The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #179: Night Shift Rehab Podcast with Doug & Jobi

Episode Date: December 3, 2016

Doug and Jobi take the night shift watching Bingo in rehab.Doug's new special, "NO PLACE LIKE HOME", now available on CD at Amazon.com, iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and SIGNED copies at DougStanhope.com.Recorded Nov. 25, 2016 at Bingo's Rehab in Tucson, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Jobi (@StanhopesCDP), Bingo (@BingoBingaman), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.LINKS: Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/   LINKS   Check out the Ep. #7 - The Pillow Talk Podcast with Bingo's sister Kelly - http://stanhope.libsyn.com/the-doug-stanhope-podcast-pillow-talk-with-bingo-s-sister-kelly   Closing song, "Nothing", requested by Bingo Not available on iTunes.   Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.com    Order Doug's audio book, "Digging Up Mother", HERE.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey, this bingo update is brought to you by the Doug Stanhope eBay Yard Sale. We actually planned this eBay Yard Sale back in the summer. In June we were going to do it, and then we were too busy and had too much shit going on with the book and the special and a tour. Well, we said we'll save it for Christmas, not knowing that bingo would have fractured her egg and all the king's horsemen and all the king's men would have had to come down here to Tucson for a fucking month in a hospital, taking turns

wondering if her egg will ever get back into scrambled as it were. So, uh, here's the eBay yard sale. This is not a fucking charity event. This is just us selling shit. We dehoarded suits, memorabilia. Bingo is even selling some shit.

She's got a saxophone. Suits I've worn on stage, on TV. Shit I retired. And we're selling it to you. Yeah, a bunch of shit. The Doug Stanhope and Bingo eBay yard sale starts December 5th and it ends

I don't know, until it ends. I don't know, fucking just go to eBay starting Monday, December 5th and search Stanhope yard sale and you'll find we'll have new things going up every 10 to 15 minutes on the 5th until we're out of shit that we have stored over at Vavum's.

It's a bunch of shit that I'll regret selling one day, and I'll try to find who did we sell that thing to. I love that thing. So, yeah, get that thing. It'll be done in time to get it to you for Christmas. I don't know where I'm going with this. This is the worst plug ever. It's eBay yard sale, and here's the Bingo Update podcast that forced our hand,

so we had to do it live from a quiet Gnip-Gnop-Garum in a brain rehabilitation facility. And this is what we said with Joby and Chaley in a dank corner of a beige hospital. This is the Central Scrutinizer. All right. This is kind of like the old Pillow Talk podcast. What was that, episode three, episode two, episode five? The Pillow Talk podcast was one of my favorites. We were new to the game. All we knew is we didn't have the equipment that we have,

and we were in the most thin-walled hotel in Billings, Montana, Motel, all we knew is we didn't have the equipment that we have, and we were in the most thin-walled hotel in Billings, Montana. Motel, I should say. Always better than a hotel if you're prepared for it. I don't know. I know it was... Dude Rancher. The Dude Ranch Inn? Oh, wait. Dude Rancher, right? Could be. I know it was on Hotel Impossible, The Dude Rancher. The Dude Ranch Inn? Oh, wait. The Dude Rancher, right? Called the Dude Rancher?

Could be. I know it was on Hotel Impossible, even though it's a motel. It's a motor inn of sorts. Anyway, so here we are. We're at the Health South is the name of the rehab facility. Not rehab like my listeners go to to but this is brain trauma rehabilitation where bingo is currently sleeping it is 1105 at night not that it matters because in a 60 bed brain rehab facility which they told me their occupancy is at an all-time low. They hit record lows.

So not only is it quiet because everyone's fractured in the fucking head. But there's only three people here. Probably. I know one of them, our neighbor Judy, said that she liked the music. But she hates the peeping Tom effect that we have every night when we go out for cigarettes oh i thought we had a peeping tom because she's right next door to us and you have to get buzzed in when you go out at night to smoke and joey and i do that frequently and then you have to hit the intercom and bother the nurse's station to get let back in. But they don't answer. They're not at the station.

So Tracy's inside watching bingo, and we tap on the window. All right, let's do the quick update. Remember, we're supposed to do the quick update. And this whole thing is going to be quick because we're in a cafeteria now that's open to the family. The cafeteria, they make the meals, but they're technically open for us, visitors, family, from noon to 1. They're open for an hour.

