The Dogg Zzone by 1900HOTDOG - Extra Wiener - Brothers & Barbarians with William Sellari!

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

Heads up: You definitely have to listen to the Dogg Zzone 9000, Episode 63 - Twin Sitters, before listening to this one. We just burned an entire episode of our main podcast on the 1994 action comedy Twinsitters, starring the Barbarian Brothers, only to realize it didn't really have an ending. Brockway orders Seanbaby and special guest William Sellari to fix that -- and they have to do it! For Brockway is... THE BARBARIANMASTER.

Extra! Winner! Extra! Winner! Extra! Winner! Gather together from the cosmic reaches of the universe. Here in this great hall of justice are the most powerful forces of good ever assembled. Shumberry! Brockway! Guest! Extra-Wiener! It's a monster! Let's get out of here! It's a monster! Let's get out of here! It's Extra-Wiener, the bonus podcast of the Dog Zone 9000. It's self a bonus podcast of 1,900 hot dog. You're welcome. Yeah!

I'm Anime Stripper Policeman Robert Brockway and with me as always is Jazzercise Pirate Sean Baby and our guest... I'm... Go ahead. I was just gonna say I'm wearing a Godzilla spine and a bedpan on a necklace. You're so lucky that was good. And our guest in an understated propeller beanie, William Salari. Thank you. And today we'll be rolling initiative.

No. Roll initiative. 17. Yeah, are we doing... Shadowrun or are we doing D&D? You can check your inboxes right now and see what I've just sent you. Sean, quickly explain what I sent to you. Just surface level thoughts, I'll break it down. Alright, I have Peter Falcone's character sheet and I'm wearing a Nazi helmet, a denim sports bra with five law enforcement badges on it.

I've got candy cane bracelets on my left wrist and it looks like a full arm brace on my right. At least one belt, it's hard to tell in the shadows, but I have size XXXL pants cinched up and I have a meat rating of 100 out of 100. My bulk is 18, which is a plus four bonus. My lift is 16, which is a plus three bonus and my toad is one die 12 plus three. I have four special abilities. I can summon twins and he set a twins from pop culture to help me in a non-combat role. Horse noise, heal all barbarians for one half of missing HP. And Cucadaspaget gives my opponent a disadvantage for the next round and I have Barbarian fashion check, which gives myself advantage next round plus a sweet new outfit.

Yeah. Nice. Alright, well, you've gone through your character sheet. So, Will, your character sheet. I'm similar. You have the pants that Sean mentioned. I am wearing two belts because the pants I assume are so big that you need two belts. I have a tube of flesh colored fabric around me that maybe was a shirt at one point, but one sleeve is like large enough to fit a car through.

And of course, I have a nice matching in that same kind of flesh palette do rag bandana on. And give me your stats real quick. My stats are a little, we're twins, but different, right? So, my meat is 80 of 80. Bulk is 16 with plus three. Lift of 18 plus four, two of 1d12 plus four. I have similar, I think all similar skill sets to my twin brother. You share the skill sets.

Yeah. Fantastic. I look forward to using all of that. We are playing brothers and barbarians. Your meat is your hit points. Your bulk rating is your armor class. How much natural protective gains you have cultivated. It also dictates your meat points and any meat related checks.

Your lift is your attack rating. What you'll add to attack rules. See if you hit. It also dictates your toad. How much you can lift is how much attitude you can get away with. Am I right? And it will also dictate any checks you make on any and all forms of lifting, which of course is most of life. Your toad, what kids call attitude, is your damage for all attacks.

And if you're wondering where dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, any of the rest come in, fuck you. Don't need them. All the barbarian needs is meat, bulk, lift and toad. Every action in life is just a bulk up or a lift up modified by your meat and toad. Here's where the game mechanics come in. You can burn a barbarian point once each turn as a bonus action to activate your brother powers. These are Summon Twins, Horse Noise, Cooka the Spaghetti, or Barbarian Fashion Check. Summon Twins allows you to summon any twins you can think of from pop culture to carry out one action that assists you in a non combat way.

Horse Noise is a rallying cry. It will restore half of both your missing hit points. Cooka the Spaghetti chokes your opponent out with spaghetti sauce. It does no damage, but does give them disadvantage on their next move. And with Barbarian Fashion Check, you spin around like a magical anime girl. Your clothes blasting off of your body. New ones materializing on you as light while a naked preteen spins around inside a rose. It ultimately transforms you into a new unlikely outfit.

You tell me what that outfit is and how it gives you advantage on the next round. Got it? All right. All right. It's night. You stand on the deck of a cargo ship. A cold breeze snicks over your bare biceps, the ocean air bringing salt to flavor your meat. For you are very meat.

Strong, the greater evil stands before you roughly 50 feet away. He is armed with pistol and armored with trench coat. To his left is a giant vat of trucker slime. Below it is a spigot and an old-timey wheel valve. To the right is the edge of the ship and the water far below. Poisoned, of course, with trucker slime. Above you is a cargo net leading to a crane, but it's torn and unclimable. Behind you is a giant globe for reasons that, god damn it, Sean.

I cannot believe you didn't use it. You have to use the giant globe. A series of unlikely pipes and the corpses of budget ninjas provide minimal cover between you and him. We are going to fix the terrible, disappointing boss scene of Twin Sitters. So now you face Strom and you're giving me those initiative rolls one more time. All right. I'll roll a new one. I have an 18.

I got a 15. All right. Your order is Sean, Will, and then Strom. So, Sean, you're up first. Facing down Strom, you've got everything I described going on. I'm going to... I need to use a barbarian point to activate my special abilities, right? If you want to use any of those four abilities at the bottom, yes.

Okay. How many barbarian points do we have? Oh, that's right. I didn't tell you. You have Sean. You have nine. Will, you have 15. I did not expect...

Wow. Damn. I did not expect you to have this many barbarian points. I thought it was going to be like in an emergency, you use one or two of these pumps. I'm a little bit of a ringer. All right. I need to do two things at once. I need to open up that slime valve, get that trucker slime out.

Yeah, that's a must. We got to get that in play. Also, I've got to throw that globe. So, I'm going to need to summon twins. I'm going to summon twins. I'm going to summon the Jean-Claude Van Damme twins from Replicant. Fuck yeah. Because one of them was a serial killer.

From Replicant. And I feel like, yes. Those are not the Jean-Claude Van Damme twins. I thought you were going to do that. There was an evil Jean-Claude Van Damme in that movie and they made a clone of him hoping that he would have a psychic connection to the serial killer and they could use that clone psychic connection to catch the serial killers. Now, that sounds crazy, but it's crazy that it worked.

