The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #548 - "POT PARTY w/ ANDY ANDRIST & CHAD SHANK"

Episode Date: April 14, 2024

Is it even possible for Andy Andrist and Chad Shank to get TOO high? Doug investigates with the help of some fancy glassware sent over from TheFreezePipe.com. Doug also partakes. Support the show and visit https://www.dietsmoke.com/FREE to try Diet Smoke gummies. Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing support. Not a member? Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast  Recorded April 3rd, 2023 at the Funhouse in Bisbee, AZ Signed copies of "No Encore fot the Donkey" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/  We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey, you're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. Hey, before before we get into this, we will be smoking marijuana on this podcast, which I don't do normally. So if for any reason, you know, if you have kids in the room. Yeah, there'll be some sensitive... Was I supposed to bring real pot? I thought we were doing movie pot for this. Yeah, this is like

Alex Baldwin's gun. The thing is, we're in a state where it's legal to smoke pot. I just don't, and I'm usually really ridiculous the times I have, so that should be fun. But for you who live in backwoods states,

which we used to say like Alabama and West Virginia would be backwoods, now I consider any state that doesn't have legalized weed to be a fucking backwoods, fucking hillbilly, Florida. And the reason I bring this up up because we do have a new sponsor and it's great for you people who live in backwater fucking trash states that don't have legalized weed it's called Diet Smoke

it's an edible but it's federally legal it comes in the mail directly to your door when I got the package I'm like wait this says it's a THC product but it came from Florida and then I talked to Chaley he goes says it's a THC product, but it came from Florida. And then I talked to Jaylee. He goes, yeah, that's a new sponsor.

And we tried it. I took a 10 milligram, just like I do with regular edibles. You took two 20s, I think. Alex took, yeah, and it was fucking fantastic. I ate one the last time when I drank that full bottle of whiskey. And then I fell asleep in my van and woke up eight hours later fully rested. Oh, that's right, because I saw you on security camera down in front of jail. Like, he's still there.

You always leave, like, you know, 3.30 in the morning. Yeah, I was there until, like, 8 almost. Yeah, the sun was well up. Just still asleep. Yeah, like, he's going to be sweating his balls off. Hibernation gum. The sun is. So, yeah, so so diet smoke you can order they have caffeine infused

for staying awake they have melatonin which I think is bullshit as a product in itself but for sleeping melatonin doesn't fucking make me sleep ever but mixed with diet smoke

you probably have a nice fucking nap they even have 24-7 sommeliers to help you with your high, and I wish they put the fucking number in my ad copy so we could prank call them during this podcast. Hey, I'm too high. What do I do? It was real pot. If I add diet smoke to real pot, I love the fact that people are doing these things

where they're finding loopholes. Okay, we're just going to change one little tiny molecule and now you can't fuck with us. You know what? Stock up on diet smoke because they'll probably make that illegal before they fucking legalize it altogether. So here, here's the pitch.

Diet smoke is so confident in their gummies that they are willing to let you try it for free. That's right, free. All you do is you go to dietsmoke.com slash free. You pay $2.99 for shipping, and you get a free pack. It will arrive at your door in just a couple of days. Don't settle for less.

Don't settle for less. Join the Diet Smoke community. Are we part of a community now? And discover the buzz for less. Don't settle for less. Join the Diet Smoke community. Are we part of a community now? And discover the buzz for you. Visit dietsmoke.com slash free today to get your free gummies and enjoy your journey to cannabis bliss. That's a pretty good read, I think. How about you, Diet Smoke?

What do you say about that read? I'm going to so fuck with your sommelier. That's like, you could call me like, I'm jerking off right now. What do you recommend for jerking off? What do you have? Do you have a kind with liquid heat in it? I don't want to date rape this girl, but I want her to be a little sleepy.

What do you recommend? I dosed my wife so she would shut up, and now she doesn't seem to be breathing. Come on in. Oh, yeah. Kenny doesn't have a... Here's the thing.

Since I'm not a pot smoker, Kenny had some troubles recently, but he walked on the things. Has anyone patted him down for a while? Isn't it kind of funny that he, oh, I had a little problem, and they confiscated some of my belongings, but now I just come over and... Nothing. Yeah.

What if he fakes this out? Yeah, he did kind of... What if he calls the fuzz on us for having this pot party? He shows up out of nowhere. He knows I'm here. Yeah, finally. I try to hug him and he goes, I'm not a hugger. But last time we hugged it out.

Last time it led to BJ. Yeah. Alright, so this is... I don't even think this is an official sponsor. They just sent us the stuff, and they sent us a lot of stuff. Now, you might know Chad and Andy from the Issues with Andy podcast. They're my guests today. Yeah.

That was funny. And they've had the freeze pipe on their podcast, and they sent me a ton of shit there's six boxes of shit here so I'm going to let you explain I got a phone call from Doug who's frantic he's like I got all these neat things from freeze pipe but I don't smoke pot I don't know what to do with them

and he said well if you fly me first class I'll come down and show you pop me in the Delta first class. Well, you know, before that, he was on the phone with me and told me, look, we got this thing, we have this pot. And I said, I need Andy Andrus for this. I can't be smoking all this pot by myself.

And he said, I'll call you right back. Yeah, I don't know, you know, there's a lot of aliens coming into this community. I couldn't take a chance that Doug would have illegals working on this gig. Pot scabs. Yeah. Come over here to steal my job. And the beauty of this, the timing of this, is that the uphill Kim and Dave, our neighbors up the hill, they live in Alaska half the year. So they're about to go back for the summer,

and they're clearing out their freezer. So they have all sorts of mostly pork stuff that they're cooking up. So as soon as we're fucked up and high here, we can get one of them to drive us up the hill because that's only 100 yards tops, but that's up a massive hill. You saw my attempt at taking a shortcut

on that scooter. I didn't think about the fucking brakes on that thing until I got up here and then I was going too fast. Andy rode his scooter back from... Did you hurt yourself? No, I used to fall on my shit. Where's he going? Then I saw him take a loop at that street at Oats and he comes back and then he just dives off it

because he couldn't figure out how to stop it. At what point from Derek's house did you realize I have no idea how to stop? I didn't think about it. It was all level. It was all level and then I went up the hill a little. It's just like right in front of you. It was all level, and then I got up that, you know, I went up the hill a little bit, and then I was like, oh, I'm going a little bit too fast,

and then taking a corner was rough, and then it was like, oh, fuck, I'm going to fucking smash into the sign, so I bailed. I could have hit the brake with that. Yeah, that would have been good. How fast does this scooter go? It seems like usually scooters, you can just hop off and stop them too.

He did. He did, well, he just, he hopped off and just he didn't care about the scooter. Well, yeah, that's what I... It was like a... I guess if Kenny doesn't care enough to tell him where the brakes are. Well, I mean, I figured a human could figure out

where they go. I did the same thing. A friend let me ride his motorcycle. Same thing. He had a long driveway and on the other side is a busy road, and then on that was a ditch. And I didn't know where the brake was.

And then as I get to the end of the driveway, I go, oh, shit. And I went across, no cars were coming, and dumped it into the ditch. And I don't think I've ridden a motorcycle since. I like your willing attitude. I don't know how to do this, but sure, I'll drive it. Yeah, I didn't think of it. I'm going to start this before this cools off. I don't know how to do this, but sure, I'll drive it. Yeah, I didn't think of... I'm going to start this before this cools off. I want to explain to...

