The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #191: Taking It Out on the Right People

Episode Date: January 27, 2017

This episode sponsored by BlueApron.com. Get you first 3 meals for FREE by signing up at BlueApron.com/STANHOPE (#blueapron)Doug details a recent morning hate incident and the idea of holding the people responsible. Bisbee artist Gretchen Baer is forced to end her Border Bedazzlers project and announces the grand opening of her new Kid's Art Center in Naco, Mexico. LA Times reporter Nigel Duara reports on his first Border Patrol stop.You can help out the Kids Art Center in Naco, Mexico by sending a donation straight to Gretchen Baer through Paypal at [e-mail] .Recorded Jan 19, 2017 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Tom Konopka (@realTomKonopka), Gretchen Baer ([e-mail]), Nigel Duara (@nigelduara), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.Closing song, "Washin' My Big Ol' Pussy", by Birdcloud. Available on iTunes.LINKS:- Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/- Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.com/storeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're here for a while i have notes from you from last night but oh that should have been a podcast oh it will be oh it has to be when you have notes that say orgy dome and a fuzzy recollection even bingo read that one what's orgy dome you have to hear it from her I wrote it down and I'm like wow I wonder what I meant by that I just heard you say it and I'm very interested I woke up fuck I was up fairly late for recently last night, and I still... Last night...

I don't know what time we got out of here, but I still woke up at 7, because Bingo has the speech therapy, so I woke up when she was leaving and just didn't go back to bed and stayed in... I was just trying to direct my morning hate appropriately but i i just fucking wiped i could have gone back to sleep but i didn't and then i checked my email and i got some random spam from some arizona department of health i i forget how they phrase it, but it's for minorities. It says, Happy New Year.

You've subscribed to this newsletter. No, I didn't. So I take umbrage with the fact that they tell me a lie right away. Why would I sign up for news? I couldn't even understand it, but there's a phone number at the bottom, and I called Hongong and then her last name is french but oh the hong was in full play so i get this chinese woman on the phone and go i'm going why did i get this spam one of the ideas that we actually pitched as a standalone idea when

we're talking about tv ideas was finding the person responsible which you just take one small pet peeve out of your day your call is really important to us please continue to hold it why am i on the phone for fucking 25 minutes to and just actually go through roger moore michael moore style roger and me just to find the one cocksucker that's responsible. No, I didn't subscribe to the Arizona. Find out what it is. Yeah. So that's what I'm going to do.

And I get through Hong. I go, well, then where did my email get to you from? And she gave me some other guy's number. And I went in again. I go, by 5 o'clock tonight when we podcast i am gonna find the person responsible and then the other guy he's really trying to help me and yeah after about 45 minutes i lost interest but i've got this guy so worked up now like i just want to find out no you wanted and then at the end of

whatever it is instead of you know with roger and me i don't know what it's just impotent rage if i found the person responsible i'd just burn a bag of dog shit on their doorstep and ring their doorbell or something timeless like yes that's something yeah your morning vitriol has got to be expelled and the fact that you were by yourself at the house makes it even harder you must be panicking is that are you some are the jehovah's witness coming by how do i do this do i go out and meet a neighbor today i mean someone's gonna catch that again when you when you hate every single thing you're experiencing, you know it's you. You can't hate that much. So I get my 600-pound life, whatever fucking TLC channel, just 600-pound-plus people.

I love it because it makes Chaley vomit. I text them pictures of it, people with that lymphedema, like giants, like an elephant man, human-sized nutsack coming out of their belly that covers their genitals. And they blur. Like if it's nipples or if they get in a position where you can see their genitals, they blur it. Or they show you all these folds. That's mine right there. The scabs from folds touching each other.

That should be blurred. That should be blurred. I tweeted months ago, I tweeted where they had pulled up through a shoulder to pull up a fold to get at bedsores that looked like

the biggest vagina. And i tweeted a close-up picture uh off my tv on twitter just to watch people respond thinking it was that it wasn't a sky candy no no that's not people were qualified people were twitter messaging me pictures of their experience with 600 pound life life on TV. Oh, my God. Because now that people know you vomit easily at those kind of pictures, they'll send them to at Greg Chaley on Twitter. But this one, it's kind of like Hoarders, where the more you watch, you know the formula, and you can be halfway in and go oh yeah i have seen this one because

they're all these folds and yeah it's folds they start out with the shower scene they get every one of them showering with the brush and it's like directing a porno only disgusting yeah completely disgusting yeah yeah and then it's uh how much they eat and then it's the trip to either the supermarket or through the fast food where they could barely fit in the car and or they send someone out and what they eat and it shows them eating then the montage of why they did this oh their parents divorced when she was five and that's why she's fat no she was fat when she was three you showed the picture. Stop.

You found an excuse in the middle. Now we need a money shot. Get close up in the hospital bed. Oh, but God. I was so fucking angry. I almost wanted to find the lady, because they do the where are they nows, and she just kept saying, well, it hurts so bad to even move, but I want to lose the weight for my kids, 751 pounds,

but I'm going to do this for my five kids. Oh! I'm going to lose this. Oh, I'm in so much pain. And then she gets this stomach stapling. Oh, it's agony, but I'm going to do it for you kids. It's like you're heaping so much of your own. Like it's your kid's fault.

I'm doing this for you. I want a cheese stick so bad. My sores are weeping, but this is for you. You're a fucking rotten human being. There's just so many people. Literally and figuratively. It's rotting away.

Awful. That is disgusting. So yeah, I was the spam guy and then the My 600-lb Life, and then I really want to watch the... Hey, I'm with Nigel Duara from the formerly LA Times times but now the uh phoenix weekly oh welcome back hey was it you that told me

okay i just yeah all right sorry i get the germ of oh it's's your buddy from the LA Times that's now at the... Yes, yes. Sorry, I read her... I get misinformation from a glanced-over text from your friend, Gretchen Bear. Gretchen Bear. Bisbee, a famous artist. She is it. She is the artist of Bisbee. And we'll get to Gretchen and Nigel in a second,

but Nigel, I was going to... The... Leah Remini, is that how you pronounce her name? The Scientology... Remini? Yeah, Leah Remini. That's how she pronounces it. Remini?

Okay. Yep. Gemini. From her, yeah. She's got this Scientology series. It's a series. It's not just... It's such a long title that you just see the first part of it. I think it's the same one every time. No, it's a series it's not just it's such a long title that you just see the first part of it

i think it's the same one every time but no i had i went to go binge watch that and it's funny because as soon as i started that bingo hates it so uh i started it and then i was on my computer at the same time and the last tweet that was in my feed was from rogan who in an exchange with leah ramini you just keep correcting me every time i mispronounce that remnant i think it's yeah uh asking her to be on the podcast and her saying hey name the time and i'm like fuck i'm watching this i'm just about to binge which might binge last two episodes a because bingo hated it to binge, which my binge lasted two episodes. A, because Bingo hated it.

