The Doug Stanhope Podcast - #559 "Flaming Buttholes"

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

It's a special, hair of the dog, podcast with JD Pinkus (Butthole Surfers) and Michael Ivins (The Flaming Lips) fresh from performing at The Hitching Post the night before. Also on mic are Jules Kean (The Lolly Bombs), Chad Shank and Andy Andrist.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

We've tried to camp out on our deck, just like on clots, on acid, on butt rooms. Wouldn't you go full? I'm not even asleep by the time that sun at 515 is blaring right in your eyes. Yeah, I didn't close any of the curtain things. So I was up at 6, and I went to sleep at 2.30. It was comfortable. Very comfortable. But the light hits my eye.

I'm like. So when Julia and Michael came here, I'll just run out and grab them and bring them back. Yeah, yeah. Just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're fine. Whatever.

Can I get a glass, maybe? I've got tequila in here, so. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Tequila? Hang on here. That's how I travel. So I peel the label back just a little bit

so I know which one it is. I have a lot of waters in the truck and so I reach back and I'm like, there's some on the loose later. There you go, it's nice. I'm a champ. I tour manager would pack vitamin water bottles, but with a big V on top, if it's vodka, we're smuggling into the green room.

And fucking Brett Eriksson came off stage one night, sweating in a room that had no air conditioning. And it was like a loft, and it was 150 degrees degrees and he came on stage it just started chugging and bingo did it once with her a mouthful of her meds where she had to swallow cuz can't my buddy did it my buddy had brought his moonshine down from Ohio when my man honky was playing and it was hot as fuck. And my guitar player's not a moonshine guy. And he thought the same thing. Oh, thank you.

He thought the same thing. He came in and he just had moved all this shit around. So he gets it and he grabs it. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Moonshine, straight moonshine. And so I had a bunch more of them. So I kept switching. He'd have one of the water bottles up there and when he wasn't looking when he's

driving and take it and put the moonshine up there and then it got to a point where they just kept going. Okay. Oh, yeah. Do you want like the mixture with that? No, no, to kill the rocks is good. Thank you. I thought about coffee this morning. But know to kill the rocks is good thank you I thought about coffee this morning but I'm doing a Bailey's Bailey's whiskey coffee yeah Derek's on his way you guys can bartend for yourself either in here or there and Derek's on his way then vodka yeah we do the total wine runs where cuz it like Safeways I overpriced as fuck so so we go to a total wine and we're like we're like just rubes on

Black Friday stocking up with fucking cheap Christmas presents. So we're getting, a wine's $4 instead of $6, but if we buy a thousand of them, we're making money. And just we come back with a bunch of bottom shelf cheap shit. I'm always impressed with people that have, like I was telling Shay, when I go into someone's house and they have a bunch of bottles with booze in it I'm like how do y'all do that what is the

secret to you like me and my wife don't do that we we keep you know like we go like fuck around in a Sunday shit yeah I always wondered that about wealthy heroin addicts why is Artie Lang having a drive to Delaware in the middle of the night why wouldn't you just buy in bulk to have the money? I would figure, but you know, I think the deal is I had a neighbor the same thing He was Bad bad alcoholic and he's still like he's off the brown water but I was like he would go to a really expensive liquor store in Austin and pick up a pint and I was like

Why don't you just get a handle bottle like me and my lady get handle bottles. And I said, why don't you get a handle bottle? It's way cheaper. He goes, I'll drink the whole handle bottle. And so he had to buy just a little bit. And I bet that was Artie's thing. It's like, if he bought it a bunch, he'd end up doing too much.

That might be my problem, because maybe I should be buying an eighth of weed a day instead of a quarter pound at a time. That might be why I smoke so much goddamn weed. When I smoke cigarettes, I would never buy a carton in most of my career, like 40 years, because that was a commitment. That means you'll never quit.

You always want to have the, I'll quit soon. So that might be the heroin angle, too. I want to pretend this is, I'm done with this. Only trailer trash and Appalachia buys cartons. I get it. I just wanna shut that stair and add that fucking layer of that white wall and it's disturbing me. You get done at what time and at the bed at what time?

2.30 and then I was up it Oh, I was up early, but I looked at my phone. It was like six o'clock and at that time. I'm just I'm done I don't really sleep that much. Yeah, I know it sucks And I did I like stuff for six hours up in New Mexico So there was like I live in a beautiful area in the hills in West Asheville, but nobody can afford a muffler area in the hills in West Asheville but nobody can afford a muffler. So five o'clock in the morning, yeah, it doesn't matter how far away you are from the road, you know, my wife's deaf, lucky for her, but I get to I get the rumble in the morning, you know, coming on and yeah, this is our normal morning

traffic. So I'm up then, then the dogs are up and then it's just over for me. That's why I look so old, man, you know. I mean, yeah, I know I'm your senior. I'm up then then the dogs are up and then it's just over for me. That's why I look so old man You know, I mean, yeah, I know I'm your senior. I'm Six months your senior March 25 shows man. That's a really really heavy six months, I guess That was the whole point of this We got the the flaming butthole fucking scene going on on a Monday We played with Sonic youth and and flaming lips And I think it was something like the shirt said said Sonic flaming buttholes or something like that Gotta go with that if you're gonna well, that's the great thing about name-dropping you get the woman you're together. I go. Yeah, we had this whole

flaming lip butthole surfer contingent going on. No one's gonna say which one. Except for people who know you. Yeah. So yeah, the point was to see how, because you don't really find anyone, I don't find much of anyone my age doing what I do that's still drinking. Oh, so it was a pleasure when I saw you with a pint glass that was down to a

very clear liquid with a fat straw. I go, he's drinking water and he's hydrating and he's doing some Al Jorgensen cleanse. It's never gonna stick. And you go, oh, Tito's soda. And I'm like, all right. That's a maintaining drink. So I used to be more of a whiskey guy

and I wanted to get where I wanted to go really quick. And then I realized being a steady drinker is way more effective. And I'm never drunk, I won't say I'm never drunk, but it takes a lot to get me drunk. Last time I got drunk, it was because these guys, I was on the road and I was opening for a clutch and helmet and quicksand,

and I asked my buddies owned a liquor store up in Kansas City. And the pairing and I said, hey, you mind if my buddies bring some liquor out to the place for here? Because they usually just kept out of their hair. They're like, sure. And they brought a bunch of different stuff. And they had some of the bubbly waters with the grain alcohol

in it, like white cloth. Kind of, but whatever fancy brand. Zima, whatever. Yeah, and so I remember this guy was in this band, the Goddamn Gallows. One of them was quoted as saying, this shit would be really good with vodka in it. And so I started pouring vodka that they brought

inside the fancy drinks that they gave me, and by the end of it, I was gone. And that was like the last time I was fighting people, like gone, you know, like they're trying to drive me home. I'm like, fuck you. Alex Potts, a bit of derision. What's going on? What's happening in the world? Oh, it's the lips part of the buttholes. They slept in, man. Yeah.