Okay, so because what it is, is this is filled with a gelatin around here, like a gel that doesn't freeze solid. It's like if you get a sprained ankle or something, those things you put on. So that, you freeze up, and it cools your smoke. I think they said like 300 times before it passed

one of the reasons yeah one of the reasons I always hated smoking pot was A the coughing

I would get coughing fits and the burning lungs it ruined the taste of cigarettes but I don't smoke anymore so that doesn't matter

but yeah the fucking the just suck to inhale is fucking brutal cigarettes but I don't smoke anymore so that doesn't matter. But yeah, the fucking, the just suck to inhale is fucking brutal. Well, wait, wait. Here's what I've learned on this, Andy. On this one,

the carb will not clear it all the way out. You have to pull the bowl. Yeah, no, when Doug smokes, it'll be a green on top. You can't. I figured you didn't want to smoke right away, did you? I mean, you said when you act peculiar, I was going to correct you.

You just go in and go to bed when I've seen you have pot. Oh, I get fucking really stupid. I have a blast at everyone else's expense. Yeah, because I always cough after a solid hit with a freeze pot. That was a huge hit. I took a small one to start here. I don't know the sizes. Size clean. I still feel like I'm gonna cough. I just, I don't know. You heard me wheezing on smoking. You heard me wheezing on smoking the. Now, what I would recommend for you. What I would recommend for you would be a bubbler.

All right. But I think Doug should hit off the biggie. Like a bomb? Like the big bomb? Yeah. Let's get him on the big one. Well, I mean, technically, that's a bubbly. I got a ladder over here if you want to keep going. But the big, the one.

Work out to the bottom. Is that? Okay, yeah, we'll work out. Hey, don't. We turned some. Actually, now I. The chorus is fucking up sweating in here all of a sudden after taking these giant hits. And maybe the Mexicans will work under these conditions, but me and Chad need a fan.

Yeah, yeah. We're from a high-rated podcast. You guys have heard of us. Yeah, hit the AC. It's in Celsius, so you can figure it out. Maybe we load these next ones a little smaller so we're not smoking a ounce of weed. Okay, these are questions I have.

Yeah. Because you guys smoke all the time, but how much... Because I could Yeah. Because you guys smoke all the time. But how much... Because I could never drink like you guys smoke. I just... I'd say that you drink like we smoke. That's what I was going to say. It's identical.

But you guys smoke all day. Yeah, but you can't... There's no... You don't have a hangover. You know, like alcohol, you've got to run. You don't even say wake and bake anymore. You just... That's your day. It's just how you start.

My brother, my brother says he he's getting right. That's what he calls it. Just getting right. And so I, yeah. Can you guys get too high? Yes. Yeah. I have been too high, not from smoking weed, but from shatter.

The first time I smoked what they call dabs. I did. Usually I'll do two or three big bomb hits and I'm good. Well, I did two big rips of this shatter. And you know that 911 call where the cop calls 911? I felt like that. I was sitting there like, I'm too high. I'm too high.

I've never been that high before. I'm doing this because even edibles, I feel like I'm tripping. When I first tripped, I knew going in, okay, if I see weird shit, it's part of the movie. Just relax. Don't panic. I knew that. So, like, when you get too high, because what happens? Because when you get too drunk, okay,

maybe you puke, maybe you have the bed spins. You say the wrong thing. You call people. You make promises. Write a lot of things. Sign contracts. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I'm trying to think about it. The only time, that was the only time, and I knew right away, of course, from smoking all the time, that you just wait a little bit, and then you won't be so hot, and then I fell asleep later. You fall down? Stability? Is it being drunk?

I don't know. I didn't get off the couch. I think you just get a little slightly dumber, maybe. All I know is the cliches. Well, speaking of dumber, who put this together? That was me.

So, yeah. So where are the pieces that actually go together? Because none of this goes together in this fashion. Here's the deal. Freeze pipe comes with directions, and they also have one of these things where you can go,

hey, I don't know how to do this thing, and it'll explain it. I don't like reading directions. I think assholes write, well, not these guys, but other people write directions to fuck with people. Let me do this in case they want to put a smash cut, and the next thing people see is you having that in the proper condition. Well, I can... How did you think it

worked? That's not good. So this is the water bubbler. Is there any water? We have to put water in it. So this comes out. Oh.

This goes in. Whoa. Yeah. That. It's a transformer. It's trans-friendly. It can be whatever you want it to be. So yes, this is what I was referring to.

Okay. Fucking Andy smoked so much in the house. Like, I was always, even when I smoked cigarettes and I wouldn't, you know, smoke cigarettes in the house, I always said, yo, weed is cool. Until lately,

I don't know who was the first person where in the last couple months where someone was smoking pot to the, like, just, maybe it was last time you were here. Sounds like me. Where I'm like, or maybe it was, like, Keith Ray or someone where, like, this whole fucking place, it was like...

Probably Keith Ray. No, I think I smoked a joint in here and regretted it immediately. I remember doing that. No, it was like, what's the fucking Sean Penn getting out of the car? Spicoli. Yeah, Spicoli.

It was that thick of smoke. I'm like, you guys fucking, you guys gotta go outside. I'm sorry, but this is not a, okay, so here we go. This is what I was recommending for you because not only does this cool the smoke. Yeah, get him started on that one. Well, isn't that an interesting device? That is fun.

That's what I wanted to do initially was just have us dress up like in 1950s short-sleeved shirts and clip-on ties and do it like a male version of a Tupperware party. So when the pot hits me, how am I gonna react? Am I gonna see colors? Are those the pots right there? Is that the pots in the jar?

Oh, aren't they cute? They just grow decent homes. And you just pop that? How many pots will that kill? So yeah, that looks a lot more functional. Now heavy equipment. Can I operate heavy equipment while I'm doing this? No, he says no.

Well, that was a bum. If you're using a, uh oh. Yeah, come on in. Can you take a little off of this for me? This could only be one. Come on in, things. I'm a little high. Just a little off.

Hey, Bingaman. Bingum-bong, chakum-bong. We're on a podcast and I'm gonna smoke some of the pot. You should see this interesting device. You're just in time. Maybe it'll enhance our lovemaking. Lovemaking? Whoa!

There's a chair over there for you. Hello? How's it going, baby? There's a chair over there. There's a chair over there. You can move it around. Do you want a drink or no? I get a glass of wine. There's a chair over there. You can move around. You want a drink or no? I get a glass of wine.

It's my first. All right. Well, here we go. Okay. So I guess I should give you a demonstration. Yeah. I think, yeah. Yeah.

So. Should I be wearing a helmet? Of course. You should wear the protective. Safety equipment. Make sure the glasses are in front of you. It is a glass thing. Does it have a clip that comes in the box, Andy?

You know, 9-11, a lot of people were killed by glass shrapnel. The box around the front, actually. There's a glass piece. Okay, all right. There's a good tasting gummy in there, if you'd like. Yup, there's the clip. Well, this guy's an old school professional.

This will keep it from falling apart. You gotta push the button on the thing. It's a gummy. Take the big side. Okay. Over the big side. Clip. Oh, fuck, man.

Now it's all one piece. I thought that was, I thought there must be a reason for that, but I can't. That wasn't on your dick earlier, was it? No. I thought it was a little tiny concrete. No. But that's what I thought. It was just packaging, and I threw it away at home.

So I've been using it without that. So you're going to just go ahead and hit here. When you're done hitting, you lift this. That's what the little handle's for. Okay, and do we have some matches? Let me show you. There's a thing that I've never used before, but I bet you there might be one in one of these.

