The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #546 Mimosa Madness w/ Eva Rupert (Naked & Afraid) (AUDIO)

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

#546 Mimosa Madness w/ Eva Rupert (Naked & Afraid) (AUDIO) Doug asks 3-time Naked & Afraid contestant, Eva Rupert, all the questions he's wanted to yell at the TV while watching the show over the years. Joined by Gretchen Bonaduce, Suzanne Walsh and Bingo, the afternoon soon descends into Mimosa Madness! Support the podcast and get full videos weeks earlier, special announcements and extra content at www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast LINKS - DraftKings.com - Support the show and download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STANHOPE. New customers can turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast i bought you something because i know you like to eat bugs yes nothing pairs better with mimosas than sour worms the best yep the best so yeah naked and afraid i will have to hit that at some point like do you like do you even go out where to meet new people without going all right i'm gonna have to bring up the naked and afraid thing again does it happen to you every day like i can't say like i live in bisbee without being like is doug stanhope your best friend you could say yes yes yes he is yeah yeah I it happens on a regular basis maybe not every single day but definitely every airport every public outing there's always I call it naked and afraid sightings

yeah you'll see him I mean this you know this I'm sure this happens to you guys too like you'll see like you'll be in a grocery store like in Tucson or something and then you'll see people looking at their phone and looking at you and looking at their phone and looking at you. I love it because it's random enough that someone will go and they'll be over the top,

fucking Doug Stanton! And nobody else has any idea who Doug Stanton is. The one guy is losing his shit. And then he'll drag some unsuspecting stranger into it like, that who Doug Stanton is. The one guy is losing his shit. And then he'll drag some unsuspecting stranger into it like, that's Doug Stanton! That's Doug Stanton! And the buddy's like, uh, uh, uh.

Yeah, I have no idea what that means. Airports are the worst. They're the worst. They're great, right? I like it. We were just talking about that. I was telling you how we could not do Disneyland when I was married to my ex-husband, Danny, because... Danny Bonaduce yeah we would be um in these things you know the lines and they circle around and you stand at disneyland forever and then he would be trapped there and you

couldn't go anywhere with people with cell phones who just wanted pictures and there was nowhere to go so like we just couldn't even go because it was so horrifying for him that now he had to take pictures with 10 000 people on the log ride or the you know whatever ride the pictures are the fucking worst like i'd rather like louis ck when i'm not taking pictures anymore but I'll talk to you for a few minutes. And this should be way better than this dumb picture with a fake smile. But I remember I was in Tallahassee, Florida. We had just driven from whatever the gig was the night before for hours. And we sat down at sushi and the bar was open except for one guy who was just getting his bill.

And I go, he's just paying. So let's sit at the bar so we don't have to fucking and he's he recognized me and then ordered more sushi oh he's like take that so so yeah there's there are times where you're stuck with someone the whole time. Go ahead. My best time was when it was an airport. I got recognized. It was really outlandish, and they never recognized Stan. He was standing next to me the whole time. It was all about bingo.

It was so great. I used to love when that happened too. When people were like, aren't you great? And Danny's right there. But that really didn't happen often. They pretty much recognized it. Oh, this one was once. But I understand how you relish that.

Because it's so great on your own that people realize you. And that's a pretty amazing thing to be. It wasn't even amazing. It was just hysterical. I love it. She would be on Howard Stern with me. We're known as a couple as much as just me on my own.

She's got blue hair. You're hard to miss. She usually dresses in some kind of outlandish fucking gown. Top hat. Cow suit with a top hat. Whatever. I. Top hats. Cow suit with a top hat and whatever.

I still love it. It was the best thing in my whole life. I just said. So the people that recognize you, I would assume you get a lot of pervs. Online. The pervs are online. It's always nice people in public. Like in public, they're like, oh, my God, hold my child.

Let's have a selfie. Like that's awesome. But like online, It's always nice people in public. Like in public, they're like, oh my God, hold my child. Let's have a selfie. Like that's awesome. But like online, it's really creepy. And here's what I didn't realize. Foot fetishists. It's a whole thing. Oh yeah, that is. What? Yes.

I don't have that. No, it's a total thing. And like, especially when it first came out, like, and I could have made a ton of money because one guy was like, hey, can I pay you in bitmo bit bitcoin yeah bitcoin whatever bitcoin for a picture of your feet i should have said yes i mean i could have so much money at this point wow let's see your feet right now there's nothing if your feet are that spectacular we need to see them right it's i mean we could do could do. I don't know. You'd have to charge extra.

They're tattooed on the top, but the bottoms. I just watched a podcast, the first podcast you ever did, I think five, six years ago. Whose podcast was it? It was, come on, Ed. It's the dumbest name. Horny and. Hangry and Horny and...

Hangry and Horny with Tony. Ah, Tony, what a good guy. And she's sitting on his fucking couch with her fucking shoes up. You're like, honey, this isn't your show. Put some shoes on. She was putting her toenail. In fact, one of the first things she did... Was I? Yeah, yeah.

Did I pick picking my toes? It was great. That's awesome. What you see is what you get. There's like, it is. Like, it's the same even no matter where you see me. The irony is, like, one of the first things she did on her first naked in the fray, because she was on a couple when you were on with Jeff, is started fucking weaving her own shoes.

For Jeff. Oh, they were for Jeff? They were for Jeff, yeah. Because he's a little tenderfoot. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're no tenderfoot. I saw you. Not only did you have your shoes off up on his couch Indian style,

but you were digging at your toes the whole time. That's awesome. I love that. They probably needed it. Was I crushed out of a Naked and Afraid trip? I probably was. I don't know. It looked like you were fucking hooves. They probably needed it. I think I'm going to throw up a little. Was I crushed out of a Naked and Afraid trip? I probably was. I don't know. It looked like you were fucking hooves.

They weren't feet. They are definitely hooves. Right after. Oh, nice. You would cure a foot fetishist. No. Oh, no. They pay big bucks for that.

They want them in mud. They want them in... They like them dirty. Ew. Oh, okay. But wait a second. Get them on your YouTube. What in the world made you want to do it in the first place?

That's what I'm thinking. How did you go, oh, I'm naked. I'm going to be on TV. So it's the best, right? So I was walking home from work one day. I was living in Prescott, Arizona, and the phone rings. And they're like, hey, Eva, this is a casting agency. I don't know.

I'm not a Hollywood person. I don't know anything about this. And I'm like, oh, cool. And they're like, hey, we're doing a survival show. And I'm like, great. I've been teaching wilderness survival for like a decade at this point okay teaching primitive skills taking people out into the backcountry and they're like we've got this great new show coming out it's really exciting and this is 2012 ish cold call yeah probably 2010 at that point and because the show wasn't on tv yeah it didn't exist and they're

like do you know who bear grills is i'm like yeah i've It didn't exist. And they're like, do you know who Bear Grylls is? I'm like, yeah, I've heard that guy's name. They're like, well, same executive producer as Bear Grylls. Very cool. And I'm like, oh, that guy's famous. That's cool. They're like, totally legit. Discovery Channel. I'm like, awesome.

Love it. And they're like, there's a catch. You're going to be naked. And I was like, shut up. Are you kidding? What kind of bullshit is that? That sounds like a joke. It sounds like a joke it sounds like a joke and

i was like nah whatever and she was like no really it's gonna be huge it's called how they lured runaways into porn exactly totally you're looking for this like you're looking for the white van that says like magazine subscriptions you're like which car do i get into you know like where's the free candy but it's like it just was this thing because it was before the show so they were bringing people out screen testing trying to figure out if it was going to work like is this viable like are survivalists willing to walk around naked in the middle of nowhere and sure enough they were and so like the way it rolled out in those early days is like they had a whole bunch of people with like skill sets like mine which is like legitimate like survive in the wilderness um and like basically they ran the first pilot season and put it on tv like the moment the humans

of america saw it like everybody freaked out lost their shit they called me they're like can you get on a plane to africa on friday it was like tuesday and that was it came on we had never seen the show it was never like a thing like nowadays like people who go on naked and afraid are like i'm i'm gonna survive the apocalypse because i did a like adventure race once and you're like no like no not really but like back then it was like legit survival people like people who know how to live in the backcountry. I want to know, how long was your flight and how many stops? It was Madagascar. Dude, the flight to Johannesburg, South Africa, is the longest flight.

15 hours. JFK to Joburg is the longest flight you can take on the planet Earth, basically. And then coming back, it's even longer. So imagine being starving, naked, on camera, just completely fucked. Was it naked and afraid and coach? Oh, full coach.

Full coach. Listen, think how much money they save on past services. They know Hollywood. They're not flying you anywhere. Also, it had to prepare you. At least I can stretch out my legs. I'll be naked, there'll be bugs, but I can stretch out my fucking legs.

Totally, totally. Well, I got back from that first flight, that first naked and afraid in Madagascar, and stayed in New York for a couple weeks just to be in a city where I could be anonymous. I have friends there, but it's not like being in Bisbee or Pres like Prescott or Flagstaff, like the places that I live now where it's like, you walk down the street and you know everybody, but like,

you can be in New York and be so anonymous and it's awesome. And that's all I wanted after being like constantly on camera the whole time. And so one of the first things I did was go get a pedicure and like that poor lady. So like, I'm fresh out of making an appraisal. I'm like, this is time for a mani pedi, right? Yeah, fresh out of making an appraisal i'm like this is time for a mani pedi right yeah totally i go into some salon and i'm like okay i just gotta warn you like my feet are a little rough this is awesome the poor lady i hope i took her like a hundred percent you know what i always wonder about those pitch meetings like who got that who went so get this we're in africa i got an idea and there's everyone's naked and you know it's just crazy to me how they sell these ideas well you said like so so you fly

from uh joe berg to madagascar whatever their capital is and then it's the three hours from there well here's what was so cool so the rest the entire production team got delayed so i flew out i leave phoenix or wherever i flew from get to madagascar i show up and there's like a production assistant a driver and a bodyguard and they're like hey we're gonna be hanging out for like a whole bunch of days because everybody else flying out of la is totally delayed so prior to doing that first naked and afraid i got to like travel around madagascar like stay at all these cool places like everybody else had a shower it was out with the crew make a friend who's gonna give you a sandwich pass me a snickers

did you ever sneak food off a fucking catering truck not. No, it happened in theory during the 40 day. I did the first XL season too. And there were all kinds of rumors flying around about so-and-so is stealing from craft services and na-na-na-na-na. So-and-so is planning a raid of the snack bag that the sound guy

has. But I don't think any of it happened. People are pretty, you take it pretty serious when you're out there, you know? Because for all the bullshit you see on television it's a really amazing experience when you're doing it because you're like doing your thing you know yeah i was like the the solitude that hit me that there's probably no solitude because there's always someone you kind of want solitude after a while. Yes. Like, you're filming. There's a guy there. Oh, there's a guy. But isn't there also, like, another person? Or no? Is it just one?