And so, these two twins have a very tight psychic connection. The serial killer will open up the valve because I really feel like he won't have any ethical qualms with just dumping radioactive toxic waste into the room where we're all standing along with the children. And the other Jean-Claude Van Damme is just going to go up and throw the ball. He's kind of a clone idiot. And so, he's not going to throw anything in particular. Plus, it has to be a non-combat role.

So, obviously, you can't throw it at strong. So, that's my move. Okay. These are your barbarian powers. They are a bonus action. So, you get a move. Since you pulled it first, you can respond to something that they have done. So, that ball is coming at you.

Okay. I'm going to try to catch that ball so that I will have a ranged weapon. Give me a lift check. Okay. Rolling my lift. I rolled a three boat. I have a plus three bonus. That's a six.

That's a bad roll. You do not catch the ball. The ball hits you smack in the face. Then, I swear to God, there's the loudest bowling sound effect. Clattering. I try to drown it out in embarrassment. I try to drown out the bowling sound with a Laura sound. Give me the Laura sound.

Okay. Ow, ow. I thought, didn't you have a cute almost a sound of that? Okay. There you go. Okay. I'm going to say it didn't do any damage because you're so bulky. Why would it?

But you are prone so you will need to use your movement next turn to stand up. And next in the order, we have Will. What's going on? I'm a little concerned for the kids. We've developed a murderous bond over time. So, I'm going to use one of my summon twins abilities to summon those twins from dead ringers to entertain the children with those. What was it?

The instruments for operating on mutant women. They can talk about, you know, you know, gynecology murder for a while and the kids will be safe and off to the side. I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's entirely within keeping of this movie. You guys haven't seen Dead Ring? It's another Kronenberg film. Another like... I haven't seen Dead Ring.

It's about twins who are gynecologists who murder people. Oh, shit. I have seen that. Yeah. Okay. The gynecology... There's so many gynecology murder twins in my life. Also, you know, oddly long, the same plot as twin sitters.

They share a lady friend. Yeah. I mean, I think that's just kind of inevitable. We assume... Don't you just assume all twins do, right? Yeah. All twins switch. They switch out.

Okay. So, that's your bonus action. The kids are taken care of. I'll take them out of danger for now. I don't think that's going to buy you permanent, but it'll buy you for now. What do you do with your action? So, we've opened the slime. Is that right?

John Claude? Yes. You've opened the slime. It is pooling out. It's not blasting. It's just kind of pooling out and not enough to slip and fall in yet. I'm going to jump as high as I can in the air to jump down again to create, make the boat tilt towards me so that our villain is covered in ooze.

Okay. You can do that if you give me... It's really kind of... A jump is just kind of lifting yourself. So, give me a lift roll. It's going to be difficult. All right. D20?

Yep. I got 11 plus four. Plus four. It doesn't quite do it. You jump in the air and you stop down. It does shake the boat. It doesn't tilt the entire boat, and everybody looks really disappointed in you. They were expecting that to be cooler.

Myself included. Okay. I throw my durag off in shame. Well, now you're going to drop in your bulk rating. You need it. That was a protective durag. Yeah, that's fair. All right.

A mighty durag of plus four. It is Strom's turn. He sneers nice next fools. Don't you realize they're out of proportion with the rest of your bodies? Why, if I were a chiropractor, you'd put my kids through college. And then he just shoots at you. He shoots at you with his gun. He is going to nine plus eight, 17 against Sean.

Now, do I get a bonus to Dodge because I just got knocked down by a ball? No. But it also seems like that taunt may have lowered your defenses. In fact, thank you for reminding me. I think that would give you disadvantage since you're sitting. You're prone. Give me a 17. Does a 17 hit?

I have a bulk of 18. It does not hit. All right. He gets one more attack. He's just going to go at you again. He can't believe that he missed the largest man he's ever seen who is sitting down. Freshly dazed. And he's just that bad.

Oh, 14 plus. Yeah, that's going to hit. That is a 22. It's definitely going to hit. I have a lot of sheriff's badges on. So I'm hoping to partially deflect some of it. Okay. Well, let's see.

You are going to take 21 points of damage. Okay. All right. I'll make a note of that. All right. And that's his turn. So next up, Sean, you're up again. Okay.

I'm going to use a barbarian point to summon the two Jean-Claude Van Damse from maximum risk now. I love that we can, we still haven't hit the twin Sean Van Damse movie I'm expecting. Yeah. Like you can just summon twin Van Damse throughout this entire game and we'll never run out. Now, one of them is dead. I'm going to use him as cover. And the other one is a very capable fighter and lover.

He is going to get between me and Strom hopefully engage in combat next term. He cannot engage in combat. Okay. They can't help you in a combat role. He could stand there. Right. He's just going to do cool shit. Let's see.

It seems like a volley of splits may distract our enemy. So you summoned two twins as human shields. Yes. I summoned two Jean-Claude Van Damse twins as human shields. And then I used my movement to get back to my feet. And I guess that's my turn. You still have an action, but I'm not sure what you're going to do without being a blue move.

I guess that ball could be close to you, but you would have to roll for it. I think I'm going to straighten my Nazi hat and flex. Oh, okay. I'll tell you what, with the human shields, it's kind of if you can't engage in combat, using them kind of in combat. But with the flexing and the human shields, I'll give you advantage on your next, your next role for that one, your next go around. Oh, you're up.

Oh, I, uh, I'm going to cook out of the spaghetti and, uh, probably God, how can we make this work? So it needs to be food-based. I'm guessing, right? We have a duffel bag full of projectiles. Yes. It goes without saying that you both have bottomless duffel bags of attack food. Yeah.

Good. Uh, I sort of like, uh, I really liked the idea we touched on earlier. If having sports bottles full of marinara. Yeah. That's it. That's it. You both have just huge sports bottles. Explode those like giant, you know, Nike, uh, water bottles full of marinara into his

face. Just write, write down his mouth. He chokes, he gags, he tries to breathe, he can't. It's meatballs coming out of his nose. It's disgusting and horrifying. And he is going to have disadvantage on his next round. Uh, do you use any of your bonus points or barbarian points? Yeah, I'm going to smash two of those, uh, dead ninjas together to celebrate just a,

just a cloud of, of, of red gore to celebrate the next round. That's, that's not one of your barbarian brother powers, but I'll just allow it. It's barbarian as fuck. Thanks. I mean, I got a meat, I got a bulk. I think if my bulk's high enough, right? Sure. I'm just going to allow that one as a free action.

You can, of course, it's not your first time smashing inferior twins into mist. Nope. We're going to assume that happens all the time. All right. It's strong again. And he's, he's so mad that he is just, but he missed you that one time that nobody likes his chiropractor plant. He's going to attack Sean again.

