The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #195: Super Bowl Weekend Clusterfuck Podcast pt.02 - Director Greg Olliver & Morgan Murphy

Episode Date: February 14, 2017

The clusterfuck podcast continues with director Greg Olliver (Lemmy, Devoured) and comic Morgan Murphy.Recorded Feb. 03, 2017 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Director Greg Olliver (@GregOlliver), Morgan Murphy (@Morgan_Murphy), Tom Konopka (@realTomKonopka), Chad Shank (@HDFatty), Brett Erickson (@iBrettmypants), Mat Becker (@Houdini357), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.From Doug Stanhope's dvd BEER HALL PUTSCH, "The Lady and the Champ" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJf-20q8Xxg (Available here - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/beer-hall-putsch-dvd).Closing song, "I Can't Stand Up (I'm Fine)", by Birdcloud. Available on iTunes.LINKS:- Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/- Tio Ceddy's Aqua Chiltepin - http://www.tioceddy.com/- Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.com/storeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Chad, use your booming voice. Hey, we're rolling with the podcast, everybody. It's official. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. No one cares. All right. Again, this is going to switch in, switch out.

I know. I had some thank yous I should have said. Someone sent a box full of shit with a squishy bottle that's great for smuggling booze on airplanes. Or cruise ships. They gave you envelopes. We haven't opened them. Gretchen, $20. The guy knows who he is.

Thank you. There's shit everywhere. Everyone gets $20. That's Marty. Yay! I want to say thank you to Marty Shalders for my Sure Microphone t-shirt. Yeah, Marty. Oh, hey, Tom Kanopka has some thank yous.

Let's get this out of the way. Two quick ones. Mike Coughlin. Mike Coughlin, you rock, brother. Let me see. Seth Brashears. Check this out, kiddies. He gave me the Kanopka kitchen.

I got a nice oven mitt. Good man. An oven mitt that says Kanopka's kitchen. He spelled it right. And it's blue for Blue Apron. Hey, my man. You know, Tom, like, did you tweet him? Did you tweet Blue Apron?

Or did you email him? Yeah, no, I emailed him. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, I don't want nothing for this. I'm just saying. I don't want nothing. I'm I'm just saying I'm a fan. You guys make this

real simple. It was very nice. They replied. It was very good. I got the check this morning. Thank you. Hey, we're doing a podcast here. Jesus Christ. James. doing a podcast here.

Jesus Christ. James. Chad Shank needs a truck that's reliable, cheap, and that he doesn't have to come back to you with fucking problems about. All right. Why are you talking to me?

Forget about it. We should do a GoFundMe for fucking Chad Shank's truck. Be careful because once you open that Pandora's box. Yeah, just send him money. Let's just change the subject. I'll fix my fucking truck. Fucking head gasket. A hundred grand comes in in two weeks.

I got a fucking racket going. All right. Don't worry about me. Yeah, we saw with the pole. I didn't get a truck, but I got four houses in El Frida. You lived before you met Doug. Yeah. Hang on.

All right, here's who's on and not on or will be on the podcast. Greg Chaley, Chad Shank, Brett Erickson, Morgan Murphy. Morgan Murphy. Yeah. I've never been on your podcast. Star power. What? Have I?

I thought, really? We didn't do podcasts when we were? One time, maybe. Maybe. No. Yeah. With Jazz on the Neck. You guys were like kind of, it was weird.

That was a porn and eggs morning. Yeah, it was the first morning after the night before. Oh, yeah, that was... Yeah, everyone was fucked. I don't know why I remember that. Becker, come over here. Get on mic with me. We'll share a mic.

Matt Becker's here. Yes. Tom Konopka's here and Matt Becker's here. My God, the great Matt Becker. I don't think you can do the fundraising for the truck, but you can't do frivolous things anymore for GoFundMe. Because it's all sick people, right? Exactly.

You can't say, hey, I need a truck more than that person needs. Well, I think you can, but it's called being a fucking asshole. That's why I said stop. I didn't mean, you know what, I should stop branding GoFundMe. I meant just send Chad Shank money. Don't give some website a cut. GoFundMe has become a give-me-money brand name. It's a Kleenex or a Xerox.

I was going with Kleenex. Q-tip. Everybody loves. Or kidney disease. Where you just, I guess I got to give you something. For at least another two months. I have a terrible laugh for podcast radio stuff. By the way, I'm just putting that out there so people don't go like,

why doesn't she know that? I do know that. The last podcast we did with Gabe, who is soft-spoken as well. I implored him to yell as loud as we are, but now we're going to have to take it down to

Morgan Murphy level. That's right. You were right about that laugh. To Morgan Murphy level. Yes. That's right. And not shout over. You were right about that laugh. Yeah, yeah. Let's go back to normal laugh level. Morgan Murphy, we put you up at an Airbnb for tonight. You have your own for tomorrow night.

But you left during the podcast to go powder up? No, I went to shower. I went to get my camera. Oh, yeah. You get a little tiny Polaroid. Look at it. Becky Becker's got it right there. That's what we need on tour, Doug.

So we get rid of the selfies. Is it made by Polaroid? That's a new Leica Polaroid camera. Oh, no, not Polaroid. It's a Polaroid, but it's a lotica Polaroid camera. Oh, no, not Polaroid. It's a Polaroid, but it's a lot tinier and costs more. Yeah. Of course. I don't know why they have what they're making.

I'm just trying to get rid of the selfie thing at the merch booth. It's not going to happen. It's like the only thing I still collect are Polaroid cameras. Anytime a new one comes out, it's my one thing I do. You get $5 for a cardboard camera? All right, we're going to have to fucking... All the causes going on in the world and Shaylee wants to ban selfies.