B, it's kind of already covered succinctly in that big HBO special from a year ago. The documentary. What was that one called? I don't recall. It's not Going Clear.

Going Clear. I know that's a book. And that was the New Yorker story also before that. That started it. And she shouldn't be doing it. It's so clumsy in that, I mean, she was a Scientologist that finally got thrown out and excommunicated because she started asking a lot

of questions. David Miskovich You want to correct that pronunciation? Yeah, it's Remini. Who knows? Yeah, it's Remini. Ba-dum-bum. The leader of Scientology, his wife has not been seen in public since 2007.

Wow. And Leah was a lifelong Scientologist, and they were friends, and she started asking a lot of questions. Yeah. Where is she? And they just kept giving her the runaround, and she's like, oh, that's bullshit. Yeah.

So she finally filed a missing persons report, and allegedly the LAPD did see her in person, and she said, oh, I'm just devoting my time. But if you delve into Scientology, oh, yeah, they keep them in fucking camps and weird shit. Cleaning toilets. Pure mind control. Isolation.

Yeah. Absolutely. All this insanity. It's like fucking North Korea shit. It's MKUltra. Where they believe. They're not allowed to. It really is. It's not like they don't have, yeah absolutely all this insanity it's like fucking north korea it's mk ultra where they believe they're not allowed to ultra yeah it's not like they don't have they're not supposed to read the media or anything it's anything that's bad about scientology don't read it

they're suppressive people sps hey but other than that fantastic but she so she just recently got thrown out very publicly or left, and now she's an SP. But that doesn't make you an expert on the subject. It's like 9-11 inside job. Well, I lost my son in 9-11. Well, that doesn't make you an expert on what melts metal. I know you have a flag you can fly in this argument, and everyone's going to give you a pass.

So she does this. And anything that's against Scientology, I'm for. And it is a good show. It took guts for her to do it. I admire that aspect. But there's an element of... A little bit about me. Did you ever see Jesse Ventura do the conspiracy theory show?

So it's set up like that, where she's the host and interviewer, but she also seems to act surprised about what she's supposed to be an expert and already know and they did what? We were friends for seven years while this whole thing was going on but now I have to ask you as though I don't know

even though I just said that so she's, like, Jesse Ventura would show up and they'd have the whole set up at the table now you're telling me Lee Harvey Oswald might have... Wait a minute! Wait, you didn't know you were doing a TV show and catch up on this? We need to get people down there.

You're telling me this now that we have all these cameras? I'll tell you what we need. We need to mobilize. We need a crew down there immediately. I'm going to do the research over here, and I'll catch up with you in a couple of days. This is outrageous! So it's got hints of that. It's not that bad. I've going to do the research over here and I'll catch up with you in a couple of days. This is outrageous! It's got hints of that.

It's not that bad. I've not seen it. Now I definitely want to see it. To the point where it kind of hurts the show. Do you know about this? You should be a guest on this show. You should be hosting this show.

She's got another guy that's basically a co-host, but he comes across as a guest. He's a driver. He's the guy that's driving around when she's on. No, no, he's another survivor, escapee. Okay. Yes.

But why is this guy? Oh, he's her co-host, but they don't mention it, so he seems like a constant guest. Yeah. Cause each episode is someone else that got fucked over. Well, why is that guy? Why?

They don't explain why he's there. They don't. Yeah. So listen, Jonathan, if this works out next season, we'll give you credit right now. Yeah.

My God, that fucking Miskovich guy is one of the, he should be in every movie as the creepy yeah he is rapey pedophile fucking bond villain type yeah oh yeah over the top yeah bond villain with a kid on his dick never blink patch cat kid on his dick heading a kid on his yes yeah and and some kind of rotating sharp thing that'll eventually cut your head off but you get out but the rope was loose gretchen and nigel sorry i just had to yell about what i was yelling at bingo about all day her fucking brain is like tender enough and then she has to hear me screaming

on the phone at some random chinese woman because i got one piece of spam. She didn't know the long con. I was trying to eventually get to the guy that deserved to be yelled at. She didn't know she was just a pawn on the chessboard. I don't think they even have chess in that country. Chinese checkers. Chinese checkers. Chinese checkers. Chinese checkers. Yeah, Chinese checkers. So, Nigel, you've been down here to do a million stories. Cool. And Gretchen.

Gretchen. Known for the border bedazzlers, amongst other things. Hang on, before we get into that. Yeah. Gretchen is, if you go to the hashtag Hill car, H I L L car, she's a, does car art. She has a now eight year old Hillary Clinton car, Hillary Clinton art car. And that you went on both campaigns.

Yeah. I went to 16 States. I went, I did eight did 2008 in that car all around the country and 2016. It's all over Twitter. It was pretty awesome until it all went awry. But while it was going on, it was really amazing.

That car was almost really valuable. I know, yeah. It's almost really valuable. Two questions. One on almost really valuable. Two questions. One on the election night. Who had worse brain trauma? Bingo in a coma

or you watching the results? Well, yeah, Bingo was put out of her misery. So I was at the Javits Center and it was like being in the Titanic. It was horrible. Where were you at? I was at the Javits Center in New York was like being in the Titanic. It was horrible. Where were you at? I was at the Javits Center in New York.

In New York, where they were going to have the celebration. You know, the glass ceiling and all that. Did you steal any of that unopened champagne? Oh, there was none. Even by like 8 o'clock at night, well before anything even started, that downstairs area where the food is, the food court or whatever, was completely decimated. There was no food left.

Seriously, it was like being on one of those survivor shows where you run into the grocery store and you find one, maybe some Ritz crackers or something. When a hurricane's coming to Waterdale and they just strip the shelves and the wiggly wiggly baby formula is gone. There was nothing left. Nothing. But you can't return shrimp. Did people just eat it?

The salt is empty. Yeah, there was like, I was lucky I got a bottle of water and a $6 granola bar, really bad kind, like the Nature's Valley or whatever. Dry and crunchy. Even before it happened, it was horrible.

People just said, fuck it, let's just rape the catering line. And that was 8 o'clock. It was insane. The whole, the Javits Center was a disaster even before the, you know, the big. When you, not this election, but the last one, you get to hang with Bill. You sat next to Bill while she was giving a speech in Phoenix.

Was it Phoenix? Actually, I sat with him watching her in a debate. Debate, yeah. Yeah, with Obama, and like a house party, which was pretty cool. Yeah, and I saw her a lot this year. You went to a Bill Clinton party? Do you think now that she lost, because I know

I say with all love, you're a bit of a star fucker. Alright. When it has a twist, you had fake Jan Day, you were trying to get fake Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch down here. Like fun star fucker.

