The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #001: Andy's Molester

Episode Date: February 16, 2013

Doug Stanhope talks with Andy Andrist about confronting his molester. Interview was conducted Feb 2, 2013 in Bisbee, AZ and includes Chris Castle and Attorney Jay Kirschner.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Yes, Dizzee Kips, Dag Navik Yo, you might hear me make a racket like Wilson Cause I love someone like Rachel Wilson The winter will come, we just have parties inside, it's still fun Pump this, we're bankin', chase your boyfriend, let's have him Rachel Wilson. Yes. The winter will come. We just have parties inside. It's still fun. We jammin'. Pump this. We bankin'. Chase a boyfriend.

Let's have him. We're rowdy. Girls make our judgment cloudy. But when the sun comes out, we're still outkies. We don't want to be lousy or shameless. Everyone, pipe down. It is Super Bowl Saturday. And we're with Andy Andrist.

Saturday. We're with Andy Andrist. We just viewed the footage of the ambush of Andy's child molester. Alleged. No? You don't have to say that. Yeah, I know.

He touched my dick a lot. Also joining us is our attorney. We found him by... We woke up on a bench and we saw this face on the bench. It says, if you need a lawyer, his face, and we go,

let's call that fucking guy. You told me it was a billboard. Here's the back story quickly. Andy Andrus, one of my best friends and fantastic comedian. Last night you did say best friend, but anyway. BFF? What did I say?

Andy was molested when he was a young man, 13, 14-ish. Young boy. In the late 70s. And Andy tracked down his molester in Florida, found out where he lived, and decided he was going to pay him a visit. So I, of course, jumped on board.

And we just watched the footage. We confronted him on a two-camera shoot on a ruse that I had information that I needed to talk to him about his adult daughter in college. His alleged daughter. I don't think he could get it up, yo. But anyway. Yeah, so we confronted the guy, and we just watched the footage again, and it's amazing how moving it still is.

I was still watching that happen. The guy, we still won't mention his name, just for safety right now. Mr. Liver. Let's call him Mr. just for safety right now. Mr. Liver. Let's call him Mr. Liver. Can we call him Mr. Liver? After we confronted him on tape, and he did not deny he molested Andy, he apologized for it. He didn't say he enjoyed it either.

But I know he did. And this footage will be released. Give it a working title. Groomed. Groomed. Groomed. You can call him the bad. The lesser Rooney.

Also joining us is Chris Castles. He was the guy filming. So we got this on tape. The molester brought his Filipino wife and a cop because he was suspicious. That's the way he rolls. And, of course, as soon as he apologized for what he did, the wife falls apart. The cop's going, holy shit. The cop was even saying, yeah, he does deserve an ass beating on the tape.

Yeah, he did. So we get the footage. We're all happy. We're high-fiving because Andy has been talking about this guy for years. And he's made jokes about it in his act. He's talked about, I was molested as a kid. And the guy had hand braces. I could have just walked away.

I don't know if I'm queer. I just like helping people. Because I was a child underwear model with questionable ethics. It took me years to realize the photographer's ethics were askew. You know how you lose touch with an old girlfriend, somebody just let it drop? I'm not that guy. I kept on in my Google search, like, where is this guy? He violated my swimsuit area in 1978.

And I want my innocence back. For me and Andy to be there and actually see this guy and have him collapse and... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not going to comment. I don't have a lawyer. Like, who says that if you're fucking not guilty? If you're in Florida, you should have a lawyer always. So that was a victory for us.

And even the bartender bought us a bottle of champagne. And he gave me a joint. And then he got fired. The clip is available. So a couple weeks later or a month later, we get served with an injunction. You tell it. Now lawyers speak. Don't get too lawyerly because we only have 45 minutes.

