The Doug Stanhope Podcast - DAY 30 - Tin Can Rehab

Episode Date: March 19, 2015

DAY 30A daily podcast following Doug's self-imposed rehab to quit smoking. 30 days a non smoker and how will Doug celebrate? You would be surprised.Support the podcast with a donation or purchasing some Stanhope merch. Recorded Mar 18, 2015 at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope) and Brian Hennigan (@MrHennigan). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Links-SAMBAL OELEK - http://amzn.to/1GsjVLv Lump Fish Cavier - http://amzn.to/1B3iOgVDAVE'S KILLER BREAD - http://amzn.to/1B3iWNmPSYLLIUM HUSK - http://amzn.to/1BYltNKFriends Of Dean Martinez - http://amzn.to/194ksrODoug Stanhope's #TinCanRehab Playlist - http://bit.ly/1BUwPTcIntro music "30 Days In The Hole" by Humble Pie. Closing song “My Shit's Fucked Up” by Warren Zevon. Both available on iTunes.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Honestly, where else are you going to get a five-day cruise in the Caribbean for $199 ahead? The Doug Stano Booze Cruise. Just make sure you're on the mailing list at DougStano.com. That's coming up this summer. And what else do we have? You know, I don't know who sent me or handed me at the merch booth. It's been sitting in the Tahoe forever. It's a five CD set called Drunk,

and it's a hundred smashed hits, and it's all songs about drinking and being drunk, but not Mishka Shibali songs. These are like old. Yeah. They're upbeat. They're kind of like, I'm drinking, but it's almost like canned heat blues But it's almost like, you know, canned heat blues.

It's that old, you know, oh brother, where art thou kind of shit. Yeah. I was drinking, I was drinking. I think that was one of the lyrics.

I was drunk and I was drinking. My woman, she gone. Yeah. Old like Delta blues, black guy. It's fucking great. Yeah, it's very good. It's very, black guy. It's fucking great. Yeah, it's very good.

Very, very good. A lot of swing kind of shit. Yeah. I was expecting just like goofball songs. Yeah. But no, it's wicked good. Been listening to a lot of that. So whoever said that, thank you very much.

There's a ton of shit. There's so much shit around here that I have no idea how I got. But I know it's you fucking assholes out there. And it makes me happy. God damn it. I'm free. I'm free as a bird. This is the day 30 podcast, which means it's day 31 for me.

And we're just wrapping it all up here. I'm up there. Oh, I bet Stan Hope is hammered. No, I'm not. No, I woke up. I had plenty of energy. I fucking hiked the dogs all over creation. had plenty of energy i fucking hiked the dogs all over creation we went into sierra vista uh drove 30 miles so we could all bang fry's grocery store for their 97 cent on sale uh sucker bait

black uh blackberries and blueberries and enjoy sushi and enjoy sushi i wonder who stores i wonder who in the u.s has the longest adequate sushi commute. Like where is the, you know, you'd have to drive. The furthest you have, the most remote location from sushi? From sushi. I'm sure it's, I would have no idea. Okay. I was curious. I bet some bored cocksucker will sit there and spend days figuring this out.

It doesn't have to be good sushi. It can't just be like fucking, you know, packaged sushi. We talked about this I'm sure in Australia but Australia, the lack of quality sushi was fucking... And everything's on the coast.

Yeah, I know. No sense. I don't know. But, uh... Alright, I have no order. I have a shitload of notes. I have a bunch of things that I've learned during my 30 days in the tin can. And I think I've probably already gone over. My dog hates me.

That's one thing I've realized in the 30 days of rehab. Henry Phillips. Yeah, I didn't have to go into rehab to know that i know i do rehab way better than fucking dr drew uh-huh no deaths on my watch no struggles no drama really no drama a few times i got angry at things in animate objects but i don't think i necessarily got much angrier than i normally do oh oh i guarantee you were not as angry as you normally are yeah a lot of that anger just stems from waking up completely confused yes fuck what i did last what did i do last night and who do i owe an apology i can i can vouch for the fact that you're almost scarily easy to deal with when you're on the last 30 days.

Because you don't have that random hair trigger of... Oh, I do. But the point is, again, you're able to control it. That's the difference. It's usually inanimate objects. Right. I'll take a swing at wind. It makes me crazy and

it fucks up my stuff and i'm like fuck you surely wind is the very definition of an animate object sorry it's not even an object the move it's things i can't control like wind that fucks with my stuff and changing my newspaper page when i don't want to change my newspaper page i want to sit out here with a shirt off in the sun and read the goddamn sports section and it's just blowing my fucking shit around and there's nothing to hit. Knowing there's somebody to kill. I've always said that. Just knowing that you know the person responsible for this problem and you could go to his house

and kill his kid in front of him just makes everything okay. Not that you do it, but knowing that you could do it. When it's something like wind or any bothersome fucking, I don't know. You know what I'm saying. No, you don't. You're looking at me all fucking weird. So I don't know how to go.

Like, what do we do? What's the next step after the 30? Now that the 30 days in the hole tin can rehab has worked flawlessly, how do we bring this to the masses? Or do we start renting out the tin can? Well, you could do some sort of scheme involving the shady dell where you could get groups of people involved. And Dr. Drew? No, you're the Dr not like dr drew yeah that's what i'm saying i'd

do the dr drewing yeah for their 30-day tin can rehab but we do it at the shady dells yeah i don't have them fucking crawling all over that's the last thing you want is them crawling around here unless they join the cult that's the other thing we really got to get going. And don't let me slack on this. The cult has to start so slowly. Just start moving into Bisbee. Not too close. But the Warren section of Bisbee is good. And get yourself a residency here.

Because here's the thing. You get a fucking. Hennigan's got a arizona driver's license i do with when you get a driver's license in arizona it's good till you're 63 or 65 years old it's good for yeah my my license expires in like 2031 or something uh-huh so yeah it's it's it's really effective and if you register your car here then you uh there's no like smog or anything like that is there no no fuck no i i that truck the pickup truck it cost me uh 96 total dollars to register that and that's only because that place since has a convenience fee of $25.

So you don't have to drive to an actual DMV. And as well worth $25. And I got the Arizona Cardinals specialty plates, which is another extra $45. So it would have been like $30 to register a car. And there's no smog. That thing could be blowing all sorts of fucking ddt all over killing flowers and children poison they don't give a fuck and you could even if again taking i took obviously the arizona's driver's test here it was it was astonishing and you only had to do that because you're a fucking scotland yeah but i mean it's just like you know what there i'm a general

person would not have to take a driving test. No, but even if they did, it's like you drive around this like playpen. And then I said, are we going outside? And she went, no, not really. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because there's nothing around. Yeah, they just drive you around this like toy town. Yeah, where would you parallel park?

