The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #166: Vegas Todd-Cast with Todd Bridges SwapCast

Episode Date: September 16, 2016

Pool side at the Plaza in Las Vegas, NV Doug meets up with Todd Bridges (Diff'rent Storkes, Everybody Hates Chris & TruTV Presents: World’s Dumbest) and Juggie Angelique (The Man Show) to discuss their new live show "Lovers & Losers", the Man Show and some dark shit. Producer Bob Cola and Andy Andrist are also on the podcast.Doug's new special is now out on Seeso.com. Click here to sign up now and use offer code "stanhope" to get your first 2 months free!Recorded Aug 28, 2016 at The Plaza in Las Vegas, NV with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Todd Bridges (@ToddBridges), Juggie Angelique, Bob Cola, Andy Andrist (@AndyAndrist), Floyd (@ArizonaLizards), and Ggreg Chaille (@GregChaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.LINKS: Todd Bridges & Juggie Angelique host "LOVERS & LOSERS" an edgy, fast-paced totally LIVE Game Show at The Plaza in Las Vegas 5 nights a week.   LOVERS & LOSERS - http://dtlv.com/2016/06/09/todd-bridges-finds-new-stroke-plaza/   Shred & Sparkle - http://shredandsparkle.com/   The Destination Angles - http://thedestinationangels.com/ Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/   Closing song, "Party Time", by The Mattiod. Available on iTunes.   Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.com    Order Doug's audio book, "Digging Up Mother", HERE.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Are we going? We're go- we're- we're- this is- We don't have the air off yet. Oh fuck. What's- Turn it off. Turn it to the off and it takes a minute. It is on off, right? It's on auto. So the fan isn't on and it's on auto. Let's just say we're shooting back home where you live and there's helicopters. Oh no, it doesn't matter. You can fix it.

Yeah, cause Todd's gonna like, need a swimming pool. I- I sweat- I sweat like crazy. No one's gonna go- There was like a kind of a humming pool. I sweat like crazy. No one's going to go, there was kind of a humming sound. Go ahead and start. I know, we're starting. We're talking. We're here. This has actually been rolling since you guys showed up.

Waku. Oh, and this is the Doug Stano podcast and the... The Vegas Toddcast with Kyle Bridges. Yes. It's a swapcast. That's right. We coined the term, but we want everyone to steal it. Anytime two people that have a podcast are doing it together,

you both own it and you put it out. It's not like Letterman and Leno. What time are we planning on doing it together? It's no set. We're swapping. Yes, this is two podcasts in one. It's a swap cast. Nice. The Todd cast.

Nice. Nice. The Todd cast, Doug Stanhope swap cast. Nice. Todd, what is going on with your wrist? I was cooking dinner the other night and I burned it. But check it out. It's clearing up really fast because of the cream I'm using on it.

Working really well. You don't want to know about the cream, do we? Wait, how did you burn your wrist? No, I was cooking dinner for my son, and I forgot that the oven was hot at that part, and I reached in to grab it and psst, psst. You've got to eat the mic. How many podcasts did you eat?

It almost made me white. Did you notice that? Look at it. It's white. So underneath my brown skin is white. It kind of freaked me out. I was looking down my pants to make sure it was the right way. All right.

So let's catch people up on what you're doing here. We're at the Plaza Hotel in downtown Vegas, one of the stalwarts of old Vegas, like shitty, great Vegas. You're disappointed every time, but it's not the fucking MGM. What the fuck is that? Well, we have like 35 jobs. We're Jamaicans.

Yeah, we have a lot of jobs. What are you doing here? Because your face is all over the plaza. We have a show here called Lovers or Losers. It's a game show. We're giving away $1 million. That's right. $1 million. Somebody can win $1 million starting in 2019.

How does this work? Go ahead, Bob. Hang on. Let me explain who's here. Todd Bridges, Juggie Angelique from The Man Show. That's right. Vintage. Bob, who's the Chaley of your podcast.

He's the one that keeps it all together. Bob is a Jamaican. He has thousands of jobs here. First of all, Bob is. I'm Bob Cola, and I'm the producer of Lovers or Losers. Chaley has one job. That's to make sure we have ice, liquor, drives us to the show,

sells merch, produces the podcast. We'll get into all of his one jobs over the course. Well, let's talk about his one jobs because one of my one jobs on Lovers or Losers was not only his Vanna White, but also making sure Todd doesn't sweat with a towel. So I guess we're already slipping on your end. Yeah, I sweat very easy. You know, you invite us into your home and he's already sweating.

I'm sweating because we had to shut off the AC. My home and he's already sweating. You're going to start sweating because we had to shut off the AC. My chocolate is going to start to melt. Not going to be cool. And then he's really going to look white. Well, yeah, we had another friend in here yesterday. We have to shut off the AC

for audio purposes for the podcast. And a friend we podcasted with yesterday had to, like a boxer, have a towel over his shoulder to mop his sweat. Yeah, we sweat easy. Well, had to, like a boxer, have a towel over his shoulder to mop his sweat. Yeah, we sweat easy. Well, if we're going to talk for a little bit longer,

it's going to be a strip, a swap cast. Damn right. Because we're watching the guys take it off tonight. I don't want to embarrass any of these guys in here. Plus, we've seen it all before.

I take off my clothes to disgust people, but Angelique knows me. Well, that's why I keep coming back. That's why I had to call him and say, you're in town? Dang right. Images. So, lovers and losers.

Lovers and losers, that's right. How does a game show work? A game show works like this. We have four games, and then for the million dollars, we have four games, and the fifth game will be for the million dollars. And the ring toss game will decide who plays for the million dollars. And it's playing poker is what it is. You have to pick a Royal Flush with hearts.

You win the million. A Royal Flush with clubs, you win $50,000. And the rest of that, you win other prizes down below that. Thank you so much. She'll get an iced one for you. Yeah, and that's how they win that. And it's going to be pretty fun because if they don't win it, we're going to show it to them where it was,

which is really going to anger them. So the game's been going on for over a year here at the Plaza, and we have lovers, couples, any kind of lovers come on in. And last night was the funniest. Last night we had these two lovers. All right. Back up. Just saying. Let Angelique was the funniest. Last night we had these two lovers. All right. Back up. Just saying.

Let Angelique explain the game. No, she doesn't know the game, that new game yet, though. Okay, well, he does want to talk about it. Let's let him talk about his night last night. We have to talk about this last night. This was the funniest thing ever. Let me back up because if I'm as confused from that description as the listeners are. Well, you didn't let me finish the whole thing.

A year ago. A year ago this starts. Actually, Valentine's Day. People that show up, just casino guests show up. They come into the showroom. Yes. They compete on a game show like your favorite Hollywood game shows, like Newlywed Game, Dating Game.

Yes. They play trivia games, answer questions. Do they get picked out of the audience? Everyone's randomly picked. Five shows a week, so we do about an hour and 15 minutes every night, five games, and there are three couples for each game. All right. So if you move on in the competition,

if you come out from Des Moines for your honeymoon and then you move to the next round, do you have to like shit can your whole life and stay in fucking downtown? No, no. Our prizes are amazing. Yeah, they're actually- Five prizes.

Yeah. So every night is, there's a winner every night. Every night we're giving away. There's five winners every night. Yeah, every game has a winner and there's usually a travel type prize like a cruise

or something like that. Okay, so for the million dollars the people have to come back? No, they'll be right here. All right. So for the course of one night we'll have four couples, nine couples total, right?

All right. First three games, the winners of each will compete in the fourth game and the winner of that will go on to play for the million dollars. Yes, that's how we do it.

All right. And the million-dollar game is all random, so there are 25 cards. They have to pick five of the cards. If they get a royal flush with the coins, it's a million dollars. I mean, hearts. A million dollars. Anything else? Any other royals, 50,000, and then the rest are scattered, you know,

one pair, two pairs. And while you're trying to pick, I may offer you another prize to give you a chance. I may say, okay, now, you know, you could win it all or you could lose it all. Now, I will offer you this right now to walk away, to have a guaranteed prize, or you can just take your chance on gambling. All right. Is it selling well? It's doing very well right now. We are doing very well now.

Because I really want the plaza. I'm one of those... You love the good old things. Old school guys. That's why I'm here. Yeah. What was the movie? Was it the...

Casino. No, the cooler. Oh, you're talking about the cooler? With Bill Nighy. Yeah, that was about trying to preserve old school downtown Las Vegas. Yeah. With William H. Macy and Alec Baldwin.

I love that. And I want everything to work here. I'm always disappointed when I stay here. Like, everything's fucked up, but I still love it. Like, I try to yell at the front desk, like, this is supposed to be a suite. This is a

fucking room near the pool. It's a room with a sliding door. It was the most expensive room. How much was your room? Expensive for Vegas. You mean expensive for downtown Las Vegas? $159. That is a lot for downtown.

