The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #101: Electric Dave & Cedric Pt. 2

Episode Date: October 12, 2015

Part 2 with Electric Dave and Cedric, builders of the Funhouse Studio Bar.Doug's UK TOUR MERCH - http://bit.ly/1KQLuVBDonate to Chaille here. Thanks. Really, Thanks a lot.Recorded Sep. 22, 2015  in the new Funhouse Studio in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Bingo (@bingobingaman), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Electric Dave, Cedric, and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.LINKS -Closing Song, "Your Stupid Dreams" from Mishka Shubaly's new album COWARD'S PATH. Available now at DougStanhope.com and on iTunes.Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

We're on the bar clock. Oh, we have to turn the AC off. Yeah. Hey, let's do 10 seconds of just cricket. Yeah, we have to do 10 seconds of silence. Actually, you know what? Everyone? We don't have to.

The cricket's in there. I can't pull him out. Yeah, good. Good, we're going. Words and all. We're back. Crickets make me nervous. I hate crickets.

I have a similar but different awkward fears and annoyances. I'm from New York City, so I have this cricket thing, right? I don't know if you're familiar with the Marlon Brando line. No. But the crickets make him nervous, right? Like noisy roaches. No, but I see that's the same quote. It's in that movie where his brother is a union guy, and it's called On the Waterfront.

Yes. Crickets make me nervous. But it's true. Mexican cops, not so much. No, actually, for some reason, I had no fear of them. This is part two of the Electric Dave podcast, And now we're getting into... When we left you last, listener, we were at the Mexican border,

the cops searching your car. Were we? No, we weren't. That was off the air. We were in Naco with my buddy who had the chief of police, but I really want to describe one of the rides up to the border with 50 pounds of weed in the car, right? How far were you traveling from like where you got the weed to? Like 500 miles.

All right. It's a long way. And you get stopped by a Mexican cop who wants to search your car. We get stopped by a Mexican checkpoint, and they have the smudge pots. I don't know if you're familiar with those, but they look like bowling balls with a little flame on top. And the Mexicans had these for a long time, and that was their main method of lighting the road or blocking the road. They look like cannonballs or something. It was 1789 in colonial America.

I mean, the Mexicans really didn't get it together until like 15 or 20 years ago, and then they fucking moved up really quick, right? But in the old time, it was like, they have the fucking thing, you know? And it's so dark, you can't even tell you're getting pulled over. You go in and it's like, Jesus, what are those candles on the road? And they pull us over,

and we got 50 pounds of weed in my ranch, 61 ranchero, right? And then we're, and so the guys are like, they come up to the car, me and Keller are in the car, and we they come up to the car, me and Killer in the car. And we got our stuff from the chief of police before we left, right, so we could make it the whole drive, right? So we get pulled over, and the cops, they're actually military guys. And they're saying, get out of the car in Spanish, right?

I can't remember how to say that. But anyway, they're going on and on, get the fuck out of the car, get out of the car. I said, Killer, they're telling us to get out of the car in Spanish, right? I can't remember how to say that, but anyway, they're going on and on. Get the fuck out of the car. I said, killer, tell him to get out of the car. He says, we're not getting out of the fucking car because we've got 50 pounds in the car, right? He says, we're not getting out of the car. And the cops are starting to get a little agitated. We're like going, I said, no comprende

espanol. They're like going, huh? What? Okay. No understando. So he searches your car. So anyhow, at this point, they finally put the M1s on us, whatever they got. The old fucking bolt action things. Yes.

They got those on us, right? Muskets. Muskets. Actually, they're M1s. You've got to remember, Electric Dave Has had to meet These stories out Over decades In Bisbee

So every night It's a new story Yeah No it's the same story More or less No but I'm saying At this time No this is 20 years worth

Oh yeah this is a long time ago I'm trying to like Condense it right So anyhow these guys Pull out these old guns And the guy just pointed at him They pointed at me and Killer And me and Killer says We're not getting out of the car.

I said, Killer, I think we better get out of the fucking car. And we're like high as fuck because we were doing coke just to drive this far, right? And we're smoking pot, but we threw that away, right? All except for the 50 pounds. 50 pounds. Except for the 50 pounds, right? And the sidewalls. I don't have any more personal stuff, man.

So they get us out of the car, and they put Killer like 10 feet over there. They put me over 10 feet over here, and they got these guys pointing these anti-military guns at us, and they're trying to search my ranchero. And I can't remember the name for flashlight, but it's a very common Mexican word. Daluma. El Flashlido.

Stop. Stop. So anyhow. El Flashlido. And I said, oh, yeah, see, yo tengo, and I said, oh yeah, see, Yotungo, and I give him one. And so, and they take that flashlight, and they don't have one.

It's so fucking dark, they get these little fucking candles in the road. And then, they're searching my fucking car, they got guns pointing at us, and I can see Killer, his eyes are red as fuck, and we're both sweating as motherfuckers. We're both just dripping, right? And it's not even that warm, right? You know, it's late at night, you know.

And then they're going through the truck. And they pull the seat forward. And there's 50 pounds of weed stuffed into this 61 Ranchero. And, you know, and they pull the seat forward. And I could smell the weed, right? Because weed, when it's really fresh, smells like flowers, right? It smells like roses or something, right? And we just picked it the day weed, right? Because weed, when it's really fresh, smells like flowers, right? It smells like roses or something, right? And we just picked it the day before, right?

So we wrapped it up in these fucking saran wrap things in the field and stuffed it into the truck. Totally fresh, right? We ended up losing a little bit of weight, but it wasn't a big deal. So anyhow, these guys are like, they're searching our truck and me and Killer. With your flashlight. With my flashlight. And truck and me and Killer. With your flashlight. With my flashlight. And Killer and me are looking at each other going. I don't even think you got to that part.

You got to the. Yeah, I gave him the flashlight. They're searching my truck with my flashlight. And me and Killer are looking at each other with these fucking bloodshot eyes. And Killer's going, should I grab the fucking gun now or not? You know, and then. I mean, that's why I can see that in his eyes because he's a pretty vicious guy right so we just grab the gun now and take these fucking six guys out yeah like deer hunter the the the the the dd mal dd mal scene yeah we can take them all out yeah but we didn't know if there

was bullets in those guns right killer wasn't gardening yeah when he wasn't gardening it was pretty vicious right so so anyhow we're like we're sitting there and we're staring at each other, and we're sweating bullets. And it's late at night, and they're going through the truck, and they flip the truck seat forward. And you could actually, there's like some holes in the body where you could see into the back, and there's weed wrapped in fucking saran wrap stuff back there, right? And the guy reaches down there with the flashlight. I said, okay, here we go. And then he reaches down and he grabs a box of brake shoes that are in a sealed white box.