You could do a GoFundMe for selfies. See, here we go. I want to build a wall around the merch booth. There's too many pigs for the teats on this podcast. Pigs and teats. You want me back? Alright, but no, Gabe, we don't want you back.

Gabe was on the last podcast you might remember from three days ago or for us, 30 minutes ago. If you started listening to it three days ago, you might almost be finished. Hi-oh! Shaylee cleaned it up.

So the segue was. That was not me or Chad. Hang on. The segue was that Morgan Murphy, her first kiss was from an NFL player? From a guy who would become an NFL player. My middle school, my first boyfriend. Can you drop a name? Because I read fucking Amy Schumer's book,

and she didn't drop names where you needed one to make the story fucking complete. Yeah, there's nothing salacious really about it. So yeah, Travis Johnson is his name. He's a lineman, big guy. Are you sure it wasn't Emmett Smith? That would tie into the other podcast. I moved away from the microphone so Erickson could tell you he knew who it was.

I don't know who that is. He was like, we were the two kind of athletes of the middle school. It was like before the football player dated the cheerleader. It was when the football player dated the basketball player. That's when you start making trying to make an experience race. Basketball. I saw those pretty pictures. But yeah,

he was, but we still stay in touch. He's amazing. I was like, his wife and him came to my show in Houston for their nine year anniversary. How cool is that?

Must have been a hell of a kiss. I still never, you know, you don't forget it. Yeah, it was a hell of a kiss I still never you know you don't forget it it was a hell of a kiss it was great planned like a we're gonna kiss

after school on Thursday one of those things so I just I fucking lost my train of thought so much right then that's why we have the Polaroid you took his breath away do you know what I said Doug looked like? so much right then. That's why we have the Polaroid. You took his breath away. Do you know what I said Doug looked like? Go ahead.

Steve Bannon's hotter brother. Whoa! That's the best compliment Doug's ever gotten. Honestly, I have... Because I've been writing every day and every second is consumed with either panicking about not being writing or writing.

I just have peripheral vision of what's on the news. I'll click on newser and see the headline. I don't know what the Bannon thing is. I know it's trending on Twitter when I go to check my tweets to stop writing. And I get to get back to writing. I don't even know he's evil. You don't know what he looks like, though? I don't know what I look like.

Do you see a lot of mirrors in my house? We can take a tour. What, are you just rubbing it in? Just leave it. It was fun. He still thinks it's a good thing. It's not like he crush me where I go really I'm unattractive

no you're more attractive than unattractive that was the point wow are you coming on to me so uh yeah this is getting a bit out of control I want to get I want to get Greg in here because I have a story with Greg. Tomorrow, we're filming a documentary for Jack Daniels.

Wow. Yes. Tom, give up your bike sorry get over here so I can make eye contact here I am Greg was here

Greg he did Lemmy was that the name of the documentary yeah really wow yeah

that was great by the way thank you Ace Really? Wow. That was great, by the way. Thank you. Ace of Spades. And he also, it was right around New Year's, so he told us what happened. He came here, and he was doing a documentary on Jake LaMotta and his marriage to Denise, our neighbors. And Jake was here.

We were having a poker game, and you were filming it. And Jake progressively trembled more and had to be covered with more blankets. And then we put a heater on him, and it just kept getting worse. And it's hot for everyone else. This is not just he's cold. We're sweating in the winter. You put the space heater right next to him, right?

We were worried about the blanket catching on fire. It was right next to him. We were worried. The blanket was almost smoking. Well, it was a child blanket, so it would go up quicker. So at some point, the guy that drove him here i'm going danny you know danny man he's a neighbor that he up the road he's like uh what's his name from uh apocalypse now dennis hopper yeah you can't just meet them champ man

so this guy but they're so into the poker game and I'm like, is he okay? Shouldn't someone call Denise? All right, one more hand, man. He did,

he talked like that the whole, I drove him up to his house. He talked like that the whole way. Jake wasn't even in the car. It's like, you could drop that, dude. You don't have to.

Yeah, but the thing was, Jake LaMotta was all in in this poker guy, no one called. No one would ever. He was the emperor that wore no clothes, where they'd go, champ, you got nothing in your

hand, man. Why do you keep raising? You're holding the cards backwards. Not working. Meanwhile, he's in a feverish fucking state. The only thing keeping him from, he's in a feverish fucking state. The only thing keeping him from bursting into flame is fucking flame retardant blanket. The show must go on.

I wasn't going to say anything because I was filming. I was going to make the best ending to a scene ever if he caught fire. Becker and I, old story, but when we first started going out on the road, triple gigs in Montana, Becker would scam these camcorders on a 30-day

no questions asked guarantee. And he'd return them 29 days later. And we realized how hard it is. What's the problem with it? He'd go, you said no questions. There's a big sign. Sir, don't buy that TV. That's a big bait and switch. They asked me a question.

Remember the guy goes, just stop. I'll just give you your money, okay? Sir, sir. So we would film going through Yellowstone and shit, and the rule was, if one of us gets attacked by a bear,

don't stop filming. That's right. That's what I do, man. That's such a good rule to have with friends. Greg, this is camcorder days. You had to set this monster on your shoulder. He had a small camera, but he knew, hey, if the champ might pass away

with the thrill of a full house that beats a small straight, he's going to get it. He knows the rules. So you're filming that. And then the champ, well, yeah, there was something wrong with him. He got rushed to the emergency room

with pneumonia at 93 years old. Canceled the wedding that Greg is here to film for the documentary. And so we just hung out for a couple days. We were literally out in the street and we got covered with gravel dust from Denise peeling out in the driveway. She yelled at me. She looked at me like it was my fault,

because I was filming, and she had to bring Jake here. That's how I met you. I didn't even know where the fuck we were going. She said, we're going to play cards with this comedian, Stan Hope. I'm like, okay. And we came here, and then you were like, what the hell are you doing here with the camera? I'm like, I'm with the champ, man.