But you're the weekend, right? Yeah. That's what happens on the weekends. But you're a major headliner here this weekend. No, I'm not playing here. I'm playing. I know. The dive bar. Yeah, I? Yeah. Nah, that's what happens on the weekends. But you're a major headliner here this weekend. No, I'm not playing here. I'm playing. I know. The dive bar. Yeah, I'm playing. We'll talk about that later. Yeah. We'll get through this. If we can

get through all of this. So, uh, so after the million dollar winner, you start again? Yeah. Hopefully. Yeah, but as if the winner of the winner of the winner wins. This is called gambling. Gambling don't mean you win.

That's the main prize. That's game five. There's five games a night. So every night someone has a shot at winning a million dollars. But they're going to win every night. Five nights a week. They could win. They could win a million dollars every night. Alright. So come and see the show. You're not catching it? Okay, listen. They could win. They could win a million dollars every night. All right.

So come and see the show. You're not catching it? Okay, listen. One million dollars. You know what that is? Hardcore cash. But how can you win? I was trying to explain to you the game, and you stopped me. I got an idea.

Let's let Bob Cole, our producer, explain exactly how it goes. Go, Bob. Go ahead, Bob. Explain the game, because I know how the game goes. Go ahead. Okay. Go ahead. Okay, the game is played like this.

Okay, you have to pick five cards, like poker. All right. Now, if you get a royal flush with hearts, starting from the ace to the 10, you win $1 million. If you get the clubs, you win $50,000. If you get two pair, you win something else. If you get three or four of a kind, you win something else. If you get two pair, you win something else. If you get one pair or no pair, you win something else.

That's how it played. All right. Okay? So there's no fucking way you're winning a million dollars, is what you're saying? No, that's not true. There is a chance. Somebody may hit that. that's not true. There is a chance. Somebody may hit that.

There is a chance. There is a chance. All right, so there are 25 cards. The people that will be listening to this podcast, no, there's no fucking chance. That's bullshit. There's a winner everywhere. I did win an Atari from McDonald's in the 70s. So I'm living proof and happy.

I won a $500 gift card in a boat night. One of the machines you press and you got to go up that in my life I want a $500 gift card and one of the machines you press and you gotta go open the thing I want a $500 gift card at the best bar damn right for a dollar it's fun no matter what I'm at a place where when I play something like I have enough money now

so when I lived here but you sound like you have bad luck winning I started comedy as a broke ass fucking sleeping on couches guy in las vegas 25 years ago and back then just playing nickel slots if you've got a royal flush that's like 200 on nickel slots loaded, but that was the most money in the world, and I needed the money. Now that I don't need money, I play for... But not everyone's...

I want to just beat the odds. I just want to have fun. I beat the odds already here. Well, you've beaten a lot of fucking odds, Todd. And I beat the odds here at an El Rancho, and that's why I'm not playing anymore. The El Rancho comes up twice in two podcasts, right beside the Riviera. I've taken the El Rancho. And that's why I'm not playing anymore. The El Rancho comes up twice in two podcasts. Damn right.

Right beside the Riviera. I've taken the El Rancho for eight grand. That rancho. And that Asian guy hates me. When I win, he gives me. Was that your biggest win? Well, yeah. It was one night.

And I won't play there anymore. $4,100 is my biggest win on a dollar poker machine. Yeah. No, I played craps. And the way I was playing it, every roll was coming my way. And I won $8,100. And I kept winning.

And the Asian guy kept winning. And then they switched the guy. And I still kept winning. And then they tore the fucking El Rancho down because of you. I kept winning. And then finally I go, okay, goodnight. That new carpet is all taught.

And I tipped and I go, goodnight. And they were like, they gave me the dirtiest look ever. They didn't want me to come back and play again. They were so angry. All right, now we get the plugs out of the way for the Plaza Hotel, which we're trying to get some kind of residency in. And they're, eh, last time you just sold out and filled the place

with fucking drunken loser fucking degenerate gamblers, which is what you want. Wait, that's what we fill it with. And we've been here for a year and a half. Exactly. Let me get to your OCD, if we can talk about it. What do you want to know about it?

Well, we're inside the patio poolside suite, which is a tiny-ass Motel 6 room that happens to adjoin to the pool that closes at 6 o'clock at night on a Saturday. Fucking Motel 6 pool, open till 10. So we were going to go out there and podcast out in one of their fucking $100-a-fucking-hour cabanas, but they won't let us.

Well, you rented a float, a $100 one-hour float, right? Yeah, it's because I kicked the shit out of them at Roulette last night. I won $1,200. Did you, man? Nice. And then when I was looking for a lighter in my sport coat this morning, I found another $100 chip, and I went, oh, that just paid for that dumb fucking poolside fucking match. You actually paid $100 for a floatie?

It's Vegas. Are you serious? Yeah. Well, just because I beat him that bad last time. You're bright, huh? Well, he wanted his hot girlfriend on the floatie. First of all, look at all the people. And this is just the beginning of the people that are coming in.

I have a guest list of 25 people for $100 floaty. For a 175 capacity gig tomorrow. I must be too cheap for that. Yeah. I'm cheap. Doug's a baller. Well,

if you have all these friends and then you have to pick Sit their asses on the side of the pool. You're getting them $100 floaty. We'll all jump on that fucker.

And most, look at all my friends are old and fat like me. They need a mattress. They need a water mattress. Girls with the fucking thongs. How about fucking 50 fat dudes on one floaty?

That would sink the floaty. Floyd's got a colostomy bag. Oh, if that opens in the pool, that's disgusting. Reclaim the pool. I want him to pull up this shirt in front of the hottest chick. I want to see it. I've never seen one.

What's your name? He really has one? Oh, yeah. Let's look at it. On our podcast, he's from the town we live in, in Bisbee. And when he had colon cancer and they were taking out his asshole, the night before, we had a going-away party for his asshole. They didn't take his whole little asshole. You had a going-away party for his asshole? Yeah, because they had to cut out his asshole. They didn't take his colon. You had a going away party for his asshole?

Yeah, because they had to cut out his colon. Maybe we close on this. Floyd, if you show the bag now, no one's seen the bag yet. Yeah, let's wait. Pizza might be coming. Don't make me throw up, Floyd, please. We're getting back to your OCD.

Todd Bridges will not smoke a cigarette indoors. You break the filter off, but you will not touch your cigarette without rubber gloves. I don't want it on my hands. I don't want the smell on my hands. It stinks. But you smoke without a filter. It doesn't matter. But he just holds his cigarette if he doesn't

have rubber gloves he'll just hold the cigarette in his mouth and keep puffing on it which is fucking fantastic but i also i also only smoke if you notice i'll take four or five hits that's it i'm the fastest smoker in the world it's like it's gone it's gone they don't know why i smoke do you save it or you know it's gone. They don't know why I smoked it. Do you save it? No, it's gone. You don't reuse it? No.

It's only half gone. David Tell does that. He smokes American Spirits, which take the longest to burn. They do. They're the worst. And they're the most expensive. Yes.

And he'll take three drags and put it out. And reuse it or no? I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. Well, no, you don't really because you take three drags. People say, I don't know, why do you even smoke? You just take four hits and you put it up.

I'm like, I don't know. It's a habit. I want to have it at least, you know? Couldn't handle the rest of them, so this one works. If I was a decent podcaster, I would have done due diligence on your past. We all know enough about... That was my twin brother. What are you talking about? You're the last stroke standing.

That's right. My strokes are long and deep. I lived here doing telemarketing when Dana Plato robbed the fucking blockbuster. Yeah, I heard. She left her clothes behind and everything. That was fucking crazy. That was nuts.

But you actually, you did time. Me? Yes. Well, I never really officially did time. I did time, but not officially. Well, you worked at a hospital. Okay, doing time means you get a sentence to do time. I've never really been sentenced. a sentence to do time. I've never really been

sentenced. I had to do time while I was waiting my trial. So that's not really doing time. You hid your rubber gloves. I was going to put on a rubber glove to light this. They're in my pocket, Dick. That's why I put them away. I'm on to you. Don't worry. I'm

waiting on you. Don't worry. We're going to start swinging them in a minute. No swinging. No, not swinging. Angelique is going to get the biggest beat in here. Oh, worry. I'm waiting on you. Don't worry. We're going to start swinging them in a minute. No swinging. No, not swinging. Angelique is going to get the biggest beating here. Oh, shit. No, she will not. I'll protect her. Not a physical beating.

Jesus. This whole rape culture has gotten out of control. No. Rape? Did you rape somebody? No, comedy. Oh, oh, okay. I thought I'd make sure.

Rape jokes are never funny. Beating women is never funny. I wasn't going to beat Angelique. Stop with your hate mail. Don't send me that hate mail, please. Let's talk about Dana. So you used to live here in Las Vegas. So you hung out with Dana.

Did you hang out with her? Dana. Dana Plato. Did you get lost that fast? No, no, no. I just remember I was a telemarketer when that came out, and it was just up the street, and she got busted for robbing. And Wayne Newton bailed her out of jail.

All right. I didn't know that part. He didn't bail me out of jail, bastard. You know who his lawyer was? Who? My lawyer? Johnny Cochran. No shit.