He picks them up and he shakes them and he puts them back down. And I realized at that point that these guys had no fucking clue. They're looking for valuables? Well, he takes a white box that's sealed and he picks it up and shakes it and puts it back. I said, I have no clue that this fucking truck is following me. They're like brake pads, right? They're brake pads. Or brake shoes at that point.

They're 61, right? You know, so, and then we're like, and I started to relax. I don't know if Killer understood the depth of that thing, but it was like, oh, these guys have no clue. That's what I realized. So, anyhow, we get down, we get done, and we, like, thank them all, and we get back in the truck, get my flashlight back, and say, and we reach down under the dashboard to the rest of the Coke and just like. On the road.

We're on the road again, right? We're going to fast forward to when this becomes a business for you. Okay, so it becomes a business. So I'm going on it like every two weeks. Just weed or Coke? Just weed. I'm just on it like every two weeks. Just weed or Coke? Just weed. I'm just doing the Coke just to get – Coke is additional to deliver weed.

It's a facilitator. Right. Because I drive – it's a 10-hour drive, right? You do it at night mostly on Mexican roads. It's a triple gig. That's the only way people get that, a few of them. Yeah, it's a fucking intense thing at night in Mexican roads on the back roads, right, where there's no white lines on the back roads, right,

where there's no white lines on the edges or in the middles or there's holes in the road everywhere. I mean, it was fucked up back then, right? How often are you doing this? Every two weeks, right? And how much product? Okay, I'm making – Let's go street value. I'm doing 25 grand street value every two weeks. That's what you're making.

Yes. 80s dollars. 80s dollars. Yeah. And so I'm doing this all the time, and it's like every two weeks. And the problem is, in Mexico, I do this used to stop in Mexico in Guaymas and buy all this fish and throw it in the... Because the truck reeked like weed, right?

So I buy all this fish, right? in the... Because the truck reeked like weed, right? So I buy all this fish, right? Perfect. Sorry, but we did this when we were renting cars before we bought the Suburban to go on tour. Tour vans. And now it's a $250 fine for smoking in the van. And I'm like, let's just get some takeout curry or just even a load of shrimp.

Right. And put it right on the transmission tunnel where it heats the fuck up. They don't care about it. It's the specific stink they worry about. And you go, there's no $250 fine for traveling with flounder that's hot. It could be an ex-girlfriend or something. That's a life hack. Hey, guys, this is a life hack.

You're turning some people on to some really good shit. I got to the point where I'd get the fish in Wyomiss and I'd put it in the back. And I borrowed this fishing rod from my neighbor's kid just to cover my whole thing. But it was a fly fishing rod. It was ridiculous because I'm bringing all the seafood back. Well, if they don't understand weed from brake shoes, they don't know a fly fishing rod from – Another time I was in Alamos at the gas station. There was a little store on the square, and I'm in there, and this guy comes up to me,

and he starts talking about fishing to me, and he actually spoke English. He was the sheriff or the cop of the town, and he had a.38 on his side. And I said, oh, yeah, I got some fishing here. But he saw the fly fishing rod, and he totally knew that I was not fishing for those fish with the rod. But he didn't say anything. Hey, shark. Yeah, I opened the thing, and I got all this fucking fish, seafood. I mean, like, sea fish, right?

And he's like, you know, he rolled his eyes. But because Mexicans really don't care, right? Just get the talking fish with the button. Don't worry. Be happy. I should have brought him down. He would have been very popular to trade items. So you're making $25,000 every two weeks.

Yeah, I'm making $50,000 a month. Yeah, so a quarter of a million in today's dollars maybe. You're making a shitload of money for Bisbee, the brokest town in the world. The problem was – What are you doing with the money? Okay. Here's the problem. So my girlfriend is like, let's do all this, spend all this money.

I'm guessing you're not with her anymore. Well, yeah. And I said, we can't spend the money. I said, we can't do it because it'd be so fucking obvious. Because I did this one deal where I traded for this. Is any of this true or are you just doing Johnny Depp's blow? Well,

Johnny did a very good job. His story is Johnny Depp and blow. And he did a great job in that movie because I watched that movie and it made me cry. The first half of it was just about what I did. We would just get people on the street. Can you get us some fucking weed? And then we worked up our way.

So your girlfriend does what? So she's like – I'm sorry. She wants to spend all the money, right? Hang on, Jay. $50,000 in 1980 is worth $153,000 in 2015. Well, this is 1980. This is the late 80s, right?

But still, it was probably $100,000 a month, right? But I'm making $50,000 a month. So I build this bathroom when I have a safe on the floor, right? My buddy is a metal worker, builds this nice safe. And we poured it in the concrete. And our buddy, who's a carpenter, takes one of those fucking vanities from the Home Depot or whatever, and you open the doors, it's got a floor. Well, he makes it so that floor, you push down on it, it slides out, and we put it right over the safe and the floor. I make $1,100 in merch on a week, and I go, I'm going to build the same thing.

Exactly right. It's $1,200 to build. Fuck it. So we build this fucking thing in the floor and we have big padlocks on it. They're all built in there. You can't even get – it's hard to get out of them with a grinder. And so we build this thing in the floor and it turns out a cubic foot of money in $20 bills is only like $450,000, right?

is only like $450,000, right? So I'm like running out of fucking space in this fucking thing. And I was afraid of the hundreds because I figured all the hundreds are phony. So I was giving those back to the Mexicans. And the Mexicans like the hundreds, right? I said, they're all phony probably. I was just being paranoid probably. But I was just like, I don't want these hundreds because I couldn't spend a $100 bill.

And Bisbee, who can break it? Ridiculous back then, you know. And so I gave them all back to the Mexicans to buy the drugs. And so I had all these $20 bills and like a cubic foot of $20 bills is like $450,000. You can get almost half a million dollars in there. And what's your girlfriend doing with them? Well, okay, I forgot the girlfriend problem. Okay, so.

I didn't. Did you try folding them in half? They still take up the same space. Double the space. I don't think things all the way through. Did you vacuum pack them, Dave? We did, actually, some of them, yeah. Because I was shipping stuff, we'd vacuum pack everything.

So how does this go wrong? White smuggler problems. Dave, can I ask you one question? Were you still just driving the stuff over, or had you gotten an airplane? The thing is, we had the airplane, and the whole thing with the airplane was I was flying back and forth, right? Where did you get a pilot's license in this short version? I went to Cochise College, and I told them I wanted to learn to be a drug smuggler. And they said, we'll sign you right up now.