There's not two cars to have to. Yeah, so, yeah. the park there's not two cars to have to yeah so yeah so uh yeah get get the fucking cult going because you know i'm a cult leader but i'm not like hands-on no it's gonna be like a grass roots cult where i kind of what happened like when a president uh well all right if you guys do the petition drive then maybe i'll run oh i saw those guys yeah you don't want to comment at this stage ross perot or yeah right not a writing but yes yeah you guys go you do all the leg work and if you show you you get me on the ticket or however it works that's what i'm doing you get the fuck down here i'll find you a farmer's

market did you listen to all the podcasts that's where you start doing you get the fuck down here i'll find you a farmer's market did you listen to all the podcasts that's where you start you're gonna start selling shit at farmer's market that's weird and that's how i'll find you i'm like are you here for the cult well you'll be able to tell because why are you selling baby babies the shit that they're selling yes i don't know if you heard that one but we were telling people to come down and just do two weeks if every if people just change their booth every two weeks because the farmer's market has been the same people selling the exact same shit every week and there's only what 15 20 booths and they're the same fucking thing and a lot of them are multiples all right how many

people can be selling scale scale red russian kale and and spinach apparently all of them there's at least three yeah and maybe four farm fresh eggs okay and then and they end up beside each other so you feel like you're fucking one of them over i try to switch i know i know because you see the other kale guy going where do they grow kale in arizona i figure it's bushes there's bushes everywhere really i mean kale it seems i mean it's so leafy and green i figure it's kind of water intensive and therefore you need to have somewhere that a well large water supply i don't know well wherever you're coming from if you're joining the cult bring some shit from there we don't have here yeah uh which is yeah anything so yeah once you

get your driver's license then that's good for 30 years you never have to get another fucking driver's license uh and if you live somewhere else you just say well yeah i live in arizona but i'm visiting here and you're immediately a big shot in the town because there's a kind of a small town so uh you can just be a big shot and once we have everyone fucking registered in bisbee then we can start rigging elections i have to check the legality on this no we've looked at it i uh i think it was the number was like 450 people voted in total really yeah when it's like the city council and stuff so the jason lindstrom election that type of thing oh you get a fucking nice size colton yeah all of a sudden you're tipping elections wow i. I'm the fucking sheriff, you're the mayor.

All sorts of bingos on the city council. Yeah. I remember that. But again, there must be some minimum level you need. Again, I'm sure a statistician could tell us this. You wouldn't even need 450. You just need a certain

amount of people who'd be enough to move the general population in a certain direction if you see what i mean you don't need 60 or 70 to dramatically influence everyone else oh yeah sure so yeah it's uh yeah so you guys could get on that you can buy how cheap are the houses here? Come on. I mean, they're cheap. They could buy one of those, like if that schoolhouse was still available, for instance. You'd put a whole cult in there.

Yeah. That track down on those three mobile homes that you would never know are mobile homes, right? On Douglas Road? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. We could put a bunch of the fucking skids down at the... Right beside the current mayor's house.

Oh, yeah. Broken up. Yeah. We almost bought that once for the baseball players. It's down to like, I think it's at 35,000, but you could get it for probably $5,000 right now. It's all busted. Not only that, again, you could come here and play on the baseball team. Oh, yeah.

The cult. Yeah. The killer termites. The. The killer termites. The Bisbee killer termites. And another group of cult members. I don't know. If you play baseball, get a hold of me. But that's the whole, again,

the Bisbee thing has been very important for the 30 days because nobody's showing up here out of the blue you couldn't do 30 days in the hole in la or fucking boston or you know i don't think i think the fact you're in isolation down here well it's and i knew this for other people where you go hey hey just do what i did well they don't have you know they're not remote people generally. Yes. There's cigarettes facing them wherever they go. They probably work. Half of them probably sell cigarettes. That's a good point.

You're walking around here. You don't see cigarettes. Right. So it's a lot easier for me to not ever leave the house, not work, not do anything. Particularly when you get random gifts sent to you exactly i'm gonna miss the fucking gifts 212 van dyke street bisbee arizona you know what we uh i'm gonna miss the daily podcast too i'm not gonna miss having to do it but i'm gonna miss doing it because a lot of times i have fun a lot of times i just don't have anything to fucking say and we're just pulling

shit out of our ass. Kind of like today. But I do want to say a lot of thank yous because I feel goddamn good today. And I don't know what we're going to do from here. I'm not getting hammered. I get some TV I want to watch. Going to finish my taxes. I'm going to clean up the house. I'm motivated to do things.

That's why we're taping early. Yes, not as much fun as when we tape with a few cocktails in us, but I am having a cocktail, and what am I drinking for the last day? I'm back to basics. I'm back to my drink, which is plastic jug vodka with some club soda and a fresh-squeezed splash of

grapefruit. And, yeah, it's been a while. It's nice to go back. Yeah, you've gone for a loop around the track. It's going to be nice to catch up on the Better Call Saul. Hopefully there's some impractical jokers out there, the funniest fucking show on television. Got to catch up on the Jinx.

By the way, we know. After the first one, I'm so involved. I'm not going to wait to find out. I'm right on Wikipedia. So I knew this story, but you can know this story. I watched the first two before this started. I don't even know what else is out there that I'm missing. Bar rescues I'm behind on.

Did you ever catch up on House of Cards? I know. Never saw House of Cards. I read it stunk somewhere, like really bad. What, the second and the third? Just some review, which who cares? But what the second and the third i'm just some review which who cares but no no the third just the third where he said every character you get into has changed their face and they do everything that you wouldn't think they do and it stinks and which is good

because now i have my sights are set very low a lot of people have told me Ari Shaffir's thing is very good. Oh, I had no idea. He asked me to do that. Yeah, I know. And it's very good. And yeah, I had no idea it was a TV show. I thought he was just doing a show. No, it's yeah.

Or maybe I did know that. Maybe I know he always wanted me to do or is that Duncan Trussell that wanted me to do the graveyard? Oh, I think that's Duncan Trussell. Whatever it was. That is Duncan Trussell that wanted me to do the graveyard? Oh, I think that's Duncan Trussell. Whatever it was. That is Duncan Trussell. Okay. I know Ari Shaffir called me about something. And whatever it was, it was too fucked up or too close to something else I had to do.