It's not a billable hour, by the way. I'll dumb it down for you. Jimmy Kirshner. So he filed what? So he filed what? He filed a lawsuit suing both you and Andy for a bunch of civil counts that would cost you a lot of money if he won it. And in addition, he sought an injunction. That's the way you were looking for it. But we were served

only for the injunction. We got served a half a summons. Even though they had the lawsuit filed in St. Lucie County and they had an injunction, they paid a process server to serve both Andy

and Eugene and Doug in Bisbee, Arizona. Anyhow, both Andy and Eugene and Doug in Bisbee, Arizona. 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona. Anyhow, they got the injunction which prohibited, it stopped Andy and Doug from talking to anybody about any part of this guy who had molested

Andy and gotten away with it 30 years ago. Not only released the footage footage we couldn't even speak his name out loud it would have been it would have been the equivalent uh court-wise of having him touch my dick again i think losing it so so we on the advice of our attorney flew immediately to florida to answer the injunction and then there there was a tête-à-tête between our lawyers. Now, Andy had talked about this on

a podcast earlier and their lawyer was using that. Here's the story. When Andy was molested as a teenager, the molester said, when you graduate high school, I'm going to buy you a car. So the running joke has been, I'm going to go find him

and go get my car. I want a Prius, too. I don't want a 1978 car. I want an updated car. So it's a joke. But they're using that, saying we're trying to extort them. A guy from... I flew from Arizona. These two flew from Oregon, and Frank came

down from Montreal, Canada, all spending thousands of dollars in travel on a whim that we might get a car. That's how that was. That was their lawyer's argument. So so the judge says, well, I want to listen to that podcast. Our lawyer says, according to whatever law you had, fucking you cited your good. You cited your good. So he says, hey, I want you to listen to the whole thing because Andy's a fuck-up, as you can hear from this. Bullshit, alleged fuck-up.

He says, I'll listen to the whole thing, I promise you. And then a week later, the injunction is dropped. They try to serve us with contempt. Anyway, yeah, we won on all counts. And now the footage can be released. And it's available on andyandrus.net. You can watch the teaser for the film that is currently in production. The film that is being made. Doug, by the way, if anybody wants to,

they can go to the St. Lucie County, Florida clerk's office and actually look at the pleadingsings which tell a lot of stories. In the motion to dissolve the injunction, our lawyer had Andy put in all the graphic details of what this guy did to him. It was like writing penthouse forum, only worse.

You know, I never thought I would be dictating this note to my wife. And how many times can you say penis? I mean, it was like a fucking one-eyed snake or, you know, Jimmy the Love Monster. You can't really put that in a court document. So let's back up. That's probably true.

Let's back up to the beginning and tell the story. Let's just call him Pat. So what do you want? We'll get sued by any fucking Pat in the universe. The origins of the... Okay, so your dad is sharing a room in a VA hospital in California and this guy is gonna

oh, he takes a liking to you and you go help him with his video business and then and then it's creepy massages and, you know, the gift buying the fucking, eventually the buying, like we watch like he ruins shit, like fucking

sex and he'd show me porn. Andy, Andy, slow down. What, what? Andy, slow down. Go ahead. Tell the story. He would, he was grooming you. Sure, he, yeah, there was all that.

And he'd give you massages. Sure, yeah, and reach in my pants and try to, I don't know if he couldn't jerk me off or he just wasn't good at it, but he would reach and grab my dick and his limp limp i think he was recovering from injury so maybe he couldn't form a fist uh but he yeah it was molestation and creepy and i couldn't get away really because i was there for the weekend and and this happened over a course of years yeah i kept getting returned gigs you know he was like an uncle like you know but uh he took an interest in me and i had four older brothers my dad was in a wheelchair my mom was a caregiver for my dad so he kind of filled a void and like all of a sudden i got i'm with someone uh as a parent type figure who's

taken me to places and stuff uh to movies, to theme parks and stuff. But he and then he would buy me these sweatsuits and various things. So I was like, you know, in a way he was just like, you know, the term is grooming or whatever. But he was just like, you know, I was his little girlfriend. How old were you uh it started it's the first time i met him was uh uh like i was a fifth grader but he got me down there for the first trip i was a sixth or seventh grader in that summer maybe and he was an ugly fucker hon did you see the tape jesus and he got away with it oh yeah yeah that's the way it is because nobody really really, you know, just from my experience of going, yeah, this guy molested me 30 years later or whatever.

