The Doug Stanhope Podcast - DAY 11 - #TinCanRehab

Episode Date: March 1, 2015

DAY 11A daily podcast following Doug's self-imposed rehab to quit smoking. Doug meets the potential neighbors and takes more money from a listener for doing almost nothing.Support the podcast with a donation or purchasing some Stanhope merch. Recorded Feb 27, 2015 at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Links-PELDMA PODCAST - http://bit.ly/1LYnZXw Intro music "30 Days In The Hole" by Humble Pie. Closing song “Welcome Back" by John Sebastian. Both available on iTunes.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

🎵 Black Napolese, you got your weak in your knees. See some dust that you've got bust on. You know it's hard to believe. Party games in the hall. 🎵 Gypsies, trans-anthes, call them gypsies. We had to do the podcast a bit earlier than the bright sunlight. What's it, 2 o'clock in the afternoon? 2.09. Yes, it's 2.09 because I had to wake up and do some business because Brian Hennigan does not respect the sanctity of what is supposed to be rehabilitation. In a fucking trailer. I thought you were going to say retirement.

And retirement. It's a double negative. I know. I'm supposed to be reading. I'm trying to do Bokrum yoga in my hot trailer. Brian Hennigan has me on a goddamn conference call with a big wig from another side of the business. And then orders came down from on top you might because brian knows me when brian sets up interviews he'll tell them oh well you

should well you're calling from the uk so you should probably call around uh this time how late are you up because uh he's not uh when he's in his pints, he's a little more loose. But I got. Yeah, I got orders from up top to. Yeah, this is a very important phone call. So you might want to have a mimosa. I could look it up a medically induced or something. I don't know. He said it in a clever way.

But then I had to tell the kids, Chaley, Tracy. Charlie sent down word to the angels. We're supposed to have mimosas at 1215. Get to get this conference call all nailed. Knock a few back. Did not. I had fucking my drink was sitting on top of the drawer with the sneaky cigarettes. And I thought when I found out I had to do this thing, I'm like, I'm not in a place to.

Yeah. All right. I start smoking at 12 30 tomorrow for this conference call and i end shortly after but i did not but i did have more mimosas than two so now we're doing now we're doing the podcast to try to stay somewhere in the realm of this is not way off the rails as i'm doing the conference call as it's just beginning the way our little uh safe house i hate to say compound because that puts a picture in people's heads of some massive estate one of the houses the house right behind the Black Knob House, beside the Suicide Whiskey Girl Nowhere Chaley House,

is for sale for wicked cheap. And just as I'm starting this conference call, Tracy says, oh, those people that were looking at it are back. And we had already planned, we've talked about it on here, about just putting up some creepy shit to scare away people from buying that place unless we know them and we can vet them because any a conversation this loud i have in my own kitchen could be heard in the neighbor's kitchen in that house just by them having nothing to do and no tv on they go oh well let's just listen to stanhope and bingo stanhope talks baby talk did

you know that that's all he done when it's just the Bingo. Stan Hope talks baby talk. Did you know that? That's all he does when it's just the two of them. He just talks baby talk and makes fart jokes. That's all he does. Makes fart sounds and he dances like a weirdo. Yeah, you think Stan Hope's really edgy? He's very much somewhere between Tim and Eric and that annoying show on the fucking Comedy Central

with the three dudes. Every one of them is fucking annoying. And you know they're really annoying like that in real life. And I'd punch any one of them in the face. What is it, Trace? Workaholics. Workaholics. You know those guys, especially the main guy.

You know he's not different than that. I've met that guy a million times in my career, and he's never any different than that. Who's the main guy? The tall one? No, no. The bushy hair? No, no. Oh, the squatty, like, peppy-looking dude.

Right. You know that guy's exactly like that. Fucking theater guys. Not theater, but improv. Sketch comedy guys. I've drank with that guy at a bar. He had a different name every time. He was a different age.

He was always that guy. So anyway, we can keep going with that if you want. I know your disdain for that show is pretty deep. No, I love that show because Bingo hates it so much that I watch it on purpose. Just that's the show is Bingo going. This is not even funny. This stupid. No, don't put that on purpose. Just that's the show is bingo going. This is not even funny.