It's you and your partner. Okay, yeah. So there's two people. And, like, me and my partner in my Madagascar one, Jeff, like, we made a pact on day one. Like, we're getting to the end. We're doing it together. We're not going to be, like, fighting and bickering.

Was he cute? Like, were you happy he was naked and afraid god bless jeff zoush he's a good guy you know i you know there was no attraction is what you're saying you don't keep in touch i mean every now and then i'll be like what's up jeff or he'll be like what's up eva you know i can't say that we're like bffs or anything but he's a good guy he's he was like the big thing like they're like theFFs or anything, but he's a good guy. He was like the big thing, like the way they spin it. So there's what actually happens, and then there's the way they spin it for television. So they put the Hollywood treatment on it.

And so they're like, he's Mormon. She's a feminist. They're not going to get along. And that's like the angle. Yeah, they create the comic like that. Yeah, they create the thing. They look at your resume and go, okay, he's a vegan and she worked at a fucking Jimmy John's where she doesn't cut roast beef.

How is this going to fucking... Totally. The flames will ensue. And we know that's what they do. They totally do. And it's so funny to watch it because they'll be like, some guy's got a camera on you. You'll stub your toe. And there's a cutaway of your face and you're like, ow.

And they're like, Eva and Jeff hate each other and didn't speak for the rest of the day. You're like, no, I stubbed my toe. Like, fuck you. Was there ever a point where they took something you had said somewhere else completely out of context and put it into another scene, but they don't show your face? Oh. It looks like you're saying it right now. Absolutely.

Absolutely, yeah. Like, our entire episode is that, to the point. I mean, like, I think, like, all the terms of my contract are long gone, so I think I can say this stuff in public now, but, like, it's, like, pretty much, like, like, what actually happens and what happens on TV are two completely different stories. Like, they say, like, we burned down our burned down our cave and like we burned our snakes.

I'm like, you trust me to survive naked in the middle of nowhere for a month. And you think I'm going to burn a fucking snake. I'm going to eat that shit, which is exactly what we did. So you watch the show. We didn't burn the fucking snake. No,

man. I was wondering when I read that. I didn't even see that part. I read it and I go, how do you burn a snake to the point it's inedible is what yeah what i read it's just it's just this fucking reddit oh my god oh god i bet yeah there's actually there's a couple of real gems and it's like you know sometimes when it first like the first one when it first came out people were like so fascinated by the show that it was fine and

maybe the internet wasn't as angry back then because it was like 10 years ago yeah but then as time progressed like the internet got angrier and angrier and people get like more and more savage. Yeah. And they're like, I'm going to come to your house and murder you because you killed that snake and ate it. And you're like, whoa, guy. Like, or maybe you should like maybe find a therapist or something because that sounds

like a better idea. Yeah. Like, it looks like, you know what? And if you're that kind of crazy, my address is 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. I feel like if you... I'll go after her. Come over here. We're friends.

I'm going to go make a drink. I totally think that if you had a contract and you sign that any... What's it called when they do... No, when they do another thing off of it and you get to keep part of it a... Oh, yeah. Any... Oh, God. what is the call like okay so like residuals no not residuals yeah if they do that then you get so i feel like you need to do naked and afraid psychiatrist and you should own that right now yeah yeah i'm buying the domain

right now buy it right now because you know that i feel like you should own that that that happened to you so i think about this kind of thing all the time right like you're in the hospitality business i'm in the hospitality business the people who like or like anybody who's ever owned a restaurant or a bar or done anything in the public eye people get on your yelp and they're like one star like gretchen looks better with blue eyeliner on you know what i mean like and they're like what where do you pull that shit out of your ass like they just say evil things for no reason and you get the blame you like it's like a restaurant and they're like gretchen i came in there and someone was served a beer and they wouldn't give me one and

it's like they blame you they blame you it's It's your fault. Yeah, I'm like, well, our liquor license was temporary because I failed to get it. But I was there, and I actually had it in my hand. But my staff couldn't give it to you. Bar Rescue is my guilty hate pleasure. And they're just so blatant about where you can't. It sounds like we're talking about like they cut in john taffer saying this which you know he didn't say till after the fact you should probably yell at that point but we'll just have the back of your head as a cutaway and you can't but there was one the other day where

they they're cockroaches they're doing the surveillance of the bar and they go and then there's cockroaches which i've seen a bunch of times where i go i know they planted that this time like because you get like he was like nat geo stock footage like the b-roll on naked and afraid is like right all right that fucking that alligator there yeah almost extinct spotted leopard it's nowhere it's a different film quality. Totally. It's not anywhere near. It's hilarious. It is what it is. And it's hard. You've got to remember.

Same thing. We'll get reviews at the motel. It'll be like, stayed in a motel room, had only one bed, one star. And you're like, well, you got a hotel. You ordered one with one bed. Yeah, you clicked on it. You could have got the one with two beds. Why didn't you get that one if you wanted two beds, you know?

But it's stupid. I'm the same. Like at my house at the airport, people are like, it was very far out. I'm like, oh, my God. It says that on there to dock me because you're so stupid that you booked it. She owns the John Quill Motel in Old Bisbee. And she has, do you have, are both of your places Airbnbs? Yeah, no, I have several.

Greenway, Manor. And what do you call the airport house? You guys are good to buy. I know. We almost bought that. No shit. That place is awesome. You know what?

Good for me that you guys were worried about your puppy's feet because I just fucking sprayed. The birds out there were. That's the reason. Yep, and I got it. And now you're jealous.ions is that what it's made for no the you know those like prickly yeah like the little things that go in their feet it had a lot but me i know something it was fine it's been fine i had a problem but why because you didn't they didn't want to buy it because they're puppies. They're like those prickly things.

I'm like, you know what I did? But guess what I did? I sprayed, and now I scored because I don't have those, and you guys totally lost out on it. That house is awesome. That place is awesome. I need to know that when I poop, it goes away. It would have never worked for us.

Which, I'm naked and afraid. It's a leech field, isn't it? That would have been naked and afraid for them. For help. For yourself. I want you two to be on So Bad as a team. Oh, my God. Do it.

I'll be your field producer. But would you be naked? Zero skill. I don't give a shit if someone sees my naked ass would you be naked we have no skill whatsoever not because of the shame

and we're grotesque discomfort I don't have no problem pulling my dick out on stage to make people upset you got five bucks. You got to get from the Hitching Coast to Elmo's. Never! That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

That's what I wanted to pitch is naked and afraid urban edition. It's huge. It could be huge. Like, you're in a city that doesn't speak English. Ooh. That is interesting. Where nudity is definitely an issue you're like stone to death like we're talking about like public mexico uh yeah all the catholic countries that we would

want to do it someplace maybe eastern european where the chances of anyone speaking english so you can't ask you can't ever put on clothes. You can hide yourself behind someone. Yeah, like in a bush. Like if you're trying to run into a 7-Eleven to shoplift to eat, you could like, hey, there are kids coming with a kid who's about genital height. I'll hide behind him so they don't notice.

That reminds me of Austin Powers. Remember that scene where they were, oh my god, it's so funny, where Oh, he's got like, it's so funny where uh oh he's got like he's putting like things in yeah like like he's got like a melon and yeah that's a very funny scene yeah but i think your concept for the biz being naked and afraid is a very good idea all right let's play a I got to throw my shit in the dryer. Hey, it's DraftKings, folks.

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Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See dkng.co slash bball for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. And we're back. Yeah, but I think your concept for the biz being naked and afraid is a very good idea. And I bet you... If you remember, there was a time some... What's the grand?

Some drunk local regular drunk who fucking hated tourists. And he hated the ghost tour especially. The ghost tour is going by. So he went out and fucking mooned him. And they arrested him. No. And they were going to charge him as a sex offender. They were going to charge him where he would have to register because there were kids on the tour.

And they saw his ass. Oh, shit. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. Well, I feel like we should put this together, you guys. Naked and Afraid Bisbee. We'll make sure there's no kids. I think you two should be.

It's Bisbee. There's no kids here. The average age is like 65 in this town. We're not lying. There are some kids. There definitely are. But I just think that would be so funny that if we could pull up a Naked and Afraid. Yeah, you have to set the rules.

It would be very tough because we know people. Well, you know, I'm running for mayor. Oh, also that's gonna be your campaign strategy yep i'm gonna be uh naked and afraid you just need a pixelated bikini i've thought about this often like you just get like a flesh toned pixelated bikini i had i had that in my list of uh stupid questions it would almost be worse i don't know i had My list of stupid questions yesterday was would you do the same show if they only showed your breasts and vagina

and blurted out the rest of it? It is awesome. I love that. Isn't that a dating show on one of the networks? You're just like, blurt. Hey, that's my show. I love that show. I think there's a that show TNA Survivor I think there's a new show I don't remember the name of it

I love that show the British where they don't show people's faces and you have to pick your date you know what I'm talking about I watch it with anybody who will come to my house which is no one but my cat but you know what I'm talking about, right?