Damn right. I was the first one to ever have Johnny Cochran. Is he dead, too? Listen right I was the first one To ever have Johnny Cochran Everybody So you're dead too? Listen I was the first one To ever have Johnny Cochran I paid for OJ's case Snoop Dogg's case

And Michael Jackson's case Alright I paid for everybody's case But he's dead too Yes he is Yeah Everyone Again

That's why Involved in your life Is dead No that's why I will not Get in trouble again Because he's gone. That's why he uses a rubber glove and only

doesn't drink. Rubber glove can be used on two things. You can use it on your cigarettes in case you've run out of condoms. You can use it on a condom. You didn't know that, did you? No, no. See that? There you go. I've already caught every disease I could get.

I just give them back. I pay it for it. That's nasty. That's because you're a big football fan. Big football fan. Don't quite know what that means. That's Tracy. Hi, Tracy.

Hi, guys. You going to eat a cocktail? No. That's Tracy Hi Tracy Hi guys You gonna eat a cocktail? You must know but probably have never met Brendan Walsh Brendan Walsh Sounds familiar

Did you guys do the the fucking stupidest most dumbest videos? Oh He's got the beard He's a comic He was in New York

I heard last night when I go Oh well He'll know Most dumbest videos? Oh, yeah. He's got the beard. He's a comic. He was in New York. I heard last night when I go, oh, well, he'll know. He's coming in to headline the show tomorrow. He was in New York. See, what happened was half were in New York, half were in L.A. No one ever met each other. Yeah, we did. Tanya Harding was on that. No, I saw Tanya Harding all the time.

She was quite not good looking. I fought her. I fought her on the man show. Remember that? Did you really? Oh my gosh. You're right about that. You did? Yeah, she went into professional boxing. Did she beat you up?

Well, we had to throw the game. Where the fuck is Andy? Call Andy. This was his stupid idea when he was a writer on the Man Show. Wait, the Tonya Harding, that was Joe Rogan's idea. Was that your idea to get her on? No, it was Andy's idea. Oh, my gosh.

The show sucked so bad when we did the remix of the Man Show with me and Rogan. It sucked so bad that we filmed a season. They stopped the season midway through. 22 episodes turned into an 11-episode season, quote-unquote. And then they said, we got to come back and reshoot some shit because this is so awful. Everyone hates it so much. So we went back, and Andy had been pitching.

Tonya Harding was trying to start her career as a professional boxer. And Andy's like, she should fight Stanhope. She's an Olympic-trained athlete, and he's in the worst shape ever, so it's an even fight. So they dismissed that idea, like every good idea. Every idea. That's why it tanked the last season. We really had a fucking lot of good ideas.

Well, everyone left. They all left for Kimmel. Well, they shit-canned all of our ideas. I don't know if you've... No, I know because... Are there 11 lost episodes out there? No, no. They brought that back as a second season.

Like the producer Bob is like, where can we get more footage? Yeah. He gets them the footage and says, great, I'll patch it together and make a reality show. Exactly. Oh, it was so bad. But the second season,

which is really a redux of part two of the, they go, all right, we'll take the Tanya Harding thing. And she's a professional boxer and she shows up and she was so scared. And you have to know this. I know Tanya Harding very well. Yeah.

But as vilified as she was for that, like morning radio would bring her on just to set her up and then fuck with her. She allowed it to happen. She showed up so terrified and she said, well, I'm not really going to fight. I can't fight a man.

A woman can never fight a man. That's what we hired you for. And all the writers were like, just fucking knock her out and I was drinking beer oh my god I can't do it this is a

wounded dog in a corner she was so frightened I still have those boxing gloves hanging up in the funhouse where we podcast she would not autograph them because no you're just gonna sell them on ebay and and i got jake lamotta to sign the fucking gloves because he's my neighbor nice do you have that footage we'd love to play it on our podcast

yeah the footage of of you and tanya what's on uh it's not on youtube because they keep taking it down every time yeah people put it up but it's not on YouTube because they keep taking it down every time people put it up, but it's like on Hulu or something. I actually worked with both of them. Nancy Kerrigan too

I worked with. No shit? Yeah, and then Dave Cui says the stupidest thing in the world. We were told, don't bring up the whole thing about the leg thing.

Dave, we're all sitting there having lunch. I'm talking to Nancy Kerrigan because for some reason I was the only person she would sit down and talk to. I don't know why.

So I'd be talking to her and then Dave Cui says, yeah, it's kind of like somebody getting hit in the knee person she would sit down and talk to. I don't know why. So I'd be talking to her, and then Dick Cui says, yeah, it's kind of like someone getting hit in the knee with a crowbar. And she just stopped. She froze. Her face was turned. She goes, I'll be back, Todd. And she left.

And everyone looks at Dave Cui and goes, you asshole. Why would you do that, man? I was so fucking nice to her. We're not going to ever go there. This is the show where we pitched OJ had just been released or whatever

recaptured again? no no no he was just he was exonerated not guilty good behavior not guilty so we pitched

having OJ on the man show at the end of the man show like Andy Rooney in 60 Minutes where we never addressed the entire case that just got resolved and he just at the end of every show he's like Andy Rooney, watch up with ATM

machines. Why did they charge me $2? And we just introduce him as Heisman Trophy winner OJ Simpson and they're like no way, I knew just bitches and we just introduce him as Heisman Trophy winner O.J. Simpson. And they're like, no way. I knew Nicole. But it's still funny.

We had so many great ideas, but she showed up and she was so terrified and the writers are all trying to get me to punch her really hard. So these are the writers that are trying to have you punch her so hard yet weren't proving anything funny or great or I mean, nothing great really moved forward.

Well, first of all, she had her boyfriend at the time was the referee. The first boyfriend. And he's like an eight foot six black guy. Yeah. He looks like, god damn it, the fucking Pulp Fiction. Yes, Ving Rhames. I'm not being mean, though. She looks like she got ran over by a truck. Might have the wrong movie, but I was thinking Ving Rhames.

Is it the part with the ball in his mouth or the part without the ball in his mouth? I don't know. It was Ving Rhames. You know which part that wasn't Pulp Fiction? I don't. It was Ving Rhames. Either way, even if they had talked me into punching her, she vomited in the corner between the first and second round. Are you serious? My wife was her corner girl. My mother was my corner girl.

My mother's giving me cigarettes and beer because i have boxing gloves that is hilarious your mom was here you wouldn't need rubber gloves she just gave me the cigarette but she was like so tired after this fake fighting i had to fake the fight which i fucking hate ever faking anything well during the celebrity boxing we did celebrity boxing we did that with tony Harding was in it, and me, it was me, Tonya Harding. Oh, I said red-headed guy. Or Danny Banducci.

He fought Barry. He fought Barry Williams. I fought Vanilla Ice, and she fought... Vanilla Ice. Who was this? This was celebrity boxing. It was a big thing. I know.

I remember when Horshack fought... No, that was the second one. All right. The first one got 22 million viewers that we did, and it was crazy. And she fought the girl that was with Bill Clinton. Not Lewinsky, but Jennifer Flowers? Was it Jennifer Flowers? All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, Jennifer Flowers had her actually in trouble in the first round. She hit her in the throat, and she couldn't breathe, and I was like, Finish her! Finish her! And she was like, finish her! Finish her! And she was like, what do I do? Hit her in the throat again! I was like, hit her in the throat again! And that would have been it. I just kind of tapped her.

And we have headgear on. I go, are you all right? And she went, no. And between the second and third round, she had to do her asthma inhaler. And that's what happened to her. When she got hit in the throat, she couldn't breathe any longer. And I was like yelling, I was yelling, finisher, finisher.

Is this when Manute Boll fought Fridge? No, that's the second one. That was the one that didn't do any good. The first one did great. Who did you fight? I fought Vanilla Ice. How'd you do it? I destroyed him.

Yeah? Oh, yeah. You fought for real? Yeah, we can do it. Well, Tonya said, no, you have to fake it. No, it wasn't fake. It was not faking in that one. Were you supposed to fake it, and then you went all in?

No. Nobody wanted to lose on national TV. Are you crazy? I wasn't losing to Vanilla Ice. I killed him. I hit him so many times. I felt so bad. Then I got an autograph on the CD for him.

That has to feel good. Of course it does. Such a dish. I said, hey, Then I got an autograph on the CD for him. That has to feel good. Of course it does. Such a dish. I said, hey, Savannah Lyons got beat up by Willis. It was great. And then I did a movie with him.

He didn't talk about it. I did a movie with him. He was like, he never brought it up again. It was just, didn't do it. He brought it up. Brendan Walsh will be here tonight

and anytime now. So you can finally meet Brandon Walsh. You both do the... Yeah. I've never met. I've never seen him. Is that the funniest thing? He's one of the funniest people ever in life.

And he's doing the show tomorrow. You guys are coming to the show? At what time? Yeah. The dive bar. Angelique will tell you. Sunday? I'll hook you up.

Who's on the show, Doug? Who's on your bill tomorrow? Brandon Walsh, James Inman, Andy Andrist. Oh, Andy never showed up. At what time? Talk about Andy behind his back. Well, hasn't Andy, I mean, we've been waiting for Andy for this whole time, right? What's the deal with Andy?

