The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #237: The Bingo Audio Book After Party

Episode Date: December 5, 2017

Bingo finishes recording her audio book and Doug talks to her and the crew about the experience. Producer Doug Krebs, Bingo's voice Sarah Hylander, Chad Shank and Chaille are there to fill in the details.This episode is sponsored byProFlowers - To get 20% off all bouquets of $29 or more this holiday season, go to ProFlowers.com, and use promo code “STANHOPE” at checkout.Blue Apron - Blue Apron is treating The Doug Stanhope Podcast listeners, to their first dinner, a $30 value, if you visit BlueApron.com/STANHOPEFOR A LIMITED TIME you can Pre-Order a SIGNED copy of Doug's NEW book, " This Is Not Fame: A "From What I Re-Memoir"" at - http://bit.ly/2AwBH3yBingo's book "Let Me Out: A Madhouse Diary" is now available at http://www.bingobingaman.com/Recorded Nov. 26th, 2017 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Chad Shank (@HDFatty), Bingo (@bingobingaman), Doug Krebs, Sarah Hyland (@SarahHylander), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.You will never miss out on Stanhope's 2018 Tour Dates if you get on the Mailing List. http://www.dougstanhope.com/Closing song, “Peach Pie”, by Amy “bingo” Bingaman. Available on iTunes.LINKS:Chad Shank Voice Over info at AudioShank.comSupport the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

It's the Bingo audiobook afterparty at the Funhouse with Bingo Bingaman, Sarah Highlander as Bingo Bingaman. Yeah. You narrated the book and Doug Krebs, who not only did the audiobook, he also... He did R.M. Amuse, my entire album. How many years ago? What did we work out? 11? 11, yeah.M. Muse, my entire album. How many years ago? What did we work out?

11? 11, yeah. 11. And Chad Shank, of course. Chaley will dip in and out. So you're just wrapping up? Yeah. All right.

Let's start here. Your dad came down. Why are we starting here? Because your dad came down. Why are we starting here? Because your dad came down. You were going to read the book yourself. Oh, yeah. No. Dad is an old Toastmasters guy.

And he... Your dad is very funny. Yeah. He reads publicly a lot. And so I worked out some stuff in front of him. And I couldn't do anything he said. I didn't know what he was talking about. I fucked up every line.

I read too fast. I was a mess. I was a fucking tard. So your dad had to tell you you're not cut out for the job. No, I told myself I wasn't cut out for the job before anybody else did. That's good. It's good to be self-aware. Absolutely.

Everybody else will bullshit you. I told them this morning when I talked to Big Orr there, I'm like Doug. I go, if something sucks, you have to say, this sucks and this is why. You can't sugarcoat it and say, let's redo that again another time. There would have had a lot of sugar on my read if I would have read it. Not good. Well, I

kind of teased it with you when you were dead set on doing it yourself. I said, but if you didn't, who would you choose? The people we know. And who I said was Margot Wallenberg,

motherfuckers. Who sounds like Chad Shank doesn't really work. I had no one in the beginning. Yeah, I was just, I was feeling you out. I didn't want to say you shouldn't do this. I knew it would take a lot of work if you did want to do it, because you're not a,

you're a fucking writer. Last night, I tell Bingo, don't look at comments. And someone on Facebook, you had tweeted a photo of Sarah narrating your book. Uh-huh. And some fuckhead says, wait, you can write a book, but you can't even read it? Like, this is why I say don't read comments. Who is this guy?

So for five minutes, you're fucking apoplectic. Yeah, and then I got over it. For five minutes, I was pissed, yeah. But if you keep reading them, you're going to have a lot of five minutes. Oh, no, I do know that. A lot of times, you'll find an insult where there wasn't one. Well, the thing is, my book, in my book, if you've read the fucking book, I insult myself enough

and say I can't read out loud. In my book, I talk about it. So go fuck yourself. You didn't even read my book. Sorry. So you realize it's not your gig, and it's not. You can't read a book.

Well, there's acting chops on some level that come into it that I don't even have. That's why I have Chad Shank fucking read half of my book. I was about to chime in for Bingo, because he does kind of seem like he's picking on you. But whenever we did Stan Hope's book, the producer from Audible, Bruce, halfway through, he came outside and he goes,

I'm really glad you're here to do this because there's no way we could get this done in four days if Stan Hope was doing it. Fucking terrible read. Just doing the foreword for your book, stuttering and quivering, and no, I can hear my own fucking sloppy mouth. It's just awful.

I put an extra mic on your heartbeat just so we can kind of fade that in it sometimes. Telltale hearts. Is he reading Poe or Bingo? Poe. That way you can kind of gauge whether or not the situation is getting more crazy or not, you know. The heartbeat, heart races. How much advance notice did she give you, Sarah? I don't know whose idea it was.