Do people know you by JD or Jeff Jeff pinkus usually but pink guy someone said pink guy if I was cool from from the butthole surfers and it in schlaps uh Michael I haven't said Jules from the lolly bombs yeah You all played last night and you outlasted us I had to outlast them We got to the beginning of you headlining and when I Let's see if they show up We went to our limit let's see if you can wake up early in the morning to do a

Cheers No you guys are those are your two mics Mike and Jules Yeah, you're on it I don't know that that's true Oh, there's no cameras. Oh fucking great Alright let's do this at our ugliest. And no cameras. We can do still photos to prove we're ugly.

Yeah, we can still. I can prove I'm ugly. Yeah, there's, I put a horchata mini bottle beside the coffee maker for her. Okay, great. I would suggest, how sweet do you like it? And then put in the coffee? I would put a little whiskey in it too.

A tiny little bit of coffee. Okay, so a pochata, a shot of coffee, I can go get it. And a bit of whiskey. Okay, and what would you like? A little hair of the dog. Wow. Coffee. Coffee? Coffee? This is a girl that's partially responsible for my future and she's a damn good waitress and I don't like the coincidence the accident makes The accident makes drinking in the morning so much more palatable If you hear it from me is like oh fuck I'm gonna get fucked up with pinkies in the morning now

But when she says it like that, it's like, you know, yeah Drinking is a Michael bean fights with me about this. Day drinking is completely underrated and there's that even the Sheryl Crow song that's terrible is like he likes a good beer buzz early in the morning. I was talking about that this morning. Yes, that makes you want a day drink. You go, oh, terrible song. Thank you for reminding me that to actually be drunk before noon, just like beer buzz, like Sheryl Crow says, without her breasts or a boyfriend.

I think that there shouldn't even be a delineation. Exactly. I have a story from, we were in Paris once doing a show and we pulled up, and I'd never heard of this before, and I guess it's a thing, the third shift. So the bus parks up, we're way too early to go to the hotel. So we're sitting there, and I think Steven was with me,

and we were sitting there while we can't sleep, looking out the window. We're right next to a bar that's like, wow, that bar is open. That's weird. I was like, could we go? Is that a thing? Is that weird? And then we started seeing people.

Oh yeah. In the Fagal and Paris somewhere. You know, the hotel was down the way. We had this bar and we started, we saw people going in and it was like, well, hey, why don't we go in? And so we went and had, you know, technically third shift people. You're really ruining the name of punk rock with that fucking. I was going to say, about people who are going into a bar you are afraid to go into.

Well then we went. We went and then that changed everything. There was one of them third shift ones out in San Marcos, Texas when I lived out there and there's a lot of factories out there. They opened at seven o'clock in the morning and the first guy that always showed up was this guy BK. So they had the BK special. Whoever showed up first got the BK special. special was a Bloody Mary and a shot of whiskey and and so that was that was

the Starrick special. So that was a they were that was our day drinking spot and they were there for they had shows every day of the week until they closed down it used to be a jackshack it was called Tokyo tan and they didn't actually do that was no jizz in the room. So we did the jizz outside by a hotel over there, but that's where you got your jizz and more. It's an easy room to sell out. Like with a hose or a trowel?

A table for one? Yeah. Another table for one? Yes, we're a Jack Shack. They closed up a Jack Shack on the street near me and it turned into a dentist office. Do you remember when we used to get that dent, the other thing that sucks the vacuum that sucks the spit out, and then they figured out that when you put your tongue over, which you always do, that it would actually get other people spit and shoot it back in your

mouth. And then they had to fucking. Hockatooey. Yeah, Hockatooey. They had to like fix this little defect in there, but I've been getting you know some dental work I don't know if you could tell you know we was after that we should all go over to Mexico and get it cleaned up. Yeah Mouthful of Mexican teeth. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I got a lot of teeth removed in Mexico. That's like an album name.

This is I don't know if you guys met last night, but if you didn't that's Chad shake and Andy and risks from the podcast And you guys are getting out of town. Yeah Yeah, Tarzana, it's won't be out in time to promote. Yeah, that's my last Before I go out for two months, which I'm sure hopefully that the word can get out with no Yeah, well, it's not with the Melvins with Buzz and from the Melvins playing acoustic and Trevor Dunn from Mr. Bungle on his upright bass and I'm open for them for two months. Well that means I basically met the Melvins when I name drop I wanted to be technically accurate through some strain of DNA like an

ancestry.com or a 23 and new. We did an album called Pinkus. Mr. Melvin, go ahead. We did. We did an album called Pinkus Abortion Technician, which was a takeoff of Locust Abortion Technician, my last, my first album I did with the Butthole Surfers and Buzz thought it would be funny as hell to call it that, Pinkus Abortion Technician. So technically I'm a Melvin

I've been on a few albums of this. I'm just in the stable. They have a stable. I'm in the stable Basically me and my podcast Posse are part of the Melvins I feel at this point that we could like the Wu Tang clan where you can worked with the Melvins in production haven't you You've worked with the Melvins in production, haven't you? Have I? Let's just say yes, then. Sure.

They do not look fine on day drinking. The Melvins? No. None of them? Buzz is the straightest dude I've ever met. His wife told him during the pandemic, you should stop doing coffee because he won't mind me saying that. She told him to quit doing coffee because he was getting too annoying and jacked up

on coffee and they stopped doing coffee she goes you can go back to coffee you the same dude without it so he says the drinks coffee now but no cigarettes no nothing does like he's what does he let you see like he's wrong dog is Apple like where he goes I've done a drug test no he thinks my daily mushrooms are killing me and stuff like that we just have a different understanding of what what our bodies work like and and you know what see who's invited to the podcast and who isn't that's what you want to do with your career Melvin he's that buzz. He always have a blast together. He has very good opinions to himself.

No, I'm kidding. He's got great opinions and very opinionated and will tell you everything that's on his mind. And he's the perfect person for a podcast. The buttholes or the lips here, Are there any books out about the bands? Yes. Actually, there is. That's...

Lips? Yes, there is one. There is a lips and yes there is a buttholes. There's a coffee table book that was done by Melodic Virtue. Then we had one that was written by the guy James Byrne. I want one scandalous. Go to hell. And then...

I want to know like weird things that are on your dick. This band, it could be your life, it was totally wrong, but it was very scandalous. And they never interviewed us at all. And everybody tells us stories about it and you got everybody wrong and all the quotes wrong. But yeah, there's stuff out there and now there's going to be a movie

that I was just recording a song with those guys for the happy ending, because we all like happy endings. Can I have you tell a story? Yes, please do. Don't whisper it, though. Tadda the shit girl. Is that, can we talk about Tadda the shit girl? Shit lady, she was not a girl, she was a shit lady.