And today I went at 5 to 1 because I saw what looked like good vegetable or minestrone soup, and I oh shit it's five to one and i came in and i the guys i can see him from behind the sneeze guard in the kitchen saying uh i pouring the soup into a put away bucket and i go is it too late to get some of that and he looks up at whatever clock he's looking at and he goes yeah it's five to one and he looks at me like i'm a dick like i just shut down his one in the afternoon one hour fucking shift last call and i'm being the dick oh is there cafeteria time like bar time that goes 10 minutes before instead of 10 minutes late. All right, here's the update.

We'll make this quick. Last time we talked, we had just got that Airbnb with Chad. When I yelled at you, you took it way too butthurt-y. I was probably a dick, but I didn't mean to be. Sorry, we only have two mics for three of us. I was trying to get out of there. Oh, that's why we were trying to get out of there. Maybe you were right.

You should have kept us staying there. Last time we finished the podcast and I said, we got to hurry this up. It's gone on too long. We need to get over to Bingo for whatever reason. We're a bit liquored up. And I knew what I was going to do. Bingo had just been here a couple days here at Health South. We had just moved from the ICU to what we call the rehab facility, which is here we are.

And we also moved on Thanksgiving from one Airbnb across town, 28 minutes away, to the one we're at now. So that was the last podcast. We shut that podcast down, came over. It was Chad Shank, myself, Chad Shank's gal pal Jenny, his better half, his wife of a million years. I think there's someone else. I don't know.

We stole bingo. It was the day after Thanksgiving. We still had pumpkin pie. We thought she's not doing anything at night over here. She's rehabbing. And we know how many people are not roaming the halls.

Right. And her room is the closest one to the front door. There's no one that ever works the front desk. There's no... So we came over, walked in, said, Bingo is going

with us. Just walked out the front door, piled in her... She had already had her Seroquil, which, if you've never done Seroquil as a downer, makes Xanax look like a melatonin. Is it really that beautiful?

Bingo had it when we were first together. She's kind of fresh out of a mental institution, and she had it. And I took one once, and I slept for about 24 to 26 hours. So you're saying I should start stealing it from her? Well, she's getting it. Well, actually, she is getting it in pill form, but you don't know. She takes all of her pills with pudding now. Oh, I like pudding.

You don't know what the other seven meds are, though. That's true. You might grow a cunt on the back of your neck. So here we just, and she didn't have to carry her she's mobile now she just doesn't know where she is necessarily but she can walk get in the car she doesn't remember from hour to hour what's going on short term if you're a friend of hers she will remember you if you walk into the room now but she doesn't know exactly what's gone on. In fact, I brought up a story that happened just before her accident,

and she remembered it. She goes, oh, I know the Australian guy. And I said, yeah, he's turned out to be a fucking annoyance. He should have never tried to help. But she remembered. But she remembered. When she remembers something that close to the accident, it's really uplifting.

So we get her out into the car. We put a note on the door at the facility that we're new to that says, back in an hour. Evidently you can't do that kind of stuff. Because, I don't know what you would say, is she disabled? According to the facility, that's a huge problem.

To take her out without notifying anyone. A back in an hour sticker. And it was great, because when we walked in we kind of knew we were going to steal her for pie bring her over to the airbnb it's a mile away and uh we knew that we were in a boat whoever was watching her i don't even remember at this point someone was with her because she has to be on their 24-hour watch. Anyway, we just overrode there. I go, she's coming with us. And I go, we need a pen and a piece of paper and a piece of tape.

And I look as I'm setting it down. And my notepad is sitting with a Sharpie on top of it. And one of Chaley's green pieces of duct tape. That gaff tape we use on the road. Yeah, but they're everywhere. There's one piece sitting right there. Really? Yeah, you'd stuck something else with.

I'm like, ooh. Yeah, this is, it's karma. I mean, not karma, it's fate. It's destiny. Bring Bingo over under a heavy dose of Syracul to have pie, which she ate. Didn't know where she was. Oh, she ate a lot.

Yeah, she ate quite a bit of pie. And then Mac, like that homemade, whatever we could save from Thanksgiving, from other people's Thanksgiving, we had in the fridge. And yeah, she had just about mouthfuls of everything.