It's... Oh, by the way, have you seen Dave Tell's new special? I guess no one has. I haven't yet. I'm going to watch it tonight. Well, that kind of gives away what's going to happen at the end. It's not a freeze pipe.

Okay, so what do I do? You put fire on that green stuff. And then do I have to hit it? Just suck on that You put fire on that green stuff. And then do I have to hit it? Just suck on that and put fire. And then when you're done, lift this handle and suck. Well. Oh, that stinks.

Well. Well. One more hit there. You finished out the day. Well, finish what you started. So much for this product. That's what we used to do when we were in high school. Nobody else can get that, so you clear it.

I've got to clear that goddamn thing. What do you mean? What do you mean you take this out? Well, I suck on it. And then you hit it real hard. There. You don't leave garbage in somebody else's yad. That had to be stale as fuck by the time I cleared that, too.

What in fucking God's name is this? Imagine how harsh that would have hit him if it wasn't through a freeze pipe. It might have killed the poor guy. I blame climate change. That must have gotten fucking unfrozen. It's global warming. This is supposed to help not choke.

Now get a notebook and a pen and get ready to write a new act. Well, that's the first pipe out of the way. Yeah. We're working our way to the bong. They get increasingly longer. Remember when I said this is not an official sponsor? Well, I hope this is a really good advertisement for them

so they send us some money and pick us up. Ooh, buddy. If you're like me, you like to party while you're driving, and this is a nice little unit. It's snug under a seat of a car. Cops can search it. I get the munchies, and thank God I'm coughing up parts of my lung to chew on. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose.

Breathe through your nose. It's running too much. Oh, my God. High Times magazine's probably feeling a little ashamed of themselves about now. Oh, my God. Weed is so awful. The pipe screen.

Oh, it tastes bad. I think it's like when you take a sip of soda and it goes down the wrong hole. That's what happened. You just took that in the, cause it should, you took it wrong. And remember I said when you're done, then you lift this out and then you didn't lift that out.

So your second hit is really stale. Yeah, I get scared, I'll tell you that. Yeah, yeah. I thought I had to hit that button and then pull it out and light it. That's why a lot of those horses in the gate will kick at the gate and not really to run.

This is why I quit smoking. Alex was there and Mimsy was there where I was on stage in Australia and I was coughing this hard just from my fucking lungs being ugly. Like the whole show, someone's bringing me up in a asthma inhaler.

That's why I quit smoking cigarettes and this is why I quit smoking pot. Thanks, Reese Pipe. Well, don't quit. We're only in the first quarter. Oh my God. You know, we gotta get... All right, let's play a commercial. I gotta throw my shit in the first quarter. Oh my God. You know, we got to get... All right,

let's play a commercial. I got to throw my shit in the dryer. And we're back. I'm going to go ahead and assemble some of these up so you don't get too intimidated. You can look at them

for a little while first. Here's a nice come down. This is from Freeze Pipe. It's just a little vape unit. It tucks into your pocket nicely and delivers a smooth freeze quality hit. He definitely did it wrong. Freeze Pipe quality hit. Oh, yeah.

That's going to be a nice one. Have you done... That's... Whoa. I had that shit all together, all completely fucking wrong. Yeah, you had it together like it was Optimus Prime. It's not easy... I mean, it's easy to put things together,

but nothing's easy for me to put together, and I don't even like trying. So I'm out of the- I mean, you're a pothead, didn't you ever build bongs? Well, I don't like reading directions, man. And so this thing just was a fucking mystery. Everything else I kind of figured out,

but it's like, what the fuck is that? It seems like it should have something to do with it, because it's got a nice tuck away spot in the packing. You said, you asked if we build bong. We had potatoes, apples, and shit like that, not glass tubes. Yeah, but you had to figure out the mechanics of it to build it. This is just all done for you. These are fucking gorgeous. This is called a tornado bong. I've not seen this one. Fill with water until the bottom down stem is fully submerged. Maintain a half an inch above it for optimal function.

Sounds reasonable to me. Freeze time. And I think they're interchangeable, too. So, like, that one is already cold that we could put it in there. But, I mean, they work without it being cold. Well, that didn't help his lungs. He's playing banged up. His lungs are scarred. Anyway, you can just inject it.

This is like me on the third offer. I think you'll find if, I just think he took too deep of a draw for a freeze. He can't light a cigarette. Yes. Oh, God, that would be fun right now, smoking cigarettes. Well, we got to. Yeah, you didn't like it with a cigarette. You got to use.

Good. Bingo, would you like to try that one? No. See? I'm on mushrooms, I don't eat hot. You were smoking last night though, right? No, that was- Wow. Look at that base. I got that base right here.

My God. Here comes the spinny thing with that base. Oh, we get a spinny thing? Yeah, I think you'll find this a much easier experience. All right. Yes, sir. Much easier.

I always find the bongs hit a lot softer. It takes a long to get that thing on. I'm high enough that I'm randomly forgetting that I'm on a podcast. I can't just be sitting here thinking about Burger King. See, it's working. Nobody eats at that fucking Burger King. This is fucking amazing to look at.

Yeah. But that's all I'm doing is staring now. Does everybody get the lazy Susan that comes with it? That's pretty amazing. I said, we can't just, like, just me being high is not a fucking podcast. So at the last second, I ran down to the thrift store. And if you want to just clear out a little space, I thought we'd do something interactive. And I saw what they had at the thrift store. If you want to just clear out a little space, I thought we'd do something interactive

and I saw what they had at the thrifty and I found Girls' Night In. I thought he was just rambling and he's actually doing a pitch. Let's do it! But instead, if this one sucks, I get us a board game. What would Jesus

do the board game? I kick game. What would Jesus do the board game? I kick ass at what would Jesus do. How many players is that? Let's figure out how this little lady works. All the directions are in Palestine. Palestinian. Dang it. Have you seen this one, Chad?

You've seen this one. No, I like that one. It's like a Hunter Thompson, a weed. Well, that's what he thinks. Joints are my preferred method of smoking if I have the smoke for it. Look at that. That's a freeze, you freeze out and then you look at it.

It's like got little handles so you can pass it back and forth. Hey, we're gonna pause with this insert, and then we'll be right back after I learn how to play What Would Jesus Do? High as Fuck. Wait, is Jesus high as fuck? We'll tell you after these messages.

Okay, that was your out. What Would Jesus Do? Yeah, Jesus would probably just start fucking beating cards. Yeah, no, he would throw a... Learning to play is going to be the fun part. Jesus would throw a line in the water, and then he'd just start fucking bossing people around. All right.

Here's some chips if we need them. All right, let's just fucking make up our own game. As a Christian... Okay. As a Christian. Okay. As we're Christians. Yeah. Let's. I'll do it.

All right. Andy, as a Christian, is it ever acceptable to go on strike and withhold your services for higher pay or better working conditions? Amen. Why or why not? I wouldn't do it because it would disservice the Lord.

If the Lord wants you to have better pay, the Lord will give you better pay. Yeah. But also, though, I would want to make more money. I would go for it, and if I got fired or something, I would just say, Lord, I was just doing it because I was trying to make it better for both of us. Well, how does it affect your tithe, bitch? Fucking if I get more money, you get more money. 10% and fucking 10% is shit is shit.

So are we striking or are we not, cunt? I think we're supposed to be Christians. Yeah, okay, well. We're supposed to say bitch and cunt. No, they... Well, let's see if they say it, because that was just my opinion. It says, given the discrimination

that minorities have and continue to have, how would you... Oh, wait, these... That's not the answer. They don't even give you the answer. I think there is no answer. What the fuck? I think you have to pray for the answer.