Yes, I watch all the time. Yeah, like, it's crazy. No, but there's a new show. I mean, I'll show you a face. No, it's a dating. It's not an outdoor survival show. Do you have clothes on? You have clothes on?

No, you just have a bag. You're just naked. You're picking people's bags. And you have a bag over your head. Yep, yep, pretty much. Weenies and boobies. That's great. They slowly show you the person, and then they go, okay, here's their genitals.

I love it. And then they go up, and here's their body. Can you do that in Europe? I watch it with my cat every day. It's British. It's British. And it's on Netflix. The guys are like, give me a really big blur.

I need a really big blur. Like a blur below my knee. No, but it's not blurred. You can see it. Yeah, you can see it. That's awesome. What channel is this on? Netflix. You said Netflix, right? I'm not sure. PBS. You know, I'm just never,

I'd never be secure enough to that. I don't want my genitals under any circumstances judged ever. You don't even notice. When you any circumstances like judged ever i don't you don't even know like when you're on the naked and afraid like it's like weird for the first two minutes and then you just don't even realize it really do you ever like spread evil and they have it or no i'm sure i'm a woman who picks my toes and during a podcast so of course you can't even imagine like digging at it there's like you got in there girl and i noticed that you just you touched oh awesome did i like get some crust out of there

and like flick it picking your teeth in your ears. You guys, I'm so about to vomit right now. This is like, no. I love that. It's gross. I'll bring this shit over. There we go. You're drinking wine or mimosa? One more wine?

Oh, I'm drinking wine. After we, you know. Just set it down on the table. I'm going to set it down on the table. Yeah. I'm just so intrigued on how you just were like this sounds fun i can't wait to show my ass and my vagina and my boobs for the world to see like i'd be like no no thanks the first uh second podcast we ever did was uh a friend of mine that had just gotten out of a

prison yeah i knew you were gonna say that in brazil he's smuggling coke to one of those midnight express stories and he spent several years in a brazilian prison jesus that's survival right there yeah holy god that can't even compare to your naked no no it was actually super chill yeah what i'm like you're making this sound like fucking meatballs too it's like, yeah. So, you know, one time I had a bunkmate on the bunk on top of me that would jerk off occasionally and wake me up. And I'm like, can you do that when I'm not here? And I'm like, that's one of his hardest stories.

He goes, yeah, it's pretty. But I said that my biggest fear would be no toilet paper. That would be bad. Like, did they film you taking a dump? Like, that would be, that's. That would be bad. Did they film you taking a dump? That's the only time I get. I don't know if it ever makes it to TV, though. But they film you? It's cameras all the time.

Are they even taking a shit? Are they looking in there? That's a solid poop. Nice job. Here's the thing. You're not eating much, so you're not pooping much. It's kind of how it works. Like, you only poop, like, I don't know, a few times.

Wow. I never thought of that. Yeah. Yeah. I like that concept. I would want everyone to know and to feel. I'd be like, hey, it's pooping. Get in here.

It is pretty awesome. I mean, there's kind of a lot of really nice things about it like like what like you don't have to deal with emails or bullshit or your phone ringing no I love that like life is really simple and it's weird like you get back into the real world and it's like culture shock you're just like like and so much of the shit that we like worry about so much totally does not matter. You know what I mean?

Like you're all worried about, I don't know, whatever, like writing back to this guy or dealing with this thing. And it's like when like your world is stripped down to just like surviving all of the crap that we spend all our time worrying about and stressing about and dealing with, you just realize how little most of this matters. You know, it's fun. It's nice. It's luxurious. Like I like to be warm. I like toilet paper too. But like, what's the worst day you ever had? Like what happened that was so bad that you were like, did I just agree to do this? Like what? Oh God, that's a really good question. I don't

know. I think I'm probably still, that's why I'm going to be mayor. I have good questions. It is really true. Well, I also kind of feel like I'm... I think you carry around some kind of PTSD from it because it's kind of traumatic. I can't imagine. You're walking around ass naked, surviving. It's one thing to be alone in the wilderness by yourself, surviving, but it's totally different

when there's a camera crew there paying attention to it because they fuck everything up. They mess up the entire flow of being out in the backcountry. All the animals are like, we're out, catch you later, because they fuck everything up they mess up the entire flow of being out in the back country like like all the animals are like we're out catch you later because they don't want to be there because all these crew people who like you know what smell like axe deodorant spray are like walking around scaring the animals off and like it's real i don't know i mean like i don't know if there's like a worst day what's the but there has to be one where you were like wow what did i sign up for you know i remember this one day during um the xl where it was like a forced march like we basically

had to leave this sweet campsite that we were at it was like gorgeous like you barely even see it in the tv show because it was so nice yeah no no this is in the xl one we were in columbia all right and so like we're in this awesome spot there's mangoes there's like this giant like freshwater stream to swim in and catch fish before you keep going uh how much of this do you think is like because they give you a map and stuff how much do you think they go okay that'll definitely stumble on this if we put it between point a and point b it's so that's interesting because like the 40 day one is a lot more convoluted. Like there's a lot more like, you know, the hand of God comes in.

There's like eight people on it, right? Yeah. I think it starts with eight or 10 or 12. Might be 12. You start with a whole bunch of people and you end up with a whole lot less. It's kind of how the XL1 works. And so like for the original Madagascar one that i did it was still so new back then they didn't have the psychology figured out so it just felt really raw and like interesting you know it was

cool like that one was really they're all really cool like how many have you done i've done three so like 75 total naked and afraid days under my belt wow not all at once in three separate times period in my life the first one was season two so that's way back way way back uh and then the xl so what's the third one shark week no shit yeah shark week and that was the shark one? Shark Week. No. Yeah. Shark Week. And that was the Shark Week, you know, Discovery. Their biggest show is Shark Week. Yes, Sharknado. And so, like, they did a Naked and Afraid Shark Week edition. And so we went to the Bahamas.

There were sharks. Ooh, scary. It actually is kind of intense. It was intense. Like, the sharks are intense. And, like, they were out there, like, chumming the water to get the sharks in because they've spent all this money on like underwater shark teams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like they're out there chumming the water.

And then like the mean sharks, the bull sharks that like basically just kill for fun start rolling in. And like it was hairy a couple of times. So they're not because I went to a shark Ray Alley as a tourist thing in Belize. I didn't go on my own accord. I'm like, all right, fucking hell. Just sit down. Were you naked and on your period? Because that's when it gets real scary.

No, no. I might have been bleeding from the ass from all the drinking, and that ceviche is always suspect. But they take you to a spot where their eels and rays and sharks are trained okay at you know two four and six p.m a guy's gonna come and give us free food so they're all docile yes yeah and they ain't hungry totally totally so i did is that do you think no they these like these were crazy sharks. It was really cool because it was all the shark professionals,

people who their job is doing whatever they do with sharks. And so we're in the Bahamas. They've thrown some meat or whatever in the water, and the sharks start coming in so they can get the good footage. And they're like chill sharks who don't care if you're there. And I grew up in Connecticut. That's kind of near the water but i don't like go to the water that much and then i moved to arizona like i live in the desert now like we're so far from water like it's just not really like part of my experience and so like they they start like

we're all clean from it you know what to do I know. Exfoliated from being in the sand. I know. I was really out of my element. After that Madagascar, your pussy could have chummed the waters all on its own. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Ten years later, still chumming the water. i dove in a shark tank in australia in uh noosa there's a in brisbane there's a water and they will let you if you're famous and i wasn't my husband was so they'll let you dive in that shark tank so they keep the water i can't remember if it's either a little warmer a little colder but something slows them down and so you we got in there and dived or so i was going to ask you were you like a diver do you have your credentials like i have my saving life-saving diver no swimming to me is like sitting in a pool being like toss me a beer like that's swimming for beer like that's swimming in the water with those sharks yes diver no no skills no no skills and that was so that was my character you're not in a cage you're not in a cage they're like they put you on an island and

they're like okay at some point you have to get off the island so we like built a raft and like paddled our little naked booties off the island, off to the next island and got rescued. But there was legit sharks in the water. They gave us a pair of goggles to share and some fins to share, which was cool. That was nice of them. Is this the Mormon guy or is this a different guy?

No, different crew. Different crew. Different other people. Here's a dumb question. I bet every comic watching this would want to know. When you have the thing on Naked and Afraid where you can bring your one thing. Oh, yeah. I want to know.

What did you bring? A knife. It's not that exciting. Yeah, but did they limit you? Because every time we would binge watch that dumb show, i would come up with another stupid thing like wait you you really you brought a ipod or whatever i did suggest a bottle of bourbon i always thought that would be good like at the 40 day one i went in thinking like okay 40 days i can probably let some stuff sit out get kind of fermenty maybe make some hooch while we're out there i thought

it could have been a good trade commodity with the crew but it didn't that didn't end up working it never really happened so i don't know i just like wove some more shoes and cried a lot i don't know i wonder if that would be like in the me too era like you were a guy with a camera and a sandwich working naked and afraid and you go, well you obviously held a position of power over her when you had her give you oral sex. There is no me too. You can say it was consensual, but you can't

really say that when you're a guy with a camera and a sandwich and the lady's nothing but a sea of rashes and bug bites and hasn't eaten anything but a lizard's tail. And toes. The toes alone. I mean, you don't know how to eat water. Wow.

I admire that you did that. I just can't fathom ever doing something like that. That's so brave and hard. But you've gone on from that. It's so sweet. I love that. That's so brave and hard. But you've gone on from that. It's so sweet. First of all, were you ever naked and afraid just for fun? And why don't you think that this show that's

in its 55th fucking season, how come it hasn't spurred on other people to just, without cameras, to go out and try to survive? I'm sure they survive. I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. Over that hill right there

is complete fucking wasteland. Go spend three weeks naked out there. Right. Why not? Eva, I've got your next thing besides Bernarella. It has to be naked and afraid at the John Quill.