I told him not to be here because he will just jump in the podcast and get off topic right away. Do you smoke that cigarette or just leave it in your finger? Well, I was talking, so. I was just wondering. He's like leaving it there. He's like. It's a comfort thing. Oh, is it?

It's just Mimi Baba. Do you ever not rub your head with an icy rag? Well, when you're in a fucking room at 80 degrees, yes. Let's leave the hallway door open or something. Do you guys know how hot it is in here?

Fucking white people never know. Andy Andrus. I'm getting the Juggie Angelique. It's hot. I get an email from Juggie Angelique. And just the word Juggie. Right. How about that word?

It brings you back to high school. Yes, it does. It's been so long. Oh, my God. You're Juggie Angelique. You're like, woo. And then I talk to you and you're like, oh, the plaza. Oh my God. You're doing a podcast and then I talk to you and you're like,

oh, the plaza. Oh, I thought that was Andy. It's Jaylee. Well, here's what's funny about Doug is that, you know, just a little something about where he's from.

So I send Doug an email and it's 2016. He doesn't email me back or text me back. He gives me a phone call. He goes, are you still a Juggie? Who calls people anymore?

I love it. Well, text? Come on. Yeah, no, it's true. Oh, man. I get the booze shakes. It's hard to fucking control your thumb. I like texting.

It's great. Well, every now and then I Google and I see what's fun and what's going on in Vegas. And then when I saw Doug Stanhope coming, come on, we had to get in on that. Well, we had just finished a podcast when I got that.

Well, let me say, first of all, I called the dive bar, and I said, how do I get in on this? I don't want to be one of those that, oh, Doug, can I have free tickets? You know, remember we worked together 100 years ago, and no place has sold out. It's been sold out. We couldn't even sell tickets.

It's sold out. So what the heck? Who's buying all these tickets? I have this very strange, weird, tenacious fan base. It's like death metal. No one listens to it, but if you do, I used to say I'm like fetish porn. Like the weirdest fetish, but if you're into it, you'll drive a long way to see that girl put a fucking candle pin up her ass. Or an eel.

Yes. We're on eel. Whatever. Yes. We're on the same page. Yes. Need a drink? No, I'm sitting here watching you guys. I got to work tonight. Oh, shit. Oh, maybe we crash that.

We could win a million dollars. Not tonight. 29th. All right. 29th. We said every night, just not tonight. We're still here the 29th. Don't worry.

We'll haunt you. Come on through. You can open it. Let's see what happens. Is that loud? She knows how to do it. I guess I could have got up. You can't have that music on.

Is that too loud? Chaley. Ambience, ambience. Check the music. It's fine. We did this last night. It's fucking closed. That pool is closed, but they still play the shittiest fucking music in the world.

There's people out there walking around. The pool is closed, but they play the music to piss off the neighbors. I was going, hey, I think I saw OJ. They'll run. So the man show. Juggie Angelique and Juggie Vanessa were the two holdovers from the good man show days. Holdovers? Holdovers?

You're the two that stayed. You know, it's so funny you say that because there was nine of us. And the fact that we got chosen was wonderful. But then the other girls go, oh, it's politics. It's something. We have no idea how this works. I think we were the only ones that weren't suing anyone because there was some lawsuits going on back then. Joe Rogan was doing Fear Factor at the time.

So he'd show up like for an hour. He'd do 14 hours of filming Fear Factor. The guy's a fucking monster. He still is. He'd do 14 hours of filming Fear Factor. Come do a couple hours of The Man Show after we'd been just sitting around fucking off all day, and then he'd go and do free spots at the comedy store

and do an hour of material just to do it again. So he wasn't there. He was the strong guy. I remember, I don't know if it was you. Well, because you came in, you wanted to write, you wanted to help out, you wanted to make the show great, so you were there all the time. All right, hang on. Let's take a quick break and reconnoiter.

My new special, Doug Stanhope, No Place Like Home, is premiering on CISO September 15th. There you go. Explain CISO, Brian. Well, CISO is an over-the-top subscription streaming service from NBCUniversal. And where do they get it? Where do they go? You go online.

You go to CISO.com. Spell S-E-S-O dot com. I see you. So. I see you. So. And then it's all about comedy. They're all about comedy.

All comedy. Yeah. All the time. They're all about comedy. All comedy. Yeah. All the time. They're an enormous comedy benefactor. How late are they open? They're open 24 hours, Doug. All week? All week.

Even the day of the Lord? Yep. Three, six, five, two, four, seven. And this is going to be hundreds of dollars a month. Well, you would think with the quality that Cecil have, it would be at least a bajillion dollars. But that's just one of their shows, bajillion dollar properties. They are actually free for two whole months, which frankly could be as long as you need them, to see your special multiple times. Right. So go to Seeso and get my special free, basically. Yeah, all you need to do is sign up using the password,

and it's a crafty one, Stanhope, and you'll get two free months. Right, so get that. Big Jay Oakerson's on that. Harmon Quest, rooftop comedy. There's a bunch of shit on there. Just fuck you, you guys. You listen to the podcast.

Go to CISO, get the fucking special for free, and judge for yourself. No place like home. Get it on CISO. Get CISO now. Now, back to the podcast. Already failing. Andy's right there.

Andy. Andy. Yeah. Where you at, man? What up, Andy? Hey. Welcome Andy. Yeah. Where you at, man? This is my place. What up, Andy? Hey. Welcome back.

Nice to meet you. Andy, welcome back. Welcome back. What's up, bro? Your dreams were your ticket out. It's funny how I never saw you. Welcome back. I didn't know it was there.

Hi. It's great. Bob, I produce for my show. How you doing, Andy? Nice to meet you. That's hilarious. I never saw you, but I knew where you were. Andy, stand over there and share Bob's mic.

So Joe would show up just enough. This is my favorite story is when, I don't know if it was you or Vanessa, you were the original Juggies. OJs. OJs. Oh, my gosh. I remember we had to do juggy auditions, and I'm just sitting there like a stunned kid.

Let's talk about the auditions. Oh, do some jumping jacks. Okay, we'll play some music. That was the auditions? Oh, no, we fucked them. Yeah, because we got to sit in on the auditions, so we did. We messed with them big time,

and we were like, okay, yeah, do some jumping jacks, and so pretend like you keep dropping stuff and just pick it up. I mean, it was so wrong and rude. And, you know, when you're in the industry for so long, you're pissed off and you just want to pay it forward. But I was still stunned. Like, this is so silly. And then as the show went on and we had some really good ideas.

We've already been over Tanya Harding. You got credit. Perfect. That's all I need. And then we just we started just collapsing. But Andy and I, my wife and I broke up during the show. That's how

Kimmel's wife broke up during the show too. But we moved into the writer's room. Our office. And we set it up like a mash tent. Alan Alda and fucking the other guy. Hot lips. The most crucial part was that piss bucket we got.

Because that brought it together. We had a clothesline in the office. We slept. We literally lived in the office. And then Dunce Helberg was the company lawyer. His name was Helberg and he'd come in at 5 o'clock.

So cute. Argyle socks matching Argyle vest. So adorable. You guys can't live here. We don't live here. We just have all this stuff. We're making margaritas once in a blender. We're testing out a prop

for bringing margaritas to the writer's room. And he knows we're lying and we're obviously lying. But yeah, what are you going to show up at fucking 2.30 in the morning to see if we're asleep? And no.

You have a fucking... So we lived in that office. The man show was the funniest thing off... That's when I need to be filmed. Behind the scenes was one of the funniest times of my life. It was a reality show waiting to happen.

That's what should have happened. Pranks, poop. If we needed laundry done, we'd go to wardrobe and just, yeah, we need this. Rodney, clean the clothes. Oh my God. Clean underwear for a skit. I don't know. Maybe three dresses? Not sure.

During the... We'd ask for a hammock. Okay,'t know. Maybe three dresses? Not sure. We'd ask for a hammock. Okay, we're doing this nursing home gag. We're going to need this, this, and shit because props department is there. Everyone's in the, it's not the writer's room, but the, whatever they call it. That room where they made fucking work.

Where everyone's on the same page. Okay, props, you get this. Camera, you get this. And we'd go, we need a hammock. We'd pitch a hammock because we needed a hammock for our writer's room because he was all on the same page. Okay, props, you get this. Camera, you get this. And we'd go, we need a hammock. We'd pitch a hammock because we needed a hammock for our writer's room because he was sleeping on a couch. I had a cot. He had a couch. Oh, yeah, upgrade.

Yeah, we wanted a hammock to make it look like MASH. Why do you need a hammock for a nursing home gag? Just, we need a hammock. We never got a hammock. We're going to stay all day around, don't worry. But the lawyer would come in. You can't live in here. Why would we? That was so funny. I mean, I can't even imagine what that lawyer had to deal with because

even the first season when they said, yeah, yeah, we need to do our wraparounds and we got to do in Mexico or we got to do them in Jamaica or Bahamas. But the fact that they would try and play off saying, yeah, we really need to test this you know we're not sure the beer the first season was generic was uh near beer so it wasn't even real beer and our audience was just wasted and not even drunk and um oh that's that was the worst

because the show shows all the crowd drinking beers but they don't understand. They get loaded in like two, three hours before we start. They get two beers in four hours, basically. And if you're a drinker, you know. That's nothing. Don't start me with a drink and then leave me hanging. Yeah. Yeah, you got to keep drinking. So they're just pissed.