This stupid. No, don't put that on again. And yeah, so I enjoy, but she's not always going to understand that when you love a show, it's not for that reason. When you really love a show. That's how I get hooked on Always Sunny. I was kind of tepid on Always Sunny in Philadelphia at first, and Bingo hated it so much that I would watch it on purpose to the point not only did I love it, she loved it.

That will never happen with workaholics. No. That's just fucking... So you're fake loving it. Three annoying guys that couldn't be... The long-haired guy could probably be cool and hang around here, but the other two, especially the main guy, douche. Yeah, he would just always be trying to be funny

and always failing. And these people show up at the house that's for sale that we tried to, we had all, we were going to put the gay pride, white power posters in the window facing that house with the rainbow swastika. We never get around to doing a lot of the things we talk about on the podcast. We never get around to doing like taking pictures for the motherfucking website. But that's how you're busy with your merch.

What? The fucking pictures. We're supposed to do pictures with the cat and the gun and then to do the vine thing. We're supposed to do pictures every day. We had a lot of plans. I wasn't that zombied last night. These people, they're cool. We've met them before.

I don't remember it, but they reminded me. And they know a lot of people that we know. And they don't have kids, number one. And I'm like, all right. So I go down and I try. I'm into my mimosas at this point. So I'm selling the house. I'm helping the buyers.

I'm helping the realtor. I'm the buyers. I'm helping the realtor. I'm qualifying them. I'm asking them about their income. No one knows where you're coming from. Who's this guy working for? I'm telling them where to lowball. I told them how we fucking got that house. No, fuck that price.

Here's what you do. And we're going to put this in. Let's crank open these windows. It's going to get, yeah, I'm real. So I bring them over here no one wants to have cocktails with me it was odd when you told the realtor hey look lowball this douche she doesn't know what she's doing it's like doug i said go 40 65 they want 65 for this piece of shit you don't know what's going wrong underneath sir yeah i am. I am the realtor. Low ball them at 40.

Then when you come back in three months and the owners have been eating fucking top ramen. Well, we could have had 40 in our pocket. Now they're saying 46. David, we could eat a real meal. Just one real meal for 46,000. We could stretch that. So I walk down there. I don't know at the time.

I just get off this conference call, and I walk down to that house, and they're still out there, the realtors and the prospective buyers. And Ray, for some reason, Ray, who comes here for football, is out there drinking a beer. Is that fucking Ray? They're in the backyard, and Ray has an open Tallboy craft beer. Yeah, so I Ray? They're in the backyard and Ray has an open tall boy craft beer. So I walk up to him in the backyard and I go,

Ah, I see you looking at the old murder mansion, huh? Yeah, it's a shame what happened there. All those children and that man with the axe. Who knows what got into him. Say you can still hear their wailing in the middle of the night.

The calls of the undead. Enjoy. Enjoy your purchase. So that was fun. Now when we Brady Bunch haunt the place, they've been warned. That would have been funny

if the realtor and the people that were buying it didn't both know me. I know who I was like, that would have been very funny to walk over there in a bathroom. Yeah. Well, as soon as we saw cars pull up, you were like,

Hey, we're going to go look at that house. And then all of a sudden, like an hour later, I'm like, Oh, it's a realtor here earlier. And then Tracy's like,

there's like four cars out later, I'm like, oh, is it real that you're here earlier? And then Tracy's like, there's like four cars out there. I'm like, I ran to the fucking stereo and just cranked 36 Crazy Fists. Just fucking metal. And I go, I don't even care who's there. It could be the postman, but we need to get them an earful of what's going to happen. Yeah, no, those people, I would be happy if they moved in. Totally cool. Yeah, very cool. They have chickens, so we'll get free eggs. Ooh, no, those people, I would be happy if they moved in. Totally cool. Yeah, very cool.

They have chickens, so we'll get free eggs. Ooh, and rats. No kids, they get chickens. And rats. All right. Wait, wait, they kill rats? No, no. No, they attract rats?