Oh, my God. Okay. Start praying. Here to pray for the answer. Oh my god. Okay. Here we go. Here, these seem like this is a better one. Ask Chad that one. Community. An unattractive, unpopular girl has been elected prom queen. Ew.

You discover that other kids have voted for her as a joke and planned a humiliator at the big night? A. Tell the girl so that she won't be embarrassed if something happens. B. Say nothing and hope the evening goes smoothly. Or C. Talk about the school principal and let him

take care of it. Secret answer. D. Finger her. That's my trash tank. Why is it... It seems like there's a very obvious choice missing.

Let me stay in the box. Oh, fuck. Here, make him read something. I'm too high to read. Oh, this is gonna be dumb. Here we go. This is the fucking... All right, and he's whipping out the money over there.

They're Jesus bitcoins. All right, so... Please take of my body for I am cash. So he just... Start playing with the youngest player. Alright, so... Please take off my body for I am Cash. So he just... So that's the person who goes first. You and your best friends have made plans to go to an amusement park on the same day as your little brother's birthday. He is crushed that you won't be spending time with him. What do you do?

A. Can cancel your plans, stay home and sing happy birthday. B, explain that you are unaware of the conflict and promise to do something special with him the next day. C, take your little brother with you as a birthday present. Kill him and put him in the shed. I imagine that is an answer to a lot of these even on the back I didn't see that

there you go you get three shekels you need five shekels to buy your way out of getting put on the cross you think if Christ had more pocket change like Christ walked around with more currency he could have bought his way out of that problem. You mean like if he

had like 61 pieces of silver, he could have been like, hey, you know, I'll give you more than they're giving you. How much you'll walk away from this? That's great. It burns, it seems like it's burning longer too through that.

Well, it gives you like a, oh shit. What do I, do I roll it? I guess so. What? Hey. Wait, how many other things do you do with dice? Yeah, but I do it now. I don't want to get in fucking trouble.

You roll the die and then you put it to the space and then you do the card. All right, well are we all on start? If you miss the answer to the question, it's you lose the show. One. I'm yellow. Yellow, yellow, kiss a fellow. Pass these all out.

Lose a token? Wait, we're playing for real? Fuck this. I'm gonna have to get way higher. Yeah, no, let's get this lower bong going. Bigger bong. That one. An even amount of chips.

We're not doing even. Jesus wouldn't even, Stephen. He would short some people and he would give others more. That's how it works. Ah, jeez. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Yeah. That's my phone.

Who's our special guest? Pop it in. Oh, fuck! Wow. Hey, bonus. You can also shoot your friends. Hey, I'm high in a podcast. I'll have to call you later.

That was... That's what... Oh, yeah. That was crazy. Was that part of the pipe in the game? The pipe? That was part of the game? I totally forgot the water aspect of this.

So there's response cards over there somewhere. Call and response cards. Amen. You got it, brother. Amen. You said it. You passed these out. They're call and response cards, brother.

Come on. Bless you, brother. You got nothing? It's call and response., brother. Come on. Bless you, brother. You got nothing? It's call and response. God be with you. Fuck you, man. You're not going to give me a God bless you back? You fucking son of a bitch.

Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Get the fuck out. Hey, can you give me some paper towels over there, fucking church director? You're a fucking typical youth minister type. You just want to... Give him some paper towels.

Yeah, you're wearing a... That guy's a fucking Cuba Gooding. He's a fucking pedophile. Oh, jeez. Why? Dang it. Whose cards are whose? Those are your response cards.

So when they read the question out of one of those cards... I'm giving you these cards because I looked at those cards. There's extras, yeah, that you're supposed to look at. Oh. All the same thing. Yeah. Well, I just hand it out forward to you. Bringing in the sheaves.

Do you know any gospel? Bringing in the sheaves. Come on. Off just a little bit. We shall go rejoicing. Yeah. That's the fucking cough I quit smoking cigarettes 15 months ago because of it. It came back in fucking two

fucking inhales of your fucking dirt herb. This bong will fix it. The next one will fix that. That's one of the reasons I smoke it first thing in the morning. See, it's listed in the U.S. Pharm pharmacopoeia of medicine as an expectorant so what i like to do is first thing in the morning smoke it until i'm just throwing up all that toxins and you weren't even expecting it yeah and then uh my favorite how do you say that? Ex-per-ent? Ex-pector-ent.

Ex-pector-ent. I can never pronounce it, but my favorite one got taken off the market. It was triaminic. Oh, triaminic. That was cough syrup. I think there must have been some sort of a high to it. The fact that you say you have a favorite one probably. It was very Jagermeister-y.

Yeah, yeah. I do remember that now that you say that. I was very Jagermeister-y. Yeah. I do remember that now that you say that. I was real bummed. I was like, you know. I'm afraid to put this fucking thing together. It almost killed Derek. What is it? Well, that would solve the feds a lot of problems. For Derek?

Oh, Derek. No. Kenny's in trouble with the feds. Derek's just a witness of a local crime, a local shootout. And a victim. And a victim. They stole his gun. They stole his gun.

Well, and they put a hole in it. We have a GoFundMe going right now. It should be on the bottom of the screen for, yeah. I didn't get that he was a victim because I heard the story, but I didn't get he was a victim. And then I go, how are you a victim? And he said they shot a hole in his carpet. And what else?

So that's how you get to be a victim now. It's that easy. You don't have to be raped, or you don't have to be beaten by a cop or anything. You just get a fucking hole in your rug. I read a graphic account of it that was so realistic that I feel like I need therapy. State-funded therapy.

Every time he lays down for a nap on that couch, he has PTSD. You have to smoke a lot of weed just to deal with the anxiety, isn't that right? I'm pretty high. I'm not sure how to hold this. I don't know if that pork is going to come soon enough. Did we give up on this game?

No, you haven't. Somebody roll the dice. No, man. I mean, that's a good church. You just kind of hang, man. So you choose the direction. If you roll six three times in a row, we'll all go to hell. Come on, sixes. One, two six three times in a row, we'll all go to hell. All right. Come on, sixes.

One, two, three, four, five, six. Family, community. Oh, family. So now he picks up a card and reads it, and then... He does? No, I can't. You do, I think. All right. And then all the other players pick an answer

out of their response cards. You've been married for four years. Your spouse depart... This is for me. Hang on. Your spouse depart... This was for me. Your spouse desperately departedly... Your spouse desperately wants a child.

You can't get it up. No. You do not. Your marriage... Your marriage is under a great deal of stress because of this. You A, compromise and agree to have a child as long as your spouse is willing to accept more of the responsibility than you,

stick to your guns even though it means the end of your marriage, or agree to get pregnant thinking that you may feel differently after the baby is born. This is what Jesus would do. Yeah, what would Jesus do? Jesus would... Your answer is you guys. I remember...

So Jesus... I think Jesus would get her pregnant and then... Like he would hook him up. Like he did Joseph. I got you, bro. Get her pregnant and then torment her.

Torment her and then convince her to get an abortion and then make her feel guilty about it so she kills herself. Or no, I'm thinking. Is that you or Jesus? No, I'm thinking. I think not Jesus. I'm thinking that Kennedy that's running for president. That's a different thing.