But at some point, the phone starts ringing in the master bedroom down the hall of the Airbnb, which is mom and dad. And I go, whose phone is that? Is that in someone's backpack? Oh, no, it's down the hall.

And then Kelly, the sister, runs out and says, oh, that's the hospital. We're at the other end of the house, right by the door that goes to the car. They're calling. You've got to get her out of here. So we grab Bingo. In it was chad shank did lift her up i believe he picked her up like a baby and carried her out and we're running to the car like weekend at bernie's like we're teenagers who just get busted at a kegger oh jimmy's parents are out of town man we're gonna have a kegger but jimmy's parents

come home early and now so now we're racing bingo out of there before the parents can finish the phone call and come yell at us for stealing her out for some pumpkin pie get out of there just in time think we're free and clear get back here to the facility and and she's on duty right now nurse ratchet she's about the only name i haven't memorized here and she was there going what the whole like three of the staff which is three quarters of the night shift staff are outside waiting what you can't do this we were about to call the cops and uh i just spun into some bullshit story about but what i don't understand where you can't take a person out of this facility in her condition it's a risk she could and she went through all the possibilities i go well no but anyway i i know i nailed it on uh but you're the one that said

that we can go outside meaning go out front and walk around look at the trees yeah look at the medical complex if you've ever been to a facility or a doctor in a medical complex, they're all the same across the country. It's a bunch of sterile buildings next to nothing fun. I bet it's probably like you can't have a titty bar near a church. You can't have anything remotely interesting near a medical park. There's no fear of a Ferris wheel going up anywhere near here. So the woman who works here, all the staff shifts, there's not really full-time people here,

there's different internee, whatever it is. That's not the person that said it was okay if we go out front. But if I did say that in passing, she wouldn't remember that she said that, but she would have said, yes, it's okay. But as soon as all my bullshit, and she's trying to yell at me, when I said, but actually you're the one who told me then, because she's saying, oh, it's insurance. Liability. Yeah, liability. it's insurance. Liability.

Yeah, liability. That's what I was looking for. And when I said, but it's you that said that, she went, oh, I would have said that in her head. You can see her think it back. She was about to move bingo deep into the recesses by the nurse's station. We were going to give up our good spot. I still swear my bullshit was at my strongest that night. I was blaming it on cousins who don't really exist,

that just get into town. They hadn't seen her since she was in a coma, so when they see her, she's up and around and making sentences. When I said that she's doing good now, they must have taken it too far. But they told you, oh, they didn't tell you they were taking her over for Thanksgiving pie? Oh, wow. I see.

They left a note on the door like I wasn't the guy that sent it. You have the blue tablet and the pen in your hand? Oh. Anyway, it went from we were about to call the cops to okay you get your place back and everything's good then mom shows up yeah pissed i've never seen mom pissed and i was outside smoking so i met her halfway through the parking lot and she was going to do a beeline around me and not even talk to me. She was that mad at me. And I went, well, Ma, no, seriously, you've got to listen.

I just bullshitted our way out of this, so don't go in there and ruin it. We're good. And I try to spin through the quick beats of the bullshit. Don't say anything. We're good now. And then finally she got over it, and she goes, Well, you're going to have to face Ron when you come home in the morning. Ron's the dad.

We thought we were going to get a good night's sleep for once. You had to do this. We took her out for pie. What's that wrong? It sounds so innocent when you do say it like that. Yeah. Like, what's wrong with pie? Like, the pie is the issue?

Now, if it was cake, it would be okay, but pie? She said, you're going to have to deal with Ron. And this is the new, it's called the Ron rule. I said, all right, Mom. Ron can be mad at me about this, but if he's going to be mad at me, he has to be mad at me forever. This can't be one of those things that you look back a year from now and laugh. You either have to laugh now or be mad forever.

You can't turn on me later and go, It is actually funny to steal a girl for pie to drive a mile from a fucking worthless, beige, dank, ugly, boring motherfucking institution. We're actually taping this Pillow Talk podcast number two from the only fun room off the cafeteria where they have games with dust on them. There's some puzzles no one can use, and there's a game of balderdash. Light on the dash? Or balder? Up with words. No one ever touches.

