The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #234: Bingo & The Lithium Shuffle

Episode Date: November 13, 2017

Bingo's long awaited book, “Let Me Out: A Madhouse Diary”, is finally out and Doug secures her first interview. Get the back story, tips on smuggling cigarettes and when a dictionary can be your best friend.Bingo's book "Let Me Out: A Madhouse Diary" is now available at http://www.bingobingaman.com/Recorded Nov. 07th, 2017 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Bingo (@bingobingaman), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.Pre-Order a SIGNED copy of Doug's NEW book, " This Is Not Fame: A "From What I Re-Memoir"" at - http://bit.ly/2z4dmBgThis episode is sponsored byBrooklinen.com - The only way to get $20 off AND free shipping is to use promo code STANHOPE at Brooklinen.comYou will never miss out on Stanhope's 2018 Tour Dates if you get on the Mailing List. http://www.dougstanhope.com/Closing song, “Are You Amused?”, by Amy “bingo” Bingaman. Available soon on iTunes.LINKS:- Buy a SIGNED copy of Bingo's Book at http://www.bingobingaman.com/- Chad Shank Voice Over info at AudioShank.com- Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

This is the Burt Kreischer prequel to a podcast that we don't normally do, but since Bingo's book is coming out today, we had her on the podcast as a guest. I had beats written out like a serious interview. Like a live podcast in Phoenix. Bingo was so terrified. I go, just have a drink have a drink just relax and by the time you got that's why i told her call chaley and tell him you're ready to do it now

because i thought that wasn't expressed like that to me yeah i'm about i'm throwing up in my mouth can we start now it was like if you guys are cool with it, I'm like, well, I'm out the door to the store to get the merchandise. Well, I was worried about myself as well because I got to leave town tomorrow and this is coming out next week when her book is out and I got shit to do and now I'm drinking and I'm drinking too much.

Anyway, Bingo gets, she starts fucked up, and then gets really fucked up, and then shuffled out at the end, going, I ruined everything. She wanted to shut it down like three times. She just gathered her things a la Lynn Shawcroft in armfuls and headed towards the door, and then comes back.

It's pretty funny. Anyway, Bingo's new book book i think it's a again a diary of in the moment times uh time in her first lock up in a mental illness facility in rural wyoming which is the only part of wyoming is rural rural there's no other part. I wish I had back teeth sometimes when I have to say words like rural or brewery. Or when you're eating a salad. Brewery gulch. We'll call it the gulch. I can't say brewery without back teeth.

Well, what we didn't bring up in the beginning, which now we are because we're in the prequel part, the history of bingo in the mental institution is what the diary is. The backstory of how she got there is what you'll get in the mental institution is what the diary is the backstory of how she got there is what you'll get in the podcast we we touch on that of how she ended up there in the first place and the history of uh bingo's mental illness yeah not enough of it and uh if you have more questions at one point we'll do a follow-up to this where you fucking crazy people who haunt me even in my hometown yeah if you have follow-up questions we'll do a follow-up podcast about your time in a mental institution without you trying to out crazy bingo which we get into and i talk about on stage now that crazy is kind of fashionable people try to out crazy bingo which is we get into. And I talk about on stage now that crazy is kind of fashionable.

People try to out crazy bingo, which is why she doesn't come on the road a lot now. And, uh, but yeah, this, this, I think this podcast is strong.

I think we, I think we held it up right. Mr. Chaley. Well, you know, I wasn't drinking since noon, but Hey,

uh, by the way, for 2018, I'd like to do this. I opened up a Gmail account, Stan Hope podcast. So if people want to ask questions related to the podcast or want to ask questions for the podcast, let's just direct them there. Stan Hope podcast at gmail.com. Yes. By the time this comes out, I think my final dates of this year,

but get on the mailing list is the most important thing because I will be going to the Far East, to Australia, to UK, to the rest of Europe and other places. Brian Hennigan can pimp me out like a fucking kid in knickers. I wanted to ask Bingo other questions about when we met and how they mirror Harvey Weinstein, but it's going to have to wait. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes you're together for life after you bring a girl on a first date to a fucking porno shop. You're the cadence of sometimes you feel like a nut when you said that. That's pretty funny. As long as I had a cadence, Bingo's diary has the most mad cap, fucking beautiful cadence of someone who's spiraling out of their fucking mind. Here's Bingo Bingerman.

Good night. Good night. Good night. You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. What's this? I don't know. I don't know. It came from somewhere.

I washed it out and I put it out for someone. It looks like it's a bottle of vodka that came in a reusable tin. Well, yeah, it's like a travel mug, but it's a thermos because it's got a small mouth, which is fucking completely worth... If that's a gift from a fan, it's worthless. If you put anything in there other than just straight alcohol. That's what it was. It says here, vodka's distilled in France.

I have no idea. Someone sent us a mug, I assume, sent us a mug. There's a coffee mug that I thought it said Unity on it. It's a coffee mug. You're not reading it unless you're some bored fucking housewife. Tell me why I don't like Mondays or some shit. I thought it said unity. And someone last night of football saw it was untie.

And the handle is the C. It's cunty. And I never. It's been around here forever. And he goes, where'd you get this? I said, I don't know

if someone left shit here, if some fan sent it, if I bought it at a yard sale. I don't know what all this shit is. There's shit everywhere that someone could lay credit to.

Hey, I bought you you that i didn't even notice it was on the wall for the last five years sorry sorry i don't notice that'd be funny people will just send you a letter hey uh did you get that thing i sent you because you never said anything i do we're gonna actually we're actually gonna close on that after this podcast today we're We have an author Whose upcoming book Actually I think the book is coming out The day that this is released This podcast

This is a few days earlier This is actually The anniversary Of Amy Bingo Ding Dong Dingamons Coma Coma It's a year ago today anniversary of Amy Bingo Ding Dong Dingamons coma. Coma. So a year ago today, the bingo fucking went down those steps right there, smashed

her skull, and yeah, and here she is promoting a book. It took that fucking dash to the skull to get you off your ass and actually put this book out. All right. Because you realized how short life is.