And that was my friend Lee, who ran the program. He signed me right up. He had a special program for drug smugglers. And he said, I'll sign you right up, Dave. I don't think he's kidding. I'm not kidding, but you can edit it if you want. And then the night before I went to prison, I was at the Roca with my girlfriend,

and Lee was there with his girlfriend, and he made us sit with him, and he bought us dinner, right? The night before I went to prison, because I was one of his most successful students ever. All right. Now you're getting way ahead of yourself. He paid with a $100 bill. So you get a pilot's license.

I had a pilot's license. But mostly we – I used the pilot's license in the United States, right? But not so much in Mexico. I used it a few times in Mexico. But mostly just to move money back and forth and to move people around and stuff. They had to do things. Wait, did you build a whole network of people working for you? Well, actually, I did not have a network. I had a pickup network.

So they tried to get me out of conspiracy. Kind of like the way I got this built. Exactly right. You guys did the bar, Sean. Everybody. Exactly. You go to Home Depot with a pickup and you get your network. Everybody's an independent contractor, right?

For as long as they need money and then they're back to the point. And you pick them up and then you do the thing. So they try to get me on conspiracy, but not really with anyone because these guys are all – everyone's a pickup contractor, right? People that cross the border for you are just – they're working right now and it's like – It was all 1099 stuff, right? It was 1099. It was all 1099 stuff.

Independent contractors. Exactly, right. So, I mean, really, they did charge me with a conspiracy, but they never got me with anyone. And like, were you telling your girlfriend you can't spend any money while you're buying a plane? For business purposes. I forgot about that part, but she wanted to spend money. And I was like, you know, I really, at one point I did trade some weed for an Alfa Romeo that I really fucking wanted really bad, right? Legitimate expense.

And then, but I said, well, what am I going to do with this? I can't bring this back to Bisbee because I'll stand out. It's like Carlos buying Escalades, you know? If you're going to drive an Alfa Romeo in Bisbee, you might as well throw hundreds at the fucking necklace peddlers when you walk down the street. I wouldn't be able to pull this off just on the

taxes because I get so confused with taxes that I just overpay and over... I just forget to pay. I did that until I was 33. I just never acknowledged that they exist. You recently filed a 1040, didn't you?

I've been paying taxes the last few years. You don't have to talk about this. Oh, no. When it comes to money like this... Because now I think that when I turn 62, I'm going to get $150 a month. And that's going to be during this podcast. It could be.

You know how many 30 packs of Ducati that is? That's pretty good money in Disney. I always work out the math of I could retire. It's over a six pack a day and I could live on that. Yeah, the booze prices here, when I go to other countries and say that you can get a

handle of vodka for $9. How big is the handle? What's a handle? The 1.75, the big one. Don't worry, you grip it. A handle of vodka for $9? How big is a handle? What's a handle? How big is a handle? The 1.75, the big one. The one where you grip it. The one with a handle on it. Or is this in Russia or something? At Safeway.

Oh, Safeway. Safeway. It's kind of like Russia. Well, Doug, when we go to Canada. Yeah, $49 for the same. $49 for the exact same bottle shape. And Canadians do drink a lot. No, they don't.

But they make a lot more money than we do, I think. Yeah, they don't have any health care worries when their liver goes bad. They get a transplant. They bleed out of the belly button. I'll keep bringing that up. So, okay. So now you're making all this money and your girlfriend. Let's get to how your girlfriend takes this.

She wants me to spend the money. Is she responsible for you going to prison? I don't want to say this because she lives in Bisbee. Really? Tell me off the air who she is. Hold on, peace ass. But she inadvertently gives my phone number to

my connection because me and my connection on the East Coast never had each other's phone number. It was a bizarre arrangement. Good arrangement. It was a totally great arrangement, but he ended up getting busted. But Coast never had each other's phone number. It was a bizarre arrangement. Good arrangement. Sounds good. It was a totally great arrangement, but he ended up getting busted. But we never met each other. I've never met the guy.

You know, so I did know his name was Dave, but when they arrested him, they said it was the biggest arrest in Virginia of the year or something. I said, 50 pounds? I'm like, that's nothing, right? You know, but apparently on the East Coast at that time, the people are not sitting on a thousand pounds or a couple of tons in their fucking safe house

in Tucson, right? Unlike here, right? I would just drive around and look at, go from one house to the other and like, because I got tired of smuggling it, right? Because I was busy with the brewery. So I said, okay. Now you're getting ahead of yourself because the people don't know. You bought the brewery?

Electric Dave. I built the brewery. I was the first brewery in Arizona. Made Electric Dave's beer here. That's the famous beer in Bisbee, Arizona. I didn't know it was built with drug money. What year? I built it in 1988.

Wow. Yes. Wow. Yes. Wow. I was the number 50 brewery in the United States at the time, including Budweiser and Miller and Coors and stuff, right? Yingling and Sam Adams. I'm saying Yingling. Yingling's been there for a long time.

And actually, Sam Adams, yeah, they were there before me because... So was Sam Adams. No, Chris. Barely. Oh, no, actually, I don't know if Sam Adams... Sam Adams actually had a brewery. No, Sam Adams wasn't... No, actually, I don't know if Sam Adams. Sam Adams actually had a brewery. No, Sam Adams wasn't. Sorry, that's my fault. Sorry, my fault.

So you built a brewery with drug money. Brewery is as hard for me as prurient. Brewery. Well, we built the brewery. I can say because I've done it for a long time. Prurient. I haven't been prurient for a long time. So you built it with drug money.

Absolutely. I built in this brewery, and so... But you built the brewery so you could go straight, right? I was trying to do the brewery so I could drop out of the drug business and move on to a straight life. You're trying to turn straight, just like George Young as played by Johnny Depp in Blow. You do what you can, right?

Honestly, if I didn't have a million people to corroborate this story that movie with johnny depp at the time the blow movie the first half of that movie is so right on ripped to me no it didn't rip me off he wasn't the only one doing it there's cocaine cowboys too and a million other. I was actually at a fairly high level because I was dealing honestly with everybody. And so, I mean, my partners did get murdered and stuff, but it wasn't like... Killer got murdered, right? Killer got murdered. How did Killer get murdered?

It was down by... His fan base likes murder. Oh, it does? Okay. And prison, which we'll get to. Mostly murder. My two partners, Jose and Alamos, got murdered. And so I went down to see him.

Killer got murdered down in Platonidas, just south of Los Cocos, just south of... And he had AIDS. He did have AIDS. And he was an intense fucking guy, right? He was the first person I'd met at that age. This was in the 80s, right? He was the first person I'd met at that age. This was in the 80s, right? Death sentence. So I didn't realize, you know, but he had all the...