Yeah, on occasion. Was there any part of your brain when she lost that thought, oh, she'll be more accessible now? If she won, she'd never return an email. I don't know. That's a good question. Did I put that in your head right now? She did that whole disappearing into the woods thing for a while, so I knew she wasn't accessible to anybody, as she isn't right now that's you know she did that whole like disappearing into the woods thing for a

while so i knew like she wasn't accessible to anybody as she isn't right now either except for that little kid except that little kid that was out there and do you buy those stories no i don't think i think they were staged yeah there's some level there's a firm somewhere that writes and they picture like a million ideas what if you were in the woods and met a kid and took a picture and she told you about her hopes and dreams for america one day even though she's six you're a stranger fucking disheveled lady crying in a park but that one works wasn't that kind of the through line though though, with Michelle and Hillary talking about, like, now even the little girls growing up can see that a woman can be pregnant. That was the arc.

They were going to do that. So, I mean, that was a theme that was going for a long time. Yeah, and that was... So someone goes, oh, here we go. This is the bow on top. Picture this. Forest. It's walking.

They won't be able to tell where. It'll be a set. We're going to be there now. We're good. It's all closed. Don't worry. It's the same set we used for the moon landing. I put a little girl on some trees.

Throw some leaves in there. Yeah, yeah. It's all angles. It's all angles. Everything will be a tight shot. It's all angles. It's all angles. It doesn't matter.

Everything will be a tight shot. There'll be a little girl in the park conspiracy theorist who'd blow up the picture and see crow's feet. It's a midget, like a 45-year-old midget. I hope one day I can be like you. But we were talking before we started because the inauguration pregame party is on and we had that on and we were talking about occasionally Trump does say something funny or that you agree with just randomly, not necessarily policy, but just some flip. Even if it's just a flippant remark and you go, that's funny. And then you feel this disgust.

Yeah, dirty. I don't have that problem. You never scream something racist in the privacy of your own car at a bad driver? If your podcast machine is shaking back and forth, left and right, it's because Gretchen is shaking her head. I never feel that way.

He just had something that he said funny about why he's going to keep his speech short. Because I've been to enough rubber chicken dinners where you have to, no one ever said at the end, I wish that speech was longer. That was a great speech. And I go, that's what I said.

You wish that it came out of the mouth of someone. Anybody else. I bet it did. That was a great speech. And I go, that's what I said. You wish that it came out of the mouth of someone. Anybody else. I bet it did, by the way. Yeah. But while you're talking, that's right behind your head, a giant screen of him talking. And he makes me so sick.

I don't put it on. We only put it on because Bingo, Shaley saw something and Bingo said, let's watch it. The inaugural concert, and I'm in the kitchen, and it's just on in the background like we do here, and Trace is like, Shaylee, you've got to come check this out. They have a guy that's like a drummer with drums all around him. Dirty drums. Yeah, like behind him.

So you can go, Neil Peart. around him like this crazy yeah like like behind him so you can go neil pert and it's like what what what are you watching it was the inaugural concert you gotta see this they fucking had a guy do a drum solo with the like the like a concert like the the philharmonic or something they had a fucking like a whole thing going, but then this fucking dude with a mohawk doing, but it wasn't even like a drum solo, but it was like, that's the worst part

of any song is a drum solo. Kelly said that's, like if that was a Burning Man, no one would even watch. No, it would be like,

oh fuck that guy. But that was a key feature and then they were playing like America the Beautiful. Oh my God. And they finished, but it wasn't like he was doing like triplets or anything like that. He's going.

Wait a minute. This is a warm up for a drum solo. When's the fucking drummer show up? Oh, it's so horrible. And then that was and then they all finished on time. And you're like, I guess that was it. That was it. Kids say the darndest things.

Bingo. Well, CNN is on and it's Trump and stuff. But she doesn't understand. But she just said, do you think you'll get assassinated? Oh, the A word. And I thought, and that's why I wanted to pose this question to Gretchen, as much as you're disappointed, I would be far more disappointed with Pence.

Oh, you mean like... If you had to choose. I know, it doesn't solve the problem by getting rid of Trump. It just takes away the... by getting rid of Trump. It just takes away the sort of weird clown element. It's a lateral move. No, Trump is a complete wild card. Pence would be status quo again. Trump, who fucking knows where his ego will take him.

His ego might take him. If he battled with Republicans that offended him personally enough, he might go completely liberal. He doesn't really have any points of view except the whim. A guy like Pence really believes his bullshit. Fucking Trump could possibly.

That's a theory that's out there. The only reason Ryan got on board was because he picked Pence because the fix is in. They're going to impeach. I mean, this is conspiracy. They'll find a way. They could easily find a way.

But the GOP, they've got plenty of people that disagree. They're just toeing the party line that they, I think, down the road, if they get him impeached, they're fine with Pence. I think they'll impeach. He's not a with Pence. I think he'll get impeached. He's not a company man. It's the same way if – Trump isn't. Trump is not. It's the same reason that Cruz is a lot scarier potentially than Trump if you're a liberal because Cruz knows how to operate.

He was a solicitor general. He knows how to cut through and make laws that will change people's lives tomorrow. Where Trump may just be getting his feet wet and kind of start pedaling early, Cruz has already, you know, been doing this for years. But he can left turn at any moment, like Doug said. He's fucking crazy like that. You scuff his shoe in the elevator and he's going to get you and your

family fired. I have not paid any attention to it and I'm sorry to every listener because your lives are inundated with it. I've ignored it. I have shit to do. But it's still, sometimes it makes me happy because I don't have a future. And that's going to be some crazy shit to watch. And no other candidate would be interesting.

In 11 hours, according to the clock, the candidate that's been most adversarial to what I do and has threatened reporters more is going to be put into office hours, according to the clock, the candidate that's been most adversarial to what I do and has threatened reporters more is going to be put into office and has said that we should change libel laws. And if you say bad things about somebody, you should be able to prosecute it, which I assume would go to your line of work also. So it's kind of an interesting time to watch what's going to happen. Like you said, it could be a left turn out of nowhere, but it could also be saying, hey, Britain's got these great libel laws. Think about that, which is terrifying if you're a reporter or someone who relies on the First Amendment.

Yeah, I'm not afraid at all. I think that the same as I was going to find the person responsible for that email, I think his attention span for his hatred is so easily interrupted. Yeah, fuck the Mexicans. Who said what? All right, North Korea. Fuck the poor. I don't know what I'm doing. I just yell a lot of shit.

I don't follow through with it. Well, I just hope he doesn't fall through on pressing that nuclear button. That's my worst fear for him, is that someone could upset his fragile ego to the point where he'd be like, fuck you, I'm just going to blow you all up. I don't think it's going to go at Cafe Roca because you have a Hillary car. Not personally. No, I mean, you know, it could happen.