Oh, yeah. Well, fuck, I get cats. I have dogs that kill chickens and cats that kill rats. Oh, that doesn't. So we maybe. Oh, it doesn't... So we maybe... Oh, it cancels out. Yeah. We're even.

It's the circle of life, PETA. So when I'm having cat versus rat fights and dog versus chicken fights, it's just a circle in nature, only I made my own circle out of barbed wire. We'll need to change the gauge of the fence for the chicken drop if we're doing a cat-rat fight or a chicken-rat fight. We'll make some kind of dollhouse slash Rube Goldberg machine where, okay, a chicken can go through this hole that a dog can't fit, but then it goes on an escalator down to the cat place,

and then now here's the rats. There's an army of rats, like the movie Rats. Yeah, yeah. Remember, what was it? No, it was a kid's name. What's his an army of rats. Like the movie rats. Yeah, yeah. What was it? No, it was a kid's name. What's his name? Wilbur.

Wilbur. Boom! Tracy wins. This game show is just getting cranked up. Here we go. We'll be right back. All right. I feel good.

There's a... Wait, what happens at the end of the dollhouse thing? Like an egg rolls out and then a beheaded rat? No, the fucking last surviving animal walks out covered in blood and then raises one paw slash claw slash gnarly buck tooth. Where do we get an egg? We'll work on the fucking details. There's got to be an egg. Jesus.

I closed the pitch strong and here you come. You're on my team. Why are you asking questions? But, I mean, I just wanted to ask about some of the preliminary things. I was wondering if maybe we could do a pilot. Well, Doug, you told me this morning you weren't quite prepared to go forward with this project, but you're telling the lady on the phone a separate thing altogether. Chaley, can we just move on, please?

That's not at all what happened. That's what would have happened. Oh, oh. Mike Big Mouth Cosgrove fessed up 100 bucks, and I told every one of you children, that's what a man does. When a man is wrong on the internet, he sends me $100 to 212 Van Dyke Street,

Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. What was that again? Nothing! You should have had a pen. You know we do fucking word of the day now. You should have a pen every time this goddamn thing starts. 212 Van Dyke, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603.

Send it to Doug. Have that shit ready. So, yeah, Mike Cosgrove, big big mouth fucking chats a lot go back a couple podcasts hear the story yeah he sent me a hundred bucks because he was wrong if you're ever wrong in any situation on the internet maybe you're just not even on the internet you're in your fucking your yahoo uh email and you misspell a word. The squiggly line comes under the word, and you go, oh, that's an easy word. Why did I fuck that word up?

Send me $100. Anytime you're wrong on the internet, I get $100. So I said that. Absolution. Right. Yeah. You're forgiven. Well, no sooner did I say that into a podcasting microphone, as we have installed, brought to us by Greg Chaley, that this guy that we goofed on, because he sent me this heartfelt, please give me any suggestions you can, Doug, about my podcast, because I have a podcast, Doug, and you're one of the great orators, Doug, Doug, Doug. And then at the end says, listen, Mr. Benson, it would just be.

And I, oh, fuck. And he said, oh, I'll pay you $200, Mr. Benson, to review my podcast and tell me what I could do different. I don't expect something for nothing. Do you want the email? I have the email here. Do you want to read that? No, no.

We already read it in a podcast. These people can go back. Stop coddling these listeners. I don't care for it. I have the email here. Do you want to read that? No, no. We already read it in the podcast. These people can go back. Stop coddling these listeners. I don't care for it. Toughen up, listener. There's a whole new Doug Stanhope coming your way. And he's a Doug Stanhope drinking a Bailey's and coffee.

What does that mean? He's not even drinking. It's a negative drink. So after we goofed on him day after the uh hundred bucks comes in from fat mouth cosgrove 200 bucks comes in from uh the peldma podcast it's a and we were ready to goof on it chaley had already listened to the peldma podcast after we goofed on him from fucking up the whole, you know, hey, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Mr. Benson thing. Which was funny.