Okay, so here's how I knew how he had AIDS. It's called carposi sarcoma. He had the carposi sarcoma, right? You're drawing little circles on your arm. So this is how. So me and Killer are down in Alamos, and we go to the whorehouse. We go down to Navajo, and we have our friend write a little note to a taxi cab driver to take us to a whorehouse. We go down to Navajo and we have our friend write a little note to a taxi cab driver to take us to a whorehouse.

Because we said our Spanish is a little limited. So we go down, we take a bus down to Navajo. I think we had money. We took the cab, right? He actually wrote, go to a secluded spot, we'll give you blowjobs. Well, no, he wrote that. Give my friend AIDS, LOL.

So our friend who owned the restaurant that we owed all this money to that we later paid off, he wrote the note to us. So we go down to Navajo and the first cab driver, he says, ah, fuck you. You know what I'm going to say? And he says, get the car, right? So he takes us to this actually pretty cool whorehouse. And one of the girls spoke English really good. It was

really small, so we had to share the same room. I picked the girl. I said, I'll take you because you speak English. Then killer took some other girl that was pretty good looking. He took the bullet for you? He went, no, I'll be with that one.

He's like, I'll get AIDS. Go with that girl. I'll get AIDS. I'll take the one with sores. And I didn't know the killer had AIDS. I just, because I didn't know what that was back then. This was in the late 80s, you know, so I didn't really know, right? So we're

down there in this whorehouse, right? And then there's two little single concrete beds with mattresses on them, you know, because it's Mexico, because everything's made whorehouse, right? And then there's two little single concrete beds with mattresses on them, you know, because it's Mexico, because everything's made out of concrete, right? And I'm fucking the girl that speaks English and we're having a great time.

And then Killer's in the bed next to the other girl and she's like, once he takes his clothes off, because he doesn't have the carposes where the sunlight shows. It's only on the other inside where he's not getting sun. And so she looks at that and this is like... Remember people, if you have AIDS,

hey, sunbathe. Well, this is in the 80s, right? So she looks at him and she says no. And I'm like, what? So then they just kind of snuggle over there in the other bed. I'm fucking the other girl that speaks English and we have a great time. And then it turns out

the killer had AIDS and that girl knew, this whore in Navajo knew what AIDS looked like in 1985 or 6. I mean, that was really early on in the – Front line. I had free offers when we were filming at the Bunny Ranch for the man show for free girls from Dennis Hoff. And I'm going, no, these girls know the difference between a birthmark and a herpes scar.

I'll just watch you while I jerk off. How about that? I don't need a bunch of thumbs down on my profile. I didn't know what AIDS looked like back then. This was like 1986, maybe. Maybe 1986, 85. But this prostitute in Navajo, which is a total backwood, it's like

Sierra Vista of Mexico, right? And it's like sierra vista of mexico right yeah and it's like and she she knew and i'm like wow and then it took me till like a year later before i realized that girl actually knew what was going on right you know so and i have to give her credit i was like now i'm picturing tom hanks in philadelphia as a character in blow hoping on a concrete mattress yeah so how does he die he didn't die of aids no killers the first person i knew that aids and he did not die of aids so we're doing this well we were doing we were we were doing drugs we had this whole deal set up out of um san blas area in Navajo, right? We were going to run the airplane down on the beach and fill it with weed and then fly it up.

And what happened was – Like quickly? Like jump it in there and then get the fuck out? Well, because the way the beach was an isolated beach, we were going to bring it up in pongas onto this isolated beach to where we'd have time to load the plane. Pongas are little boats, right? Pongas are those Mexican fishing boats that are like 20 feet long. So we're going to do it on that and just bring it up from

other locations and bring it to this location that you couldn't get to by road. It's the Endless Podcast! Sorry. How does Killer die? Okay. So anyhow. Did they call him Killer because he killed whores with AIDS?

No, but. I don't know what's going on anymore. I've been drinking too much. What size was the rebar in Killer's concrete shoes? No, actually, Killer ends up. So he picks up this person in Puerto Vallarta for a friend of ours, and he's driving her up to Platonitas. This is before they paved that road.

It was a dirt road. Oh, come on! How much unnecessary detail can you put into a story? Was it the decomposed granite, or was it actually dirt? Yeah. I remember. Was it a dark and story night? It was.

And these guys jumped in the back of the truck, and they pointed the gun in the window, and they said, pull over. And then he stopped, and then they tried to rip the girl who was sitting in the front off her jewelry. And Killer said, fuck you. And he had a gun in the car, but he couldn't find it because it was lost under the fucking floorboard with all this shit. And you gave away your flashlight that once stopped so many years ago. Exactly. He couldn't find the flashlight.

You killed Killer. He reaches over and grabs the fucking .32 caliber and the guy shoots him in the head and he's dead in eight seconds, right?

But then the girl and there was a guy that he'd picked up at the airport in Vallarta and the guy had no fucking clue but he just kept driving

on the dirt road with Killer and he was a good guy. He was a football player sized guy so he picked Killer up who was 6'2 himself and put him in the back of the truck and drove him up but he just kept driving on the dirt road with Killer. And he was a good guy. He was a football player-sized guy, so he picked Killer up, who was 6'2", himself, and put him in the back of the truck and drove him up to the next town.

And then they knew Killer up there, right, because we're locals at that point, right? And so the guy had no clue. He didn't know where he was going. He just drove the road, and he showed up in this town where people knew what had happened, right, because it was the way it is, right? And what did you do? Did you leave Killer's body behind?

We buried him there. I poured a, I poured a bienna. I poured a. Did you do this under like a weird floodlight from a 61, the high beams of a 61 Ranchero? That's exactly how we did the weed though. All right. We're going to take a break. And when we come back electric dave goes to

prison or else back after this cocktail no wait there's more there's more i'm sorry this is like stressful hey uk merch is on sale where Where? In the UK? No. Just on the website. Can't deal with all those problems with selling merch in the UK. But you can get UK t-shirts on the website at DougStanhope.com and posters. Oh, Jim Ether's doing posters too?

We got posters. We have t-shirts. We have everything you need to go out in public naked. A poster to cover your genitals and a t-shirt to cover your voluptuous man top. And go to DougStanhope.com

and look for the merchandise page, My World Tour, asterisk, places that speak English that will still book me. Yeah. Hey, if you're coming to Bisbee, and a lot of people tweet me that they are, if you're not a comic, I don't really pay that much attention.

But if you are staying here, the rule still stands. If you're coming to Bisbee, stay at the Shady Dell if it's available. And I will step away from my book and come have a beer with you. Even Ichabod says, yay on the Shady Dell. TheShadyDell.com. TheShadyDell.com. It's a vintage trailer park. Trailer's done to the nines just like it's 1958.

