The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #550 - "Devil's Bridge & The Crystal Skull" (AUDIO)

Episode Date: May 4, 2024

Andy is a new man after a rejuvenating hike with Doug to Devil's Bridge, Sedona, during the solar eclipse. This episode is sponsored by Astepro. Support the show and visit www.asteproallergy.com Recorded April 8&9, 2024 in Sedona, AZ Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing support. Not a member? Support the podcast at www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast  LINKS -  ASTEPROAllergy.com - Go to https://www.asteproallergy.com for a discount, and get ready to Astepro & Go! Signed copies of "No Encore for the Donkey" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/  We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey, a quick note on this episode, there's two episodes of, I almost said, Issues with Andy, because it is a very big issue with Andy. The one that's going out for free is the sequel. That's the way home. On the way to Sedona, that's part one, and that is and will probably remain just for the second tier and up Patreon subscribers because that's where all the meat is. Even on issues with Andy, he talked about the spiritual enlightenment he had coming back from Sedona, but you have no idea what the the initial problem was going into Sedona that made his epiphany so great. That was the drive up and that I would just, you know, just cough up even if you just do it for the month. Just pay the three bucks

and listen to the first one because it is, I mean the second one works all on its own. You don't need to know what happened on the way up, but you're missing out if you don't. So jump on the Patreon, I think it's Welldrinks. So watch that and then come back and that makes this sequel all the more sweet. I love you, bub.

I'm from Cineida. Good. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. Good. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. I'm from Cineida. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? even hot dog place is that, what did you call it? Could have gone on a food crawl. Food crawl, yeah. Yeah, it used to be, it was an afterthought eating, but now that you've gotten into the edibles, it's the forefront. Well, I brought a fucking Reese's peanut butter cup

from their Turkey Treat Bowl-treat bowl. If I get snacky, it's a four mile hike. And I ate that by the time we got out of the car. I started eating that and then I started to panic that I had no food except more edibles. So yeah, halfway up I ate another. Oh man, yeah, halfway up I ate another. Oh man, yeah, that was a... Oh man, one, well, that marathon in Eugene, I did, you know, impulsively jumped in and I had some pills.

I thought I was taking like an upper and it was a Marinal, like synthetic weed pills. I don't even know if they're still around, but it was like, it's probably a 50 to 100, you know, like real serious knock you out strength of weed. And I took 50 to 100 of them or you had I had just had a couple of things talk because I mean, I had a Marinal in there thinking if I fucking quit, I'll take it or whatever but I took it midway on accident because I had some Providual that was going to get me through the fucking

marathon and I took the wrong drug to get through the marathon. You see the movie Marathon Man where he's yeah that happened is it safe Yeah, I went to no I doubt it. Oh, no. That's the scene where the dental scene. Yeah, so I There was like a u of o pep band and I was my legs were dead as fuck I'd be you know like all cramped up and shit, but they started the pep song, so I started trying to get momentum going, and it's just a fucking train wreck. And then I finally got by a...they were waving me in like a pit crew. People were like, come on in, come on in.

I remember a lady saying, you need to stop and get hydrated, sir. And I staggered and passed past and I made it. I got to the last couple of miles and a guy running past me took interest in, he was a medic and he took a sniff of me. He goes, I go, or he asked if I was okay or whatever and he goes, okay all right. I, he goes, I'm gonna just stick with you to, you know. So his marathon, the last few miles. Well, he was just, if I smelled like ammonia, I would be, my organs would have been shutting down.

But he was suspicious that my organs were shutting down. So we did the last couple miles together, he stayed with me and I finished and went right into the medical tent and I was all fucked up sailing but they sailing bags and massages and people who kept checking on me and shit is that how they can charge you to do something that's well there's yeah all that free all that stuff volunteer and you got but yeah it's it's a moneymaker yeah I don't know why I

know why wouldn't people pay to fucking run on you could run the whole thing the next day with the same course you can plan it with those same people yeah we're just gonna not pay and just do it on a Friday well though so Mishka Shabali's values himself as a runner. Bragging, putting his shirtless torso... He was running away from fucking allegations and problems. Yeah, he's not just a runner. He's a runner in every aspect of it.