Well, that's the problem. You think about other people, and I only think about me personally. I got nothing to worry about. All right. We don't all, you know, live through some nuclear. This isn't fucking AM talk radio. I'm being flippant on purpose. But let's get to your project that Border Bedazzlers

fill the people in. Alright. I have a group called the Border Bedazzlers and we paint the U.S.-Mexico border wall on the Mexican side with kids down in our little town that's only six miles from here. How many people live in

Naco, Mexico? 6,000. 6,000. 2,000 of which are children, believe it or not. Wow. Yeah, there's a lot of kids down there. That's why there's no kids here. They steal them all. Yeah.

I was in line at Safeway the other day, and there was this screaming four-year-old, whatever, just really... And I realized in that moment of annoyance how rare that is in bisbee yeah there's almost no fucking kids in bisbee i think yeah and they're they're they're on uh you know trade out with the ex-husband in benson so you only really see him two weeks out of a month but yeah so there are a shit load of kids we went over with butters one year

to the orphanage but you paint yeah so we paint the border wall on the Mexican side and it's taken us six years

to do a mile we painted an entire mile a full mile of the you know the border wall so it's like

all these panels done by all these kids it's pretty cool it was a lot of fun and now the wall is being torn down tomorrow you know, the border wall. So it's like all these panels done by all these kids. It's pretty cool. It was a lot of fun. And now the wall is being torn down tomorrow. Why? Because they're going to put up like a wire,

like the prison style wire wall. Constantina wire, the rolls. Yeah. You know, Berlin Wall. Did you ever think, hey, if I do vote Trump, I'll get a bigger canvas. No, not that. Maybe you just need to attack this differently. You can go over there now and paint the wire.

I don't want to paint the wire. Christmas decorations off it. Yeah. I think you should explain what you're painting. You're not painting it all one color. You're giving kids. Yeah. I bring them up to paint, and kids paint whatever they want.

It's always pretty fun and colorful. Yankee go home and stuff like that. Yankee go home, whatever. Well, I asked you about that, and you said that the kids didn't really draw like the Border Patrol agents with stink lines coming off. They never do. They never do. Which would be the first thing I think.

I think they're happier down there. You know, it's like, it's a pretty sweet little town and the people are nice, really nice. And they're huffing paint.

And the kids are pretty cool and they're just painting, they're just happy, you know, and they paint funny stuff. Stick figures and shit that kids paint. Yeah, kid stuff.

I saw a lot of that on YouTube. I think it's fantastic to see. It's fun. It's coming down tomorrow. They're not taking the wall down. They're taking the wall down. They're taking the painted wall. We have a mile of painted wall which takes the entire... Describe the wall.

I'm assuming it's a metal wall with plywood that you painted on. They're tearing the plywood. They're not tearing the entire wall. Yes, they're tearing the entire wall. The wall itself is actually... I know I've been out of it, but I know the bullet points of the last

six months, and it's, I'm going to build a bigger wall, and then tomorrow, on Inauguration Day, they're tearing down this small wall that exists right now. But there's already a big wall in front of that. I mean, there's already a wall that is secure in the area.

It's like a DMZ, like a buffer zone. So we just lost a foot of fucking ground to the Mexicans. Yeah, like a year ago they put a second wall running parallel to the painted border wall. And I want to tell you, the painted border wall, what it is

is it's landing strips from the Gulf War. So it's got kind of like this corrugated kind of thing, but it's all you can paint it. That's the beauty of it. It's kind of like that right there. You're a corrugated tin, kind of, almost. But it's more angular.

It's more angular and it's heavy-duty steel. So they are tearing that down. They're taking it away, and they're putting up a wire, a second wire fence so they'll have a space in between they can drive. Like a buffer zone. Right. Like the DMZ.

Right, exactly. Yes. Israel has a wall like that. I just saw something on TV where they have a very efficient wall, but it looks like a fucking camp, like a prison camp efficient wall, but I mean it looks like a fucking like a camp, like a prison camp or something, or you know, like a concentration camp.

I look at the walls around this wonderful complex, Douglas. We can bring them up here and paint around the outside of the whole perimeter of this, right? Or the inside. Or the inside. And then the top. Inside, outside, nobody knows. Yeah, that's fantastic. Whose side are you on anyway, Tom?

Give me a spray paint can. We'll find out. So do you start from scratch? So actually when that happened and I was like, you know, I didn't really want to stop down there because it's pretty fun. Like Mexico is actually pretty fun. And I had this idea of opening a kids' art center that's been kind of rattling around in my brain for a long time that would be really fun to do in mexico so um i mentioned it to this guy tom carlson and he's like

uh oh i have space for you and the next day he gave me a key he's like have at it and it's right i have this building that's right on the border like right when you come into mexico it's right i have this building that's right on the border like right when you come into mexico's right next to border patrol for the listener the border here at naco seven miles from here and you walk across yeah go through a turnstile on the way in park on the u.s side because there's a like an old the gay 90s bar plug how about that just park at the gay 90s bar plug. How about that? Just park at the gay 90s, have a beer, get your courage up, because you think, oh, I'm going to get kidnapped. And then you get across in this. Delicious tacos.

Delicious tacos, a tumbleweed, a kid, and maybe one guy that asks if you need directions to a pharmacy. Yeah, and now you'll see a kid's art center and an art center for anybody. So I'm just going to load it full of art supplies and make stuff. How do you say kids art supplies in Spanish? Well,

kids is niños, art, arte, and supplies, I have no idea. I don't really speak Spanish. Chingarera.

Just make it up. Remedy. Remedy. Callback. So you start that? Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Same day start that? Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, same day that the wall's coming down.

Good for you. That's fantastic. So, you know. Well, so we were driving today. You were driving me across to Mexico. Right. And we were still on the U.S. side. And suddenly a car pulls up behind us with flashing red-blue lights.

Yeah, sure. So I thought obviously I was being pulled over. Down in Naco? Coming into Naco in the USA, it was like Border Patrol and I'm like, what? I was not speeding. And I rolled on my window and it's this actually really nice looking guy. Chaley's giving

the look. Every vehicle, and I own the same kind i know uh every border patrol ice state trooper cochise county sheriff or bisbee pd all drive a fucking white suburban so if you just see the lights you don't know right away which kind of gas guzzler like a dark green or this was like a boss's. This was a black car. Black. Undercover.

Well, yeah. It was going to be some dude that had like a captain's thing, which he ended up having. Yeah, he was like a... We have his card somewhere. And he was a good looking dude. He was a good looking dude

and he was really nice. And he said, I've been looking for you. Sean is working long hours and not paying enough attention. And if you make yourself more available. He's like, are you Gretchen Barrett?

I'm like, yes. He's like, I've been looking for you. I started filming right there. I've been looking for you for months. You're driving the Hillary car then, obviously. And he said, I know that you went away and you were with Hillary and you traveled around the country with Hillary for a while. His eyes gleaming blue.