Tadda the shit lady. Eat the mic, lady. Tadda the shit lady. The shit lady. Tadda the shit lady. Do you know the story? Yes. No, you. Oh, okay, well, so she worked, And all the shit lady shit lady to die yes Okay, well so she she worked we had a girl She actually grew up in Atlanta down down the street from here her dad worked with my dad We didn't know each other until she was in the band though, but she was very

Open dancing like she liked to get naked she didn't shave herself She she put aluminum foil on her teeth and sometimes get upside down on like a little podium and and have a strobe light flashing at her for a while and You know she'd go get seaweed out when we go to LA she put seaweed on and you know piss wands and stuff I should pee into a bat and sprinkling on people. But she started out with, at a place, Sex World, which she went there because Goldie Hawn worked there. Wait, Sex World in Minneapolis? No, New York. And so Goldie Hawn, not that you know,

we won't go into why you know there's a Sex World in Minneapolis. No, actually, I listed it in the credits of my first CD, Sicko, in 1998. I guess, yeah, that's probably a common name anyone could come across. Well, it was a peep show place where people put them. It might have been a franchise.

Captain Rowdy back in the day was like wannabe Dice Clay in that era. And he had a bit, he goes, yeah, go to one of these jack-off booths where you go and you put four quarters in and the slide goes up and there's a live girl there diddling herself. Me, I only put three quarters in

because I like to pretend her head's cut off, but that's just me. So yeah, that was the kind of sex world in Minneapolis and New York. She was kind of like, what happened was her thing was she liked to fart for people. And so someone went in there and she tried to fart but something else came out. Yeah, she turned around. She turned around and she went, ta-dah! Ta-dah! And so the guy went running out and told the lady at the front door what had happened and she goes, we got black girls, we got yellow girls, we got red girls, hell we even got

ta-dah, the shit lady. That's where she got her name from. Ta-dah! She was the naked answer. Let me ask you a question, is this dog working? Then fuck you. Now she's in a gated community in North Carolina. I guess I imagine that some inheritance might have kicked in at that point.

And we're back. Alright. You're west Asheville. And we're back. All right. You're West Asheville and you are an alien. Well, now where are you going to? Where do you know where you're going to? You're a good singer. You're actually a really good singer. I know.

I've been auditioning for both of you. He's actually one of the Melvins. You're on the Ducks in a Podcast. I know I'm auditioning for both of you. He's actually one of the Melvins. Like you're, you're, you're on the podcast. Who's the, who's our third bass player? Cause we got Mike from Nickelback. We got now, you know, the guy from Nickelback's name. Yeah. The cool one that comes on our show.

I need a second to digest. Yeah. You know who? Um, all right. I need a second to digest. Yeah, you know who? All right, I'll throw out Manson. Manson did not appreciate me being friends with Nickelback Mike. I find all of this so fucking amusing because I know nothing about music. When you heard that I say I hate music,

the bit is about how music is the art, music is rape is on my, that's the set list name. But it's the only art form that's mostly against your will. Like it's everywhere in a fucking Dollar Tree, in a fucking elevator, in a fucking Uber cab. You're assaulted by music all the time. And imagine if comedy was played as ubiquitously as music but just

Most comics you hate And what if you're hearing the same thing over and over at least comedy doesn't get stuck in your head Oh, yes, it does. I have a bandmate that I I made the mistake because I can't watch movies I definitely don't watch movies twice. But I gave my buddy, I turned him on to Mitch Hedberg a long time ago. Oh, I do. I think you were going to go there.

One of my fucking faves of all times, and we're all one-liner kings, and that's as long as our attention span goes for. So he was just genius. So I gave him CDs for his birthday, and then it's always driver's choice. so like the same jokes over and over again He's like turn around look at me when he's driving like and do the punchline. Yeah stuff like that You know Edward all right, let's go you start with one and we'll go what?

Mitch Hedberg? I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to do. Go. Whoever. I don't have, I don't. Come up with a different one in 15 seconds. I don't have a girlfriend,

but I know a chick that'd be really upset to hear me say that. That is my favorite. That one is my personal favorite. I did the one that's the most known. What, you got one? Michael Pong, guys. In a comedy contest. Baaah!

All right, Michael's out. Andy's in. In a comedy contest, you have one winner and 15 comics that think comedy shouldn't be judged. Ding ding ding ding ding! An escalator can never become broken, it can only become stairs. Ding ding ding ding! I'm trying to remember the one he does the...

What about... sometimes... Hey, for songwriters, this is for you, sometimes a song can have a very specific meaning to you. Sometimes that meaning... Like, hey honey, remember this song from the night I fucked you in a pet cemetery? That's a fucking deep cut. So we're back. I play loud music a lot and then my neighbor will bang on the wall and I say, there's no

door there. You got to come around. Do you know who the neighbor is? No. Nick DePaulo was the actual neighbor from that joke. Every time they want you to fucking like, hey, we're doing a Mitch Hedberg documentary again And then they tell you uh, I go I don't I have like three stories. I remember but Did you ever get randomly did you get to hang with them? Oh, yeah

We came up kind of together with her one was on her way here now. Lin shotcrop designer should be here by now Oh, that's awesome. Yes, the old Witter Hedberg with all her kookiness. She's the only one that knows Hedberg story and she will not fucking she doesn't want to spill. She doesn't like this. The the interesting parts of it. I don't want people to focus on the heroin. Oh, no, that's kind of what really no one focuses on that. I'm like I lived in an apartment with like I left home at a really young age and I remember when we got like seven of us in a two bedroom apartment and his joke about like, you know, there was

a two one house, this is a three one, I could be here in the kitchen, could be a room and you know, that's totally the way we were. It's like, you know, nobody had their own room. So it was very relatable, you know. I like rice because there's thousands of them. Yeah. If you want, if I want, if I'm hungry and I want 2000 of something. Cottage. I don't know how you said it.

Cheese grater, but it could have been called a sponge ruin. Yeah. I guess we could go on forever with this. And we should. Well, yeah. So now we're segueing into heroin because you guys are all punk rockie, but you last night, I don't know your background. Because he's like a nerd and he also spending their money on drugs and huckers and Michael spending money on books.

Yeah. And that's the funny thing is on Wikipedia, it says that you were hired at the time, the three of you got together, I guess. Yes. There was four of us at that point. Okay, well they say specifically on Wikipedia, which I know is all bullshit, that you were hired not because of your talent,

but because you have punk rock looks, and now you look like you could be a historian. Oh yeah, the Bethesda Naval Hospital. That was my major before I dropped out of college. Oh my gosh, I was so hungover. I was a history major. Oh, shit. Until I dropped out.

