The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #116: Nashville Pussy's Blaine Cartwright

Episode Date: December 21, 2015

Nashville Pussy stops by the Bisbee compound for Thanksgiving, vodka and road stories.Donations to Chaille can be sent through this link (here.) and are always appreciated. Thank you.Recorded Nov. 27, 2015 in the new Funhouse Studio in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Singer Blaine Cartwright (@nashville_pussy), and Rob. Engineered by Shawnee. Edited by Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille).LINKS -Nashville Pussy on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/NSPSY/Twitter@nashville_pussynashvillepussy.com - http://www.nashvillepussy.com/Nine Pound Hammer - http://on.fb.me/1PhEkdGHabanero Hangover Cure (untested) - http://bit.ly/1PdsrUbManson's Smiley Face Podium - http://bit.ly/1mtM5BOSlinging Pig Radio Show - http://bit.ly/1NvBrUaBISBEE OBSERVER - http://www.thebisbeeobserver.com/Closing Songs, "Going Down Swingin" and "Before The Drugs Wear Off", by Nashville Pussy. Available on iTunes.Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You can smoke in front of me, it's no big deal. Every time I quit smoking, I wash this ashtray. That looks like my grandpa's ashtray. Yeah, I know, you wash it and it's so pretty and retro and madman, bright orange. It's a shame to not use that. They never quit smoking. They just died really early. Yes, I know, it's a funny story.

Are we recording? Yeah, we're recording. All right, we started. Right on. Good. I'm drinking vodka at, what, 9 in the morning? Yeah, it's a little after. It's about 925.

I'm drinking vodka at 9 in the morning, and I must be visiting Doug Stanhope. So that's very good. I'm not driving to san diego apparently all right well you got this is uh i'm with uh uh blaine the lead singer of nashville pussy on a post thanksgiving shameful morning after a podcast we we wanted a podcast during thanksgiving but that would have been uh it had been it was fucking chaos in here anyway you had you have you apparently you have friends you know i didn't know that so and uh and we we were we were drunk by uh 11 a.m yesterday i i drove here all the way from we drove here all the way from atlanta georgia and didn't stop and uh i think i did like 75 of the driving and i got here and then i started drinking

and yeah we had a well you will have a cocktail show you around and uh to put you down to take the the road jitters off and that just kept going straight through yeah i was became i became like lovable and the uh really fast and like after that became like everyone was probably glad i went to bed after that well i did suggest that if you uh if you took a nap i think it was around two that's when the middle game was on and you'd have two drunks and in a day you'd come up refreshed you could get drunk for the late i'm not that big of a drinker believe or not i'm right now i'm. I'm mostly a pothead. And also, man, you don't want my drunk comments on the first football game I watched this year.

Because I would act like I knew what I was talking about. And it's just been annoying. Well, the great thing about the morning drunk yesterday, it was like a pre-interview. It was a pre-screening. Because I kind of remember some of the stories going, oh, fuck, that should be on a podcast, but I don't really remember how they go. Was it, I think, it's usually when I say I have a wife and a girlfriend, that's what people usually go, oh, I should ask that guy about that,

but not in front of my girlfriend. You kind of, you have a hot wife, which. I have a. It's the first thing that peeks your eye about the band. Oh, yeah, it does. When you look up Nashville, you Google Nashville pussy, you go, man, that's... Yes, I do.

I talked to her last night. We had a little tearful thing because I saw you guys together. And I'm like, I don't know... Bingo and I. Not your wife and I. No. No, not yet. It's we're not bingo and i'm not your wife and i know no not yet it's like it's all bingoing you together and it's like i just i just realizing me and her aren't building things together anymore you guys built this and we had a uh you know and uh we had uh we were together for we were together for 20 years we're still married

and i said but i had you know i had one of those things this is thanksgiving We were together for 20 years. We're still married. But I had one of those things. It's Thanksgiving, which I usually don't put a lot of stock in, but I had a nice Thanksgiving. If she was here, it would have been cool. I mean, I really am madly in love with my girlfriend. I wish she was there too, but neither one of them are here. So it was just me with you guys.

So you woke up after everyone I woke up like I woke up all sobby and I couldn't find the turkey immediately so I came but there's plenty of vodka easily accessible so I just drank vodka and I felt sorry for myself for some fucking reason I think it was

probably around 5 or so that you finally fell down. So you woke up at 10 o'clock at night, and then everyone's gone. These guys were washing dishes, and that was the only thing going on. And they looked at me like, okay, go back to sleep. Shawnee's here. Shawnee's in the Chaley role, but he doesn't have a mic. He's just checking levels.

Shawnee and Gretchen, I think, were the people up the two sober people uh yeah yeah full of energy after everyone's passed out so yeah yeah yeah in my uh my i had texted my girlfriend and she was passed out and so i was like i don't know i'll i if i if i did get hold of my family, it was a very drunken video I sent or something. I checked my phone after I woke up and I saw your text, this lonely text at 1130 last night. We should tour together. We should tour together. No, because I think it'd be fun. And also, there's no other bands i really like and uh i thought it you know if we're

playing these same crappy places he might as well like get both get paid really well and we'll anyway i'm sure you i'm sure you get paid well too but it's like i'm just saying it'd be it'd be interesting it'd be interesting to her but the fact is that i i woke up knowing that because you first text that was the dose it looks like i passed out and it's 11 32 and i know there's no one up i remember one time i went to costa rica where i day drank in this little surfer town dominical and i passed out in a hammock it was beautiful sunset i was slurring drunk and i woke up at about 10 15 and the whole town shut down at nine and there was nothing like i couldn't even get a glass it was my first time so i didn't even know if i could drink out of the sink so i'm

just parched i couldn't find anything to to drink i went through the car i found i found a chocolate chip cookie that i'd bought during so that was my only beverage i ate it made it worse but i that's what i was thinking about you waking up like going where is everyone i found some dinner rolls in here and there are some lemons i didn't know the turkey was in there yeah i stored the turkey in the guest house with you i passed out in the guest house which i probably maybe was not supposed to pass out in i just remember sitting in bed and walking in. I'm not that big of a drinker, man. I've been a pothead since I was – I didn't smoke pot until I was 25.

You look like a guy that should have a holster for Jack Daniels on your side all the time. Jack Daniels is good for your voice, for my voice. Jack Daniels, you know, do you have any Jack Daniels? Yes, I do. You want some? Give me a shot. I will demonstrate what Jack Daniels does to your voice. Well, you just keep talking because you're good at it.

I tend to talk a lot in front of people that I'm excited about being around. So, you know, um, I think, I think, I think, I think you're, I think you're great. I don't,

I laugh at almost nothing. And you're one of the few people that makes me laugh in the fucking world. And, and almost every other, I mean, there's like, we, we counted how many comedians made me laugh.

And I think half of them are dead. Um, I think that could be a, a moniker. Cause I get that quite a bit is well yeah yeah it's a comedy i do comedy for people who don't like things that are funny well people i just i just thought people were easily amused and i'm not my father had a very my father had a very very very uh my mother called it a mature sense of humor, advanced sense of humor.

And he wouldn't laugh at things except for like it had to be like, you know, fucking Groucho Marx or, you know, something like that. And it wasn't intellectual at all. But he would laugh at things that were way more advanced than other people. Because I remember his friends, my father's friend's father was a football coach coach and sports coach and teacher and stuff his friends laughed at fucking roadrunner cartoons and i would sit there and like whoa this guy's an adult he's laughing at this i mean like really fucking laughing i don't know if you remembered neighbor dave from last night he showed up later but uh he he will laugh at football at geico commercials and you cringe and you're crushing your beer can silently in your hand.

It's like, you've kind of, I mean, I, we had an old drummer and mother band, non-fantasy hammer who laughed at like a fucking everything. I mean, like he was describing the Ace Ventura movie and he had tears in his eyes.

And you're just going, it's when it came out, I was like, I was like, I just admire it. Cause of me and my wife are white. I'm a writer watching him describe this and going i i'd be great to laugh that fucking easy really would you everything yeah he thought ace ventura was so funny and and i we we take him to movies and just to get his perspective on like yeah why why why do i hate this fucking movie

that makes everybody laughs at me why am i so why do i like you know i'll watch something like that and i basically want to kill everyone involved you know i just don't want i don't like any anybody is like i hate and hates me makes me hate everybody is in that movie for life and all they're trying to do is make people laugh that's why i always defended dane cook on some level even when it was me talking shit about him i don't think he would like i don't think he would have laughed at dane cook but you're gonna continue sorry no i i i don't laugh at dane cook i i like dane cook as a rival we came up together and you, and from a comedy competition in San Francisco on, he's been my kind of nemesis, and I hated the fact that all these people thought he was funny.

If you don't think something's funny, most people don't think you're funny, no matter who you are. The biggest comic in the world, well, if you knocked on every door just on any random street and made that that made that your audience like just yeah most of them are not going to think any given person's funny it's no no no for sure i i just i hated the fact that all these people were laughing yeah of course i wish i was laughing yeah i mean yeah i mean i have the same thing with uh bands and stuff which is like uh especially when i was with my other band before national pussy was a band called nine pound hammer

and that's what uh the drummer who came with rob is from and uh i from the years in 1986 to before i started national pussy national pussy did well to i wasn't a jaded fuck and we did we got nominated for grammy off the bat and everything else so it's like uh and got much of money so i was like more well-adjusted person uh but but the other the previous band nine pound hammer anyone who did better than us i hate anyone from 86 to like 97 who did better music, which is basically fucking everybody, than us, then I just can't stand them. I fucking can't stand them. It's like, you know, even to this day, you know, someone mentioned Smashing Pumpkins.