And it was also, I think, you were here. And again, you live in Bisbee, Arizona. It involved not being here, I think. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I look forward to seeing that yeah and junior stopka is going to be on last comic stand we talked about that yesterday there's something else i've learned i don't think i will ever uh do a podcast where i say something that i don't say i think i already said this on another podcast. So I'm just going to keep saying stuff and hopefully stop saying, I think I already talked about this, but.

You do wonder because there must be, even in ordinary conversation, there are times you go, have I told you this already? Here's the thing. I listen to Stern all the time. I got satellite radio and I listen to Stern all the time. And I don't remember what he said and if i do remember he said it it's probably you know yeah because he's had this guest before yeah years ago and maybe yeah david spade he's probably talked to him a few times about the

stalker guy that he had his assistant is that spade yeah's Spade. I don't know that story. I'm just using that as an example. I listen and yeah, if he repeats himself, I don't give a fuck. Neither do I. Because again, that actually gets to the heart because Stern's an enjoyable conversationalist to hear. You know, that certain. It's not like I'm telling the transvestite hooker story. Oh, fuck. This eight minute chunk.

God damn it. That's funny. I have. Hey, this is my diet. Do you give a fuck? This is what I've been eating because I have not. I should have weighed myself today, but I pretty much haven't gained. I haven't lost any significant weight, but if I gained, I'm within a pound.

I'm sure. You look a wee bit thinner. I was like 170... 157.6 when I started. And that was not weighing myself first thing in the morning after taking a shit before having a glass of water. Okay.

Your lowest weight. So yeah, I'm around there. But for breakfast, one slice of Dave's Killer Bread, the green package, with egg whites, with spinach, green chili, black olive, and in the egg white with some feta cheese. And then you put that on one slice of turkey on the killer Dave's bread. You got to get that. The sambal olek.

It's the fucking best. It's the same people that put out sriracha, I believe. Really? Sambal olek chili paste. And you spread that on with a little bit of light sour cream to take some of the kick out of it. I like the idea. Be the forefront of something. I've never heard of the kick out of it i like the idea be the forefront of

something i've never heard of the samba olek sambal olek this whole fucking podcast is sponsored by sambal olek it is one of the most unknown uh just google it sambal olek and it's got the fucking rooster there the fucking chicken just like the sriracha has i believe but it's the same distributor it's got to be Hoi Fong Foods or something. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Is it Hoi Fong? I can't remember now.

Hoi Fu Fong Hu? I don't know. It's definitely the same people. Okay. That's a very healthy breakfast. It's very hot. And I also get some of that really hot from the chinky store. That could be a men's health breakfast.

Oh, it's brutally uh i made it for chaley and even his girl ate it with yeah that's the stuff sambal olek the world's tastiest no that's that's sriracha okay right sorry hang on people are writing this down. Stop confusing them. Spell it. S-A-M-B-A-L-O-L-E-K. O-E... What? Well, read it. S-A-M-B-A-L-O-E-L-E-K. O-E-L-E-K.

Ground fresh chili. It's made of chilies with no other additives such as garlic or spices for a more simpler taste is their official description. It's way more simpler than most sauces. It's hoi fong. Come on. That's great English for hoi fong. Oh, yeah, yeah. So here you go.

It's a cooking segment of this podcast. I listened to 29 of these, and I thought it needed a cooking segment Doug Stanhope I Facebooked you how come you didn't respond I don't want it's more of a condiment section because we're focusing on the condiment well it's the

Dave's Killer Bread is the shit I don't fucking like wheat bread there's some things that these need white bread for but most things Dave's Killer Bread it's there's some things that does these need white bread for but most things dave's killer bread it's chunky it makes you feel like you're gonna take a wicked good shit so yeah dave's killer bread and psyllium husk massive shits i've had a lot of response to the psyllium husk that we discussed a lot at the beginning of this podcast psyllium husk capsules

if you really want to shit hard get the raw stuff and just scoop as much of that into a glass of orange juice till it feels like the bottom it's like all pulp now it feels like sawdust pulp and gulp that down but you have to drink a shitload of water after it and you will poop fucking logs foot longs unbelievable logs i get a lot of that on a vegan diet all right well i this i am this is the healthiest i i'm eating is what i'm describing to the people yeah and i feel like i should and i'm not even close to vegan but i'm not eating you know stuff out of a vending machine every day yeah yeah so it feels like i have changed my life completely. Dave's Killer Bread. You smear it with sambal oelek and then smear just a thin layer of light sour cream over that. Just takes a little bit of the edge off.

Now you get a slice of turkey. Now you made your bed. Now you thin slice some tomatoes. Put those down on top of the turkey. You don't want to put the tomatoes under the turkey because then it's going to make the bread soggy. You want to toast that fucking killer day's bread good now you put on uh sliced uh green pepper red pepper and onion make a bed out of that then you put your egg white with the spinach chopped up and the the black olives green chili peppers and you put that on with the feta cheese melted into it.

And then you take a slice of turkey instead of a top slice of bread. You take the sliced turkey. That's why you got to get it sliced kind of thick enough to use it as a top piece of bread. And that'll save you about fucking 90 calories. What we used to call an open sandwich. Yeah. You can eat it open. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It just falls apart with all the yeah. But it's just falls apart with all the fucking vegetables in there. It falls apart easy. So you can squeeze it tight with the top piece of turkey. And there you go. But what I like about that type of thing, and by the way,

I think it'd be great if people send us their pictures of that sandwich. Yeah, sure. Tweet them at us. Yeah. A lot of people don't use Twitter, and I'm sorry, but... It's the thing.

Twitter's... Fucking Facebook always confuses or irritates me, and I'm better off not doing that. And a healthy diet and heavy drinking, they're not mutually exclusive. I remember I used to talk to you about why I used to eat what I ate, because it allowed me to drink more. Yeah. You know,

yeah, you're not, you don't go cause you go on vegan or vegetarian kicks all the time. And it's just, all right, now I can fuck off in other areas. Exactly. But this is the burg used to have a joke about that.

Wouldn't it be great if you could eat something good with something shitty and it would offset. Oh, I'm doing it. Hor injustice but uh you eat a potato chip and then you the bouncer in your stomach says no you can't come in well no he's with me says a carrot again i'm destroying the i but that's the idea i like that uh yeah Oh, and so that's breakfast. And that's a fucking fat sandwich if you make it right. And then for lunch smoothies, here's the smoothie I make.