Yeah. I joined a weird band. You! I never got to college. You're still the guy. All you have to do in the world is just look like you. And then you just say, whoever you want to do in the world is just look like you and then you just say, whoever you want to be that day in an airport,

you go, yeah, no, I'm the drummer from Pink Floyd. I'm wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt. Yeah, that's where I got the idea. We used to do that. We used to tell people, because we'd be in the airport, and there's butthole servers, and parents would come by with some nice kids

that weren't with them, and they'd be like, so you're in a band? Our kids love music. What band are y'all in? We couldn't tell them, like, you know, we wanted them to go home and excite the kids. No, we'd say R.E.M. because they are like,

we wanna be cutting edge at the time. Yeah. And so they'd go home and they'd go tell their kids and then we met R.E.M. at the airport. It's weird when you pre-judge this dude and then he's also in the Sky Club and first class on your flight and going oh he's probably famous and now I just want to know who he is. Why does he keep scratching sugar bites on his legs? Oh no, when you know someone's famous but you don't know why you want to know right?

Yeah It's boring on a plane. I mean I've been seeing the videos of people You know like like Preston he had to stop drinking for a little bit and raw dog He doesn't smoke weed so raw dog in life is totally like a thing But yeah, I was the people that are raw dog in airplanes like that like this girl She she filmed her mama the raw dogging a whole trip to Europe. She didn't turn the TV on at all, didn't listen to anything. She just kept her eyes open the whole time.

No drinks, no nothing. Just like took it all in. Raw dogged it. Raw dog. Derek, what do you call that breakfast? Uh, uh, a buffet. Uh, it's, uh, uh, it's a, it's going to be a V eight and vodka rocks with a shot of whiskey. And what was that called? Um, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no had a Marion whiskey shot a whiskey thing. Oh, yeah, BK special a BK special. Yeah, I would like one would anyone else like I Became yes They go shout out to Sam Marcus the old Triple Crown no longer I kiss It says a little yeah,, take that in there. Those are the good stuff. But the VA and all that's in there. Good morning, Derek.

Hey, Derek. Have you met? Jeff and Mike and Jules and Chad you might remember from all the many years you've known them very well and Andy. The butthole Belvins. The Flamin' Holes. Flamin' Holes? very well and Andy the butthole Belvins flaming holes Bloody Mary and it's a vodka V8 we have to specify he's recorded it's not like like what about

the history because you're telling Michael had a good history, a Bisbee history story. There's some glass shots in there, but in case... What do you know about it? Bisbee history. Well, there was a... in our... in our... Which we wanted by that. The history. In the awesome bed and breakfast that we stayed at, had this... one of those little Americana

books, you know, where of those little Americana books, you know, where it's Los Angeles, blah, blah, blah. So there was Bisbee. So they were talking about the history of how this all came to be. And I guess when the Spaniards came through first, they had this giant expedition. They were looking for gold and all that. But they had so many people and they, I guess they really didn't know what they were looking for gold and all that but they had so many people and they I guess they really didn't know what they were looking for so they just

Walked right by all this stuff then 300 years later. There's a fort and I guess they had incarcerated some Native Americans and then they some of them escaped and they were heading down to Mexico and a group of 15 soldiers went after them and they came heading down to Mexico and a group of 15 soldiers went after them. And they came down here and I don't know why it's like Castle Rock seems to be like this major thing. There's a hotel there now, but I guess... One of our regulars on the podcast and at the house is Castle Rock Kenny. So when you say Castle Rock, he's known as Castle Rock Kenny. So when you said it looks like Castle Rock, he's known as Castle Rock Kenny because when he was a speed freak meth head, he went up there and threatened to jump off and there was like a whole suicide squad. I guess there was a spring there

or something, a little river. So they're looking for any evidence of these escaped Native Americans, which seemed like, why not just let them go? It just seems weird. But anyway, but they saw something. One of the guys went to go fill up with water and came back to where they were camped and said, hey, I saw this weird mineral outcrop

that I guess is indicative of gold and silver nearby. So they were like, okay, now we have to keep this all quiet and run up to Tucson. What are you gonna do, get me in on the radio! This is a history, a shorter one. Ah! Hey, I'm just playing into the whole hungover thing here. Oh, I was hangover. I once masturbated on Mary Lincoln's grave but it was the wrong Mary Lincoln. I bet she felt it.

It was a stepdaughter. It was all mental and dangerous. Hang on, hang on. They don't know Andy. Andy's like a, he calls it nature jacking. Andy's a big proponent. But there was an eclipse once, eight years ago, let's say, and you jerked off on like Mamie Eisenhower.

No, it was Betty and Gerald Ford. I was down from there. Okay, it was Michigan. Oh yeah, that's right. You were there too. Yes. Not a Gerald Ford's grave. Now the story is getting good. You were there too. Yes. Yeah, not.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Not at Gerald Ford's grave during this time. Now the story is getting good. I was also in Michigan when this happened. Be clear when you tell these stories. Nobody ever asks Andy where you've been anymore. When you're on the road and he just like, why would you like go out that exit

like in the middle of a conversation? I would totally ask. Yeah, but it's always, well then you'd ruin his podcast. I wanna know these things. Oh, gotcha. I well then then you'd run this podcast. I'm curious man. I never went to college. He doesn't just jack off on something. Actually mostly I mean the Mary Lincoln thing was because I stole drugs from a weird dude

who had anxiety and shit but he put Cialis in his Xanax so I pop one of those and I'm staying with people that had a bunch of kids so this must have been happened to him a lot he was like you know what I'm gonna do? So then I'm popping the wood and I end up. That way you can see outside dude and be like oh you're the one stealing my fucking pills. It's like when they put a paintball in the bank bag when you rub the bank. I call it thinning the prescription. I don't like my fucking pills. It's like when they put a paintball in the bank bag when you rub the bank. I call it thinning the prescription. I don't like the term stealing.

Oh, so I got on the, I left this house and I had the jerk off somewhere and I got to Arlington National and I remember William Howard Taft's grave. I forgot how narrow his headstone was. So, and then, because nobody stops to see William Howard Taft's grave, I forgot how narrow his headstone was. And then, because nobody stops to see William Howard Taft even though he's just downhill from the Kennedys, the dead ones. They're not another punk rock name.

Have you ever been to a Macon, Georgia? Like Dwayne Almond? No, but when Jimmy Carter dies, I plan on going out that way to keep my perfect streak. I love Jimmy Carter. Yeah, I would jack off on this. I tried twice to get Bingo up, but she's like, my head's not good. And I go, it's all right. They're not here yet.

But I just want you to know, okay, second, because you're going to wish you were here. And she will. She'll go, you should have woken me up. I did twice But nature jacking is a less toxic version of that or I just you know pleasure myself on a Jack off just slowly Oregon Beach Early bird gets the load I shoot on a crab. The first time we heard about it, we used to have these parties in Death Valley at the Panamint Springs is the name of this very remote resort. We have quotations resort.