But he had some dang-a-going challenge for folks. And I was a volunteer at the marathon course marshal where he just you know makes sure cars don't go down the wrong way or whatever and then I just kept it that my I got I you select the first three miles of it or whatever so you're fucking in and out of there so I do about 20 minutes everybody runs past and this that year I just wanted to keep upgrading and I went into different volunteer positions that I wasn't signed up for until I worked my way down to

handing out medals to finishers and then I just put a medal over myself, threw some water on my face as I was walking off, went through the thing, went into the medical tent, they gave me a sailing trip and I got a massage and shit and they go your legs are pretty good but I got and then I sent up I got the finisher all fucking looked like I'd finished a marathon got a medal yeah but I went down was putting medals on people for a second and I just went... I don't know if Alex could have made it to the top of Devil's Bridge or if... I assume he's just being polite because he stayed down with me. When I get up to that last thing... I have video of how it... I didn't realize I had it, but, uh, you started up those stairs,

Alex was right behind you to going, uh, and then there was some discussion, you waited for something and then that was it. Well, as, uh, I really, my depth perception after the second edible, I'm uncoordinated anyway, and if I got up there to prove what? There's more than a reasonable risk that I will hurt myself trying to get up this last bucket. A lot of people pay big money to have Sherpas get them up to Mount Everest and then they're a hundred feet from it and they're like, nah, this is bullshit, I'm going back and that's kind of what happened

at Devil's Bridge for Doug. He was not far from completing it, but it was the most difficult. Man, I can see the people right there that were now in, now that I realized, I didn't make it for a good reason because there was like a line of people to go to this. Once you get up there, you got to a line of folks waiting so you can get out.

It's called Devil's Bridge and there's a little rock bridge. People can Google it. Yeah, you can Google it. So there's a line and people are on there. You know, it's the merges. By the way, the people in line are not in any of the pictures that you find on Google of Devil's Bridge. It's just this...

Oh, I fucked up. ...scenic... Yeah. So, everybody goes out there. They have a couple of minutes to do a pose. People take a picture from a distance. It's like, you take my picture of this, that. John and Cheryl, our lovely host, they went out.

Everybody's doing the thumbs up, the look arms up, you know, nobody did the Nazi salute, but that's like the natural arm thing to go or pointing. So I went out and I decided I'll take my cell phone and light a joint, smoke a joint while I'm over there on this narrow bridge that you could fall to your death on. And then I'm looking across at all the people. I'm just smoking the joint and hanging out,

unaware or whatever. And then all the people, there's like 50 people across and they're just looking right across from you. And I got a big laugh, which I was like, oh, somebody did something different in this guy. But I thought it was funny to be on the edge with like not even acting but it's I thought it was funny to be on the edge with a like not even act like I heard you got applause I got applause and laughter and and it kept going I like just smoking pot it's like

wow yeah the sentence were very impressed they're not they're not of the comedy world or around people like that much so they were wildly impressed yeah and how I fucked up as I could while I was smoking pot holding my cell phone I could have videotaped the crowd over there but I was just so into the quick in and out so I went went over quick and then John actually told me to go back so he could take more blurry pictures of me and so there's if anybody hears this and was there on Devil's Bridge and saw an old man smoking weed on there, I would like a clear picture of it. But here's the annoying fucking thing is it's all on courtesy and there were a couple of

fucking influencers posing, yoga pose, friends come over, it's like fucking get out. That's where we wanted Doug Stanhope to move the line along there and shame people. So that- I was very silent. we wanted Doug Stanhope to move the line along there and shame people. But so... I was very silent. You were a... Well, you... Because of your ride up and your Great Depression, you took a night off drinking. I took a...

I got sober. I mean, I legitimately thought, you know, enough's enough. I'm not a drink... That much of a drinker anymore about no I guess I fall into the pints more in Arizona than I do in other places But uh yeah, I quit drinking and made some positive life changes and I got a crystal skull I went to a guy and I it's supposed to heal on everything Any kind of weird leanings or whatever. I got one that cures me.

