The Doug Stanhope Podcast - DAY 18 - #TinCanRehab

Episode Date: March 8, 2015

DAY 18A daily podcast following Doug's self-imposed rehab to quit smoking. A touch of shame from the night before but Doug moves on.Support the podcast with a donation or purchasing some Stanhope merch. Recorded Mar 06, 2015 at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Links-"The Todd Glass Situation" - http://amzn.to/180ApyY GASTINEAU HARDWARE & LUMBER - http://gastineau.doitbest.com/home.aspx  on Twitter - Bad Album Covers - @badalbumcovers  Doug vs. Hecklers - http://bit.ly/1EDmziC  Mishka Shubaly UK Dates - http://www.mishkashubaly.com/events/ Doug Stanhope's #TinCanRehab Playlist - http://bit.ly/1BUwPTcIntro music "30 Days In The Hole" by Humble Pie. Closing song “Long Tall Glasses” by Leo Sayer. Both available on iTunes.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

8 15 p.m. and God day 18's been a quiet one around here at the old... Hacienda. Yeah, it was a touch of shame this morning, but nothing... Shame? Yeah, it was just, you know, wow, jeez, I got fucked up last night. Smoked a cigarette with some dude who played guitar. Mason Reed. Mason Reed, he was a fun guy uh and uh we assume he played guitar he was holding one yeah yeah and he was the only guy in his band so i love it when you walk into a bar and they're like uh yeah we're closed but there's like four

people drinking it's like you won't take just a fucking shot from us. They were grandfathered in. But you know what I mean? Come on. It's Bisbee. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't want to stay there. I was just there to see Mason Reed because someone tweeted,

oh, Mason Reed is in Bisbee. Wouldn't it be funny if he hooked up with Doug Stanhope? So I knew that was going on. I felt more shame not even for smoking a cigarette or getting drunk. wouldn't it be funny if he hooked up with Doug Stanhope? So I knew that was going on. I felt more shame, not even for smoking a cigarette or getting drunk. What did I smoke? Two cigarettes. I don't know.

Two. Three. Well, there's one the night before. Hold on. There was one the night before. One with Mason Reed out in front of Elmo's. Yeah. And then.

Oh, you had that sneaky American. The safety cigarette. The safety cigarette. Yeah. Forget then. Oh, you had that sneaky American. Yeah. The safety sink here. Yeah. Forget about that one. Either way, I was not. That's a. That stuff happens.

I was more bummed out about the shitty podcast. I remember just going, all right, I'm just going to hammer through the points and let's get the fuck out of here. Here's things I wrote down. I cannot talk right now. Do you remember we did a uh the interview afterwards for nelson yeah what do we do with that well i you didn't put it out no no no no you you bailed out of it by the end of the podcast and then we recorded it because i'm just going to send him the mp3 so if you if you wonder where that's why it's not at the end of the podcast some guy guy, if you if you if you missed this, some guy said, hey, I'm doing a paper for my class in some off brand college in New Jersey about radicalism in America.

Can I ask you? I want to do my paper about you and then sent this list of questions. It was a 20 some questions that were just really deep questions. When did you think you became a real person? Like, just not even, like, ah, fuck you. Did you notice your audience change? And if so, do you know why? It was just that, like, there's nothing, there was no quick answers to this. It's not something I could just, like, be a nice guy and, all right,

I'll answer a few questions it was so i instead of emailing him back and having to plunk at the keyboard and try to think i just spouted off drunkenly at him so if you think that's worth airing i don't think it is it was just mostly me going fuck you what how the fuck do i know you said fuck you a lot yeah What I did was I gave you the bell. And when you were like so fed up and done with the answer, we moved on to the next one. Do you want to get that? No, I want to fucking punch that cat in the chest.