You're like, okay. That's how we met. Wow. And then like 20 minutes like, okay. That's how we met. Wow. And then like 20 minutes later, we think he's dying. Denise picks him up. Which he was. And she peels out in the front of your driveway, and we're just standing there next to you, and that's how we met.

And you're like, you want to get a drink? I was like, yeah, man, I need a drink. We thanked Jake LaMotta for that. I can't imagine me saying that. Should we get a drink? so then you're stuck here for a couple more days three more days in Bisbee with no subject to film who who

but we hung out and he gave me his documentary that he did Lemmy about Lemmy I can't pronounce his Kilmister that's close enough and we're picking death pool picks. And we watched it. And fucking Lemmy's just still.

He was probably 63 years old or something. I think 65 or 67. Something like that. Doing speed. Well, he died at 70, but he was doing speed for like 50 years. That's why I said don't put him in the pool. Day drinking. Yeah.

And playing. And fucking touring. Touring, which is the worst. And fucking killing it. I probably fast forwarded through the playing because I fucking hate that. Remember that thing he was famous for? No, the traveling that was probably worse than the speed. I would bet like traveling is way worse than like doing speed and drinking.

Well, the traveling made him do the speed. Right. Yeah. It was way worse than doing speed and drinking chocolate. Well, the traveling made him do the speed. Right. But I didn't know, watching the documentary, once again, fantastic. Thank you. He started as a roadie. And it's just so right place, right time. For Jimi Hendrix. Yeah.

He was Jimi's roadie. Oh, shit. Yeah. For like three or four months, he roadied for Hendrix, which is pretty cool to say that you did that. He saw the Beatles before they had a record label. He was inside on all this shit that he never said it until your fucking documentary.

I mean, I followed some of this stuff, but what the fuck? Right? Hendrix? You should have a T-shirt that says, I roadied forendrix for one day but see here's the thing and this is why i like believe in drugs and not sleeping because quite frankly once you go through all that you go what's gonna happen next i thought you were going another way where drugs are times i remember. When I was just drunk, fuck, yeah, it seems maybe familiar.

But yeah, if I was fucking doing meth, I'd remember no matter how drunk I was. Clearly from the last couple of podcasts where you've been repeating yourself, you don't remember. Exactly. Exactly. So yeah, again, writing a book, when you read I read rock and roll guys books, I don't give a fuck about the music I hate it generally, but people who have good stories, rock and

roll guys, that's the book I want to replicate, I just forget most of my stories but those guys are like, how would you remember this? Oh, you were doing a lot of drugs, I was just drunk most of the time yeah you fucking do a few lines on top of that there's some clarity what was uh so lemmy what was he like he was like exactly like you saw him in the film man i just i

thought he i don't remember the film i remember i I watched it. Hold on. How long, like when you started shooting until you stopped shooting? Three years. Okay, so you were in his life for three years. Not every day, but yeah, whenever we could afford it, we'd go hang out with him in his hotel, on the road, whatever. We definitely embedded ourselves with Motorhead and lived a life. I had hair down to my back. My wife said I looked disgusting. I had long, greasy

hair. The only person that said I looked good was Lemmy. And that's all that matters. I'm going to keep growing. And then when I cut it, then I cut it from shoulder length to what I have now, which is short. He goes, you look fucking terrible, Greg. And I'm like, thanks, man. He goes, no, it looks like someone took a dull

rusty axe and cut your hair. You look like shit. I go, thanks, man. He goes, no, you look like shit i go thanks man he goes no you look like shit i go stop saying that dude he goes no he was like so bummed that i cut my hair but here i'm back with short hair it was weird you get you you turn into one of them when you spend that much time with somebody like motorhead my favorite part of that documentary and finding out because i knew some of the stuff about it not the hendrick stuff but i knew stuff about Lemmy. But his fucking fascination with short, short fucking cutoffs. Black pussy.

And like how like, oh, this is how you know you're wearing them so that your legs are cool in the air. Like his, you know, just like. I totally remember that now that you're saying that. Fucking cracked up because he's basically wearing like, yeah, like a Nair commercial from the fucking 80s. Daisy Dukes, man. Daisy Dukes. Daisy Dukes.

Your balls are peeking out on the fringe. Danny Dukes. Let me do it. My balls would be hanging. His balls would be peeking. He actually got really mad that we put that in the film. It was the most humanizing part of the whole thing to me. But he got mad.

He yelled at me and he said, where did you get that photo? He goes, you betrayed me. You looked through my personal photos and found that photo and put it in the film. I'm like, no, dude, you got to look on the internet. It's everywhere already. I found it on Google. He goes, the internet is evil. I don't look there.

I'm like, all right, man. Well, you're on there. And you're wearing fucking Daisy Dudes, dude. I just cut and paste it and put it in the movie, man. I figured Lemmy would say the inter-what. Yeah, but he was like, I don't look at the internet. This is awesome. So we're picking Death Pool at that time.

It was the end of the year. And we watched the documentary and go oh this guy's a shoo-in this is before we knew how to do research on pancreatic cancer and fucking foreign ex-heads of parliament from Malaysia and all this boring shit we do now

so and he goes no fucking don't pick Lemmy he's gonna be around. And that was at least four or five years ago. And you were right. But the second year, fuck that Greg guy. He's going to die.