I've been called a lot of things in papers. Well, and to make sense of some of it, his mother was a caregiver for his father. And you were one of five sons. And so it was convenient because it was like, oh, maybe this is a good opportunity for my son. I can't be there for him. So maybe he's going to learn was like, oh, maybe this is a good opportunity for my son. I can't be there for him. So maybe he's going to learn some skills. Well, I did get paid, too. And so it made sense to the parents, and he really

prayed on that vulnerability. I mean, that's what I get from it. Yeah, kind of. That's what pisses me off on that level is like, wow, it's fucking Kenny from South Park. You know, this dude just spotted our desperation, and then I was the one that looked best in hot pants. You did get paid.

He paid you with a jogging suit and gifts. He paid me money to help with his videotaping business. That's what I go. My dad just goes, I'll get school clothes or whatever. I did get school clothes and lots of fucking bad... So your dad didn't

raise any red flags because you were allegedly working for the guy but it was right right money yeah yeah he'd give me a hundred bucks and that was part of the payment for the videotape as i felt i mean i didn't you know how i am with money and gigs i was like oh i'm getting fucking money tonight you know but the but the But the kicker was I would get these extra gratuities. And my brother, I talked to him about it because he went on the first trip or a trip down there. And he said, yeah, he tried to get me in bed with him. He kept begging me to get into bed with him. And then I went on trips.

Your brother, he was the first video helper. Yeah. Went down for a weekend, and what happened? He didn't get rebooked. Well, I remember he said that Spock said, hey, would you want to come sleep in the bed with me? And then Spock said, he said, no, I'm going to sleep on the couch. And he said to us, I'm not a fag, but he was older than you, considerably older.

Here's how my brother pisses me off. He said, when I was talking to him about it, and then he goes, he wondered why I came home with so much money and sweatsuits and stuff. He goes, I guess I didn't put out enough. Your brother went down there for a weekend, and he tried to do the same shit. Well, he was older. He was a few years older. Yeah, and he said, hey, no, but he never told you.

No, I never talked to anybody about all that shit. A lot of that shit. Pat said, well, come sleep in the bed with me. Yeah, you beg him. No way. But he didn't warn you about it. But my brother, no, yeah, kind of a dick. And I understand the origins of the extra level of resentment.

Some of it was he wore my clothes and he had BO. And then he just put them back in my rotation, and then I went to school and people go, wow, that dude has BO. So fuck that shit. I'm expecting Andy to have any linear thought after five straight days of pre-Super Bowl party. Yeah, come on, Ravens.

Never mind, fuck them. The Ravens have won by now. Yeah, they have. So this continued for a few years. But here's what my brother said that pissed me off. He goes, I was talking to him on the phone, and he goes, I wondered why you had all the money and the gifts and stuff. And he goes, I just.

And then he said, I guess I didn't put out enough. And then he's kind of religious. So I go, fuck you. You know, if past did fuck you in the ass and come in your face, I wouldn't have fucking thought any less of you. But, you know, that's how fuck you in the ass and cum in your face I wouldn't have fucking thought any less of you but you know, that's how you talk to religious people. Which is an indication of the kind of humiliation you're dealing with

in this situation. Yeah, I wish my brother would have been better at getting groomed. Suggesting that you couldn't take, you weren't man enough is kind of the implication I feel like what you couldn't have just said no and it's like you were young, how would you know? You know? There was years where I just really didn't even want to look at my dad. And those are years where he he was taken away.