I've had a lot of that. You know when you want to abuse cute animals, maybe just fucking take a Xanax and sleep this one away but we have to do the podcast every day there's ichabod that fucking police that cat police that cat good boy open the door i know you can get it open but can you shut it behind you that's the key i read today uh i read todd glass's book the todd glass situation and uh it's fucking great it was i almost i realized that i almost never read for pleasure like all this stuff i read is non-fiction it's usually a subject that makes me angry that i'm inherently interested in from like a material

like all right this is something i want to talk about in my act. Prison, fucking, the wrongly accused. Something that just gets me wound up or I want to learn something. It's never for just the sake of sitting back and reading. And Todd Glass's book, not only is a fucking easy read, you can blow through it in a day and I'm a wicked slow reader. But it's entertaining.

You're not even... The style is... It almost had a podcast quality to it where you're not watching... It's not someone trying to write. It was so easy to just sit through.

And there were actual belly laughs in it. And I don't know if it helps or hurts that I know Todd. But times you can hear him say, but it's not affected. I mean, for a guy that's not a writer, he's a fucking comic. He's just so well-written. I would hope to write like that. I know when I write, I try to get a little fucking, you know, throw some flair in there,

try to have style that I probably don't have at all. I remember when you used to do updates, though, you used to labor over just maybe the couple hundred words. Yeah, this did not feel labored at all. This just felt like, hey, this just felt like hey here's the fuck this is a story and here's my my life and it was really just really a nice day i really i'm starting to feel lazy in that fucking trailer like yeah all right all right fuckhead where your dumb fucking rehab thing get out there and get a job but today still fucking kind of cold and suck shit uh windy but inside that trailer a lot of

windows and that sun as long as the sun's out there's no wind blowing in there it's fucking nice and toasty yeah you said as soon as the sun comes out it starts becoming like a little oven and at night it becomes an icebox yeah so i So I finished that book. I, now I go back to the one that was laboring, uh, renegades history of the United States, which is, there's a lot of really interesting shit in it, but yeah,

you're, it makes you think, which makes it harder to read. And I tend to read things that make me think. And then all of a sudden I'm like, ah, fuck, I haven't read any of this.

I've been off on a, which is good for business, but not for a lazy day. Fucking lazy day. A fun read. Ba-ba-do-ba-do-ba-boop-a-do-ba-do-ba. Sing another sunshine song. We got that from the Todd Glass podcast. Yeah, Roger Miller. Yeah.

Walking in the sunshine. Yeah. Roger Miller. Yeah. Walking in the sunshine. Yeah. For a day with, yeah, that kind of day, it was a good book, good day. Well, and you haven't mentioned it yet, but I don't know if you want to.

We're in the new studio. Oh, yeah. You moved the table from the suicide hostel to the fun house. I almost feel bad we didn't set this up at the little tiny table in the trailer, but it would have been such a clusterfuck. One seat you have to almost climb into.

There's seven inches between the corner of the oven and the corner of the table. I can mash my knee in between the counter and the tabletop. It's like vampires could get through there without touching. You need a corset on your thigh to get into the actual other side of the seat. We're drinking tonight.

You know what? Harvey Wallbangers. Not that interesting. It's got a fun name, but all it is is a fucking screwdriver with Galliano liqueur. And then I fresh squeezed some oranges

and the oranges suck. They're not juice oranges. That's why. What is a juice orange? A juice orange is a smaller orange Those are those big, pulpy I don't know what the fuck those were Those are good peeling orange

If they taste like shit, they taste like shit If the juice tastes like shit, the orange tastes like shit There are certain oranges that are Known for I said they were oranges for a Fake display on Sears Furniture, where they had a fruit bowl. You could, instead of a plastic orange, you could put one of these.

It's the same fucking thing. An Ikea display. So, yeah, we're having boring drinks. I didn't even want to drink at all. But kind of the two drinks is kind of, I think I would let people down if I did not have a stupid drink. Because we kind of set this template. And we're drinking Valentine's. Someone gave this to us in Detroit.

That was our last U.S. date. Do you realize that? The last date we played on American soil was October 25th or 6th, whatever the Saturday night was in Detroit. And then you had to drive back, and i flew it was no no we did flint and then drove back and stayed at the airport remember machine shop that was that was flint okay then the next night that was the what was the name of that place shit oversold and like

45 minutes late starting because they just didn't i don't handle it it was... Shit, I don't remember it. But yeah, we... That was the last fucking gig was October. It's been almost going on six months since we've done a U.S. date and none on the books for this year. Fantastic. Thank God the merch is available. Yeah, yeah.