A sense of urgency was instilled upon your noggin. She's only a year old as far as she knows. It's AC, after coma. Yes. I would recommend being in a coma for anybody. I came out feeling strong as shit. I say coma is the way to go. Well, what's your last, what's your first memory of being out of a coma?

Can you tell us that? It's like your first day of being alive. I have one memory of when I was a toddler in a in a what do you call it a fucking pram a pram what are you fucking british all of us i stroll but i can't think of a stroller yes but i don't know if that's a memory that i created when i heard this story repeated yes memory is completely faulty. That's what happened. What's your first memory of being out of a coma?

Okay, I'll tell you what it was, and then I've seen a picture recently, so it might have been that. But what it was is I had just gotten the trach out, so I had a bandage on my neck for the trach, and then you had the trach taped up to your neck. And so we're together and we swapped trachs. Yeah, that's probably a picture memory. Okay, probably.

American Gothic. With the Pittsburgh? Do you have any memories that are not picture related? No. Fear, anything like that? No, I really don't. I don't. Do you remember any hospital rehab shit the only thing i remember is getting mad at

that cardboard person and i punched her out yeah in the brain rehab facility they had cardboard cutouts like employee of the month kind of things but they were dwarfed and morphed so there'd be little cardboard cutouts with the person's name it's the freakiest fucking thing you would do it's a little brain injury putting to put like in the lobby where everyone walks right when they come out of uh yeah that lady is going to be testing your fucking ability to and now she's a giant amorphic dwarf. I don't know what amorphic means. That gets us into Bingo's book. There's a lot of words you use in this book. You don't know what they mean anymore.

I know. Bingo's book is an in-the-moment diary where she was taking notes when she went into a mental institution in 2004, which you had no memory then. That's a good thing. You don't have to worry so much about your traumatic brain injury a year ago. Before that, you didn't remember shit anyway, because you're a fucking mental patient.

That's true. Don't say it like you're fucking... That's true! How's that? Don't say it like you're fucking that's true how's that like you're developmentally disabled now uh i read this twice the first time when we first got together 2005 officially and uh one of those terrifying things where you go oh oh shit, my girlfriend wants me to read her writing. And we've known how many comedy couples

where one has to say, oh yeah, the other one's funny. No, they're not. But I've been writing jokes, oh, you're not going to help. You just

read my poetry, the old're not going to help. You just read my poetry. The old bit I used to do. No one wants to read your poetry. When you gave me this diary, I had to read it. And I was so wincing. And I was laughing every other page. And I read it again when you were this is 12 years in the making yeah why why why did it take you 12 years to put this out well some of it it's all different

some of it was I couldn't read the the what was the content um I just couldn't get through it like to proof it? yeah and then some of it was I was completely lazy and you overdo every fucking thing yeah yeah how's that you fucker

sorry I've been I've been leaning on bingo to uh have have another cocktail i'm nervous and now i think maybe i over over did bingo i i read it again a year ago when you were definitely gonna put it out then coma time still fucking brilliant and then i just skimmed through it today because i was doing due diligence i'm gonna interview you like a real radio guy would interview an author he doesn't know and i wrote down bullet points but just reading some of these passages, it's everything. It's a diary of her going into a mental institution where you just had a deep slide into insanity.

Well, it's a long-term thing, but it mounted up quick. Real fast. You were living in Lander, Wyoming, which if there is a middle of nowhere, this is in the center. This is the first and main cross-section of the middle of fucking nowhere. So they put you in what they have,

the psycho wing of whatever hospital they have, some MASH unit. Lander Valley Hospital. Wearing. Do you remember what you're wearing? Robin, one of my best friends, found me in a complete episode, and I was wearing a ball gown. I remember what it looks like.

It was ridiculous. I was barefoot. I didn't have any shoes. And I was wearing a wedding ring that he had given me when he proposed to me so long ago, but it never had a stone in it because it was at the Lander Bar, and he got it out of the lost and found box. So he proposed to me with this lost and found ring, which it didn't have a stone, and I

would cut myself with it. I actually skimmed through that in the book. Yeah, that was my cut utensil. Yeah, you're punching yourself in the head with... Well, I mean, a ring that holds a stone that is missing a stone is a weapon. It would look like a parakeet scratched you all over your face. Isn't that one of those satellite radio... Cat's claw.

Cat's claw. Yeah, I mean, if you look at a ring, it would be basically little tiny scratches. But she would pound her head on anything sharp when... Or a tree. You're diagnosed so many fucking things. And we went over this a lot in the last special, where you're bipolar, schizoizoaffective but it might be just keep making up fucking names yeah but uh yeah you'd hurt yourself that's what what was the

what was the final straw that brought you to your best friend having to drag you to the fucking worst mental institution it's either ah fuck hold on i have to say just so the readers know you being barefoot in a ball gown on the street with scratches on your face is not a reason to throw you a mental that is that's i knew you like that i've been on the road and that's been a situation so i just i gotta put that back because i don't know how much background is in the book of like there is no background in the book this is a good starts it's i have to specify this is a diary that she wrote in the moment for 33 days of oh i just woke up in a mental institution and i have no fucking idea what's going on no one's talking to me no one's

telling me anything it's fucking terrifying uh and it's her as she goes in the moment this is not her reflecting. So do you remember, even secondhand, what precipitated just that day? I think it was all of what we already said with the ball gowns crashing and whatever, but it was a delusional state. I mean, I wasn't with us anymore. And there's a videotape of that. I have never got it back, but... Someone videotaped you, like, intervention? Robin did.

Like, this is what it was like before we signed the papers. Robin got it on film. Girls gone crazy. Girls gone crazy. So, you were just... and they dealt with you. This wasn't like one day. They dealt with this. I've been sinking for a while.

I was in New Orleans, and I got sent back to Robin and his parents' house, and they took care of me for a while, and then I got locked up. We've been through this. Chaley and I have been through this. That was your first rodeo. That could have been the title of the book, which is Let Me Out, A Madhouse Diary. But this could have been called my first rodeo

because we've been through it since where you go, I don't want to fucking, in my book, we talk about the time I would have had her locked up if i was if we weren't on the road in rock island fucking illinois with her yeah with her going bad timing bad timing lander wyoming probably no not worse no rock island would have been worse yeah right well the other time she was locked up, not like this, but while we were on the road, she was not with us. That was a whole different thing because when she, in Rock Island,

when she went blackout and all that, that was just insane. And trying to maintain getting to shows and all that stuff. It was a nightmare. No matter where you are, in the perfect circumstance, you always have to... That's why I empathize with parents who have to decide whether to report their kids to the cops. Well, I don't want them in prison because it's a horrible place.