And I put him in. He didn't die. So I go, that Greg guy's all right. But you were also motherfucked by the people that you're supposed to. Jake and Denise. You saved my ass because he's doing this documentary of Jake LaMotta, our neighbor. I would say our friend, but he wouldn't recognize me or a bathroom. They're very similar in his defense.

He's not a bad person. He's just of a certain age and got hit in the head a lot of times that you go, how are you of a certain age? Getting hit in the head that many times. And I was doing the bit from, if you don't know the bit, then fuck you, you're not a fan. The bit about the stage play they did here in town and then i go to new york where you live and uh you give me a heads up because uh denise has called me and say hey uh we want to come to this show and then i ignore it because i'm doing a bit about you. That's not a real shiny, positive feature.

And Greg calls me up. He goes, hey, Denise has been bothering me about coming to your show and if I could get him tickets because it sold out. And however. Well, I texted you because I didn't know you that well. And you're who you are. So I texted you and be polite. Like, hey, man, I was going to come to the show,

and Jake and Denise want to go. And all of a sudden, Doug calls me on the phone. He goes, hey, are you alone? I go, what do you mean? He goes, are you with them right now? I'm like, no. He goes, okay, just keep this to yourself. You cannot let them come to the show.

You can come by yourself. Do not let them come to the show. Can you do that? I was like, yeah, I can do that. He's like, all right, I'll see you at the show. You're on the list, but they cannot come. That was it. And so then I was like, this is awesome, man.

And I went to the show. I knew I had to do that bit. It was an integral bit. My whole set was, I was getting ready to tape it. And if they showed up, I'd have to do it in front of them. He wouldn't notice. If they showed up, I'd have to do it in front of them. He wouldn't notice, but she... Were you nervous up until you went on stage

that you're scanning the crowd? I'm sure I was. I could have not been... Manic. It would have been great if during your set, he stood up in the audience and said, I fought Sugar Ray so many times. I fought Sugar Ray so many times.

Well, that bit was where I talk about him. I fought Sugar Ray so many times. After the bit was out on a special, he went on Opie and Anthony at the time. I was there. I filmed that. I had that on camera. You had that on camera? Doug, isn't it Beer Hall Putsch?

It's Beer Hall Putsch. On sale right now at DougStanhope.com. Was it Beer Hall Putsch? It came up on Google. Either way, he was on Opie and Anthony and he did the joke in 26 minutes three or four times. And let's say three.

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt in his age that it was only three times he repeated the joke, and the third time he said, did I already do that one? By the way, my Jake LaMotta impression is exactly the same as my bingo impression. That's how she's talking right now. I remember listening to that when he kept repeating it, and it only made your bit fucking that much more hilarious in my head.

I was rolling the fucking floor. The third time he goes, did I already do that one? And Jim Norton goes, don't worry, champ, it's funnier every time. And then I started getting the emails and tweets and the, holy shit, you weren't exaggerating. No, I under-exaggerated

how fucked up that scene was. Jumbo shrimp. Greg, how did you get him? Greg, how did you get involved with the whole Jake LaMotta thing? I was like, just my films randomly come about where I meet somebody and they're like, hey, you should make a film on this. And then it happens. And I was at a Joan Jett concert and some dude said, hey, I represent Jake LaMotta.

You want to make a documentary on him? I'm like, sure. The next thing you know, I'm wasting my own money following Jake LaMotta and Denise around. Hold on a second. I represent Jake LaMotta. I represent. I represent. I represent Jake LaMotta.

Hey, man. Only Danny, man. I'm the only man that represents the champ, man. I brought him to poker, man. I remember that Opie and Anthony show when that was happening. I brought him to poker, man. I remember that Opie and Anthony show when that was happening, I was filming, and Patton Oswalt was there.

He wasn't really talking, but he was sitting there. And I was just getting so, like, it was stressful to film that and see this, like, spiraling of the same. I have him saying that joke about Sugar Ray probably, like, 50 times on camera over the course of, like, eight months. I'm like, and he never remembered who I was

and Denise wouldn't tell him who I was. I was starting to hate the fact that Denise wouldn't tell him who the fuck I was. He's like, who is this fucking guy? He said, is this the fucking cab driver? He said one time about me. I'm like, dude, tell him who I am. And so I was like having this horrible experience

and I like made eye contact with Patton Oswalt and he just like, I saw that he felt sorry for me. And I felt really... This is like the beginning of the end of that project because I saw him look at me and I felt like this really sad, stressed out, sweaty, dumbass with a video camera

that was running around behind Jake LaMotta and then within weeks I was fucking out of there. And I thank Patton Oswalt for looking at me like, what the fuck are you doing, man? Dude, no way you're getting paid. He just looked at me and I was like, he's right, what am I doing here? Jake LaMotta looks right at you and goes,

why'd you cut your hair? It looks like shit. Now I want to ask, because you said you spent your own money. I did, like an idiot. But the Lemmy, you spent three years, and as is known or assumed in show business, documentaries don't make money. assumed in show business, documentaries don't make money. So if you spent three years with Lemmy, did you make any money or was that a work of passion?

It was a work of passion for three years. It was literally, label helped out in the beginning, but then it turned into family and friends. And it was our credit cards, my partner's credit card to stay on the road with Motorhead. We almost quit every six months. We were like, fuck this. This is never going to work. And then we started feeling like we had a film

and Lemmy was like, come on guys, we can do this. He's like, I'll loan you money. What do you need, like 500 bucks? He said that. He knew we were out of money. I'm like, no, we need like $50,000, dude. He's like, what? He doesn't have the internet. No, he doesn't know what it costs.