What was your line? I see this as being... Mm-hmm. Yeah, I tried to visualize. Well, he was using, he goes, you know, this is a great deal at this price. And then he peeled showed me it was an even better deal or whatever. And then I go go I'm using the vortex energy and I'm visualizing that you're gonna drop the price even lower and he vortex manned up outfitted me vortex me back to a price but I think he did drop it I think ultimately he did because it was a he said it was what what did he say this goal was supposed to be a hundred and he was gonna charge me a hundred and thirty and then yeah was that everything else like mark down from a arbitrary price we put on it before oh look at how the savings he was telling a

lady that at the counter he goes it's 900 for the rock but that's I'm telling you that's a really good price for that and it's gonna do this and this and you won't you won't shit right for a week So I got a skull Oh, I've started to say that so it's all on the courtesy system and your narrow bridge We can shove to your desk some people get to the edge and it makes people go, or whatever, a little nervous.

And out of nowhere, a Mexican family shows up on the ledge. They didn't wait in line at all. It's like, oh, build a wall or whatever. Like some of the shit they say, they can jump over walls. Well, they did that because they entered the bridge on the other side of it, which you can, I guess, if you're assholes. Well, they evidently had to jump a three foot... A three foot thing to get over there.

Yeah, but if they had not missed that three foot jump, they would have fallen to their death. So they did kind of provide some entertainment in cutting the line. And they were going to kind of just cheat themselves over or whatever but everybody was you know that was when other people started going hey man whatever but this one the kid he's like a fat 13 year old poncho V lo looking motherfucker and he sits where people are doing the picture and then looks the other way just sitting like photobombing. No, yeah, I guess By default because it's only this yeah bridge then can't not be in the yeah, then he

gets up and walks behind somebody who's doing so Shove them to their death would have been pretty high now. We have a guess we have a guest caller. It's collar. I was right them to their death would have been pretty easy. Hang on, we have a guest caller. Guest caller, right. Hello, hello, Bigga, Bigga, you're on the Driving Home Podcast.

Drive Time Live on Oh no, there's some stupid thing that I found out. I can't remember what it was. There's a thing with the sky and I was looking at it and then I got in trouble because you're supposed to have some things and oh god.

Alright well first of all I fucked up and put you on speakerphone so you're not coming through the car volume so we're gonna have to let you go and we'll talk to you after drive time. The sad drive home with Doug and Andy with podcast we'll call you after that's finished. Okay, but I know. Oh that was Bingleman calling in. Morning radio. Weathers looking good. Yeah but it was just kind of creepy that this fucking kids walking behind where people are and anyway yeah it was worth it we got a picture how you got a big laugh and applause and a blurry memory picture I

went back down because even the stuff that I did go up was fucking difficult so a lot of that steep shit I had to go down like on my full back like crab walking awkwardly. But yeah I don't think you would have gained much by getting up to I don't see you going over to the bridge waiting in line. Yeah well yeah no I would have fucking snapped as soon as the line I saw. I'm not waiting in line for fucking nature. Yeah there's a few people that were really annoying there There was a couple, you know, like extra, like, no, this is too much. But I-

Oh, wait, wait, wait, we forgot. You must've made a fucking showing up to a hero's welcome because we spent all this time, it was the eclipse. So Sherrill had brought glasses that you could look at the eclipse through, you know, disposable. So we just, after you look at it, you go, ah, boring. But at least I know that what what it's doing that I can't stare at. So we were handing out paper glasses to

everyone along the way. Hey, do you want to check out the eclipse? Oh, thank you very much. That's so great. So we had a fucking, by the time you got up there, you had to be amongst people we had already let use the time you got up there you had to be a mojo We had already yeah, let use the glass. Yeah, there were quite a few the Arizona gal with the Arizona hat Happiest girl I've ever lady. I've ever you can ladies the Yukon ladies Yeah, there was a it was the Natty that night too So the Eclipse Natty night and there was a group of Yukon people, and I told them how Yukon's gonna beat their ass,

it's not even gonna be close or whatever, and I hate that center, fucking backwards ass, Indiana fucking rednecks, and they were in tune with that. And then I saw some people from Purdue, and I go, oh, I also told them, oh, I hate the Yukon folks. I hate that fucking retarded center that Purdue has, that fucking idiot. And then I told the Purdue folks,

oh man, Purdue's gonna kick some ass tonight. It's not even gonna be close. I love that center. That guy's great. What's his name? Didn't he drop the F bomb in his interview? Yeah, that guy's great. And then I saw the Yukoners again and told them, I told them the Purdue folks the same thing, but I didn't mean it