It's going to make them worse, but I can't have them out loose here like this fucking drug addicted or whatever it is it's always a tough call so tipping point i empathize the the diary starts with you waking up and writing to jenya your other best friend rob and jenya were your two best friends yeah and it opens with letters to both of them that you had written saying i don't know where i am i don't know what's going on i don't know if it's more emotional for me because i've been with you through those similar experiences but it's fucking crushing and then it gets funny then it's crushing and then it gets funny. And then it's crushing. And then it gets funny. I would have never remembered the funny had I written.

I read the funny and I remembered it, but. That's what I wanted to ask you. How much of that whole experience would you remember today if you hadn't written all this out? I do remember it after I've read it it and i remember more of it because of that i wouldn't remember shit i i i i i stole some uh some beats things that stood out to me to see what you remember just off the top of your head oh that interesting. Because when I wrote both of my books, I had to call a lot of people to fact check

a lot of it I'd written about before and I was like, oh, fuck. Oh, god damn, now I remember this. Now I remember this. Okay, what you got? I got this. Hang on. Okay.

Alright. The one that stands out and this is uh well that all right i'll slow burn it okay at one point when you're entrenched and you kind of know what's going on you realize that you are on the list for a day pass to go to the salon and you can't understand why you would be going to the hair salon yes because you have no hair you were shaved bald at that point it's tough because i changed the names in the book to protect all of these people so i can't say the name but this person who i called the godfather after a while after the hair thing. You can say it on a podcast. No. Anyway, that'll help.

But Graham and Robin were coming to visit me. And you have to be monitored by the staff at all times. But he... But they're lazy. They're lazy sometimes, yeah. And he checked me off for a trip to the salon, so they would think I went to the salon room, and we snuck off to the quiet room instead.

Oh, wait, salon room. I thought you were getting a day pass to go to a cosco. No, you can't go out. You can't leave the... Okay, salon, I think it's another term for like a general meeting area like the library or the foyer in the book in the diary you say which is weird because i have no hair so yeah you were bald at the time okay uh but a salon the salon is a place that they would yeah i can't imagine a mental house pedicure place. Did they have Koreans in Lander, Wyoming?

They would not let you off campus for anything. All right. I don't know. You've been to other places. He just marked a check in a box and helped me the fuck out. That's what happened. Just got you out of the fucking bad, bad place. And I could go into the quiet room, which was empty,

with my two best friends, Robin and Graham. There's a beat? Hang on. At the point that you went in to the institution, had you been diagnosed at all? No. No idea what's wrong with you. I got diagnosed for the first time in my life in this mental institution. So you had no idea? i was just what was the what was the

progression of the diagnoses what do you mean what do they say at first because i know at some point you talk about doing the lithium shuffle oh yeah explain that you want that first yeah well first of all i was diagnosed as something something and schizoaffective bipolar. Bipolar was the heavy hitter. And what did you just ask me? The lithium shuffle you described. Oh, it was

amongst the inpatients, we all called it the lithium shuffle. Anybody who was on the lithium. And it just sucked sucked i'm asking because lithium is the mainstay treatment for bipolar and it's my best medication to this day yeah so you've obviously grown accustomed to it oh absolutely at first in the, it's way different. Like, I remember seeping spit out of my mouth and trying to write and having... Like when you go to the dentist.

Yeah. What is it? Novocaine. Novocaine, thank you. Yeah, like that. But my hands wouldn't barely, barely were able to write. And you couldn't walk. You were seriously paralyzed.

Was this ramping up on the dosages, or is this them trying to figure out the dose to give you? Well, they started me a little bit high and went way low, and then ramped up after that. Was there a dartboard they threw a dart in? It seemed like it. Give her three milligrams. I just don't know why.

It was a lot of milligrams. I don't know why you would have those side effects. Is it because your body becomes acclimated and then you level up? Absolutely. Okay, so then you start to level up. And I would tell anybody. Stand up. Oh, okay.

All right. I would tell anybody... Stand up. Oh, okay. All right. I would tell anybody who was trying out lithium... Because you sound like you're on the lithium shuffle right now, and it's my fault. I'm sorry. Well, you got me drunk, goddammit. How am I supposed to talk about all this when I'm drunk? That's your own goddamn fault.

I want you to get used to doing interviews. Oh, I'm going to be terrible at it. Because all these people, hey, will you do my podcast? And I don't have time or I'm busy. I'm going to put them on you. And they're going to ask you questions like, so what do you want to do with this book?

I know the one. Did you really write this book yourself? Oh, boy, that would be special. Fucking dare you that's a question i have but we'll get back to it no i'm gonna close on it i try to write this in a perfect arc but no i want you to get back to a lithium shuffle no it's dude fuck up my whole time oh okay i didn't know you had that coming. So the lithium. Lithium shuffle. I just explained it. I mean, you're paralyzed. But lithium takes a while to get through the body.

And unfortunately, that can take weeks, weeks and weeks sometimes. I remember we had a friend here that we were afraid would, uh, go through your, uh, medicine cabinet as they would mine. And, uh, you, you were afraid that they'd just start eating your lithium. Like it was fucking good drugs. Right.

It doesn't, it doesn't, not only does it not work for that, it could kill you. Right. Um, well, kill you, right? Well, none of the psych drugs that I take usually do in excess. Well, there's no high to that.

No, there's no high whatsoever. We're talking about drunk friends that go, oh, I think he's hiding Xanax. I'll take these. And you go, no, no, no, that's her lithium. Don't do that. I think I know who you're talking about. Yeah, we all know who you're talking about.

I think I know. He's a good guy. I'm pretty sure. Okay, what else you got for me? Oh, let's see. This is just an example of the writing, the writing in this. You cheated like I do.