And then when he came back and then I started to build this resentment for him. So things were really never the same with us, only in in good moments here and there. really never the same with us, only in good moments here and there, you know, nobody, I didn't, it was in, you know, it was all right, but it was strained, and it was all because of this one guy that was his random assigned roommate at the hospital in Palo Alto, California. It was like one guy. If he'd have been down the hall, maybe I would have never met him or whatever and i i would have been happy i mean i would have been uh thrilled not to run into this dude

it's 30 years later is there any sense of retribution or no i felt there's moments where i felt really great about because just seeing him the guy looked guilty as hell on the film seeing him as a he's no longer this dude, and I was his little dude. He's now old, gray, and broken. I broke him. Fuck him. And his fucking, you know, his limpy, fucking clumsy technique. What I got out of this...

Groom yourself before you wreck someone else. Watching the videotape again, what I noticed for the first time is when he initially apologizes or says, I have no comment, I don't have a lawyer here, his wife visibly, physically recoils into the cop as though she had some knowledge. Like immediately thought, oh shit, I know this has happened. That's what I, if you watch it again. Well, and also watching the cut. Recognition, I know this has happened. If you watch it again... Watching the cop flip from one side to the other in four and a half minutes. The cop says, do you have ID as soon as he sees me? I don't know if it's on what we have, but there's an angle on the cop flinch.

The cop goes, you're free to go, and then the cop just kind of does that natural, I'm going to pepper spray this pedophile. The cop goes, you're free to go. And then the cop just kind of does that natural, I'm going to pepper spray this pedophile. And the c***er recoils and sits in his chair. Yeah, it feels pretty good. I mean, I got to say, I like that s*** a lot. Fuck it. Yeah, it feels fucking great.

But also, you know, we knew it was going to get litigious like Lance Armstrong. But what was your question? You started to get to that. Do you feel any sense of closure? Yeah, I feel like I could go high-five my dad's grave and go, you know that creepy fuck you didn't know, but I fucked him over, and my dad would be pretty happy. Well, there was that second level. We had the initial feeling of, oh, my God, this is over.

We actually got this guy here. We got it on tape. And that's why I showed up. I didn't want to go because that was the weekend. The Cardinals were playing the Packers. It's a big football day at home. And I'm like, I can't call myself a friend and not show up for this. But Andy will fuck this up so badly if I'm not there.

Andy had plans. He's like, I'm going to go down there. I'm going to put signs up. He's in a gated community. I was going to sign spin. Dress as a Boy Scout. He's in a gated community. If I can't get in there,

I Google Earth, searched it, and see there's a pond that I could swim across to get in. I'm like, there's alligators in those fucking ponds. No, it's a moat. You had a... It's a moat to a castle that I fucked up. Your plans included water landings like D-Day.

Well, I had a golf outfit because it was a golf course. I was jogger. I had a security outfit, a Boy Scout outfit, and I was going to sign spin and send him a picture saying, hey, faggot, you might want to come out and talk now. My roommate gave us some Comcast gear. Child faggot. We were going to go in as a cable guy. I know, you had all these fucking Ocean's Eleven plans.

You get in there and you just call them up and say, I got some information about my daughter. What's he going to say? I don't want to know anything about my daughter. Do you want me to say it? I'll say it. I'm so fucking glad you showed up. I'm glad I was there. You were the Ocean's Eleven.

Not all of us have books. there. You were the Ocean's Eleven. Not all of us have books. Whatever. You were the last piece. Not all of us have books on baiting pedophiles. Yeah, that kind of adds a creepy element to it. We do look like a couple of pranksters that just prey on the weak. Oh, wait, that's them. Never mind.

I was going to say, there was an initial closure, and then when they started with the injunction shit, okay, now we're going fucking legal. On top of that. And then it got expensive. We had Jay Kirshner. Yeah. On top of all of that, the injunction was served.

You flew away from your daughter and your wife on Christmas Day while everyone was bleeped about your mother. Yeah, we did a real abbreviated quick wrap of the Christmas present. And you guys stayed there. That was our Occupy the Barstool for four or five days of waiting. And it was the 31st, our last days there

that we could possibly... I have been with Andy pretty much since... Don't say it like that. I've been hanging out with you. Yo, bro, I've been scarred. Nothing like that. Yeah, we rode together in the car. But I've seen you.