It was my idea. I called Doug first. We got dates. And then I called you and I begged. I think you didn't. Nah. It was like three days before. Okay.

Three days notice. Can I have you for an entire week, please? Yeah. No, it was like three. No, it was like three days before the big Thanksgiving holiday, which gave me three days to cancel my plane tickets. She had completely changed my plans. I seem a little passive-aggressive, but I know there's love in the room.

No, I totally didn't care. What did I say? I was like, fuck yeah. I did. Well, you just started doing voiceover recently anyway, so it kind of fell into your... My fucking lap. No, I knew I was going to do it.

The fact that Bingo was calling, when your name came up, I was like, fuck. I was immediately excited. So anything you would have said, I've been like, yeah. So it didn't matter. Anything?

No. Anything? She sees Bingo's number come up on her phone, she's like, oh fuck, Doug's dead. Here's the call. Patricia would have called me first if I'm sure no

I changed my ticket like that day and that was it well Sarah's not only a comedian you also do improv character

shit anyway so alright this is the perfect person cause we're going through comedians people we know are good on mic. And we love each other from the first minute we met. I wanted her.

But, yeah, once we realized, oh, shit, that's perfect because you can do characters. No, you can't do bingo necessarily, but you... She's doing bingo. Yeah, and I think the great thing about it is that she's doing bingo from the time of the book and the diary actually being taken. It's like a time capsule hearing her voice on it. Bingo is 27.

Does that make sense? Yes, you know, it makes perfect sense. Sarah, is that why you shaved your head? A method, motherfucker. Real method. I chew niggerette all day long. I almost said niggerette.

You said niggerette. Thanks, Chad Shank. Chad Shank just glued a straw to his forehead. Chad Shank just went to lean into his drink, and the straw went under the front of his cap on his forehead. It was a visual joke that was only funny that I was trying to show it to Shaley,

but everybody else saw it, and the straw fell off. But it wasn't even pointed at the straw. Can I get a straw on unrelated notes? Sarah, I love that you said that. He had to point at the straw. It's like, hey, do you see anything different about my face? Look at my straw. Now body surf that drink

back to me and I'll refill it. Oh yeah, I got a straw and no booze. Fuck. My priorities are all fucked up. It's an after party. Nobody saw the straw. It's in my hat. Straw and hat hat Pretty fucking good How'd you do that?

Accidentally So you only had Three days to start to read the book You had to read as you went Every night Four days you knocked this out Yeah Yeah

So Yeah we were reading it I'm boring now So I don't have any you get a lot of free time smoke or drink what the fuck else am i gonna do with my time yeah there's no meeting around here no i take a break for a fucking trail mix chew and a carrot, then we're back on. There's nothing that exciting in my life. Is this the first audio book that you've done then since you started voiceover?

Well, I was telling him, who was I telling him? I was like, man, I've never even read a book. He's like, she's from Kentucky. No, she came in and she said,

what language is this written in? I just forgot the last part of audio. Don't put that on your resume. Done on. Never read a book. Well, I just forgot the last trail off, which is on audio. I just said, I've never read a book.

It said, no shit. I was like, it's going to be great. No, I've never read a book on audio ever. It's amazing. But it's literally she's sitting in the room next to me. So it's not. She high pressures the shit out of the situation. I'll tell you right now.

She sits there right next to you. She just stares at you. Just staring at you. Get it right. Get it right, motherfucker. I only had. The best part of the whole day, though, is when Bingo brought in her glass,

and what did you have, like vodka and something? I don't know, you made yourself a cocktail. Oh, yeah. And she brought it in, and all of a sudden, Doug goes, hey, guys, does anybody have a glass in there with ice in it? Wait, Doug, hang on. Doug is Doug Krebs, so refer to him as Krebs. Yeah, no, Stan Hope Doug is Doug Krebs So refer to him as Krebs

Stan Hope would know Krebs Who the fuck is drinking? She was like, oh my bad, I'm going to put this down here Hold on Yeah, I think we had just gotten another Dogging bark, or barking dog Episode, whichever it was

Just passed us, so we were freshly rolling In a nice Quiet environment It's funny because we call that the quiet house It was just past us, so we were freshly rolling in a nice, quiet environment. It's funny because we call that the quiet house. That's where we go. Which it normally is, yeah. But you're still closer to Coyotes and Javelina because that's right at the fucking desert. We had some Javelina stops and we had some helicopter stops there.

Crazy. Yeah, usually you hear the helicopters around here, and it's like mash where, oh, my God, there's some big city action going on. There's a helicopter for some reason. I didn't hear it, but I slept a long, long time today. Yeah, I came over. I only had to read, what, two paragraphs for the foreword. You did great.

Well, you came in and sat down next to me. To make sure you would do great. But, oh, she... Every little stutter that I have... No, not stutter, when you fucked up the words. Yeah, it's the... No, it is a thing. You forgot it is a Yeah, it's the... No, it is a thing. You forgot it is a thing.