You put in three or four pieces of asparagus, half a beet, and spinach or kale. And what else? What's the other? Oh, carrot juice. Then you put carrot juice in it and uh i said asparagus and that's for and then you put half an apple half a banana frozen grapes are great frozen grapes and then whatever kind of frozen berries are on sale today it was 97 cent fucking blackberries that we had to do 60 miles round trip to get but we doubled we fucking

hammered them limit four and i go is that four per visit because i made brian come all the way because and bingo and bingo so we all got four of the fucking their sucker bait to get you in oh you get them in with the 97 said blackberries this is at fries at fries in sierra vista and then they're gonna buy other shit that they don't need. That's overpriced. Not us. We're going to fucking, we're going to carpool down to Sierra Vista. And then they go,

Oh, that's four per visit. Okay. We'll be right back. We're going to make another visit. And we just went, bought four more each. And then we had something else that was on sale.

Pineapple and raspberry. Yeah. And she went right back to the same lady. And then she seemed unamused i would have done it a third time just to have a good story for the podcast yeah she didn't seem particularly amused yeah i was hungry for sushi yeah um i like when you can find these wait like when you have the discipline to uh to take the how can you put it to take the lost leading offer and fuck them by like saying oh no i'm only going to buy

this because the whole idea being that people would come in to buy other shit is or get would buy other shit right uh same thing uh with like golden corral buffet okay the whole thing is this much a pound or whole foods with their salad yeah okay there's something on here that's they're selling for less because you're getting a bunch of shit and i just want to get that yeah just just keep stocking up because you're gonna lose fucking money i'm gonna fuck you yeah like my favorite was that i had this credit card i still have it i think for uh for i think it's banana republic or something i got some offer and they send you these mailers and say we'll give you 15 dollars

of credit if you use the credit card in four non-banana non-banana republic brands or outlets and i what i worked out was in la you can pay the very minimum for a parking meter, which is 25 cents, with your credit card. So I just walked down Fairfax one morning when the offer was on and paid 25 cents into a row of credit cards, and I got $10 credit at Banana Republic. Now, you might think that's a labor-intensive way to get a T-shirt, Brian, but I think I fucked the system you did yeah i you know there was something else on this subject where i said if we hired a guy like all those people

that go hey if you ever need a guy to do like roadie work you need a flunky. I'll go for cheap. Yeah. You don't even have to pay me. Just put me up and pay for my meals. If I were to hire someone, that would be a consideration. I'm not hiring anyone. But if there were a position I'd want someone to fill, it's just someone to focus on the credit cards with the air miles.

Okay, are we getting the best deal? Now, what about hotels? There's so many fucking hotels. Airlines are easy. There's only three of them, basically. They're all grouped up. There's more than three, but one has the same miles as the other. And by the way, people should know before they consider writing in in we do kind of know what we're talking about in this area

you know i mean you know you and i book a lot of a fuck of a lot of travel so we're kind of familiar with a lot of the deep stuff that other people aren't familiar brian you're way better than me uh i do but i don't i i never get around hotels mostly because there's no fucking room in your wallet yeah like to keep that many cards there's so many chains or groups there's starwood preferred and then there's whatever the hyatt is they have their own and comfort inns have another group of uh and holiday and express club i think they might be part of IHG, which is the, I've got their MasterCard. Yeah.

The good thing about any of the credit cards for hotels is that for most of them, like the IHG or the Marriott or Starwoods, you immediately get entry into their upper level membership. That's why I'd want, that would be my flunky. That would be my girl Friday would be, all right, this is what you do. Have I burned out all my bonus miles on that card? Then fucking cut it up.

And which card can we get now that's going to give me, okay, after you spend the first $5,000, you're going to get 50,000 frequent flyer miles. And how many, okay, you got to get the one that goes towards status as well as frequent flyer miles. And do you know all that shit? How about which one includes, if I'm going to take this, should I use miles on this? Because I'm going to fly him out. What's the best deal? Someone who knows all, not just the travel shit.

I mean, there are some sites that help. Like the one I, here's the thing. There's this thing called Flyer Talk and it's like going into something that's from the Cold War era and people are explaining how to make a phone call to China

from Uzbekistan. It's just too involved and you basically have to learn all their jargon so what i go to is what you might call aggregators of flyer talk people who go into flyer talk and take the best of it and kind of filter out that maybe that's where you'd find the flunky well yeah i've i use this thing called the points guy just to keep me abreast yeah i have that guy on my uh there are other ones but the point is you know yeah it's good because you're nothing feels better than

fucking the system but the points guy does he do you know uh hotels yes he does yes he does he covers hotel credit cards i've been on the site and i'm like all right there's no way to catch up from scratch well again he again in defense of the points guy.com he does have like he he doesn't take that much you just go in and it says beginner's guide to delta or things like that like how to you know find the best deals what credit cards to get thing i he's pretty good at it i i i use expedia just because that's where my credit cards like like, I got my shit there. Yeah. And so, oh, you could get better on Orbitz, but on Orbitz, on Orbitz, can you open that bottle for him?

On Orbitz, I'd have to fucking sit there and log in all my credit card information. Southwest Airlines. I go, I fucking, not only do I hate traveling with them, because they're so, it's kind of great and kind of awful at the same time. The only thing I like about Southwest is, again, on this trip down to Tucson, I knew that my end date was kind of flexible. I just love that you can just cancel and rebook with the credit you've already paid and it's immediate. I don't have to – if you know you're going to be there's a strong chance you're going to be

changing your flight southwest is the best they're not that they're they're not that competitive like they used to be they're not they used to be the low fare no they're not fucking low fare anymore but again you're higher a lot yeah but if again if and if but if you know you're going to be carrying a lot of shit the fact you get two free bags true the free bags does uh yeah factor in but uh i have status on two of the three major airlines i wish fucking american slash us air wasn't so fucking awful they are terrible they're so bad and that that would be the best fairs out of here to most of the places that i'd want to go like internationally especially yeah like gibraltar i really want to go to gibraltar just because it seems like a weird place it's probably the only

place in europe i really kind of want to go because nobody knows about it like no one over there they do well no one over here like if you said like rock of gibraltar like that's the only thing yes it's a kind of big fucking issue in europe gibraltar because the spanish basically say it's theirs yeah and the english own it and it's just this peninsula yeah but it's part of the uk so famously the ses kills for you know they speak english and it's south enough that it would probably be decent weather oh yes very much so yeah i want to go there and the only thing i can find and it's american and there's nothing i i won't do it i mean i would do it but i don't want to do it i think that's one that american is the only u only US airline that'll get you there.

I'm not fucking burning. That would be 15,000 miles. I'm not going to waste them on an airline I don't fucking use otherwise. Yeah, exactly. I'm getting no... Are we losing the people out there? I don't know. Hey, you and Smartfuck Magazine guy. Hey, you high rollers.