Is it Ted? What's the? Oh, That's a different thing. Is it Ted? What's the... Oh, Robert. Yeah, Robert Kennedy. He talked... He had a notebook. I thought he was making a joke about the one that drowned the girl in Nantucket,

Ted Kennedy. And I was like, is he doing... He said running for president. I thought... Yeah, that's a Trump moment. Obama's the president right now. I seriously can't. Okay, but when we get to that one,

you'll have to symbolically do it to whore for the company. Andy, how would you hold this? Let me try. I don't know that I can hold it. I can figure out how to hold it comfortably. I'm about to need a- I feel like I'm gonna burn my knuckles like that.

I'm gonna need a straw for my wine. I'm that kind of high, yeah. You want? No, no, no, no. I think it's just you gotta curve your body to it like a bar. Oh, it's a stand-upper. Jesus, I loaded a bit, Andy.

Don't try to clear it. Oh, yeah. You see that bottom layer? Oh, oh. The brown nastiness. Oh, that's how you got cancer. You can see it growing. Like barnacles.

You gotta clear it, bro. You can't do it like that. What the hell? You know better. Oh, that's gonna hurt. Oh, man. It ain't gonna get better. Is that just like you have to eat the worm?

No, that's your hit. But if it hasn't been in someone's... Why do you have to eat the worm? No, that's your hit. But if it hasn't been in someone's... Why do you have to clear the fucking thing? Because the next person to hit it gets a stale hit. How the fuck can I hit the worm? They're the coaches. I'll show you right now. What?

When you hit the bone, you're supposed to fill it up with smoke and not inhale while you're eating it. And then clear it off. Yeah. I don't know. The first one is just the, you're gonna finish that, right? You feel like you're lucky you smoked on that first. I don't think I'm physically capable.

Because you hit it like a cigarette. Like, you basically hit... I hit it like a shotgun bang. What's up with that bang? I want to know how does it hang. Straight up, Wait up. Let's get on it, Kenny. Get your beatbox going over there.

I need entertainment. You need entertainment? Yes. I need to be entertained on this goddamn podcast. I'm tired of being the guy. Now I'm high, and you, you, just do a little shuffle. Get up there on the meat of that. None of your business.

Hang on. You know what that reminds me of? This commercial break. And we're back. That hits real smooth. That's fucking nice. Yeah, you just... I was in a bit of a... That hits real smooth. That's fucking nice. Yeah.

I was in a bit of a... Here, how about... I'm going to pass on any more smoking, but I am... Chad brought something you've been holding on to. Oh, man. Oh, I've been afraid of it. Weed-infused vodka. Yeah.

I will do the... I will experiment with the weed infused vodka. Pour us a. Well, Doug, wait your turn, buddy. Take a, or make us each one. What's that? Oh, shit. I don't even know what I'm making.

I knew this would just end up me and you smoking all this weed. That's what, you know. But I've never seen Doug even take a, one time on the man show around the writing table, a joint was going around and Zoe Friedman was there. So Doug took a hit. I just took a hit just so I could say, she goes, I didn't know you smoked weed. He said he did it just because, novelty. But all those years, I never saw him high.

And then he started eating gummies. And I was like, what? Doug keeps his notebook, and all that shit would get done. When he's a drunk, fall-down drunk, he'd get all that shit done anyway. And I get nothing done. I'm high all the time. Now that he's doing gummies and shit, he tells you something, and then it never

goes anywhere. Oh, that's right. Doug's getting high phase of life. He's a teenager you can't count on anymore. Yeah, this is... I was getting high just off of you.

Kenny, that unit... That should be an ad for this fucking company. Look at that. It's like him with that pipe. It's like you and that pipe are, you know, meant to be together in some level. One way or another. But, you know, the feds will just confiscate it

if it goes over to your place. They didn't confiscate nothing. Well, I mean. Your bucket toilet maybe? I was, huh? My bidet. You use a bucket? I don't know.

You know what a great bidet is? Is a hose. It's warm, if the temperature's warm and then you got warm water and you just rinse off your asshole right there in the driveway. That's what I learned from cancer. It's, wow, you can rinse your asshole right in the driveway with warm water. Anyway, you've been gone for a while.

Yeah, I was making a drink and stuff. I thought you guys were holding up well. I heard man show, so I knew you had some old canard you were going to repeat, and that would take a few minutes, so I knew you had some old canard you were going to repeat. And that would take a few minutes so I took my time making a drink. We got to talk about this freeze bite because they are absolutely stunning to look at.

And these guys seem to like how the pot doesn't make you choke. So it's just me. That's the problem. Because it works for everybody but me. So now I'm the dick. Hey, if you want to be the life of the party,

well, maybe you should give that job to Chad Shank or Andy. Upgrade to FreezePipe and get all the fun. It's just what's... Give me to the... Go to FreezePipe.com and use code Stanhope for 10% off your entire order. That's Freeze freezepipe.com and use code Stanhope for 10% off your entire order. That's freezepipe.com and code

Stanhope for 10% off. Order today and get free shipping and say goodbye to harsh smoke forever. Please go and yeah, hook them up and use the promo code. Let them know we're for real. We're not fucking around with this shit.

Ready for your fucking beat session, Kenny? You have beats ready? Have I got beats ready? Yeah, I thought you were going to come and do a little fucking song. Here's your lighter back there. Come on, Kenny. Come over there.

I'll give you a bass line. Yeah. I'll give you a bass line. Well, I'll be in reverse too. I'm going to find out how to do this thing. I'm going to use this chair. See, I told you. Marijuana smoking leads for you wanting to listen to Kenny Brown. Where's the infused stuff? No, it doesn't do that for you guys? No, behind there.

That one looks crazy. Oh, shit. I forgot that was the whole point of, behind there. That one that looks crazy. Oh, shit! I forgot that was the whole point of going over there. I was going to wait to see if you thought you got more high from the vodka before you remember that you didn't use the vodka before I said anything. Oh, did he use

it? No. I followed exactly what he did and go, wait, this isn't what we're supposed to be doing. So let me see. Yeah. That wait, this isn't what we're supposed to be doing. That's high Doug. Okay, I guess we're freestyling. I don't know. You want a beat or do you want lyrics?

I don't know. Do whatever you call it. Whatever you young gangsters call it. What street you live on, man. Just because I'm wearing the boys in the hood shirt doesn't mean I'm a gangster. I'm one of those ones that are like... Rap music was invented to put white men like you in prison. And we're back

with a young man who likes to... You like the beatbox and spitting the rhymes is what we've been told. Well, I don't spit all over yourself, so let's hear it for Kenny. Do you have enough room? Funhouse public access. Do you have enough room for break dancing? well, I don't spit all over yourself, so let's hear it for Kenny. Do you have enough room? Funhouse Public Access.

Do you have enough room for break dancing? Dude, I was when I was. What am I supposed to do? Community? Write this? You're holding it up like I'm supposed to. Like I should read it? I'm reading it.

Okay, you want to read it with a beat box? All right, I'll give you a good beat. Oh, all right. Go ahead. You are on the school board hiring committee, one of two candidates for a middle school teaching position. It is clearly superior. He also has acknowledged that he is gay

and says that he will not lie about that. Asked by students. Vote for the superior teacher. Avoid any problems with parents and vote for the second choice non-gay teacher. Abstain from the voting process. Word out. Pants!

Word, brother. They do this on the streets in Bisbee on the weekends for the tourists, and they busk together. Mama's got a squeeze box. Oh. I don't know how to open that. Mama is a squeeze box. Your mama was a squeeze box.