They're pissed that Andy and Adam and Jimmy aren't there. They already hate you. And I'm a drunk, so I'm very considerate of drunks. Just keep giving them beer. Well, half the show left, and it was budget cuts, I think. Oh, it was fucking awful. The cable TV became very

network, and it was just... I mean, I can't believe you got a hammock. I was just there to do some drugs yeah and have someone else pay for it both rogan and i hired a writer uh nepotism so he got eddie bravo his fucking mma wrestling partner guy, we get high and we come up with good ideas. So he got hired as a writer, and I hired Andy as a writer. Neither of the two, Eddie or Andy, could open up a laptop. They'd just be in there fucked up.

One of us could rip a guy's heart out, though. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't you. No, it was the other guy. He was a jiu-jitsu. Yeah, he had a jiu-jitsu champion. Yeah, it was the other guy. Oh, Rogan? He was a jiu-jitsu. Yeah, he had a jiu-jitsu championship. Yeah, the other guy.

My name was Rogan. Hell with Rogan. They cheat on Fear Factory. Well, it's Fear Factory. The pig's asses weren't real? That was, but when they had the celebrity part, they cheat, they cheat. Everything's focused. Everything's fucking cheating.

Yeah, but I thought it was real. Fucking Tonya Harding I had to cheat, and it broke. It really fucking broke me that I had to fake a fight. She didn't want any part of it. She should have been able to kick the shit out of me. What would have happened if she had pulled a crowbar and hit you in the knee? Then all would have been done. Good radio.

Yes, if she would have gone to town. I never got out of her. I kept pushing to get out of her to tell the truth. I kept pushing, and she never. I go, come on. I said, okay. I admit that I did everything I've done. I've done all that bullshit, okay?

Fine. What did you do? Fine. Fine. You got me. Yeah. I admit it to it. I've done a lot of shady shit, okay?

Sorry. Willis has done a lot of shady stuff. I admit that. So I said, come on. Please admit what you did. Just tell the truth. What happened? She goes, I didn't shady stuff. I admit that. So I said, come on, please admit what you just tell the truth. What happened? She goes, I didn't do anything. I go, okay, what happened?

I didn't do anything. That's why they threw you out. You can't teach or do anything else, but you did nothing. I go, you know about it. Stop lying. And she wouldn't admit it. She never would admit it. But she knew about it.

Of course she did. His daughter skates with or used to skate with Tonya Harding. She lives up in Oregon. She had the same coach. I heard stories about Tonya's mother beating her with the skate guards when she'd fuck up. Oh, yeah. She'd come off the ice and her mom would be all, oh, fucking hit her. Her mom was evil.

But you've met Tonya off the show with your kids skating. Yeah, she's a big fucking little dummy. I mean, it's sad that she blew up into this thing because she's fucking no mentality to deal with shit. She's happy now. She's sawing down trees and shit. Yep, she is. That's what she's doing now.

She found her calling. Good for her. She had a baby. And that's funny. Angelique, you had babies. I know. I'm ruining the carbon footprint. Sorry.

But I am a trendsetter. I did have a baby young. Hang on. You keep in touch with how many of the Juggies? All the Juggies. The twins. They just had their 40th birthday. Palm Springs.

Wait, there was twins? Yeah. Twins the second, third, and fourth season. Where were you at? Oh, I guess I wasn't there. Oh. I might have been in my own house. Yeah, twins.

We're blonde twins. You had twins when we knew? No, I didn't have twins. We had twins on the show. Anyway, the Shawnee and Julie Costello twins. All right. Okay. Are we talking about the Juggies or the babies?

I'm talking about all the... You said all the Juggies now have babies. Right. Now, there were... So Vanessa just had a baby. How many are breastfed? How many of those babies are actual...

Okay, this is funny. That's the only way to do it. So I just had a baby when I had... It was like, I don't know, maybe fourth season or so, I had had a baby

and we were trying to hide it. So you did have a baby when I knew you. We could have wrote it into the script. I had two babies when you knew me. Well, we did.

I was in Century City Mall fake breastfeeding and squirting guys as they were shopping. And women and kids. It was a fake breastfeeding milk mechanism. They had good writers back then. Yeah, they are at Jimmy Kimmel right now. But was it real milk? Yeah, no, it wasn't real milk.

Oh. But it was warm and nasty. 2%. I'm sure. It's not bad. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo. Used to.

Was it Lamictal? Was that the drug? What was the drug? It was Risperidol. Risperidol. What's that? She's a mental patient. That's my girlfriend.

And she's on. What the fuck? My girlfriend's mental. No big deal. She's bipolar schizoaffective. That's sexy. You guys like that it's called one of the meds they tried made her lactate where she could squirt milk fuck yeah i remember that and then we were you ruined a windbreaker the windbreaker didn't stop the milk i didn't want it anymore was it christmas eve or new Year's Eve? New Year's Eve in Florida with the

Wieners and there was a pregnant girl there and as drinks get drunk, they had a squirt off her unpregnant on this fucking medication squirting against, oh, she's not pregnant. She had just recently had a baby.

Either way, she was full of milk. Who won? Bingo beat the fucking, yes. Either way, she was full of milk. Who won? You don't have milk. Bingo beat the fucking. Yes. I fucking squirted all over her. Big pharmaceutical can make you squirt and lactate harder than actual pregnancy. And she was so excited.

I beat her. I wanted to win for you. Nice. Oh, that's nice. So there's a blue pill for the boys. And what's the pill again for the girls so we can squirt?

No, no. They're both girls. I know. I was saying the blue boy pill. It takes four hours before you squirt on that. Four hours?

Before you squirt on that blue pill. You take the pill, the blue pill, four hours later, you blah, blah, blah. Well, no, the Viagra is...

Viagra, you see blue too. I tried it once. You need the Viagra. I love how Todd says he tried it one time only. Only one time. You see blue. I didn't see blue. Is it hard the whole time for hours? What good is it? She lasts an hour and 20 minutes. She's sleeping. Then you have three hours

and 40 minutes of being up. It gets hard in four hours? Oh, I thought her pussy blows out. No, it will stay hard for four hours. Wait, wait, wait. Let's say you take the pill at 6 o'clock. I'm calling everybody. Within 25 minutes, it'll get erect.

Okay, so 6.25, you have a boner. Yeah, and it will stay for four hours. So 11 o'clock, you're good. But then when you're with your girl, she lasts. Do you want to split one and get back to this podcast? No, I'm curious. I don't plan on getting any of the nights.

Four hour podcast. You don't have to get it. We're just doing a scientific test. I don't want to sit there. I tried that. It's not always about you, Todd. Let me tell you something.

You know what happens? When you take the, I'll tell you what happened to me. That whole night after she went to sleep, I spent the whole time trying to watch TV doing this. I was walking around,

walking around. I finally stuck it in the refrigerator to try to get it to go down. It wouldn't go down the refrigerator. I had to pee with a hard on. You know how hard that is? Yeah, we've seen that video. I'm stretching way back going, you know.

And then finally, I'm laying there. She's sleeping. I'm pissed at her because she's sleeping. Go outside at that point. And finally, it gets to the fourth hour and it went down. I went, well, thank God. Fourth hour. Yeah.

A whole new meaning for the fourth hour. And then I kept thinking about that Chris Rock movie where they stuck that big needle in there and I was like, they want to call an ambulance if it didn't go down. Power spike.

There's no way. That's what I think. You should power spike your dick with that hole and then put the needle in the dick and that way it's instant. That fucking hurts

the thought of it. I've been thinking it's a theory. I haven't shared it with Big Pharmacy yet. I'm sure they're going to want it. We're always creating. Good thinking.

Yeah. Why don't you give it a try first? Let us know. I got this little sidetrack, because this goes back to your first podcast. We talked about my molestation, but the guy who molested me looks exactly like your dad from TV. So every time I'd see that show- Mr. Drummond?

Yeah, I was sure he was fucking you kids. Wait, who's molesting you? You're a molestation? Yeah, he looks stupid. Oh, yeah. It's confusing. No, Mr. Drummond was the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, that's why I was like, was fucking you kids. Yeah, he looks stupid. It's confusing. Mr. Jim was the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, that's why I was like, God.

For Todd and Angelique and Bob and listeners who haven't heard the first podcast we ever did, Andy found the guy that molested him. What are you doing? Pat Spleen down in Florida. He found out where this guy lives. You didn't beat him up? No, no. He was crippled. I still fucked him up. I did, but not much. He found out where this guy lives. You didn't beat him up? No, no. He was crippled.