And I'm like, yes. And he said, I know you work at Cafe Roca, but I didn't want to scare you and come by there as a Border Patrol guy. But he's like, we want to give you some of the border wall if you want it. Oh, that's cool as shit. And I'm like, he's like, you can have whatever you want.

And I was like, well, I don't know. They weigh a ton, literally a ton of piece. They're pieces, right? They like, they slide in. But how nice, right?

He was literally looking for me for a long time. He's like, we didn't know where you were. And so he's like, we don't have the money to eat at Roca. Well, I mean, honestly,

I almost, I mean, I hope the border patrol union listens to this podcast. Most of my interactions with them have been negative. And this was one where I got to say, whether it's a maneuver on their part for publicity or it's just the goodness of their own hearts, it's the first time I've been like, damn, okay. So I said to him, I'm like, well, I have this kids' art center that we're going to start. Oh, they don't like us over there.

I'm 86 from that part of the country. I'm 86, I'm not Gaco. Anyway, I said, I know the thing's way so much. Is there any chance you could all bring them over to me? And he said, okay, yeah, sure, of course. So I'll write my name on the panels that I want. Here's Shawnee's working hours. Come during those hours. course so and i'm like so i'll just pick i'll write my name on the panels that i want here's shawnee's working hours come during those hours yeah yeah they are going to get rid of them but

then they're going to dispose of extra work to actually bring them another you know a couple blocks away i think i've seen those that same uh structure when they're digging in the ground they slide those down like when they're doing in the ground, they slide those down when they're doing street construction to water lines or something. That's how heavy-duty they are. They hold back the earth while people are working down in a pit.

Yeah, they're heavy-duty. Yeah, so just moving those around. So even taking one is to ask a lot. I could never move it myself. Once it's there, it's like, there it is for the rest of time. Or you get a crane and have to actually erect it yourself at the place. And I'm probably not going to get a crane.

Wow. Shawnee will for a price. Yeah, probably. He'd love to do that, actually. Well, this has all been out of your pocket. This has all been out of your pocket for painting and everything. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

How do the killer termites donate to your project with the wall? They should do that. Your sabotage of the wall. That's it. All right. Well, actually, I could use the donations because I am doing a whole kid center on my own, and I'm a waitress. And I'm a waitress.

So you could PayPal me at Gretchen at GretchenBear.com. G-R-E-T-C-H-E-N at G-R-E-T-C-H-E-N-B-A-E-R.com. There you go. And that would be a cool way because I will be buying art supplies and this is going to be a great thing. Everyone, please, listeners, stop, rewind the podcast And write that down Gretchen at GretchenBear.com So just paypal it

Don't set up a GoFundMe Where there's some fucking snakes Get a cut I could put a donate button on the website as well We'll put it on the main page For this episode Or if you just want to send a check to Gretchen Baer at 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603.

And maybe if you ever stop by town, I can trade you a bottle of vodka for $5. All right. Keep this odd charity thing going. Yeah, come down to Roca and leave her an unbelievable talk. There you go. Cafe Roca. That's it.

Nothing less than a grant. If you want to come to Bisbee and have the big experience, you go to Cafe Roca, you say, hey, is Gretchen working? Is Fred at the bar? And say, hey, we're fans of the Doug Stanhope podcast, and they'll take care of you. There you go. Sure will.

Deep pocket. Subscribe to the LA Times. We're dying. Oh, grab the LA Times. I was going to ask you about that, because when I misread her text message that said Phoenix, and I confused, oh, is he with the Phoenix Weekly?

I've noticed last few times we were out on the road I know newspapers are dying but I picked up a weekly somewhere we were last on the road or maybe I was just fucking off somewhere and it was just Tucson

it was the fucking hospital the Tucson Weekly had happenings. Yeah, it used to be like eight pages of music, theater, dance. There was a quarter of a page of what's going on, and it was the weekly. Are they dying as well? They're getting hit, especially some of the Vice stuff.

Well, what I would consider Vice stuff. I don't mean the company. I mean Backpage.com or Podshops. Oh, I've been writing about them in my book. I guess that's long enough ago. I have to explain what a weekly was and how you got the escorts out of the classifieds in the back. This is what a newspaper is.

Yeah. Yeah, no, and so there's none of that stuff. And so there's less room to print on it, and then there's less listings and all that kind of stuff. So they are getting hit as we are getting hit, as everyone's getting hit, except the tiniest little papers. Yeah, it's... Yeah, the fucking Sierra Vista Herald still has the gonads

to be a subscription site. They tease you with an article. To read the rest of this paragraph, send us $29 a fucking month they're doing that with just the online version of the Alaska Dispatch the ADN up in Alaska and it's like $10 a month

to read online half of it's AP shit anyway which you know that's free I mean you can find it somewhere else because it's an AP story. Well, when we stayed up there that last, when Bingo got her all clear on brain function. In Tucson.

In Tucson, we stayed at the Arizona Inn. Give them a plug. And it was, they gave you the New York Times at your door every morning. So the Sunday Times, when we checked out, I brought it down to Tom. I was, it was five hours of joy. I was down in Old Bisbee. I hadn't had that in my hands in 20 years. It was fucking incredible to read.

I get the USA Today at the hotels I usually stay at. It's a fun read. Best sports section. You buy it just for the sports section during football, but everything else, you've already read, even if you didn't mean to, in a tweet. You already know what the fuck is going on,

and that's all it is, to read actual substance in a newspaper. Yeah, it was something. I went and found Tom. I go, oh, the truck's gone. He's got to be at Morning's Cafe, perfect timing, and I just delivered the Sunday New York Times to his breakfast and left. I just got done, exactly.

Eggs went in and paper descended. It was perfect. Thank you breakfast and left. I just got done. Exactly. Eggs went in and paper descended. It was perfect. Thank you, Douglas. Yeah, no, it was nice. Well, you brought me the Las Vegas Review Journal, which was always my favorite paper ever, back when people read newspapers. Someone said that.

I was in the fucking... It was very funny. You were there with me. Yeah. Because I was telling Tom, the Sierra Vista Herald has this one supplement page that is just AP from the,

or New York Times, and it's always something so incongruous to where we live, where it's this whole review of a new ballet that's playing in New York City. You're like, why do you, it's a whole page and

then the other page is something else that no one this new fucking you know whatever fucking thing on broadway and then they did one that was uh about uh because this is the year of uh celebrity death and it was about comics dealing with death, and it had Patton Oswalt, but one of the paragraphs was about digging up Mother. Yeah, it was actually a great little article. Yeah, but it's from the New York Times in that same page that doesn't belong in our paper.

The AP does a snowbird feed, which they probably send down here, so it would be stuff from New York or stuff from a snowbird location that they would send down to Arizona. So AP does a snowbird feed, which they probably send down here, so it'd be stuff from New York or stuff from a snowbird location that they would send down to Arizona. So we look at a place, but that's kind of what the wire is. But this is, that's Arizona, I understand.