It's a... I said it's a... Like that... And now you only had to do two paragraphs. That's how perfect our audio book is going to be. I know. That's why I want Sarah to be honest and say, how many times did you just grab the table and go,

I think I got it fucking... We loaded a flare gun and pointed it at the bongos just in case something needed to be let off. De-stressing. Oh, God. That's why I hate the fact that you're sober because you won't be honest.

It's not true. There had to be a few times where you go, just come on. How fucking perfect does it need to be? That's not true, man. I would say things in the microphone. Not directed towards bingo. She's also sitting right in front of you.

Again. And arms length away. No. Definitely smacking length. No, not at all. No. Sarah, just give us the top 50 annoying things. Top 50 annoying things.

No, I mean, they're not annoying, Bingo. You can say whatever you want. Bingo's glaring at you, so please do it. You have to understand that Bingo put all of this together herself. I know. At the last minute. You should be proud of yourself. You did all of this when I was

on the road, fucking collapsing near organ failure. You did this all yourself. And you always hate it when I try to make you the brunt of a joke. So here we go. There was six cocks in your mom's ass I always

I usually wake up by just giving bingo shit she's usually at the quiet house I'm here on the floor or somewhere and I call her up and I tell her hey your mother called and she's got 17 black dicks stuck in her asshole.

They're bringing the jaws of life. Did you call? Just whatever. And then I'd steal her jokes, and I'd steal her nomenclature. Don't bather me. That's my fucking word, yo. So a couple mornings in a row, I... No, tell him about the package.

What did I say? You got a package waiting for you here, so I'm stoked and ready to come over. She loves packages. I do. She loves gifts. She loves mail. Go ahead. But there were 12 dicks and 12 black dicks.

In the package that came from your mom's fucking asshole. I don't know what I said. It's a different one every day, but it's always the same theme. So a couple of mornings. I cannot stand you talking about my mother's vagina. It makes me insane. you talking about my mother's vagina. It makes me insane.

So for two mornings in a row, I call her up and tell her how proud I was of her, how she's doing such a great job. I thought you were going to kill me. But why are you being so nice to me? Yeah, she said, are you going to kill me today? He's going to kill me.

Because he's doing nothing but being sweet to me. And then I guess it was pretending to call Sarah, who is reading bingo, and I did all this shit on a fake phone call. Hey, Sarah, your mother called. That's my mom's vagina. My mom's vagina. Sarah, your mother called. She has 18 dicks. That's my mom's vagina.

My mom's vagina. All of a sudden, she's jealous because I'm abusing someone else. No, that's me. You did that to me. I got her on a turnaround there. See what I did? All right, so let's get back to bingo being annoying. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

She was fantastic. She didn't give me any corrections at all in the two paragraphs I had to read. Oh, we correct you behind your back, but we wait until you're far out of the city limits. I specifically instructed them to correct me in front of my face because of that reason. instructed them to correct me in front of my face because of that reason i did i'm just curious who they're bringing in to do chad's read of bingo's read who who's actually the person that's going to do the read what no chad was doing uh she uh oh playing parts yeah okay yeah no i paragraph

there's a couple paragraphs that aren't Bingo's voice that she asked me to come and do. Bingo, explain. Yeah. Voorhees. No, not Voorhees. Voorhees. Voorhees.

Voorhees is Jason Voorhees. I have this part where I quote Borges' story, Dream Tigers, and I write Robin something right after it, and I need it to be known what the story is. So she takes a passage from an author. Like an interlude. Yes. I don't know what that word means, but it sounds right.

I have someone else read anything that I didn't write, and then Sarah reads all of me. Does she do it? I want to hear. I don't want to put you on the spot. We work as a team. Like, for instance, there was the word neither, and I say it neither. So she's saying it exactly how I would say things.

It's fucking perfect. All right. How about we take a quick break because pizza just showed up. Okay. And I'm going to find just a little chunk of your book. Please don't. Please don't? Please don't.

This is what Olivia Grace said before she played here. All right. Please don't. All right, I won't. Please don't? Please don't. This is what Olivia Grace said before she played here. All right. Please don't. All right, I won't. Ask me before page 134. We'll still take a break, so you guys eat pizza. We'll be right back. Pro Flowers, ladies and gentlemen, it just showed up at our door,

and we didn't order it. We're as surprised as you would be. I believe this came from Audioboom. I don't know what they do for us, but they do something for us and they're great at it. But this is not about them. This is about Pro Flowers. This is about just a regular December evening, not a holiday. It's a Friday. It's a holiday to you, but we live better than that. And we still get flowers. Oh my goodness. Those are roses. Those are straight up roses.

