The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Doug Stanhope's Short Shelf Life Podcast: Steve Harvey

Episode Date: May 16, 2017

The Short Shelf Life Podcast with Doug Stanhope and Chad Shank.Doug defends Steve Harvey's Memo.Recorded May 15 2017 in Bisbee, AZ at the FunHouse with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Chad Shank, & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.Get on Doug's Mailing List to get the latest tour dates and first shot at special event tickets - www.dougstanhope.com- Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.com/storeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

this is the give me some water podcast with doug stanhope and chad shank greg chaley hanging out anyway how about this steve harvey guy we should have these podcasts podcasts where hey uh limited time what do you call that uh this this story's only fresh for a second yeah yeah it's a short second yeah yeah short shelf life podcast hey here's the thing with the steve harvey and we're probably already too late, and we're going to make Chaley stay up all night to put out a 15-minute podcast. And Chaley doesn't know the thing about Steve Harvey, and I read one article. Steve Harvey evidently put out a missive. I get a bigger word than you, but I've been working on a book.

I was just repeating the word I read in the article. Yeah. Hey, tell all my staff they can't look me in the eye or talk to me or try to stop me in a hallway or hijack me coming into my office. And it blew up where it was like the old john melon camp john cougar you first of all fuck you you should always be known as john cougar you took it you can't change it hey demi more you're not demi as later you try to change the pronunciation. Nah, you took it. Suck on it. So walking in the office or in the halls,

no one's supposed to look at him in the eyes? Or talk to him or try to, you know, by the way, or come into the office. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Harvey. Harvey, that dude, as unfunny as he is, tries so much harder than anyone else in the comedy show business to be funny. He fails relentlessly. He just has 85 shows, radio shows. has 85 shows, radio shows. He has all these shows

where he's not funny whatsoever on any level to anybody. The feud guy. Family feud guy. I love that you got it off the description instead of the name. No one has ever said, oh wait, which host of the family feud the hilarious one no he's terrible

but he really is as he touts himself the hardest working man in show business he has a billion and everyone that's riding your coats. I had not a show. And I can't get from the fucking stage to the bar in a 60-seater without people bothering me when I just want to fucking have a drink and decompress. And then Chaley's going, you're going to sign some a drink and decompress. And then Chaley's going, you're going to sign some shit at the merch booth. Don't make eye contact with me. I'm defending Steve Harvey as unfunny and ludicrously overambitious as he is. Yeah, fucking leave him alone.

You're a PA. you get him cokes don't pitch him a fucking script don't tell him like i get this on email and i just delete it i think people's people's uh fan fandom i don't know what the fucking word is overrides the knowledge that you guys are working like it's a it's a very mental job yeah you're not shoveling coal but you're fucking your head is very

busy I would think absolutely they don't look busy but they're working very busy, I would think. Absolutely. Right. I'm trying to focus. They don't look busy, but they're working. Right, right. He's working. That guy's working as he's walking down the hall, I would imagine. I mean, he's preparing for, like you said, a million shitty shows.

And that takes a lot of work. do at best one night in buffalo where i spend a whole day uh what did i fuck up in syracuse and how do i fix it and if i had people at a flying j truck stop going hey hey you know what? I'm so much like you. Just telling me shit. Yes, don't fucking look Steve Harvey in the eye. He has to get back to being unfunny, and he's blaming you for him being unfunny. So, yeah, don't look him in the eye. He's Steve Harvey. Just be happy to have the fucking job.

The guy's really working. What you're saying, I'm shitting on Steve Harvey, but the whole idea, oh, don't look at me and don't talk to me, yeah, don't. It's not your fucking job to talk to Steve Harvey in the hallways. Why does he have to be his own office manager? Why doesn't he get a fucking producer in there to fucking have a meeting

and go, hey, look, guys, hey, he's working. Yeah, they probably don't like him because he puts out memos saying don't look at me. Well, that's the thing. Why is he putting out a fucking memo to be a douchebag when he could just be a douchebag and let someone else say, hey, don't fucking bother him? Well, it's kind of like what I do is I don't say anything until I'm at a breaking point. I go, listen, just get the fuck out of the green room.

Well, last night you were saying help yourself to the vodka. Yeah, I'm being polite. And at some point you have to know to get the fuck out of my head because this is not all stream of conscience. I write shit down. And yeah, we were good friends five or seven years ago. And now you show up, but I'm trying to work out new shit because I have an audience that hopes for new shit.

And then you go, hey, remember that time? Yeah, it's 30 minutes to show time, and I have nothing. Get the fuck out of the green room, but I can't do it. Chad Shank, when we did that Montana run, and everyone thought you were the bodyguard. These are shit shows. Well, that was early on, but that gives me, that's what I was talking about earlier where somebody's like,

you don't realize that you guys are working. I got to see how you change before the show. Like, well, and I guess I got enough fucking awareness to know just to shut up and not talk to you before you're getting there. Like, I could see you go inside your head, and I knew that was, you know, I guess people don't understand that that kind of stuff happens, that you guys are working long before you get out there and start talking. You guys are at work.

I already, several times I say, hey, if you see me before the show, I say, hey, if you see me before the show, because so many times I'm a smoker and I have to smoke outside with you before the show. And that's where I'm trying to focus on remembering bits and how does this fit together? And you're like, hey, man, what's it like? So why don't you ever play fucking Shreveport? Yeah, even just innocuous fucking, I just want to say hi, you know, I just want to say hi. That's where I felt like a bodyguard because I wasn't the bodyguard,

but I did, I had the awareness to where I was like, that man is fucking working, leave him alone so i was trying to deflect people away from you from you know he's not working he's standing there smoking that's the fucking work you motherfuckers and that's one show in flagstaff that's not i have to get to a radio show to family feud to another dumb fucking horrible thing rehearsals for the uh miss universe oh my god whatever that poor cocksucker i don't understand why people that could retire keep doing a million shows and yeah i can shit on steve harvey a million different ways but in this current news story where he says hey uh my staff stop fucking with me when i'm trying to work

i've done that I've done that. I've done that forever. It's in the book. When I read it, I immediately thought of you because I was like, he has to apologize and stuff now. And then there's just more new stories about he apologized. And I was like, what if this was just addressed honestly? Like, yeah, leave me the fuck alone. I'm busy.

Yeah. It's no news story. You painted my fence. I don't want to hear your script idea. It was a buddy movie no no no no I just need some fucking alone time

I have to fucking leave my own house this is fucking chaos all the time I gotta finish a book I'm gonna put out a missive. Leave Steve Harvey alone. Steve Harvey, I know I shit on you a bit,

but it's just not my style of comedy. But you're absolutely fucking right. Hey, just fucking leave me alone. I have 17 shows that no one watches and i have to figure out why he's still punching the clock he's still he's in there every day working start drinking and just do like one show in buffalo that's my advice to you but i i'm honestly on your side. That's a PSA from Doug Stanhope to Steve Harvey.

You're right. So maybe I'll put out a memo, or maybe we'll just put out this PSA. This is the Doug Stanhope PSA in support of Steve Harvey. Whether you like him or not, just get out of his fucking face. I will be the one comedian that supports Steve Harvey. And let's close on a good Steve Harvey bit. And let's close on a good Steve Harvey bit. In lieu of that, we'll just close on.

That's it. Let's put that out. Just Doug Stano PSA about Steve Harvey. Short Shelf Life Podcast. There you go. Yeah. I thought it was good.