You're going to love it. I will come down. I'll have cocktails with you. Maybe we burn a steak. I don't know. But stay there. If you're in town and I'm in town, I will see you there. And now back to the podcast already in drudgery.

the podcast already in drudgery. Can you drive it out of here right now? Mark it over. So, Chad, what do you think of the Ranger versus the S10? Oh, no. Hey, we're rolling. Don't worry. We're rolling.

We're rolling. I'm about to buy a Ranger. Is it 93 down at Douglas? You're not about to buy a Ranger. You're about to go to prison the second half of this part, too. Oh, yeah. But we left you last, burying your friend in a way that

didn't actually happen, but I just made that up. I did bury him down there, and I was down in this graveyard down there. Eat the mic. You just pushed it away. I thought we were offline. No.

Okay, so I buried him down there. I went down just after he got murdered, and my other partner, Jose, got murdered in Alamos within two days of each other. So it almost seemed like there was a little conspiracy thing going on, but I like to believe that it was just a coincidence. So I went down there to check on it, and then I went down to the graveyard in Santa Cruz where a killer is buried, and I lit up a joint, and I smoked a couple, and I dropped it on the grave,

and I poured a Viana Pacifico on there. For your fallen homie? Yeah, it's all you can do, I think, right? So tired of black people stealing white culture. Pouring one out for the fallen homie. Is that what that was? I don't know.

You invented it. Oh, we did it right there. But poor killer. He had a wooden tombstone, so I could never find the grave again. It was unfortunate. Anyhow, I did it for several more years. Maybe not several more years.

Maybe a year or something. It got pretty heavy. I was making a lot of money. You get addicted to that. I'm playing Denmark. I stopped doing the Mexico stuff so much, and I started just doing the stuff in the United States, because I could, at this point, I knew every fucking buddy.

So I was just buying weed that they would bring up to the border. So you're brokering. And now I'm bringing stuff on the American side. They're just bringing it to me, like, they drive the bales over. I'm like, yeah, I'll take that. Nah, I don't want that. Yeah. And then I'd ship it off.

Sam Walton. Yeah, so that I would ship it off or something, you know. And my policy was to make $500 in each pound, right? You know, because I said, fuck this. Because I was really busy. The brewery was actually doing really well at this point. So I don't have time to fucking run to Mexico. So we're getting these bales in and we're just, we'd open them up and we'd go through them

and we'd pick out the buds that are that long and throw them in the drawer. And then we'd sell all the other shit. And then it turns out the fucking drawer gets to be ridiculous. You're pulling the good shit for yourself. Well, we're pulling so much good shit that all my employees are like, just pay me in the fucking week.

We don't want the money anymore. Because we have so much fucking colas that are like two feet long. And they're like going, just sell me a quarter pound of that. I'll just take that for pay, right? So where's the fall? Okay, so the fall is I was shipping it to the East Coast. And because my ex had given my phone number to my ex-partner, who had never had my phone number,

to my ex-partner who had never had my phone number. They used, it turns out, this just came out recently, that they said, oh, they used the phone records, but they're really monitoring all the phone calls. And I could probably sue the federal government for this, but maybe there'll be a class action suit. And my buddy Larry says in prison, he says, someday we're going to get reparations for this, right?

I said, I don't think so. 40 acres and a mule. So we did this, and I get busted, and then it takes, I get busted, and then it takes me... Describe the bust. Oh, okay. So I'm up at my girlfriend's house, a different girlfriend, and then...

Bisbee? Old Bisbee? Old Bisbee, right? And so I drive out of my my girlfriend's house, a different girlfriend. In Bisbee? Old Bisbee? Old Bisbee, right? And so I drive out of my old girlfriend's house, and Buzz was my neighbor at the time. Local legend. Yeah, local. And so I'm driving down there, and a cop pulls in behind me. I'm driving a 57 Chevy panel truck. That's my beer truck at the time. So the cop pulls in behind me, another cop pulls behind me,

and then I'm driving around. Then I go around the pit, you know, which is in Bisbee. And then I'm driving around the pit, and then I have four cops in tow, and I'm slowing down to like 35, and they're not passing me, right? I said, okay, here we go. And I got fuck the police on the cassette player right now you know by nwa right you know jesus how fucking old are we we're almost 60 years old and you're talking about being a fuck you're a grandfather or could be i could be if i had

children right but i'm like i'm 58 right so yeah so i'm doing that so they i pulled i slowed down and then low i saw maybe i'll pull into Lowell and they're all past me And I said no, they all pulled in behind me And then they pulled me over They lit me up I said fuck it So I just got out Benny Scott was there

Showing him the motor of your new car No, Benny Scott was at that point He's a cop He was. Vince Madrid was there. He was the Mexican guy. He was a sheriff. He had dark hair with a gray streak.

He was a pretty sharp looking guy. Actually, when he said, Dave, you came from my ex-wife's house, I said, I don't think so. He said, no, that's where she lives, Dave. I said, no, actually she sold it just last week. I said, no, actually, she sold it just last week. He says, ah, because he thought I was fucking his ex-wife. That's what he was saying, but he was interested.

He didn't care about the fucking. He didn't care about the weed. $100,000 of weed. What weed? It would just be police weed. And then Vince says, he says, and so anyhow, the four police cars goes, Howard, who used to be the dog catcher, shows up, and he's like trying to arrest me, but he won't look at me. He's only looking at my

shoes. Benny Scott's there. Vince Madrid. And then this DEA agent with long hair pulls up and he's got the fucking Eagle 9mm. He's crouched down behind the car, pointed at me. He's Al Pacino. Yeah. He wanted to be Al Pacino. And then Vince Madrid says, Dave, that

guy's scaring me. Would you just get in my car? Get in the back. The door's unlocked. That's so gross. Put the cuffs on yourself. You know how they go. So anyhow, I get in there, and the DA guy's like, just ridiculous, right? They're like totally over the top, right? Because that's their job, right, I guess, right?

But I'm like, I'm just a local guy. I just came from my girlfriend's house. I was on my way home. They busted my house the night before, but I wasn't there, so I didn't know. You know, so they tore it all up. Because you were fucking that cop's wife. I was fucking the cop's wife, right? You know.

Anyway. Me and Vince are still friends, I think. So, anyway, they arrest me, take me to jail, and then they said, Dave, you're fucked. You're never getting out of here, right? Had you been to jail. And then they said, Dave, you're fucked. You're never getting out of here, right? Had you been to jail before? I'd been to jail when I was a hitchhiker for just overnight kind of stuff. Vagrancy or something?