I still fucked him up. I did, but not much. I kicked him over in the wheelchair. Todd, Andy's kind of... He's still there. You want to go to Florida? No, I got a guy in my background, too. All right, the timing doesn't matter.

I've been looking for a guy. What did you do? Go ahead. Andy says, I found this guy. He lives in this wherever. Where is it? Port St. Lucie. That's our wink-wink, nudge-nudge lawyer back there.

Well, let's say his name. Who cares? Allegedly. It's all right. We won the court case. Good. He did. Yeah, Pat Spleen.

But he lives in this gated community golf course place. He can't get in. So Andy calls me up. And, you know, fucking Andy. He's like, well, if I can't get into the gated community. Let's get in. So Andy calls me up and, you know, fucking Andy. He's like, well, if I can't get in to the gated community, I found it.

I Google Earth searched it and there's a lake and I'm going to swim across the lake and I'm like, there's fucking alligators in those lakes in South Florida.

They only eat white boys. We're both white boys. I was just worried. Man. I was worried. Gruesome. Gruesome. Too soon.

Yeah, way too soon, dude. He still hasn't been properly digested. I was just worried. Gruesome. Too soon. Way too soon, dude. He still hasn't been properly digested. I'm making jokes. It's terrible. God, I'm not getting involved in that one. I was worried for Andy because he had all these fucking corn pone ideas of how he's going to get to this guy. And he's going to fucking spin things.

Swimming in a boat. Swimming child molester outside the gated community. All right, I've got to go down. So we set this guy up Chris Hansen style. So I called him up, and I go, listen, I have some information about your daughter. I'm a private investigator. It would be best if we get a hotel right outside the gated community. And once you invoke your daughter, the guy has to show up. He showed up. He goes, what is it? I go, I'd rather tell you in person. It's he showed up and we had cameras and we did Chris Hansen style. The guy

was so paranoid. He brought a cop, the cop, after he heard the guy try to backtrack, he's like, oh no, this guy's definitely fucking guilty. This guy really did molest me. At some point, the cop asked me, did I want to press charges? I was like, well, I was molested in Oregon. Wait, I got molested in California, traveled from Oregon, and now he lives in... I don't think so. No.

It's too late. Andy's not 16 anymore. No, but you want to prove a point. You want to make sure. If I ever find the guy who did it to me. Yeah, no, we're going to. He would not survive. Let's look at our schedule.

We're not probably here today. He would not survive. Our lawyer will get us out of anything that happens. Oh, your lawyer won't even know it's me. Well, our wink-wink, nudge-nudge lawyer happened to live there. And so the guy tried to press press what do you call it? That's because you guys showed your face. It was a cease and desist on showing the video.

It was like videotape the whole thing. That was the point of it. He used to videotape me. Before I could get money for school clothes, that's when my mom and dad go, well, you'll get money for school clothes. I'd wait, do this. He molested me along the way.

It wasn't all joy rides. And then the last time, I'd get my bags ready to fucking go because I didn't want to... I wasn't into the court as much as he was. Well, I don't think so. And I'd get my shit lined up and then it would be, oh, the beta camera.

This is how old I am. Sure, I was filmed in beta. Beta? With the wires to it? That big-ass machine? Yeah. Yeah. And he'd make me stand there and flex my muscles

and he'd yank and pull and my money would be sitting there and I just wanted to get my fucking money, but I knew if I didn't put the mushroom up top, I wasn't going to get the money. You know, you learn tricks. Damn, dude. So, yeah.

He owes me a car, Steve, if you're listening. You want that? I want the car. Well, yeah. Or you me a car, Steve, if you're listening. You okay about that? I want the car. Well, yeah. Or you could win a million dollars tomorrow night. The guy who molested me. I'd still want the car.

If I ever saw him, he'd be dead. Hang on. Let's do a throw moments from the train thing. Todd Bridges, the guy that molested me. If I ever saw him, he'd be dead. You got molested? Yeah. I'd stick him in the neck for sure.

Have you tried to track him down like Andy? Yeah. You can't find him? Not yet. Oh, put the killer termites on it. What's his name? I've been looking for him. His name's Robert White.

I've been looking for him. Oh, fuck. That's the worst. Robert White, the name is common. I know. It's too common. Googleable. Googleable.

Too common. Robert White. Everyone's Robert White. One of my buddies saw him And chased him And he got away My buddy was going to Hold him and call me And I was going to come down

And I was just going to Stomp on his face for a while Don't be a three time Fucking loser I ain't going to jail I ain't going to prison I'll get in there And tell exactly

What he did to me And start crying on the stand Don't let me go How old were you? Eleven and twelve You think Friend in the family I'm guessing Yeah you think Someone's going to put Someone in jail and start crying on the stand, don't let me go. How old were you? 11 and 12. Friend in the family, I'm guessing? Yeah, you think someone's going to put someone in jail where a kid's been molested

because the guy who finally grew up beat the molester up? Do you really think they're going to put me in jail? Well, you have a record. No, I do not have a record. It's crystal clear now. All right, fine. I'm up on two Deweys.

Deweys. Deweys. Is there a three-striker? I don't know. Mine's crystal clear. We'll find out. There's nothing left. Everything dropped off. Johnny Cochran had it set up to where everything dropped off.

Publicist. All right, let's talk about your comedy right now. No, no, we love it. Oh, gosh. No. Listen, this is both of our podcasts. No last day. So you promote what you want to promote,

but we like it when our podcast gets dark and talk about real shit. Because the emails that we get are from people who are like, thank God you fucking talked openly about that. Well, if you look it up, if you look up online, by me talking openly about it on Oprah, Sugar Relator said it helped heal him.

He says it openly. It's fucking fantastic. Well, of course, when you talk about something, it's true. Because then you get support and people reach out to you. As you're a kid, you can't stop that kind of stuff when you're a kid. But for my kid, I used to tell a parent, if he's been out of somebody's house, I'd go,

well, listen, if anything happens to my kid, I'm going to find you and I'm going to finish you. So I'd say, make sure he's safe. And they'd be like, is this guy joking? And I was like, no, I'm not joking. But there is a balance where you still have to allow kids to be

free. Because the shit we did as kids... Free how? Well, it's true. I mean, you think about it. How did I survive? You can't assume that your kid, if he goes to the fucking 7-Eleven by himself, is going to get molested. Well, no, but you can't

assume if you let a four-year-old go to 7-Eleven, she's going to get taken. You cannot, you can't today assume that. That's not even, the thing is a chance. You want your kids to experience life like we used to, but you can't do it anymore. The only difference is there's a 24

hour news cycle of telling you every instance. That happened just as much or more when we were kids. No, it did not. 100%. Now we just hear about it. There was no fucking CNN pounding.

I would tend to say that you're right, but I tend to say you're not because when I was five or six years old, me and my friend used to go up in the hills, hunt snakes, catch snakes. We never got touched. No one ever bothered us. But as you get older,

you know, then at 11 and 12, that's when things started to happen because, but no one killed you. Now, when they will ask you,

they end you. That's good. They don't want you to know. I want to ask you this. It's like, you see, you've had some chronicled troubles

and with me, it's like a lot of it I can trace back to that moment in time where I became an unraveled person. Of course. Of course. I think, yeah, it's pretty common. It's very common.

But then you learn to get over it. And the secret to actually getting over it is forgiving the person. That is the secret to getting over it. But it doesn't mean I still won't. So when you stick the knife in him, you'll say. It still doesn't mean I won't stick him in the neck. Yeah. I've forgiven him.

But I might stick him in the neck still. Just say, well, how do you like that one? What my fantasy was with my feller, he had hand braces, and I wanted to beat him to death with one of his hand crutches. So, Todd, mentally you forgive him, but until you see him again. And how about you, Andy, no? Todd. Mentally you forgive him until you see him again?

Or you're still pissed? No, no. Even the score. We beat him in court. Yeah, I feel like he's just a sad old man who owes me a car, but I don't get all knotted up and emotional about it. Did you get a car? No, he owes me a Fiat Spyder.

Did he know this? Did you get it? No. What happened? What's the time limit on that? Hang on. Let me explain. When we talked about this on the podcast,

he talked about, I want my car. Joking is a joke. No, I want my car. In the court case, when he was trying to get us to suppress all this footage we have of him, he tried to use the, Andy says he wants his car

like he's trying to extort the guy. Andy's telling it as a joke. Andy's one of the best stand-up comics, except he can't remember his punchlines a lot. Well, Bob and Todd are comics too, as are you, Doug.

But Andy would talk about this openly on stage and make it so fucking funny. You know, you've been through it. And when someone can make some tragedy that funny, it pokes a hole in all the

people that say rape jokes are never funny. Wait, you know what? I can name you three of the best comics I know that have been through it and make it funny. Wait, you know what? I can name you three of the best comics I know that have been through it and make it funny. Not a one-man show. I'm a survivor. No, they just make it funny.

Sean Rouse, who talks about, yeah, I was molested by my neighbor. I was raised Catholic, but I was molested Baptist. My mother would roll over in her grave. But it's really my fault. Me jumping over that sprinkler in those short, short pants I was asking for. But it's a true story. But all those people that have no personality except for being a victim.

