The Doug Stanhope Podcast - 10 Minute Podcast in Daytona Beach, Florida - pt.01

Episode Date: March 25, 2016

Pre Order Doug's book "Digging Up Mother: A Memoir" on Amazon and Barnes & Noble   No time to sober up because Doug is in Daytona Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2016. Doug decided to do 10 minute podcasts throughout the day. Recorded March 24, 2016 in Daytona Beach, FL with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Ggreg Chaille. LINKS:kenny4mayor.com Websitehttp://www.kenny4mayor.com/Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool - https://www.dougstanhopescelebritydeathpool.com/Pre Order Doug's book "Diggin Up Mother: A Love Story" on Amazon and Barnes & NobleBrian Hennigan's book, "Patrick Robertson: A Tale Of Adventure" Available now -http://ataleofadventure.com/Closing song, "Castle Rock Kenny 4 Mayor", by Kalle Mathiesen (@8Kalle). Watch the video on Youtube.com here -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RooyxNj1tDYDoug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Paulie Casillas! What's that? Paulie Casillas. He's a fucking great Tucson comic. He's the top of the food chain in Tucson. And Hannigan and I got really drunk at some kids, some young comic's 21st birthday. We were there on our way to fly here and uh we went to mr heads

where they have open mic wednesday and uh it was tuesday so we had the wrong day but we were there Leland J. Long. That's at Leland L-1-E-L-E-L-A-N-D J. Long at Twitter. That's his Twitter. That was the comic? Yeah, some kid. And we're like, at first we met him at some bar. Wait, wait, how did you meet up with this guy? We him at some bar. Wait, wait. How did you meet up with this guy?

We were at a bar. We were just bar hopping on 4th Street. Were you tweeting or something? Or you just met him in the bar? Yeah, we met him at the bar. And he goes, hey, I'm a big fan. It's my 21st birthday. And I know his friends are going to make him drink shots until he's dead. Sure.

I'm like, just don't do the shots. Remember your birthday we met him at another bar now we're more fucked up than him and uh is he playing along yeah no he was great me and hennigan bowed out gracefully i go listen we don't want to be more fucked up than the 21st birthday kid who doesn't really drink. So we bailed out. And but I love my I was so drunk. I love my fucking visa card at Mr. Heads.

But Pauly Casillas, top of the food chain in the Tucson Comedy Market, said, hey, I found it. They're going to mail it to your house 212 van dyke street bisbee arizona 85603 mail us weird shit we love it send it to zoom and here uh all right while you're listening what we're gonna going to do, we're going to do like 10-minute podcasts through the duration of this Daytona Beach stay. I don't remember getting here. I remember waking up, seeing a note from Chaley in my room that says, you're Daytona Beach. Your room number is this. Yes.

I'm in this. Welcome. I'm going to beat up a sixth grader so I can fucking trend over Cat Williams on Twitter. What the fuck? The fucking sixth graders have abs out here. We're playing the am I a pedophile game? The game started with me and Becker in Costa Rica,

where you'd look down the beach and you'd see someone with this skimpiest Maxim magazine bikini. Yeah, yeah. Like, like, total, like, ass floss. All right. Let's you have to bet now. Am I a pedophile? When she gets up close, is she going to be 13 years old?

And I just lost a couple of those bets, and I came back upstairs. Before. Before what? I can't even think. Too much Malibu. Before your mouth wrote checks, your dick couldn't cash. I'm trying to think of something. A 13-year-old yelling at you for not getting it up.

That's embarrassing. I got half of Viagra halves. I have Adderalls. Lollipops. Waiting for HD fatty. We got Dum Dums. Chupa Chupas. Those are are popular i'm going to downers next because uh no we have we have chad shank coming in chad shank yeah i know that's what i'm saying

we're podcasting right when chad we're definitely podcasting as he walks in because you know he's gonna have a million fucking stories he has some shit you said in Bisbee that you guys didn't get to on the podcast that have not gone out. Yeah, because you guys. He'll tell you that. Yeah. But, you know, when he he's not a traveler. Oh, so I flew him first class. Just just to fool him.

That's the way everyone actually make the flight. Yeah, I've never flown first class before. This will be fun. And that means he gets the Delta Sky Club. Everything, yeah. When you called them, is that because you called to see if he could get in because he has a rather long layover in Atlanta. And was that something that they include when you're a million miler

or whatever you are, diamond status? No, if you fly first class, you automatically get Sky Club. Unless that person was wrong because they didn't say it with any confidence. No, I think it is. Oh, my gosh. I'm drunk as shit. We have this girl, Marley, and hopefully we get her on the goddamn podcast. I won't even...

I will not... Don't even tell the story until she shows up. Because otherwise we leave them hanging. If we leave and she never shows up, then you'll tell the story. I woke up this drunk. Yeah. And got into the wrong elevator.

I'm in a service elevator there's some kind of you know the the blowing machine that dries a carpet yeah like after a flood this doesn't seem like the right elevator and then it stops and this cute little girl named marley gets on the elevator doing room service and she's like i go hey am i a 50 year old dude by the way i've been saying i'm 50 since i turned 48 fuck you i'm turning 49 tomorrow and at some point when i am actually 50 people are gonna go you've been saying you're 50 forever. Like I'm lying about my age. I just round up. So I'm not quite 50.

I take offense to that. I just turned 50 and you're being a son of a bitch. Your mother just died too. Your mother's dead too. Turns out she was holding her breath. She's still alive. Chaley texted me, hey, my mother died. Chaley texted me, hey, my mother died.

I go, hey, now we can both eat Pez for breakfast without getting yelled at. That might have been on the last podcast. I texted you, mom died. How's your crazy wacko part-time girlfriend? That's what I fucking texted. Bingo's good. She's fine. Can we get her on? Can we do a phone call?

She's still trying to meet her doctor. She's had two in two days preliminary visits with her doctor. And now after tomorrow that she can't meet her doctor, she gets to meet her doctor for reals this time. How long has she been there? She's meeting with doctors. I'm meeting with lawyers because the entire system is fucked, and I have a lot of time off where I'm coming after you. Assholes, your time has come, and I'm a time bomb.

I'm going to explode all over you people. Spick, nigger, faggot, bum. Your daughter is one. That's a 10-minute podcast, and if you can Google search that song, you're going to find the Diamond Dogs, I believe. I can't remember. I just got a clip off the movie. What was the name of the movie?

It's Time Square. Yes. Tim Curry's in that? Tim Curry, Time Square. That fucking soundtrack is the only music I really like. Part of the 30-day tin can rehab. Yes, it was. All right.

We'll be back with 10 more minutes in 10 more minutes. Maybe.