You had nothing but a pen and a dictionary. And you even yourself admitted you don't know most of the big words that you found. I not only don't know them. This would be a douchebag book soup, book signing question where they go, what was your process? I think your process was find a big word. Well, here's the thing. I can tell you exactly how this happened. Not only do I not know the word word i have no clue how to pronounce

the word honestly but the thing of it was i wrote very rhythmically in my own head maybe not to you no no no you when you read this it sounds like does it music it sounds like you're writing lyrics to music a lot of it a lot of it scattershot fucking to music, a lot of it. A lot of it's scattershot, fucking crazy, but a lot of it is I'm tripping, I'm going to write in these perfect waves of words that you don't get. Here's the thing.

I would search the dictionary for a word because I had to kill massive amounts of time being locked up in concrete walls. So I had my dictionary and it felt like my best friend. And I would go through the dictionary and search for the word that meant what I wanted it to mean and had the number of syllables that it had to have to fit into my sentence.

Does that make sense? sense yes that's songwriting okay right would you always start at a well she did i mean she has a whole i skimmed through a passage about just that where she's talking about i'm writing just to you know kill time basically she writes it more and and eloquently in a manic in a manic kind of state and that thing where you're talking about like she's probably at the i'm guessing here when you said that i thought it was well put in that it sounds like it was written in ways she's probably going through that in her head but then having to stop and to find a word and then finding that word

and then that opening of that door i could see where that would once that was the victory she found the word and then now she could you know kind of ride that wave but to have to stop every time to find a word that you don't even know exists but i loved the pause of my writing to find the word because it killed the time. And that's what that whole passage I found today was about how I'm writing and you're shitting on your own writing all the time. Yeah. So it's saying that I'm only doing this because the fucking walls are closing

in on me. And it was a way to get through that. And writing was, it wasn't a passion you didn't want to be fucking hemingway you wanted to the white worms you referred to page yeah i know is that the white worms like the spaces it's the spaces in the book yeah that's that's what i was gonna say that's what crazy people do. That's like a brilliant mind. This movie, her diary reminded me of so many crazy people movies.

A Brilliant Mind Now where he saw patterns in all the... The yarn connecting all of the... Yep. Yeah. Obviously, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest as she develops all these characters that she was actually with. And the best one, which no one knows...

Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No. No. Close. The ninth configuration. Oh, right. William Peter Blatty. The dialogue.

Because you would write, in the moment, as someone's talking to you what they're saying what they're describing to you you had a new room iteration no you would write down i'm writing as you yeah you'd actually write as they're talking to me she's describing this it's so fucking beautiful i'm not even gonna try to find it and read it, but she got a new roommate. Don't know the name. It's a fake name anyway. Yeah.

She's writing down as her new roommate is telling her, her story. She's her third time in. I think she had tried to kill herself. She got out the second time and found divorce papers tacked to the outside of the door with the locks changed so she went to a motel to kill herself with a box cutter and i was cutting into her throat trying to and then woke up still conscious later on very similar to the diana hone story that's in my book uh d Diana actually killed herself.

Said that the doctor said that she was even prying the opening open. Yeah, I know. It's very graphic. But Bingo's taking this down like a court stenographer. Yeah. And they said that when they brought her in, the carotid artery was exposed's gonna puke she's gonna puke easy easy captain but no this is the best part after bingo goes on to describe her and the all of that she said that the girl was upset that she can't get her Midwestern sensibilities out of her.

Yeah. It's just such a weird twist. Anything they said, I wrote down. Anything everyone said, I got. My quotes are accurate quotes. I didn't remember anything. I didn't write a story. This is what happened.

I know. And that's why the ninth configuration, just look up ninth configuration movie quotes and just that staccato, just brilliant dialogue from a sane person you're writing down dialogue just like that i one of the ones i read from the ninth configuration that i remember later uh uh what it's the crazy person talking to colonel kane i'm not going to describe the whole movie, but he says, I want to go to the beach. Kane says, it's nighttime and it's raining.

You're determined to start an argument. It's just like this perfectly crazy, and you have real life shit that reminds me of my favorite movies from that. And a lot of it is hilarious unintentionally. A lot of it's hilarious intentionally. I didn't read what I wrote for a couple of years. And then when I finally got the courage and I thought I was mentally okay to read it,

I was shocked at how much funny was in there. I had a way better sense of humor in the fucking shittiest time ever than I ever thought. And that's, you couldn't write this today. No, no. And that's one of the main points. You're not putting this out because you're trying to you know be an advocate for mental health care how much of that kind of crazy because most people who've dealt with this bipolar not the

new bipolar i talk about this on stage where people would come up to you and try to out-crazy you at shows. They want to say, well, how many institutions have you been locked up in? How many meds are you on? I'm like, go fuck yourself. I ain't in a competition. This is ridiculous. Do you know how often I get that?

It's all the fucking time. I know. I do a bit about it. It's a competition. Too bad you haven't been on the road. You take credit for my whole act. I've been in a coma you dumb dick it's uh it's only it's been 11 months uh but how much of that do you miss because that's what they say about people with they go off their meds because they miss the crazy that gives them the creative outlet that is your diary okay you're doing good now i mean coma aside that was a different ordeal i'll tell you i've been doing good for so long that i know for me, I'm not a pill pusher. I would never push pills on anyone or say, you need to do this.

But for me, I have to be medicated. If I am not medicated, I am completely dysfunctional and out of this world. You did talk about a guy in the diary. One of them that... No, we call him Kevin. All right, whatever. Some guy that was, like, fucked,

and he used to strangle cats to watch their eyeballs bulge out, and he was fascinated with the human anatomy, and to fuck cats with a toothbrush, like, all sorts of shit. And she says, I used to be all about holistic but fuck that homeotherapy some people need fucking meds he was a sick duck this guy needs some meds and he this particular guy got a shot in his ass because they wouldn't trust him for hiding meds under his tongue. I thought it was a cat with a toothbrush.