I've never heard a song. I just don't like them because they did well and I did not. Or whoever. You know. I see. I never had any kind of jealousy over other people's success. I had moments of, I should be trying harder. You look at Louis C.K. and he's fucking doing screenplays

and he's doing this and he's doing that, and I don't have that ambition. But the best tv show is one you're in you're in louis ck is one of your you're playing a character yeah there's gonna kill himself and uh i mean the point is i didn't do that louis called me i'm not out there trying to create i know but people i only wrote the book because I got a deal. No, but you're making. No, it's just like I would talk to my really good friends, Lemmy from Motorhead, and one thing I would tell him back in the day,

back before he became this recent Lemmy's guy, when he was like, I was like, people give you these parts in movies to give the whole thing credibility. So, I mean, that TV, okay, sorry, now I'm getting kind of drunk. That TV show. Getting kind of drunk? You haven't even drank your Jack Daniels to show me the change in your voice. All right, here we go. I'll get off knocking Louis C.K.

than that weird fucking TV show he's got. And so, no, because we have, I have a, my girlfriend, we have a fucking thing. It's like, I think the Marin TV show is funnier and she likes the Louis C.K. TV show better. That's our argument. Because the Marin one, he's like fucking young girls.

Oh, it makes sense? The Marin one? For me, it does. It has a storyline that doesn't leave you scratching your bald spot. That's a lot of scratching for me, man. So it's like, no, the Marin one is like, yeah. The Louis C.K. one is like, dude, you're like this huge comedian, and he's like dating these librarians or something in New York

and crying all the time. I don't like that shit. I don't know. No, I don't. I don't. I don't fucking like that. I don't like that. I think I've said that on the podcast before,

that I just wish he was like, you can't be as successful as Louis and always be as down on yourself. Amen. All right. So what's the word for it? Drake, you're Jack. And let's get to uh marilyn manson stories all right okay uh okay jack daniels is like i think anyone who drinks this in their house by themselves is a psychopath they should be locked up but uh on the road what you do uh

this is better than warming up uh it's like i have to get a certain rasp in my voice to cut through the noise of what I do with Natural Pussy. And you can warm up, but when you warm up, you hum. You don't sing because you're singing early. You go, mmm. But here we go. This is a double shot of Jack or a shot and a half. This is perfect, perfect size. And here we go.

Hi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Yeah. Good morning, San Diego. How's everything? Yeah. Ow! There we go. I can do that once I hit the Jack Daniels.

The problem is stopping. Take that away all right um it it is it is like perfect because i've had this other stuff called singer saving grace and uh throat spray for should they they haven't they sell you in nashville for the studio but they're really good singers i know lisa from the bell rays are from georgia peach they have that in the studio and i did it before i yeah i know it's it's for fucking heathens and vodka vodka is civilized okay vodka is a civilized civilized drink jack daniels just says if you start drinking jack daniels he basically says you say fuck it fuck it fuck everything fuck tonight fuck whatever and look out that's this is what's

gonna happen you know but uh a vodka to me is like very civilized so i'm drinking vodka after that but i believe it's the the every type of alcohol has a reputation so you drink that because you're already in the mood you know you you you're a fucking wife left you i'm going to the bar and i'm gonna drink tequila and someone's getting their ass kicked well you can't you you'd be that angry drinking red wine you just look sillier punching some guy off of a bar stool and asking for more rosé. Yeah, you've had way too many Miller Lites, man. You're out of here. No, I'm basically a pothead,

and I live in Atlanta, Georgia, where everyone does cocaine. So basically, you start drinking, everyone does coke really fucking fast. I always forget Atlanta when I talk about drug cities. Everyone i know that's grown up there has a drug problem and the whole thing is like okay say say it's sunday and i go to get some weed from my friend and then and then we see one of our mutual friends that's been up for two days on the bender and any other city we go get the guy help and atlanta is like oh that's his turn to be on this bender i mean i'll i've gone on i've gone on a

two-day fucking you don't see any bourbon street interventions no you don't yes exactly you do not see uh and we we live there for a reason you know and when And when I go back there, it's like, you know, no one's going, oh, shit, Blaine's been up for two days. Oh, God, that's normal behavior there. And I don't spend as much time there as I probably – I don't spend as much time as I probably should, you know. Sorry, I thought you were reaching for a glass. You don't even drink, Shawnee.

You don't drink. You know, not drinking. Not drinking is actually good uh but you you seem to seem to like you see well i knew i had to do a podcast you seem to feed off the alcohol and i did go to bed at 9 30 last night and you were up and when you for the record people listening to uh if he sounds like he's very drunk we just forced him out of bed so he can cram a podcast in before he has to drive eight hours to San Diego. I'm not driving anywhere. I love your gumption that you actually woke up and showered this morning because I haven't showered in about eight days.

No, no, no. You got to shower, man. There's no way around that. I filmed two specials over the weekend, and I didn't even shower for the second one. I didn't even wash my shower for the second one i didn't even wash my face for the second one my my girlfriend showers for like a half an hour and i don't know what goes on i mean i think yes or one time away from everyone once the lady shuts the bathroom door i'm not asking a lot of questions except for bingo shits with the door open i filthy this is

like my my girlfriend uh is so cool that like um when we were like she hung out with me for a day and like uh or a couple days when we were i was playing with non-panamera natural pussy and uh not only was she peeing with the door open, she laughs at everything I do because she hasn't met you or anyone funnier than me. And she was peeing, and I came into the hotel bathroom, and I got the hairdryer and acted like I was making a phone call, which is – she laughed so hard you could hear her pee hitting the water harder.

I do that to Bingo all the time. I have these fake phone calls with my mistress. It's always Alice P. Butter Pajamas or Butter Something, Alice P. Butter Waffles. And I have these loud conversations about, yeah, bingo's going out, so if you want to come by, we could spend some quality, and she'll run in the room, fake angry. She plays the perfect Gracie part, and I'll be talking on a fucking ladle. Gracie, Gracie.

That's what we watched when I was a kid. Me and my father would watch, our family watched George. Stan Hope, you're talking on a banana. That's not a phone. That's what we watched when I was a kid. Me and my father would watch. Our family watched George. Stan Hope, you're talking on a banana. That's not a phone. Oh, she's here. I've got to go click. I've got to laugh for the banana and the hair dryer. And no, that's why I got to keep this chick away from comedians.

She's the perfect. She's perfect. She laughs at fucking everything i do and uh it something like that doesn't get old you're like oh shit because i used to be a funny guy i used to be funny when i was in high school and uh that was what i did that was my thing and then i became kind of a a cult level you know uh we got nominated for a Grammy and became, you know, kind of an asshole. Well, I could while while the getting was good. I got what category? Fucking heavy metal, dude.

I hate heavy metal. Best heavy metal performance in 1998. Yeah. OK. It's like me getting the best Christian comedy. No, it's not! No, it's not. No, it's not.

It's like you nominated for a fucking Grammy. It's the only thing that ever impressed my family. Let's not knock it by saying your thing about your whatever, man. No. And my mother called me and said blaine you should really take consideration if someone's trying to play a joke on you my family my family is um did you show up in a tuxedo and shit no you're nominated you're going to the fuck we want it and uh it was like

we went to the mall the upper middle class like uh urban mall atlanta to find clothes and i was like look man this looks like we don't know what we're doing so me and the drummer showed up and i showed up in a fucking hat said the word cock on it and had a chicken and uh and i was showing a cowboy cowboy cool cowboy fucking um uh uh shirt and a drummer had an easy rider jacket like peter fonda and we showed up in jeans and my uh my wife showed up my wife showed up and um something again the wife is hot and the bass player is hot okay this is the old bass player and we they uh the the chick uh god i don't know her name who made the i say her name is sagatha who made but she made the same fucking thing for Selma Hyatt and Madonna right after. My wife got it right in blue.

And the thing is, like, he showed up at the Grammys. We thought we had to stand in line. I don't usually drink. We were drinking at 7 in the morning because it was on the West Coast. And we thought we had to stand in line to get in. And the people from, you know. No, we did. I don't fucking know.

They told me I was working. He gets fucking nominated for a Grammy and he's waiting in line with the people. I'm from Kentucky. He's standing with the paparazzi taking cell phone pictures of everyone on the red carpet. This is 1998. There weren't a lot of cell phones.

So I was like, I'm from Kentucky. I like how you corrected the wrong part of that oh yeah i didn't have a camera i heard you know and like i didn't know what we were like like that line's gonna take forever like no you guys are you walked down the red carpet you're so and what they had was like these these enthusiasts in this like little like a makeshift bleachers and most of them were enthusiasts that's enthusiasts and most of them were it's almost a way of saying fan

where you're trying to like you know they're rock and back when rock and word you know back back when they had a thing called rock and roll uh they there was fans and like they were they knew who we were and my wife like uh mean, it was like a song from like crazy, like 80s, crazy Grammy moments. My wife did a one-handed cartwheel on the red carpet. No panties? No, she had some leather pants on, and she got all the people. They were mostly these heavy metal dudes waiting to see fucking who.