Vagrancy and public drunkenness and, you know, that kind of stuff, right? But now you're looking at serious shit. Are you panicking? Probably, but I called my lawyer. Time heals all wounds when you say probably it's probably not no you either are or you're not he's told the story enough at Elmo's

that no one can sit next to him we're the only people that are fucking interested I'm totally fucked and they're saying you're not getting out of here Dave so I call my lawyer and he says well I called this other guy Mike Johns is a local lawyer here. He used to be. He's retired now.

So I hadn't ever met Mike Johns before. So the next day, Mike Johns shows up at the county jail and brings me some cigarettes even though I don't smoke, but they're very handy. He charges me a hundred fucking dollars. He's the first time I ever met him. The guy

is totally cool. He's like a Marine. He's a Marine cop. I don't know what they call him. Whatever, Marine police, whatever they call him. MP? MP, right, for the Marines Corps, right? So he shows up, and he's a pretty cool guy, right? And I'd never really met the guy, and he's way fun, right?

So he's there, and he's like, you know, because back then you could smoke still, right? I don't smoke, but they could do it. So anyhow, we talk, and then the next day we go to court, and he stands up in front of the courtroom. And fortunately, the judge in Bisbee was on vacation, right? So I didn't have to deal with this guy. He used to be an ex-DPS parole. You had to deal with Sherry in Lane 4 from Safeway?

Exactly right. And so I got this guy that was like, it was a nice guy. He was a cop. He was a judge in service who didn't even know me. It was a great thing, right? So I go over there, and my girlfriend Sylvia is sitting in the front row flirting with him all fucking day. And she's this hot Mexican chick, right? And then so over the time I—

Doing the leg switch from not indecent proposal, but Sharon Stone. Probably. I was actually locked up in this little thing with bars in the back, right? So I didn't really see that, but she'd been there all day, right? And then,

so I come out, finally, and they charge me like nine charges, right? You know, all kinds of shit. I mean, they charge me with cocaine because they found

some empty bindles. They charge me with peyote, but they actually found my mushrooms. I'm like, no, you guys are so fucking dimwitted, right? So dimwitted you end up in prison eventually. And then they charged me with possession for sale of, I think they bust me with 35 pounds at the time. It was no big deal. And then the judge, Judge Kerms, who's hanging out with my girlfriend all day, he says, oh, well, I'm going to release Dave to his girlfriend.

No bond. Righteous. I said, really? And then the prosecutor's like, uh-uh. And they take me back in the back and say, we have new charges we want to file. And they charge another eight charges on top of me. And then they take me back there and hold me for a while. And I'm in the back room with the bars with the other guys.

And they're going, damn, Dave, who's your fucking lawyer? What's his number? I want to call him, right? Because my lawyer gets up in front of the court and says, Dave has this brewery in South Bisbee. And he built it out there. He's the only one who knows how to operate it. There's beer in operation right now. And it could explode any moment and burst into flames.

And I'm going, really? Do you want 19 workers dead on your hands, your honor? We all know how flammable beer is. And then he says, and there's no fire protection in South Bisbee. It could go up at any second and we need to let Dave out of here. And the judge is like, really?

And I'm going, really? Today you'd be a terrorist. I was the first brewery in Arizona, so really no one knew that the beer is really not very flammable. So how does the court case end? Okay, so they bring me back in, and they charge me with nine new charges. And the prosecutors are all, oh, we have all these new charges against Dave, and they're all very serious about it. And Judge Krims goes, conditions have at least remained the same.

And they just let me go, right? But they didn't bring my clothes over there to service because they figured, Dave, you're fucked, right? So we're just bringing you the orange stuff. I said, I'll walk out of here naked. I don't give a fuck. Right? So I didn't have my clothes. One of my friends there loaned me a t-shirt and I walked out

in the orange pants. We went to my bank but they'd already seized my accounts. Well well what happened to that fucking thing you built the brewery no the underground safe vault all the money the vanity they didn't find that all right so you're good because they're cops they're not i mean they're not the sharpest but eventually you wind up in prison i I went to prison, yeah. Wait, you got sentenced to what? I'm out for two years before they sentenced me, right?

You're on release. I was released. Pending. With your girlfriend who fucked up and got you busted. No, that's a different girlfriend. Oh, good. Because that would be a long two years of, I fucking told you. I

fucking told you. I didn't mean to do it. You're under my custody now. How do you even know it's me? It was very nice, actually, but it took him two years to take me to sentence me, and in the meantime, I shouldn't say this, because... Well, then don't.

But, you know, the courtroom drops my file behind a cabinet and they lose it for like a long time right all right but eventually they find it the long arm of john law catches up with you and the verdict says guilty and your sentence was five years. In what kind of prison? The ones they have in Arizona, Tucson. They sentenced me to maximum, but I ended up in medium. Ended up? Did you have to go through maximum to get to medium? Well, I went to Alhambra, which is the processing center.

I spent two months there, which is a very long time, because they'd lost all my paperwork. Thank God, the people that were on my side kept losing my paperwork. Chad Shank just perked up. Alhambra. And the thing about Alhambra, you have these little slit windows like this to the ceiling.

And you can see the prostitutes down on Van Buren walking, right? They're all waving. Come here, come here. On purpose. Did you just do that on purpose? Do you not know my famous prostitute Van Buren story? No, I don't know.

I did. All right. I thought you did that on purpose. I thought you were kind of name-checking me. Big fan, big fan, Stan Hope. Yeah. Or maybe we can see the prostitutes down there. When did they learn that you could fix air conditioning,

which was an important part of your life? When did you learn that that was a dude? Because I learned immediately. Well, later when I went to prison, when I was at the medium security prison, which I ended up in, which was very nice for... Big ups. You want to give a shout-out?

Give a little Yelp review. Give a shout-out to the fucking warden. All you people in Santa Rita. I'm sure it's not as nice as it used to be. You got fucking tents there. You got fucking chain link. But we didn't have that shit when I was there. We could wear cowboy boots.

We could wear cowboy hats. We had Levi's. How long did you have concrete beds? We had steel beds. But we had those mattresses that are probably the same ones you got right now, those inch and a half plastic ones. How long of the five years did you have to do? I did 27 out of five. 27 months.

The highs and lows? Thumbs up, thumbs down? Well, Santa Rita turned out to be a reasonably fairly nice prison. Media security. We still had weights back then, motherfuckers. I had the weight pile. I'd go to the weight pile every day. I went to school. I went to the...

I had a job. I was the... First I was the Maytag repairman. First I was an electrician, then I was the Maytag repairman. And then I got the tits job where I was the air conditioning and heating guy. Oh, that's probably what those guys that just escaped out of upstate New York had.