Celebritynetworth.com. Yeah. But no, we kept going and going and borrowing money. And then we never made any money while we were shooting it. Because I was paying my rent shooting hotel videos for Sheraton. It was fucking horrible. Oh, I see. So I had other means of-

You had a day job. Yeah, I was paying my rent with a day job. Literally shooting- I don't know what's wrong with a Sheraton. I don't know why you have to- No, I was shooting bath product. Oh, okay. I was in their hotel room shooting like shampoo bottles yeah literally the next day

flying to ozzy osbourne's house to interview him and then go back to a sheraton hotel to get the conditioner i think i i think never very i think i think both of those things sound fun it was fine it was fine it was a good life but then in the end we sold it and it made a lot of profit for everybody that put money so it was a it worked out go ahead i was gonna say uh like at what point did the family and friends think that this was something it's like what were they seeing dailies and work like no it's like a sad it's a sad thing that you like keep going back and like listen this is gonna work out and it's like this weird thing that you have to do as a filmmaker to thank people for money like I swear

it's gonna get there did you promise things like if you donate this much you get a title or you get like a fun a fun tote we did paperwork where they got like money back

they got their money build a wall they got their money back that's kickstarter they doubled their money so a Lemmy documentary turned out to be

a profitable documentary but that's hard to do I always wondered about that with the aristocrats yeah and i i don't remember the details but the fact that oh no documentaries don't make any money i um i would say that bullshit not now with with the way that you can actually put things out there hey listen let me to industry Lemmy 2. You're internet savvy enough. You've seen enough documentaries. We all watch them.

We all talk about them. Making a murderer made somebody money. You guys blindly saw the Lemmy that he did. Both of you guys saw that documentary where I just had it on my shelf after I watched it for a million years going, I should probably drop that in the thrift store.

I watched it. No one else I know watches fucking death metal. But that's the whole thing. It's about an icon. Didn't they say something about Lemmy? He will be here longer than cockroaches? Yeah, that's a good soundbite in the movie. It's like one of those things.

It's like he is a fascinating guy that even if you weren't into that music, you knew who he was. And everything that he did after the 80s was like, this guy's still doing shit? And relevant, like things that people shouldn't be connected with him, they're doing things, and it's good. And that is one of the things. I learned a lot from the documentary that I didn't know

and I was a fan. But he's doing all of that while day drinking and playing Mega Touch at the fucking Rainbow all day long in the Chevy machine. Like, holy fuck. This is a hero. Two player game, two quarters.

On a related note, do these Sheraton commercials need voiceover? They do. They do need it, especially the conditioner portion of them. Try that again. Clear your throat and try that again. Try that one more time.

I was waiting for a dull moment. It's hard to find on this podcast. We're trying to sell more rooms to people who love trucks. If you could rough it up. Oh, she's busted your balls. That's your... You found your girl.

I did. Oh, no, he did. He did. Leave the light on. I want witnesses. I'm not scared very often, but i feel scared right now are we coming up we don't have alternative uh hotel mottos leave the light on we want witnesses all right i got it uh so so you have the falling out after the champ has pneumonia and the wedding's canceled. You go back to New York.

Is it done then? No, I like follow them around, try to film. They did one of their shows, like the theater show that you saw that you were talking about. They did that in New York, and it was the most awkward thing I've been part of. And they had like this champ robe, like the leopard skin or whatever tiger skin robe that they tried to auction off in front of 30 people in this theater and denise got up and and no one bid on it and she got really mad at the audience i'm like wow this is just like we're dying here but i filmed it i kept rolling camera i was like looking away but rolling camera like don't look that's a tough spot maybe we should go

get the people cover a lion king. I have to capture it. I don't have to see it. Yeah, but it just felt like one of those films that I was like, no one's going to want to see this. I'm just going to let this go. So I just... It was taking too long.

Jagged Coke. There you go. Sorry. That's a segue eventually, but I want to... But it felt like the Lemmy thing felt like we knew we were going to get a good film out of it,

so it's worth the energy and the money and begging people. Jake felt like it was not going to be a good film, and it was really rough doing it. And he just told me the Sugar Ray Leonard joke so many times on camera where I'm like, I'm just getting the same stuff. So I was like, I've got to pull the plug out. Unless you're making a piece mocking him. No, I could have done an amazing mock piece. You could have done the aristocrats

with him doing the joke 50 fucking times. I know. The pissed your pantsocrats. Yeah. I just folded

my cards and called it a day. Surely you can make a mockumentary after somebody dies. I mean, this is close to being made. They both have to die.

They're our neighbors. You mean Lake Jamada? I said Lake Jamada. But she was really angry towards you. She got angry because it was taking so long, and they sold their apartment in Manhattan and then moved here, I guess, right? No, they've always had a place here.

I guess she's from here. I don't know. She's seen the bit I've done about her and we're good. She understands. Hey, you know what? It's a fucking good bit. Did you ask before you put it in your special?

Fuck no. Really? I cut stuff. I've cut stuff because I was like, oh, I think I'm going to get in trouble for this. Didn't you do a video? Like a phone video or a Periscope or something? Oh, no. They sent me.

I sent that to you. She's like, fuck you, Doug. That was the dinner. All right. Hang on. Let's back up for the listener because we're talking over each other. I get a text message from Greg. He's filming her and the champ.

The champ is not really present, but he's in the video. No, but this is the dinner. We had a dinner in New York to talk about where the film was going, and she drank like four or five glasses of red wine and then started ripping into me about how long this is going. They had to sell their apartment in New York because they thought they would have made money off this documentary by now blamed all this shit on me i'm like you're fucking crazy to think that a documentary was gonna pay for your fucking apartment in new york you fucking idiot and so i

sat there and got yelled at by as he's living in an apartment in new york after a lemmy documentary living high on the hog off my other documentaries and i get yelled at by her and it was the same tirade where i was like she started ripping on you and i was like hold on can you say that again and i filmed it on my phone which i saw on my phone she's like i have it on my phone fuck you doug i know all about you you motherfuckers like she's cursing you out and then she goes hey uh stan, I saw your comedy special. Go fuck yourself. That pans away to her drinking a glass of wine.