I don't know who was nominated, man. Everyone was nominated. Who won? Metallica. Fuck Metallica. Fuck that little weasel he got. She got everyone to go, yeah, yeah. And I had an acceptance speech written because Tom Zutaut,

who I'm good friends with, got us on. He got us on the list. And then I was like, shit, you know, because a lot of the ballots were sent to Nashville. So I was like, fuck, you know, maybe we might have snuck in there on some kind of a – who's that dude who ran against Bill Clinton? Ross Perot. We might have done a little Ross Perot thing. We were walking up to the red carpet,

and this guy was obviously a very country music dude who had a mullet that was uh you know quaffed because you're doing his prowl i was like yeah man it's like you guys all voted for us and everyone in nashville voted for us it's like well everyone in nashville was a sense of humor i was like oh no we lost that was it like everyone with a sense of humor in Nashville, that's like fucking two and a half people, man. I mean, to this day. Well, that proves my point. I have really good turnouts in Nashville

because it's a lot of people who don't like things that are funny. Well, what do you play in Nashville? Zany's, generally. It's a legendary place. It's a fucking perfect room. What, for Nashville? Well, for comics. There's still a Zany's there.

There's a Zany's. It's out of town. It's not down. Wow. I was going to say Beale Street. That's wrong. Wrong city. I want to get to fucking road stories.

All right, road stories. We had some good ones yesterday. When we got together yesterday morning, let me tell Shawnee. When we got together, because we'd never met, we just emailed. And so we're both like, he'd start telling a story and that would remind me of a story. And I'd start telling mine before his was finished because his don't seem to end.

If you can tell. But then I'd start. We're not recording this. Yeah, that's why I figured it's a perfect podcast. I've already gone over and made two drinks while you talked, and we didn't have to go to break like we usually do.

No, no, god damn it. But the Manson one, I went over to, actually, I went over to the other house where Bingo is right now working on her, she's working on an adult coloring book. You'll hear more about that when it's done, but right now she's psychotic. And I go, what were some of the stories we were telling yesterday morning? Because I get a podcast. book you'll hear more about that when it's done but right now she's psychotic and i go what was some of the stories we were telling yesterday morning because i get a podcast and she goes there was uh well there's manson i go fuck all right that's enough because you toured back in

the back in the uh back in the his day not my day back in the the day, 1998, Columbine. Yeah, we toured Marilyn Manson. He had been accused of being the catalyst for Columbine. You know what I mean? When we first started, it was old news. But he had actual fucking T-shirts, kill your parents and stuff. I mean, and he had. No, he did. I don't doubt it.

I mean, and you think in your brain, like I was saying last night... He's a Jew and he collects Nazi memorabilia. Yeah, you would think you would do that. Like high dollar shit. You think you would do that? No. I mean, as soon as National Pussy,

as crazy as we are, got accepted into the hierarchy of showbiz, we were pretty fucking cooperative. Because we didn't want to go back to living in the trailer in Kentucky, you know? He says as he crawls out of my trailer. Yeah, if my parents had this trailer when i was born we would never have left so and he would he had these uh but it was old news and um yeah during the columbine and like i said last night our drummer not rob but uh our original drummer jeremy said and this is the best point ever if these people like merrily mansion so much it seemed

like they had waited a week after the concert in red rocks oh to kill people wait no they could have killed people red rocks and you know what i would have been part they canceled shows because of the columbine and he got nailed about that but thing is thing is, when you're like, then fuck you, fuck you, fuck you to a... Sorry, the dog's trying to get her nose into a bag. This is a YouTube video that would get like a million clicks. Way, way more than this podcast. Yeah, more than this podcast is the dog trying to figure out how to get its head into a... Can we attach to that the dog?

I wish Bob Saget were here right now. He can do the voiceover for this. America's dumbest home video. The funniest one is from Mr. Show. And they carried it. They used it for the second with Bob and David. It was Baby Loves Head Rub. Baby Loves Head Rub. Baby Loves Head Rub?

They used it. That was so good from the first Mr. Show. They used it on the second one, and I probably wouldn't have caught it. I was like, oh, that's from the first. Back to Manson. What? Back to Manson.

All right. Way from Comedy Rivals. Back to Manson. All right. Way from comedy rivals. Back to Manson. Yeah. So when you give America the middle finger and they respond and you're surprised, then, you know, that's what goes on. But then, you know, he was fucking crazy. He still is.

No, okay. fucking crazy and and he still is no okay i i when we first our first uh our first gig was in north carolina and i got i we had some some uh record company money and i got a marshall and a fucking you know fender baseman from 63 64 we got two of those hooked up with the Marshall. People who are guitar players are jacking off right now, but we split a fucking 70s Marshall with a 1963 Fender Bassman. Yeah, baby. And the only thing I got when we soundchecked was a bounce-off from the end of the stadium. And I thought we kicked ass.

I thought we were going to kick Marilyn Manson's ass. But that guy had a costume change for every fucking song. He had, at any time, 11 maybe spotlights on him. And he never left character and all the people people all the people come see us and go you guys are great and and even people like my roommate at the time had seen alice cooper in 1971 the guy who signed this time guns rose and motley crew and girlfriend fucked by nicky sick while he waited banging the door so they were like we've seen it all I was like you think you've seen it all but you have not seen this because I don't think I

don't think it is a character I or maybe it was a character but like your parents said if you keep doing this making that face it's gonna stick like that he's stuck like no no uh that he fucking was amazing and uh music uh i mean you could rip the he could dissect the music to a certain degree and saying that you know but but while you're watching because like yeah seriously my friends are like i saw les cooper in 1971 nothing can shock me it's like well let, well, let's go see our buddy tear pages out of the Bible while he's in the middle of Indiana. What was the American flag story? Rebel flag? No, he liked national pussy because we're, you know, okay, we're on the rebel flag.

Oh, no, it was an electric caution high voltage sign that they generally had. Well, the thing is, like, National Pussy, we had three rebel flags. So the rebel flag thing, okay, here's the deal with rebel flag things. Like, me and the drummer, Jeremy, he's from Mississippi. I'm from Kentucky. We're like, let's ditch this. Our bass player at the time was from California, and my wife is from Mississippi, I'm from Kentucky. We're like, let's ditch this. Our bass player at the time was from California, and my wife is from Canada, and they love Rebel Flag.

The thing just fucking looked great. Manson loved the Rebel Flag backdrop on the stage. We had three of them. You mutter, I'll do an Andy Andrist on you. You mutter, and I'll give it clarity and context. I should have you around all the time. I'd be so popular. My girlfriend would love this. Like, yes, I'm going to mutter and I'll give it clarity and context. I should have you around all the time. I'd be so popular. My girlfriend would love this.

Like, yes, I'm going to mutter. Doug Stanhope's going to translate. I'll make sense of it. So we had three flags coming down. There's a row of flags, but in a club, they're huge. Which Manson loved and you hated because it's kind of like a little on the nose for your look and your sound. Okay. I hated it because I just thought, I don't feel that way.

I was brought up blah, blah. I wasn't brought up like that. And we used to come out. But it's expected of you because of your look and where you're from. I'm not. I'm trying to. Is that accurate? Yes, yes, yes, it is.

It is. It is. And we had three of them, and Manson was pacing around and goes, these guys need bigger – it's not called Confederate. He calls it the rebel flag we're from. We don't call it the Confederate flag. It's like when – the reason they don't call it – in France, they don't call them French fries.

They call them frites. No, that's the rebel flag. fries they call them freets no that's the rebel flag and uh i dressed myself out of truck stops for the uh for a long period before they became chic and so we had rebel flags and the reason national pussy has rebel flag because the john waters movie crybaby and very end and the boston globe had a picture of the in the crybaby with johnny depp and whoever that actress was they perform in front of a fucking rebel flag and they didn't say jack it's just two months before this crap about the rebel flag they didn't say jack shit about that so we always thought it looked cool i was, that's a really cheap backdrop. Me and my wife, we live in Nashville. We can get one of those anywhere.

That's what we had. When we came to the stadium and we lowered these fucking flags, they looked like this fucking big. Excuse me, this being tiny. Yes, tiny. Yes, tiny. We came out to Black Oak Carcassaw singing dixie which was very non-inclusive let's just say so so we we ditched that fast i was like

it was like it's like they're taking this all the wrong way the rebel plans got lowered and those are're ditching the burning cross closer, too. Hey, man. That's y'all's deal, man. John Waters reference? John Waters. Yes, John Waters. They didn't get these people.

What are you, fucking born in a cave? You don't get John Waters. John Waters' crybaby has a fucking rebel flag for the goddamn thing. That's it. And an obscure John Waters at that. Crybaby? No, I think that's it and an obscure yeah john waters at that uh cry baby no i think this one that's this was one of people saw i i don't know i hate john waters oh wait is he the twin peaks guy what's that guy david lynch that's the one i could never sorry sorry john waters all right sorry i might not hate you. I don't know. Anyway. Don't get any references.