When you visit us here in Bisbee, as your mayor, I can guarantee you, you can see this on every street corner. A little bit of art, a little bit of local flavor. Kenny the human beatbox is a... Yeah. He's like Mr. Spoon. So Kenny, what made you think that this would be something you'd be good at?

I never thought I was good at it, sir. I was just thinking about when I was a young kid, and I used to just breakdance in alley festivals. You do breakdance. How did I fucking guess that you brokedance? I didn't know you were a breakdancer. Brokedancer? I was a broke dancer. Every time he goes, every time.

Broke dancer? I was, no, no, no, no, I never got. Every time he goes out. Look, just because I work for the church doesn't mean I put out like the other altar boys have done. Keep it going. I don't want you to cut your fingers, but I really want a fucking drink.

I'm going to go back to a real regular drink. All right. Now you get to open it. Here, take your knife back before an accident happens. We have been smoking marijuana. It says do not. There you go. And you got Cuba Gooding Jr., who's at the very least pressure sex in people.

What happened? I was half prepared. He's a sex pest. I know nothing about what Hubert Gooding Jr. has done. I know what happens at your parties with P Diddy that stays private. I've never been to one of those parties. Would you, okay, here you'd be a good one.

My beatboxing and dancing skills were not good enough to make it. I don't know, you know, you're familiar with P Diddy's work, right dancing skills were not good enough to make it. I don't know. You're familiar with P. Diddy's work, right? Some of his rhymes. Oh, no, I hated P. Diddy. All right, this might be too much. You may be the wrong one. Did you do this yet?

Here, take it. Oh. That's like me drinking those drinks. Does it have a fucking dosage? Like 15 milligrams per shot. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot about this. Here, you want to just split that?

Okay. Oh, here's a shot glass. Shot glasses? Are we doing shots? Jesus, oh. Jesus would drink out of a red cup. No, I don't want to do shots. You can sip it. Yeah, it's going to be terrible.

Yeah, I've been terrified of it. I guess maybe if I was going to do a shot, I'd do it with you guys. You don't want to just make it into a drink? I guess so. Let's not be pussies. It just feels like it would prolong. It smells like it'll be fine.

Here, let's let Kenny test it. Kenny, you test it. Kenny will test everything. He's like Mikey. Kenny's the canary. Oh, fuck. Just wrapping in. Derek, we're going to wait five minutes and see.

No, here. Fuck it. If he lives, this is our fucking. And I'm going to make us three drinks. Do it. Come on right now. Yeah. Do it.

You got to do it. Oh, no, no. You did it for us. That's all. People just wanted to see at least one of us. And you're it. Star of the day. Who will it be?

Oh, fuck. Your vote may hold the key. It's up to you. Tell us who. Will be. Star of the day. It could be you. Or you.

It could be. It's probably going to be. Joining us from across the room. We'd put a picture. I'd go around and take pictures of different staff, and we'd put one of them on our door and go serenade them with star of the day. There's no cash award, nothing,

just that picture on the door. And then I would go around and take people's pictures and curry favor. It might be, you know, it might be you. So good. That's great. At the end of it, people were actively trying to be stars of the day, which didn't get anybody star of the day.

Yeah, you just tasted it. First rule is you can't want it. So, is that all right? It smells good. Andrew's going to sip it. Did you want some more weed vodka to get the taste out of your mouth?

I can't feel my mouth. Maybe we shouldn't drink that even as a mixed drink now. I can't feel my mouth. Well, let's see. We didn't really look at him too much before he had it. No, let's see. We didn't really look at him too much before he had it, though. Can we not drink any at all?

No, we're not. Definitely not. Look at him. Because some of this might just be him being natural. Oh, my God. He does seem kind of. No, he looks like he's got bees stung in the mouth. He's a little bee.

A bee. Oh, no. I just can't stop making spit now. Oh, Jesus. I don't want more of that. Get him on fluids. We just died. I've been rightfully told to do that. Is there...

What's the alcohol? Oh, can you prop that up? It's weed, vodka. Nobody even knows what it is. There's no fucking... Oh, no. I don't even know the process. 1-800 number.

Yeah. There's no Somalian. I don't even know the fucking... I don't even know the process. 1-800 number. Yeah, there's no sommelier that's on call 24-7. We should call them instead and do a hack. Stay visible. We want to keep an eye on this. Diet weed.

That's right. Diet weed. We could call the fucking 800 number and go, what's in your weed vodka that made Kenny blow up? Well, maybe we could call it anyway. Or you said they don't have one? They didn't give it to me. I'm sure we could find it if we wanted to.

My friend seems really disoriented, but he's kind of fucking weird. You haven't even finished the whole shot, dude. You didn't? It tastes really good. Well, you got gotta clear the bowl. Derek says it tastes fine. Yeah, Derek's a fucking alcoholic.

You're oversensitive. So am I. I'm with Derek. I'll have one. Whoa, he gets kicked in really quick, too. Really? Yeah. I don't think we can afford a lag in this show. Do we have somebody who's not a retard that we can see how this plays out?

We don't trust either of our canaries. I don't even drink that often. I'm telling you something. Why would they cost it? Okay, now read a card and have him see if it's affecting his ability to spit rhymes. The fucking crew, we're getting the crew. Mimsy.

Mimsy. Did I give you? I haven't had one yet. Did you get one? That's different. You guys are sipping on it like with fruit. Here, let me sip that one and then you make one more. Oh, no.

Yeah, I'll just pour some of that in here. I'm going to sip. There you go. Oh, yeah, I'll just pour some of that in here. I'm going to sip. Oh, there you go. That's a pretty good one. Oh, yeah, you gave one to them. What's that, like one shot of it? That's probably two shots. It tastes like tequila to me. This one pretty light then?

I didn't say it tasted bad. It's delicious. I'm not a drinker. Why would you crossfade weed and fucking alcohol? That's the question I ask myself. That's like, that's just stupid. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, I get it.

I see what you're saying. I mean, I didn't care. I just saw. Oh, shit. If you can make it to it, Matt. If you have a moderation in your person that you control. I'm starting to forget what day it is. So a good friend, am I supposed to wrap this?

What's up, top hat? We got an assortment of bongs in front of us. We're not doing shit in moderation. We should probably get that one ready to roll. I've already was sitting there eyeballing it. So you're gonna give me the old beatski? That is classy to theble. I've already was sitting there. So you're going to give me the old beatski? That is like classy to the point where I always hated the fucking ridiculous bongs. Yeah, the kids at school and then all of a sudden the old man gets up on a step ladder

and then reaches up behind and then pulls the big bong out. This you could display. It looks like a glassware. How hard did they clean? Think about life. Whoa, that one. Is it like this, like once you use it? Because I get a cool bong in there that I would never...

So this is the thing. Oh, just letting it settle. I'm going to let it even out. Chad knows his way around the freeze pipe. You definitely have to clean them right away. You can use them a couple of times, but then you have to clean them because those pipes, those tubes inside aren't all that big around.

The diameter's not that big around in there. So if it gets clogged, you can't hardly get it in there. Would you give it to, like, I don't know if it's still a thing, but Kenny would be the guy that would scrape out with a fucking pipe cleaner the resin just to smoke anything. We were doing dabs. I don't know.

But he would be the guy. If we were doing dabs out of this, per se, like what he said, shatter earlier, that would accumulate down here in this area at the bottom. And yeah, I would scrape the shit out of that because you could smoke it again. And it's like, it's just as good.