It's not really good. For me, not you. I don't know how you're handling it. I'm sucking cock. That's why you put a fence around the whole place. Multiple glory holes. Old man. Stan Hope's running around like spinning plates on the ed

ed sullivan show my mother will you she my mother would say that you know i could always go out and sell my pussy and you're like you're fucking like 48 years old hey i know that's what i'm saying like like like legitimate fags would be listening to this going you're sucking cock like who would even let you suck their cock with those giant teeth much less make a living at it but yeah no my mother

would say something like that and you go who would fuck you and then you watch cops and or you know any one of those shows and you see these wretched like homelessy ladies like fucking missing teeth fat like beyond even human looking and they're out selling fucking blow jobs on this flagging down traffic getting arrested for it like that would be a badge of honor. If you're like some dowdy fucking 45-year-old crackhead with rotten slivers of black teeth,

and you get busted for prostitution, you'd probably come home and go, see, I told you. Don't you just want to see that black book? Black book, black eyes. She doesn't have a book. No, the black book of like the worst-looking prostitutes that a police department is taking pictures of. I knew an oral surgeon who was always the one in Orange County who was called in when there was massive reconstruction of the

jaw, and he had a book of fucked up faces. I thought you meant the Hooker's Black Book of her Johns. The Heidi Fleiss Black Book. That lady doesn't have regular customers. That's definitely a point of interest. I'm sorry.

I should have... From the police department like like well they do they have the faces of meth oh that's true someone i remember had like a gif i think it's called but it was they did faces of meth and it was the faces of comedy and they found my like earliest headshot when i was a fresh-faced young guy and then went through the whole thing and one of them was the a picture of me on the airplane when we were going to that music festival in amsterdam yeah the fryer tuck where i had shaved out the top of my head and then i'm in a suit i have glasses on and i had a a nicotine

patch on my jugular jugular vein flying to fucking Amsterdam. Out cold. I was posing. I was posing. Yeah. But you were the window seat. Yeah. So your head was like cocked up against the wall of the plane, the fuselage.

Yeah. And like, yeah, like, yeah. But you know what? You may have posed for that picture, but that happened later. But we were both doing it and I didn't have a patch. Yeah. The nicotine patch on your neck, that made it. Faces of comedy.

I'd love to say the whole thing's over. I'm just getting to a place where I'm starting to think, oh, okay, yeah, that's material right there. Shit I could talk about on stage again. Are you writing? No. For stage? No, not even notes. I could talk about on stage again. Are you writing? No. For stage? No.

Not even notes. I got to do my fucking taxes. I haven't even got to the list of minor shit. I wake up, I go over, I make that fucking, it takes me an hour to make my breakfast sandwich. By the way. I'll fucking kick that goddamn cat. Don't kick cats.

I'm not really going to kick the cat, but he's frustrating me. Meatwig, you've been here almost 10 years. I've been here basically off and on since you first got here. I'm finally warming up to Meatwig.

I actually like the cat now. Wait, you didn't like the cat? Well, I was always standoffish because uh well that's still a scar right there that was just from the other night yeah that's rough house you don't no that was me trying to pet your cat and then the cat saying don't fucking touch me no means no he loves to fuck up a podcast that's one thing about meat wig he loves to fuck up a podcast. That's one thing about Meatwig. He loves to fuck up a podcast.