And who won Yukon by 15 because the Vortex went through my feet on my walk But that was a good feeling I got there was a point where I felt like I was at some sort of church revival of handing out those things? Yeah, we felt like a church group because we're bringing missionaries, bringing supplies. We're giving you a gift of a miracle. It's like if you did that in the old times and you go to the Indians, no, look up at the... We would have been spiritual leaders and could have gotten any of the squaws. Well, yeah, the majority of them said, wait, we didn't even know that was

going on today. Thank you very much. And that's how boring the eclipse was. But yeah, you wouldn't have noticed that there's an eclipse. The funny, Doug's got a shirt on. The catchphrase, everybody looked up and most 90% of them said, whoa, wow, wow. Yeah, I just happen to be wearing a shirt that says wow. Yeah, and then Doug reveals he knew the catchphrase of the day before it happened was wow. But yeah, that was I got towards I mean, towards the end of it, or, you know, there's so many people were so appreciative of I've been doing, I mean, you've seen me do comedy, so I'm not used to a group of people appreciating me.

So it was nice and people, everybody was, thank you so much, I'm happy. We hung down on that. Another caller. That's Andy. Really? Okay, it's Delaney. This'll be good.

Hi Delaney, you're on Morning Radio with Doug and Andy, drive time radio. Wow. Wooo! See how come she's not coming through the fucking thing either. I'm coming to...I got you on speaker anyway. How's it going? Good.

Thanks, PT. Okay. Physical therapy. Yeah. Alright. Alright, well. Yeah, your right All right. Well, yeah your body's staying. We got to have you through the car or car thing or you don't come through we're taping for a

further America and Parts it's an international thing Anyway, yeah, don't fuck on. Yeah. Hey wait, I love you. Bye All right, This is Cottonwood. What a bummer. I know of three places that should be pretty fucking Purdy is Cottonwood and then Jerome, which is where Maynard lives from Tule. As a really he's got a winery out here and

as a really it's gonna winery out here and Says on his Wikipedia page. He's known to chase people off his property with a paintball gun I wish that was on my Wikipedia page Is that on the way black bear diner? That's fucking good breakfast. I just don't want that I don't like to stop right away. What where's uh, wherenard at on the way? Jerome. Jerome is this, they call it a ghost town but it's very much like Bisbee is what everyone says. They're like twin cities. I mean I know if I had the option of pulling off for a while and having Maynard chase me off his property and point a paint gun at me? So yeah, so when I was, we were on the shelf below and Mimsy went up and Alex stayed with me. I think he was worried or babysitting.

Afraid he'd miss me falling off a mountain and not get it on camera. Mimsy was, well we had- I had, there's three girls I went up to and I said, hey would you mind taking a picture of me, with me, cause the girl at work that I really like and I don't want her to find out I don't have any friends. And they went, oh okay.

I think that's the three. Now you can say you have friends from Colombia and Spain. I think I also had a photo bombed with that group, those girls. Is it old men trying to go like, oh, everywhere we go, the young ladies just want to hang out near us. But yeah, they might've thought, like people really, I'm sure thought we were some kind of Christian missionaries, because we were just,

no, please look at the eclipse, there's no charge. It's the First Lady I go you want to look at the eclipse she goes no thank you and then she they didn't realize it was even it's like here put on my dirty glasses for the second lady but I hadn't so what's that show where they're like the all the dudes trying to hook up with a chick and they go they get a bachelor set fifth wheel I'm thinking of fifth wheel where there's like a oh wow that's a whole day yeah back in the blind date yeah but there would be it would be like you could tap somebody out and go I'm gonna spend some alone time with your girl or with the girl and Memzy and me had our bonding after the the climb but she

was she was up above where you guys before you guys stopped she came up to that next part and hung out for a bit and she was torn between situation with what's going on this three three way no I'm kidding but uh I asked when we got back after you spent the time up there with the doctors sent it as when they get back to the house I said okay so well which one of them sucked a better dick but yeah it was uh it would have been funny if I could have did the couple photo with Mims on the Devil's Bridge. That was one of your funniest lines coming up was the, while we were driving to the Devil's