But I swear to Christ, this kid could have complete conversations with me like a normal person after he got that shot. Again, I'm no pill pusher. I'm just saying something really matters the the back and forth you have with these people I just imagine you scribbling in a notebook

while these people are talking to you and them not noticing because scribbling in a notebook is the least weird thing you can do in there I remember more scribbling than I remember anything else because I was never without my paper and pen unless they wouldn't allow it.

This will never be a New York Times bestseller, but anyone who's dealt with mentally ill people or people who've been incarcerated, which is the right word because it's very much like prison. I've been around for other times you've been incarcerated. Right. And it is prison-like. They wouldn't give you anything.

You had to hide your pen and paper at first, didn't you? Yeah. I have a question. Yeah. Because you woke up, how did you find out you were in a mental institution? Did they tell you? The first time? Yeah.

I woke up in a hospital bed, and what had happened was me and Robin were seeking out mental health care for me for a while. And the two main heavy hitters were like, it looks like this is where your future is going. All right. This ain't getting better. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's basically what they said. Because being locked up, at least in prison, you go to court and they tell you you're guilty,

you get a sentencing and all that. You just woke up. Don't get me wrong. I was confused as fuck yeah the the first thing in my book is the letter opens with that and it's so strong just the opening that letter to jen that is so powerful like i don't know where you didn't even know where to mail it to oh there's no mail you're just writing writing having no idea exactly where you were but guessing you were probably i guess i'm in a mental institution i'm so sorry

that i did this to you where are my shoes it's so and this guy's walking around my tube socks i remember that there's only one guy delivering your shit to you little at a time and he was carrying on my tube socks forever it's really awkward but we've we've visited you in yeah establishments like that where it's it's like prison how much of that at one point you talk about i think it was the new roommate, where she had, yeah, it was, because she had been in, it was her third time, so she knew how to smuggle shit in her vagina. Oh, that was Marion.

And yes, she knew all of that. She taught me so much. How to hide razor blades. She hid hers in the inseam so she could cut herself. Not like prison where you're going to shank someone. It was personal use. Yeah, personal use only. For entertainment purposes only.

Smoking. How to smoke and not get caught. In the bathroom with the vent and certain times of day, get caught in the bathroom with the vent and certain times a day she she charted out when you could smoke because it sucked instead of blue so she carried for the rest of the time and she gave me a chew one time and that went from great i just said i feel so much better i was having a really rough time feel so much better and then my next one was like, I feel so much worse. I was puking everywhere. And that was, let's see, who was it? It was someone's birthday that day.

Are you allowed tobacco products in there? No way. She wasn't even allowed her guitar. She had to steal her guitar. Snuck it out. There's a few things. I don't know if they're actually in the book, but you told me about, where you snack time.

You weren't allowed snacks for a lot of snack time. Snack and meds, but I don't get snacks. I just get meds. Which I can see where that would be bothersome to you. Oh, man, at the time. Dinner was at like 4.30 p.m. The egg. It's an egg.

Okay, it's an egg. Okay, the egg. It egg? It's an egg. Okay, it's an egg. Okay, the egg. It's either jello or egg. No, it was the egg. Maybe there's two different stories. Is this snack time or is this a meal? This is snack time. I don't know if this is in the diary, but I know you told me about it.

It is. No, snack time. I didn't get a snack, and I hated the dietician cunt is what I used to call her. Oh, we have her coffee mug here. Now, I don't mind saying her name on the podcast, but her name was Margie, except finally I found out her name was a hard G. So it was Margie.

And I was like, that makes everything worse. I don't get my jello snack, and her name's Margie Hard G. What? That was terrible. So tell me about the egg. Oh, so I went in for a snack time, and cool staff would cook me up an egg in the evening

because I wasn't supposed to have anything. And anyway, so one time this young girl was going to cook me an egg, and she put the egg in a microwave within the eggshell. Did you know this was going to go poorly? Yeah, and I was like, I couldn't wait. I thought this was great. I call her a pee-queef in my book. Pee-queef?

Yeah, I don't know why, but I called her a pee-queef in my book. That wasn't an addiction. No, I came up with that. But anyway, she stuck it in the microwave, blew to shit, and it was the greatest thing that had happened to me that day. At some point, you have a breaking out of jail story where you went into the catacombs. This is...

She got put in for the first three days, was in Lander, Wyoming. Then they moved her to the great metropolis of Evanston, Wyoming. Lander's where we went. We were there. But we went to Evanston, too. That's where we went to that bar with the horse track. Off-track betting. Off-track betting.

Dog racing. Fucking greatest day. And it was World Cup. So you're in evanston now and they have this old it's a larger facility a larger you can picture a wyoming antiquated mental institution because wyoming hasn't really adapted to the times past when it was the Wild West. So you can imagine. Or the Dust Bowl. Let's say the Dust Bowl.

No, that's Oklahoma or Kansas. Well, that period of time when everyone started leaving. They have old school mental ill. But it was an upgrade from where she was in Atlanta, right? Well, they have closed this place now. But you describe it, bingo. Which one, the second one? Where you went, you stuck into that,

you don't want to go into the, going down into the catacombs of the old mental hospital. Okay, well, me and my Marion roommate, she got this- It's so weird. I know you had to change the name, but you're changing the pronunciation of Marion. I know, I know I am. Marion. I know you had to change the name, but you're changing the pronunciation. I know. I know.

I know. She got this book from the library and the library had about seven books in it. And it was just three hole punch papers and a binder. And that was the book. And it was kind of like your book has been for the last 12 years i'm not done with it it's already written you can't say you're not done with the diary i'm gonna have to buy all those three ring binders anyway we found out it's like if anne frank had lived and tried to reshop the Hang on, I've got to make some changes.

Well, we found out all the buildings on the site, the hospital site, and the oldest building was the biggest building in the middle that was abandoned for years and years and years. And we wanted to break into there off this book that we had. This is when you're already like a trustee, week three, where they let you out? I was in. I was in good.

But how were you able to get out? Oh, this is how. I'm sorry. We were able to get out of the main hospital because on campus, you walked a very short amount of way, and then there was the cafeteria. So that's how you got outside. And you had to be a certain card level, like white card, pink card. So it does work like prison.