It's just a 15 room motel. And he goes out with his brother. They go to this hike to this ghost town. To Panamit City. It's up in the mountains. Yeah, the point is, and then in conversation, that's not the point of the conversation when he gets back. He says, yeah, we're, and you go through and there's a little ghost town and you're no, and I went into one little like half,

it didn't have a roof I jacked off in there. My brother, Dan, is over here. That's not, that comes in as like, it's not a focal point. When you walk into an old whore house in a ghost town and you pay respect. That's true. So you feel like the BK special will be us paying respect

to a whore house in San Marcos, Texas. My brother happened to be down on the other side of the town It wasn't a you know, was he doing it? Knowing the story It was I thought it was a Specials in fact, I was gonna send Derek to BK to get you guys breakfast tacos Because again, I've been up since 2 30 in the morning cheese No, no, we ate and I know I know you didn't and I wanted but

It was you get him here for drinks or send him for tacos. So I went with the. So should I? So should I reply to Jimmy to keep the sound people? Hang on. Oh, keep Jimmy on. Yeah, James. But let's not let's not commingle that.

It's yeah, it was a funny idea earlier. But we have a beef with an internal friend thing though you know maybe they could judge it but it's like that's too much now a lot of it we're having a good tweet that you know we're talking about yesterday yeah it's a it's a long story yeah it's funny to have many details hey we've got a jury here what did you call a jury then combined combined name? Oh the the the but lip And then have him tell his side of it, but it's just fucking too much if the buttholes had labia's Confort calm for one minute and just

Yeah, just put them on speakerphone for one minute and go, Hey, we can't talk right now. I'm name dropping you in this beef that you are not a part of. You guys are going to have no context on this whatsoever, but it'll still be funny. A completely unknown comic. Oh, did you mean unhinged? Is it on speaker? I'm just going to stall and what? I'm still working on this. Here. All right. Does it speak? Yep. Dude. What? Hey, Inman, we've run the whole thing past. You're on a podcast with the both.

Shut the. I didn't call you. Shut your banana. Why did you post that stuff on Reddit and Twitter? Hey, you're on a podcast with both the flaming lips and the butthole surfers in the middle. One at one of each. There.

Yes. There's a's Michael Ivans from the Flaming Lips and Jeff or JD. However you find. Yeah. So they're gonna judge whether you're right or wrong.

As you're, these are the guys you listen to. You wanna say hi to James? But I do have all the flaming lips albums and I do have what's your favorite song? From what the flaming lips? Yeah. Well,pering with the jury. The soft bulletin is the best. If you say Pembroke about the butthole surface, I'm gonna... You're fucking with me, Doug, because you're not talking to Flaming Lips. You fuck with me all the time.

Michael Ivins. How would I name drop Michael Ivins from the Flaming Lips if I was going to name drop someone? How could... Where would I pick that? I don't know You can't be this guy is the guy from the butthole surface, you know pinkies. That's the other guy Jules and then there's Chad Shack and Andy Andrist and we're having a morning. Yo, Jesus someone's called

ignore Why did I just argument between us? No, no, honey. It's funny because your dad, your dad emailed me, you're a 60 year old man. And your dad emailed me saying that I stole cancer charity funds. I have to respond. You literally did steal from a cancer benefit, Doug. I really did? You said shit.

I took over the phone. We said, I said to you over the phone, we're going to split the money up four ways. We're going to split the door four ways. That's how. Okay. I'm going to do you stop talking and I'm going put it to the band Bulls there's three judges here celebrity judges Jules Michael Jeffrey He's I said I'll be on your podcast if you pay for my travel He said I'll start a go fund me so that he made

$1,200 then he turned the podcast into a live show using my name at a club that the owner specifically told me, don't you say a word. Inman was booked there and they had to cancel because he didn't sell a single ticket. So he turned what should have been this into a paid event where my name is on the fucking billboard and now he wants a quarter of that and all of the fucking GoFundMe that was to pay for my travel.

You're losing a lip, Dan. I got him to sign here. He says Pepper on my toe down here. I'll tell you. You want to know my favorite, I can't pronounce the game, but I love the revolution song. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's good. I'm on Jimmy's side.

Jimmy, I'm on Jimmy's side too. I mean, I don't know. I need a pencil. I need a pencil. You just won there, James. You just won. I won what? Two of the three judges sat there on your side.

You gave that butt hole a surfer song. Cheers, y'all! Jimmy! Dr. Whiskey! 30 in the morning. Jimmy! It's not your whiskey! It's not your whiskey! I was on acid the day I got married listening to that album. I can't pronounce the name. He's telling me it's pronounced P-O. You either, no don't tell him. If you don't come up with that pronunciation.

Oh, then I might have to go back to Doug. Yeah, yeah. We'll tell you more. We'll answer the problem. Actually took four of us to make that song title. It was la la la la la. Is that Tequila? We got. We got a lot of evidence.

All right, James, I'll tone down on the Reddit. But. It's T-I-O-U-T-H-P. That's the one, dude. It's a revolution. Your phone works fast. I know. You don't have headphones, or you'd hear him telling you how to pronounce it.

It was... You'll listen to the podcast. Hey, get on the top shelf of my Patreon and we'll be glad to serve you. It's great talking to you. What a douchebag. That album title, though, I have to say, was from throwing a sock at a keyboard from across the room, and that's why no one could pronounce it. That's how I moved to Idaho. Really? that's the only way you move to Idaho yeah actually I like Idaho it was it was a fortuitous move but you're not only through a dart at a map from one of those what was that finger hut or one of those places you can get like goofy shit just Sky Mall that was yeah Sky Mall was

like it was like a magazine yeah that was like you have any finger hut was like the Columbia house of gadgetry for your office really feels like disturbing to hear the name finger hut it's like tongue holster or something. It's like, who would name something a finger hut? You guys have had a, I think that both of you, both of your fucking resumes, you guys have some. As a kid, we would call it finger butt

because we thought that was hilarious, but it never occurred to me that finger hut is even more hilarious. I mean, even my mom's got a finger hut. Yeah, yeah. Well, then there's all those gas stations called come and go. Yeah. And it's spelled weird. those gas stations called Come and Go. Yeah.

And it's spelled weird. And their bathrooms are smelly, too. If A&P mixed up with Stop and Go, it would be Stop and P. Doug, I was thinking we should put together a package of prizes for James. Like the Fleming Lips have offered a bucket hat signed the 900. No, you lost on that one, but you did win the argument consolation prize. And we're back. I got pictures from this way before they, while this is in play,

because I think as soon as we call quits, everyone's running for the hills. This is, but we gotta describe what this place looks like in here to the people that can see this. Yeah, take some video. It looks like an In-N-Out that doesn't serve food. Take some video. It looks like an In-N-Out that... Who's got an iPhone? A dozen sort of food. It's like it's set up for the homeless can't sleep in it. Do you have an iPhone?

Yeah, take some footage. It's technically this free. The Hitching Post, we have to give a big plug to for getting you guys in here. Yeah, what's your roots? What's your Bisbee roots? How did you know them? How did you find who found who? I used to come out here when I spent like nine months in Arizona and I love Bisbee. Never played shows. Didn't know there was a place I could even do my weird shit at and then I was on tour with Scotty Byron and we played the quarry out here and it was

great place except for loading gear eight feet in the air. It's a very awkward stage and I don't think they'll fix it. Plumber bud is going on you know after 40 days of wearing the same pair of jeans you know the shit's gonna start falling down but yes that was a little awkward and then I was coming back through and the Hitchin' Post they've been running it for I guess three and a half years four years years now, somewhere around there. So they were game for some weird banjo stuff, you know what I'm saying? And this is what I was bucket hatting.