Bridge, you said, oh we have to get our aura portraits done while we're here. Yeah, me and Doug. Yeah, you can get your aura, aura imaged. Me and Doug's aura together on a piece of paper. But that was all that was a. That's what the vortex kind of cracks. You know, like I'm I maybe don't beat myself up with negativity like I used to as much, but they're still underlying and then when you take your shoes off and you walk and you feel the earth vibrations in your feet, it sends you to a store to buy a $200 skull,

which is part of my comedy routine act now and I'm gonna see if I can't get people to tip him. Hey, shout out to Astor Pro for sponsoring this episode and for the free samples. Thank you very much. Allergies suck ass. I don't know if you have problems, but Astor Pro is a game changer. I quit smoking.

Can I stop fucking saying that? Can I stop patting myself on the back? But they say you get your sense of smell back. And what I've been smelling this spring especially is pollen and fucking allergies and snotty booger snarty. AstroPro is a game changer. Let me read the shit that they tell me to say so you know how to get them. But just trust me that it works. Yeah, pretty good. AstroPro is a first-of-its-kind nasal allergy spray. Other nasal sprays take hours to kick in, but this stuff works in 30 minutes. I can attest, which is great when I have to record a podcast or ad copy or just breathe

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That's A-S-T-E-P-R-O allergy.com. Astapro and go! This is directed for relief of nasal congestion, runny nose sneezing, and itchy nose due to allergies. Ask the pro and go. Hello. Hmm. I ate like a fucking perpetual motion machine

from the minute we got home. Well it didn't start here. Well we stopped at Safeway and I just oh pre-made meals just heat them up and I go oh turkey mashed potatoes and green beans that's lovely. And then I went so you guys get spaghetti and meatballs, and I'm like, oh, that sounds way better. I don't want to go home, man. Yeah. So then I got spaghetti and meatballs, and then I got something else.

The giant roast beef sandwich, I got like five things, and then I just started eating everything and they all made cookies, and I literally... Oh, you know what it's like, we used to take this fucking really annoying old lady would end up, her son lived in Coquille and she lived in Menlo Park, Palo Alto, so when my dad would, you know, we had lots of trips there in different ways, car travel a lot and we'd get this Alice Lyman is fucking old non-stop babbling cunt that would make me I get car sick I couldn't ride with Alice Lyman without vomiting several times and it's a long drive to Oregon to

Northern California and non-stop but we get got to the border with a cherry where they ask if you have fruits. Yeah. And that bitch went haywire with the fucking cherries, just jamming them, fucking juice dripping down her fucking face. And it was some sort of a depression-era trigger about wasting food or whatever. That's what it reminded me of watching you eat last night. Like Alice Lyman, afraid the fucking cherries are gonna get thrown out. Oh shit we're having a spaghetti feed. Yeah, yeah, green chili chicken enchiladas.

I just thrown everything in the cart. I ate most of it except for that original turkey dinner. I realized it didn't have gravy. I like to have some point. I love it. When we were on the road and we'd go to a place, get some fast food, take a bite and it's fucking shit, throw it out the window. Now that didn't work out. The new dog after Edibles would go back and get the burger.