He hears you talking into a mic. He stands outside the door. Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Hey, this is what I was saying. Valentine's vodka. We got a Detroit theme going here because Valentine's is a Detroit vodka. And yes, I sayroit on purpose it's

better than detroit detroit i i like that better and what was the other detroit thing you know what uh my memory of detroit is when we did the emerald theater maybe maybe we should go with detroit you say it's stupid when you say say Detroit, and now I sound... Maybe that's not at all the way to say it. What? I don't know. I'm not thinking about how I say Detroit. I just say it. Yeah, maybe I sound like a fuckhead when I say Detroit. So when I heard you

say it, I thought, oh, maybe I sound like a fuckhead, because you did. So Detroit, let's do it that way. All right. Don't cut any of this out too because i have no cutting out yeah because we have nowhere we're stretching for right but uh the emerald theater i remember uh that was a the show that uh i first met um oh the the peoria comic uh fucking scary travis lipski travis lipski whatever happened to travis lipski wow but uh hold on detroit i remember because that was when uh we filmed that was the first night of the tour

brennan walsh was there and uh travis lipski and lynn shawcroft and i filmed the whole set but i posted uh don't boo a Girl. Oh, yeah. So I want people to watch that because it's hilarious. You're yelling. You're yelling. That was one of my dumb ideas where, all right, I'm bringing out a bunch of comics or a few comics, and I thought maybe I should host it and then headline at the end,

which is a terrible idea. But when you have comics that are not there's no one that's no one can mc this those are like junior stopka he's a comic that he's never gonna be hey ladies and i guess he could do it but he doesn't know how to it's gonna be awkward if he has to andy andrist would be the worst comic to send out there cold and have you know hope he has any skills of hey welcome to the show nothing no he'll just make it awkward you if andy andrist opened a show and you didn't know him you'd think a drunk guy walked onto the stage and grabbed the mic and you'd be waiting for security to pull him away or the host didn't show up and they had to find like you you but you know uh

the emerald you walked out we bought tuxedos on the way into town that day. We bought tuxedos? We both had tuxedos on. Oh, at a thrift store. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, not full price. We're not crazy.

Yeah. But that boo a girl on YouTube, I love it. What the hell is the other fucking Detroit thing? It's going to make me crazy now. I don't want to, I'm not pausing this and say, or saying we'll edit this out. I said, oh, we get the Detroit vodka. Yeah, that's it.

Detroit something else. And then I go, too bad there's no fucking Detroit bands in the songs I have remaining to kick out, end up this podcast with. But you didn't tell me. I would have written it down. I know. I fucking did.

I'm staring at everything. I walked in here going, look, I got Detroit vodka, and we got Detroit this. It's a whole Detroit theme. What else? Oh, our fucking glasses. We have 1954 Detroit Lions championship glasses that someone, probably Floyd, found in his antique shop.

Someone got me these. They're fucking gorgeous. Yeah, I'm scared to take these out. No, no, these were given to you on tour. Oh, were they? Yes. All right. Because I remember I had to pack them.

Well, we were driving back home. But someone gave them to you at the merch booth. Yeah. 1954 Western Division champions. It's a fucking beautiful glass. It is. And they're matching. Yeah.

Because we drink out of matching glasses now. We have fancy highball drinks. Actually, a highball is a drink. We just found out a sidecar is a drink But we probably talked about that last night Served in a fucking crooked stemmed Martini glass didn't like that But uh Like the martini glasses you just got in the mail

Those are the best The short fat stem But that one last night When she was making that drink I thought that's not for us And then Yeah that's not when I saw a sidecar online It was not in a i thought that's not for us and then yeah that's not when i saw a sidecar online it was not in a glass like that yeah so but it was nice let's take a let's take a break and then try to uh try to figure out a way oh wait are you fucking inman inman james

inman who you remember from this podcast if you haven't heard those just go find those if you're new to the podcast, listen to the James Inman. There's two of them. He just found out that you're selling a James Inman ringtone for 99 cents on the site. And he emailed, you fucking pig fucker. I'm a ringtone now. No, on Facebook or Twitter, I think he had it where he's like really pissed off about it. Yeah, he tweeted at me like, fuck you, Doug.