We come out in the stadium. These kids come to see Marilyn Manson. And we came out to the Black Hawk Arkansas version of Dixie, which is hard to listen to, even if you like the South and the band. I sound like Paul Verratti compared to this fucking dude. It was like, there's like three fucking flags being lowered. And it's like, I wish I was in a land of cotton. They're like, boo.

Wait, this is your band doing this? This is his band. So we switched from the first. I was like, okay, we're coming out to Van Halen running with the devil. And I was like, don't. Which was still lost on most of these kids, man. But this is Marilyn Manson. Manson, if I remember the story from yesterday, barely.

Manson had some backdrop that to fuck with him on the last night of the tour, they changed his demonic type of backdrop to a big happy smiley face. Manson had some backdrop that to fuck with him on the last night of the tour, they changed his demonic type of backdrop to a big happy smiley face. He had a podium, which was like when he wrote Pages of the Bible, which had the symbol for danger, you're going to get electrocuted, the symbol for danger, you're going to get electrocuted, which is put on things that are obviously some big electrical engine that's as big as a room, like a warning voltage. And he had that on his podium. And he'd been up all night, for some reason,

partying with our ex-bass player, who was a stupid idea to do in the first place. So he comes on stage. He comes on stage, and he hadn't slept. And what I did to both our bass player who partied with him and her husband at the time was gave them a habanero pepper, which is like will make you feel 20 pounds thinner. Yeah, he told me that yesterday.

And this is the perfect hangover cure. Make someone eat a habanero pepper. No, if you have to do something and you're getting a cold or you're feeling down, The Pink Floyd scene after he shaved his eyebrows and they have to jack him up with B12 and he's melting. Well, you see, Manson had the B12 guy there and it didn't work. got there and it didn't work and no now my wife well my wife got a uh i wouldn't get a b12 from manson's guy on the tour and she came out and did a one-handed cartwheel on the stage that's that's like that's the b12 does work but it does have their limits the thing is if you eat and have an air pepper seeds seeds and all for the first 10 minutes you're probably going to cuss me and

say fuck you but you can't because you're salivating like crying no you'll you'll spit up and you might vomit and stuff but when it kicks in you will feel you'll you'll have an hour or so of like this you'll feel 20 pounds lighter and retard strength 10 10 years younger man and that i gave it to our bass player and and it worked. I was like, so, and she had access to Manson. We didn't because she was kind of the star at the time. So she took a half an herb pepper to Manson. He was like, there's no way.

I'm going to get off track here for a second because you always have two hot chicks in the band, and your wife is one of them. And when I looked you up, I'm i'm like oh i'm seeing a picture of a hot chick but they've been together since 1996 7 they started so uh let me make sure oh even the recent pictures she holds up in her 40s so she's uh but i was wondering i called her last night crying all right i was wondering happy you happy happy now i was wondering because you have a new bass player who's i called her i called her crying

no i didn't all right i'm just wondering is there is the bass player chick like menudo where you have to switch out for a new younger uh you know we i i i've backed myself in the corner until i have to get a girl and uh and sometimes it's been the dumbest idea i've ever had so your bass player now bonnie bonnie bonnie she's uh she's 35 now but you've known her since she was 16 and you would sneak her into gigs yeah it's interesting i mean uh she was she tried out um when she was 20 and someone else tried out and we i thought the other girl fit because to play bass and our band is not any kind of musical feat i'm glad she no no no but she did show up during this podcast and left probably because I'm smoking.

For various reasons. I would always say, I could teach a monkey to play bass in our band. Then I would pause for a second. I'm a monkey. I mean, the first band to have a monkey. Especially nowadays with this shit going on, man. Yeah, you know, it's like, don't hate the monkey and all that. All right, so Manson's on stage, fucked.

The habanero pepper did not work. The B-12 did not work. He does seven lines of cocaine instead, which is like when you've done 50 the night before, it does not work. Yeah. Found that out on Saturday. Oh, you're very good. So he came on, and he was like so like, I mean, because he, dude, the guy is amazing. And he was usually this beam, this fucking,

radiates this fucking personality across the fucking stadium. It's something I can't do. It's something we can't do. He fucking did it. And he was there, and he was, like, so lethargic. But there was one scene he had where he had, like, the electrical, like, danger sign on top of on the podium on the podium and the uh and the crew hated his gut so much and they did you know and you can't you can't

piss off people that work for you that's the way it goes that's why he's not playing these places anymore it's like he's like um they put a fucking 70 smiley face on the podium and it meant yellow happy yellow happy face i think you kids have it on your phone and you have various various uh emoticons emoticons yeah there's one that cries the one that doesn't cry the one that's like sitting there and happy you 70s smiley face. You said it perfect. They put that instead of his high-voltage danger. And he thought we did it. And so they came back and they started yelling at us. And I was like, no, I wish I would have thought of that.

And he tried to turn on the podium. This is on stage, like during his closing. In Iowa. In Iowa. And he notices. He looks over and sees that and he tries to turn the podium over and it's heavy because weighted down and you gotta go wheel it out and plus he'd been up all night and plus he weighs like about 100 pounds yeah he's not a threatening figure

in a horror movie way but not in a i'm going to start tossing heavy furniture way. No, no. And so he tried to turn the podium over, and it was like looking like an ant trying to take something up a hill or something. It was not good. It was like an ant trying to carry an apple or whatever. Yeah, Stretch Armstrong was big, but those arms are rubbery. So he tried to turn it over, and it didn't happen and just he

just kind of ended up pushing it and last thing he did was like he pushed a symbol over for the drums and walked off and that was it because it's like your wife throwing a vase at you during a domestic thing and it just bounced and there's a there's a there was a there was a a riot after the show that we didn't see because our band was in a dressing room that was behind a pretzel stand. That's right. No, we weren't. We walked off stage like rock stars. We kicked ass that night.

And we kicked Merlin Manson's ass. It was like, we kicked, okay, we toured this guy for a month. The one gig we kicked his ass is the one that he stopped short and did a party tonight. Oh, that's right. It wasn't a closing bit. It was that night. It was that night.

We were at Denny's, of all places, and there was a bunch of kids because the only thing was open in Iowa. And I came there for the concert, and you guys are better it's like okay and under this circumstance we're better otherwise that guy it was amazing i mean i guess that guy i think i said i brought i had people they're really old and i brought them out and they said i saw us cooper 1931 blah blah i was like well you haven't seen this you have not seen this guy do this thing and uh they would they would just start to go holy shit you know one night hang on we this i want to go into something that we were talking about between bands and comedians is that in comedy relatively there's not that kind

of i'm gonna blow them off a stage kind of mentality no no relatively with you relatively with comedians and and musicians i i always hear them talking shit about other bands but we get along though but we get along not necessarily we we i thought i have never been in a green room situation where someone's like, fuck that comic. Really? Well, I mean, it's mild gossipy shit. But hang on. At the end of the night, when people say you're all selling merch and someone comes up to you and says, you should have been the headliner. It's wincing to every comic.

Like, this is not a fucking competition. Really? In comedy, I've always felt like it's us against the audience. It's us and the bar staff against the audience. But, okay, but if that's the case, you don't like my friend because he slid you in 1996. Yeah, David Cross. And I know it's the most petty thing, and I said that out loud.

We don't do that. One petty slight that really cut me at that time, because I had just moved to L.A., and I did have that mentality of all the comics. When we're on the road, was a road guy i didn't come from a scene i started in vegas where there was really no where you from massachusetts but i started comedy in vegas and then went immediately to shitty one-nighters and i lived out of my car until 95 five years later i was i moved to la and i sat down with him after I filmed a fucking show,

Premium Blend for Comedy Central. He wasn't even on it. He was just at it, and there was a bar in the theater, and there was one corner table you could smoke at. You could still smoke in bars but not restaurants. So this had a restaurant side and a bar side, and I was dating Christine Hodge at the time. I don't know if i've ever yeah

and uh she's there i have a fucking child actress hot girlfriend and i like he's sitting in the one corner booth with a bunch of people and i still have that mentality that all the comics sit together in the back of the fucking room and a bunch of people left and he's there with a couple people in this big circular booth and i all the bar stools were taken and i sat down i went oh thank god finally and uh he just looks at me he goes i'm with people uh yeah okay and i well i said i'm sorry this is the only seat that i could sit in to smoke. And he points to the restaurant, which is half empty, which is right there.

All right. And I just sheepishly walked away. I thought all comics kind of hung out. No, well, okay. Here's like, you know, to me, musicians are like jocks. Wait, let me, because since we're putting this out. Let's put it out. I did also say to you that since then, I've become that same kind of cunty guy.

I think you're more cunty than he is. He's a nice dude. Well, that was my only experience that I remember. I mean, I've met him. he's been around and festivals and stuff yeah but that was the one thing that even though i understand it now i still fuck i have this fuck no i love i love his comedy oh god damn you i do too and uh um but i my perception of comics is through him and uh i because also like when i first like we had thanksgiving dinner together because like i we went and saw his uh kind of more mainstream uh uh hbo special uh the pride is back or whatever and um we were in the back

and we didn't laugh and like the next night we were recording high as hell our second record in seattle and we we got we talked to him i was like hey i'll be in atlanta he's i'm from atlanta when are you gonna be there thanksgiving it's like come for thanksgiving so it's like we got kind of back to this corner to go to his house for thanksgiving and they're happy the natural pussy coming for thanksgiving apparently is a great thing everyone gets excited and shit we were excited yeah you were yeah that's so cool you guys were excited too and um you know uh and i came in and i'm i'm a musician and that's all i know and musicians are like jocks i mean you get to fuck way harder

chicks than you deserve box outside your weight yeah yeah trust me yeah and i came in and and i so i judge most well my comic experiences from being around around David. And to me, though, to me it's like knowing Groucho Marx. I think the guy's amazing. But I don't know what you comics, how we relate to each other, but I'm amazed by it because I'll watch like a Marin TV show or like how you guys talk. Like when you get three or four of you guys together, your perception is like, you've got to be annoying.