Uh, Peter, he's going to shoot at Peter. He's going to roll with 13. That does not hit. And he's shooting with disadvantage too. 17. He does not hit. And let me do his fresh rolls. Six and a three, not a single roll over 10.

Did not hit you. He's so bad at gun, you guys. He's covered a marinara sauce. I mean, it's covered a marinara sauce. It's in his eyes. It's in his lungs. He's holding it like gangster style, but he's kind of self-conscious about it. It's just like kind of pulling the trigger and that's really happening for him.

He does, he does hit both of those twins, killing them. And, uh, oh wait, did you explode the Van Tam twins? There are two sets of twins. Two sets of more Van Dams on the field. Weren't there just like dead ninjas all around us that we're using for cover? Okay. There were, yeah. Yeah.

I was just, I was just smashing someone. Oh, I thought you smashed some of the Van Dams. The original Van Dams. I mean, it works too. I have vacated. These twins are only good for one turn. Uh, so you have no longer have any twins on the field. Aside from you, of course, and that was Strom's turn.

So three of the Van Dams are now dead. Uh, yeah. And they're gone after one use. They just go, they don't stick around to help you. You'll have to summon them again to do something else, which you can do. That was Strom's turn. You can do right now. What's your next move?

Okay. I will use a summon twins. I'm going to summon the Jean-Claude Van Damme twins from double team, which means one of them is Dennis Rodman. Nope. I knew we were getting to Rodman adventure. And I'm going to use my movement to move in close to Strom. Uh, can I close the distance between me and him?

Uh, yes, it's going to be tricky ground. So I'm going to use Dennis Rodman to help me get that advantage because he's got that reach. I want him to pick me up and move me. Okay. If you're using the twin and it's Dennis Rodman, I will. Yeah. I'll just close up next to him, which is bad news for Strom.

And I'm going to do a lift attack on his gun. Okay. Give me that roll. No. Here it comes. I rolled a three, but I got a plus three my lift attack. I might have just torn his arm off on it on accident. No, you missed it completely.

He's just slippery like a greased pig with marinara sauce. It's a disadvantage because with, you know, breathing and existing as a human, but it's an advantage for barbarian grappling attacks. So that's your turn. And it's will. Well, you're up. Okay. Uh, how much distance do we have?

Did Sean just close? Uh, about 50 feet. So it's, it's all you can manage and it's tricky ground. Oh man. Well, I'm going to fashion check real quick. Oh, yeah. To, to, to close this advantage and spin around. The song is great.

Bob area. Absolutely. White explosions, naked women. Yeah. After that. Yeah. After that explosion of, of, of human bodies that I had, I hopefully appear in this new outfit.

What is that new outfit? It's an invention of like skis and like, uh, roller blades to cover ground really quick. Uh, instead of using a little ski poles and again, it's, it's human legs. Uh, we have, of course, like good ski goggles. Uh, and really not much else.

What else? I don't know if we need much else. Advantage on, it gives you advantage on your next round, not on this round. So if you want to try to cross over to them and use that advantage next round, you can otherwise, uh, you give me a bulk roll to see if you make it or if you just make it halfway there.

All right. Let's do the bulk roll. Give me a bulk roll. D 20. You got a 14 bulk of 16 plus three. 17. 17. Hell yeah, that does it.

You rolled a bulk roll because you just smashed through with the pipes and corpses and you're like, you don't run or jump over things. You train through them like the big train. Yeah. And I, you close through and now you're both, uh, within striking range of him. Uh, it's still your, that's your movement.

So still your action. You've used your bonus. Oh, uh, I'm going to, uh, I'm going to lift. Should I lift? Should I lift? Is that, is that really your question? No, but I mean, we haven't used to it yet. I figure there, there needs to be some kind of, uh, some,

you know, we're going to horse noise at our, you know, we don't need to horse noise yet. Um, damn it. Yeah. Maybe we should just get positioned to, uh, put him back and that, uh, like in our, in our monster truck, uh, flailing, uh, you know, Sean grabs one of his arms. I grabbed the other one and we just tear him apart.

Oh, I like this plan. Okay. Uh, so draw, draw and quarter him. That's what I was meant to say. Well, it's transference over. I'm going to assume you're readying an action and Sean. Yeah. I'm going to grab one of his free arms.

Okay. You're ready. You're ready in action. You're ready in action. You'll both give me a role on your next turn right now, uh, with his free arm. Strom is going to shoot at you. Obviously you've just exploded through several ninjas on the

way to him. It's terrified of you. And then you grabbed his arm and they're just kind of looking at him fiercely. So he's going to, at point the lake range, try to shoot you in the face. Strom fucking come on. Go on with this.

15 plus eight. Yeah. He gets you right in the face, uh, for eight damage. Uh, he's going to take a second shot again, right, right, right at you and your neck. Oh, that's a critical failure. So he does eight damage with his first shot, shoots you right in the face.

And then for his next shot, he tries to pistol with you like a dipshit and, uh, he loses control of his gun. He doesn't drop it, but it's going to take him a bit to get it. So he'll only get one shot next turn. All right. All right, John.

Uh, your brother has grappled him and I guess using the innate grappling connection that all twins share. Uh, what do you do? I will roll to lift attack on his other arm. Roll to lift attack on his other arm. Um, I rolled a 14 with bonus. With bonus. Oh, that doesn't do it.

Uh, let's see. It will give me, give me a roll. You're up next. If you want to try this, you can use your role too. Oh, I got a five plus four. I am nine total. Okay. Well, I kind of jumped over your,

your chance to use a barbarian point for a bonus action, Sean. Oh, sure. I'll summon the double impact twins. Yeah. Double impact twins. Double impact twins. Uh, now because of his strong legs and his karate,

he can do the splits. No problem. And he's just going to do the splits. And that, and that goes for double. Yeah, both of them are going to do the splits. Okay. That's, that's fantastic. Uh, Strom is terrified of that.

Strom hates that. You don't know why that's happening, but it's so the opposite of what he was expecting. Uh, it is will. Well, you still haven't used, you can use a barbarian point for a bonus action if you want. Yeah, I'd like to summon the,

you remember the Maguire twins? They were like the world's fattest twins on like the little motorcycles. Oh hell yeah. I'm bringing them in for falling damage, hopefully. Now are you trying to, they're not going to fall.

They're going to ride in on their tiny motorcycles. Oh yeah. Tiny little mopeds at a very slow speed, but they're very forceful. Is there anywhere you want to push or direct him? I'll allow that. Hmm. Uh, yeah.