There's nothing fun here. There's nothing. I guess we should get back to how Bingo's doing. In the time she's been here her brain has gone from everyone i asked to leave messages thanks i haven't had to play them as she gets more focused again her memory is shit oh we should bring this up as an example five days ago i thought all right she's with it enough the first time she got a legit day pass after the time we stole her came over to the airbnb and a bunch of friends were there

and she just lit up she was telling jokes she was goofing on her trach you know yeah we did lasagna that night yeah yeah parents did lasagna and And she had, at that point, the trach was the kind you have to put your finger over the blowhole to talk. And she's like, yeah, I get to eat lasagna with this fucking thing in my throat. She was like as lucid as you've ever seen her. Center stage, so she's loving it. A gurgling, straight-up bingo. Then straight into depressed. Because, and the staff has been nothing but great, except for Nurse Ratched.

Just sullen and withdrawn as Joe's Garage. Sorry, we just listened to Joe's Garage. Frank Zappa. Sitting here in this ugly fucking room. It's just beige and dead. There's no fun. And now that bingo, in eight days, she's gone to alert, aware.

She can have these moments of clarity, but she also has confusion because her memory is completely fucked and you can see her trying to put everything together in her head and in the meantime when she does have these moments of clarity after her therapy occupational physical speech therapy then she has 22 hours more to kill in this ugly beige 60 bed facility of no fun there's nothing ever 24 hours a day there's no rec room there's this one weird room we figured out we can talk in the middle of the night without disturbing people that has an old game of tribute trivial pursuit and rummy cube yeah but we've been there you and i have been here for the last i've missed like maybe four hours in the last 36 38 hours

but we've been here like non-stop and she's not having fun with even that and when new people come in it's a challenge to get her spirits up. And then after a while, she's like, okay. And then we leave her a little bit. And I give her time to adjust to new people. She did have some

good times. We're not musicians, or I'm not. I think you even play, Joby. I don't know that you have. I don't like to, but'm i can but she had robin and her saxophone player that produced her whole album and so she's had some jam sessions where she lights up a little bit in the place but only then only outside of this place has she come alive in here here, she's the blue-haired girl wearing the Dealey Bopper antenna with fuzzy bulbs on the top around the place, and everyone else is 80 years old with giant neck braces

and dementia. And when I say 60 beds, they told me yesterday they're at an all-time low for capacity occupancy so it's it's not just the people here are almost dead it's dead for business too so it's there's nothing they don't have enough they don't have a shuffleboard place arcade bowling. There's nothing except some weird room I didn't even find until today that does have a stack of puzzles. That are incomplete, you know, Yahtzee games with four dice. Yeah, okay. Yeah, not that.

And she does this with no, I'm not insulting the therapists, but they work with regular people. So when she does this, like, memory recall, all these things that they have to ask her, what day is it? Okay, now, do you know your name? Yeah, she knows. And then she starts rolling her eyes because she's beyond that. Her problems are specific. Do you know what month it is if you asked bingo what day of the week it is or what month it is before this happened

she couldn't tell you unless it was her birthday or a specific thing that was of importance to her and no one else yes exactly so and you try to explain and you don't want to say in front of her, hey, she's that dumb anyway. Now that she's confused, she has no memory. So if you said something like that, it could horrify her

into thinking she was at one point bright. At one point... It's not even about... i know it's i'm for the listener it's not about intelligence it's our lifestyle we don't need to know what day of the week it is if we're not working like now football season i go shit is it thursday yet because i know thursday is football and sunday and we're somewhere in between those. And I want to watch football just to get away. But they deal with people who have brain injuries that have to one day rehabilitate themselves

to go back to bringing the kids to soccer and making a meal for the old man that has all the four food groups. Or, okay, do you grocery shop? At one point, one of the therapists was asking questions. I was over the shoulder going, is this like a memory test, or is this stuff you need to know that I should jump in on? Because bingo will just give you an answer because you're asking for one, not knowing if it's right or wrong.

She just wants to, yes, I believe so. No, I understand what you're saying when the opposite is true. At one point she said, can you describe your house to me? And me and Tracy just, I don't know if it was Tracy or Kelly, but we just busted up laughing. Like if you could explain Van Dyke and the fun house. There's full-size hand-crafted steel palm trees and green gravel. And trim around the windows that are like a...