Don't you think think don't tell my insurance agent this they're gonna like lose their shit you're like natural progression that you should have like you get afraid weekend like you just show up weekend yep at the john quill and you have to uh do the guidelines that you had and i mean you're gonna just spend the weekend yes don't you think but then how are they gonna go drink in town like i feel like they're gonna get picked up by the cops well you don't let them go then they just stay in the backyard and survive yeah yeah yeah like you guys want a room with the jonko that weekend you just said you tell them here's this materials to make your own oh my god so cute but you can't leave because you'll get arrested. You have to stay here on the junk boat for the naked and afraid woman.

Bonus points if you can steal a bag of Fritos out of the Circle K. Yeah. Between 2 and 4 a.m. I like it. You have missed so many marketing opportunities with being on TV and having this naked and afraid street cred. Did you tidy up for the show going in? Good question.

So, or did you make sure you were full Willie Nelson so people didn't see you letting yourself go over 21 days? Like, I would have colored my hair that day. Like, why is her southern blur getting darker and darker as time goes on? We just like to keep the lady bits neat and tidy. Although, couldn't you see

going full 70s Bush to help protect keeping the creepy crawlies out of your lady bits? I think that would be the way to do it. So what did you do? What did I do? What? Did you go in shaved or did you go in full perm?

No. No, I'm kind of like a Brazilian landing strip kind of combo, so they just kind of roll steady with that. It's been a pretty standard issue for the last 20 years. Not changing for survival purposes. I would have brought my hair extensions. If I had the one thing. You would.

Instead of a knife or matches, you'd have hair extensions. I would have brought my hair extensions. I would have made sure the day before I went that my gray hair was colored. Oh, my God. You're so cute. So that I could, you know. What is it? How long were you there?

21 or 40 days. You take your peg. The gray wouldn't have been that bad in 20 days so I'd have had my hair extensions and I'd have been I have a she'd do full extensions I knew a guy that did

hey I'm a celebrity get me out of here which is like the lightest version of naked and afraid okay and what was the Joe Rogan show? Fear Factor. So it's a combo of Fear Factor, but light. Okay, I never watched it, but he was on it,

and he got knocked out early when he was a baseball. John Rocker. Is this like for like C-list celebrities like me? Because I'm looking for work if anybody's out there looking for work we're going to get to that next the blues band he was an Atlanta Braves pitcher

they based that show eastbound and down on him but without him getting any fucking money for it eastbound and down with Danny Powers anyway so he's on this show and he gets knocked off. But on a lot of these betting sites, and you know where we're going next, a lot of these betting sites have prop bets for, hey, who's going to win Dancing with the Stars?

And so they had bets for that on this one betting site. So he had his friend bet all this money because he knows how it ends. Because he was on the fucking show, but it hasn't aired. won betting sites so he had his friend bet all this money because he knows how it ends because he was on the fucking show but it hasn't aired they limit those bets for this reason right he won like 2500 dollars whoa that's okay that's all right that's more than you get paid for naked and afraid yay that's fine i don't even know anything about that i don't know i feel like we should bet on us right now yeah i'm betting on Gretchen for mayor. I'm so excited.

You're doing it. I am. Ken Budge is back in the running. I know. Did you hear? Yep. He's your competition. Yeah.

No, the rest of the people are non-nothing. But no, I got in because I didn't like a person that was running. I didn't feel like he should run. I'm like, if he can run, I can run. For the record, that person... I'm not saying who he is. I know there's a lot of

good friends of mine that speak highly of that person. If you're a local, I don't know. I didn't say anybody's name. I didn't say anybody's name. I didn't say anybody's name. I'm just telling you. I know people that are worried that you'd say bad things

about the guy. I'm not going to say it. We'll save this for afterwards. I've been in Hollywood too long. I get it. I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to say there was someone I thought shouldn't run and I decided to run. Let me ask you this because because it involves her, too.

Because you obviously want to have a reality show about anything. Well, I wouldn't say that, but I am a businesswoman. I know. I'm not doubting you. Yeah. You've been very open about that since I first met you. Yeah, on a goddamn reality show. I am totally about.

Fixing up the Greenway house. Right, fixing up the Greenway house. This is a little bit more at stake is running for mayor. I know. But you know what? I know what I can bring is probably good. And what I don't know, that's the thing about me. I'm smart enough to know what i don't know that's the thing about me i'm smart enough to know

that i don't know enough and i'm smart enough to know that it's going to be like a co-op of a mayor and i'm going to bring all these people that know to help me evil i think you should go straight for president can we just evil would never spend 21 days in the jungle naked if there was not a camera crew and an audience at the end of the day would you run for mayor i'm asking you the tough questions now would you run for mayor if there's no reality show involved i totally yes because here's the thing i was only going to do it if our show went because I thought it's interesting. And people don't know what it entails to run for mayor. I don't.

So I'm like, well, you know what? It's a learning experience for me because I would like to do it in the future. I wasn't prepared to do it now. But when I saw that someone was running, I'm like, oh, if he can run, I should run. And that's what I decided to do. So I would do it at this point in time for that reason. I will be on your reality show just to make it as silly as possible. Yes.

But yeah, no, I'm always about... Wait, are you making a reality show about me? She's trying. Yeah, you know what? What's it called? Small Town Mayor? Is that the, like, what's the name? No, but it will be definitely a storyline

because I've been pitching it as Bisbee is the Island of Misfit Toys. There's so many great people here. Here is a segment of an idea. No, you've got to talk about the awful people if you want to sell reality. We need conflict. Well, yeah, but I feel like you just get that.

Well, I'll be your bad guy. Okay, you be the bad guy. But no, your question, and yes, I wasn't planning on running this soon. I did want to run, and I know you would want to run. Well, I think I'll do city council, but I travel too much for work right now. So I need to be a little more settled down. But I'm like, well, if you just wait a few years, Gretchen, I'll be on City Castle with you. Yeah.

But I felt like this is what I should do at this time because I felt the person that was running, I felt if you can run, I can run. And so that's what I did. And now I'm getting signatures and I have a lot. And I can bring a lot of attention to Bisbee. That's like my expertise I know people with money maybe I can help them buy the stock exchange and now the copper queens for sale so and then I know people that know everything about coding and zoning because I don't you also have uh you have successful businesses with the airbnbs and Cafe Cornucopia.

You know what? I came here by myself. And I have grown an amazing Airbnb with Greenway. We've tripled the sales of Cornucopia. So much so that we're going into Sierra Vista now. We're going to roll out another location. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't. I'm not dumb.

Don't go the Bisbee Breakfast Club way. That's Bisbee's biggest output right now. It used to be copper. Now it's breakfast. Yes. It's big. And the fuck. Oh, this is going to.

I want to do. Do it. I want to do. We just talked about. I want to stay in a different hotel every night to just see and drink in a different bar. I think you should. I think your opinion would mean a lot to people. Yeah, but the backhanded one I would you should. I think your opinion would mean a lot to people. Yeah, but the backhanded one I would do is I'm going to do the Bisbee tour of places to go if you never want to run into a local.

Oh, shit. That'll be fun. That'll be fun. I won't say any names right now. But yeah, there's a breakfast club. That's the one. Where would you go? It would start at the fucking breakfast club. That's the one. It would start at the fucking breakfast club.

And this is why the fucking shirt that they have that says Bisbee Breakfast Club, often copied, never duplicated. That means the same fucking thing. thing. What you're doing is stealing a cliched hackneyed expression which is often imitated, never duplicated. That's what you're trying to say. So what you're trying to do is

duplicate a cliche. But don't you love it? Okay, but you got it wrong. Now you have two words that mean the same thing. But wait, I'm not fucking dumb lady at the Bisbee Breakfast Company. Often copied. Don't you have five locations through the state?

Are those copies or duplications? So they're not as good as... Yeah, you know, I've never eaten at another one, so I don't know if it's duplicated or copied or not. Do they wear the same shirt? Do they wear a duplication or a copy of that shirt? You fucking morons. I can't even...

I don't like... I don't know. Yeah, that's the question. Hackneyed, garbage, fucking... That's why we made the keep warm stickers because keep this be weird is a fucking hackneyed cliche people don't know what hackneyed means

hackneyed means just tired tropish it's misused commonly as bad use a hack comic no a hack means someone who just does alright so that's why I want to do that. That's good.

I want to do the tour of Yelp. I think it's good. I think it's such a good idea. And people trust your judgment. And that's why you should do what you do. Are you expecting company? No. I'm sorry, Suzanne.

Oh, Suzanne was coming. Suzanne! She has some talk about campaign talk she wanted to have with you. And I told her 3 o'clock, but she's late. Well, you know, I know she was, like, very concerned for me. But I'm like, you know, when you have a worldwide TV show and the world just comes down at you, do you think anyone in Bisbee is saying shit about me is going to bother me?

No. Yeah. Let's save the mayor talk for another podcast. My intentions are good. That's all I want to say. And you're a good, kind person, and you're good at business, and I think those are all really important things. Yes, but...

Yeah. Can you just get a head-to-head mayoral? Can you get all of the Bisbee mayoral candidates on for a pod? Can you do that? I think you should. We did... Well, there used to be people running. People ran for

city council. We would decide whose name we're going to put up on the deck on a banner. And now no one even runs. And you know why? Because people have skeletons. And people that could be good don't want to put their family through

that. You know, that's a thing that when you... good don't want to put their family through that. You know, that's a thing. I don't. People don't want to get shit at Safeway for $400 a month. That's what it is. That's what the mayor makes here, $400 a month. Which I'm donating back. Because it's not that funny. Oh, he's the mayor of a town now.

That's not funny. Not for two years of someone flicking your shit at the fucking... I'm trying to buy discount meat just like you. I'm in the discount fish section. You know, when you're buying discount tilapia, it's not a time that someone wants to, you want to hear

Mr. Mayor. Yes. I don't want to hear That is so our safe way in a nutshell is like one day expired tilapia. I'm like, the fish section's fucked up. I know, but you know. Oh, hang on, hang on.