Let's, let's get them moving towards the slime, towards Strom's that maybe we can have it like a, a nice, like again, cartoon collision. Gotta push him into that slime. The slime has been pooling. There's definitely a good pool for him to fall in and possibly get mutated into somebody a lot cooler than he is, which was final ball stage.

That's how that shit worked in the nineties. Uh, give me, you know what, give me a bulk. Each of you, each of you, uh, you give me a bulk rating. This will be a twin attack. Uh, well, you give me a bulk. Sean, give you, give me a lift. Okay.

Let me reset. I rolled a 16 plus three. So I got 19. Hell yeah. For my bulk. Uh, 17 after bonus. Oh, all right. These twins just roll in and it's,

it's at two and a half miles an hour with a lot of wheezing, but they just, they're an unstoppable force. It's just like trying to fight a garbage bag full of meat. Like there's no point to it. It just gets shoved back all the way to the slime. And I'm going to make a bulk roll on him, which is not his strength. Oh, that's a two.

He falls directly, just eats shit like, like a huge nerd from an eighties movie. Real plaintive and pathetic and rolls around with slime. And then he kind of throws a little tantrum. Nothing's going his way. Gets that slime everywhere. Uh, I will say something appears to be happening to him. There's some sort of interaction with the slime

and the marinara sauce all over his body. Uh, we don't know what that is yet though. Sean, you are, oh no, that's, it is now Strom's turn. Strom is going, he's prone. He's just been hit with slime. I'm going to give him one attack with disadvantage. It's a 16 and a five on Will. Uh, does a 16 total hit.

He's rolling against my, uh, my bulk. Yeah, your bulk. My bulk is 16. Uh, the tie does hit. So you're going to take 11, 11, just 11 points of damage. That's post getting shot in the face, right? So where am I? Where am I at?

You're down 19. Okay. So it's still okay ish considering. Okay ish. All right. That was his turn. So Sean, you were up now. Okay.

I'm going to use a bonus action to look at him. Uh, and he's all covered in goo. It looks like he's turning into goo. So I want to say, I want to give a barbarian joke. I want to say, uh, and I'm going to roll for this. Uh, I rolled a seven. So I'm going to say, uh, no thanks. I had diarrhea for breakfast.

That's, uh, that's my, that seems like an accurate seven, but I will add you say it in a really clumsy accent so that he, he kind of doesn't get it at first. Right. Right. Uh, I might even flub a couple of, uh, the words. You're going to laugh at it anyways. Do a couple of takes.

You look off camera and go, got to take that one again. And there's nobody, there's nobody to answer you. No, thanks. I had the marinara. I had the diarrhea for breakfast. And then I'm going to use my, uh, regular action to lift on a cargo crate. I want to pick up an entire cargo crate on the boat and put it over my head. With wish to smash him next round.

Okay. Give me that lift roll. Going to be a tough one. 17 plus three, 20. Hell yeah. And you lift the hell out. You do like a couple of squats with it just cause you're feeling good. You get like a little, get a little pump on like you're coming.

Can't believe how much you're in heaven right now. Legs are flex. And you are ready with that cargo crate next round. Uh, Will, you're up. Oh man. Uh, what does he turn it into? Can I, can I, uh, Uh, you know what?

I told me an insight. You don't fucking have that. I know. That's what I'm saying. There's no perception. You don't fucking know. You have no way of knowing. If you can spin bulk or lift into introspection.

What, what are the, what are the, what are the, what are the twins doing right now? The twins have used their action. They, they are puttering off into the sunset. Their job. Oh no. I'm talking about our, our murderous, uh, uh, kids that were nanny. Well, they're still off to the side. Uh, you've successfully distracted strong.

He could take an action against them if he so chose. Okay. Uh, I'm going to, uh, uh, delight and keep the kids safe again, but by maybe using a toad road to joke about murder or death and dying or suicide. Okay. That'll be your action though. My action.

You can use a bonus point to do your barbarian powers. Oh, what's another set of twins? Um, you know, I'm going to cook a spaghetti again. Why not? Uh, and this pasta powered, uh, action. Oh man. So, but is there the chance that if I put more marinara on them or more, uh,

Italian themed food, it's just going to contribute to his mutation. It will certainly do something. He is going, he's going through a process right now. And I can't imagine there are many processes where a sudden marinara sauce helps outside of like pasta preparation. All right. Well, I'm going to throw, uh, uh, an oversized pizza at him,

like as you might at discus. Okay. Uh, that's still going to be cooking a spaghetti. Uh, it's going to, it's going to, it's going to, it's going to pizza just all over him. It's going to pizza him up in his business. It's the toxic slime marinara pizza. He's not having a good time.

He's still failing kind of throwing a tantrum and getting it everywhere. Uh, and that, if you use your action, use your bonus action. Are you all through? Yeah, I think so. Okay. That was Strom's turn. Uh, Strom is going to use this turn to say, yeah, he's going to do it. He's going to mutate.

Strom is going to mutate into his secondary form. Uh, Strom skin bubbles and bulges the toxic sludge mutating his flesh into bulbous monstrosity. Like even more than you two are bulbous monstrosities. He stands 10 feet tall, eight feet wide. You're unsure which parts are pulsing muscle and which are pulsing tumors, but it's all pulsing. His trench coat hangs off him and tatters the pistol is fused into his hand.

Both forms twisting into a mish mash of metal and flesh. Fuck that stuff to say. He's still got his normal sized little asm behead, but now it sits atop a neck twice the size of your own. Oh man. We're in trouble. And that is, that is his action right now. This has taken everything out of him.

He's panting. He needs just a second to recover from mutating. Uh, and yeah, Sean, you are now up. All right. I have a cargo crate above my head, uh, and using a walrus like, horse like sound. I spent a barbarian point to summon from how the West was fun, Mary, Kate and Ashley Olson.

Good call. And then I spent my action to throw the cargo crate along with Mary, Kate and Ashley at the now monstrous strong. Uh, what do you want them to do? They can't be used in combat for extra damage. Are they just there for flavor? Are they going to do anything to him? I feel like they're trying to learn a lesson.

Like they're seeing this and they have just moments to turn this into some kind of a teachable moment. Well, but if you're going with how the West was fun, they could just be riding the cargo container like a, like a horse. I think that's a good point. Yeah. This could just be a touch of whimsy, uh, just to keep the tone light. Yeah.

Just some, just some seasoning. Just to, just to keep him off his feet. Okay. Uh, yeah, that's, that's giving me another lift roll. Okay. Come on. Good roll. 16 with a plus three.

Oh hell yeah. 19. All right. With a 19. Okay. I have plenty to hit him on that. I will say on my little like diagram here, I have you in a position where there's a couple of ways you could go with this.