Yeah, Pee Wee's Playhouse. Yeah, right. It's seven different colors. What color is it? It's like seven, depending on... All colors. Oh, no, we're going to keep you now. Yeah, sorry.

Oh, we have to transfer you back to that psych ward you were in earlier in the year. Oh, we have to transfer you back to that psych ward you were in earlier in the year. But they don't understand that, yeah, she's never going to. They had one of these picture graphs. Let's say it's like, okay, now you point to the picture of this is how you make an omelet. And there's a picture of an egg and a picture of a whisk broom and a bowl and a picture of milk to it, which I'm immediately like, no, you don't add milk to eggs. And who uses a whisk broom? No.

And Bingo doesn't cook anything. Bingo, when she does cook, it's the most horrifying thing in the world she puts frozen pizza in a microwave in the middle frozen pizza microwaved not microwavable pizza yeah frozen pizza and then she eats it where it's all like soggy shitty and yeah she you know do you cook yes you cook for yourself and then they're worried about her burning her hand on a hot stove because of mental incapacities oh no she's not going to burn herself on a squeaky cheese, V8 cottage cheese. There's no way to explain it. But fortunately,

yesterday, I don't even want to bring this up. I'm going to just bring up a truncated version of this. Oh shit, did I finish the Trump, first of all? No. I'll do that, and then I've got the story with me and Tracy. All right.

Okay. This is... No, no, I'll close on that. Bingo had her accident two days before the election. Again, her short-term memory is fucked. two days before the election. Again, her short-term memory is fucked. We were waiting until she came around enough that we go,

all right, now is the time to ask. Hey, girl comes out of a coma, doesn't know Trump is president. We waited almost three weeks. Five days ago, I said, all right, we're going're gonna film it it was after that great day out that's where this and we filmed it and she said hillary clinton i think the first time first time she said clinton of course yeah and i said no it's donald trump what do you think about that and she i think she said scary or whatever it was. It wasn't a big payoff, but I said, before we put this out, let's try again in the morning. Now that I told her Trump is president, let's see if she retains it overnight.

Nope. Hillary Clinton, no big payoff. Let's try a third time. And now we're just going to keep asking her. We've got five times on videotape. Did we get it tonight? Yeah, we did. Yeah. Oh, wait.

Oh, I bet her tonight. Yeah, you bet her tonight. Tonight was the fifth videotape. This time I said, hey, do you want to bet me money on the election? She's been 3-0 on our football picks. We've got to get her Sunday pick to see if she goes 4-0 since the accident. So I go, hey, you're 3-0 on your football picks, which she doesn't remember.

You want to bet $100 on who's going to win this election? And she went, election? I said, the presidential election. I'll let you pick who you think's going to win for $100. And she said, Hillary Clinton.

And then I took the Time Magazine cover. He's got a Time Magazine like three feet away. Special edition. Trump, 45th President of the United States on the cover. And I handed it to her. And she just stared. First, she poses with it. She's not even absorbing what it says.

She's just like, oh, take a picture of me with it yeah not even absorbing what it says she's just like oh later the camera honey with it and then oh actually i don't want to be filmed with this no she doesn't want to be filmed with the the trach has been taken out i guess we never did get to the full update of how she's doing she She's making sentences, memory's short, she's getting the Drake out, now it's just a bandage over it, will heal in two days. She has to do a swallow test to see if she can have liquids because she was having aspirations where some fluid was going into her lungs, but that's probably over, but she has to be tested. Hopefully we're home by Wednesday the 7th. That's the update.

Should have done that up front. Yeah, we really should have. Well, let's just say this is up front and play like three hours of Little Feet at the end. Sorry, I was actually... Yeah, the Trump is done. So we're going to just keep doing the Trump until she remembers Trump's president

and then we'll montage all the little clips into one thing we'll tell her in a different way each time and hopefully one day we put it up because she knows Trump is president go ahead what do you got jokes I was thinking about

last night I think it was last night uh you tracy and i were doing the whole night like well late night shift up until like midnight one o'clock something like that yeah uh you took some you know sleeping pills whatever your pills, whatever. You're out. You're completely out. By 10 and then... 11, yeah. Yeah, 10 or 11. Shortly after you're out, Tracy

and I were just sitting there playing music and we're talking across the room and Bingo's in the middle of us and we're just bullshitting back and forth. And Bingo will occasionally cough. Even she's asleep. She'll wake up and just try to cough shit out.