This is the Sierra Vista Herald slash Bisbee review where Sierra Vista is just fucking military guys and their Vietnamese fucking wives. I think there's a lot of snowbirds out here. I mean, I...

Not New York City snowbirds. No. I can't believe I'm living behind a fucking Best Buy by the fucking Fort Huachuca, and I'm missing what off-Broadway play is... And so there I was bitching about it, What off-Broadway play is this? And so there I was bitching about it, and I was in it. And I stopped myself from telling the waitress,

hey, I'm in the paper. But that's when she came over. She goes, you're the only two, to me and Tom, she goes, you're the only two guys I ever see actually reading a paper in here and not looking at their phones. Everybody else is the phone first. I won't point it out then. Yeah, no.

Such a humble star you are, Douglas. Yeah, that was great. Humbled. Humbled. Humbled. That's another story. Shall we take a break and make a cocktail? Yeah, I need one.

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Williamstown, West Virginia, right here in Williamstown. Call us at 304-375-4140. That's 304-375-4140. Your future is just 18 wheels away. Tell them the Doug Stanhope Podcast sent you. Hey, this is Casey Kasem, and welcome back to America's Countdown of the Top 40 Fresh Ingredients. Oh, shit, I should have kept that. Give me that.

And take two. This is Casey Kasem. Welcome back to the American Top 40 Countdown of the Best Fresh Ingredient and Recipe Delivery Services in the Country. And coming in at number one. One, one, one. Blue Apron. And to tell us about Blue Apron today is our celebrity chef, Tom Konopka.

We got our first delivery of Blue Apron. The number one. What's one? Chaley, just give me the fucking bullet points. All right. So they sent us this mission statement. You will. Anyway, here's what Blue Apron does does they send you food so you can make a

nice dinner and they send you all this shit they have fresh ingredients and they have some the impact on the community statement that you guys don't give a shit about but uh so tonight for the first time since we have a an actual sponsor, Tom Konopka cooked a meal from Blue Apron, our first one. And we tried it, and it was fantastic. What did you cook? I cooked, actually, let's see. What did I eat? Seared chicken and mashed potatoes.

Yeah, what did you eat? You had seared chicken and mashed potatoes with kale, mushrooms, and verjus. V-E-R-J-U-S. J-U-S. What is that? We were talking about it last night. It was poured in. It's like a...

It's like a chardonnay. It's like a white wine type of thing. Yeah, so that that would simmer in it. And you liked... I loved it. I mean, literally, it was fantastic.

I skipped around the mushrooms, which are... Mushrooms are my favorite drug, and I don't do them because I hate them so much. Those will come with the furikake. They keep that for the very last one. But, yeah, it came. My concern when it came, because it was a package for this house and for yours as well, I'm thinking, well, it's perishable.

What's going to happen? When I brought it in, it could sit there for an entire day. You're not going to panic about it. Because I reached in and I felt, I said, oh, it's frozen, the chicken. No, it was the ice. It's like a gel pack. Yeah. Hennigan has had fresh seafood. Because we're in Bisbee.

We're in the middle of nowhere. So when it says one day delivery, it could be three here. Or it could sit on a dock somewhere waiting to be shipped. If it wasn't, look, I'd say it, but that was my concern. You could send it to the middle of the West Valley. Hennigan's got live seafood. Not too long. The fucking lobsters are dead and the clams are wide open.

But no, this came all intact. It was perfect. open, but no, this came all intact. It was perfect. It came with all the type of wrapping and this looked like solar NASA bubble. What they say is they send you every ingredient you need

and nothing more. And you can cook it in 40 minutes or less. And they're for two people? Yeah. The package we have is two meals in, or two plates in each meal, so it's six for the week. All right.

And we had eight people trying it. It was good. Yeah, you tried. Nothing but good reviews. No, it was really, really good. Everything you laid out. And you did it in basically 40 minutes. Yeah, the only five more minutes was me cleaning up garbage.

It was 40 minutes, so that was only five more minutes was me cleaning up garbage. It was 40 minutes. They don't include housekeeping in that. There's a number you call. They'll send someone out. Yeah, I work on commission with that. Well done, Tom. Hey, I'm glad you ate it. I knew cooking it,

if you two weren't going to eat it, I was going to finish both. So we were all happy. I'm looking at the thing that comes with, because next, allegedly, was going to finish both so we were all happy why i'm looking at the thing that comes with uh because next allegedly bingo is going to cook uh the fresh fettuccine meal with beet goat cheese and poppy seeds uh i've seen bingo put a frozen pizza into a microwave for four minutes and then eat it kind of soggy. And she called it what? An omelet motherfucker. An omelet motherfucker.

Get on the mic. It was bingo's line. She'll take a frozen chicken breast and just microwave it until it's bloated and rubbery and then eat it or not eat it or leave it in the microwave. So that's going to be a lot of fun. But I'm looking at the recipe card. It's like this is what you'd see if you walked by a restaurant

and you wanted to look at the menu. And they even have little factoids. It comes with this, two tablespoons of fromage blanc and then with an arrow did you know literally white cheese in french it's known for its creaminess so not only do they send you this beautiful dinner for two that you can make without having to go find the cumin they give you bullshit to talk to the date oh you're on yeah oh no i'm a cook yeah fuck yeah i cook like a fucking fuck yeah and you got panache yeah come to my fucking bachelor apartment yeah my sweetie pasta from marja blanc yeah yeah oh did you know

excuse me the white cheese after after 20 minutes of silence where you've roped this girl into some rape cauldron in a basement did you know that fromage blanc literally means creamy cheese fuck it gives you something to talk about. Hold on, I'll be right back. Yes. I know my fans don't date well or cook. Yeah. So, yeah, this is how you impress the chicks. That's right.

Flip it over, Doug. It's for flipping the sheet. And that's the step-by-step. Oh, that's... That's why I was doing this thing. I didn't know if you knew. That's how the date ends if it goes well. Thank you, Blue Apron.

Flip it over. You know what fromage blanc means? Lubricant. But the photographs are great. That helps. If anybody tries to cook something, you don't want it just to be just print text.

So this is what they do. You go to blueapron.com slash Stan Hope. Yes. You get three free meals. Three meals means six plates of food. I mean, each meal is for two people. You get that free just for trying it out. Yeah.

And they send all this shit fresh to your house. Your dad said there's no such thing as a free lunch. Well, I'll tell you what your dad also told you. Santa Claus was real. He told you that he loved your mother and there was no other woman in the world, but there was,

it was a secretary, not even his own secretary. It was some junior sales staff secretary. And he knocked her up and then fired them both. So, yeah, there is a free lunch. And fuck your father and all his false promises. There's three free lunches at blueapron.com slash Stanhope. And then where's the bullet points?