You're going to hit him and move him. He's pretty bulky now. So it's not going to be super far, but you can move him towards the edge of the ship. Uh, reminder there is the more trucker slam in the water below with the waters far below. You can move him towards the cargo containers or you can move him, uh, that crane with a cargo net.

Uh, I think the crane is, is our move. I feel like we, if we kick him, get him in the ocean, he's just going to come back with fish powers. Uh, you got to get under that crane. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. He's now under the crane.

He's going to take, you give me, give me a double of your two. Well, give me two to the tax for his damage. Oh, two does it die 12, right? Yeah. Plus, plus your, uh, your lift. All right. First one is a natural, uh, double critical fail. One and one.

I was very, very polite. It's not going to, it's not going to matter in terms of like, you're not going to be punished for getting bad rolling damage, but he's like a little, huh, like he tests his, he flexes his, he makes his pecs dance a little bit. He's mutant pecs, makes him dance a little bit. And he's like, huh, I wasn't too bad. Okay.

He maybe taught him a little bit about how strong he is now. Here's that unimportant question. How are Mary Kate and Ashley Olson? Uh, they have been destroyed. They were just, they went, as a matter of fact, when he flexes his pecs, he makes them bounce up and down little like pieces of Mary Kate and Ashley fall off of them to the floor. Uh, and will you're up?

Uh, I can't live in a world without Mary Kate and Ashley. So I'm going to use my, uh, someone twins to bring the ones from, uh, their sleepover, uh, the classic. Okay. I want to be clear. This is very important. Perfect. Those are different Mary Kate and Ashley.

These ones are still dead. These ones are dead and that counts. But I'm hoping they brought other friends with them and they have a pizza party out of that guy's body or at least parts of his mutant body. Pizza. He's still completely covered in marinara and pizza sauce. You're right. All right.

What do they do? What do you do with them? Hopefully they distract him by a bunch of little girls trying to eat him or throw fried chicken or ice cream onto him to create the ultimate pizza. So you want the little girls to run up to the big throbbing monster and lick him? You want them to lick the food off of him? To distract him while I covered the crane and stuffed animals

and the parts of like our dead foes to use as a weapon than against the monstrosity. Okay. Yeah. Give me a bulk role because at this point I'm going to say the bulk role is to determine whether they're more afraid of you or of him because they don't want to lick him and I don't want them to lick him. Maybe they don't lick him.

Maybe they're just throwing more things. No, we're committed now. Give me that bulk role. It was a two plus three. They don't lick him. They do like run around him and try to sing a little song which is kind of more their shtick and he's like, oh, he likes things long, bounces in place a little bit.

He's like, oh, that's fun. So he's a little distracted. I'm not going to give him disadvantage, but there's a few things he can do and I'll make sure it's not the worst one because of that. I am pizza. And your action was to pile bodies next to the crane? No, I mean, you know, to stay in character,

to decorate the crane with stuffed animals and toys and maybe, again, a bed. You can't reach the crane yet. It's above you and there's a cargo net, but it's torn and unclimbable. Can I bulk or lift up to it? Again, my Hulk jump up to the crane seat? You can try that.

Yes, you can try that. Give me a lift to jump his list. Jump is just a self-lift. Give me a lift role. Fucking fives again. I got a five plus four. No, you don't quite make it. You jump up in the air

and you jump extremely high. Everybody's very proud of you, but then you forget with just the sheer joy of jumping. You forget and you just kind of land back where you were and then you go, oh, the crane, right. All right, John, you're up. Oh, wait, no, it's Will, so it's Strom. Strom is up.

Strom's turn, yeah. Yeah, Strom is up. Okay. He is going to use, he's just going to use gun punch. He's got his gun hand. He's going to use gun punch on, Sean, I think you're, no, you hit him with the crate.

You're farther away. He's going to use it on you, Will. So he's going to roll seven plus 10 to hit. So he's got a 17. What is, what's your bulk? No, it's only 16. Ooh, this is going to hit. Going to hurt.

Gun punch. He's got 24, 24 hit points. He's got 61. So that's math. It's 37. I don't want to show off, but I can do second grade math. Yeah, that's kind of showing off right now. You would lose up our barbarian point for doing math.

Yeah, I know. Sean is mad. I think I'm out of Sean Claude Van Damme movies anyway. So like, what the fuck do I need him for? All right. So yeah, that's his, that's his only turn. He only gets one of those. So he just punches you right in your meat with all of his meat,

but his meat's got metal in it. Yeah. That's where it's meat. So that, that really hurts. And uh, back to the top. Gun punch is such a great turn. Like. Yeah, you would think that it would like fire the gun,

but no, the gun is just kind of absorbed into his flesh. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it explodes as he like. Maybe next turn I'll say, yeah, he fires the gun this time. Maybe that works. Yeah. I can do whatever.

I'm the dungeon master and it's going to my head. Real quick, you're, you're drunk on a slime man power. I've never felt this kind of power. All right. Back to the top of the order, Sean. All right. Can I see the children from the twin children from here? Yes.

Okay. They are still safely entertained. And as long as you've got them entertained, they are not murdering an innocent. All right. I'm going to, uh, Summon the first and fourth Michael Keaton from multiplicity. Wait, why the fourth?

Why the specifically the fourth? Uh, he was the one where they cloned the clone and he was like a full dipshit. And he, I think will be fun for the kids. Oh, first one was a, was an overworked contractor. And I think he will be good to get that crane started. Uh, so that's what I tell them to do. I say stupid Michael Keaton, uh, entertain those kids, uh,

overworked Michael Keaton, fix that crane. Here's the thing though. I'm going to fuck it up. I'm a barbarian. I send the Michael Keaton's to the wrong job. Uh, turns his kids into cranes. All right. Well, here's what I do for my action.

I, I realize we don't have the killer instincts to take this guy out, but you know who does is those kids. So I'm going to take off all my clothes, all the various objects I'm wearing, lots of them are sharp, almost all of them are dangerous. I slide my clothes and all of the remains, all the scattered remains of these clothes to the children. And I want them to get in this fight.

I think they're the ones that need to kill this monster. Okay. Okay. You know what? I buy that. I'm going to add, I'm going to add them as a group to the order after strong. Uh, by putting them in danger,

they are targetable. I don't, I don't know that they will take a gun punch super well. Uh, also you're now naked and the, the children that are not yours are there, which isn't great. I'm 90s naked means I probably have like, yeah, you've got, you've got like a sock puppet on down there instead. It's a, it's played for laughs. And only, only dozens of years later,

will we look back and be like, oh shit. Yeah. It's a hollowed out stuffed teddy bear. Yeah. So you've sent contractor exhausted contractor over to entertain the kids. Uh, he sits down just taking the opportunity to get off his feet. And he said, oh my divorce. And the kids are immediately not into it.

