind control the guy into the trap in an ironic twist of fate. Oh, you're getting too smart.

Because he sees in the. You're being too smart. It's danger. I know it sounds dumb as fuck, but you're both being too smart. Could he teleport Huckleberry into the trap? The bigfoot falls into the trap anyway. No, he walks around the bridge and grabs Buck. Okay.

Because now remember the bridge was spanning, I want to say, a four foot deep gully. Right. So that a trail perfectly went through anyway that they established. People just walk on this. So Bigfoot just walked around the bridge and grabbed Buck. Where did he grab Buck? Hold on.

No, stop, stop, stop, stop, hold on. I'm now picturing a Bigfoot that I can see. Is there a visible Bigfoot in the show? No, he's just off camera. But he's so close. He's so close, you guys. Who is, is there a cameraman filming this? No, at this point, Buck has just a camera open Blair Witch style on himself.

But it's not pointing at Bigfoot. It's just pointing at his own face. Because that's the part you need to document. I know where he grabs him on this exact same spot he grabbed him earlier. That is correct. Drew the hand with lipstick on his arm. He grabs him on the arm again. Bigfoot's just grabbed him on the arm left and right.

He's got a spot. Like an angry stepdad. Anyway, half of these dudes have now been personally and psychically assaulted by Bigfoot in the span of two episodes. It's the best show that's ever been made. They're still the bad guys. They're still the bad guys. The team gets there and they find Buck acting weird.

Is he in a psychic Bigfoot trance again? See, I don't feel like that would be a good, a good arc for him. I feel like this time he would, the whole point would have to be that he mentally fought off the attempt by Bigfoot too. You are exactly correct. That is, that is how we close the Buck arc. Good for Buck. He's waiting to do the big Scooby-Doo mystery wrap up speech.

Uh, he's just sitting on a log waiting for the team to show up. And it turns out Buck was saved and escaped Psychic Bigfoot mastery because of a word that Cherokee girl kept whispering. Audavance. Audavance. What does the word mean? What was the secret of Psychic Bigfoot? A hand job.

Just really wanted a hand job. It's not peace. It's not peace. And the other Cherokee word was devil. That's probably not that. Let's see. Friend. Well, it can't be.

Bigfoot wanted a friend this whole time and he was just, just didn't know his own strength. Every Bigfoot victim that goes missing is just out there like playing tag with him. Freedom? I guess freedom would be a real powerful word. Tell to a Bigfoot in the woods. Getting close. Let's give Jason a guess.

What is this word that solved the mystery of Psychic Bigfoot? What is the word? I guess I don't understand what we mean by solving the mystery of Psychic Bigfoot. It all led up to this, like the Cherokee girl, the writing, the shed. It's all come together. And is it revealing the nature of the Cherokee devil? Like is it explaining? He's a psychic Bigfoot.

So I think his nature is pretty much revealed. Is it? Here they wouldn't throw. Here's what I do, John Deere tractor motor trailer. They wouldn't try to throw in some curveball about something that a word that implies that the Bigfoot is an alien or something like that, right? Like that's not this show. This show isn't. It's not big feet or aliens.

I will give you the same hint I've been giving you all along. Stop being smart. I know that sounds stupid to you. Stop being smart. I have my brain. The Cherokee word for man. Allow me to set this up one more time. Buck, the Indian girl tells a word in her native language to Buck and he speaks this word to Bigfoot.

Oh, it's love. It's got to be love. When the chips are down, this is how he escapes Bigfoot. What does he say? Fuck. I can't believe it's not love. It's not love or I love you or something like that because that was his child, Bigfoot's child bride that taught him this, right? Uh-huh.

Penetration. It is leave. Get the fuck out. Jesus Christ. It's the Cherokee word for leave. That's how I got rid of the gorillas in the Congo book. In the movie, they shoot them with fucking lasers, but in the movie, in the book, they tell the monkeys to go away in monkey language. And that's also exactly what happens with Bigfoot.

Buck speaks the Cherokee word for leave and it turns out that the Bigfoot has to leave if you tell him to. And telling Bigfoot to leave has not only driven him off completely from the woods, it has also dispelled the psychic damage he did to all of his victims. Oh, so they saved that lullet guy? Yeah, they saved everyone. So all of those missing people have been found? Well, now strangely enough, we don't comment on that. But yeah. All of the unsolved crimes that the FBI has on file, all of the missing persons from that state that...

Now, it's crazy, but I think maybe what happened was psychic Bigfoot polluted all of that paperwork to read backwards and nobody can solve it. And this was the season finale of the show. This was the season finale. The end of the season finale is that he told Bigfoot to leave and he did. They stretched that into two episodes. Incredible. All right, we got one line left. Trapper has only one response to this amazing story.

He says it to Buck. He says... That's what I said to my boy when I found out he was gay. If I know it was that easy, I would have tried that a long time ago. Is it possible it would be some sort of a callback to the nudity of the last episode? Something like, oh, that was less messed up than seeing Huckleberry's nuts. Jason's got that. I love that.

Storytellers callback. No, I'm sorry. That's perfect. But what he actually says is, Buck, your Cherokee blood just may have saved your life. And then all the rest of the team joins in and says, again. Okay. I have a question.

This is a running bit that Buck's Cherokee heritage saves his life in every season of the show. Have you seen all of the previous episodes of this show? I've not. I've seen Scattershot like six episodes total. I've seen two from like later seasons. But I love the implication that like a running theme of this show is Buck's Cherokee blood just keeps saving his life. It is pretty handy. When you saw the final word there, do you get the sense that they needed multiple takes to get the again done in unison?

I mean, it wasn't fully in unison. They all just, it's like us clapping. It was just kind of all over the place in unison in theory. So how many episodes of this show have they made? Well, I don't know the total number of episodes, but I do know there are eight seasons spanning a super epic wherein they fight. Not they branch out from fighting Bigfoot. Even though they found, like I said, they find a sheep themed Bigfoot. They find a lightning themed Bigfoot.

They find like a Bigfoot that can turn into smoke. But then they also branch into all sorts of Mr. They find a Chupacabra. They fight some like Cherokee wolf demons. A rogue monster hunter team comes into existence and starts sabotaging them. And eventually they give them a jigsaw style video that they find in a barn where they challenge them to find and defeat a select number of monsters like a video game quest. And that's then the next season is going to be them knocking down the fetch quest. Of the supernatural monsters given to them by the enemy team and and it rules and it's the best show and everybody should watch it.

And I'm sorry we even made fun of it. We were wrong everybody. Again.