Let's get back to this. What wouldn't you eat? Because I know you said like. Discount tilapia. But you eat crickets. I eat crickets every day. How did it feel to be, what do you call it? Appropriation.

Cultural appropriating the homeless for money how did that feel that's amazing i love it you ever talk down to homeless people that you need to go oh really the guy who sits in the safeway parking lot with the wounded warrior in the trunk of his reliable automobile in the handicapped spot. And he just has wounded warrior as his sign. Doesn't say give me money. Just you assume. But you know what he told me today? He said, I sit here until I get $75.

That's what it costs me for my hotel room. So that's what he told me. Hotel room? Yes. He said, I sit here every day until I get $75. He was there earlier. Yeah, I sit here today. We have the $75. He was there earlier. Yeah. He was there today. We have the richest homeless people in the world in this country.

So do you ever look at a fucking that guy and go, I ate crickets. And those were the good bugs. The world is your oyster, my friend. Just go out into those backwoods over there. She's compared crickets to, those are pretty good. They're like popcorn. Yeah, you just toast them up. It's all good.

It's good. It's good. High protein is very big in the you just toast them up. It's all good. Good. It's good. High protein is very big in the paleo community to eat crickets. Very big. High protein, you know? Don't have to sit on the trunk of your car with a cardboard sign. Is there stuff that you didn't eat on the show?

Yeah, I don't eat stuff just like for sensation. Well, I know. I got fucking goddamn shrimp I bought before I found out you're allergic to shellfish. You guys did the research. Help yourself, Suzanne. You did your research. I am allergic to shellfish. That's why I'm an hour late. I would just like to say for the record, they did no research on what I might like.

They only tried to find out. You're the friend. You're the friend on this one. Yes. Suzanne Walsh was the friend when we talked to you. Oh, look at you. And then I found out she's a fucking chatterbox all on her own. Is she so wonderful?

Oh, God, I'm a talker. Forget it. Yeah, I remember. But, you know, I just can't believe. I just am so intrigued. Like everyone. Like, what would make you just go i'm gonna be naked on tv and the world's gonna see me doesn't it just seem like a good idea like how do

you say no to that it's just it just really suzanne would do it she probably is someone that would does naked and afraid absolutely in bisbee in her own hot tub. Like anyone else would think. You don't even need cameras. There's no cameras required for it. I really like the idea of the challenge of like getting from the hitching post

to Elmo's on $5 with no clothes on in Bisbee. I think it's huge. I think it's got a ton of potential. Yeah. It has to, you have to even up

the stakes with men and women where obviously we did a hidden camera prank at a death valley party where we had we could see for probably i don't know 10 miles if a car is coming and so we set up and we had a girl hitchhiking naked naked hitchaked Hitchhiker was the name of the prank. We did it on our own and then ended up selling it to the Mad Show because it was so funny. So our friend, she was hitchhiking naked next to a broken down minivan. And so when someone would slow down to pick her up because she's young and hot and naked, five of us naked dudes would jump out go thanks very much but a lot of them are like german tourists and shit they don't care like yeah like

come into the minivan it's very very hot well you'll be no close so yeah that uh i love it uh fuck and then what did you do with it? So you sold it to the Man Show. And then did you not expand it further to? No, no. The point is, if we were to do Naked and Afraid. Disney? Urban.

Urban edition? Urban. You would have to have something where a woman doesn't have the advantage of well of course a naked chick but not a naked guy you have to so you have to set the rules where it balances that dynamic i don't know how you balance that out though yeah i mean how do you balance that mexico with a pizza box that said you know need a ride yeah and then uh I got a ride, my boyfriend would jump out of the bushes and we'd get a ride. And we went all through Mexico. I know.

That was the whole set up to make an hitchhiker. Don't you hate when the fucking guy's off in the bushes and you pick her up? Which I was always the opposite. I would never pick up a chick hitchhiking alone because, oh, fucking stranger danger. Right. That guy that should have been in the bushes is looking for her and now he's going to be hitting your bumper going, what are you doing

my girl? So then what you're saying is you would pick up a naked guy before a naked girl. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, interesting. I don't know, it's an interesting concept. Nobody fucking starts me too fucking.

No naked dude says, yeah, I was just naked and hitchhiking and then this guy. Hang on. You know what that reminds me of? This commercial break. And we're back. Gretchen, you need to be my agent. I will so help you. You could really have helped maximize my naked and afraidness. No, I just feel like you are such an entity of yourself that you have so much potential for many things.

I've got ideas. I've got ideas. I've got a couple of i got a couple ringers well you know what i am now plugged into the biggest production companies because we're trying to sell a show about bisbee you're doing it right yeah which i'm so insulted that doug's like oh will you run for mayor i'm like but that's separate from no but i'm that's is it not okay yeah because i ran into kevin this weekend no i can't know kevin this weekend was like gretchen's running for mayor because this other fucking guy blah blah blah and i was like yeah you're great no you know what then i saw that ken budge is running for mayor again yep and he is and had i known that i might not

have jumped this fast because i heard you would like to run for mayor. Not this time, though. Friends don't let friends run for mayor. No, and I don't want half of the town to fucking hate me all the time. I like people to like. You don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. All right, and we're back with men talking.

Hey, we're on another episode of Shush, Shush, Men Talking. Shut the fuck up. With me and all the ladies in the world. Shut the fuck up. With me and all the ladies in the world. You actually, and it was one of my questions, but then as I researched more, you, like, where do you go from naked and afraid? You get some kind of a modicum of fame?

And you actually, you do motivational speaking. You do. I would love to do more. All right. I'm available for work. So if you need something motivational, I'm your girl. Call me first. Eva Rupert with 1p.com. You can go there.

That's a good place. And yeah, you write well. I don't ever think of it as like, like it feels like this. I call you the effervescent Eva Rupert. I think somebody else, didn't somebody else coin that? What? That fucking. Effervescent Eva? Wow, look I think somebody else, didn't somebody else coin that? What, that fucking? Effervescent Eva? Wow, look at your copy.

That's good. You've done your research. I'm really impressed. I think this is great because I feel like I'm just hanging out. We're in Warren, a neighborhood in Mississippi, Arizona. This is lovely. I love this. You know what?

You never thought about this back when you were at Rizzo's in Sherman, Connecticut. Oh, my God. What? Talk about. Wow. She just worked on cars for free. But you are such an intimidating woman. I'm mad at you right now because you know all the shit about her.

But when I came on, you didn't know nothing about me. So, like, I'm sorry. I didn't know anything. Thank you. Yes. Anything. But still, I'm just saying that. I didn't know anything anything but still I'm just saying that

you should feel special like when I came out I was like oh nothing about you I did do research on you you did not I love that you did that on her and they had all these snacks

I didn't have these snacks Gretchen you come to my I don't have a podcast yet, but you'll be my first guest. I'm going to do so much research, and I'm going to have snacks, and you guys can come all be the special guests. We need this guy to press the button. You give this girl an hour. When she was a student in Bethel,

she had an hour where she turned it into an art class, a photography class. She's not just a student. She ran the program. You give this girl an hour, she'll give you a goddamn podcast. And what about me? What about the hours that you spent on to find out about me?

I told Eva I wanted to do a serial killer burlesque. It's on the... And she goes, oh, let's do a whole show around it. Yes. Thank you. No, that is Friday night, April 19th at the Jonquil Motel.

It's a Jeffrey Dahmer themed burlesque show. It's going to be good. It's going to be so good. Everybody knows about it. Andy Andress is going to be here the fucking week before that. Wait, but will you be here? Will you be here? April 420 weekend.

April 19th. You were just saying you wanted to stay at the hotels. I did rent the house next door. I've got a space. We've got options in Old Bisbee. I have sober drivers. We need that.

Okay, good. It's down to Derek. I called him last night. I'm like, how did you get to the floor? Well, now I think there's a plan. We got a plan. Friday night is going to be good. It's going to be fun.

It's going to be super fun. Will you check me a paper towel? No, I just would like to say. She just gave her an idea and she makes an event. But I'm going to say i'm like wait we need a reason to have a party i think this is sunday great we should have though it's a jeffrey dahmer this is suzanne's creation okay it's she is the one you wouldn't let me yes riot girl this was too dark yeah oh is that what it was yeah i love it it's perfect

and it's my favorite thing is I'm like, Oh yeah. And then on Friday night, we're doing a Jeffrey Dahmer themed burlesque show. And people are like happy hour. I like the happy hour part. And I'm like, yeah, no, it's awesome. And they're like, Oh yeah, it's awesome. So he's great. Add the John Wayne Gacy art show. Yes. Yes. Without a doubt. I just feel like the weirder, the better, right? And like,

no harm, no fault. I have a great crawl space for that. Wow. Gacy's crawl space art show. Like, you have to duck a little bit and there's some nails

coming down. Oh, yeah. I think it's perfect. Yeah. I think it'll be really fun. I just feel like... You know what? You have a sense of humor.

That's me. Like, I know people are like, oh, this seems like not in good taste. I'm like, I have a sense of humor. We're saying it in a joke. No, you just don't invite the people that don't have good taste. Right. And here's the thing. Not good taste.

A sense of humor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People that have good taste aren't coming. We need the people that have a sense of humor. Yes. Yes. And who's the judge of all this stuff? You like this thing.

You like that thing. You like the other thing. Nobody's righter than anybody else as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, then just know who you're inviting. Right. Yeah. Right. And invite them to a Jeffrey Dahmer-themed thing.

Don't say, hey, we're having a fun night or live entertainment. What'd you say? It's a Jeffrey Dahmer serial killer. Is it Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy? I can't keep it straight. I can't get my... Crosstalk. It's goddamn crosstalk.

That's why Suzanne Walsh... Alex is pissed. She can't fucking control the crosstalk. He's so mad right now. And remember that we're recording. Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer is the guy that murdered all the boys. And then what was the other one? We were just, oh, Bundy is a different name.