Stand up. You made me a ringtone. It makes me want to sell James Inman merch. I just do tease even fucking albums. I have you know what? I have a VHS. I have a VHS tape of me working with him in like 1996. And we could just pull his audio and sell a James Inman CD

just to make him fucking crazy. Create like an eBay account? Yeah. A throwaway, like a ditch phone. Do you want to hear it? Yeah, go ahead. This is James Inman and it's for sale on

dougstanhope.com slash store. Hit the right one here. Do I have to have it right in my mouth someone and I didn't even remember what he was referring to but someone tweeted that whatever I said is my new ringtone now from the podcast

so I don't know what you're talking about but if you have something chaley all he has of me is uh is me saying fuck you or the sax underpants song but the sax underpants is awesome that's our commercial yeah and that's a ringtone as well yeah it was kind of in the moment though i was kind of i was you know giving bill burr shit for because we always had sax underpants as a non-sponsor sponsor. They don't actually sponsor us, but they do send me some free underpants because I say nice things about

them. Cause I like them. I like you. I like them first. And then they came to me and said, all right, Hey, we heard you saying nice things.

Here's some free underpants. Cause that's a, but what, that's what gentlemen do. Well, when we don't have a, and then all of a sudden fucking bill Burr has an actual sponsor. That's some fucking tidy underpants because that's what gentlemen do. Well, when we don't have a sponsor. And then all of a sudden, fucking Bill Burr has an actual sponsor that's some fucking

tidy underpants and I didn't like that. So, yeah. So the sax underpants I have mixed. It's a bittersweet symphony right there. Go ahead. What do you got? Here's Doug's ringtone which you don't like, but I like it.

Here's an idea. Go blow yourself. Yeah. So, yeah, if anyone, I hate to open, I'm opening myself up for this by saying, hey, if there's a good chunk that you think would make a good ringtone from all these podcasts, but don't actually don't because you're going to send me things I hate and then I'm going to yell at you, even though I asked. Send it to me. Send it to Chaley. He has're going to send me things I hate, and then I'm going to yell at you, even though I asked. Send it to me. Send it to Chaley.

He has nothing else to do. We haven't been outside. We used to. Remember, we had a tan at the beginning of this dumb fucking rehab. Yeah, we used to. When the Brettsils were here, we did a lot of walking. Yeah. Did a lot of outdoor stuff.

As recently as, what was that, three, four days ago, I did that monster hike, and my foot's all still fucked up from it my toes i get wicked like not athlete's foot but my my toes crack if uh if i don't like soak them in hand lotion foot lotion salt no that gold bond fucking foot lotion there's a sponsor actually i was a little disappointed that you uh you took off on your sojourn without me. Yeah, I get up early. No, I go to bed late. Yeah. But I want to do that. All right.

We can do it again. That's a good clip. Were you packing the maraca for that? Oh, no, the BB gun? No, no, I'm scared of that. Just the amount of people that get shot without a gun to have one that just looks real. But yeah, there's nothing going on out there.

It's interesting that a toy gun, by law, has to have an orange tip on the barrel. Not around here, evidently. And a BB gun is not considered a toy? Yeah, but it's not considered a gun either. But why would you need weapon? I don't know. Let's take a break.

I don't know. You seem out of it. Yeah, yeah. We can't. They can't all be fucking peppy fireballs. All right. Break time. Hi, I'm Tootie from the facts of life.

And you're listening to the podcast. The word of the day today is brought to you by Gastineau Hardware and Lumber in Ellington, Missouri. Hey, people, springtime is just around the corner. And you know what that means, spring projects. So while the wife is making that honey-do list, why don't you strap on your suspenders and come down to Gastineau Hardware and Lumber in Ellington? We have a full-service hardware store, and we provide the best in customer service. If we don't have it in stock, just ask one of our friendly employees, and we can special order it from our library of over 70,000 items in our online store.

Special order it from our library of over 70,000 items in our online store. Gastineau Hardware and Lumber, Highway 106, Ellington. Give us a call at 573-663-2333. That's 573-663-2333. And tell them the Doug Stanhope podcast sent you. The word of the day, the Gastineau Hardware and Lumber word of the day today, from the Roger's The Source, words for intellectuals, and ain't we just, ain't we just, Mr. Chele, intellectuals.