Oh shit, did I just throw out my burger? I'm very impressed that everybody was up on their own accord by six o'clock in the morning so we could get out of there early and take the fun way home because Andy does have a hard out at five o'clock on a plane, so if we didn't get going till, yeah, nine or 10, then we're- I usually wake up early, but especially when I can hear a TV and it was, we were watching a movie

and Doug curled up and went out and I don't know- Well, if you leave a guy asleep, then that's when you're the last guy out. Because if he's obviously asleep, he's not watching TV. I guess I was technically the last person awake to leave the room because John got up and I thought he just went to the bathroom so I left. And then we had that movie jacked to about 40 or 50 on the volume level. Yeah, well it was crank so you can't really watch that quiet. Yeah you want to hear all of it and so yeah so I woke up early heard that TV in went

out turned it off and you were out of there. So yeah it's just I can imagine hanging in that town and doing all the shit, spa day, getting your nails done, you'd probably drop a few grand in that town. Yeah, instead, all we did was, I think all we did was buy gas and... Food. And safely. Because we brought our own booze.

That's always a weird thing. Do I bring the booze back that I didn't, that didn't get drunk? I left a bottle of champagne and... There was champagne there? Yeah. That's what I would. All right, now this is the way to Jerome,

which is where Maynard lives and has a winery. There's a documentary about him and his winery in his small town and it was about as interesting as visiting a winery. How far is it to Jerome? Not far? Three miles now. Oh shit, are we going in? Well, they said it's a ghost town, but, uh, I'm sure there's, there's people that live there. It's worth a drive through. Yeah, no, I think we're driving through it.

I don't know if there's anything to stop at or... Mainer Duanry. But, uh, yeah, it's supposed to look a lot like old Bisbee. I'm still in, undecided on going to Vegas. I don't think Vegas would, well you were there for long stretches by yourself, weren't you? Yeah. Five days in Vegas, gonna be any fun at the plaza for me with just occasional going out and having a drink with Linda? Yeah, it was, it used to be way better because you could do it on the cheap.

Yeah. It used to be way better because you could do it on the cheap. Yeah, well she's paying for, I mean, but yeah, I mean just I got all the other expenses and shit and it'll be by myself. Yeah, I don't know. I don't enjoy sitting by a pool that much that I would leave my old dog for. I think I'm gonna either shorten, see if she'll shorten it and just go in for two or three days. She would totally change the ticket, so that might be the best way. Have my cake and eat it too and not be bored in Vegas extra time. There's a ghost car driving up above and people living in this ghost houses. Ghost City Hotel.

Liberty Theater. Look at this gig here. Someone's got a gig going on. I don't know where I'm going. Let's park it for a second. I'm gonna just start screaming, where's Maynard? We're looking for Maynard. Play tool, where's Maynard? We're looking for Maynard. Plate tool really loud.

Maynard! Maynard! What? Can't we not be sober? You want to stop at that coffee place for a sec? It was around the corner? Or are we leaving? We're leaving, but the next stop is Prescott,

which is also gorgeous. So yeah, and by then we'll have, maybe we've already, what the fuck, car play not available. Have you been touching buttons, Andy? No, I don't think so. All right. I guess, yeah, I guess I was more the,

I always worry about you doing the wrong thing or breaking things or setting things on fire and I'm just the one that just kept left. The first night I was fucking watching Legion of Skanks because my mother was in their MILF madness, mania, whatever, and I was trying to watch out on my phone and I must have fallen asleep because I remember I took an over the counter, a Xanax and an edible for bed all at the same time. I made a production out of it. Plus you had the most serious downer a person can take, physical fitness. No, no, this was the first night.

Oh. And I went into my bed because I was watching this Legion of Skanks thing on my phone because it was talking about my mother and her showing her titties on the podcast. And I must have fallen asleep with it in my hand and her showing her titties on the podcast. And I must have fallen asleep with it in my hand because I woke up and it was still playing 10 hours later on the floor, my phone's on the floor

and I'm waking up thinking, someone is playing a fucking Dave Chappelle in the living room and it seems like there's a small speaker and here's someone looking around for this speaker and then I find my phone and it's just still playing YouTube. Your fucking phone should shut shit off after 10 hours right? Yeah. If you're unattended. The battery might die. It was down to 14% that's a lot of YouTube clips and I wasn't hooked up to their Wi-Fi so that's all my data. Yeah both mornings was loud.