So they're going to wander onto the field. Uh, dipshit Michael Keaton cannot reach the net and he has no ideas as to how to do that. He's just kind of hopping up and down and he pauses and he thanks for a little bit. And then he hops up and down more and then he makes something like snaps his fingers like, shoot, that's right. I didn't make it. Uh, so, so that is not in play quite yet. And it is now Will's turn. Well, I'm going to use my twin powers to summon Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger from twins.

Very nice. Hoping that the gentle giant Arnold will confuse our enemy while the, while Danny DeVito scams him out of some money. Um, all the while I'm going to, I'm going to lift up, uh, foolish Michael Keaton for my action to try to fix the crane. Okay. Uh, well, I can't usually give them, they can't be involved in the combat. So I can't give him disadvantage or anything.

Uh, I will say it's his turn next. He can get a little bit confused that there is another roughly your size pile of meat on the field. In the, in the form of Arnold. So, uh, yeah, he can target Arnold instead, but Arnold is a huge pile of meat and there's going to be some collateral damage if he hits. And I think he's going to do that now. Sounds fair. It's a meat trap.

Oh, shit. He rolled a 17 plus 10, uh, 27. He fucking obliterates Arnold into the 1000 piece. Sean, give me Arnold being obliterated. Perfect. That's exactly the noise he makes. And he sprays the children with bits of bone and Arnold meat. Uh, they each take three damage.

It doesn't sound too bad, but they only have 13 hit points. So they are down to 10. Uh, these poor kids, although given their hobbies, it seems like that'd be something that would delight them though too. Yeah, they had fun, but, uh, they also have sharp Arnold bones and meat in their, uh, in their skin, which isn't great. I bet, I bet overworked. Mount Keaton's just cranky as shit about this.

Yeah. Overworked. Michael Keaton is just rummaging through the courses looking for like a hidden flask. Yeah. Uh, while the idiot Michael Keaton is being lifted to the crane. Uh, that's your action. Give me a lift roll. Oh, hi.

Fucking this. I got a three plus four. All right. You lift him and I, I can't tell you in good conscience that you've failed to lift Michael Keaton. That's not going to happen. So what happens instead is that you hurl him 800 feet in the air. He disappears, uh, screwing all the way and just becomes a star in the night sky.

The little constellation in the shape of Michael Keaton's face. Uh, yeah. Finally, a character arc. And that's his dream. That was his dream. Okay. So now it is a constellation that makes the outline of his smile. But it is the kids turn and what the kids are going to do.

You have slid them all of your clothes, which turns out was the key was the key to beating this encounter. Uh, that I did not know. Uh, because amongst Peter's clothes specifically, as I have mentioned, is the cargo net. Uh, he has a cargo net and now the twins do. So they're going to use their twins to powers to, uh, flip each other up and fling the cargo net, staring the rest of the cargo net and climbing up it to the crane. They're now in preparation to, I'm going to call that their action and their move.

So they're now just prepared on the crane. Nice. Fantastic. Wearing the Hitler hat, I'm sure. Uh, they don't really have to wear the hat. You just kind of look at them and you're like, yeah, those are Nazis. If they're Nazis, they're going to grow up to be Nazis. I'm sure if we looked into the act, no, I'm not going to go that far.

Uh, Sean. You know what this calls for is some climax music, a change in soundtrack. I use my barbarian point to summon the albino vampire twins from the matrix. Oh, hell yeah. Techno pumping. And, uh, I'm going to use, uh, I'm going to move close to the big guy and I'm going to lift him under the crane into the kill zone. My intention is to pick him up and body slam him directly under.

Okay. Whenever the crane is holding. Give me that left roll. And you know what? Give me it with advantage because those sick beats. Sick beats got me pumped. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. They do, they are white guys with white dreadlocks, which seems like it could be a disadvantage to us at some point. It'll be like house. I mean, it won't be like. Yeah. This is 1994. So those are like the coolest guys in the world.

That's true. I got a 16, but with my, uh, bonus, it'll be, uh, 19. All right. Sweet. Oh wait. I didn't do my advantage. What is it? Do I roll a one by four?

I know your advantage. You can just roll it again. Like you, you do two rolls and you take whichever one's better. Oh, and I take the better one. Okay. It's going to be tough to beat that. Yeah. I guess 16 again.

Okay. Okay. You've got the shit out of that 19. All right. Yeah. You, well, you explained it, but you describe what you're doing to him. Uh, let's see. Is he small enough still?

I can lift him. I suppose as a barbarian, I wouldn't even consider that an option. I'm going to just. He is bigger than you, but you can lift whatever you can lift. You can lift the world with your heart. And he's covered in the cargo net. So you can just probably pull the net, right? Yeah.

I'm going to put one hand in his crotch, one hand on his shoulder, ultimate warrior style, press slam. And I'm going to do like a little pump and then fling him over. On to his back directly under, under the crane. So the children can kill him. Uh, give me that. Give me a double toad role for the damage on that. Well, hell yeah.

All right. First one is a natural 12. Second one is a eight. So total of 26. 26. Getting down there. So he is now positioned under the crane. Uh, well, it's your turn.

Hmm. Is there a way to combine to my cook of the spaghetti with the barbarian fashion check where, uh, and I like, I like this professional wrestling direction that shall always take a climb up on the crane, manifest some like chicken parmesan, like elbow pads, and do just the straight on, you know, a Randy Savage elbow drop.

Fucking hell. Yes, you can. Obviously you can. All right. Give me. All right, give me. I'm just going to let you straight up climb that. You got the car going out in place,

climb it off the crane, you manifest chicken parmesan elbow pads. Is that, is that what we're going with? Yep. I'm taking it you're going to steer for his mouth to try to like make him eat this elbow drop. Oh yeah. All right.

Give me. For speaking to the underlying theme of this entire podcast. This is bulk. This is pure bulk. This is about your bulk slamming into his bulk. Give me that bulk roll. Fucking finally, 19 plus three. Oh, holy shit.

Yeah. This is, this is an elbow drop that they will feel in heaven or hell. I don't know which, whichever, whichever place you're going. Italy and Brooklyn at least. Based on the Nazi had and star of David, I think it's probably hell. Uh, you, so you execute, you get like those atmosphere

effects as you're re-entering, just fucking flames streaking off of your elbow. Nice. Conveniently cooks the chicken parm a little bit. That's nice. Yeah. And you just fucking feed it to it. You feed him the elbow straight in his teeth.