You guys notice fucking everything. No, I love it. When Chaley's here, he's like, oh, fuck, the audio. No, the sound of making drinks and tinkling fucking ice cubes in the glasses is great. Comics notice every fucking thing everyone does, which, I mean, musicians are jocks, basically. I have peripheral vision so keen that I don't see what's going on in front of me. Honestly, I'm talking to you, and you can tell my face is glazed over. You're talking to him.

I'm talking to him right now because... Talking to me is a little much. No, talking over you is a bit much. And I'm aware of the fact that I'm not listening because I'm looking at something else over there that could be a problem. No, you're aware of the fact you're not listening. Okay, musicians are not aware of the fact

they're not listening. Unless the sound guy doesn't have it in the monitors. I need more monitor. I need to hear me more. I got, yeah, I got, you have no idea. I've thrown, I've thrown. I'm surprised you haven't asked for Shawnee's headphones so you can hear yourself.

I didn't like hearing myself. Other people like it. We'll see what the feedback is. Well, okay. Hey, this is going to be, this is going to be post-popular podcast ever no the one that everyone's waiting for is we brought podcasting equipment just like you know inside pocket kind of shit to manson's house and we did this four hour rambling where bingo has to

hold the thing with the two mics attached while we wander around and I go out to smoke because you can't smoke over his giant sterling silver plate of cocaine. Yeah, he's still doing coke. I didn't say that. It might have been a joke. Lawyers are listening. Fucking shit, man. God damn.

That's been like 16 years man if we're rambling no that was just so bingo listened to it uh and said maybe you could get a half an hour out of the last hour i hope we get 45 minutes out of this hope bingo thinks this is a 45 minute oh no this one's it's fine this is a 45-minute podcast. Oh, no, this one's fine. This is the greatest podcast in the history of... You know, I've had a podcast called The Drunken Rock Show, and it was the

most popular thing I'd probably done, but my roommate, who set everything up, we got like... I would just mostly play music, and I would talk in between. And you did it. You did it. Doug did for my radio, for Slingy Pig Radio, Doug did an ID.

How did that happen? My roommate got a hold of you because, dude, you've got a thing online. How did this happen? I contacted you. Okay, so we never actually talked before. No. I probably left it on a voicemail no you here we are you like you don't even talk to these people and you leave your

fucking information out for the public i would i would rather die and maybe you're difficult it is to get here i'm not worried about people no up at the door. No, it wasn't difficult. My phone told me how to get here, man. It was a 35-hour solid drive. No, seriously, come here. Come here. You're all on the back. Come here, bring your kids and your dogs and your pets. Yeah, bring a baby.

I love a baby. If you don't have a baby, rent one. And come here. Come here to this fucking place. Because this guy has this old-fashioned idea that everyone's invited. No, I don't have that idea. No, stop. Yes, he does, dude.

He didn't know me. But you're road people. He goes, I would never let strangers. You're not strangers. You're fucking road people. We're strangers. Comics and stuff. No, we're not comics. We're not comics. You're fucking road people. We're strangers. Comics and stuff. No, we're not comics.

We're not comics. No, I'm saying comics, bands, road people. When you... Yeah, and... But that's so admirable. Except one open-miker from fucking Tucson who's not a road person that tried to steal booze.

No, no. Just to be a dick. Just those words were the one open mic-er from Tucson. He knows who he is. You know what? I would have locked things down and got, instead of these friendly dogs, I had dogs that bite

people's nuts off. Based on an open mic-er. Ichabod's not friendly. That's why we keep Ichabod for a fucker, because there's tweakers around. Some dogs slept with me. I don't know. That's Henry Phillips.

I would have a dog. No. He said, who's the brown dog? And we have a black dog and a white dog with brown spots. But then I looked. Oh, Ichabod's with me. He must mean Henry Phillips. And Henry Phillips.

Henry Phillips. Henry, Henry, Henry Phillips. There she is. Henry Phillips, Henry Phillips. Henry, Henry, Henry Phillips. There she is. Oh, there she is. She's named after a brilliant comic named Henry Phillips. There's a brilliant comedy. Why would you have a dog named Henry Phillips?

Now, why would you have a dog named Henry Phillips? It's just like a brilliant comedy, Henry Phillips. Okay. I didn't know about this guy. Here's the story. We got Ichabod. really calming him your phillips okay well i didn't know about this here's the story all right we got ichabod as a he was living in our house while we were on the road underneath the crawl space uh uh as a puppy no shit it took us three days to get him to come to us he'd sneak running out of the crawl space that little hole and we lured him in over days with food and he was terrified and then bingo wanted to keep him

i'm no we don't we're like we're on the road fucking three month stretches how we're gonna keep a dog and then she stayed home because of the dog wow the costa rican vacation i had to go alone because of the dog and then that's what the wife we're trying to come up with names. And Henry Phillips has a song that is an appropriate lyric where he's talking to the father of the blind date. And I said, your dad says the dog's name is Henry. And I laughed and said, that's my name as well. And I go, let's name the dog Henry Phillips phillips after henry phillips and we called him drunk and said hey we just named our new puppy after you and then in the morning we

woke up and go yeah that's a dumb name and we moved on and found ichabod seven months later we're at the death valley party and henry phillips shows up to the death valley party and he says oh is that the dog you named after me oh god oh fuck we never told you we we we changed our mind yeah he goes hey yeah i spent six months telling people you named a dog after me so then we get back and this puppy just shows up fucking stranded just wagging his little tail under my car scared i'm like all right if you're gonna have one dog you two dogs they'll amuse each other and i get i go we owe it to henry phillips to name the new dog henry phillips even though it's a girl i just think people would be surprised by a comedian who hates everything

that they all relate to people hate everything it's like you're you're like you're a fucking humanitarian and um you know well what it's not what henry phillips is concerned no no you fucking are a good guy you didn't know me for shit and you invited me in your home and you put up with my ass for uh drunken um conversations and overtaking everything till i passed out i mean i don't do that you know i did that at your house and you i would never oh if you if you said i'm coming to april i know i love your fucking comedy but if you said i'm coming to atlanta can i I love your fucking comedy, but if you said I'm coming to Atlanta, can I come to your house for Thanksgiving? I'm going to drive most of the way.

When I get there, I'm going to drink and I'm going to talk a lot. And I would say, fuck you. No, I wouldn't. I mean, I can't... The inviting, inclusive aspect of this situation, I'm inspired and amazed by, in all honesty. Because I used to be a nice guy.

You used to be funny. You used to be a nice guy. Let's recap the podcast. I used to be funny no it used to be a nice guy let's recap the podcast i used to be i used to be funny and he's you know yes i used to be funny he's a nice guy and i'm not you are no well thank you and you fucking rob and bonnie the band hang on they have to be nice they have to be nice we're gonna close this up and we're gonna no fucking... No, fucking Rob and Bonnie are amazing. Rob, I... Yeah, they should be here talking to me. No, I wish I could talk to them more, but it's Thanksgiving, and we've got 30 people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you... Stop. Before you get to the I love you mans, I need to do two things. I wasn't going to do that yet. I need to plug your dates. You're all up the West Coast.

San Diego, go to... Nationalpussyanywhere.com. I've been going to do that, yes. I need to plug your dates. You're all up the West Coast. San Diego. Go to... Nashvillepussyanywhere.com. I don't know. I'm not on that line. Just Google search Nashville Pussy because it goes San Diego up through California, Oregon, into Vancouver, across Canada, Western Canada,

and then down through, I think, Salt Lake and Denver and Albuquerque, the Launchpad. Launchpad, which we love. Dante's. They're playing Dante's in Portland, my favorite fucking bar ever. You know what? They let the Dante's. Yeah, well, okay.

Okay. Dante's is we packed. So look up the dates. Let's go back to Launchpad. Where does it end? Yeah, the Launchpad in Albuquerque. The only place I've ever played in albuquerque vegas which to me vegas is like i don't care where you play because there's waiting you know stage to go have fun uh oh wait oh that's i think

you're playing the place that i heard about bar tiki bar uh i don't dive bar but dive bar that's it it's owned by double down yeah oh Yeah. Oh, no. It might be. They might be like. Am I fighting now? Yeah. Anyway, Dive Bar is where they told me I should be playing. Anyway. No, we should do a tour together because like.

It honestly doesn't work. No. You know what? I'm not convinced of that. I've toured with two musicians, Mishka Shibali, who I love, and the Mattoid. Okay, all right.

So I don't know who those names are. They don't sound like they're from around here. Whatever, okay. It won't happen. Okay, for you people out there in this podcast. It doesn't work. The most popular podcast we're going to have, National Pussy and Doug Stenholm will never be touring together.