This is what you do, you greet it, the social media shit. So do the great shit you do. Yeah, don't get my face. Well, that's, yeah, that's why you get the bucket hats. So now I hope to always be here. Like I think once a month I'm going to talk to them about it, but I'm going to fly out from North Carolina once a month and do a Tuesday show at six o'clock in

the evening. That's where I told them about it. Yeah. Jen and Jen and are from Asheville. Do they still go back there? Oh, yeah. Are they still go back there? They what they used to be No Jen from Shady Dell Bartender and her girlfriend wife. I don't know if they're married

Yeah her girlfriend wife I don't know if they're married yeah all right knows is this shady does still kick him cuz when I came down here like yeah like it's all corporate shit now okay so 24 years kidding kidding the airstreams are upgraded that was a cool place shut that door you Shut that door. You're killing me. I had friends that stayed there. I stayed at one of the haunted places and one of my buddies brought his girlfriend down and they stayed in one of the rooms that there were six bullet holes in and she made him leave in the middle of the night and go to the best Western. They got different rooms. Me and my woman at the time we were just drunk and having fun with it and we did see a door closed at a different you

know in the different part of the place that no one was around so there's definitely some weird shit going on but we were weird shit going on too if I said this place is haunted too and occasionally during the podcast I went like that you go did you hear? There was I I've been in here and done bumps in the night But the fire dancers were fantastic with the hula hoops last night? Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, it was a competition. Oh my god.

Yeah, that girl is very pleasing to look at. Sometimes she gets sore. Doug said she's player coaching. Oh, it's Suzanne. Yeah, when Suzanne was next to the young, really, really extraordinarily hot chick. So when a dude- I said it's a player coach situation like slap shot is doing People get oh when you're when you get a young woman and you're grooming her. Yeah grooming. I was

Yeah, so this is like a grooming thing. You're talking about going on No, no, no, I was talking about a woman who's in the same profession Like the Brittany Griner of the dream team in the US Olympics. I would smoke weed with Brittany Griner, but I would not groom her. I fucking, hey, how would you deal with this? I went to, it was last year I'm playing the Comedy Store,

and right before we're about to start the show, the manager comes in and he goes, yeah, Mike Tyson is gonna be in the room tonight. And I'm like, fuck, they're like, whoa. I have my set together and now I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, I'm like, fuck. And the whole time I'm like looking, and the comedy story is legendary

for you're not able to see the audience. And I'm like, what if I see see should I do jokes about him or not and I like fucked up my hole and then afterwards they go yeah he he got too high is how doing a promotion with this new star-struck was my. I drugged that out. But have you ever like Someone's in the crowd and now it's fucking with your head. So so I can ask you a question This is joke. I want to start doing but I didn't write the joke, but I want to incorporate it kind of my own way Now, what is the comedic lie? Okay

so if I don't know who did it do I ask who did the first joke of it? Because I wanted to do one because my mom was still alive and we'd like to talk. And so I was like, we're walking, which she doesn't like to do. And I was like, can I smell your pussy? And she goes, she goes, must be your feet then. Yeah, so who did that joke first? Nobody knows. can I smell your pussy and she goes she goes must be your feet then yeah so nobody

knows those like a him or him like the aristocrat I have a dream. Ask not what you did. Like, who wrote those fucking jokes? Because I hate when fucking presidents get lauded or shit on for whatever they said in a speech where they didn't write it. So where's the like, there should be fucking credits at the end of the news. Like you didn't write that. You read it off a teleprompter Who's the dude?

Exactly, so sorry comedy though. That's like I mean like what you would never say that joke laugh because you know That's not your joke, but it's someone else. Yeah, you don't know you can't incorporate in your own Joe do you want do you want to hear a parable of this? Exact story that I still have in my notes where it's a moral quandary. I was in a bar in Philadelphia playing helium comedy club and there's during the day and watching football and this blowhard that won't shut the fuck up at the end of the bar. He accidentally says something hilarious and I go I'm fucking stealing that

because he doesn't know that's funny. He's like, what? And I was like, and I went on stage that night and I tell, hey, I heard a guy say this but I'm stealing it from him because I'm sure it was an accident. And he was a fucking asshole. And he said, well, I had to rewrite it a bit

and touch it up and punch it up, but it was about when I die, I want my body scattered on all these stages of places that I played across the country that I hated and I don't want to be cremated. What's funny is my mama says she don't want to be cremated because it's too final. My two biggest fears in life. I know she didn't know she wrote that one. My dad outlived two of his legs and my brother didn't want to have him cremated because he'd go, you know, whatever, up to fucking heaven or whatever.

But it's like his dead legs have already been cremated. So I just picture him up in heaven with this soft stump going around. They call him Stumpy. Oh, they did, yeah. Stumpy needs some change, man. He was in the hospital and he was hard to move because he was basically a bean bag chair towards the end. And it took a whole squadron of nurses and some guy, one of them said, what a bag of flesh or something like that. And we're going, no, aren't we all really?

I was talking about last night to somebody, I was explaining, I live between Meth Mountain and Pillbilly Hill. And I've got Skinny Mike and Fat Mike, and me and my wife have hand signal, I know there's no camera in here, but like Fat Mike is this, if we see him it's like the M with the thumb up, and then the pinky for Skinny Mike, I can't do it.

Yeah, we got gang signs for him, you know, if we see him. But Skinny Mike. I can't do it. Yeah, we got gang signs for him. You know, for him. But Skinny Mike is Fat Mike's dad. And so, you know, they've been, and then CJ is the uncle. He just got out of jail. And, but, but, but CJ, CJ is the Fat Mike.

This is the stuff they edit out of jail. In syndication. It's gold. I know. So Mike and CJ both OD'd about three weeks apart from each other. Okay, so the story is my neighbor wants them all dead. I don't mind them getting the cantaloupes and shit, you know. So they feel bad for us because we live in a church that's 100 years old at the bottom of the hill. They're like, oh, we got to bring the camera. This is not on your Wikipedia page at all. No, not at all.

So after CJ survived his OD thing, Fat Mike had his one. And I see all the cops going up the hill, because we got one way. You're not talking about Fat Mike, no FX. No, no, no. All right. No, no. I like this guy better than that one.