What else do we have to say? It was great. It's a good start. You've got to always finish on the first cocktail. You know how great it would be to have an empty kitchen? Like you just have a plate, I guess two plates, two forks, two spoons. Like an Ikea display. And then exactly what you need

to eat shows up at your door every night. And you never have to get ketchup or anything. Your fridge is just beer. This is it. This is the convenience. It is for two. So check out this week's menu and get first three meals

free with free shipping. Free shipping, too. You pick the day it arrives, like Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, are the arrival dates. And yeah, like Tom was saying, ours was packed the same as his. And I left it out. I left it in the kitchen all night. I didn't even put it in the freezer because I saw what was in yours.

And I knew it was going to last all day. I was really impressed. It's like one of those packs. There's two packs of ice. but it's like those things you use to put on a sports injury. I had the expired mayonnaise package. I left it in the sun for a week. It's delicious.

Cured. Put that on your furikake. And now to do this call to action that's a must-read. Who can do a whore voice the best? Oh, I'm not saying voices. Just one line. Can you do? Come on, Mish.

You can do phone sex. It's not implying anything. It's just one line. Please. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible homeooked meals with Blue Apron. So don't wait. You were talking into the mic. I know.

I can't see the red light from here. That's all right. That's by design. All right. Well, we're back. You smart, you. I had a fucking great segue. You can still do it.

Well, coming up in the next couple podcasts, at least the next podcast, will be more Alaska stories, which I'm going to have to... I have been taking a lot of notes for the book because like a bunch of eras, eras in my life. Eros. Fucking coots. Coots without me should write their own book and

have their own movie the history of coots so just writing this alaska chapter and now that lucre's here yes and all you alaska fucks are just reminding me of stuff. Just last night drinking with you guys, I'm like, fuck, I'll put that note in the book, note, note, note. And I woke up this morning going, I don't remember where I left off. And I see this fucking list of, oh, shit, that's a whole book. And how do you cut some of those stories? Because they're the best stories ever. Again, most of them that i won't tell

unless one of you is here to go i was there that's true the fucking here's a tease for the book the vacuum cleaner salesman oh it's like those don't exist yeah well they do if you're tripping and then we went a bridge too far with them because we were tripping, and then there was a vacuum cleaner salesman. Kirby, I believe, brand. Kirby door-to-door. I'll fact-check to make sure.

It wasn't rainbow. It was Kirby. I see. Fact-checked. There you go. It was Kirby. So, yeah. So those stories

I'm going to have to make a cheat sheet of stories you can't tell because I'm saving it for the book but then you'll tell stories I go oh fuck that's even better than the vacuum cleaner salesman I have like pipe bomb Barney as a note

that doesn't retell there's too much backstory yeah you had to be there but vacuum cleaner is the opposite where it tells well but it sounds like bullshit from the minute you say the words vac door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman shows up in the late morning after an all-night hard tripping into some fear and loathing shit. They ployed you with the pretty girl and gave you something else.

What's that? They ployed you with the pretty girl and gave you something else. We're going to have to go over that again when I have my computer out taking notes. We'll have more Alaska stories on the next podcast. In the meantime, we get championship conference championships. Bingo is fucking nailing it.

Oh, football. Hey, heads up, fucking betonline.ag where I bet. Heads up, fucking betonline.ag, where I bet. Since Bingo has gone post-coma 9-2 against the spread, and Tom, you know, anyone on the fucking football channel, oh, I think the Patriots will beat the Jaguars. That's my lock of the week. Well, that's not against the spread.

You're not talking about the 16-point differential. Bingo's 9-2 against the spread. I give her one game every week, usually whatever the marquee matchup is. And now we have a potential sponsor in someone that's not my betonline.ag at Dave Mason. And then I think there's something else that goes with the Dave Mason. Anyway, I'm fucking telling you, I'm going to jump ship. I'll jump ship. Your non-money is as good as theirs.

That's the problem. Betting offshore on these websites is, it's such a pain in the ass to get money back into your account. Like, you've got to put it on your Visa card, and then Visa declines it, and then you have to call them and go, no, it's, we don't do gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, it's not gambling. It's an investment.

And then, oh, it's this fucking song and dance because so you don't take your money out yeah they just keep your fucking money because you'll just keep playing yeah fuck it's a pain in the ass i'll just uh i'll bet the over under the over under on a polo fucking the last one sportsbook.com i tried to take money out and then it was another rigmarole to get the money out of them. You fucking tight-fisted, sitting in fucking Roatan, Honduras. I remember when we were in Costa Rica, the first time I went with Becker and his wife. And he's a Raiders fan, and I was a Patriots fan. I jumped ship two underdogs.

I'm the anti-bandwagon guy, but I grew up in New England, and so it was his team against my team in that snowball, the playoff game, and we're sitting there in what's called a casino in Costa Rica, and they had a sports book they had a guy at a small podium sitting there slouched over like fergie you look like fergie our old boss and telemarketing and you just and he was betting online on his own computer who is the sports book i remember betting the under because of the snow it's not gonna be a lot of points and uh yeah i beat becker on a bad call and the patriots i

believe went on to win their first super bowl wow that i watched at tommy rockers there you go tommy rockers so super bowl oh fuck how did that segue i was going into super bowl you're good you accidents happen super bowl i i get emails still hey that super bowl party you have you know what it's uh no i can hear it coming. Hang on. Here's Bingo. Hey, Bingo, you're on speakerphone just as I was about to explain Super Bowl party. What do... I was wondering if you were coming home, baby.

What about Super Bowl party? Yeah, I was telling the listeners that emailed me about, hey, we want to come to your Super Bowl party. Yeah, I was telling the listeners that emailed me about, hey, we want to come to your Super Bowl party. What should we... Not if we don't know you. But what if we do know him and don't really want him still?

We shouldn't have a Super Bowl party this year. All right. Let's play out somewhere else. Let's go somewhere else. That's it. You heard it from Bingo. Fly somewhere else, says Bingo.

Hey, I'll call you back. We're going to close this podcast up. I'll call you back. Okay, bye, baby. Bye. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be low-key this year. Yeah, you got to self-explanatory now.

Yeah, there's no open Super Bowl party. So, you know, some guy emailed me today. I just told Tom the story. Hey, if you still have that Super Bowl party, I'd like to offer my services free of charge. Well, there's two. The first one was a guy that, and I appreciate the offer, but a guy says, I'm from Bend, Oregon,

and if you want someone to cook, I have a smoker and a truck, and I'll bring it down there, and I can do brisket on Saturday and something else on Sunday. I'm not a legitimate caterer. So sides, maybe I could do a bacon mashed potato but

all you'd have to do is pay for my gas and... What? Well, if I wanted someone to cater it, I wouldn't have to pay for someone to drive like 3 000 miles round trip to maybe be able to do a brisket for 50 and i i'm guessing on the sides i'd get someone local we've got jet lacy yes there you go it was very nice that you offer i know i'm a fucking cocksucker for but the other guy was he was gonna do a body painting

oh he's gonna offer up his services to come down to body paint naked ladies and uh he included like seven photographs of hot chicks that were painted. And, oh, it's a tuxedo. It looks like she's wearing shorts, but she's not. So I said, so wait, you're offering me. All I have to do is give you a party and offer up hot naked women. And in return, you will paint them. I would feel like I was taking advantage of you for you to be so generous. How are you at painting the 60 plus year old obese men that will be populating this?