Yeah and then last night I fell asleep to crank but it's your fault for leaving me alone with it. No but you walked past. Slept, walked past, slept, walked past. If you left a bar and I was sitting in the car, passed out with the car running, you'd be remiss in your duties to not at least reach in and turn the car off. Yeah, if I was a soldier, I would have left people behind, not because I was a coward, just because I forgot about them or whatever.

I was thinking that on the trail yesterday. At one point, we kept switching positions of who's in front on the way back down. And at one point, I couldn't remember if Nimzy was behind me or in front of me, but I realized I hadn't looked back one time for the entire hike down. So if she was behind me and had fallen off a cliff,

I wouldn't have noticed she was missing until I get to the car. And when I get to the car, it was, I felt like I had just escaped my violent demise into thin air. And I got back to base camp where I knew there was water because I was fresh out before I even took to get to the top. The Australians were very romantic.

Oh, man, yeah. Going out to the hot tub. I regret that they weren't on the bridge with that for the couple's photo, but that's why I thought it would be funny if I could get... if she made it up, that it was me and her in the photo. Alex would have been quietly jealous and he probably started plotting ways to fuck with me.

How's your wife anyway? Don't bring up my wife in front of your girlfriend again, man. Why are you trying to cock block me? I told Dave and Cheryl, this morning I go, oh man, I'm gonna have to go home and say goodbye to my dog for the last time. I'm gonna have to put her down immediately almost. Oh man, you can tell they were sad. And I go, yeah, she hadn't been downstairs since I left. And then she came down for a Jehovah Witness meeting, so I think I'm just gonna kill her. It was really fun watching them catch on to some Andy-isms

and Andy stories that are not part of the story he's telling, like this morning. Oh yeah, we used to get free passes to go there because of my, when my grandmother got mauled by a lion at the mall and then he goes back to this story. Yeah, yeah, that's a nice... He's just gonna skip past the time his grandmother got mauled by a tiger. At a shopping mall in Coos Bay. Pony Village mall in Coos Bay. Yeah, they were talking about ostriches.

And I go, oh, I hate ostriches. One of them banged their car window at Wildlife Safari. We used to get free passes there because my grandma got mauled by a tiger at that Pony Village Bond Marché. What? And if he hadn't been redirected he would have just gone right past the Tiger Malling as the reason for his free passes and then just bitched about ostrich farms. But how he got them for free. Six thousand. I gotta get high at this height. Yeah we go to maybe 30 more minutes of mountain stuff, I'm guessing, and then... I think at this rate we're going to be able to do the full bugging. Wow. These freeze pipes really hold a charge.

I left this for hours and hours and I turned it on, it's ready to roll. Oh yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to fuck up the wind. The good thing about freeze pipes is smoke doesn't bother anybody. Shit. How's it look down there? Pretty great. I don't know if you can swing a camera that way. Can you? Alex?

It's nothing special. It looks like Death Valley. Yeah. It's better to be facing forward. One of those roll. That's the head on collision I have around one of these corners. Uh. I'm gonna drop. It's so stupid. Mimsy? Yeah.

Do you see where my hand is down there? Or? Dropped a lighter. It's that char- er unit. Oh, the whole unit? The little smoking unit is right. Anyway, I'll get it later Dang it fucking fumble the last thing you need is to lose your freeze pipe ball

We're going up to about seven are we It's like when a baby loses its binky, you sure don't want to get separated from your freeze pipe. Not at this height. I felt strong this morning just walking up those stairs. Yeah. But I don't expect it'll last. I was, I thought, even though he's a great hiker, he really dug in on those steps going up that last churn with that fucking dog and the backpack. He almost fell backwards. Yeah, that fat dog is not built for hiking. That's not a hiking dog, it's a fucking hiking hindrance. Buddy did some of it good by fucking climbing up difficult shit without carrying a dog. There was no other dogs out there. I kind of like it now. Delaney's, uh, when she does her commutes or whatever, she'll usually call one of us