Yeah. John Wayne Gacy. I mean, we got a lot. Most murdered the gals. Yeah, with the clown. That's the Gacy guy. Yeah, that was the boys. Yeah, but that's the one you want to do is the, oh, wait, no, am I wrong?

We're doing Ted Bundy. If someone shows up dressed in. No. Oh, wait. No, am I wrong? We're doing Ted Bundy. If someone shows up dressed in the wrong attire, oh, I thought you meant Gacy, not Dahmer. Let me go to my car. I think I have something. I love it.

That's so bad. You know, that's my favorite thing about Bisbee, though. Most people have such a good sense of humor that they get it. Like, none of us mean any harm ever in anything we're doing it's just funny if you have a good sense of humor now if you don't then you're gonna be offended and don't come you know and uh uh you know to me that's oh

shit sorry i was like why am i sorry i'm can you get her a new glass you put that right there well now you're bringing mine you don't care I'm going to pick my toes for a minute really quick, just leave me alone I'm just so about freedom and that's the thing to me like we have so lost our

ability to agree to disagree and I have so many friends that I disagree with about whatever. But I still love you and we still should be able to be friends. Like, how terrible

that we're in this thing in the world where, you know, nobody... She's already running for mayor. Uh-huh, she's mayor and you're mayor. Is this Springer's final thoughts?

What the fuck is going on with this podcast? I love it. We should all get along? No, I'm just saying. We're not even done with fucking bugs crawling up our assholes. I know, but I'm just saying that we've gotten to the space where people can't. It's freedom. Like, freedom should be, you should be.

I like everyone that I like. I don't care what they think. I'm going to have to work on your campaign speeches. Wait, what's wrong with me saying I think freedom should be across the board and everyone should be free? I think in the corporate world, they call it redundancy. Well, you've said it once, and you don't need to. If you're telling a lie, you need to repeat it over and over again until people believe it. You're right.

You're saying the truth, and let's get back to bugs in a cuda. Okay, let's do that. People turn into bugs in a cuda. Not so much the parallels of morality oh i love it all right let's talk about the bugs in your cuda because gretchen i love and support all of your decisions she was standing on the at the at west cliff outside of san jose with a coffee in her hand. And the storm clouds were rolling in and you had to make a decision. And I was like, peace out, motherfuckers.

I'm leaving. Man, you're really good. This is deep, deep research. Like, this is like, yeah. They're innuendos, huh? No, no, no, no. It's like literally a podcast that I did probably one year ago. When you were on.

A long time ago. Let's just use Jeff as the example. Okay. No, no, no. Let's go to XL because he had a bunch of dudes. Bunch of dudes. Were the dudes playing up because they all, everyone, there's no such thing as reality when there's a camera because everyone knows.

Okay. I'm being, were you, were you playing more to the camera or to the person, your partner? Are you playing to them or is anyone smart enough to be playing to the eventual viewing audience? That's a really good question. So that's a really good question because And so that's a really good question because I'm thinking about it for myself. I wish I remember. Do you trip?

Like mushrooms, LSD, ketamine. Mushrooms. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Okay. This would be like Patreon only. If we could all do mushrooms and watch your show on mushrooms and go

what were you fucking thinking there oh dude because you'll be able to see it you'll see it in my face and i'll be like oh that was the moment when i was like you know whatever i don't even know i don't even know um do that that's that's patreon only yeah absolutely yeah we're gonna we're gonna make a in on the joke patreon level where you have to pay a lot of money so we can talk shit about people that oh not alex he's really no no oh them yeah built a fucking a guard tower over my house he's got little people it's a it's a two-decker storage unit that to guard tower over my house? What the fuck is that? He's got little people all over it. It's a two-decker storage unit to look down into my house. Creepy.

He's expecting Johnny Depp to show up at any moment. I don't know. Ew. So what do you do? Put up a bigger fence? What do you do? We'll talk about it off the air. All right.

And will he? You edit this, right? These are cut. No. Nah. Fuck it. So is that why he did it? Anyway, let's come back to.

We'll put that on the mayoral episode. Episode 927. Neighbors and mayoral candidates of Bisbee. Yeah, no, the mushroom episode of. It's going to be good. Watching Naked and Afraid and like, all right, that's such a lie. That was a cheat. I think everybody's got their own angle, right?

Like, I feel like I'm like real stoic. I just kind of want to get in there. And I want to do my thing. And like, I don't always like, like, I feel like I'm kind of a cheeseball anyways. And so I feel like if I'm on TV, I'm like, Okay, I gotta be like, the straight person, like, I gotta get in there. And like, I gotta be really serious. And I gotta like, you know, catch a lizard and like, make a good shelter and like, rub the sticks together real nice. You know what I mean? Like, that's kind of my thing. That's my shtick. But I think some people come in and they're like, I'm going to kill a boar and I'm going to be a big character

and Naked and Afraid is going to be the biggest thing in my entire life. And it probably is. It just runs the gamut. But don't you think it probably is for most people? And I think that, here's what pisses me off, is I think people think that I think that Naked and Afraid is the biggest thing in my life. I don't give a fuck about Naked and Afraid.

I'm saying that she's, what, you think you're a goddess no you're not no she's always thought nothing less than she's a goddess that's why i think i'm fabulous that's why i do i think that guy god what article is this this is from something not too long ago singular this is like the best research podcast i've ever been on i love it i love it this is really good thank you thank you i love this cheers yay we have further business coming up i'm'm saving you. Yes. Oh, you're going to sacrifice me. No, you're running for mayor. That's a side project. That's why you're the Ed McMahon here.

I'm the Ed McMahon here. We're not trying to bifurcate naked and afraid and you running for mayor. Totally. Wait, what was it that he would always say, Ed McMahon, whenever, what was his comment always? There was like a one. I forget the catchphrase thing. Yeah, but there was something. So I just need you to feed that to me.

Can someone look it up so I can just keep saying that for the rest of the book? We're going to have to look it up on purpose, Gerson. No, look it up. No, it wasn't that. Ed McMahon would say... This I've had out because I was trying to follow...

When you go, you're still doing adventure shit on your own. All kinds. Except it's not naked. No, I wear clothes usually. Unless I'm in the shower or something. So that Bill guy. Bill fucking...

Bill Dragoo. Yeah. Good dude. Yeah,... Bill Dragoo. Yeah. Good dude. Yeah, and you met up with him. You went to 191 up here to Springerville. Have you been up that road? No. Have you been through Marenzi?

I've been this far. Yeah, Marenzi, yeah. That's where One Block been. Hey, One Block, shout out. And you went up here, then you you just like you you're off road a lot of the time that's when you get to past ely i know you said this one off-road thing goes from austin uh nevada which is fucking crazy cool crazy i love i my my go-to is to just drive the back roads of ne. You do it on a fucking dirt bike.

It's the best. It's the absolute best. Have you ever done it in a car? It's so much better. Like when it rains. Because you have air conditioning? In a car? Yeah.

Yeah, totally. Bugs? They hit like. The car. They don't get in your face and all that? Not even in your teeth or anything. I'm going to show you the world once we get rid of this fucking sterling character the love of her life sterling noren the fucking the picture he did was

the uh caballero blanco which is about micah true who's a long distance runner that died actually on a trail in Gila. He had a... I think it was... Fuck. This is so good. I know. I swear to... I'm like blown away right now. Like, what? I love that you know this.

Fucking idiot... Cardio... Cardiomyopathy. Yes, Micah True. He's like amazing. Amazing inspiration. Yeah, fucking died with his fucking feet in a crick. And they go, oh.

But it took him like days because he was in Mexico. And they had to drag him out on a horseback. If you see the film, it's Caballero Blanco. Caballo Blanco. Caballo. Yeah. I don't know how to fucking speak to Mexicans. It's so good.

It's so good. Well, you know, you can have like a little bit of the Caballo Bl I don't know how to fucking speak to Mexicans. It's so good. It's so good. Well, you can have a little bit of the Caballo Blanco experience. The first weekend of May, we're doing a long-distance running camp at the Chonkwell. So you can come. You can learn how to run. I've had the runs long distance. Exactly. Right?

So anyway, I was trying to follow your route when you went uh off-road biking but you you went through ely and the jawbridge jawbridge jarbage jarbage yeah they don't put it on here it's like right there yeah yeah and then up through our he and then you wound up somewhere it's so good you you've kind of trailed off on that story, but I was trying to follow, because this is what we like to do. The next tour, I will always, when I have no act and I'm going to work out an act and go, I do the Mountain Time Zone

because no one can hear you scream. Like you can suck all you want. All the places you ride fucking bikes to. Absolutely. Yeah, Winnemucca? Fucking no problem. You could be big for Winnemucca? Fucking no problem. You could be big for Winnemucca. Sure.

Idaho Falls. Yeah. Yeah. I've sucked. My last book is titled No Encore for the Donkey, and it's based on a specific one show in Idaho Falls that I've done since the 90s, and then the decay of the place over the... Yeah. Oh, that's awesome so yeah i i i love

yeah what you do except i don't like that you're a woman female comedians always uh talk about how they have a hard time having relationships and people are like you're a chick you fucking anyone will fuck you no it's not like that and i see it isn't why female comics would be intimidating because uh even for me as a comic you have a guy sterling that is a guy that does the same shit as you and that's probably the only way you could have a relationship where like i'm a guy that does the same shit as you. And that's probably the only way you could have a relationship where, like, I'm a guy that I've literally hired a handyman to change a light bulb.

And you're a fucking Rizzo's as a kid fucking pulling out transmissions in fucking Sherman, Connecticut. So now you know how to do everything and you're six feet fucking tall and you ride motorcycles off-road alone and i'm going ah dollar tree was out of it and i'm gonna get on next door and complain with the

other old mensch women about yeah dollar tree there's lead in the fucking cinnamon and there was a recall but i'd risk a little bit of lead for a bargain. That would be very upsetting. You're doing pushups and then riding your Harley up to prowl fest. I'm scared to ride on the back. Can you put me in a papoose? I'm getting a sidecar. I'll pick you up you just

tuck right in there it'll be all right i'll come get you that's awesome that's so good i my face hurts she's just she's uh she's wrapping up as the podcast host asking other questions. I'm just going to take over the podcast real quick. We're going to take over the pod. Love it. Oh, wait. That fucking, that podcast, your first podcast you ever did with Tone.