Yeah, it does. You get to a place where you go, oh, I'm white carded now. No, it absolutely works like that. I can stroll outside and smoke a cigarette. So the only thing I was able to do was go from outside with an escort from the hospital to the cafeteria. And we concocted

this plan that we were going to break into the oldest hospital and see if they did the lobotomies there because that's what we heard. That's what was in this book. You had to have the same kind of idea of mental

hospitals that you see in movies. Well, fuck yeah! Except for a fucking girl interrupted what you shit on. I do shit on there. I like that. I picture it more like Stand By Me. Like these kids are like no, that's where they do the lobotomies.

We're gonna go to the middle building. Middle Earth. You were 27 at this point. I was 27. You're no child, but you still want to see the fucking dungeon. Basically, she had a crowbar in her Corvette that she stole the keys. She had a what? What did you just say?

She had a yellow Corvette. And here's the thing. She wasn't supposed to have the keys at all, but she had two sets. She taught me how to smuggle a lot of things in my vagina. What could you smuggle in your vagina? Well, me? Listen, you're slurring.

I got you drunk. Oh, shit. You got me drunk, baby. It's all right. So what did you learn how to smuggle in your vagina? A crowbar and a Corvette. Me with vagina? A crowbar and a Corvette. Me with cigarettes. A crowbar and a Corvette.

How do you smuggle a cigarette in your vagina? Plastic bag and shove it on your pussy. But it would break so easily. No, trust me. Come on, you ever sit on a soft pack of Marlboro Lights? My smoke stayed in one piece. Go fuck yourself. Those were the days.

Doug all ham hands. This cigar keeps breaking. Easy down there. Gentle, gentle. That's why I say you could not write this book again. I know. That's what earlier when I was saying I have a question about this. You could not write

this book no i know not not even close i can never write a book again i still am amazed that you had the wherewithal to take these notes and they that it was done you're very lucky that you had that distraction but at the same time no it's very lucky that I had the mental capability to do it because a lot of people didn't. This is from Let Me Out by Amy Bingo Bingaman. This is no hospital. This is no place of rehabilitation. This is a game, and I am losing. I have a ribbon, and you have a gun. Dr. Feeler is by far the sickest human being

I've ever come into contact with. Is this really happening? And then you go to the next beat. Yeah. Dr. Feeler. It's not his real name. No, it's not his real name. His real name's in my book.

Oh, shit. You're going to get me in trouble, baby. No, I put that in my book. I'm not going to say where. I'll do it after it's out. Okay, all right. I've skipped over so many points, but how much of that prison,

that's why we talked about razor blades in your vagina, is necessary? Because when you were up at the Valley... Oh, boy. What did that guy say? The coffee mug. The other coffee mug. No, Valley Arts and Crafts.

Valley Arts and Crafts Center. Yeah, no. Because that's all they did for mental health care. Yeah. Hey, you have... Ceramics. Yeah. Here's some color crayons.

Work it out yourself. How much of that is necessary when you talk about this guy that fucked cats with toothbrushes how much of that prison-like atmosphere is necessary how much of it is due to negligence in knowing specific cases cases i'm i'm right in the center of things here because um the lifestyle they're in a hospital like all right hold that thought uh let's take a break and we'll be right back after we have to jam a commercial in here hey hey brooklinen.com brooklinen Sheets. You know, I'm kind of a cunt when it comes to what I promote. And sheets are important, just like everything else sleep-related. Sleeping is my new hallucinogen.

I used to be young and randy, and I would go tripping balls in the desert, and we'd do all sorts of things and not bathe appropriately for days on end. I still don't bathe appropriately, but my new tripping is sleeping well. And the most important thing is the bed you're lying on. And if that doesn't have good sheets, not the target sheets we bought because they were turquoise and matched bingo's hair. No good sheets like thread count, things like that matter.

If you want to go into the lucid dreaming atmosphere, when you can bring yourself to waking up because your fucking girlfriend won't stop calling you and you shut off the phone and you can go back into the same dream that was perfect, you need to have perfect sheets. Brooklinen.com. If you live in an outback, nowhere, jerkwater burg like I do,

you can't get good sheets. Can't go down to the mercantile and just pick them up. Hey, get me some Egyptian cotton. Now, you take what they get, but Brooklinen delivers them right to your door, and I swear to Christ, if you don't like them, I'm going to come and cuddle up with you and sleep together. And if you wake up in the middle of the night,

I'm going to call bullshit on you. Brooklinen, what's a call to action, Chaley? Hey, Doug, would you say that quality sheets make a quality sleep? I think I just said it, you fucking asshole. But it took that long to say. Yeah, but I spelled it out. I gave it depth and feeling. Pour me a fucking

drink, lady. Most high-end bedding is marked up by more than 300% by the time it reaches the store. Brooklinen makes quality luxury sheets and bedding accessible to everyone. And it's that time of season. It's a great gift idea, Doug. Yeah, you got someone who talks too much, won't go to fucking bed,

buy him Brooklinen sheets and go, Merry Kwanzaa, you fuck. Have him sleep for 12 hours. You got a roommate? This is luxury bedding underpriced, so go to bed already. I love how you jammed that in. All right, go to Brooklinen Sheets. Here, I'll start it off.

Brooklinen.com has an exclusive. I was going to get to the highlighted parts. I tried to put a funny part. You're such a cock block to my perfect read. Hey, I'll tell you what. I only got a pillowcase out of your bedding set that they sent you. And I love my Brooklinen pillowcase. It's the most important part of the whole sheet set.

Try this pillowcase and the rest. I don't know if they have a duvet, but it's not important. They do. Pillowcase is best. Sheet, second best. That's the whole thing. If I didn't tell you, you wouldn't have known, because in a set, you get four pillowcases.