I can honestly, and this is answering a question earlier about closure. Your whole demeanor changed. Andy, for many years, do you remember when you Google searched him? Two, three years ago? Two or three years ago. Yeah, I found a way to it. And I was like, oh, wow, he does exist. He's not just a fantasy figure in a warped brain or whatever.

You found him because he went by his middle name. And then you found out. He did a couple, it looked like a couple name flips. Yeah, so he had changed his name. And you started talking about it. And I noticeably, like, oh, Andy's on tilt. He's like. That's what, yeah, you would think.

You were weirded out by it. By the time you said, you know i'm gonna go find him i'm like yeah yeah i've heard this for two years when you had actually booked plane tickets yeah hey oh shit hey thanks sound exchange yeah that's where the money it was a windfall from words i used to use i talked to jay about it it after I found the guy, and Jay says, oh, he's two years ago. It so happened that the guy lived in the same town as our attorney. Yeah, the guy across the fire pit who stumbled as much as me says, he lives in my town. And I says, this is convenient. Let's get together. The plan is to go hunt down the guy, my molester.

Not hunt, I know where he lives. I want to get him on film. I want to sit him down. I want to talk to him about why he chose me. And I want other people who've been molested to go, oh, yeah, I should look up my guy because they're just sitting around and they've done their damage. They need to be brought out into the light.

Just because you got away with it legally doesn't make it okay. And I want people who've been molested to kind of take the shame and plan it where it belongs on the person who victimized them. And two years later, it actually happened. Now, Chris Castles, you live in Eugene, Oregon with Andy. How did you... Separate places, bro. Come on. How did you get on board with this?

He literally showed up at my house. I was sleeping. I woke up to... He doesn't call. So just the door knocking. I'm in my underpants which makes it appropriate. And I said come in. he smokes my pot

while I get dressed. And then he just started unloading. I go stop. It hit me. It was so early in the morning I couldn't respond. But I did it because I knew he could film not because I found him interesting or romantically hot. I said, stop, Andy.

I go, just let me get some lights and a camera set up and just let's do this on film. Oh, shit. Again, again. I didn't say. And like most of our conversations, I literally just listened for four hours of footage. You sat there for four hours.

Not for four fucking hours. I was like a therapist. I literally just, when he would come to a standstill, I would ask him the next question. And you told me pretty much every detail. It was hard. I even teared up a little bit.

He started jerking off halfway into it. It was really intense. Like I said, I teared up a little bit. There was times where it was so intense. I was teared up watching that fucking footage, I'll be honest. But my serotonin is so dipped from fucking five days of partying. I hope you're not talking about pre-cum yoke.

So then I initially, I was like, after we filmed, I was like, Kickstarter, have you heard of it? Of course, Andy's a Luddite. For those of you who know Andy, he can even dodgeball. He couldn't sign into his own Yahoo mail account. I know, he was a writer for the Man Show and couldn't turn on a laptop. Yeah, he couldn't. Yeah, exactly. But I could do the lap talk.

All the planning, for the most part, was done by Andy, and it was ridiculous. You and Andy with your Comcast fucking... Oh, yeah. We're going to pretend we're cable guys, and we're going to sneak in. Doug, do you remember when the guy said no comment, Andy dumped into Matlock cross-examination mode and got him to admit six or seven things just right in a row. I just wanted to talk to you about, you know, I'm doing a documentary about our relationship, how you got to know my dad at the hospital, about our relationship, how you got to know my dad at the hospital and how you used that to have me come down

and visit you and go on excursions and then the underwear model. Do you want to talk about what happened? Do you want to talk about what happened with Andy? I'm sorry? Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Andy? No.