Tony. Tone. Tone. Oh, good. With the toes. Tone with the toes. Tone. Tony. Tone. Tone. With the toes. Tone with the toes. Tone. Yeah.

How could you not? Where was that? Flagstaff or something? I want to say it was Flagstaff. You knew him, obviously, or you wouldn't have done it. Probably. Well, I knew him.

You were on episode seven. He's actually done at least 40 episodes of that. A lot of them i think are with his sister good dude he's like a very nice dude where you go why did you think you should do a podcast did anyone ever tell you you'd be a good podcaster no but you decided to do it anyway he's a very sweet very nice guy okay so you went to Madagascar. What's that like? Did he say that?

Yes. Oh, Jesus. Just like, like, if you, you know, where kids do. Was this like the early days of podcasting, though? Like, did podcasts exist when he was doing that? No, it was his early days. It was like 1976. It just reminds me of that Saturday Night Light skip with Chris Farley. It was like, remember that time he was with Paul McCartney?

When you did that, that was cool. And Paul was like remember that time he's with paul mccartney when you did that that was cool and i was like yeah that was cool it was very similar yes it was very similar there was no question it was just statements and you don't know how to react and he it was flow real that's what he just had this catchphrase and i love it. I like to flow with people, and that's your flow. So in the background of the podcast, occasionally there was a building being torn down behind. And no one addressed it. This is an hour and 39-minute podcast.

I mean, it was loud. And no one addressed it. This is an hour and 39 minute podcast. I mean, it was loud. And occasionally, they're just jackhammers and stuff like right there. And you never mentioned it until about an hour and 11 or something. They're like, what is going on right there? I don't know. And then you just go back to ignoring this overpowering. 9-11 is happening right behind them. I'm so good at doing stuff like this and then never watching it or seeing it.

I remember Tony was from Santa Cruz, and he just wanted to talk about Santa Cruz the whole time, which was like a five-minute stint in a brief period of my young life. But isn't that where the West Cliff is? You were getting coffee? Yeah. Did I leave in a fit of rage? And then you went to the West Cliff is that you were getting coffee and... Yeah, did I like leave in a fit of rage? And then you went to the West Cliff and you were leaving and the... I don't know, I gotta listen to the podcast.

I'm very in the... I'm like a toddler. It's like very in the moment for me. Like it happens, it's everything and then I'm done and it's gone. I don't remember. You're the same, I'm sure. I'm the same. I love it. It's great to read.

She's got a 203 phone number. I love it. I'm so much. I was there. I saw it. Like, I don't need to rewatch it. So, like, I don't need to. Yeah.

Oh, podcasting. No, I mean, just everything. Like, if you're there, do you need to rewatch it? You were there. You said it. You saw it. Like I don't need to now re-listen and see. Chad, who I should have called to be here, is.

Did I do his podcast too? No, no, no. He's my usual co-host. But we're legendary for as soon as the podcast is over we have no idea what we said that's like the story of my life I just like I don't know

I don't really I don't know maybe it's good maybe it's bad I don't know I know I'm pretty happy kind of oblivious do you need to relive what you just did or should you just let it stand and that's the way I am when you're podcasting

the only problem it leads to is did I say this already last week do I talk about this every time when I can't differentiate between a social situation and the recorded part of it especially in this format where we can talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know when this. Out of my tone is this week or should I do it next? Right. Or do we just bring it? Is it a theme? We just bring it back. People love it. You even said that to me, Doug, that I was being redundant because I'd said that.

Like you don't know. Like you just talk and then sometimes you're like oh i know that was me busting your balls yeah but you're right i thought that was about the bisbee breakfast club with like the often imitated never copied no but i was trying to say freedom he's like you said that already okay okay yeah but i mean i think it's just all of us, we're talking and we don't really realize. And now you had an alcohol. Of course. I know. Oh, speak it up.

For 19 years. You had that bingo? Okay. I have to pee. Where's the bathroom? Speaking of alcohol. Through that door? Or wherever.

Anyway, wherever you want. Just going to go squat in the corner. There's a map. I'm sure we're just all so redundant. I'm taking a piss. No, you know, like, you're just going to make your point. I go through here. You don't realize you've already made your point,

and then you make it again, and people are like, oh, you already said that. That is a... Russ Dunn was a friend. He did local theater here back when, I don't know what happened to Ray fucking he died no no no Russell oh yeah Russell died

yeah Ray whatever Obscure Productions he was our best friend Bisbee Obscure Productions anyway he had a I forget my point now I know like we have so many drinks in that no one this is this would be a good that's right that was my point sorry he said when he had to play a drunk

he said people always do it where they slur no they really just talk louder and repeat themselves. Right. So. Yeah, that's true, I'm sure. But I just think that what you're doing is so fun and incredible. And yeah, when you add in the alcohol, people are going to repeat themselves. Yeah, yeah. Because they don't realize it. I already said that to you. Yeah, that's the problem is when you're used to dealing with comics, you have no filter on going yeah you already said that you

fucking moron because that's how comics talk to each other in a green room that's what i'm going to tell you go ahead that i feel like because danny did stand up not not well it was i don't know we know but the entire stand-up community very bad era yeah but i'm saying that when you say the same jokes and and you do it in print i'm like should you keep saying that like i i don't understand the philosophy in saying the same joke over and over and over that's why you move yeah that's why you don't yeah because it just looks stupid now that you've said this exact joke. Well, you say it in El Paso and then you say it in San Antonio and then you say it in Austin, Dallas. And you don't say it in one place over and over and over again.

I feel like when you're doing it in stand up, it's fine because you're in different cities. But I think when you say it in print, that's a distinction. Like you're seeing the same quote print print print yeah and now you look redundant right yeah and so that must be hard for you as a comic and all the comics like to say their joke that's why i refuse to do interviews unless i'm asked unless you're asked. So if we ask you to do it, yeah. But don't you think that's got to be hard? It's a very heavy-handed, ham-fisted approach to the media. You have to be so likely.

Unless you really want me to do it by asking. I feel like that must be so hard on you that you have these great jokes. And in print, like in a stand-up environment people are hearing it new but in print over and over like how do you do it with not you know looking redundant i think you just said that three times i know i just said it was fantastic every time. I know. Wasn't it great? Listen to me say redundant. It was redundant. It's so redundant. I'm so redundant.

I totally know that I am. So I, like, know that. No, you're fine. No, I am redundant. But I just, like, I marvel at what you do and how you do it and how you are brave enough to say whatever you think, knowing that this is going to have a backlash if I say this. What if we ran for mayor for real? I am. Against each other.

And the loser, because like a Michael Biehn bet, the loser is the winner. If one of us wins, you have to be mayor for two years. I won't. You know what? That is a great bet. I won't be sad.

You know, like I have tried and here's what I'm going to try to do. You say that now. No, I'm... You know what? All right, all right, all right. Oh, Bingo, I'm so like Teflon, like nothing bothers...

That's why I'm perfect because I don't give a fuck. Oh, God, I'm having great ideas now that, like nothing. That's why I'm perfect. Oh, God. I'm having great ideas now that I think we should wrap this goddamn podcast up. Hang on. Yes. Slowly. You. Doink.

I still have fresh squeeze. I would just like to say I'm running for mayor. No, no, no. We're not rushing this. Congratulations. 2024. He's like, you're redundant. We're really, like, re-hashed the 20 times.

Listen, we're going to do... God damn it. Stand down. I think I know what I'm doing, and then I do a two-factor... Wait, you're a mixologist yourself. I'm really good at getting the booze in the cup. Actually, you're a fucking...

Yeah, well... A little triple sec takes the bubbles down. Hey, girl, you know. Also, well, there's triple sec in there, and you're a fucking... A little triple sec takes the bubbles down. Hey, girl, you know. There's triple sec in there and you're a good runner. A little Kahlua in the coffee cup for breakfast. That's it. Suzanne knows. She knows.

You're not just a mixologist but also on the road, on our back fucking roads. Middle of nowhere. Gorgeous night't she can make a campfire craft cocktail a bomb ass cocktail wow tell me tell me tell me one of your favorites something you remember something that comes to mind where you go oh i put some nescafe in some fucking malibu rum that made me throw up as a kid but now i made it good with some instant coffee and a little i like where you're going with this i really i like this i like this

i like the nest cafe look you're oh look at suzanne just comes through in a pinch please share with us what was your alcoholic beverage of choice in Madagascar. None. Just daydreams. Nothing but fantasy. She is known on her fucking... In my little bubble. Yeah.

I'm known as the girl with the cocktails. It's great. So you always want to camp with me because I'm going to pull out my flask. So typically what I do is I'll pre-mix some cocktails. You know, it's like I make a lot of bourbon drinks because if they're a little warm, it's fine. So I'll do like a boulevardier, which is like bourbon or rye, your preference. Aperol or Campari for a little bit of bitters. Bermuda for the sweetness.

It's so freaking good. It's so good. And you just bust it out. If we had a camera on you, you'd be good. Are you taking notes? Yeah, Aperol. Go get the Aperol. Benny Hill style. You come over. on you you'd be good are you taking notes yeah go get the apparel betty hill style

yeah you pre-batch it then you show up i got a campfire going you roll in i'm like hey you want a cocktail and everybody loves it it's the best it's the best it's the way to do it because here's the thing like naked and afraid kind of sucks it's a pain in the ass it's really hard you're hungry whatever so when in like normal life you want to like have a kick-ass day where you ride your motorcycle you're in the middle of nowhere you do something awesome and you sit around the campfire and have cocktails and shoot the shit with your friends that's a good day uh yeah i read one of those articles and uh you you're talking about and then he read me some stories about the fucking moonlight

and I'm like, but she didn't mention cocktails at all. Like, oh God, what if she doesn't drink? That would suck so much. Is she going to read the stories? That'd be real awkward, wouldn't it? It's not awkward so much as it's just a disappointment.