Uh, just, just to mollish that poor bastard. Give me a disaster mozzarella chicken. A double toad roll. Hell yeah. 12, 12, twice. What a way to die. 10 plus four is like a 14 and seven. 21.

All right. And I'm going to give him, because you, he's choking on your chicken parm now from cookie to spaghetti. So I'm going to give him disadvantage on his next turn, which is now, all right, he's going to get up. He's going to see the twins just cackling and like drawing in like mysterious goats blood that I guess they just

always have. Uh, he's terrified of them and he's going to try to get past the both of you to get out from under the crane. He's going to get, oh, that is a nine total. It's not going to do it. He tries to get past you, but he is so full of chicken parm. He's just got like that rock gut.

Can't really like, it just kind of wants to sit down and digest for a while. And you kind of weekly slap him back down. He doesn't fight too much about it. So he is still under the crane. That is going to be his turn. It is the twins turn. He's going to use the crane.

They work the controls. It's just a claw game, but the prize is a murderous pile of meat. And they drop that claw and they grab him. And give me, I'm going to give them, this is still a lift roll. I mean, even if it's not there, they're left. 100% lift roll.

17. Okay. Uh, yeah. 17 will do it. They grab him with the claw. They pick him up and they spin the crane around getting that centrifugal force. And he's just, Oh God, no, I'm so full.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, do this. They release him and he flings off into the ocean and sinks below the waves. And that is when he turns into his ascendant form, ascendant strom. All right, there you get ascendant stroms form up here. A deep vibration from the bowels of the ship followed by the

groan of metal twisting and you're hurled to the ground. The entire ship bucks and sways a rogue wave surfaces alongside you, dwarfing the ship, threatening to capsize you. Only it's not a wave. The surface tension breaks water streaming off to reveal the enormous form of ascendant strom. He's 80 feet tall and just as wide. And then the sickly green of the dollar bill.

You get where I'm going. Huge bubbles of pus swell and burst within him and each papa corrupted light spills out from within him, revealing sort of this skeleton of what was once pure beneath the rot and corruption of the money. It's the money that corrupted him. You guys got that. He is growing, changing, becoming a God, but also decay.

He's rotting to pieces. I am the avatar of capitalism on earth strong booms in a voice that is very unsubtle and it shakes you to the thicker, harder meat that supports your meat, your bone meat, your bone meat shakes. But it still comes out of his tiny little as in be head. And that just really highlights how fucking huge his neck is. Oh, shit.

The neck just you guys, you have inferiority complexes that you will take to the grave because of this guy's neck. And he is going to immediately take his turn. He says, I am this world's God. Money makes everything happen here. Do you think you can kill the God of money with horse noises and two of some people, a chiropractor, right? Would prescribe you a brace because, because this is going

to be bracing and he bends low and he sucks up all the toxic water around him. His neck swelling impossibly larger. Oh, no. You do notice it. He blasts you with a jet force stream. You are going to both give me a bulk save. All right.

I got a eight. I got a 13 plus three 16. Okay, the 16 you save. So you only take 14 damage. Sean, you take 28 damage. All right. I think we need to do some horse noises next round. Yeah.

We could use some horse noise. I think you're down to 51. Is that right, Sean? I am. And David, you took 14. So that means 23. Yeah, I think you're at 23. Okay.

That is his turn. So Sean, you're up. Okay. We've got to steer this boat into that fucking sea monster. Absolutely. So let's see. I think I'm just going to go for the controls myself. So that's, that's my, that's my move.

I'm just heading towards the controls. Okay. The cab is not terribly far. It's going to take more movement than you got. You can sacrifice your action. And if you can convince me with your bonus action. Well, I do summon Jaina and Zan, the Wonder Twins. He turns into an ice slide.

She turns into a gorilla and she shoves me along the ice slide. That should give me the speed I need. Fuck yeah. All right. Yeah, you make it straight there. And the Wonder Twins, having done one thing successfully, are way too proud of it until everybody's like, yeah, okay. Okay.

There's a slide and a push. We're good. And Gleek just like does something shitty. He makes like a funny noise and he expects a laugh. God, I fucking hate that. That's exactly what he would do. All right. Will, you're up.

Let me start with some horse noises because me and Sean have taken a muscular beating. Okay. I'm at 75. I'm good. I was like down to 21. You were down to 23. So you should have 51.

You have 51 now? My meat rating is 80. All right. You guys keep questioning my math, but I promise. I trust you. It is now, you know, I'm going to say the twins having done their job are just going to hang out in the crane and like spin it around and try to bash stuff.

They're going to grab like corpses and fling them off the side. They're just, they're just having a good time being abominations against God. So they're going to kind of, they're out of the battle, but they are safe. They could start a fire that would help. I mean, they will certainly start a fire at some point.

It will not be helpful to you. Yeah. It will certainly be harmful to all of society. I will say that they are no longer usable. I'll take them off the battlefield, but they are safe. You have saved the twins by giving them corpses to play with. Perfect. Okay.

And so Will is it your turn? Sean's turn. So Will is your turn. Yeah. It did the horse noise. Does that count as my whole turn or something? No, that's your bonus. It does take a point.

For my action. I'm going to hurl some insults from the movie. Is there a way to summon our monster truck? You tell me if you can spin it with any of those, with any of those actions. Give me that spin, baby. With one of our powers or just some actions? Well, you've already used the bonus action.

Just give me a bulk or a lift spin. Oh, yeah. Okay. So a thunder clap between my pecs that's so loud that it summons the monster truck. Okay. But you have to say something in like the Sea Man style. Yeah.

In a bad Brooklyn accent too. What would it be? Don't get in your head about it. It doesn't have to be. I know. I know. I know. How about, hey fish face, fuck on this.

And then smash the pecs together and hopefully summon our monster truck. All right. Sean, give me a gong sound effect. Oh, I would love to. Let me get over here and... Yeah. There you go. And too big.

It's the name of your monster truck. It comes flying over the cargo containers, crashing to the deck, doing a sweet peel out. It is here. It has arrived. You will be able to use it on your next turn. Excellent. Okay. But now it is Strom's turn.

He is going to say... Destroy me and what? What happens next? Capitalism crumbles. Money becomes meaningless. The core of society rots. Any chiropractor could tell you core strength is what's most important for maintaining balance. Metal gear game now.

He waits for you to like laugh at the chiropractor thing. Do you? Strom, you're out of alignment. Oh, shit. Oh, that hurts so bad. Yeah. And then the sea lion. That's a devastating blow.

He looks really demoralized. He's going to reach out his huge throbbing paw and spin the entire cargo ship. Oh, no. All right. You are going to take... Well, you're going to give me a lift save. All right. Both of you.