It's not going to happen. Well, we might show up and open for you just to fuck with the audience. Oh, yeah, that's it. That's successful. Just show up unannounced. Andy and I went out in front of Mansson in portland as the uh local fake uh morning radio guys i go hey we're you know fucking that's not what we're going to kbrl presents you know you hear us on 87.1 every morning that's right and tonight you guys ready

to rock and roll well nothing rock and rolls harder than a beanbag Chevrolet. Come down. We have a push puller. Drag it and blow it. And we started dropping all these corporate sponsors. We're being booed. Like a few people knew who I was and were laughing. But everyone's booing.

Pringles potato chips. That's nothing. Rock and rolls your world. Just dumb shit. Yeah. I had a podcast called The Drunken Rock Show, and I was trying to center on things that I actually like, like Asahi super dry beer.

I love Asahi. I do, too. I go to Japan. I drank the shit out of that, man. Anyway. In Europe, the fucking beer i hate but i'd go to sushi just to drink asahi asahi asahi but the thing is all right we're way off now i'm way off that's okay uh saw you super dry the ones we get in america are bottled in and in guelph ontario and which is like uh i mean it's

this is like guelph ontario is a city run by dogs yes officially in ontario as soon as you cross the american border there's guelph and like anyway all right so just remember as we're trying to close this out shawnee actually has to leave here after doing all the fucking dishes from Thanksgiving. He did. Reverend Derek is fired. He's unreliable now that he's got a chick. Shawnee has

to go actually work construction after we're done. No. Yes. After doing all the dishes and cleaning up the place and taking care of the turkey from yesterday. He did everything. He did.

He did. Super shiny. He was here at like 11 o'clock at night washing the dishes. And I finally woke up. He made this podcast happen. He called me. He's like, look at me. Can I help you?

He's the one who called me at 7 40 going you still want to do that podcast they go no but since you're ambitious when's the last time you had a job what's your last job uh telemarketing in uh 1990 i quit that 90 early 91 i my i was an ice cream i drove an ice cream truck in Nashville with my wife. It was illegal at the time, an immigrant. And then we drove, yeah. And I've actually, because I've got a car now, and I'm looking into Uber because it's just trying to,

like, maybe you should have a job. But when I hear about people doing, my friends have construction companies. They're like, hey, man, anytime you need to work, they're like, okay. But my wife, Ryder, she actually, she worked construction. Ryder size. Ryder size, man. And she worked construction because she liked doing it.

For the record, you were only invited because you had a hot wife and she didn't show up. I have a hot girlfriend. She didn't show up so i have a hot girlfriend she didn't show up either so i just mean fuck him now i plan on fucking all right yeah the construction thing petered out because you forgot the fact that we're trying to close so he can go work construction and that touched your heart so much you wanted to go on a 15-minute ambling. Oh, yeah, okay. Endless story. The second question was, do you own any of your own material that we can play to close this out? I own the fucking Masters, a bunch of shit. What's the most...

There's a song called Going Down Swinging that I wrote in seconds. Going Down Swinging. Going Down Swinging. Greg Chaley will be back on Sunday. He will find it, and this will go out hopefully Tuesday or so. He's got to take a minute to figure his shit out, and we'll close on Going Down Swinging. Yes, we will.

Is this it? I got to leave? Shit. It's an hour and five minutes seven god damn it it seemed like an hour it seemed like like 95 no it's no more no nashville yes yes we're here see them on tour uh yeah google it find the tour dates and go see them i'm i'm a lucky motherfucker i spent thanksgiving in Doug Stanhope's house, so I have a very trauma. And when you see Nashville, pussy, wear a T-shirt that Chaley has for sale on the website at DougStanhope.com.

How about that? And I'm a lucky motherfucker. Do you go out and do you actually sell merch? Do you go sign shit? Do you go out front after the show? Only if I'm really fucking broke. so he'll be out front selling i have uh no we have our own we have our own little merch where i have i have a gospel record we did believe it or not a gospel record i would listen to that first oh honestly i know you would and and i would try i tried my ass off

to be a gospel guy. Hang on. Listen. I told you, let's leave the door open a bit because the dogs will be scratching at the door and the cat will be crying outside. And I said, the cat will be crying outside anyway. So you're up to. Oh. We're going to close on that because I called it. Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nashville Pussy. What's the title? The song you just said. It's Going Down Swinging. Going Down Swinging. Yes. I'm at Doug Stanhouse. Good night.

Thank you. Cheers. Clink. Thank you. With no break. That was great. I'm pro. Down, swingin', goin' I can take a lickin' And I'll come back again

I'm the turkey fry But I ain't no chicken Goin' down, swingin' Baby, can you hear me? Goin' down, swingin' You're gonna have to kill me Baby can you hear me going down swinging You're gonna have to kill me Boy I'll make more noise than anyone on the land The leaves take the skin tall

And I'm a cold dead hand Going down swinging Baby can you hear me going? Down, swinging, you know they have to kill me Going, down, swinging, no, I'm in trouble, no, I'm in trouble, no, I'm in trouble We'll be right back. Going down, swinging Baby, can you hear me? Goin' down, swingin' Baby, can you hear me? Goin' down, swingin' You're goin' to kill me

Goin' down, swingin' Now and it's on, now and it's on Now and it's on, now and it's on Podcast is over. Pack it up. Let's get the hell out of here. Take the bod. No, man.

I had a... You know that since Trousers died, he just walks around crying for nothing all the time. You give him treats, he still cries. I'm not getting another kitten. Fucker. I got three cats at home, and I've had them for 15, 16 years, and they go outside, and we have a...

They don't talk like that. But me and my wife, I mean, dude, I don't know, man. I had a big fucking thing last night. I saw you guys together and I started crying. Me and Bingo. Yeah, I started crying. Yeah. And I called my wife up and I was like, what are we doing?

And, you know, yeah, we doing? And, you know. Yeah. So. How long have you been broken up? Like four or five years. I called it quits just because, I mean, she was with Jeff Henneman. This is a way to make a really interesting podcast. She was with Jeff.

And I've never been single. Ever. Me either. Except for the three years I lived on the road, and then there was just a lot of chicks. I was still not single. I just was always with a different chick. I never even had that. And so I was like, okay, I'm in my late 40s.

I've got this cult of Scandinavian young chicks like me, and I'm fucking kicking ass, and it didn't, you know, I was trying to make a divorce record, because at some point, there was a black cloud that just followed me, and I thought I could escape it, I thought, you know, I became a hedonist, and it just sucked, and like, you know, I became a hedonist. And it just sucked. And, like, you know, I got a girlfriend that's amazing. She's so goddamn smart. She's so fucking smart. It'll blow your mind. In Portland.

And my ex, but the thing is, we're sitting there going, I talked to my ex last night. It's like, what are we doing? we're sitting there going, I talked to my ex last night, and it's like, what are we doing? My wife was like,

because our relationship was the best thing we got, and we built a whole, we were nominated, I mean, we were couch surfing, and then we were nominated for a Grammy within a year.

And like, it's been very successful, you guys build things, you know? And when she's with her boyfriend, and i'm with my girlfriend we're not building stuff you know we're not building things you know and what's your you live in atlanta you live in rent a place are you no no i gotta fuck i got a house

it's like i got a house and that we have me we have a house that's like... I got a house and that we have... We have a house that's like... People are trying to buy it for twice what we pay. And we got most of our money from being fired. Because they scared... No, they scared the shit... Fuck the sex pistol. National Pussy, we got $200,000 from being

fired. We scared the shit... Me being me, I don't scare you. I don't scare you. I scared the shit i me being me i don't scare you i don't scare you but they i scared the record industry back at that point and they're like this guy's crazy you know fuck him he's crazy you know and it's like so we just get rid of him we went from having dan goldberg and tom zutaut to all of a sudden having these other people that took over the record industry and that they just got rid of it. How much time do you spend in Atlanta? Like none.

My wife's in California. We had a breakup. It was pretty mutual. She was with Jeff Henman from Slayer. Then he died. Did you have a ha ha moment? No. No, I liked him.

I liked both of them. I miss him. I miss those guys. And I thought it was a good situation because I'd never been single. And I had a 27-year-old Swedish girlfriend at the time who, you know, so I was like,

well, I'm happy you're happy. We're good. And that shit came the and i and when he died no it fucking sucked it sucked that's my fucking soulmate and now and when she's sad i'm sad and that's the way it goes when we talk how long were you together me and my wife, we're still married 24 years. So you were together 20 years. We were together 20 years. I got married as a joke in Vegas when I was 20 years old. Okay, I got married.

I mean, I got married for legal reasons also. The point is, that lasted a year and a half, and then I got divorced two years ago. We were married 27 years. Whenever it and then i got divorced two years ago we were married 27 years whenever it was we get divorced i don't go well we're still married i did jokingly so but you you were with your wife for 20 years about yeah 20 years and i called it quits just because like i didn't like the i thought the fuck pole was getting out of hand and i had a 27 uh i i i like young girls i have like a young no one says i like elderly women

she's got rid of one man thank you she wanted to hear this she had no idea um no but uh uh but no my wife still looks young. She's a little cool, but I was happy. I was happy. She found, you know, cause you can't, you know, it's a cliche now, but the first time I heard it, uh, when someone said I, I was a young comic with a mullet and i said oh she's really hot and the headliner guy says no matter how good they look somewhere someone's sick of fucking them and i was like it absolutely all right so the thing is like me and my wife and we're in business together

hank williams i like having girls that i never had. Thank you, Junior. So I was like, uh. Thanks for correcting me. Yeah. I just, I knew the fucking name, kinda. And that's an old song. The number three is my buddy. But it's like, no, we were on each other nonstop. And I just like, you know.