Yeah, so that made Chaley listen to the podcast where he goes, it's fucking terrible. Let's talk about it. I do listen to podcasts. I like to listen for the reasons that he wants to pay us to listen. Yeah, to be what do you call him? What. Yeah, to be a... What do you call him?

What? What? Yeah, there's a person that does that. Like, to be a... A person that fucking critiques. I don't know the word. An asshole. That's why I have this goddamn thesaurus.

I would be nowhere without a thesaurus. But, listen, I... This is my Hallmark cards. Doug Sandoval Hallmark cards. Happy birthday. I hope your birthday is nice and I hope good things happen to you.

Happy birthday. And then I get a thesaurus and all of a sudden, oh, anyone can write in this day and age. So I'll skip the bromides and just say happy day. Very nice.

Good work there. Got to use it once, three times a day. And then I would have very soporific holiday greeting cards. Were it not for the Roger's the source. That stultifying remark has me wondering if maybe you think I adult. I'm adult. I'll fucking fuck that up. All right. I get a fucking. By the way. I'll fucking fuck that up. All right.

I got to fucking. By the way, I have a great word of the day today. Let's get to this because I have a great word of the day. But the Peldma podcast, we listen to it just because you're such a fuck up. And then you gave me $200 like you said you would if I were to review it as some kind of professional. What do you call it? Guys on the goddamn bar rescue. Consultant?

Consultant. Thank you. Yeah, as a consultant. Pelba sent, I don't know his first name. Pelba sent that. It's his stupid last name. Whatever. He sent a money order like USPS Express.

And before I said a word on the podcast, I put that in my bank account to make sure it cashed. Well, I think that's right. He sent a money order. So now we have to make the soft transition from busting his balls like we were going to to $200 later, making it sound like a professional courtesy.

With a tinged, yeah, a lot of this is going to be coarse because you need to hear it this way. That's what they say on reality shows. Why am I yelling? I'm Jon Taffer. I get so, I'm so passionate about my business that I have to insult you on every level. So that's what we're doing.

We're not mocking you. We're not looking for ratings. Peldma. If you have a stupid name, if that's your name, Peldma, no, let's stop it. Change your fucking name. I disagree. I like it. No, it's horrible. I like it. I've gone with Pledma.

It's not stuck with me. Yeah, it hasn't stuck with you, but I like it. No, it's horrible. I like it. I've gone with Pledma. It's not stuck with me. Yeah, it hasn't stuck with you, but I like the fact that he's using something that stands out. I don't even like using podcast in our podcast. Yeah, I know. But as I've told you a million times, when we get to the 100th episode, I'm going to have a fucking title. Name change at 100.

And podcast should not be in it. Entertainment hour, whatever. Just something fluffy, something from the 20s the uh new zoo review or newer zoo reviewer how about that i don't know you really brought up the new zoo review yeah oh my god yeah i'm deep into my baileys with a splash of walmart eggnog yeah freddy the frog that's what it's like in sobriety. Yeah. Got fucking hammered from one zombie last night.

I felt icky this morning. I woke up like a girl with a hangover. Like a 15-year-old girl with a hangover from having one of your zombies. Delicious. And you know what I did? What? You know what I did before I went through all the material I had to be familiar with for that fucking conference call?

Yeah. No, instead I went on Amazon and I bought tiki mugs. Yes! As well as martini glasses and wine glasses because I don't have them. Excellent. And then I'm doing math. Like, all right, I have those six shelves over the sink. One should be martini.

One should be pint glasses. One should be rocks glasses. One should be pint glasses. One should be rocks glasses. One should be did I say martini already? Wine glasses and then coffee mugs and something else. Whatever. Something. I worked it out. It works out. We have not

even considered doing a really good gin martini. Well, your wife and I talked. Your wife and I discussed it this morning. Where were you? Hey, what's happening? What's happening while I'm working? Yeah, you got fucking...

I hear the door open, but I don't hear footsteps. What's going on back there? That doesn't make sense. It's the ghost of Doug. It doesn't matter. Don't ever explain, especially when it makes make sense. It's the ghost of Doug. It doesn't matter. Don't ever explain, especially when it makes no sense. Make them feel retarded for not getting it. There we go.