Hey, Diamond and Smartfuck Magazine guy. Hey, you high rollers. Hey, Diamond Elite. Can you talk to the coach people for a while? Now that you're all sober. I love calling myself sober because I am. By comparison. In 30 days, probably there were four nights that I wasn't sober enough to drive. Even when I was like three drink drunk, I was probably sober enough to drive. I was just giddy and silly. Yeah, there's been a few nights.

Well, since you've been here, the last couple were probably well over the wow not well i know this is yeah i love the idea i'm a bad influence last night because i fucking took two xanax i like this is the last night i took two xanax and uh that was the first night i woke up i woke up this morning and i go in bingo's in the kitchen and i go into the we're about to walk the dogs i went to go grab carrots and i look at the sabra hummus thing and it's smashed like and i go what the fuck happened to the goddamn hummus i'm about to blame her uh-huh and she goes you smashed it in half because you couldn't get the lid on and you got angry and you karate chopped it straight down the middle and then picked up the flattened fucking half empty hummus

and stuck it in the fridge and went there. I think that's what you have to do to get a fucking yellow belt is karate chop hummus. But I was satisfied. I go, well, as long as I was satisfied with the results. Yeah. I went there and I put it in the goddamn fridge. But I don't remember that because I took Xanax.

So that's as drunk as I've been. Do you have a drunk story? No, no. I mean, I got interesting. I went to see Dave Chappelle the other week. All right. That was right. That was a gin store you decided not to tell.

Tell me the Dave Chappelle thing. It was great because he announced this gig in LA and by all accounts on the internet, it sold out in 30 seconds. You know? People were bitching all over the internet.

I was there you know four seconds passed and there was no tickets left um and so again i hadn't i'll be honest it passed me by i didn't even know about it was happening then i saw a friend of ours uh contacted me said hey i've got tickets for tonight i was like huh okay sure yeah i'll come um so you turn up at the the dave chapelle's and they're doing it at this uh this venue downtown uh like the address is sunset boulevard and you're thinking oh okay it's beyond echo park it's like way down the middle of fucking nowhere way east yeah all right and uh and it's in this fucking you know dance club venue or something so again it's a standing venue that's not an issue but they again you know you said it you know it's

going to be a fucking packed venue they had and i'm not joking one till working to process every single drink order. And again, what's infuriating is the fact that you're basically saying, hey, we've got enough money. We don't need any more money. Why would we want more money? And then you've got like... We don't care if you're enjoying yourself. You've got libations. You had a three...

You had lines of 20... Probably had three lines of 20 people with three bartenders all waiting for the same till so that's what we so i'm with my i'm with my friend john travis who's a lovely guy and uh we get to the front and we place our order and i'm i've already said listen we're buying a double order for sure and then we what we do though is we kind of just step to one side and stay at the bar and just hang there and the bartenders are confused by that and

they just keep serving us as if we're still at the front of the line and and again and both and i are like this is crazy and then other came behind us, but they didn't start a line. They just saw we were still getting served. So two, like a girl, there's a girl and this guy separately came up and like, are you getting served here? And we went, yeah. And just because you've asked, we're going to include you in our little group now. And nobody in either of any of the other lines who are queuing did anything they just saw us as a like people standing at the bar drinking and didn't think that's

fucking odd and weird anyway so we just stayed there and again the problem was i was now so intoxicated with just the idea of being at the front of the bar while everyone else is having to wait. You're constantly next. I was fucking hammered. But it was a phenomenal gig. I forget. Yeah, I mean, Chappelle himself. I mean, have you seen him?

Yeah, I worked with him once in the punchline in San Francisco. Again, he's got that effortless thing that you, well, you have, I feel. But he's just throwing things out and he's just, he's talking in a way that is just enjoyable. You know? He has that. You know? It was phenomenal. He's one of those guys that talks and you're immediately into it. Joey Diaz. He's one of those guys that talks and you're immediately into it.

Joey Diaz, he's one of those guys that even if he's not saying something funny, he's saying it like. And before that, Jeff Ross was out doing, again, one of the reasons that the super tight security of like, if we see you taking out your mobile phone, you're throwing you out. I mean, not even making asking if you're throwing your i mean not i mean like not even making asking if yeah you're leaving again because jeff ross was trying out his jokes for the roast of justin bieber i suspect that's why the security was there because of that anyway jeff ross was fantastic his fucking jokes

were amazing and then there was a first his name tony what's his name well tell us the jokes i can't i'm kidding all right they um the uh and then there's i forget his name well tell us the joke i can't i'm kidding all right they um the uh and then there's i forget his name tony from the death squad uh hinchcliffe yeah fucking amazing oh yeah oh my god he was brilliant wow like i can't wait to fucking get to la and just watch comedy because it's been so long since i've actually sat around, and especially now that I'm not fucking smoking. Little things like that where you go, oh, shit, there's like a whole other world open to me. Because the idea of sitting in a room with a cocktail,

I'm up, if I'm at a bar, I'm out every 15 minutes at least. So that's, okay, that's the question. No, but that's the question then. But do you feel that you're at that point where it's taken? Like you could go to a comedy club and not be thinking about cigarettes? Yes, definitely. I could definitely go

anywhere you don't smoke. The problem is, would I smoke if I were in a place where you could? Probably a little bit, probably, right now. So yeah, I'll stay away from those places for now. Yeah. But I don't feel any compunction where I have to smoke, and I could sit and actually watch comedy, which is great.

And so I'll have to get back to that Los Angeles soon. Yeah, the Los Angeles. Anyway, I alluded to this. i don't know if i finished my sentence after every podcast i realized ah fuck i never finished my sentence some guy some guy did notice that remember the when the guy came here and i was all weirded out and paranoid thinking the guy in the rider truck was here to fucking blow me up i remember that one uh yo i i said because he knew the dog's name oh and that sounded like that was weird to me and then i never got back to the part where he didn't know the dog's name at all oh uh he was

just saying something dog. Yeah, dog. Whatever he's saying, it sounded from inside, hiding behind the door with a fake gun. Uh-huh. That's one thing I've learned in the 30-day rehab. You know what? Might as well just go ahead and get the real 9mm rather than one that looks exactly like a 9mm that shoots BBs cockeyed.

If you're going to need a gun. Yeah. Yeah, you don't need one that's just gonna get you killed for pulling it i know yeah so yeah that guy was never actually saying my dog's name i was in my paranoid state hearing ichabod but he was a nice dog or whatever oh i see i muff, sounded like Ichabod. But that one guy that fucking... Hey, plot error. There's something wrong with the plot here. But I thought of that afterwards.