So you could get Kenny to pretty much clean your product for free. Everyone knows a Kenny. So why don't you order today? You go to a FreezePipe. Yeah, FreezePipe.com and use code Stanhope, which crazy coincidence. Promo code Stanhope, which crazy coincidence. Promo code Stanhope, and we get 10% off.

Bring one of these babies home. We poured it in the wrong side. Howard, the phones are lighting up over there. Yeah, Derek's on and picking up. Just put your phone in your ear. Look, the operators are both picking up. Get your freeze pipe today. Yeah, call it here on the screen.

We'll be the one nine. Actual operators may not be bingo. Tripping balls. Your operator may or may not be tripping balls. Hold it in. Call now. Ding dong, ding dong. Ding dong.

Riding up back there. That's amazing. We could do some... Do you want to fucking knock out some telemarketing? Sure. Now, save that for a full episode? Okay. You guys are way too hot.

Okay. Very soon. Everyone who bought a book on my birthday, I will be making phone calls on Saturday. Stay by your phone. That's where most people will be home. Hopefully, it's going to be a blocked number. So, if you don't answer it, I'll just leave a message,

and fuck you. Better yet. What's a good time to reach you? But I'll be calling all those people on Saturday. Chad, if you want to come over and call some people and say thanks for buying my book yeah

I think one of my funny ideas is I think I want to start a telemarketing department and get back to my roots yeah start reaching out

to people and I have a lot of great ideas and a god damn I have a trophy uh huh do I have to bring. Uh-huh. Do I have to bring it out again?

Oh, boy. Yeah, that does seem to... Who's going first on this? Wait, are we playing this game? Oh, I'm winning. I don't get it. We've been playing this game. We're playing What Would Jesus Do? And the guy got fucking hung up on a cross

for a fucking traffic ticket. Maybe we shouldn't even waste our time with the guy. That's a very responsible picture. Who? Oh, okay. Proof of life. We're not. I mean...

He was interrupted by his wife in a text, and so he stopped to interrupt us. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, to tell us he was interrupted by... I think it was that vodka weed shit that's got me about to feel like I had too much weed in my system. Oh, he forgets to beatbox. I get in a beatbox. I'm just high. I can't deny it. I'm about to fall on my face on the concrete

because I can't feel what's going on from my nose to my lips. Oh, shit, I might slip with the freestyle coming off the top of the brain. I don't mind, but this is the top that I got. I can't find where I'm going because the path has got me thinking that I'm about to get busted by the FBI. Oh, I might not be able to do it. Nah, get Rick's ass there getting high. busted by the FBI. Oh, I might not be able to. Nah. Yeah, Rick's back there getting high.

My face is so fucking... I know. It's turned into just a giant caricature. I don't know if that's the way. I think the answer to who gets the hit. I think Kenny's the hit. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Do you look high or do you look like that because I'm high? I think I'm high as hell. And I feel't breathe. Do you look high or do you look like that because I'm high? I think I'm high as hell. And I feel drunk too. In answer to Doug's question, yes, you can get too high. Yeah, I'm not having a bad time. No, yeah. But it ain't into that.

Just to see now that you, you know. Do a shot of that shit real quick. Everybody has a game plan until they get punched in the face. You'll question why you did that. You want to go first on the bong? Okay, I'll fucking do it. Fucking, I might as well end up laying down. I'll let everybody...

Oh, are you still rapping? Okay, then no. That rap was done at about... That rap was done at... Now, this bong, what you're going to do is you're going to body surf across the five of us. We're going to plank you in the midair. And then you have to...

Can you make sure to carry me through this? Make a table. I was kidding. No, no. We'll all bend over and make a table. I got this. No, no, no. Where's the bong?

This is the bong? All right, so here's the... Let's clear the benches. Let's clear the benches. We're up by 30. We're up by 30. We're up by 30. Hey, manager kid, put on a uniform.

I was going to say, if I was just drunk... If we were smart. If I was drunk, I would just go, hey, let's just keep going, until it was pointless. But with the marijuana, I just want to fucking wrap this up because there's the pork off

oh yeah pork off the street we're going to go raid a fucking pork party I want to wrap it up so I can smoke some weed I smoke about twice as much weed oh I'm just getting warm drink some of that shit do a shot of that Chad

Chad do a shot of that no no I want to smoke. Oh, yeah. This isn't going to do shit. How high do you need to be? You guys just like to see me be on my fucking face. Just a little bit higher, and then I'll be done. It's like drinking.

Just one more. Who wants to go play tennis after this? One more, and then I'll be great. But one more bong hit, and then maybe a couple of joints. I'll smoke one of them infus on the way up. On the way up? That's exactly what I was thinking, Andy. Yeah.

Like, me and Chad are taking it easy on smoking pot here because we're on camera. You know what? If I was a pot smoker like y'all, I would definitely have one of those fucking torch things rather than fucking burn your fucking... I almost got one for this are you gonna air on your? Just smoking hot like a cop to undercover cop to prove that you you know, that was a good rhyme. Oh, look at that, man

He's back. He's fucking back Did you say black? Oh wait what? Wait, what? I said either or. Say I'm gonna finish this fucking stupid. So how much? Am I supposed to finish all of this? Yeah, I know. Well, you're the one who loaded it.

Hey, pedestrian, hey, spit rhymer, we just met off the street. What do you think about that freeze pipe? Is that as smooth as hit as you? That's probably like a comfortable bed that you haven't had in years. You know, I can get 60 bucks for this shit on the street. Don't look at it like that.

Now, that's exactly a great segue. What I wanted to ask you, Kenny, now you present us with all this, the bong, giant bong, and the Tetra, the one that... The transformer. The transformer bong, and the cute little one with the little bitty doodle-oo-loo-loo. I feel like this is like the... What would you expect to pay as a stoner on a budget?

That is a good game. Yeah. Do you remember the Thundercats? Where they built themselves as the cat where they come five cats and then they build themselves into one? That's what I feel like this whole thing is. You can probably build it all together. A joke and a callback to it. But anyways, I'm sorry about whole thing is. Is you can probably build it all together.

And a call back to it. But anyways, I'm sorry about that. See, that's how high I am. So how much would you, Chad Shank? Sorry. I'm not good at math, so I guess I'll just have to say each one individually. Do it in lumps of salt like the old days.

This one? What would Jesus do? 250. This is sort of like the last step. What would Jesus pay? 250 for this big boy right here. If it were more expensive, he'd just have drugs. 125 for this one. 150, 125, 100.

75 to 100. Maybe that's the... Where's the joint one? Where's the joint one? I'd say the joint one is for your economical smokers. I like that one. Right there is not even, that's more like 35. I like that one, but I would also, with a handgun, I like.

Wait, we got one more. We got one more. And this one should be more visible. See, so I would like to. Maybe just don't try to say it. Oh man, I don't know now. I'm starting to question my liabilities. I like the little one, but if I was a handgun owner,

I'd want one of those Lady Derringers in my belt. Well, too, yeah. Wait, there's another one? You manhandler! You know, everybody wants the big guns, but, you know, John Wilkes Booth with one little fucking gun. Does this come with, like, a dab bowl? There's a little... gun. Does this come with like a dab bowl? This is what it comes with.

That one would be practical for... It does not come with a Jesus game. The what would Jesus do board game. You know, my question that I had to read... It's my fucking turn. I'm out. My character got crucified.

I got crucified. A good friend has been a smoker for 20 years. It's a fucking long time to be a smoker. Lots of shit. Now she has lung cancer and wants to sue the tobacco company for smoking, for making her sick. Even though she was aware of the dangers years ago. You help her gather evidence for her fight.