The more stuff you say you have taped, the more I want to see. I'm losing my mind. I do want to make a friends-only version of this film one day. Because it would be fun to have. Like a heavy metal parking lot or something. Use a private copy. You should do the introduction to your next book. Daniel, we love you.

Go fuck yourself. But that was the night it fell apart. She yelled at me it was taking too long. And then their manager, the same dude that talked me into doing the whole thing. I thought she was the manager and the star that that uh the the bill came after i got yelled at for like 40 minutes the bill came and because that we were talking about the film they expected me to pay for dinner and all this wine and the manager said that he he just like looked at me when the

bill came like why are you looking at me man we normally split these things and he goes bro i'm getting married soon and i and i was like wow i can't be doing this anymore out of my own pocket and so i said i'm gonna get up i'm gonna go to the bathroom and when i come back if i don't see your fucking credit card on the table i'm gonna keep walking right past you motherfuckers i'm walking out the door then you're paying for the whole fucking thing if your credit card's on the table i'll split the bill and so then i then i went to the bathroom i came back and his credit card was sitting there, and he looked so upset.

But I put my card down, I split it, and I said, guys, we're done with this film. It's done. This is just too awkward and sad, and I don't like to be yelled at on a film. I'm trying to make a film about you guys, and you're mad at me, so let's call this the last goodbye,

and that was the last time I saw them. It was just like this thing that your gut, I was hoping you were going to dine and dash on this I should go to the bathroom I was so can we do an alternate ending climb out the window of the get really uh get really get really nitpicky like I didn't order the stuffed mushrooms if you could I should well the table ordered them but I didn't eat it see what I would have done walked out the table ordered them but I didn't eat them so see

see what I would have done was I came back from the bathroom I'm drying my hands off I see this cracker right there I grab the cracker I run out the door

I died in dance with your cracker I could I know I could have played it better but I was like I'm just gonna you know

whatever I wanted to end it on like a mediocrely evil note where I did pay for it. So now you're here. You're back in town. Yeah. Where I had the same paranoia about Denise if she ever saw the bit I did.

And now you're back in Bisbee to film another documentary going, are they going to come around? Are they in town? They are. I saw them staring at a tree in their yard. Hey, we own that tree. Yeah, it wasn't his tree. I'm like, hey, you can't stare

at any tree. They're here. They're in town, right? I can make it all good. We talked now. She saw my thing. Yeah, we should bring them by. Have him come to the How about poker? I've got a space heater.

You don't need Becker to deal that fucking money. Maybe that's how he wants to go out. The full house. He thought the first time we played poker together that I cheated him. And he would remember that when he came over. Last time I played here, they cheated me.

I'm like, I don't. I'll have that on camera. He was doing that to you when I was filming. He was talking about cheating you. Every time we played poker. You're like, no, man, we're not cheating you. And the only common denominator was danny that was his driver and his ride and i'm not saying danny cheated him i can't imagine that guy can count but you know me

i've been playing fucking dollar five dollar i don't all in i'm out i don't know what i'm doing i'm just having fun so yeah you're 125 dollars that should have been 145 dollars it's really not my style it's becker style or it wasn't today and i'll call becker out one time we're playing scrabble and they're like 1993 at a hotel on the road fucking zebras don't change their stripes we're playing scrabble i go i gotta take a piss i see him there's only like five cubes left in the bag i look through the crack the door opens i look through the crack it's called the glory it's called the glory hole he took the cue out of his rack that he couldn't use because all the used are out.

Put it in the bag and took his. And I go, I just saw you do that. Do what? Do what? I go, I saw you fucking put the cue back in the fucking bag. I know you had the cue because the cue's not out and all the used are out. How would you know I had the cue if you don't have the cue? See?

See, the problem with that is you can only admit you cheated if you don't have the cue. See? See, the problem with that is you can only admit you cheated if you looked. So it's like a Schrodinger's cat sort of thing? Oh! Very nice. Very nice.

Good luck with your dead cat. Becker and Erickson, attorneys at law. That's not law. That's physics. I mean, I guess it is law. The law of? What was my point, Greg? Because I got on.

I don't know, dude. I think you always talk about Schroeder's cat. No, keep going. We were talking about Jake. The kiss off. You put the credit card down. You paid the half. We were talking about cheating is what fucking brought me into this. Oh, the poker.

You cheated at poker. Oh, no. He was accusing me of cheating. Because Jake LaMotta went to the bathroom. He looked up. Jake LaMotta went to the bathroom and peeked through the cracks. He always remembered me as the guy that cheated him out of money. Which, you know, even any of you guys, I would get angry at that. Okay, you remember me for some reason.

But they didn't remember Greg for anything. No. Who is this guy filming me? No, but you said you made good with them. You had fun. You turned them into a show, and then you're good with them. I haven't seen them since then,

so that's why I'm here now. I'm stressed out because I might see them in town. I haven't made good with them. You bought them half a salad. I bought them fucking a lot of pasta and wine. If you do run into him, say, Hey, Doug told me to invite you over so we can all hang out. I will.

We'll be good. All right. If you need to, I'll take care of the problem. I will never tell anybody how old he was when I tell people I kicked Jake LaMotta's ass. I beat him as a middleweight. I beat him as a middleweight. I beat him as an elderly weight. You could kill him with a pudding pop. All right, let's get to why you're here now.