But you probably get plenty of people because like not drinking is very trendy right now yeah it's like very it's kind of a thing it'll be busy in 20 years yeah maybe i know people have made transitions to the weed and i do the edibles but uh they're fucking yeah i like to do them together, and then I get so ridiculous that I'm happy I don't have company over. I've never seen you ridiculous. What does a ridiculous Doug Sandhope look like? If I do edibles and have cocktails and edibles, I am laughing the same as I was 16 years old behind Cook's Pond, laying on my back, laughing at fucking nothing.

And I go, like, if I had to pretend I was straight, the other night, if I had to pretend I was kind of sober, which I could pull off as a lifelong drunk, but not weed drunk, I would be like, and I might be the only one having a good time, but I'm the only one that's hanging around me at that point. So at that point, who would you want to hang around with?

Who do you, like when you're in that state, who are like, I got to be with this person? Almost was a difficult question, but the easy answer is someone who is also in that state you don't want to trip with oh yeah somebody who's like real square right then you have to be tripping too i don't care if you're my best friend i threw fucking dave raider out of here once oh i know it's like just a mild amount of mushrooms but I've really not tripped hard in years. But I guess I'd call it microdose, and I'm like, you've got to go. You are too serious. You don't get what you have to leave my house now. And we don't trip on the same thing.

No. I cannot touch any sort of THC. No weed for me ever. But mushrooms all the way. All the time. What does that do to you? The THC that makes you... I don't know. I don't even know what it is.

It's weed. That's weed. I don't know. You just lost Suzanne's vote. Let me be your... How about I'll be your spokesperson. What do you call it? The White House spokesperson. It's THC.

You tell me. You tell me what you want to say. She knows a little secret service thing. Yeah, Doug will be in my ear going in. That's okay. That's okay. I didn't know what that was. It's just fun.

I can't do fun. I'm down with OPP, and I wanted to just be the first to say that. And you say, yeah, you know me. Yes, yeah, you know me. There you go. Yeah, I'll do it. Well, I think that you two should be, I'm running now because I'm in it, and now I'm not going to draw out of it.

But I think you two should definitely be the mayor and first lady of Bisbee I don't know why you don't do it everyone loves you everyone loves you except for the people who hate us which is a lot

there is I don't feel like there's a lot of people that hate you. I'm a murderer and a rapist. Oh my god. That's true. I'm also a murderer, but I'm not a rapist. Wow.

Murder only. You gotta draw the line somewhere. That's true. I am known as a murderer. Okay, but why would they say that about you? Oh wait, we're still on the podcast. Yeah, but I want to ask you, why would they say that? Oh, wait, we're still on the podcast. Yeah, but I want to ask you, why would anyone say that? Yeah, we'll do that after the podcast. Oh, okay, okay.

Yeah, but like, why are you guys so Yeah, but nobody actually hates Nobody actually hates you guys. I don't hear it. But people love bitching in this town. They love bitching. God, they love bitching. They got nothing better to do.

They've been bitching since 1967. It's my job. It's my job. That's my job description. I complain about things. I learned this word because a critic in the UK called me a miserablest which I'd never heard the word and it's someone who can only enjoy themselves

when they're miserable that's awesome three and a half decades of fucking comedy I feel like that's you no that's what comedy is it's fucking complaining about things I feel like that's you I think he nails you right there.

I agree. I was like, that is the best description. Yeah. All right, bingo. Take us out of this. We're fucking devolving into mimosa mayhem here. Ooh. Take it on the table. Ava Rupert, R-U-P-E-R-T, just the one P.

I was going to eat this worm out of my hand right now. Yeah, baby. And you do all sorts of stuff now. Go to her website and just see what she's done, what she writes, where she's going. And she's not done with the survivalist thing, the naked thing. Well, we heard, you know, born 1980. At some point, people are going to tell you to stop doing the naked part the mayor of bisbee i think i think it's a a a steam train freight train freight roller you can't be stopped you're

obviously going to be i'm gonna win i. I'm going to win. I'm just going to win. Even though the incumbent, who nobody has any issues with, who's not divisive whatsoever, if you can divide this community... I'm going to divide it. I'm fucking taking a hammer and a sledgehammer... Build that wall! Build that wall! And Warren's going to pay for it.

No, we're going to build the wall between Warren and all Bisbee. Warren's paying for it. Warren's definitely going to pay for it? No, we're going to build the wall between Warren and old Bisbee. Warren's paying for it. Warren's definitely going to pay for it. I'm going to charge all of Bisbee for it. Not if she's the mayor. No. What? You're in charge of what?

I said I'm going to charge all of Bisbee for the wall that's coming up. Yes, old Bisbee. Warren and old Bisbee. We're the new Bisbee. Let's fucking change it. We're the new Bisbee. Okay, here's something to look into. There is something on the book

somewhere that Warren can't have a bar. So fucking run on that to start. Do you even have bullet points of what you're going to run on? No fucking no. You're supposed to. I think you have like two days before you have to have your fucking

paperwork. April 1st. I have a list that I have written out. Two days before you have to have your fucking paperwork. No, April 1st. You know what? You want to end this. April 1st, but April Fool's Day. I have a list that I have written up. All right, we'll get to that. Right. Not now, though.

It's not the time. But in the meantime, if you're going to plug one thing, your Airbnb, we almost bought one of the houses, and we've stayed at one of the other houses, and the place to stay. In fact, our crew, when we were doing that thing, stayed at one of your... Yeah, what happened to that? So the Greenway house. Just give them a fucking plug. Okay, Greenway Manor is my house.

On Airbnb? Yeah, Airbnb, booking, Expedia. Do you have GretchenBonaduce.com that can get them there? No. Never thought of that. No, I have thought of it. I just don't know how to do it. No. I'm buying it. I own I have thought of it. I just don't know how to do it. No.

I'm buying it. I own Sterling Noreen, my boyfriend. I own SterlingNoreen.com. Yeah. No, I'm too busy. Do you have DougSanhoff.com? I'm far too busy to think of these things. But I have Greenway Manor, Hossan Adele Avion, Boho Hip Bisbee Bungalow, and Lower East Side New York. Bisbee Bungalow and Lower East Side New York Bisbee Bungalow.

My restaurant, which you didn't mention, which is in the top ten in the world. Cornucopia. I did mention it. It's so good. Cornucopia Cafe. 16 ounce mimosas. Yeah, we have big ones. 16 ounce mimosas. Big mimosas.

Well, I've had four. Four ounce mimosas. so it's the same goddamn thing except mine spill and suzanne was who's known for uh why is that jacuzzi bubbling when it's turned off and you know what i love about her the best when you're at a bar and you just go oh my shoulder hurts all of a sudden. Boom, boom, there's needles in your back. Oh, no. My favorite is six in the morning.

That's the locals that hate you throwing darts at you. My favorite is getting into the hot tub at six in the morning and Doug and Ichabod, his dog, walking by. And I'm getting in there and I turn around and he's just standing there looking at me and laughing. And I'm like oh my god. What do you mean you're like oh my god? Anyone walking down the street can look at you. They don't see you.

You're like that. I'm goofing on you. I know. I thought that was hysterical. I cracked up so hard. You obviously clear trees so fucking pedestrians can look at you getting into a hot tub. I'm appealing to Eva. I love it. I love it.

Naked and not afraid. We're taking it back. Oh, you should see that. It's hot in 2024. You'd be afraid of that hot tub. If there was a true history. That's the tub? Exactly.

Oh. Tears from the tub. Take us out so we can talk. Can I do a little plug? Let me take off. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go give a plug because I get to piss again. Because this is a corporate.

Talk to the camera. Be cool. But tripping, but not on ecstasy, falling, and sober, try Physical Therapy and Balance Center for all your vestibular needs. Say it to the camera. Wait, hold on. Are you the sponsor? Yeah. Are you the sponsor of this podcast. Say it to the camera. Wait, hold on. Are you the sponsor? Yeah.

Are you the sponsor of this podcast? Say it one more time. Just say the name of the business. Physical, F-Y-Z-I-C-A-O. Physical Therapy and Balance Center for all your vestibular needs and pelvic floor in the future. Ah! Yeah, I got to learn it first.

May your pelvic floor be strong and your coffee stronger. If you're my friend that's a pilot that's watching, we get to sit next to that pilot. Cheers. Next was in the first class. And we didn't talk about the hot.

Yes, we did. I took care of your super fans. That's the one. Now he's the actual top three, big three pilot. The guy that flew over our Super Bowl party, he was just getting his miles in on a plane. Yeah. So on the way out, he put Stan Hope under the wings

and buzzed our house the day after party. That was when I filmed my special. No Place I Come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had like five of them stay at my house and he was one. And he was laying in my bed with the Mishka Shubali album and I had him listen to Mishka Shubali all night. Wow, that's huge. Yeah, actually I like Mishka's music. But no, he's a pilot for a big three now. And he sat next to us in first class accidentally. And then we smuggled him into the Delta Sky Club, even though he flies for one of the other two.

And we just, yeah. I love that story. And he got his hours in right here in Cochise County. Well, flying some guy, he knew that he's got a plane and he lets me fly it down to Bisbee and I'm a fan, so we had him over. Oh, I love that. We actually flew the next day,

all hung over in the plane. There you go, take us out. I get a piss and we'll talk about all the things we can't talk about. It's impossible. Alex, you ready? Okay. Go.

Bye-bye now. That was the most fun I've had in a while. Wasn't that fun? I'm like, I'm just going to sit on your porch every weekend and be like, can I do that? I don't know if they guess. I'm like, what do you do? This is great. We always just sit here.

This is so fun. I love this. And I love Warren, too, because the sun is down in Old Bisbee right now. It's almost 5 o'clock.