Get a still from over there. Just keep talking because we're taking pictures. Recording still? No, thumbnails. We're thumbnails for when he puts a picture of us talking. I mean, Hanneman from Slayer. It doesn't have to be that far away. You just keep taking pictures.

We just keep talking. No, it's like he Hanneman is like, you know, and I've never been single before. So all of a sudden, he's like, I'm single and you know, single with the house and a fucking 1970 Chevelle Malibu

and with some bread in my pocket. You drive a whole piece of shit. Oh, dude. No. a whole piece of shit. Oh, dude. No. Well, yeah. I got it. I got it. I'm fucking with you. I am.

But the thing was, you're way more hot when you have someone that you're not single. You're way more hot when you look like that and do rock and roll rather than look like you and do construction no one cares about the chevelle job you got a job for me man i don't know construction yet anyway it's a wicked scam how entertainment gets you, again, boxing outside of your weight. Oh, man, I got my girlfriend just texted me,

and she's 33. She looks like she's 25, and she's fucking beautiful, and she's smarter than shit. 33 looks like 25 to me at 48. They all look the same. No, and... Young people are black people to me. They all look the same.

Sorry if I'm an ageist. and um young people are black people to me they all look the same sorry you were like you were like no against the young if there's a way you could take her over by killing you with a lemon i think you would at least have entertained the thought she's she fucking killing her with a lemon killing me with lemon not her i still have no idea what the fuck that means. I just see lemons. Did you just start that sentence in a Brady, Jan Brady? Whatever. Yeah, whatever. Yeah.

I have a boyfriend. His name's Ron. Ron Lemon. I do. Ron Lemon. I'm way luckier than I should be. So, yeah, that's where it goes. It's kind of my cross is I complain all the time and I have a perfect life.

No. I'm ugly. I have a good girlfriend. He's cool. With options if I didn't. I know. The options are my downfall i think you know what are we talking about are we still recording this shit we've been recording this whole time why do you think i keep sticking the mic in your face you're too drunk you're too drunk you drink he sticks in the mic in my face i did when i he did it first then i did it after yeah we've been recording since we closed these are good mics i got i got i got my my podcast i had i got one from my guitar center like uh this is like oh like looks like an old radio mic um anyway anyway uh

yeah any names you mentioned during that will bleep out yeah guitar center no no we love guitar center guitar center we love guitar center it's uh it's like where you can go you can see people see 12 year old kids try to play stairway to heaven with a guitar that's like tethered to some like a fucking pole jaylee's good about editing i don't think he wanted to say that. I have a very charmed life that I can come and hang out with you because you're like one of the few people who make me laugh.

You made me laugh yesterday saying almost nothing. You were kind of an easy laugh yesterday. Okay. And this morning. You'd have laughed more if I could have finished a lot of sentences. No, fuck you. I'm not an easy laugh, man.

Oh, God damn it. Ow. Ow. I told you, it gets to an hour where it's all ball busting. Oh. Johnny's just waiting for the- I feel terrible. Like an hour where it's like uh racist jokes come out oh no no no for me for me no i'm saying for me i told you yesterday

he goes i'm not gonna talk bad about because he's my friend you're some band guy but but no race and i go first of all why wouldn't you talk bad about your friends that's what we do behind their backs and to their faces at a certain hour well i'm glad i i it's one thing i envy about the new york comedy scene is the ball busting like that patrice jim norton uh uh god damn it uh fuck bonnie mFarland and Rich Voss. They're all just heavy fucking with each other. But you name all these people that don't make me laugh. You make me laugh.

No, I'm talking about the ball busting. I know, but you're way better than those guys. The people you just said, like, Jim Norton. Stop. No, no, fuck you. This is not a podcast. This is my mic. First of all, if stop don't no no it's not a podcast this is my this is this is my it's my this is my mic you first of all you don't win me no no david tell is funny i think david tell came

to fucking atlanta no no david don't david tell came to atlanta and he what he did he was like uh my friends hanging around david cross and and david oh, you brought these Klingons. And I'm like, yeah, those are my fucking friends. And then he's never... And he... When he had his show, he went to Holland and was like, oh, I didn't get any laughs. But dude, you got laughs when you were in Holland.

You got laughs in Scandinavia because you're funnier than that guy. Such thing as funnier. It's a personal opinion. This is why I defend. I'll defend Foghat. I defend Foghat. Now, Foghat.

No, no. All right. All right. I'll defend. As a musician, I will tell you why Foghat is like the highest thing we've read. In music, there's an actual talent of being able to touch strings and keys. Yes, yes.

There's not that in comedy. Yes, there is. And you have it. You've got to face that. No, I don't think I'm funny. Oh, you're crazy. You don't think you're fucking funny, dude. I wouldn't listen to me.

You fucking bore the shit out of me. I do listen to you. So what? So what, am I wasting my time? Give me a break. I was like, no, listen to me. You fucking bore the shit out of me. I do listen to you. So what? So what am I wasting my time? Give me a break. I was like, no, you inspire me. You're fucking funny. So, you know, you're not, you're, no.

That's why I have to accept that someone's, if that's their personal opinion. It's going to be hard to sleep. You don't have to be. I'll blame him. Hang on, hang on. Wait, let me make one fucking point is you don't have to. You can be funny without being a comedian. No, you can't be a musician without playing music.

Okay. All right. Here's my thing. Okay. You have to learn how to be a musician. You can just be naturally a funny fucking dude. And the funniest people I met never touched a musician. You can just be naturally a funny fucking dude, and the funniest people I met never touched a microphone.

Okay. That's you being you. Right. That's me being right, and we're going to close on that. No, no, no. Here's how this works. I'm in control. No, you are

fucking hysterical. And all I can say is a lot of musicians wanted to be comedians, but unfortunately most comedians think they're... Most musicians think they're comedians. They think they're funny. And no, getting an average person off the street that you think is funny

will fucking freeze when the time comes. When you fucking don't know. You've never known. You're missing the point. No, you're being dumb. You can say Foghat is great musically. I did. But no one is natural. You don't go, hey, that guy was really musical.

No, but you're. You say that guy was really funny. That guy we had over, the brother-in-law of the lady. No, but. He was really funny, that guy we had over, the brother-in-law of the lady. No, but you – He was really funny. I understand when you're saying that the people that make you laugh are people in life that you meet, and they are funnier than most comedians, but they're not funnier than you. To you?

No. To me, yes. Yes, that's right. I'm fucking – yes. All right. No, you're not bailing out on this. You're fucking one of the few people that can make me laugh. You're like five people.

You're a fucking geek. I don't care. Your bandmates are wandering around and still smoldering fire. I've got to play San Diego. There's Rob. Hey, Rob, get in here. This is how this works. So you said once people start complimenting you, the show's over, right?

No, no. I'm just saying. Here's what we did. We did a fake close, and then he started telling real stories. Rob the drummer is fucking waiting to leave. Yeah, I know. And I was trying to compliment him, and apparently that dislike. Oh, yeah, get out of here. Shush for a second.

Here's what we did. We did a fake close, and then he started talking real. Not that he wasn't, but we kept recording where he didn't think he was on mic, and now it's 20 minutes. What we do is we're going to play the song that we announced for the closer. And then this will go on for anyone who sits through the song and still listens. We've done this a couple of times. Hidden tracks where Joby didn't want to talk about the gruesome details of his sister's liver failure death.

So you're comparing my mind. Just saying this is this is bonus footage on the podcast is that so liver failure is in me or a bonus footage right that's it just we were talking anyway he was recording anyway manning the guy he didn't notice that he he's talking and we keep doing this with the mic to his face well no that way we do this i don't know he's had two drinks by the way he's fucking hammered all right or maybe he's always this with the mic to his face. He leaves that way when we do this. He's had two drinks, by the way. He's fucking hammered. Or maybe he's always like that.

Maybe he's a drunk boxer. I'll pour him in the bed and we'll get out of here. Alright. I can do seven and a half hours on his own. Oh yeah, very good. As long as you don't let Bonnie drive.

Put him behind the wheel drunk before you let a chick drive. Nah. Yeah. When will crash cars on purpose, man? That's been proven. Yeah. Oh, shit.

There's no soda. Hey, is that pop-off? Always mention pop-off. Always be brand new. A pop-off. Hey, pop off vodka. We haven't, our long term, our longest sponsor, we haven't pitched pop off vodka for a while.

Hey, pop off vodka, people. It's a plastic jug so big you can crawl inside with all of your deepest fears and still fit comfortably. Pop-off vodka. Go down to the bottom of the shelf of your local barred window retail liquor establishment in that part of town. Get yourself a bottle of pop-off vodka.

It makes you smile like you just got 500 surprise dollars in the mail. And now back to the podcast, already drinking. Pop-Pop Vodka. Pop-Pop Vodka. All right. That's it. That's it. Shut it down.