I do every podcast. Fuck, I started that sentence, never finished it. Now I can't remember what sentence I never finished. Jerry, you talk while I... Well, see, again, I thought earlier on I'd give you a segue to go into gifts, but then you kind of decided to skirt right into that. Do we have gifts? Bingo got something nice,

but I don't get shit today. Pennies? Someone sent Bingo a nice letter with some turquoise band-aids for her skull, which is healed up, but it's still nice. She'll fucking bang her head again. If she doesn't, I will.

She'll have a chance to use the blue band-aids for her noggin. People love you, Bingo. They do. They do. People are always asking about Bingo. Chad Shank makes everything better. These are just some notes of things that I've learned in 30 days. Every time Chad Shank's on the podcast, it everything better. These are just some notes of things that I've learned in 30 days.

Every time Chad Shanks on the podcast, it's better. He does seem he's got a great presence. Yeah. And what is interesting is when you live in LA and you're surrounded by people who are all competing to get somewhere and none of them have whatever the fuck it is he's got, and none of them have whatever the fuck it is he's got. You know, it's like how is culture being shortchanged by the mass drive of ambition

that propels people who don't have anything? Only thing, I'm at a place where I really like going back to LA except for LAX, which is probably the worst airport I ever have to deal with. I fucking hate LAX. It's a piece of shit. But other than that, I like going to LA. I like going to the fucking comedy store.

I like hitting the improv. Yeah. I love hitting the Melrose and going to the vintage shops. Nobody ever says to me ever, let's go to hang out at the laugh factory yeah nobody well i guess i'm sure they have their their lot but yeah they're it's interesting you know yeah yeah they're douches nor does anyone ever say uh let's go to the sky bar what the fuck's that so oh the standard on the mondrian it used to be a hot shit back oh yeah in the 90 used to be the hot shit back then. Oh, yeah. In the 90s, it was the hot shit. Yeah, it's a douchebag club.

The Laugh Factory, kind of a douchebag club. I don't know anyone other than, I know Dane Cook. He kind of, and I'm not calling it a douchebag club because of Dane Cook, but he was the only guy I ever knew that was his domain. He's got a relationship. If it's a place he's always liked. There was no comic that was in our social circle.

And that's a very extended and distended group. But there's no comics that I knew personally that were like, oh, you're at the Laugh Factory? That's weird because everyone else I know is either at the Improv or at Comedy Store or at some

fucked up club in a Ramada Inn lounge on a Tuesday. And also, crucially, both the Comedy Store and the Improv is very easy to hang out and smoke. Yeah. They both have a place you can hang, a bar you can hang at and not. Yeah. Yeah. There's,

they both have a place you can hang out or you can hang out and not be in the show. I don't know what I mean. Yeah. The lab factory. No, you have to be in the, you're either in the show or you're in the sidewalk. Yeah.

Comedy store has a great bar out front. That's such a great place. It is a great place. And the improv has a great bar and you're not in the showroom. And I think they're going to make, I think they're going to, they're going to make more of that improv, the outdoor area. I think they're going to actually improve it. Yeah.

Again, I look forward to coming back. I do have some shit I have to be working on when I get back from my two-week aftercare. I have two weeks of aftercare now that I'm out, which means me getting the fuck out of here and seeing some people and going some different places. And then April and May, I'm going to have some shit I got to work on. So I will actually be

back in a pseudo 30 days in the hole for five, six, seven weeks there. Yeah. Working on some shit. So I will be podcasting more. That's what I was alluding to earlier. I don't know that it'll be daily,

but yeah, I'm going to podcast a lot more because I really enjoy it and it makes me take down notes and it makes me focus. And I'm glad for those of you who are enjoying it. Chaley says the numbers are definitely up. And yeah, I'll put more effort into it i'll play more weird songs i'll even listen to some of your songs someone sent me this

fucking i almost never listened to your things that you send me but i did listen to uh the uh friends of uh shit uh yeah i know you're screaming at your radio get it something fucking ah god damn it martin dean martinez friends of dean martinez okay uh and he does this like really uh dark kind of uh jazz without right and it's yeah that's interesting yeah someone the guy we pounded on perry adams i think his name is i can't even remember why we were fucking with you that day. But you sent me, I asked people to send classical music. Just anything I can buy in bulk that is just non-invasive background music. And Perry Adams just fired away.

This is a classical thing I bought. It's 50 of the best classical songs ever. And I'm like, yeah, Flight of the Valkyries and Beethoven's Fifth. They're not really what I'd call non-invasive mood music. No, no, no. Have you never liked electronic music? No, I don't. I was going gonna let you listen

to that thing someone sent me this thing and i like why would you send this to me and uh i don't have it and it has no it does have a title if you can find it it's written like i i can't that it's written that small and it's three letters the name of the band is like five letters long tops. And it's written that big on an album cover on the CD. The CD is just nothing. It's like a close-up of nothing. Right. How much did you want this album to look like nothing at all? Imagine a stained glass if you took a picture of stained glass as close as you could

hold it to your face and not really that stained that's an interesting analogy and that's the front and back with nothing other than at one point the smallest lettering you could read with the naked eye as the band's name and it's five letters long. And it's electronic music. It's shit you would hear in kind of a hip hotel lounge. And it's like electronica, but real soft. That place that we stayed in New York. The Bentley? It would be that kind of hipster American psycho if it were made today kind of music.

Okay. But I kind of liked it. I want classical. Hey, thank you for 30 days in the hole. What else do we have? You talk and I'll look at notes. There were something I was going to mention to you.

Oh, motherfucker. You almost spilled it on your laptop. I know, and that's Hanger Vodka. Oh, Hanger Vodka. From California. I do like the Hanger one. And what was the other one they sent us? That was nice.

I like the bottle. It was the Finland Vodka. Finland Vodka. God damn it. I don't remember 42 below oh yes that's quite a decent bottle to look at yes go ahead um something we used to talk about in the drinks industry was that thing about heft how does a bottle feel in your hand and it's very it's amazingly important my favorite recent bottle that I've bought is, and I forget what the fucking, I don't think it's got a brand. It's just Iceland vodka. And the fucking,

the weight of that bottle in your hand, it's just magnificent. There's nothing, there's nothing exceptional. Do you know the name? I think it's just Iceland vodka. I've forgotten it now, but I actually bought it.