I can't even remember. Oh, your documentary. Right, we're doing another doc. Oh, I have to stop. Can we get Greg a drink, please? Oh, yeah. Fuck. Sorry.

We have new bartenders. We have new bartenders. We've been drinking since 1.30. I didn't start till 3.30. We got that other Jack down there. We should open that. Oh, we got special Jack Daniels. I brought that.

I brought that. I brought some Jack Daniels. Frank Sinatra for everybody. Very nice. Frank Sinatra. Sinatra. Yes. You guys know that Frank Sinatra is like the reason that Jack became,

one of the reasons it became what it is. He like held it up at a show and said this is the nectar of the gods, and that made Jack Daniels blow up. Literally, that's one of the main reasons that Jack Daniels is what it is. That's like he's the fucking P. Diddy of Ciroc to Jack Daniels. He is. So it's shit is what you're saying? But that's why we're here.

We are here because... Because of shit? I'm somewhere in the middle of the fucking bingo thing. Coma ICU. Tucson. And Greg texts me, hey, i'm doing this thing do you want to do it and i don't know how you have a better memory yeah i felt bad you're like yes

but bingo's in the hospital i'm like i'm a dick i should have like looked at your social media pages before i bothered you at like one in the morning but i'm doing a doc on jack daniels for some reason we were up at that hourunk in her hospital room watching her. For some reason, Jack Daniels hired me to do a proper documentary about the brand. And they said I could do whatever I wanted to do and tell the story any way I wanted to tell it. And they said I should scare them. And so the second they said that, I'm like, I'm going to call Doug Stanhope. Literally, because there's no one else that could speak

like Doug can speak. Doug's a huge non-Jack Daniels drinker, so obviously you would call him. No, that didn't even matter. Since we get this boatload of vodka, I've been going to whiskey. I see that on the past.

Yeah, no, I've been drinking whiskey more often I just don't and this is what I'll put on your documentary is that Jack Daniels is the whiskey that you can put on your shelf at the bar here it's not like we drink plastic jug vodka. Shamelessly, fuck

you if you don't like it. They're all the same. Jack Daniels is the Smirnoff brand equivalent of whiskey that you can put on your shelf where you don't feel like you're fucking people over with shitty whiskey, but you don't mind putting coke

in. If I'm drinking a Bushmills, I feel like, oh, I shouldn't put coke in there. Just take that straight. Jack, you can do either way. And you don't feel like you're fucking

sheepening the audience. Kind of a backhanded compliment. I'm getting all Gabe Lindstrom drunk over here I'm excited for I'm excited for you to show the documentary and have it open with how great Jack is with

with coke just don't put coke in that Sinatra stuff that's actually pretty damn good yeah that's like a hundred and twenty bucks a bottle that's good can we get some shots all around of that? Yeah, that's really good. You guys should try that.

That's actually really good. Down the line. So Jack Daniels is keeping the good shit secret? No, man. It's like they don't. I tried to find the good shit in Bisbee. I went to all two liquor stores in Bisbee, and nobody had this stuff. So we had to bring it in.

He just drove to Sierra Vista today to get something else. This is a rough town to get fancy liquor in. Oh, wow. Maybe we take a quick break and set up a taste test. Let's enjoy this one. I don't want to tell you what to do on your podcast

because I'm just... You guys should enjoy this. We should enjoy this shot. Miss Tracy's doing a shot right now. But sip it. Don't shoot it. Sip it first and then shoot it. Enjoy the...

Don't tell me what to do. I spent too much time watching people make Jack Daniels. There's a... There's a... There's a hero in the room. And we need to celebrate him. Because everybody that you hear in the cacophony of background,

half whispering, half yelling, there's one man that is an alcoholic like us, but more seasoned, a better veteran, a leader, a hero. An influence, a guy you want to be like when you're even an older drunk that stayed sober to drive these fucking ninnies home. And that's Cedric, who built this bar. Oh, wait, and he's home. And that's Cedric, who built this bar. Oh, wait. And he's drinking a beer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.

Here, give him a shot of Jack Daniels Frank Sinatra. It's one beer. He's our DD. He's a designated driver. That is like the classic stereotype. When Cedric walked in. He said he was the DD. And I'm like, so can I get you a drink?

Just like joking around. He goes, well, I could take like a light beer. Like it was a 90s sitcom line. It's like asking Floyd to be your designated driver. Or me. It's not clear what the first D stands for. Cheers. All right, we'll get it.

Destroyed driver. This is. What are we drinking? What are we drinking? What is this? This is a Jack. This is this Frank Sinatra select Jack Daniels. Cheers.

Frank Sinatra. Cheers. Thanks for having me, everybody. Cheers. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Oh, my God. That's Jack Daniels. That's Frank Sinatra.

Oh, and we couldn't get to the moon for how long? Bailey, I waited. Should I keep waiting? Wait for what? All right. We're going to get back to the podcast. Oh, yeah. All right.

We're going to get... So this weekend, you're filming this documentary. Hang on, people. We're wrapping up. This is more. documentary hang on people we're wrapping up this weekend we're filming this documentary about Jack Daniels and we're just going to talk about drinking

on Super Bowl take all of me I had the spirit of Frank Sinatra I was just trying to get everyone in the background's attention so we can let Greg tell us what we're fucking filming tomorrow at Safeway

we're filming at Safeway me buying booze for the Super Bowl party so I have to fucking see all the people that I don't want to see. I won't be sober. But, and then, I don't, later, later. That was one of my first questions I needed to get an answer of

so I could tell my producer what time we want to do that. Let's shoot for three. Three o'clock, boom, done. 3 a.m. So, what are we doing? Let's do three. Three o'clock's perfect. Cool. Cedric's going to be 3 o'clock is perfect. Cool.