Shut it down. Shut me down. That's wicked. Awesome. Wicked. You're from Boston. Yeah. That's my only talent. Wicked. Wicked retarded. Wicked You're from Boston Yeah That's my only talent

Wicked retarded Wicked retarded Retarded You gotta say retarded Wicked retarded Wicked retarded Alright you're driving It's wicked

I'm getting drunk I grew up No I got I got If I had to fake the accent It would be even worse Than Ray Dunham He's telling you

You're from Arizona. It's okay. Hello, Arizona. Hello, there you go. The comics are the funniest ones that I've seen up there for sure, man. It's inherent funny in Boston. All the misery of Boston. Or you're smart and you're educated.

No, I have a ninth grade education. Ninth grade. I didn't technically graduate yeah ninth grade but then I remembered

oh I went to summer school but yeah then I quit well you've done very well sorry you've made me laugh I started kissing your ass on your podcast

I shut that down pretty quick I want to get to the I love you man I didn't say that I didn't say that. I didn't say that. You're waiting for that. It was the theme of what you were going into.

I love you. I love you, too. Thank you. Thank you very much. We did plug your dates against his will. Yeah, I don't love those dates, man. They're playing whiskey on the Sunday. If you guys come up

you'll double the audience seriously because I wish I had the Are you playing the whiskey? Did you say? Yes. It should be natural pussy, black pussy

but it's like we're playing the band called In The Whale because they have a Red Bull endorsement. Yeah. It's like guitar is like it's like it's terrible. We don't like anything though. endorsement. A couple of stupid kids with guitars. Yeah, guitars. They're terrible.

We don't like anything, though. We hate everything. We should tour with him, and he won't do it, but we should make him. Go together? Yeah, we should play for him. And we'll go play music, and everyone will come down. A one-off, not a tour. It doesn't work. I've played with

musicians. It doesn't work. It does work. You're right. It doesn't work. I've played with musicians. It doesn't work. It does work. You're right. It doesn't work totally. The first lesson I ever learned in comedy was never, because starting out, you'd take any stage time you could get. So we'd go to wherever they had a band in Vegas and go, hey, we'll work the band break.

And fucking awful. No one wants to see you. Vegas is a different animal. No. I love Vegas, though. Your fans don't know me, and my fans came for comedy. They don't want to hear music.

We have the same, we're just actually the same fans. They're just disgruntled people who hate everything. And the one band they like is us, the one comedian they like is you. Yes. If there was a through line.

When I did the 30 days in the hole, everyday podcasting, quitting smoking and drinking two drinks a night, and we podcasted every day, I would play one of my favorite songs from my iPod. And there's yeah, everyone, someone fucking hates it. Artie Shaw?

No, no, actual songs. Like 30 Days in the Hole? 30 Days in the Hole, that was the play it out. You know, 30 Days in the Hole? Yeah. 30 Days in the Hole! That's Dude. Dirty days in the hole.

That's why we called it. Do you want us to bring the instruments in and play the fucking song right now for you? Abso-fucking-lutely. Does Bonnie know that song? Yes. Is Rob in that song? Yes. Black Lebanese.

It's got me weak in the knees. That's us. We fucking do that? How the us We can do this fucking heartbeat God damn it You gotta be somewhere We can do the fucking heartbeat I'll put it to a vote with the band Because this is a democracy

You can't fire him twice We know this song There's a segue We do 30s in a hole. Yeah, these guys are fucking brilliant. We're fucking great. I'm saying you have a timeline. You should get the fuck out of here.

No, I'm saying we should do 30s in a hole and you come out and sing. I can't sing. It doesn't matter if it's 30s in a hole. You basically talk. Then we walk off stage and you're a comedy. It's the perfect segue. I thought you meant right now.

Yeah, you don't do it right now. I know, I know. Get the fuck out of here. We gotta get out of here. Yeah, we gotta get... I'm on your door, yeah? Yeah, Steve Mara, he died.

His, the singer... I say he only had two drinks, but I went to bed at 9.30. He woke up. They're not responsible. At 10, so God knows how long he sat in the bar. No, I like a whole thing. I cried last night and talked to my wife. Oh, shit.

Bam. Rider. Yes. Video. She was behind the scenes. Did you get any? Bam Ryder Video She was behind the scenes Why were you filming the podcast? Film it now because we're still recording Film this Film this

It was two drinks Plus a double shot of Jack Yeah alright three drinks I'm down to 30 We're podcasting still Oh can't see this double shot of Jack. Yeah, alright, three drinks. I'm down to 30. We're podcasting still. Oh, can't see this? Alright, okay.

Hello. Tell me... You got it? Video? Get your phone set up because you know how to do that and then there's no bullshit. Sorry. Oh, you got it? All right. No, you don't have to

put your phone down. Put your phone down. Because we have the mini stage set up. Yeah, so we're going to do 30 days in a hole. No, yesterday when you showed up, I was...

Other circumstances, if you had two days here when you emailed me and i said well you can even get here wednesday because i knew we couldn't do you like acoustic i can and thanksgiving at the same time but i wanted to like get you to play you did no shit we didn't do anything well we have a patio outside, too. We've had bands here, but I wasn't going to go, oh, you drove fucking 33 hours from Atlanta. Set up. You're here for Thanksgiving. We'd have been a thousand times better than anybody.

Stop. Ignore the camera. Ignore the camera. Ignore the camera. No, we're better than any of those other people. Blow your mind how good we are. No, I're better than any of those other people. Blow your mind how good we are. No, I'm talking. Wait, first of all, you're talking about my friends that have bands in town. We've had them play.

We're better than them. My friends play. The point is, I wouldn't ask you to play. The fact that I made you wake up and do a podcast before you're already late for your San Diego gig. I'm feeling very honored by talking to you, period, because I think this is like... Stop. Stop with it. First of all, she should be wandering with the

camera while we're podcasting, because you keep playing to it. If you get behind me, just wander around. Just wander around. See, every time I start complimenting this guy, he doesn't like it. No, every time you look at the camera, this is supposed to be behind-the-scenes footage, you fucking cunt. I'm doing it great, and you're ruining it.

As soon as the camera goes on. Is this Girls Gone Wild again? Where did I get my t-shirt? I wish. I wish this girl was gone. It was fucking fantastic having you guys here. Well, I mean, thank you for having me here. Thank you.

Right. Thank you for having us here, man. Us, thank you. Thank you for saying us, not me. It's not all about you. It is. Well, they've learned this. Hi, I'm blaine who has a who's 55 years old and has a name blaine 51 whatever

who's not 30 years younger than you my mother blaine is a soccer kid i i know man yeah my mother was 16 years old she didn't and Blaine have to go to soccer. Yeah. I stole that from Christine Levine. I was born in Turtle Park in Kentucky. Wasn't born in Massachusetts. Didn't I? Yeah.

At Six Flags or wherever. Oh, because it was 15 degrees warmer there. What the fuck does that mean? There's a lot of really nice places in Kentucky and a lot of shitholes in Massachusetts. What are you fucking talking about? Yes, I know. Exactly.

You guys are going to go to San Diego. Yeah, we do. And he's trying to get us out of here. I don't need you to leave. I already started drinking. I'm going to have to keep going. You have to do a gig tonight seven and a half hours away yeah you have to you're gonna have to deal with like people who

don't laugh at everything you say man well if there's one thing that i i begrudge about you is you didn't bring your hot wife and i know she's writer'ssized for not even being here for Thanksgiving. Yeah, she will come at any point. Literally. Except for Thanksgiving, when I would be giving thanks for her being here. Thankfully, you brought the hot bass player, Rob, who's very nice. Get the fuck out of here. You've got a gig to do. I'm drinking.

I've turned from podcaster into management. Get the fuck out of here we're like uh yeah i'm in trouble thank you uh uh nashville pussy and uh you're always welcome oh man coming through i thank you on your way to uh on the lane i i i like uh this this this dude this dude put it up in his podcast anytime you're coming through. And I happened to do the math. We were coming through on Thanksgiving. And he welcomed us. And they were excited about seeing us. I don't think Ryder wants you playing to the cameras.

She just gave you a perfect out. I'm not. I don't like perfect outs. That's not a thing. I don't like it. I'm still trying to impress your hot wife. You've already impressed me. You've impressed my hot wife before.

Good. Anyway. All right. That's it. We're not going to ever talk again. That's it. Got it? You email every five years.

That's good. All right. I got to go drink. I love you, sir. I'm coming around. Don't hug me over the bar. Don't hug me over the bar. Don't hug me over the bar. So let's get it on before the trucks wear off I'm nearly five foot nine in my cowboy boots

I'm the only man left in the room I've got it all, I've got it all Let's get it on Before the drugs wear off My wife's out of town cause her daddy just died So I got a place if you got a ride So come on. So come on. Let's get it

on. Before the drugs wear off. Cause when the drugs wear off, I'll probably just hit a drive-thru when the drugs wear off and crawl right into bed. We'll be right back. Cause when the drugs wear off I'll probably just hit a drive-thru

When the drugs wear off Crawl right into bed We'll be right back. You got it all So let's get it on Before the trucks wear off Let's get it on Before the trucks wear off Let's get it on Before the trucks rear off