This word, you might know it, I've heard the word, but it's a fucking great word. I love this word you might know it I've heard the word but it's a fucking great word I love this word this is a good one bloviate to speak pompously and at length bloviate almost wish we had bloviated throughout this podcast

but this was a little tempered but you know what some days almost wish we had bloviated throughout this podcast, but this was a little tempered, but you know what? Some days. Yeah. So bloviate, use that on your, you go out to, it'll be your Saturday night and yeah,

fucking try to wedge in bloviate, whatever your Saturday night party fucking thing entails. You're going out, you're going to a comedy club. If you're going to heckle a shitty comic, don't do that. Don't ever. There's no comic shittier than the best heckler. But yeah, you're trying to talk to sage words right there.

Yeah, that's probably not true at all. But if you say it with confidence, my God, you can get away with so much. Buy Todd Glass's book. That's The Todd Glass Situation. That's probably been out for a million years, but it's a fucking book. You get around it. It's not like, oh, geez, old news. You got through it quick.

Got through it. It's good. And you enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed the shit out of it. It made me really... And you enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed the shit out of it. It made me really... For the layman, for you to enjoy something,

for the layman, you will totally be thrilled. You don't like things. It's hard for you to like things. I like things. You like things. I don't talk about things I like because it's not funny. Unless it's something really stupid. Like lumpfish caviar is a really funny thing to like.

I love lumpfish caviar. I talk about it all the time. Why? Because it's a stupid thing that no one knows about that you actually just sit and eat food colored black eggs that came out of an udder. But they're really good. Out of an udder?

Is that what you said? Yeah, the udder of a lumpfish. Look up a lumpfish and see if you'd eat the fish itself, much less it's unborn kin. Oh my God. Something that comes out of one of its, its B holes. Yeah.

Hey, can we take a break right now and get some lump fish? And then maybe that we'll kick it around. No, no, we already did the word of the day. Now I just do the song. No,

you have all that right there to get through. Oh no. I just, okay. This is, you have all that right there to get through. Oh, no. Okay, this is something some shit people sent me. There's a corkscrew and bottle opener set with they're on a wooden handles and one's a man and one's a woman, the handle.

And the woman has boobs and the man has a wooden penis and the woman has a hole. So you put them together and it's like salt shakers kind of basically like salt and pepper shakers. Only, yeah, the guy's penis goes into the woman's thing. And Shaylee's taking a picture of it right now. So now I have to stand here and hold it.

And other people sent me your like zines or cartoony magazines and non sequitur shit. What is all that? Is that from one person? Yeah, this guy doesn't put his name on it. The other guy is Charles Levesque, and I only know that because on the back of his return address, he had very unique handwriting,

and I saw Charles Levesque, and then his artwork. I can saw Charles Levesque. And then his artwork. I can't fucking understand a thing. I can't understand what the fuck goes on in this whole road rage thing. What is that thing? Yeah, it's his artwork by Charles Levesque. Or that's the guy that sent it to me. Brainyoodle.com.

Is that what it is? Is it Levesque or Levesque? I don't fucking know. Levesque. And the other guy sent me this. It's kind of similar shit, but it's not even really drawing. What would you call that? That's like tracing or something.

I don't know. No, no. He actually has a better command of the pen. But yeah, it's just all non sequiturs. I think Charles Levesque tried to actually. I just can't fucking figure out what the hell. Yeah, Charles needs a finer

finer pen it's too thick it gets bloody not bloody it's just too thick but I appreciate it I tried to figure out what the fuck goes on in that and the other guys that's just all like non sequiturs

with like no I like it but that. And then the other guys, that's just all like non sequiturs. No, I like it. But that's not like, he didn't draw that. That's like traced shit, right? Wait, no. What? He drew this. Come on, stop. Yeah.

No, that's like an app you can do. Somehow you think that's so good that no one could actually draw that, that it has to be traced? No, that's just... Stop. Man, I want to see you draw something. You must be in such awe of someone who can draw the simplest thing. That's like some trick you can do on a computer.