We don't even have a top sheet anymore. Maybe we should get a new one from Brooklyn, because I think Bingo might have made a fucking goblin costume out of it for Halloween. A very uncomfortable goblin costume. She sleeps standing up like that girl from The Ring. Wait, the one bent over? No, the one coming out of the well, you know,

with her fucking long turquoise hair. Hey, brooklinden.com has an exclusive offer, Doug, just for your listeners. What is it? Hey, get $20 off. What, are they crazy? $20 off and free shipping? Better get it now while they're in business

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Brook Lennon. If you can't spell it, you don't deserve it. You deserve Target sheets. You fuck. Brook Lennon. These are the best sheets ever. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Back to bingo. She's drunk. she's drinking a cold brew coffee

i told you to have a cocktail don't worry don't worry your book speaks for itself I sometimes read this and I think, is this the little girl I married? Tom Konopka's here for a limited time only. Tom Konopka's going out into the real world. We're leaving our baby. Goodbye. Well, he's staying at Bisbee, but he's moving to Old Town. I love you, Daddy. Tom Konopka, listen to this.

This is Bingo in her own writing about her own writing. This is from the Madhouse. This is her Madhouse diary entitled Let Me Out, her time in the Wyoming gulag that is known as the mental health care system in this fucking country noticing my writing it differs after calculation of time or the time to calculate word past tense scratching in the problem solve of phrase versus the dreaded here and now which i avoid at all costs all cost of the present state so it may seem she doesn't want to write in the fucking present tense because she doesn't want to accept where she is and no i don't feel any more artistic than a simple fuck you i hate you i love

you i wish to die it's the necessary consumption of time harder to swallow than medication and harder to pass with constipation the slowest second hand belongs to a clock above my head and my bowels work better than my brain this goes on i could this whole fucking chapter there's just so much fucking good writing in this and if if you can accept yourself in that situation which is completely fucked if you can imagine yourself like stuck you wake up you've been going south you wake up with that hangover where you go, what did I do last night? But this is a hangover that's been building over years, and it doesn't go away, and it just gets worse, and what the fuck is happening?

What did I do? And it just gets worse. Well, then that's my book. Bingo. Good luck on other interviews thank you the one thing people need to know is before any seizure

before the coma before mental institutions I was a fucking complete retard and I read before I wrote my book, before what you read, before that happened, I had maybe, I calculated everything and I'd maybe read seven books in my entire life. I don't have a style.

I don't have a fucking. That's why this is so good because it's honest okay like it's in the moment honest you're honest about how you wrote it i just looked up fucking big words and i killed the time but it's so perfectly and the whole arc of it from i wake up in a mental institution to the day you get let out and you're i spoiler alert yeah the last line of it no it's just that's why i said earlier she could not do this now and i that's i wonder how much of that insanity people miss because it makes them that creative even though it's destroying their lives like several times in this you mentioned

lucille which was your alter ego that you put out when you're manic you call that lucille i know i don't want her back but i do i'd rather have that than apathy and then other times i can't go back to that and anyone who's dealt with mental illness will so this will fuck you up this book will fuck you up this diary i should say it ain't a book you ain't going back there in fact you're going to bed at 7 30 at night because you're so fucking hammered off at two drinks just to have a drink so i was doing this oh that helped yeah this this is this is the this is the podcast that's gonna launch your book and i fucked it up i said maybe you should relax you were so nervous i have have a question, Doug. Disaster.

You read the book. No, we saved you. You told me early, hey, if I don't know the answer to a question, save me. I didn't know you'd have an answer and you wouldn't be able to enunciate it. Doug, you read the book in 2005. Yep.

And 12 years later, you read it again. That was about a year ago. And now you were going through it again today. And we've already said this before. You've been firsthand aware of these incidents. You've seen things firsthand. You've had to deal with things on the phone while working, while things were happening in Bisbee.

All of these things. Reading the book, did you get an insight differently than what you've known firsthand, like things you didn't know or things you didn't appreciate about what Bingo's gone through? It made me, first of all, it made me want to go into a fucking jail cell to write where I had no distractions. You know, Kenny and Derek are here for football. Oh, yeah, I don't want to be rude,

but I was trying to write a book. But no, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Try to cook fucking chicken tenders on a grill with gasoline. Go ahead. Jealousy was the one thing I didn't expect you to say.

Well, to write that well, and that whole paragraph I was starting to read where she's doing this out of a necessity to maintain some semblance of what sanity she thought she had, she had to write. to talk about, no, I'm not writing for anyone else but me. Like, you're embarrassed about people that might read this, which I understand as a comic. And every comic out there who writes anything in a notebook is secretly terrified that someone will one day find their notebook and they'll be, shut it. Stop. Perfect timing, Drew.

Shut it. Stop. Perfect. I'll fix... Bingo. You had to go through this, because you have... Aside from the manic depression, bipolar,

schizoaffective, you're also OCD, which I think is a bullshit kind of thing. I hear too. I hear you. Go ahead. But when I was reading this, things that I know you have proclivities about, where you're like, I can't even deal with that.

with that where i ocd is just annoyance amplified where you talk in the book about you just the color of the pen you have you have a blue pen and you hate it and the type of paper you have to write on is some dollar store shit you've made aier. Yes. He wrote down dollar store brand of shit and go into how France must have such better paper because they're exporting the shit paper to Dollar General. It's very fucking funny. But you talk about bubble writing. Someone wrote in bubble writing and you hate that.

And I have the same weird shit with you know open mouth chewing or underhanding the toilet paper yeah i go in after football or something and someone's put a new roll of toilet paper on but they underhanded it well yeah no you overhand i don't trust anyone who underhands the toilet paper but i that's an annoyance for me for you i can go to work that day i don't curl up fetal in a ball because someone has underhanded the toilet paper so that's what ocd that's it's annoyance amplified to a point you can't function. Debilitating. Yes. What's your OCDs?

No, you don't want to talk about it? No. She wants out? She wants out of this hole. No, I think she just realized she's the one who's been underhanding the toilet paper. Oh, that's a thing? What? There's a thing? What? There's a lot of that.

Anyway, just read it. All right, bingo. We're going to let you off the hook. All right. You're wiping drool off your chin. First of all, I was going to say, you've only... Liquid cocaine. Liquid cocaine now is peppermint liquid cocaine now is uh peppermint oils essential oils essential oils is a plug from

bingo peppermint essential oils are are what kept her peppy enough through this podcast to launch her book i take full credit but i do have to say you only had two drinks but you have you pour them in pint glasses you don't really drink anymore so i'm sorry i thought maybe a drink would loosen you up and two made you you were she was mixing vodka with grapefruit perrier and chocolate protein shake well i got control i got confused okay, this is not going to be your best interview ever. I already feel that. I feel that it wasn't my best interview ever.