Always. Peldma. Peldma. All right, so let's give $200 worth of constructive criticism. Call this a podcast. Get out in that goddamn sun while it's lasting, because it's going to get ugly after the weekend starts to die peldma first of all i don't i don't like the name that's all right

it doesn't matter all right we listen to you know what episode 113 this is the best advice you're going to get is uh another call to action that's what i said said. We get a call. When we did yesterday, we, hey, call this 800 number and fuck with the people that do the, how's my driving? Yeah, all right. That's a call to action. Just for silly reasons.

For you guys, go to the Peldma podcast and don't be a dick. I know it's hard for you. We have plenty of opportunities to be a dick. Go to the Peltma podcast, and I'm sure there's a contact page of some kind, and tell them what you think is wrong or right with the podcast.

I've listened to about maybe 10 minutes worth. And my question would be, who is this for? And my question would be, who is this for? I mean, my podcast is sketchy and slipshod at best, but I already have a built-in audience that comes here because I do something else. What you do, Peldma, something else is probably work at a grocery store or you, you help you. I don't know what you do, but people don't go, Oh, the way he's shoveling up ash from that, uh, volcano makes me want to hear what his deeper. So I don't know who this is for. So if you come out as amateurish as I do So if you come out as amateurish as I do without having the backup that I have, I already have an audience. So you come out going, oh, well, I got some YouTube videos and they're not the best.

And but eventually I'm going to have some bumpers and you're talking shit. They don't even know the pedestrian doesn't know the nomenclature of the business. And it's all going to come together. doesn't know the nomenclature of the business. And it's all going to come together. And next up, you're going to hear this story about how I was tortured by a madam or something to that effect. Which, that's like, oh, here we go. Because the episode is called A Madam That Haunted My Youth. Yeah, and you think Richard Pryor.

Richard Pryor grew up in a whorehouse. JoJo Dancer, Peoria, Illinois, and he grew up in a whorehouse and not thinking that this is abnormal whatsoever. And then you get to the story, which hems and haws down every different carefree highway, let me slip away on you. You keep slipping off of your story. Oh, now I go on a tangent, which you're not on a tangent. You're just off topic.

I'm trying to talk about books and literature. Where am I going with this? Nowhere. And then you get to the point. Do you remember Waylon Flowers and Madam? They were a puppet act in the 70s, and they were so big, they had their own variety show,

and I used to have nightmares about Madam the Puppet. That's how I, and that's it. Boom! Fucking stonewall, Peltmer. Nothing. You have three sentences that you built up, and you go off track and sidewinding around to get to a nothing thing where, well, I used to have nightmares about that puppet when I was a kid.

What's next? Nothing for me. That's where I tuned out. Like, fuck this guy. Who are you trying to appeal to? That's what I would ask you. And until you get it right, why would you put this shit out there? Like, who's going to go, oh, this Peltzman.

You know, he doesn't have his shit together, obviously. He says so himself. Repeatedly. Let's just hang in there, because there's only literally 30,000 or 40,000 maybe podcasts. I don't know. Let's look up that number. Can we find that number?

There's probably 30,000 a day. I will let you, the listener, the one geek guy that can find out these numbers. Yeah, tweet me, at Doug Stanhope. How many podcasts are in existence? What makes you stand out other than you sending me $200? That's a standout. Yeah.

But there's no longevity in that. But here's Chaley. Why don't you give them some, like, your professional, like, sound quality shit like that. You gave the $200 worth of critique. I'm going to give the two cents worth, and that's free. This podcast wouldn't happen without you. Your mics are too hot. Clearly, you're over-modulating.

The signal's too hot. Whatever you're doing, don't look at the lights. Do it to ear. And if you hear it sounding too hot or over-driven, you said bumpers, so I imagine you know what over-modulated or over-driven is. When you said bumpers, it sounded like pumpers. Yeah, exactly. You're popping your piece.