Yeah. And they go, well, don't say that in front of Sharon. She went through that. Well, this is someone that went through it and is making it funny. And as soon as that happens, they fucking hate you because that. Well, you have the power. You hold the power. Yeah, that's why it doesn't bother me anymore.

I don't care. You're a juggy. They say you're a half a stripper. Because I'm a juggy. They say you're half a stripper. Because I'm a juggy. You're half a stripper? But they always say strippers were molested. Were you ever molested or sexually assaulted? No, I wasn't molested or sexually assaulted

because I dress scantily, you say? No, I'm just asking. I'm asking. No. Because it's the ladies. But I have to say with these guys, what they are saying, you know, yeah, sure, forgiveness, blah, blah, blah. You're right. That is true. But I have to say, with these guys, what they are saying, you know, yeah, sure, forgiveness,

blah, blah, blah. You're right. Of course. You have to forgive them. But making fun of it, another step more. So, you know, good for you. Yeah. We're fucking them.

Yeah. Making fun. To say it loud and proud because then you spread the word and, you know, people are going to say, you know what? Let me get this off my chest and get it out there. And that's what, when I did that, it got people off their chest. They realized that you don't have to suffer with it by yourself. Other people have gone through it and you don't have to be ashamed of it.

You're a child. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. The person who did it to you should be ashamed of it. I just wanted some school clothes. That's what Andy said. Hey, I know. That's us both here. We do what we got to do.

It's not victim shaming. It's... Shameship? You there? Predator shaming? Yes. Actually, I stole that from you. It's in a new bit.

Damn it. Anyway. I mean, I do dress scantily sexy, but, you know, I'm doing it during the daytime. I don't know what happened when I checked out of the room. Are you? Yeah. You always look nice no matter what you wear. I'm chilling now, but, you know.

Show your belly. No matter what she wears on, she looks nice. No, I want to see your belly. Show us where babies would have fed. My belly never mattered. That's the great thing about being a dude. I'm all fat and gross. Ew.

Oh, yeah, the innie. It's so cute. No, I had to get this innie fixed. That was outie forever. Umbilical hernia? I had the same thing, dude. Did you get it fixed? Yeah, it's horrible.

How did they fix yours? You get the big scar? Do you have the mesh? Because there's a lawsuit for that. I got the big... The mesh. I got the mesh. Oh, I...

There's a big lawsuit with the mesh. Should I... Should I... I have the face... I got like a strong ear. Should I show it? Should I... Over only audio.

How grossed out are you? I'm drunk. On the way here, I had to stop by my surgeon that did this six years ago. Okay, let's see it. Wait, are you showing the belly button or something else? No, the belly button got fixed.

That was an outie. Ew. But this is the new inguinal hernia. I've got to take a picture. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You have a ball there. Here we go.

Now we got something. Go ahead. Go ahead. Touch it. His is way better. Squeeze it in. Squeeze it in. I feel it. You have some scar tissue. Is it. His is way better. Squeeze it in. Squeeze it in. I feel it.

He has some scar tissue. No, this is the next surgery next week. All right, fine. We're going in. We're going in. His is way cooler, Doug. Wow. Yeah.

Because I don't have a fucking jacket on. No. He's got a fucking jacket on his stomach. Oh, sorry. He's got a jacket on his stomach. We have a colostomy bag here. You guys want to see it? Oh, no, no, not yet, not yet, not yet.

Here comes a colostomy bag. Not yet, not yet. Oh, he's got it in a fanny pack. This is my belly button over here. They did a great job with that. I thought that was going to be way grosser. You fought cancer to a draw. He's got a fanny pack.

Well, we've never... No, he lives across the street. You've never seen it? No, we don't. That's not neighborly at all. Good night. You can drive long distances and not worry about going to the restroom? Talk into the mic.

Into the mic. You can drive long distances and not worry about going to the restroom? Oh, my God. That's awesome's awesome no that is kind of see i was trying to think like think of a way that we can make something where you can drive long distance and like you know when you're driving and you have that look in your face and you look over the car and you're like you're gonna be one of the other you don't know when you're gonna fart when you have one of these things you have no idea the only thing you have to worry about is the bag busting. You know, you have a bag break and it gets ugly. Why are you so close to me?

It gets ugly. My hernia, I can tell 20 seconds before a fart because that grrr. And I squeeze on it and I go, oh, I'm going to fart in a little bit. I can't do that. and I squeeze on it and I go, oh, I'm going to fart in a little bit. I can't do that. It's charcoal filtered and it doesn't stink because I got a little bag with a charcoal filter in it.

And I just... Hey, everybody, just don't worry. It's charcoal filtered. At 63 years old, these are Floyd's best pickup lines. It's charcoal filtered. The fact that it's charcoal filtered, I mean, you're so current, hip, and trendy. I love it. You're so Whole Foods. Yeah, it picks's charcoal filtered, I mean, you're so current, hip, and trendy. I love it.

You're so Whole Foods. Yeah, it picks up the wrong kind of people, though. All right. You're a fetish freak. Get out. Get out. This is great. We're at an hour and 14.

Juggie Angelique. Oh, the glasses come on. Oh, wait. You're going to read my crap. I looked up your business. I have a lot. In fact, thanks for saying that because. It's something shred and shave or what is it?

I don't know. I have a lot of businesses. But the one, what's the one? Okay, here's the thing. What is it? I do have a lot. Shred and sparkle. All right, I got one out of two.

Andy, all right, we're going right. I got one out of two. Andy. All right. We're going to. Okay. So Shred and Sparkle. Yes, that's a fitness show. And we're doing something. Oh, it's a show.

I thought it was a business. Well, it's not a business. We want it to be a show because, you know, coming from LA, everything should be a show. Well, you know what? We could do it. We could get a dragon's den. What do they call it? Shark tank right here.

And you can pitch. Okay. so let me tell the viewers, shredandsparkle.com, go and like Facebook, blah, blah, blah. However, and then I do Destination Angels. What does it do? I want to move on. It's good. It's good. Shred and Sparkle is good, and we are doing workouts, videos, tips, etc.

Nice. Destination Angels, travel. What is Destination Angels? I love the Brooke Burke when she did Wild On, and I wantedination Angels, travel. What is Destination Angels? I loved the Brooke Burke when she did Wild On and I wanted that job so bad. But I had all these effing kids. So then I decided... All of these? How many? Two.

So anyway, then... You know what? If I should have not asked how many, I should have let everyone fist you and guess. And then maybe you could win a million dollars here at the Plaza. If they fist me, I should have let everyone fist you and guess. Maybe you could win a million dollars here at the Plaza. If they fist me, I should win a million dollars. You should just get it.

Let's talk about something most importantly because I have to promote it. When are you going to make this live so I can get some likes? This will be out... We're going to be drunk until Tuesday then we have to get all the way home. Thursday. Thursday.

Friday. The 9th. We're going to be drunk till Tuesday. Then we have to get all the way home. So that's the... Thursday. Seventh. Thursday. Seventh? What? Friday. Friday. Oh, no, the eighth. Okay, ninth? The ninth.

Is it too late? That's okay. Eighth, I got to go come in. No, so my friend and I are doing this... Chaley can do anything you want. Talk to him after the show. Here's what we need. 25,000 likes, followers, friends, for the Homecoming Queens.

So the Homecoming Queens. So the Homecoming Queens. Oh. Yeah. Because I live in Las Vegas now. Can you explain? I have to pitch stuff. I'm sorry. I get thrown

because once I mentioned fisting, Todd Bridges put on a rubber glove. Well, he's almost first in line for me. Better believe it. Love you, Todd. Love you too, Annie. All right. So the Homecoming Queens because we are doing a show, and we just pitched it, and they love

everything about our concept. It's, thanks for the drinks. It's dinged. It's, ooh, I'm not going to give away the name. It's Yard Crashers meets Punk'd. And yeah, we have a lot of, we have a production company that is working with us and we have some networks that are interested, but they think it's great.

We just need followers. So if you could follow the Homecoming Queens on Facebook and Instagram, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Let me again pitch. It's the Toddcast. How do they find the Toddcast? The Vegas Toddcast. Vegas Toddcast. You got five in the Toddcast? The Vegas Toddcast.

Vegas Toddcast. You got five in the bank. Let's talk to... Have you put them out yet? Yeah, Bob. Bob. No, we got a couple in the bank already. We're going to put them out when we get enough.

All right. But is there a website to go to? Because it's... Well, soon... You, Bob, and Anjali. It's going to get bigger because I also just sold my TV show. Now I'm waiting for contracts. All right. But the website, Bob, and Anjali. It's going to get bigger because I also just sold my TV show. Now I'm waiting for contracts. All right.

But the website, Bob, I'll talk to you. It's going to be VegasTodcast.com. All right, good. But right now there's nothing there except a big picture of him. So basically you're going to blast your Swapcast, and then we'll blast our Swapcast later. However, for the meanwhile, you can going to blast your swap cast, and then we'll blast our swap cast later. However, for the meanwhile, you can promote my stuff. All right.