But she has two holes in her face now. And they explained to us. The whole trach thing started with a lung infection and the walking pneumonia she had before she even fell. Didn't know she had. And they explained with the trach she will cough your that's a natural reaction because your throat yeah your throat has a plastic tube hanging it's good yeah right yeah it's a little a little worse than a bong hit well nowadays you know she's got a cap on the end of the trach before it was an open hole where she would have to put her finger over it and she could talk before today.

They put in a smaller trach as a temporary with a cap on it, meaning she has to force air in and out of her mouth and nose. And if she can have that for two days, she gets rid of the trach because it proves that she doesn't need the trach. So we did that, but this has a cap over it. It's just a slide-on cap. You can slide it on, slide it off. When you want to talk, put it on, whatever.

Because she's retarded. She puts it on, puts it off, whatever. She fiddles with it. Yeah, yeah. Quit picking at it. Constantly. And so she's passed out he's passed out tracy and i are you know bullshitting and i'm drinking and we're having a good time

playing music and tracy gets up walks across the room kind of perpendicular to bingo's line of fire and you'll find out what that means later um she walks across and bingo all of a sudden goes into a coughing fit it's like just that okay a couple of times she coughs no big deal look at her i'm back to my phone you know and i'm fucking around and in my peripheral i see tracy come walking up and she kind of bends down to like grab something out of a bag. This is 12 feet away, mind you. And all of a sudden, as soon as she bends down, there's this piece of plastic that's like a champagne cork without a purpose. Like, fuck, it just like boom and it hits the wall like misses her head by two inches.

And she like ducks and like it hits the ground. And I see it. I see this piece of plastic on the ground. I said, is that what I think it is? She said, oh, yeah. She picks it up. She's like, I guess I better put this back on. And it's bingo's cap for fucking trike.

She coughed it and it went across the room and pinged across the wall it was so good jaylee i remember those old i think back of a comic book guns that had the cork in yes yes that was the same thing like hit a wall and it was just bouncing all over and yeah it was like okay well just kind of like rub it on the your shirt and then put it back on her throat and no one's the wiser let's just and jobe when when bingo gets back she will still need months of 24 hour seven care or beings since we've been with her, it was so much easier when she was in a coma. Because then you just had to sit there and worry. But now you have to go,

oh, I have to worry and stop her from pulling the trach out of her neck, which she did once when you were here. Oh, yeah. Pulled the full deal. Oh, her, yeah. Ripped the whole thing. It wasn't just the insulin. During physical therapy. Pulled the full deal. Oh, her, yeah. Ripped the whole thing. It wasn't just the insulin. During physical therapy.

She pulled the whole thing out. It was just a gaping hole in her neck. Doesn't understand why she can't. I can do whatever I want. Gorgeous at the same time. So when she gets home, she won't have a trach anymore, and the hole will be healed up,

and she'll be able to drink liquids. But because of the brain damage that she has and she'll be able to drink liquids but because of the brain damage that she has she doesn't have impulse control she's gonna have to be watched for at least long enough that we know over a course of time she won't try to grab car keys when you're asleep and drive somewhere where she doesn't realize that's wrong two to four weeks minimum you know to feel it out it's so hard to tweet how she's doing because you go, oh, she's doing good. And everyone says, hey, glad she's back. No, she's not.

But she's not going to die by any stretch either. But it's going to be a couple months. And last night we were talking. I don't want to strangle her today. Night shift is killing me. And I go, we'll get her right back to Bisbee because we have lots of friends for support there. Sure. But we're thinking, who's going to do that late night, midnight to 7 a.m.?

We don't have the David Tell type of insomniacs for friends. If we stay up till midnight, we're the latest people up and we feel like it. And then, yeah, you're returning drunk at that point. The point is, we're sitting around while you're cooking dinner last night

and then we never thought, oh, fuck, Joby just moved back to town. He's got nothing going on. He's trying to figure out what he's going to do and he's up all night staring at the ceiling.