All right. Let's be sure. Like, if I missed that part, I would feel. I don't know that guy. I would be not. He tells people what he thinks punk rock should be, and I think that's the worst thing ever, is someone telling their bands that are on their label what punk rock is, because punk rock is no

one telling you what the fuck you're doing about anything. It's so if he is anyone who says, you know, a true Muslim or two, if you're really a national, ever don't say like, yeah, I'm not a true Muslim, I believe the wrong kind. But so let's get back to fat Mike. I'm not a true Muslim. I believe the wrong kind but You tell history stories But he's not a hillbilly but he's up there and he's right next to him and he's like I want them all to die I'm like that's really fucking mean man. You shouldn't want them all to die man. They're really not they bring me cantaloupe and shit You know I mean like they're feel sorry for us You didn't have to use bad language with the F-word

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know that was that cracker No, it's him You don't have to fucking No, he does that and so like we have a road that just goes up. It's like we use it both ways. It's kind of like the asshole. It's not supposed to go one way, but it does, you know So we got we got all these cops The fire trucks and all that I'm like Billy you all right up there and he's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it's fat Mike He OD'd I'm like, I'm like, Billy, you all right up there? And he's like, oh yeah, yeah, that's Fat Mike, he OD'd. I'm like, did he live?

And he goes, unfortunately. And he goes, how many people, he goes, how many cops does it take to lift Fat Mike? Like it was a joke. And I was like, I don't know. And he goes, eight apparently. That's my life up in the mountains up here in West Asheville. My brother Larry's, you remind me of my brother Larry if Larry didn't lean into the meth

pipe all those years and burn his brain out in storytelling. I was doing hot rails with the banditos on knives, you know, like in the Honky Hilton band place, but I'm over that now. What's the Fat Mikey sign? The Fat Mikey sign and the Skinny Mikey sign. Okay, but I do want to know, are you going to do the print call thing? When does that start? Yes, with... are you leading me into plugs? Of shows that I wouldn't not. Isn't that the best? She Wikipedia'd you.

Well I'm actually. I have somebody that you can prank. I'll be up at Coot's Augusta. Oh hang on. She says we could prank. We can do it right now, can we? We could prank Michael. And she will facilitate it.

And you know what? If you told me this on the biggest podcast in the fucking world. Issues? I would still. Issues with Andy. Issues! Or Are You Garbage? We're going to do, by the way, this is a breaking news.

The Are You Garbage podcast. I want to do so badly because every time I see someone like, have you ever like eaten food off a room service tray when you're drunk walking by? That stuff, yeah. And it's my childhood. I'll be honest, I've never actually watched

a whole episode. I just see a lot of, and I want to do it, and I've met them and they said, anytime you're in New York, and I will never go to New York again, because it's a fucking awful, shit hole. Thank you. Second only to London.

I will, I will, I will, I will double that. So we're going to do at least one episode of, am I garbage? And steal their entire thing because I won't go, but I will give them, hey, here's a Zoom link if you want to join in on my version about me of your show. It saves it. It's you know, it saves fossil fuels.

Flying all the way to New York. Let's call. You're just doing your part, man. You're just doing your part. Cool thing is, let's call Chris. Oh, no, but you got call up your... Drug dial? Drug dial someone. Telemarketing. You don't know anyone who knows me.

But do I get to drug dial someone? Yeah, drug dial someone. He's cussing the telemarketers out. He will cuss them out. Someone who knows, well, anyone who knows me. I kinda wanna call James and tell him what he won. Let me talk to my own staff over here, my writers room, my company triads.

I thought of this and I told someone to write it down. But what if we do, we renew celebrity death pool, but it's not necessarily celebrities, it's peoples who you have in your phone. Because we can all trust each other not to, we're not James Inman where we'll get a cry If it's someone in your phone you have a death pool last for a year you do it Annually and you pick 20 celebrities, but that's the problem Celebrities this is a definitive way.

I don't know who I'd have as a celebrity on my phone. No, it doesn't have to be a celebrity. It just has to be someone in your phone. So there's no gray area about what a celebrity is. Do you feel bad like you are, when you look up you on the flaming lips on Wikipedia, you are one of the few that are highlighted that actually has a Wikipedia page. Do you ever shame the other guys? Are not hyperlinked?

You're not hyperlinked. My figure of 38 years entitles you to something. What's your Instagram presence? I'm an Instagram person. How many people do you have on MySpace nowadays? I did MySpace for a while. The favorite thing I had on MySpace is... That was my favorite social media.

Yeah, it was mine too. You could pick people. Were you MySpace? You could have like 20 best friends, and then for Black History Month I'd have... I'd just post flying the 20 black people I had out of 20,000. But do you remember Friendster? Ah, no, I never did that one. See, that was a weird one.

What is that? Sorry, what is that? I was like, I think it would be a great app to have an app called Friendster. Like, it's already been done. Oh, yeah. There was a comic friend of ours who was an old cantankerous guy, Drew Hastings, and our friend Henry Phillips

kept, oh, he was always late. Like you gotta get on MySpace, man. And I don't wanna get on any of this shit. And he'd talk him into it and like, alright. Oh well, yeah, MySpace is dead. Now you have to get on Facebook. It's just like when the planet starts dying, we'll be like, everybody's spread out.

And then it'll be like everybody's headed this way eventually we're all gonna meet in the middle and have a big fucking farewell party but drew hastings he keeps doing this like getting angry or as he's like sent to a new and now it's Facebook he goes oh you're you're you're you're on Twitter oh yeah no one's on Twitter? Oh yeah, no one's on Twitter anymore. Is that James? I've got Gibby on the phone. I'm doing a podcast with Doug Stanhope. Speakerphone. You mind being on speakerphone for a second?

Listen, we're all hungover. He said no problem. It's better to ask for forgiveness. You don't have to at all. I just. I heard. Are you busy right now? Everyone heard along.

Get on my phone. Yeah. We always do. Okay. All right. He said from Stanhope he'll do it. Give me a high. Give me a high.

All right. This is Gibby right here. If you have any questions. Hi, Gibby. It's Doug Stanhope and our crew is Andy Andrews. Oh, hey. Give me a high. Give me a high. All right, this is Gibby right here. If you have any questions. Hi, Gibby. It's Doug Stanhope, and our crew is Andy Andrist and Chad Schenck, and the whole Jeff or JD. We can't get a fucking solid answer.

You'll call me fucking Pinkus, all right? Pinkus. Pink guy. Yes. Pink guy in pink hats. Yeah, pink ass words, too. Yes. The fucking head tribute. You guys might as well be some kind of weird African tribe.

Ha! That's here and just clicks and pops. No, no, no, no. I have no idea what's going on here. We have one guy that has a touch of color. Bad ass. Close to me. It's hard to tell out in Arizona if somebody's black or they're

just homeless in the Sun Now either you in Dallas, where are you? Oh Jesus New York is in Brooklyn, Virginia Virginia did you send math? I'm on a cool street because a vendor friend of mine, Puerto Rican vendor, used to live on the street is called Havemeyer but because he was Puerto Rican it was pronounced Hadrum major. Just saying. I'm trying to put that math together. He's a wonderful vendor. He loved plants. He had millions of house plants. I'm not going to say millions, but he had

100 house plants. Were they succulents? Every plant is succulent when you nature jack. But I'm a fan. I'm a fan. Yeah, succulents are easy to take care of. Gibby, I'm a little bit high and I think my friends might be where,

when you're on speakerphone, we keep yelling into our microphones where we should be just yelling into the phone. Am I correct on that? I know, Gabby. Andy's interest is you. Sure, I can all of a sudden I can fucking hear you.