Well, we just did. I'm going to go to a story, and I don't know if it was you or Vanessa. I've been a drunk for a lot of years, Angela. Well, if it's good, I'm going to claim it. And if it's not, Vanessa totally did it. It was when, I love this story, because when we first started

the man show, it was you or Vanessa came up to me all giddy, titty dancer-like. Both of us already, so far. And I say that in a negative way.

I'm feeling the pain. Let me reenact it. You reenact it as a person. Don't worry. No, go ahead. Oh, you're done already? Yeah, I told you. Three puffs.

Three puffs. You said, where are we going for the wrap-up shows? Because Jimmy and Adam would always bring us to Barbados or fucking Bermuda or some fucking location. That would be me. I like stuff. Yes. I'm sorry about that. But you know what? Hey, if you're asking for, you know, amazing

other great concept shows, then why can't I ask for a great trip? Again, I just show up. I didn't even want to do the fucking show. You don't show up. You're living there. But this is when we first got there. You came out of your mash tent. And I just met you.

Oh, yeah. Or it was you or Vanessa. Well, I thought you had the power. It was me. Well, I had no power at all, or that show wouldn't have sucked. You're right. I didn't have Joe Rogan's fucking alpha male, fuck you, we're doing it this way. Yeah.

It's that story. Whatever. Yeah. I thought this is a good idea. But one of the two of you, probably you. Why do you say that? Where are we going for the wrap-up show? At the end of a season of a show as shitty as the man show,

they do a clip show of the best of. Right, our wrap. It's the easiest show you do. You just go to some place and go hey remember this episode two jokes and then you cut to best of and they always bring us here and there and we're going I don't know

and Joe Rogan jumps in and goes fuck you we're taking you to a dump in Union New Jersey that's why Vanessa hated him and they hated each other. And I go, Vanessa, because she's my best friend,

Vanessa. Well, Joe Rogan didn't let this go. That was before we ever pitched. Me and Joe Rogan got into it once. Well, he's going to be on our podcast, so we'll talk about him later. Let me finish this. He would call all the juggies professional hot chicks.

They're just professional hot chicks. Nice. If you've been worked at a titty bar as a young man. That's a great angle because you have nothing to live up to, so nothing wrong with that. So at the end of that fake half season, it comes to the wrap-up show. We still got paid.

It's fine. Yeah. Joe's like, no, we're doing this at a dump in Union, New Jersey. He did not forget. An elephant does not forget. And then we get into a beef

with the fucking producer. So we settled on Catalina Island. Yeah, that was the worst. At the dump on Catalina Island. Oh, no. We got no hazard pay. It was like being on love. That had to be disgusting.

High heels walking through fucking broken needles and dirty diapers. Angry juggies and seagulls. You would think we were in Ibiza with that. Shitting. Scenery. Fucking. We just, we did laugh a lot. It was good times.

Good times. He doesn't catch anything. Vanessa, yeah, you know what? We both went up. I did all the talking. Wait, the Vanessa that I know? Nope. Okay, good.

So we did all the, she was my original on thedestinationangels.com. Anyway. Go plug, plug away. There I did it again. We both went up and we demanded this trip and thought we owed it to us because we were such a valuable part of the show. Anyway. It was a nice boat ride.

I remember seeing dolphins. And then I remember the look on Rogan's face. Like, I mean, I can't even, you know, voice it. Rogan has calmed down a lot. Yes, he has. I mean, I've never not loved Rogan, but he used to be very, very angry. So I said, Vanessa, I'm going to go on Doug Stanhope for his podcast.

He's doing our podcast as well. And she's like, Doug? Oh, my gosh. Like Joe Rogan, Doug? I go, no, no, no. Doug Stanhope, period. Next paragraph. Down the line.

Maybe next page. Then Joe Rogan. But yeah, no, she remembers the like yesterday. They hated each other. Like, the evil like. Well, I just assumed I was on the hatred side. So when you emailed me. You're a delicate and lovable.

Well, I always have to have Rogan's back. There's nothing wrong with Rogan. He did a good job. You got to come in and own it. He did a good job. Yes. I can't remember any of the other names except for Juggie Cathy. I just remember the last season is Fuzzy.

Your Rogan story, if you want to close out on this. My Rogan story? Is it good? Well, Fear Factor. And when we were doing Fear Factor, you know, they made the rules at the beginning of the game. What did they do? Like Celebrity Fear Factor? And then, they made the rules at the beginning of the game. What did they do, like celebrity Fear Factor?

And then they changed the rules as it went along. So they had the rules, and they told us all the rules. These are the rules. And then as it went on, they kept changing the rules. And we're like, wait a minute, you said that it was supposed to be this. And then I was like, oh, wow. I thought this was real. I go, this is fake bullshit.

And Joe Rogan said some crazy things to me. I said, dude, you must don't know me. I said, you think I'm afraid of you? I go, I will stick you in the neck with something, dude. Better leave me alone. And I walked away. I said, good night. Just like that.

He just looked at me. I was not happy. Joe Rogan is capable of some severe violence, but I remember on the man show, that was in his angriest days. He's like, I'll choke that motherfucker out. I'll choke that guy. He was always about, I'll choke the fucking guy out. They say this bit

isn't funny, I'll fucking choke him out. He's always about... At one point, at a writer's meeting late at night when he shows up after Fear Factory, I go, Joe, when's the last time that you were in a fight? He goes, what do you mean?

Like, street fight? Yeah. I go, yeah. He spars and he did jujitsu shit. He was a world champion or American champion before he did comedy of whatever, taekwondo.

He goes, you want a street fight? No, never. No, fucking people are crazy. They just break a bottle and cut your neck. Alright. Oh, shit. That's the podcast. I just spilled my drink on my lap. I believe that is

a podcast. Bob, do the plugs. Do the plug, Bob. My Lovers Are Losers at the Plaza Hotel, Mondays through Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 930. Giving away a million dollars starting Monday. And it's going to be Angelique, Juggie Angelique, who's also a star of Destination Angels. No, we're talking about the Homecoming Queens. Every plug.

Homecoming Queens. Just throw plugs and Shred and Sparkle. Find them online. Well, my family show actually has sold. We're in a negotiated contract and it's funny. It went down the line. It went from one production company to a bigger production company to a bigger production company who's going to do it now. Wait, hang on.

He's got a reality show called Building Bridges. Building Bridges by my family, yeah. So it's BBC? No, it's not BBC. He's got a reality show called Building Bridges. Building Bridges, about my family, yeah. So it's BBC? No, it's not BBC. It's Bebe Your Ass. You're a mumbler. I thought you said British. Bridges.

Bridges, okay. Oh, man. Do I got to stick you in your neck with this freaking straw? All right, I'll just say I'm drunk. Okay. Building Bridges, about our family. Okay, but it's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

Right now, it's contract. Sell it to CISO. CISO is the up-and-coming streaming site. I need to talk to CISO before I leave. Sell it to CISO. CISO is going to also have Doug's new special. Oh, jeez. Is that why you were saying that?

Is that why you were saying that? Let's get, yeah. Is that why you were saying that? Let's get bought. You were underhanding plugging it. Oh, CISO's a great channel. I've got it on Roku. It's a great channel. I look forward to seeing your special on there. And you also have a show on Comedy Dynamics.

Is that right? Well, that's New Wave Comedy Dynamics. I've been working with Comedy Dynamics. So has Todd. Todd's working with Comedy Dynamics on another show. All right. See Todd Bridges and I doing our next co-headlining tour. Wait a minute.

Bob's a comedian as well. That's right. Retired. No, not retired. Too late to get into it. We're closing up. We're wrapping up. But I have more questions.

We didn't even talk about Johnny Depp. Are you sure you want to wrap up? Oh, no. We don't talk about that. Yeah. We don't talk about that. Ooh. Why not? We don't talk about that. Yeah. We don't talk about that. Ooh, why not? We don't talk about that.

I just want to say one thing. Until the fucking lawsuit is done, oh, but then it's ten golden minutes on the clock. It's on like Donkey Kong. I'm sure it is. I just wanted to ask you, you do a great bit on Drew Pinsky, and did you see that he's now been tossed off the air? Again, we'll talk about it off the air because we just did the great wrap-up. All right.

And then, yeah, we'll bullshit all night. That's a podcasting expert right there. Yeah, no, let's go out on the patio so he can put on a rubber glove and smoke and we can have fun with this. Rubber gloves for everybody. Rubber gloves for everyone. Animus for everybody. For all my friends.

Women. Vegas. I'm a good doctor Toddcast Doug Sano podcast Thank you I hope the rest of the weekend goes as well Hit that air on here

Look at this I think I lost 20 pounds Play the mat toy. Part time. Part time. Part time. Part time. Party time. Drink your drinks and eat your eats.

It's party time. Laugh your laughs and eat your eats. It's party time. Smile your smiles and do your blues. It's party time. Smile your smiles and glue your blues. It's party time. Dance your dance and shoe your shoes. It's party time. Howl your howls and suck your socks.

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Yeah! Party time.