Doing death pool petitions. Petitions. Yeah. And then he's like, yeah, Joby's got night shift. And it worked out perfectly. So, yeah, is it wrong? I put this to you, the listener. Is it wrong that Bingo, who, as you know, is in the death pool,

and anyone that plays along knew to switch her out on November 15th and put her in the death pool to prove we're not hypocrites? Yeah, we all lost money on that, but there's another trade round coming up. You can take her back out. Last one of the season. Is it wrong for me as the Donald Trump of this affair to name my chief of

night shift staff for Bingo the same person that runs my death pool that Bingo is in to watch her alone at night overnight to make sure nothing bad happens. It is a conflict of interest. And maybe we should have a stockholders vote for people in the death pool. Congratulations.

Is it Death Squad MUFC? Who's the one who's got? No, it's Lorena's Kitchen. Yeah, Lorena's Kitchen is number one right now. It's one month left. But it's Death Squad MUFC is the point holder. All right, but Lorena's Kitchen has 17 kills out of 20 with a month left. It's a word 666.

Yeah, he's huge. It's unprecedented. Hey, bingo. And three kills away from a perfect season in Death Pool. And I think if someone gets that, it's going to be a damn prize. We've got to buy him a car. Yeah. Something.

Bingo's up. Hey, bingo. Listen, we're just wrapping up this anyway. You're walking around with all your snacks in your pajama pants and your blanket, and you found us in the back corner of the cafeteria. Come here. You're going to cover that yourself. Cover that with the back of your hand so you can talk.

Good. What do you want me to say? I don't know. We're going to close up the podcast. Oh, no. Do you want to say anything to the people that sent you all that fan stuff that you haven't even seen yet? No, I don't want to say anything. All right, then here, plug my new CD.

Doug Stenum, No Place Like Home. It's available on my website. What's my website? Dougstenum.com. Perfect.. What's my website? dogstayathome.com Perfect. And who's that from? Who's that from? No, this is...

I was just signing a bunch here. We had to do some work in the middle of the night here in this... Good for you. She meant that. She meant that. I meant that. I know. My blowhole... Your blowhole is what? Blowing up. Yeah know. My blowhole.

Your blowhole is what? Blowing up. Yeah, your blowhole blows. It's just gauze now, so it's going to blow out when you talk. It's only a day and a half more. It'll heal up. All right. I thought you had a bunch of Seroquel in you.

No. No, you do. No, I will tomorrow. We told the story about how we stoleeroquel in you. No. No, you do. No, I love the one. We told the story about how we stole your pie. Okay. Okay. Oh. All right.

Well, I'm glad you brought your whole bag of snacks and your Afghan and your footie slippers out and you found us in the back corner of the cafeteria. Okay. All right. I love you. Do we have anything else? Hang on. I think we're Okay. All right. I love you. Do we have anything else? Hang on. I think we're done. All right.

Is there any song you want me to play for them? Do you want me to play one of your songs? No? No, not mine. You don't want to close on any? Do you have a favorite artist or group? No, not right now. Not right now?

No. I'm going to go take care of my trach. Okay. Listen, I'm going to double I want you to use the back of your hand to cover your trach when you answer. I'm going to double or nothing on our last bet and I'm going to bet you on the presidential

election. Who do you think is going to win? I'll let you pick first for $200. On our last bet. The last election, who do you think is going to win? I'll let you pick first for $200. Don't bet on me. On our last bet, the last bet you lost, so I'm going to bet you this time. What? Did you just get Trump? Trump.

You think Trump's going to win? Yeah, I think Trump's going to win. All right. If you think Trump's going to win. Did you already? Did you keep? All right. I'm going to get the next one on video tomorrow.

Okay. Yeah? All right. I'm going to get the next one on video tomorrow. Okay. All right. Maybe you're bullshitting me. Maybe she set you up. I'll figure it out in the morning. All right. But you have a bet. I told you you have a bet. If you remember in the morning, then you get 200 bucks.

Well, no, you got nothing coming your way. All right. We got to go. Hey, honestly, I can't thank. I literally can't thank enough people enough for all the outpouring of thanks. So I can't thank you enough, so I won't even try, but you know what I mean. And now here's the nothing that Bingo wanted you to hear to close out. Bye..