I actually was in Ralph's and it was like, holy fuck. It's a perfectly simple bottle and you pick it up it's one of those bottles you just actually just want to hold it gives you a pleasure just holding it and again you can see scandinavian design people might quibble that iceland's in scandinavia i'd argue the point but um you know, I've been eating the Iceland, the fish eggs, the lump fish caviar and the capelin. I know the capelin black caviar is from Iceland. I think that I would, Iceland, I would buy anything.

Like, if I could get it in town, I should have looked at a brand name because honestly fish eggs lumpfish caviar has been with me throughout this entire i've gone through at least uh 30 jars i think of two ounce jars of lumpfish caviar i'm eating like a jar and a half a day of that shit. I'm going to assume it's fairly healthy. We looked at the amount of fat, carbs, just nothing. I think it was, what was it? For calories, for a two-ounce jar, which is a whole jar, four servings, total is 60 calories. Exactly.

the whole jar four servings total is 60 calories exactly the only problem is it's 104 percent of your daily sodium that's why you eat it it's salty as fucking yeah and i get those little thin crackers from safeway which you eat 20 of them to equals the same as one you know 20 is the same as one serving of cars table crackers and hummus. It's good for you. By the way, it's Reka. Like Reykjavik. R-E-Y-K-A. Icelandic vodka. The

bottle is the dog's bollocks. It's the mutt's nuts. It's the cat's pajamas. It's everything you'd want a bottle to be. I used to be marketer controller of McCallum Motley I'm looking over your shoulder at your iPad I don't dig the bottle that much I like the hanger one

and I like the 42 below they're simple they're clear I do like the fucking deep eddy can't find the deep eddy out here send me a case I'll be all over you I'll be a deep eddy man you know what's

something I find very offensive uh when I was in your one of your local liquor stores uh this um contrivance of moonshine that is basically manufactured by companies it's like that is not what moonshine is yeah yeah that that happened right around we first had that moonshine brought to us at the show in atlanta at that theater yeah closed and we started passing it around and it went fucking that whole show went chaos and people are chugging it and it's like in a cartoon gallon bottle from i've always remembered that description of that show with the moonshine. Oh my god. When you see moonshine on store shelves now and it's labeled

moonshine, it's like, no! That's the opposite of moonshine. People throwing themselves out because you suggest it. Yeah. And they don't argue with you. Yeah. Thank you, sir. Yeah. okay, so coming up for the rest of the year,

obviously we're coming to Canada. Hey, this is one of these things that bothers me, and Brian and I argue about it all the time, but the brown paper tickets have sold out. We have a small allotment for Toronto. And so we get as many as they'll let us sell via brown paper tickets. We've sold them. And then they're gone.

And then you have to go through and then you get to get fucked by the ticketing fee through their people. So ours are gone. And then I get tweets going, oh, shit, you're sold out in Toronto. No, just the brown paper tickets are. And we changed all the links. There's no way they're... However it works, I don't know.

But I don't want people thinking that it's sold out yet. It will be, so get them. But get them through them and get fucked on that ticket thing. Yeah. We try to avoid it, believe me. It's not like I don't try every fucking angle. But sometimes you get fucked. The alternative is a 900 seat standing room with fucking.

Get the fuck out from under my goddamn feet. There's plenty of places. Why do you have to sit where I'm going to step on your leg? And yeah, Brian, did you see that one in the email today about playing somewhere in Eastern Europe? Yeah, I saw two. There's two that I saw today. I saw one.

Was it Bulgaria? That was the one. You know how I know this? Somehow my phone is set up. I have so many fucking things on this new stupid fucking phone. I can't wait. Next time we go to Sierra Vista i'm gonna stop i'm gonna fucking go to the at&t store and i'm like you fixed this shit i got some download that now when i hit the

button that's supposed to take me to my home screen yeah now it starts opens up a hey google speak to google no i want my home screen and there's no way to get it you have to like turn your phone off to fucking get back to it oh no there was yeah there was a i forget it was somebody from sofia or bulgaria which i think is the same thing um and then that's what i know that's what i wanted to finish i get facebook like facebook tells me oh so and so has contacted you first of all i don't read facebook and i want to yell at my phone i don't fucking read facebook how do you get this off but you can read like the beginning and this yeah it was the bulgaria guy i'm a comic in bulgaria and i would like to and bulgaria sounds funny to fucking play yeah too bad i don't check facebook and you don't read on my facebook they don't but he has contact

us through the other legitimate source. Good. And another one was from Tel Aviv, which I'm sure you'll be. No, no fucking way. No, fuck you. Fuck you. I would play a concentration camp before I'd actually go into the fucking heart of the beast and encourage you to live in that fucking filth hole. Beat it, Joes. Get out of there.

How dare you? You're supposed to be the smart ones in this, right? You fucking bagel fiends. You're the fucking bright ones. You're the ones with brains. Move the fuck out of there. Well, they're not going to move out, Doug. Well, yes, they will.

No, they won't. They will if I say so on the podcast. No, they won't. I'm a fucking cult leader. What do you do? You manage one comic? Yeah. You have a stable of one?

Yeah, but I also read Spartan Fuck Magazine. I can guarantee that is a real problem. I have Derek. I can count him as a cult member right now. I have Just Jen. She's a cult member. Sweats through her fucking shirts In winter

This is like the beginning of Kickstart but with a happy ending No sorry kick ass I can't remember what movies or what Did I cut you off in your point No no I just I think I think Tel Aviv would be fun

No I don't think anywhere in the Middle East would be fun at all. Yeah. For any reason. I wasn't going to go with you. No, I think you can meet me somewhere. I want to go to Cape Verde, but I don't know anything about it. That would be an idea. For all the Dunkstand fans in Israel.

We'll play a gig somewhere they can get a ferry to. Well, you'd have to. That's off the coast of West Africa, so you'd have to travel through the No, they could go out into the fucking Med. You travel the Sahara. You go through

Timbuktu, Mali. We could get a get in Cyprus. Plenty of fun there. Then you dance your way through fucking Sierra Leone with all your plastic gloves on and your breather. You get through wherever. All the Ebola states. And then you take a boat ferry to Cape Verde.

I don't remember the town names, but SID is the major airport. Yes. So flying to SID. I don't know. I can't find anything out above Cape Verde, but islands off of Africa. That sounds great. I think, is it not a Portuguese colony? The only American flight

that goes there is that one of the places people that was involved in rendition Portuguese yeah definitely they speak Portuguese my point being was that one of those places was that a CIA black site I think it might have been really yeah

well we're going to go free the the slaves of the CIA. What do you call them? What else do you have to get through? I have nothing. We're ready to close. Oh, are we? Right.