Of the zingers moments. Oh, you can hear him? Yeah, okay, yeah. He's not talking at the mic now. Am I talking to Doug Stanhope? Yes, you're talking to Doug Stanhope. No, I'm not. But my two comrades are also really funny

and they're chiming in, but you can't hear them because you're just on a speaker phone. Oh, God damn it. And I'm really high. And they haven't figured out that yelling into their microphone that's 10 feet away is not a good thing. I do it. What should I pull?

Am I doing the bad thing? Okay. Let's talk to the audience over here. Yeah, I forget, there's two parts to this. Yeah, I got him in my microphone. I got him in my microphone. Where's the guy? Well, you forgot one part and podcast and the phone call. I got him in my microphone. Where's the sound guy? You know, I might have to... Well, you forgot one part and I forgot the other part.

I know, I know, I know Stan Hope is the funniest fucking guy in the world. But, but I gotta go to my Google to figure out what the fuck he looks like. Then I'll go, oh, that guy. He used to look like Booger from The Nerds. Yeah, that... He used to look like Booger from The Nerds. Yeah. He used to look like a booger? You gotta listen to his stand-up. Yeah, he said Booger from some movie called Nerds.

We didn't watch movies. Why did you say that? Yeah, it was kind of hard for us to decipher. No, I used to get that all the time, yeah, when I had hair. You gotta talk about the fire and then the nudity, the two things. Did I hear a girl's voice say nudity? Yeah.

Are you naked where you're at right now? The fire. Michael Iman women can't suck it. And the nudity. Gibby, there's a guy here that likes to jack off in nature, and he's got a whole podcast about it. What have you jacked off on? Nature might be sidewalks. What have you jacked off on? I know you touched your testicles to

Jimmy Carter's beautiful wife's luggage. But, yeah. So, other than that, what have you jacked off on? Well, first of all, yes, I am absolutely sure that my

I don't know, penis molecules have indirectly touched everything. But. That's true. They've affected my life personally, I know that. Yeah. It's the way we roll. What was the question?

The question was, have you ever jacked off on anything really special? Oh, well... I used to have a joke where I said that. Not a person, not a person. I used to have a joke where I said I want to come on her face just to ruin her makeup. It was special, right? Until the point. So what was the most famous landmark you ever did? Like you know,

jacked off on it. Like, you know, we have Andy here, he's jacked off on all kinds of shit. I'm pretty tough competition because I jerked off under the Gerald and Betty Ford's graves. I started wanking off. You got the wrong Mary Todd Lincoln. He jacked off on the wrong one. Well here's the problem is I had a medical problem and I needed to jack off and I thought William Howard Taft's grave was wider. They used to leave cupcakes on it when I'd visit DC and it's very narrow but you don't expect the trolley to stop there but there were other William Howard Taft enthusiasts there that day and they wandered up the path so I had to run down with an erection past the trolley and then I just ended up at a grave.

Next to a bunch of little leaguers. Well here I'll finish it well I finished it there but it was like a very... He didn't finish. I'm right here. He did not finish. It was a very hot day and I thought maybe I'm gonna have a heart attack and die but I gotta come. I was overdosing on Cialis unintentionally and I didn't want to look at the grave but it was a very shaded big tree and a nice area to just jerk off and I soaked up the atmosphere and then I didn't want to know whose grave I was jerking off on and they walked around the other side and I saw I was Mary Lincoln in it I hear two things. There's two things that are big here. Yeah, one is that you're a you're an attack Jacker That's a hard way to say nature Jack You take Cialis to get off to Jack off no no

There's a good story behind that. We just talked about that. I thought I was taking a Xanax to go down to sleep and uh... You knew the backstory on the entrance. He just told us. He told us the backstory. He said that someone spiked the uh, the uh, the shit with Cialis.

He thought he was getting Xanax and he got Cialis instead. And so, he started making them spot him when he was out there like you're the fucking motherfucker going through my drugs. Look at your boner. I was the godfather of one of these. There was like five girls all different ages, but they were all like cheerleader to Taylor, little Taylor Swift or whatever. And they were I had to leave the house.

I had to get out of that house. So I ended up at Arlington National like a guy does. So here's the here's the fun punch line. Now, should we? Go ahead. When I saw, well, I had a hot load of cum in my hand, and it's very dry out there. So I was like trying to spider it off or whatever, you know?

Like the inmates do, you know, to get better service or whatever. Did you say spider? And I saw it was Mary. Spider, spider. But I saw it was Mary Lincoln's grave and then I reached into my pogo with the other hand and all I had was a $5 bill,

which I thought it was the husband and I wiped my cum on it and I left it as a tribute to Mary because Abe would never come near her, but it was actually the daughter-in-law anyway. She beat the shit out of him so Abe would never come near her but it was actually the daughter-in-law anyway. She beat the shit out of him so he would never come near her. Yeah, she was a tough dog. So, Gibby, I got one more question, man.

You guys are history buffs. Yeah, no, that's it. I got one more question for you. You know, there's all those things like LOL, like laugh out loud, or laugh my ass off, or if you know, you know. But I remember my favorite one you came up with and I used it many times and it was you and Teresa walking by I think you were going to Kirby Lane and and you walked by a turd on the ground and and you said OHT and she said what's that and you said, what's that? And you said, obvious human turd. And that always stuck with me.

So I said, LOL, I still use OHT. You down with OHT? Hey, Doug, are you down with OHT? You down with OHT? Yeah, you a mommy! Never name your son Otten. And never name your daughter Kimberly Clark. Give me a second, I wanna start a chain of whatever

where people our age, this is almost last call. And at seven a.m. it opens and by 12.30 everyone get the fuck out, noon. Yeah, go back to bed Yeah, five minutes to finish the drink no is the fuck out of here all day long When's the last time you talked to Johnny that cunt hasn't called me since the fucking trial Did you oh, yeah, everybody wants me to like call Johnny Everyone used to want me to call Johnny. I know his sister really well. Yeah, I know That was really hard. I know a lot of stuff.

But anyway, I got to go. My kid is getting out. He's scooting out. Gross. So Sashmo and Missy, I said hi. Love you, man. Gibby is an honor. I was a fan then.

I wasn't now. All right. Gibby. Love you, dude. Later, man. Thanks, man. Hey, Gibby. I do believe you said if I was a fan then I wasn't now.

Yes. That's fucking gorgeous. And he's never said that before. It was completely off the cuff. If I heard it from someone else though because that's how we learn shit. Must be your feet. You guys want to just keep drinking till Lynn Shacroaf gets here and then make her play the bitchhead Berg I don't know how that game ended

Doug's and how podcast this is the name of the podcast, correct?