Thanks for bringing it up, you fucking dickwad. I think it's the best one today. No, really. Alright, Chaley, give them some beats on where to find the book. My book? Yeah, Chaley's got the some beats on where to find the book. My book?

Yeah, Chaley's got the notes here. You got the book right there. The diary is entitled Let Me Out, A Madhouse Diary by Amy Bingo Bingaman. So get that today, November 13th, when this is coming out. All right, I'm reading this. This is Hannigan's notes. I'm looking for bullet points. I'll tell you the easiest way to do this.

Go, do it. Obviously, you can search Bingo's name on Amazon. Eventually, it'll be up there. As of right now, there's going to be a link up. You can pre-order the book from DougStanup.com in the merch area, and Bingo is going to sign some copies. So that's the best place.

And then we'll also put the links out on Twitter and all that. And the follow-up album will come out a few days from that. I think November 16th is the target. And Are You Amused is the name of the album and the album, as far as I'm concerned, only makes sense if you read the diary because it incorporates a lot of this it's like if you another deep track like ninth configuration if you ever heard from the inside by alice cooper i know all of that it was an album he wrote about his time in a mental institution and i know all of that by heart

uh and i talked to him backstage at a concert once and i said that's uh i'm sorry i knew i was gonna get drunk and say all this dumb shit to you just like you guys say to me hey i don't want to be that guy i was that guy to alice cooper hey i know and he said all of that was true uh millie and billy fucking jackknife johnny all these characters bingo brought to life before she uh just got uh shit hammered on the podcast don't worry she's not that retarded in real life. Everyone talks to me after shows. I do bits about bingo on my shows so I don't have to one by one say,

hey, how's bingo doing? Well, she's doing better than she was tonight. Hey. Hey. Hey. No, we gotta do some thank yous. Thank you. I'm stacked deep in thank yous that i have to

throw up but i they're buried in all this shit i've been on the road this is the one that i'm gonna give to you because uh and bingo stay here for this a good friend of ours a killer termite since the uh before killer termites existed days from myspace days, Jen Hollywood, one of us, she got out of jail by agreeing to do six months of forced rehab in Detroit, Highland Park, and she needs cigarettes just like Bingo did. And this is why I'm reading this, because Bingo, in your book, you talked about how important letters were.

Mail was huge. From just your sisters. There was only a few people that talked to you at that point. Mail was huge. It took you through the day. It took you to tomorrow. And what else is huge? Cigarettes.

Oh, yeah. Jen Hollywood, if you're in Highland park michigan just deliver them direct otherwise if you're someone who could just mail some camel crush silvers i'm not going to read the whole letter but she's one of us and she's fucking desperate and she's six months in the hole. So send Jennifer Mifsud, M-I-F-S-U-D, a.k.a. Jen Purplehair. See? She is one of us. Gobble gobble. Jen Mifsud.

Ready for the address? 245 Pitkin, Highland Park, Michigan, 48203. Send it to Jen. Jen Purplehair would appreciate. Or just send her a fucking postcard or a letter because she's stuck there for another five months. She's six months in. She has a list of grievances, a list of demands.

I got it written on the palm of my hands. But we're going to close on Bingo's song Are You Amused Are You Amused By Amy Ding Dong Bing Bong Bingo Bingaman I have declared war against my brain In order to save my mind

The battle wounds don't seem to Bother me so long As long as I know They will heal with time And the scars Rem remind me to appreciate The days I don't have to serve and protect My country, my code, my propensity I'll surrender to laughter over my defect

And the scars remind me And tell me Who might you let into your strange peaking shell? Which hand would you choose to wipe away a tear? What fruit should your weight bear on the whole belly? How would you look upon someone dirtier than you? Are you amused? Why don't you let your feet carry on without a shoe?

Won't you like to see a graveyard? I'll smile the color blue. Does the stain upon your sheet tell a taller tale than you? Where is your virtue in relation to the moon? Are you a mule? On a good day I'll turn blood into a waltz with milk I drink up I'm serving shots of liquid blasphemy But on a better day I might turn milk into whiskey

If you're around, beware I will intoxicate Is mollusk or tiger if we shall collide If mollusk is present present Her shell is hanged to fight But if the tiger takes hold She will crucify If you're around Beware And tell me who might you lend to

Your strange peaking shell Which hand would you choose To walk away a tear What fruit should you wake From the whole belly full How would you look upon Someone dirtier than you Are you immune way a tear? What fruit should you wipe out the whole belly through? How would you look upon someone dirtier than you? Are you a muse?

Why don't you let your feet carry on without a shoe? Would you like to see a graveyard and smile the color blue? Does the stain upon your sheet tell a taller tale than you? Where is your virtue in relation to the moon? Are you amused?

A tightly clenched palm of authority He's been E-D-I-S-A-B-L-E-D However, today she leads me on a path to belief Belief of the other wiser Now 5150 tattoos my left thigh I wear it with a cattail and intrinsic pride For my fellow impatients still locked behind The walls of crazy

And tell me who might you look to In a strange potential Which hand would you choose of crazy and tell me who might you let to your strange potential which hand would you choose to wipe away a tear what fruit should you wager the whole belly how would you look upon someone dirtier than you

are you immune why don't you let you be carried on without you won't you love to feet carry on without shoes? Won't you let it see the graveyard and smile with color blue? Does the stain upon your sheet drill a tall, untailing hue? Where is your virtue in relation to the moon? Are you amused? In a town that held light to your strange creation

Which hand would you shoot to walk away a tear? A fruit to chew away from the whole valley How would you look upon some journey of and you are you? Why don't you let your beauty carry on without you? Would you let your light to the smile that comes with you? The stain of water she telt on your feet Where you are put to my relation to the moon But I'm amused Just try to enunciate more.

Okay. You're sounding a little drunk. Well, I'm nervous. Okay. I'm just saying. Yeah, we'll pace ourselves, but just try to enunciate. Okay. You got it.

All right.