Am I popping? The plosives are a dead giveaway that you're not using a windscreen or something to guard against the pops. I would consider a condenser microphone just because you have a little bit more control and it picks up a warmer sound. You had background music in another episode. If you really have to have music in the background put it in in post-production don't do it live because if you ever have to

do an edit you're fucked because it's going to jump around uh and then the content i i listened not this episode the uh the madam uh episode but another one i listened to and you basically read off the contents of your itunes library that's probably when you should stop them what just his favorite songs no just what's on his hard drive that was that was no yes there's no point to it and listen i'm not bagging on you because yes we are but you know i disagree with doug it's like if you Doug The beauty of the podcast is that anyone can put something out there But really you need to have some thought to it If you're reading What's on the fucking

The file tree Going back Dear Mark Maron Slash Bill Burr Slash Joe Rogan Here's $200 Will you tell me what's wrong with my podcast I don't want to hear that.

No. No, fuck no. But at the same time, you need to start somewhere. I mean, we're a train wreck sometimes, too. I mean, I don't know if we're ever getting it right. I think two or three times I've actually set and had beats, and all right, here's how we fucking map this out. And generally, it's just like being on

stage that i have my set if i have that and then i go completely offset i know that i put the time and effort into having a set the prep that i could get back to if i had to go just strictly through the motions you know kiss her on the mouth, kiss down her neck, boobs, then finger her pussy, lick her pussy, get up. Missionary, a little bit doggy style, and then come on her tits. That's the set. All right. All of a sudden, you want to eat her ass right in the middle. Like, you just go right from the mouth to eating her ass and then back to her mouth.

Oh, shit, I forgot the tits. Yeah, but the point is, I had the whole porn, you dictum down right boom boom boom so there you go i if you have more questions tweet them at me or just email me or just send me 200 more dollars and we will bring you to the next level intensive training eventually you wind up with Kyle Cease's podcast camp. You want to go to podcast camp with Kyle Cease? And Louie Anderson, you want to just watch me? I'll watch you if you watch me. This is about podcasting, right?

Not really. A lot of people told me to pick Louie Anderson and the death pool, and I don't know. Is there something the death pool. And I don't know. Is there something that's not online that I don't know about? Oh, you think maybe someone has insider knowledge? No, these are like pedestrian tweets. What? Leonard Nimoy passed away today.

You get it? And he died, too. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. Well, no, I didn't hit it. I didn't have it. But there was like 148 kills site-wide, which is a lot for Leonard Nimoy. Yeah.

It was between him and Shatner. And the race is on, and here comes Spock in the backstretch. I should have asked Tracy to leave before we talked about that. All right. Hang on. Break. Perfect. All right.

Let's get the fuck out. We're going to do a commercial right now for nothing since we don't have sponsors. So here's a commercial. And please hold. This is Chad Shane. And when I'm at Stanhope, I drink plastic jug vodka. Because there ain't no other, I drink plastic jug vodka. Cause there ain't no other option. Plastic

jug vodka. What's your favorite brand? Tweet me at at Doug Stanhope or tweet Chad Shank at at HD Fatty. That's HD Fatty. Hyman Doberman

Fatty with a Y. Hyman Doberman Fatty with a Y. Hyman Doberman? I don't know. All right, that's a commercial. And you know what? The good people at Pop-Off Vodka have been begging me to please, during your rehab, say Pop-Off Vodka is included with all those things you say don't constitute a real drink.

Bailey's Coffee, Walmart Eggnog, hard cider. Did we count the mimosas as a non-drink? There's a lot of things. Coors Light is not really a drink. If you only have one, it counts as nothing. I found in the Tin Can Rehab playbook, you go back in the rules and you see that any drink consumed before 5 p.m. is counted as a third of a drink. And of those drinks, none of them count against the two drinks a night. Well, Papa Vodka, who owns the podcast, they actually own the entire property we're on.

I've been put here. We've been put up for 10 years, groomed by Papa Vodka, plastic jug vodka, to do their bidding. jug vodka to do their bidding. But I couldn't say that they're not at risk of being expulsion from the state. They own everything from the fucking governor down. They own the police. They get a hand in everything. The state of Arizona.