16 plus four. So I'm at 20. Oh, hell yeah. 10 plus four. So 14. You do not make it. So he's going to do economy damage to you. And he's going to do...

That's our weakest performance behind at the gym. You're going to do 21 damage to Peter. That's 454 you're at. And he's going to do, let's just say, an even 10 to David. And Sean, you are knocked prone from the spinning ship. You'll have to use your movement to get up next time. David, you keep your feet. And that is his turn.

So Sean, it is you. You're up next. I will say either of you can control this monster truck. It works on, you know, on like sentient car rules. Just tell it to do something, but nothing smart. It will not do anything smart. Okay. I need to get to my feet quickly because I need to spend my action to steer this boat.

So I'm going to summon Rex and Rod Reynolds from the HitFilm Rack. Evil BMX twins. And they're going to help me to my feet, hopefully with probably a pretty sweet BMX move. Yeah, sure enough. They also kind of sexually dance at you. Like they grind you from front and back and like peek at each other around you. Yes, they do. It's not cool with you.

It's definitely something you're going to think about later and being like, why did I allow that? What's wrong with them? But they do help you to your feet. You can still take your action. You're at the controls of the boat. What do you do? To be honest, I know the moves to this as the barbarian twin.

I just instinctively know the choreography. Oh, all twins are aware of this double teaming dance? And so that gets me on feet so I can use my action to do a lift attack against the controls to steer this boat into the... All right, give me that lift roll. Super strong. Come on, come on, come on. Okay, I got a critical failure. All right, so you, swelling music, heroism, you reach down, you grab the controls,

you wrench them to the side and then you wrench them back and you shove the throttle all the way forward. And it turns out you're just playing with like the door handle and some knobs. You don't know what controls are. Looks like I'm out of assignment too. Trying to make a reference to the line. Perfect, yes. So you're just playing with the door and like some coat hooks as the controls of the boat. So yeah, nothing happens there.

And you, yeah, that's yours. Will, you're up. Since you've established this guy's like superpower and possible weakness, I'm going to summon the creepy twins from the Shining and I'm going to have them in view upon him, the failures of capitalism and the problems with his neoliberalism. Oh, that's going to be... How am I going to spin that? I'm going to say...

Speak in unison at him. Okay, they can speak in unison at him. They're going to have to give me a role for it. I would say they're doing the opposite of lifting his spirits. So it's really just an upside down lift to his brain. Yeah. So give me a lift role. Let's see if that works.

Five plus we got nine. All right. He's just, he's so into, like he's actually inventing crypto years ahead of when crypto is invented. That's how like into capitalism he still is. He converts them to like NFTs. Oh, that's actually sounds like it's all about freedom on the internet and like protecting art. So, so yeah, that does the opposite of work. He's rallied.

He just repackaged Reaganism for him. Yeah. Greater faith than ever in capitalism. And he says... I'm going to say, tickle down on this. Now he says, a chiropractor would see this and he'd say, he'd give you an adjustment to your, he sees that you're not into it. And he said, just die. And sickly runes like septic veins.

They sprout from the deck, wrapping about your limbs and binding you and squeezing. Oh, man. So you were going to give me a lift save, both of you. Okay. Save, 17 total. Yeah, 12 plus four. So I got 16 total. 16 is the same.

So you make it. Yeah, you both just, you laugh and you flex. This is, this is the scene you've been waiting for where you pump your necks up and the lines just explode off of you. Oh, so happy you loaded that up. It's perfect. All right. So you both save, but you do take 15 damage each. I knew a man with resident evil near death again.

Yeah, you done 39 and 26. Is that right? Yep. So that's strong stuff. Yeah, he did his resident evil. Yeah, we got, we got vined up. Yeah, you got vined up, but you broke out of it. So Sean, you are not bound.

The kids turn. Yeah, I'm not bound. I'm not sure I have any barbarian points left. I think you have, I have one. You have one left. Okay. I have one last summon. I should heal, but you know who we haven't had yet is Jackie Chan and a second Jackie Chan.

So I summon twin dragon Jackie Chan's. Hell yeah. They are here just to help me learn how to drive a boat. I'm going to ask them in Cantonese. How do I drive this boat? And what does that sound like again? I'll count that. Sure.

Yeah. The Jackie Chan's look at you like really? This is how you're going to use Jackie Chan's. Okay. And they, they just kind of, they grab you and they just pivot you so that your hands in the same position just rotate until they're on the controls. And you go like, oh, okay. I get it. Thank you, Mr. Chan.

What do you do with the controls? I steer them into the big guy exactly as they demonstrated. I do the same flips and spins. Give me, give me a lift roll with advantage. I mean, roll it twice. Okay. First one is a three. Second one is a 17.

That's a 20. Yeah, that'll do it. Okay. You turn the boat around and you gun it and it's a cargo ship. So it probably wouldn't go very fast, but again, this is all about bulk, baby. It's a lot of bulk. And it's, you know what? It's more than his bulk.

So it starts pushing into him. I have said that he's rotting from the corruption of money and also some toxic slime, but mostly the money thing. So this starts to push aside very painfully his, his rotting flesh and get to the skeleton of the pure man that he once was beneath him. The glowing God skeleton of the pure God that he once was. And Jesus, this boat is now inside of him. The deck is leading up straight to his body. Will, you're up. And I hope you remember that you have a monster truck.

Please believe I have a monster truck. Yeah, we're going to drive too big right through that, that, that golden heart of his fucking hell. Yes, you are. This is it. This is it. Give me your final, the bolt of view together. Give me a lift roll. It's going to be tough.

Come on, come on, come on. 17 total. I got 13 plus four. So yeah, I got 17 also. 17. You've twinned. I will give you the power of twins. That does actually just barely make it.

But because you twinned it, you hop in too big. You put on a song about yourselves rapping, doing exactly this, driving a monster truck into the heart of a corrupt God. That's it. That's the song. This is what what you're looking at was about. You floor it and you drive straight through his golden heart and out the other side, making no follow up plans. You plummet into the ocean, but it's fine. He explodes in a shower of toxic rain and money, which is already melting.

You have done it. You have killed the avatar of capitalism in this world. Wow. You have destroyed capitalism with biceps and squat thrusts and the power of looking alike. The world is free. You have freed it from the evil of money. The only capital gains. The only capital gains you ever hear of again are when a fancy guy compliments your bulk.

Phil Gaines, old boy. This is it. This is how twin sitters really ends. It's beautiful. I give my twin a high five. Yes. And I triumph at high five. And it frees frames and you have the right to say no to drugs.

It's a monster. Let's get out of here. It's a monster. Let's get out of here.