Exactly right. Wait, if I go to prison, I don't get to just take naps? That's a lot more shit than I do now. I don't want to do all that shit. If you're the HVAC guy in Phoenix at the prison, you're the king. I'm the king. But if you're just a broke dick motherfucker like the 10-cent-an-hour guys that rake the rocks, then, yeah, they're going to roust you out of your fucking bed and make you rake rocks. So you could buy your way around a bit with that secret vault.

I had the refrigeration job. So all the inmates had swamp coolers. This is Tucson. It's over 100 degrees for 90 days in a row, right? Swamp coolers are a trailer parkamp Cool is a trailer park air conditioner. A trailer park air conditioner. But the guards had AC and all the offices had AC. So if the guards would fuck with me, I'd say, well, I'm sorry.

I can't get that part, right? So they learned that right away, right? So they already knew it before I got there, right? So they already knew it. When I said that, they said, well, we heard this before, right? You know, so they were all very nice to me. And also, I was a nice guy because I didn't do drugs. I mean, I was just a nice guy.

I wasn't doing anything bad. I just happened to be in prison, right, you know? But it was pretty pathetic, though. I mean, it's middle of January in Tucson at 2 in the morning. It's fucking cold outside, and the heater goes off, right? The heaters go off, and they're electric heaters, and they're 270-volt. They're 270-volt legs on a 440-volt circuit, I guess. No, we got it.

So it's pretty fucking hardcore. Hardwired. And so I got to work on this thing in the dark, and the guards, they pull me out of my cell at like 2 in the morning to go fix some heater, and he's holding the flashlight over me, and I'm like, I'm not even doing the callback, go ahead. Okay, and I'm reaching

in there with one hand because it's such high voltage, right? And I'm trying to fix this fucking thing, and the guy's holding the flashlight, and this guard says to me, says, wow, you have skills. You know, my wife just left me, mean i'm living in the fucking trailer i can this is the best job i can get but look at you you have skills and i'm trying not to fucking laugh i'm like are you coming on to me i got my fucking hand at 270 70 volts right you know

and this guy's telling me how hard his life is, I'm like, fuck you. So, anyway, I fix this fucking heater. I just laugh hysterically. And then we go back. And me and my Sally, who's also an AC heating guy, and we just laugh. We didn't go to sleep. We just laughed all night about how pathetic this motherfucking dark was. They pair up the AC heating guys together.

They had to because they had to bring us out in the middle of the night all the time. My cellar was very cold. I hate to rush to a close, but there's no way we're doing a part three this drunk. Okay, fuck it. You got out. Eventually, yeah. You came right back to Bisbee? They wouldn't let me go anywhere else. I had to

go back to Bisbee. Parole, you mean? Parole, yeah. They still had parole back then. Released to a commune? I was released to my buddy's house. Wait, your business, Electric Dave's Beer, that kept going, right? That was still running your whole 27 months. It was in limbo.

They confiscated my brewery when I went to prison the first time. They bulldozed it. And they bulldozed it. Wait, you go to prison again? I forgot to mention that one when I went to prison the first time. They bulldozed it. And they bulldozed it. Wait, you go to prison again? I forgot to mention that one. You go to prison again? No, the first time, no. But, I mean, they bulldozed my brewery and they confiscated my brewery.

It was in, what is that called? South Bisbee. But you said when I went to prison the first time. Is there another prison stint? No, I think that was just just one of my bad dreams. Okay, you just misspoke. He did almost die later. I know, that's what I'm cutting to.

It's the car accident. But they ruined your brewery. They crushed all of the kettles. They sold it to a friend of mine and they crushed the building and stuff. So you sold it. You cashed out at least. No, my girlfriend cashed out, but I sold it to one of my friends. It's all right.

I had no animosity. It got rebuilt somewhere else, and then you sold it. No one cares about that. We're getting to the car crash, because otherwise, this podcast is one. Are we over right now? No. Oh, we're still going? Okay.

No, because this was since I've lived here. America's Got Talent knows we go long, so they're going to push it. I think this is why Derek is staying sober, is to get you home, because you came here on a motorcycle. I can do it. I can drive home. Nah, haven't you said that before? Take us back. Actually, I wasn't driving at the time of the accident.

Oh, really? So I was delivering beer in Sierra Vista and going to see my op, the fucking mologist. And then my car wouldn't start. My truck wouldn't start. That was the truck I gave you. Cedric gave me this truck just for free, right? He just gave me the truck because it was fucked up. So I got the magic mystery potion from the auto parts store and put it in the head gasket sealer, and it actually worked. Cedric gave me the truck with it was fucked up. So I got the magic mystery potion from the auto parts store and put it in the

head gasket sealer and it actually worked. Cedric gave me the truck with the blown head gasket and I fucking drove it. I was using it for a beer truck and then it was cursed though. It let me down in Sierra Vista and then I called all my friends and they were all busy except for my one

friend Kevin who has a tendency to make hot rods and is totally insane, or was. And then he says, it turns out, I didn't realize, when people have cell phones, when you call them, you don't know that they're at the bar. You know, like, doesn't say, you know, like, I always tell people not to call me at the bar, but I don't have a cell phone, but how do they know, right?

You know, so I didn't know he was at the bar. He said, I'll be there in 15 minutes. It's like a 35-minute drive, right? He's there in 15 minutes. So we're at the Chili's, which is pathetic because that's where my car broke down. I happened to be in the lot, so I was having a rolling rock watching all. because that's where my car broke down. I happened to be in the lot,

so I was having a rolling rock, watching all, looking at all the phony fucking vacuum-formed plastic art antiques on the wall, and he shows up, and I'm a fucking rolling rock. We have a rolling rock. Gives me a ride back to my house

on the San Pedro. I think we have a couple more beers, and then, but no big deal. It's like, you know, in Bisbee, you're not drunk until you've had like six, I think, right?

I'm so paranoid about it. So maybe we've had three beers, right? And so then we leave my house in this fucking ridiculous 1932 Nash four-door with the suicide doors. And the front seat is only like 36 inches wide. A guy dies in this, you don't have to describe it. I'm sorry with the details. So anyhow,

the wheel breaks into fragments and the truck, the car just rolls three and a half times and Kevin didn't make it. So he was driving. What did you hit? Well, we didn didn't make it. So he was driving. What did you hit? Well, we didn't really hit anything.

What happened was this Crager Max from the 70s, the problem with magnesium is that when you... The wheels. You're talking about the wheels? Yeah, the wheels. So the problem with magnesium is when you cast it, it gets brittle as it ages once you cast it, and then it gets older and older.