No, no, the font is not freehand. Look, that's a coloring it looks like a coloring book if that explains it to the listener at home it looks like a coloring book that's not colored in does that make sense to you yeah but okay then that's all I need

oh no no hold on hold on now I see his writing his actual script like not font like copy and paste. Yeah. There would be more panache in his lettering if he was that good of a drawer.

All right. We're not here to tear him down. No, not at all. But I got these so I can sell them on the website. No, no, I won't. No. If I say yes to everything everything then where's the value and someone uh these mad dogs of glory and the album is isle of hot h-a-u-t hot i-l-o i-l-o hot

uh you probably don't even pronounce the t in hot. And now that I see the A-U, I don't know. It's an album. And it made me realize, fuck, I don't have a record player anymore. It's the one we had. It went sketchy and would change speeds. It went wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And we realized. So, yeah, one day.

Do we need a record player? Well, it comes with a download card. I'd sooner get a fucking turntable than I would figure out how to use a download card. I know how to use a record player. Computers, not so much. So one day I will listen to these Mad Dogs of Glory. We used to have a couple times or one time at least we had a record player party when I got the record player. couple times or one time at least we had a record player party when i got the record player yeah and i had all these records i have framed and uh like old christian like family singers which had album

covers is as i don't know the twitter fuck i wish i could there's a a twitter account and i think i think it's at about bad album covers whatever it it is. And it's a great thing to follow because they show you all these ridiculous album covers from the 60s and 70s. You have some here. Oh, I have my own. The Ashcroft one is creepy. Yeah, the John Ashcroft and Max Bacon, back when he was a comptroller for the state of Missouri.

I'm not shitting on the state of Missouri. An Ellington hardware and lumber out of Ellington. Gastineau? What are you talking about? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Gastineau. What did I say?

You said Ellington. Yeah. They're in Ellington, Missouri. Okay. Anyway, yeah, it's Gastineau. Gastineau hardware and lumberau Hardware and Lumber. The outro song today, you know what? I haven't been pushing you enough because I still have some monsters,

but I also have some because I'm getting a lot of great feedback. That dude that fucking has a YouTube thing, a channel for... Remember the thing I sent you? Oh, Playlist. Yeah, of all the songs. Yes, as we go, he's making this YouTube thing so you can listen to all the songs, and of course we don't have it written

down. So maybe tomorrow we can have that address or something. No, I can put the link in the show notes. Alright, so this song... I'm going to fucking hit something that you're going to hate, or some of you at least have to hate. And this one is,

this is a Leo Sayer singing about back when hobos that went out and they ate their meals by poaching. And then occasionally they'd stumble into a roadside attraction. That was a buffet of obscene amounts of food and wine. And then, but then when the hobo comes in, they tell him he has to dance if he wants to eat and drink all that food, which,

all right, this is not a true story at all. It's a implausible story. It's just a fun fucking song. I don't know if anyone remembers it but i had people after i mentioned the wanderers last night yeah and yeah yeah the people that do remember yeah they came on strong so i hope someone out there remembers long tall glasses by leo sayer Leo Sayre. food there was water coming from my eyes yeah there was ham and there was turkey there was caviar and long tall glasses with wine up to your and then somebody grabbed me threw me out of my

chair said before you can eat you gotta dance like Fred Astaire. You know I can't dance, you know I can't dance. You know I can't dance, you know I can't dance. I can't seek entertainment, just poultry and game But if it's all the same to you, then yes, I will try my hand If you were as hungry as me, then I sure you would understand. Hmm. Now, wait a minute. Of course I can dance. Of course I can dance. I'm sure I can dance. I'm sure I can dance. I can dance.

I can dance. I really hit the floor. Oh, it feels good. Look at me dancing. I did a two-step quick step And a bossin' over a little Victor Sovestoretta Rudy Valentino You should have seen me movin'

Right across the floor Had me down my tuxedo Next week I'm comin' back for more I can dance oh yes i can dance look at me dancing the floor i feel good i can dance i can dance i can dance i can dance i can dance, I can dance, I can dance, I can dance, I can dance. How we're going? I'm not cutting it out. All right, leave it in.