Ashtrays and cigarette butts. Let's do your thing, man. You're a guy and you happen to have some other guys hanging out in your basement. Persuade her to put her energies elsewhere. Tell her that she would never win and it would cost a lot of money. And in my fucking case, D, I will never start a GoFundMe

nor put a dime towards your legal fund because you're a fucking idiot for your Airbnb and not paying taxes. Jesus. You dipshit. So you pick your answer. You pick your answer. Folks, I don't know what I would go with. Wow, Chad.

Did you understand any of that? He's trying to throw a curveball past the audience. It feels like the words are rearranging in my ear. Because I smoke cigarettes and I've recently quit and now I smoke fucking cigars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I forgot your point. Me too.

That's why Jesus wouldn't do anything. We have a secret show coming up. You have a Patreon people. I heard about it. Like if we could, like I was trying to figure out if we could get a Patreon, like you could get a chance to come do a secret show here at the Funhouse. But you could do it like at over like a,

you and a friend and then arrange their airfare. You'll stay in a, you know. No, no, they have to pay for. All right. Well, I guess, no, if they're already you know. No, they have to pay for, All right. Well, I guess, no, if they're already on Patreon, they wouldn't have to pay for the show, but I'm not flying them out here. You can qualify on a Patreon level,

a thousand dollars a month, and you might be in the running. No, you're like, hey, who, we could do it like on the the board if that still fucking works. Like, if there's a way to notify Patreon people, there probably is. Like, right away, okay, the fucking first bidder, this airfare just opened up. This ticket window just opened up for two people. So whoever fucking buys those two tickets can come to the fucking secret show.

We just have to not plan them on a Tuesday for a Friday, which was what we did this week. We'd have to give you at least a 48 hour window, right? I like that, I had something to say and my head's like, you're too high, you don't even know what you're gonna say. And then I just like, stop, but yeah. Oh, so you do get high.

Well, right there, man. I finally finished that vodka infused with marijuana. With all this freeze pipe technology and everything, I would be traditionally, I would be on the floor crying and calling home or something. But with this freeze pipe and smooth hits and this vodka with the weed in it. It's all just like, right now I just feel like porking out at somebody else's expense. What time is pork?

Five o'clock, we got six minutes to it Kenny. Oh, if I can make it that long, I will be. Okay, so I'm gonna do the bong here. We should make Kenny deliver. No, no, I'm gonna go rob the pork bar. He's just rude on both me-haves. Do you have any pork suits? He's rude to Kenny for making him walk ass up.

That's his fucking 100 feet. Straight up. I am. It's like... I want to remember just this angle. But is it more rude to the neighbors? I took a picture of that fucking mug. I'm trying to do a collection of jack-offs.

We'll see if that comes through. Can you get some close-ups of Kenny? The collecting jack-off pictures. Because I can't tell if it's me or everything's turning into a cartoon. I don't know if Doug enjoys being high on the inside, but I enjoy being around high, Doug. I understand. I look like a cartoon.

Yeah, I just hope it comes through on the camera. Is there a high lens? This should be everybody's goal, and the Patreon's consumers. Look, I'd love to be this high, with this much cool glassware, and even a wrapper. I asked myself when I did this shot of weed-infused vodka, because, I mean, every fucking pothead knows you do not fucking mix alcohol and fucking weed. Oh, you know what else?

They don't know that a podcast might want some conflict. And I love it. But I will flip the fucking clutch in before I shift gears, bro. I don't know how to clutch shit when I'm this high, bro. This is like drunk driving at this point. I only had one shot of that shit. It was like doing vodka. You didn't do one yet?

Ten times the flavor of a dog's. I blame the weed, buddy. I don't blame the weed, I love weed. I'm pretty, the weed has nothing to do with it. I will fucking smoke weed until I pass the fuck out. So I'm ready to go waste six minutes to get to the pork party. How high could we get Kenny and would it be legal?

Why is Dave Rader not here? Call legal and say, hey, we're going to see if we can get Kenny high to death. I think he can get 17% higher. High to death. 17% higher. High to death. And we have a crazy fucking fan base. High to death.

You're rabid. It's just fucking like This is this cruel version of fucking Kill Tony. I'm making jokes here. It's the cruelest version of Kill Tony. Instead of giving him one minute to usually fucking stink.

Higher, higher. We killed Kenny. The reality show. Oh, shit. Can we get Kenny high to death? This week we've got Kenny from Bisbee, Arizona. If you come to Bisbee, Arizona, we have a dispensary right beside the town, steps away from the Safeway Shopping Center

on Naco Highway. Go to Story is the name of our... What's the story with the name? I'll tell you what the story with the name Story for a dispensary is. It's really fucking someone's probably... Oh, because you know what? When you're high, you tell a story. He had some... It's a fucking stupid name. really fucking someone's probably, oh, because you know what?

When you're high, you tell a story. He had some, it's a fucking stupid name, but a great business, and we support it. So go in, tell them you're a first-time customer,

and you're going to see 25%. You get 25%. Yeah, I found that out today and got these infused joints. Infused. Guess what's great about it. Did you say I'm confused? No,

I thought they were infused, but maybe I just didn't understand. When you know a lot of people in town, you can always have a new customer right on your arm to come in with you. Hey, bingo, have you been there? No, new customer. Doug got new customers all over the place. That lady who walks all around town, all leather faced. Yep, new customer.

New customer. Points for me. Go to Story on Knocko Highway in Bisbee and tell them Doug Stanhope told me to tell you I'm a new customer. You'll get 25% off if you mention Doug Stanhope. There we go.

Why do we always think of the grift after we did the fucking... We can do the same thing and make it sound legit. Did you already sell these to them already? Yeah. I love it, Ed.

Yeah, that's the problem. I mean, you know, we've been smoking each other to death from afar. Yeah, you guys are going to be great. Okay, hey, what would Jesus do? That's going to be my gift. Or if someone doesn't remember to get a gift. Are you going to hit this, sir? Hey, I don't...

We're going to leave you now. But what's happening is... We're going to our... You're Doc Sinnott. You've heard Doc Sinnott. I've seen Doc Sinnott on the podcast. His, like, 85th, 58th birthday, one of those. We're going to Sedona, the whole crew.

The fucking Chad Shack and Andy Andrus. It's like American Idol. We're going, I'm going to Sedona. Mom and dad, they're both dead, but I'm going to Sedona. It was always a family dream. We were all going to go together. So maybe, and I won going to Sedona. It was always a family dream. We were all going to go together. So maybe, and I won't be high for that,

or maybe just a normal, edible kind of high. I think they're big board game people. Maybe we podcast if we, maybe because we found this What Would Jesus Do? But by then,

the prank will all be on them. Like, where the fuck are you? Oh, you don't play What Would Jesus Do? There's possibilities. I also have a, yeah. We will be filming something from Sedona for our Doc Sinnott's birthday, the six of us. Bingo. Come around and do

a little shuffle and jive and then you're closing. Oh my God. Take a nice puff. Just a puff. Thank you for supporting. Oh yeah. End it out.

There you go. There you go. That was go. There you go. That was better. Hey! Hey! That's where we should have started. That's where we should have started with the training wheels. Batman Crothers.

Smooth as shit! Smooth like butter. Fuck you. Goodnight. Oh, God. Yeah, it's about as much of a smoke as a person can have. If I had cancer, it would be, yeah, if I had cancer, I'd be going, get the fuck out of here. This is like chemotherapy level getting high. Yeah.

Holy shit. God damn.