Yeah. Pop off presents. Doug Stano say nothing. I say nothing else. The point is, hey, let's get to word of the day. One more commercial. 209 Black Knob. That's the address of that house that's for sale.

It's kind of part of the fucking compound. I don't like it being for sale. I hope these people buy it. But if they don't, and we can vet you, and you have probably $58,000, you don't want to fucking move in there if we don't like you. We'll be in your shit. We'll have fucking bugs in the place.

We'll have cameras. We'll be in and out of your anuses. You sit down. You thought that was an alligator? No, a camera just went up, gave you a colonoscopy, and we're already doing pap smears on the results. And you're like, honey, I think an albino crocodile just snout up my snifter. No.

And you're thinking, wait a minute, those are two different holes. Yeah, that's right. We're going to connect those holes. Yeah, we will. So, yeah, go online, Bisbee Real Estate. That was an alligator, by the way. Bob Klein is the real estate agent that's on the sign. Yeah.

Two oh nine. Black knob view. Fucking move into my neighborhood or much less my compound without fucking sending us your peculiars. And here's the word of the day so we can get the fuck out of here. Bingo just showed up. She looks like she's been sleeping for eight. Remember when you told me that you actually gain weight?

It's bad for weight loss to not sleep? Yes. And now I see what you're talking about. Bingo's head is bunchy like a pillow that needs fluff. And she's been awake for days working on her dumb project. Yeah, there's something wrong with her head. We got to get her in the sun. Get a cocktail in her.

Let's hurry up. Yeah, let's hurry up. The word. We got to get her in the sun, get a cocktail in her. Let's hurry up. Yeah, let's hurry up. The word of the day, and I just, I open to this. This is a fucking beautiful one. This is honest. This is honest. Brumagem. Brumagem.

B-R-U-M-M-A-G-E-M. Brum-a-gem. But it's pronounced Brumagem. Brumagem. Brumagem. Brum-a-gem, but it's pronounced Brum-a-jum. Brum-a-jum. Brum-a-jum, and I'm going to let you guys give me, because this is such a t-ball waiting to be swung at. The definition is something that looks good but performs poorly. So tweet at me.

Hashtag Brum-a-jum. B-R-U-M-M-A-G-e-m brumagem something that looks good and performs poorly and go ahead put your fucking goofy stupid joke out there try to be creative the first thing you think of is never the one that's what everyone everyone else thinks of. So go three or four deep. Try to get creative with the word of the day, Brumagem, and tweet it at me because I'm fucking bored. I actually look at Twitter. I love you guys. We're going to close out tonight on Goofy.

Oh, yeah, go fucking buy some merch. Thank you guys for buying merch and donating to Chaley. If you don't want merch, it's great. Fucking Chaley's very happy and we're cranking these things out daily chaley's getting them out as quick as they can come out and uh appreciate all your fucking uh sentiments and niceties and etc and we're gonna close on a song you can't fucking you can't shit on my uh my my ipod uh b-side because all I listen to is B-sides and not much of anything. Here we're going to go goofy today because we feel goofy and it's been a goofy day.

I love you. This is on my podcast and when it comes on, I sing it like it's fucking Brian Adams on my prom. This is John Sebastian with the theme song from Welcome Back, Cotter. Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out. Hit it. Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about. Well, the names have all changed since you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and they've turned around. Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back here where we need ya. Turn around. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. You always could spot a friend. Welcome back. And I smile when I think how you must have been. And I know what I seen you were learning in. Was there something that made me come back again? And what could ever lead ya?

What could ever lead ya? Back here where we need ya. Back here where we need ya. Yeah, we tease him a lot, cause we got him on the spot. Welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back. And I know what I seen you were learning in.

Was there something that made me come back again And what could ever lead ya What could ever lead ya Back here where we need ya Back here where we need ya Yeah, we tease him a lot Cause we got him on the spot Welcome back

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we tease him a lot. Welcome back. Welcome back. Because we got him on the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Yeah, we tease him a lot. Because we got him on the spot. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.