Cedric's going to be the DD, so you should really ask. Find out his schedule. I want to do it. I'm doing it when Becker is coming with me. So set it up. I need someone to play off. What are you doing? Ask Greg.

What's the deal? I felt like, because this whole film is like, you can easily do a celebration of jack of drinking all this shit which there will be people drink we're going all over the world trying to figure out why people drink in general why people why whiskey became like this like romanticized drink you know like whiskey is something that you care more about and you tell stories while you drink why that is but i thought doug could talk about like how fucked up people are that are drinking. What's wrong with people that drink? What's wrong with people that don't drink?

What's wrong with people that are recovered from drinking? What's wrong with alcohol, a business like Jack Daniels? I thought he could tell us what's wrong with pretty much everybody in the world. As he's walking down the aisles. That'll be the beginning of the scene, and then we'll come back here and talk about it, and we'll finish it on Sunday. I see the scene going. I want to talk to all you guys, too, whoever's here. Whoever wants to talk see the scene going. I want to talk to all you guys too.

Whoever wants to talk to me on camera. First of all, we should include... He'll cut that, but he does want to talk to us. I do want to talk. He needs to placate everyone in the room. We get it. We have to acknowledge the vodka influx.

Thank you, True TV Jokers. Impractical Jokers. Sal Valcano. So, yeah, I'm sure we'll integrate the amount of vodka bottles we have and the fact that I'm kind of going towards whiskey now.

And I will blatantly plug this is how I envision it. It's me just getting a bunch of Jack Daniels and going I don't give a fuck they all taste the same to me because I'm drunk but do you remember in 95 when we were in Japan

at that festival where it was all Japanese people what did the Yakuza make us drink oh fuck the fucking gang you gotta get some notes hold on a second the fucking gang? The gang? You got to get some notes. Hold on a second. The fucking gang made you drink?

Yeah. Oh, it was a biker gang, and we do have pictures. I got pictures. Of, imagine Butters is Japanese with colored hair, but a vest with a fucking label on the back. And they were the bikers sitting next to us at that fucking music festival. You're bikers?

Yeah. Yeah. Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels. That was their America. Yeah. That's why we were actually in Japan last week with shooting Japanese people drinking Jack Daniels.

Like killing Japanese people? We were shooting Japanese people. Shooting them? Yeah, with cameras. So we go there. We're going to Safeway. We buy a bunch of Jack Daniels, then we fuck around.

Maybe four. We got to be a little bit drunk, but not too drunk for the... How do you guys get there? Logistically speaking, how do you get there? Who drives a car? Well, it starts mostly with vodka, and then we move into another. We get into the darker liquors after that.

We get there, though. Somebody usually recommends a shot. Do you have a vehicle of your own, or does somebody drive you? No, we're not going to be that drunk. No, but it's a cool looking car. I want to do it awkwardly. That's why I'm bringing Becker so we can play off each other. We're not going to be that drunk. No, I want to do it awkwardly. I think it needs to be a little bit. That's why I'm bringing Becker so we can play off each other.

It's going to be awkward because I try to keep the lowest profile in this town as I can and have a fucking camera following me through Safeway. Film crew? Where everyone, this is a town that would hate you for being famous. And to have a fucking film crew like I'm just gonna jeopardize the Sherry lane ahead of time

I called Lalo the manager and I said who's working tomorrow is Anna or Susie my favorite gals Susie's only working in the morning and I go I'm not good in the morning maybe we can get the worst can we do a shift change? Is there any? No, Sherry will definitely

be working. So we'll do her on purpose because she'll be chatty and ask a lot of questions and then I can do some fucking ad lib off fucking lane four. Lane non-Sherry. Yeah, I'll explain Sherry.

My last special I even fucking mentioned she's the worst checker ever. And she works the express lane, but she just talks to you. And the express lane is way longer than the fucking long lane. She has like mechanics gloves, like the ones you get from Napa to work on your fucking car at the fucking express lane and it's slower than anything else I'm speeding into a close tomorrow we'll be filming first buying Super Bowl booze then uh drinking Super Bowl booze and then all the fantastic people we have here that'll be drinking fucking Jack Daniels. Thanks for having me, man.

Thank you for being here. All of me. My way. Is there a Jack Daniels song or do we just go it's son of a bitch? We can do something. Like, did we do Blue Apron?

We're going to do that after. We have like, well, fuck, did we do Blue Apron? No, we didn't. We're going to do that after. Oh, yeah. We should definitely do more shots before we do that. All right. Shots of Blue Apron. All right, I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Everyone's drunk.

I'm fine, but everyone else seems. Let's listen to some Bird Cloud. Yeah. I do it myself, but I can't stand up. I decide when it's quitting time. The sun is wrong. You know I pull the blinds but I can't stand up Yeah, I do it myself but I can't

stand up What you got against me having myself a time I can't stand up I can't stand up Having myself a time. I can't stand this. I can't stand this. I'm fine. I said, what you got against me? Having myself a time.

I can't stand this. I can't stand this. I'm fine. Don't tell me I'm unreasonable. One more again. I whooped your ass, but I can't stand it. Yeah, I do it myself, but I can't stand up Yeah, I do it myself, but I can't stand up What you got against me having myself a time?

I can't stand up, I can't stand up, I'm fine I said what you got against me, having myself a time I can't stand up, I can't stand up, I'm fine One more again One more again One more again One more again One more again

One more again One more again One more again one more again one more again one more again one more again one more

again one more