Okay. I want to hear your fucking. I'm going to tell you my favorite songs that I know you guys. We're going to close strong. But. Sorry. Did we stop? Do songs come before Word of the Day?

Oh, Word of the Day. The Word of the Day. We have no sponsor for the Word of the Day. Wait, who did I say the big sponsor is for the entire podcast? Fish eggs? No, it was... Who was it? It was the fucking sauce.

This chili sauce. Oh, yeah. Sambal Olek and fish eggs. Any kind of lump fish caviar. Generic. The black lump fish caviar I like better than the red, even though it's the same thing. Just that food coloring tastes better to me.

Yeah. See, I panicked at first. Like, giving out my songs, I know I'm going to get shit. So I panicked, and I hit them hard right off the bat in podcast one. Saul Williams, List of Demands. That was a great song. It's a fucking badass song. How do you know that one?

I'll tell you how I know that, as well as Mansion on the Hill by Alabama 3. I know what that is. It's from, and there's other great songs on that soundtrack. It was a documentary about the gang leader in Manchester. Oh, yes. I remember. It has a twist. I don't even want to say it in case you guys look it up out there.

It's a very something extraordinary gangster or a gentleman gangster some fucking it's a legendary gangster in Manchester documentary Google that you'll find it but most people know Alabama three because they did the Sopranos team yeah they're from Brixton in London all right they're fucking

great songs and both of those songs I found on that but I still my favorite like just for fucking ass kicking, pre-show playlist on an iPod. Yeah. Fucking hot chocolate. Everyone's a winner.

Yeah. See, if Chaley could just plug the piece of that in right now, but he can't. Chaley's out selling fucking plastic spiders for haunted houses and so you're gonna have to google if you haven't heard it already everyone's a winner and uh so yeah tell me your favorite hey flirting with disaster by molly hatchett maybe not your favorite but i'm glad i got it in the 30 days because the drummer and that that song is fucking drums make that song drum fucking drums make that song.

The drums carry the song Flirtin' with Disaster. And their drummer just died two days ago. So, yeah, I'm glad I included that. Canned Heat Blues, no one's going to vote for that. Mike O'Connell, but that's a hilarious, cool song. So here's the song that's going to close it all out unless you add anything else. Oh, wait. The word of the day. Oh, you're the word of the day.

Oh, make them wait for that fucking song. Word of the day. Word of the day. And I just came up with this in the car coming back from. You came up with the word of the day. No. Yeah. Well, we were pitching.

Yes. All right. How about what we just throw out our favorite words? Yeah. Yeah. Yours bingos about what we just throw out our favorite words? Yeah. Yours bingos already was yesterday. Penultimate. And we used it.

And I just threw out. I always love sacrosanct is one of them. I use that in my act all the time. The one that you told me. Smart Fuck Magazine. Remember? You go, did you know that this is- Oh, serendipitous. Serendipitous.

Right. Serendipitous does not mean luck. Serendipitous means a happy accident while trying to figure out something else. Yeah. Well, you're on the right road. And if you hadn't been on that road, you wouldn't have had the accident.

Yeah. You're trying to cure cancer, and you figured out how to make lsd of course you realize a lot of people have been very confused there because your imitation of me is so precise that i thought that's the same person speaking exactly bizarre in fact they like me well they like me doing you better than you. Oh, I agree. They go, oh, yo, it sounds so much more lovable. And they also like me, Amy Bingo Bingo. Oh, Bingo, get off the mic. Get off the mic, Bingo. They enjoy my voice.

Sometimes I just gnaw my fingernails, and I eat it down to where my elbow's resting in a big cream cheesecake. And I eat it down to where my elbow's resting in a big cream cheesecake. My favorite word, in case anyone's interested, was mellifluous. And that means? Kind of melodic and sing-songy, possibly, but something that sounds musical when you're talking. Say, mellifluous, to me, sounds like someone shady or shifty.

He's very mellifluous. Don't trust him, he's mellifluous to me sounds like someone shady or shifty he's very mellifluous don't trust him he's mellifluous yeah it sounds yeah and if you didn't like music that'd be a good thing to say and you said this word that i threw out is one of my favorite words and then i said but we have to make sure it's part of roger's thesaurus words for intellectuals that book get that for your friends yeah do you're only your intellectual friends you find this fucking book in a retard's Words for Intellectuals. That book, get that for your friends. Yeah, do. You're only your intellectual friends. You find this fucking book in a retard's house. You give your stupid idiot friend Roger's thesaurus of words for intellectuals, Roger and his people will find you.

And they'll fucking yank your friend out by his giant oversized ear and go, is this what you call an intellectual i'm roger i i want you don't give my books to morons sir roger uh send me my check okay yeah this is uh lugubrious that's the fucking word of the day lugubrious lugubrious i've been saying it without knowing what it meant a lot lately lugubrious what does it mean i don't know i'm gonna have to look it back up but you said it's it's like it sounds it's mournful in the extreme i like your definition better when you just knew it. Yeah.

But the Roger says, Mournful in the extreme, and the sentence they use it in, you may consider Stephen's poems dark, but to me, they're simply lugubrious. I think a good example of lugubrious would be the opening music that's used in the shining when the car is driving up the side of the fucking lake and it's got and it's fucking it's wendy carlos's rendition

of um oh fucking the funeral march by whatever and uh and it's just it's lugubrious it's just like unremittingly dark that's one time nobody listening is screaming at their radio to correct you. It's the music that's going as they're going up the thing. It's Wendy Curtis' thing. It's a march at the funeral, and no one's going, It's a thing! No, they're going, Who fucking cares? Anyway.

No, anyway, hey, here's the closing song that is lugubrious for the entire 30 days. Yell out your favorite, but make sure you hear them all. And this is a lugubrious song. How else could you close or begin or do a 30-day tin can rehab, 30 days in the hole, without having Warren Zevon, my shit's fucked up. Enjoy and thank you. Well, I went to the doctor.

I said, I'm feeling kind of rough. Let me break it to you, son. Your shit's fucked up. I said, my shit's fucked up. Well, I don't see how. He said, the shit that used to work won't work now. I had a dream.

Aw, shucks, oh well. Now it's all fucked up. It's shot up to hell. Yeah, my shit's fucked up. It has to happen to the best of us. Rich folks suffer like the rest of us. It'll happen to you. That amazing grace Thought I passed you by

You wake up every day And you start to cry You wanna die But you just can't quit Let me break it on down It's the fucked up shit Yeah, my shit's fucked up Fucked up Thank you.