90% of the time. Well, not 90. Where is she again? She's in Colorado. All right. She'll do drive time calls to, uh, and, uh, I don't answer it all the time because sometimes it's like ah she's just using me to kill time and traffic yeah exactly but uh I love talking to her she's not gonna provide content for this today

physically providing content for this oh I. But yeah hopefully Prescott is coming up here soon. Prescott will bail us out. Yeah we can end this Sedona to Prescott. Beautiful drive. 830 in the morning fucking woke up fresh everyone's coffeeed. I'm not taking I'm not trying anything but water I was afraid of adding that one extra mint that made mr. creosote explode the beginning of Monty Python's meaning of life but if we see a breakfast spot or maybe some drive-through tacos and breakfast tacos yeah it's a It's kind of a bummer to be back in where you make decisions, or not you in particular,

but there's no vortex that leads, you know. Like where we had a drink the other night, we weren't heading there. The vortex, I got that skull and we could just follow it around and you don't have to make decisions anymore you just follow your... Yeah that's what I was envisioning the whole... It would have been... The whole time as soon as I get off

this stupid mountain I'm going to get a margarita but then I realized we have the dog we can't go just piling to a restaurant but Safeway worked out great. Oh yeah that's what I was trying to bag groceries there on the roundabout like it just keeps spinning and I just had a bag and then the bag kept spinning too and all the groceries kept spinning. It had the circular thing to hit the button to get the stuff to you and then you bag it and then you hit the button for the next stuff. It was like one of those guys. But he was leaning into it so the thing just kept spinning so he was just trying to grab

things off of it like a carnival midway. Yeah, it looked like it was like a game show where like price is right. Yeah. Where you try to put as many. Grab all the things in one minute. Put $35 worth of groceries in here in under eight seconds, but I kept spinning around and the old fellow there, checker goes, just to let you know,

you're leaning on that. That's what's causing it to go around. You're doing that yourself. And then I realized how fucking high I was. I go, oh, sorry, I'm high. That's a go. I shouldn't be bagging groceries in this state it's still snow. He had a he was fun look at that squirrel go squirrel fuck out of

here we're in the snow I'm very glad that I got to see Jerome because as long as you live in Bisbee people ask, oh have you been to Jerome? And yeah, Jerome doesn't hold a fucking candle to Bisbee. That's cute enough. I've got me and Mimsy would have a great time hitting the shops there in Jerome. I like that you didn't Mimsy would have a great time hitting the shops there in Jerome. I like that you didn't shame me like my wife would have about spending $200 like a fucking idiot on a fucking skull.

Way easier. We're still 26 miles from Prescott on 20 mile an hour fucking curves. God damn it. Maybe we wrap this up sooner. Maybe we wrap this up. We could pause. We've always well you can just not talk and he can just cut out the dead weight. I'm assuming he's doing that anyway. Yeah he's already thinking of all the cutaway shots. That's what he said we don't need much because there's gonna be plenty of cutaways. All we need to show is that

the Andy that came to Sedona is not the same wretched soul that left Bisbee. It's easy to fall back into those patterns, but when you really experience change, real change doesn't come from a negative place like rock bottom. Right. That's where assholes go to fucking put a bandaid on the wound.

I think at best you were hoping for palliative care here in Sedona, like end of life hospice type of care rather than a new beginning which you found. I wasn't looking for a new beginning but I got here and it just it was waiting for me. Sedona knew I was coming and that's before I got here and yeah I'm gonna... And I actually showered so yeah everyone grew a little bit oh but yeah so you know so those people that put the band-aid on it they just get a little quick fix and they're not even addressing past life healing because a lot of oh let's go piss let's go piss let's go piss I just want to go up to Let's go piss. I just want to go up to people and say can I get a selfie with you?

I want this girl at work to think that I have friends. I think that delivered perfectly would make someone cry. This girl at work, I just wondered if I had friends. Can I get a picture with you guys? So I get this girl at work that I want I wanted to take out friends. Sure. Alright, that'd be great. Hey, could you take it? Am I have friends sure all right that'd be great hey could you take my hiking friends yeah yeah I love hiking I get outdoors all the time okay guys big cheesy smile for him. That's perfect thank you very much. One from Spain, two from Colombia. Very nice.