You don't? Why? Jay liked that. Now, this was interesting. Andy kept saying you molested me, and the guy didn't deny it. And that's actually... In Florida and most places, it's an admission. You can introduce it into court. Like if I say, hey, you F'd my mother, and you say, no, fuck you, and you hit me, that's okay.

You're supposed to do that. And if you don't do it, then the fact that you didn't do it is admissible. So your mother got banged on? Not necessarily the punching part. Did you know my mother? That's funny shit. When you see the footage,

there's no way that you can think anything other than this guy is fucking horribly guilty. Unless you're a reporter from the Registered Guard. I've never seen anybody that guilty and I represent these people for a living. Our lawyer was so happy to represent us. He's like,

usually I have to defend these people. Are you kidding? I love this. I want to talk... Well, there's two things I wanted to say, but Doug Doug we both had yellow legal pads because we were wearing black suits and we had you know shit I was wearing a fucking leisure suit

no you were wearing that black suit no black oh in court I blacked up for court so let's cut to a close. I will say this, though. Andy wanted to bust your balls about the joke you tried to fucking toast master joke to open the fucking trial. Well, I should have been watching the Dolphins game.

But instead, and clink, the fucking court is silent. How does it feel to die as a lawyer? Hey, do what you know. Did you feel like you were also a judge in the courtroom and we were both judging Jay? Our guy versus your guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their guy was taller and better looking. He was tall, dark, and handsome.

When it comes to brain power, he's the lesser Rooney. That's what I say about that. Now, we're fighting the injunction in court and uh our attorney says if you have anything you want to add in write it down on a piece of paper don't talk just slide it to me don't emote don't you you prepped us you woodshedded us for court so so we like we're kind of panicky like if we get called to the stage we're not used to performing sober. It was not your comfort zone.

Oh, no. Yeah, there's that. Well, he didn't. He wouldn't have wanted to testify. We're going to have to bleep that name a thousand times until this documentary comes out. Liver faggot with them shoes. Okay. Oh, yeah.

We'll leave that alone. But at one point. The guy didn't look comfortable either is what I was trying to choose. Okay. We'll leave that alone. But at one point... The guy didn't look comfortable either is what I was trying to say. The molester, he has a Filipino wife who has a weak grasp of the language. But they've been together a while. But he showed up alone.

Oh, in court, yeah. He showed up like a corpse. He had nobody with him. Like a corpse at a funeral when you told it came up in the courtroom that you used this in your act

that you are molested the lesser Rooney brought this up how is that funny and that's when I wrote down Roseanne Barr she talked about her molestation very publicly. And she's a comedian. To give a frame of reference.

A reputable comedian. So the judge could wrap his head around how funny and molested. You get the two things. Yeah. I don't think he knew who she was. Really? How can you not know Roseanne? Hey, he's from Georgia and she's a fat chick.

How could he not know? How could he not know? Hey, he's from Georgia and she's a fat chick. How could he not know? How could he not know? He's just not looking hard enough. You know, you said nobody was there on their side. There actually was. Rooney. Oh, Rooney. Senior Rooney was watching his son fail in court and going, oh, there's all that fucking money.

By the way, Rooney going down the drain. All right. Sorry. Rooney is the other attorneys. Rooney. Going down the drain. Hold on. Sorry, Rooney. Yeah, Rooney is the other attorneys.

This fucking podcast is spiraling out of control, ladies and gentlemen. But we don't have a podcast. Oh, really? This is just bullshit? You know what? Maybe that's the name of my podcast is I don't really have a podcast. I was in the elevator talking to somebody, and that was a fucking podcast. There you go.

More with Andy Andrist on the next podcast, and maybe some of the other characters creeping around this Super Bowl party. No witnesses allowed in this court. AndyAndrus.net. God knows if this fucking tape will ever see the light of day. Stay tuned for part two. The Candyman. It's the Wildest Man. A Candyman. A Candyman. A Candyman.

It's the Wildest Man. A Candyman. A Candyman. A Candyman.