It gets more and more brittle and I probably could have sued Crager for this but you might want to edit that you're suing everybody you're Saul Rosenberg I'll sue you, I'll sue everyone the wheels fell off the fucking rail the wheel just fragmented and came apart

and the truck or the car flipped three and a half times but it was a rat rod so there was no glass thank god and so just or the car flipped three and a half times. It was a rat rod, so there was no glass, thank God. Just in the front windshield. Dave went like 70 feet in the air. No seatbelts? No, in 1934.

Painting the picture here. You flew. Do you have any recollection of this? No? My friend, Bona, saw the car go off the road, so she pulled up on the other side. And she said the car flipped three and a half times. And she said, I went as high as the power line poles. Wow.

But the thing is, they're high tension lines. Oh, yeah. Pussy. You couldn't take that? Well, I think they're the 14,000. What happened to you? I was in a coma for a couple of weeks, at least. This was before I knew you, but everyone in town knows your name. So I heard that, yeah, you were dead, too, and then you're not dead.

Oh, yeah, they said that I was dead, but, you know, I was close. I was dead, but then I came back. They brought me back, and... What did you say to the doctors when they brought you back? I said, you brought me fucking back for this, you motherfuckers? I yelled at them, right? What condition were you in? Were you in a full body cast, like a 1940s slapstick comedy?

I was really broken. I broke my back and all my ribs. It went all through my organs and stuff. And I was all fucked up. And they didn't expect me to live. And my leg was torn off. Not literally torn off, because I'm looking at you with two legs. Well, he's got a pretty good damn scar on there.

Don't make me bring Derek in if you tear his scars because he had a similar scar. But it was just very fucked up. I was in a lot of pain and I was perfectly happy being dead and they brought me back to life. And I didn't even know who I was. But I knew I was dead and then

all of a sudden I'm in the blackness, in this coma. Well, actually I didn't even exist and then they brought me back and suddenly I realized I existed and I'm in this blackness in this coma. Well, actually, I didn't even exist. And then they brought me back and suddenly I realized I existed and I'm in this black coma thing, right? And then I was in the coma for weeks after that. I didn't even know who I was, but I knew I was alive. But before that, I was

not, right? So I was much happier not being alive because I was really pissed off. And it turned out my fucking surgeon that saved me had been to my brewery and I drank beer with him before. It took me a long time to realize, I know that fucking guy. Guess that's a closer. I was hoping to make you cry at the end.

Doug is hoping to hear something different. He wakes up like that every morning. Who is that? Why am I alive? Why did I wake up? Why do my eyes work? Derek, are you sober? No.

Yeah, Derek will get you home. He's even been refraining from weed. And we have a 15-hour sale for a motorbike here at Van Dyke. Actually, it's a good bike. It for a motorbike here at Van Dyke. Actually, it's a good bike. It's a 1978. Please. 1978 SR500.

What do you think it's worth? What do you think it's worth? Oh, it's probably worth... Suicide doors? No, it's a single. It's probably worth $1,500 or more. All right, we'll start the bidding on eBay. We'll put the link in the show notes at $300. The paint's a little rough.

Good luck, bidders. Good luck. Electric, Dave, and Cedric, thank you for being here. Thanks for building the bar at the new Funhouse. Beautiful bar. On the Shot Clog podcast, the Doug Stanhope Shot Clog podcast. I'm sure we'll have you back again because you're never out of stories. I got a few more.

I know. I know. I'm still learning after 100 episodes. The problem is we just ran out of digital. You only have 128 gigabytes. The internet just ran out this is the 101 episode part two of the 100th episode and then we have a couple in the bank that we because we wanted to uh shoehorn electric dave in here and uh. And then Chad Shank will be guest hosting because of your insistence.

While I'm in the U.K. and Europe, they're both Europe, I guess. I don't think it's in the U.K. I think U.K. is not in Europe. They probably have some beef about it. If you say, oh, I'm in Great Britain, and you go, it's not Great Britain, it's Scotland. And you go, what's the difference? Well, there's no difference, really, I'm in Great Britain, and you go, it's not Great Britain, it's Scotland. And you go, what's the difference? Well, there's no difference, really, but fuck you. So they probably say they're not part of Europe, too.

Yeah, they're miserable cunts, and that's why they like me. So Chad Shank will be holding the reins. I'll come try. Talk to Chaley. Thanks for all the nice tweets, everybody. Yeah, you can stop twittering now, because he's doing it. He to Chaley. Thanks for all the nice tweets, everybody. You can stop twittering now because he's doing it. He's doing it.

I'm going to get up after four hours and see if I can walk. Alright, thank you and listen to the next podcast. Shotclog. Use it in conversation. We'll see if it'll be like Negronis where we made them exist again from 1940.

And now everyone's going to go, you're a fucking shot clock, man. You're just a fucking loser. People only talk to you because you pay for the drinks. Nobody would ever tell the shot clock that to their face, though. You'd have to tell your buddy. He's such a fucking shot clock, man. No, they would. That's the rub, is they

would, after the shot clog, bought him too many drinks. You're just a fucking shot clogger anyway. No one even fucking likes you. And he'll do it again the next time. Yep. Until the next time. Hey, this is Shaley. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Playing us out is Mishka Shubale Until the next time. Just as cute as could be Propped up on your elbows And smiling at me

I drove in for your birthday Your mother drove me away But that woman taught you how to crawl And that'll come in handy someday And that'll come in handy someday Hey kid, hang on to your dreams Your stupid, hopeless dreams Grow meeker and colder As you get weaker and older

Making the same money you did when you were 17 no it's never too early to throw in the towel but it's always too late to die with dignity. So give up. Give in. Surrender without a fight. This is your last chance to snatch failure from the jaws of defeat. Wild horses on the jukebox Or whatever the hell it was But we were young, we were in love

We were drunk and on drugs Your mom can say what she likes About how I wasted my time. But I had so much fucking fun burning out at 29. Hey kid, hang on to your dreams. Your stupid, hopeless dreams They'll grow meeker and colder As you get weaker and older

Making the same mistakes you did when you were seventeen No, it's never too early to throw in the towel But it's always too late to die with dignity So give up

give in surrender without a fight This is your last chance To snatch failure From the jaws of defeat guitar solo 12 years of public school 15 minutes of fame 8 hours 5 days a week

For a parking spot with your name Compare the man you wanted to be To the man you wanted to be to the man you became And realize, man, those two guys, only their shoe size is the same I won't have any children, I never had a career I have no fucking regrets. I guess I'll have another beer. Hey kid, hang on to your dreams.

Your stupid, stupid dreams. It's still a hard job. the dream.