Any sample photos of those? Is your paint reactive with colostomy bags? Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you said that. Even like Arizona, like all our comic friends, take this year off.

Tucson guys, we love you, but yeah, we're trying to keep it low-key. Bingo and I even got an Airbnb because this is the Doc Mark. Oh, I have it here. Doc Mark presents the Doc Mark Super Bowl party starring Doc Mark. That's it.

And he's the guy that's a million people were involved, but the key player and the reason that bingo is not still in a brain rehab facility was the due diligence of a doctor friend of ours. That's a, I've even let stab me with a knife when I was under. So yeah, this is a, this is going to be a low key event.

Yeah. Hopefully bingo shows up. Oh, super bowl. Yeah. Not good with crowds still. Yeah, not good with crowds still. Yeah. Not good with social shit.

She should just do the walkthrough like we do with Uphill Dave. Hi, how you doing? Great, fantastic. Where you been? Great, fantastic. Where did they go? We just out the door. That's what she's been doing.

Hi, I know I'm doing great. Voice is still fucked. We'll figure that out after this. She sounded even better on the phone right then the clarity i don't know that's not a yeah i think that was at&t's well no it's at this hour this is after the siraquil oh that yeah you have to that's the fucking strongest downer i've ever done once. I never did it again. Wow. So she's still doing that to sleep.

That bandage is off. It looks great. I anticipated it looking something. It's nothing. It's non-consequential. Yeah. In her eyes. It's a cool scar. Yeah.

Exactly. It's the voice. The voice is the problem. She sings. Yeah, I understand. I understand. I understand. So as part of her speech therapy, she's trying to sing songs. That is a great idea.

And, well, no, it just reinforces in her head that she can't sing. And then she goes, meh, the mug, meh, sad face. I don't want to go out. I don't want to have to talk to anyone. Hey, Jimmy's Hot Dogs, stop by for that spaghetti special. Tom Konopka ate my leftovers because it's always too much. Thank you. You left a card for bingo, and she didn't want to go in.

They gave me a card. I don't want to have to talk to them. So, yeah, that's how she says thank you. You don't want to go in. Avoid him. Yeah. That was good. Very good.

Give it to Tommy Gavone, the sausage and the meatballs. It's on Wednesdays. It was great. It really was good. They have baked potatoes, which we only have two football Sundays left, championships and then a week off and then Super Bowl. And they do all these baked potatoes. And I always thought that's an easy food to put out that stays hot

is do a baked potato bar. It's filling, and you just put out a bunch of fixings. And then I go, fuck, they do baked potatoes. I could get the baked potatoes from them because I don't want to wrap the fucking things up. Oh, shit. Bingo's mom, do we take it on the podcast? Absolutely.

We love Bingo's mom. She's a sweetheart. Hey, Bingo's mom, you're on the podcast. Oh, well, then I might say goodbye. Mom, we love you. If you say something inappropriate or cuss like I've heard you cuss back in the dark days of Bingo's coma, you said a lot of inappropriate words when you were upset about certain issues.

But, yeah. How are you? Well, I'm good. I just was trying to get all to Amy, but she's probably there with you. No, she just called on the podcast minutes ago. She just probably doesn't want to answer the phone. But I want to say thank you. You traded me a car for a Vitamix.

I got the better end of the deal. Yeah. The starter costs more than the Vitamix if it makes you comfortable. I love my Vitamix. Don't say it too many times. They're not a sponsor yet. You're going to tease them. Well, listen, I will let you go.

I'll call you back in. Go ahead. Okay, for everybody that's there at the podcast, tell them that hello, or I'll just say hello to everybody. Hello. Hello. Yes, Ben goes at home. She's doing great.

I'll catch you up on everything, and I'm just going to close up this podcast right now. Anyway. Okay. All right. Call you right back. Thank you for listening. Don't forget Gretchen Bear.

Gretchen at GretchenBear. B-A-E-R dot com. Or just Google her. Yeah. Or just send a check. She's doing weird shit to fuck with trump on the border wall yeah or just to fuck with the border itself they shouldn't exist presidents shouldn't exist you shouldn't be that upset about who's the president you should be going i don't need a

president in my life i shouldn't be voting for anyone but myself yeah that would be progress uh so gretchenbear.com tom kanopka blue apron our today's celebrity chef tom kanopka wolfgang puke chad shank will return you better i'm running out of stories i have no more stories pal the podcast The podcast is Stan Hope, Shaylee, and Shank. That doesn't change. Get back here soon, please. Yes. Well, I was afraid after last time. After the death, meth, and vomit podcast, I go,

I don't know. He's fine. No, he's doing all right. He's still not in the mood to come over, but Shaylee fucked it up. He said last night, he said, hey, you want to come over? And chaley fucked it up he said last night my fault he said uh hey uh you want to come over and chad won what time and then chaley didn't remember till today no i it's worse than that i went back i said hey i'll come get you and then he texted me back hey uh yeah that's great uh what time and i didn't see that one so i not only didn't tell him what time

i also didn't pick him up like i said i was gonna pick him up so i felt bad so uh yeah when you hear this podcast uh just tweet at hd fatty sorry chaley fucked you over we miss you very much we all do you know yeah or make up your own thing. Greg Chaley, coming up. Hey, Tracy, bartending, Loker will be on the next podcast.

I don't know. I got to go call Bingo's mother back. Until next time, play the, what about Mishka Shabali? We've been fucking him over. That was two podcasts ago. All right. So who was the last?

I was just thinking, we're on the eve of the inaugural uh just display you could do party time well we could do party time or or you could do uh uh black dick by bird cloud is that the name of the song black guys black guys all right black dick whatever that was that was their closure of the first gretchen's here ogling the unseen blue eyes of a fucking border patrolman. She fucks a brown-eyed man. Play whatever you want, Chaley. We'll talk to you soon.

I'm marching my big old pussy in the historical Mississippi Hoping that General Jackson don't run me down Them young men on their jet skis, I sure hope that they see me Washing my big old pussy before I go to town Them alligators in the Delta, I'm certain that they smell just washing your big old pussy before you go to town. Pollution from the factories and acid from car batteries, that's the smell of my big old pussy should you want to go down. you want to go down I'm

washing my big old pussy in the historical Mississippi hoping the General Jackson don't run me down Him young men on their jet skis I sure hope that they see me washing my big old pussy

before I go to town Worshin' my big ol' pussy should you wanna go down