Isn't that like a come on? Like aren't roses something that we could, like we work for audio boom or do they work for us or do we work for that? Can we like, is this a gaffe where we can say, Hey, I was uncomfortable. If you had sent rhododendrons, then I would have been fine.

But roses is more of an intimate thing, and we have a working relationship. And where are my pants? It's a white rose, and I believe, isn't that? No, there's red and white. All right. I've got one. It's friendship, though. White roses?

White rose. White roses. Okay. Well, one of us is getting harassed. Thanks for being part of the campaign. Your friends at ProFlowers and AdResults Media. That's the connection with. All right.

All right. Well, here's the thing. I just opened those flowers. And sure, I hurled some accusations of harassment but I was certainly wooed I'm gonna have to admit in the end I was wooed you know who else sexually harassed John Cusack

in Say Anything he's standing outside with a boombox playing the song for the girl he can't take no for an answer he's a stalker but eventually if he had just pro flowers, he could have sent flowers, not been on the property, not broke any restraining order. Can you mail things or have things mailed with a restraining order? These are bullet points we need to talk to pro flowers.

They're not in our copy. Okay. Get back to us, pro flowers. They're not in our copy. Okay. Get back to us, Pro Flowers. Get your legal team to get with our legal team and let them have lunch and tell us restraining order. Holiday season, Chaley.

Yes. It's the holiday season and a bouquet or a festive plant from Pro Flowers is perfect because it's not the same old traditional gift. It just says more. And I know you're scrunching your face on this, but think it this way because i mean flowers it's classic but what about instead of bringing in creamed spinach to oh you mean for christmas for christmas dinner yeah i should have said that first yeah instead of flowers send flowers the day before and then they don't have to worry about a centerpiece come the day of the of the get together and it's all about you. Exactly. I sent those. Oh, yeah.

Oh, those are nice flowers, Sharon. Oh, I sent those. Those aren't Sharon's. Those are mine. The beauty of Pro Flowers is you could order right now and send it to be delivered the day before the festive event. Okay, here we go. Christmas party. Office Christmas party.

Come on, tell me this won't pay off for the rest of the year. Two bouquets of flowers. You said one to the boss from Sharon saying, I like to watch. Wink. And then one to the boss or to Sharon from the boss that says, watch me, Jack. Wink. Yeah, that night at the company Christmas party, you just sit back and you watch sparks fly. Yes.

And it probably will roll on well into the next year with legal issues. And I'm spitballing. Yeah, your phrasing should vary. Yeah, tweet me your ideas of what to do this holiday season with ProFlowers. How to get in the most trouble with one bouquet of flowers delivered. Hey, no matter which you choose, the listeners of the podcast are going to get 20%

off any ProFlowers bouquet or plant of $29 or more. And right now is a perfect time. The best selling candy cane roses are a great option for a holiday gift as well as the classic mini Christmas tree. Oh, that's what these are, candy cane roses. White and red.

I get it now. I get it. I get it. But the other one is the, I didn't even know about this one, the mini Christmas tree that comes with lights and an ornament. I guess we'll get that tomorrow. Thanks, Pro Flowers in advance. And as always, Pro Flowers bouquets and plants are guaranteed to stay fresh and you control the delivery date. Like I said earlier, big, beautiful flowers, more stems for your money and long lasting freshness.

Doug, what's the deal? To get 20% off all bouquets of $29 or more this holiday season, go to ProFlowers.com and use my code Stanhope at checkout. That's ProFlowers.com and code Stanhope at checkout. That's proflowers.com and code Stanhope. You saved me last night. Why? I'm in the middle of, uh, uh,

just started getting a cold. I thought, again, this is a good time to quit smoking. When you have a cold, you don't want them as much. And, uh,

kind of cheating. Yeah. But then have a cold, you don't want them as much. It's kind of cheating. Yeah, but then after a few days without cigarettes, then you start getting an appetite because then I don't drink. And if I don't drink and I don't smoke, I start getting an appetite. And you don't know how much I don't eat when I'm drinking and smoking. So I started getting hungry, and I had, had like half of an old white castle i found in the freezer the frozen one yeah it wasn't like half but they come like in twos yeah it was always it's the worst food ever if you could call it food and i had opened i only wanted one because

in the on a good day i could live a whole day on one slider and now that i'm kind of healthy except for the dying of this uh syphilis flu syphilis flu yeah syphilis flu yeah yeah starve a fever uh feed a syphilis flu what do you know as i'm microwaving that and it's still freezer burned even when it's hot. That's when Chaley comes up with, guess what? Blue apron. It was good last night. Oh, it was good. Yeah. I just did three days of potatoes.

I didn't ask a lot of questions. I just started shoveling food in my mouth. What I love about this one is this is one of the quick ones and it's one pan. So less dishes, right? That's the whole thing is I make a big mess. Because I do it like you're a guest chef on the Today Show. Like the curry powder's in this thing. And I've got all these things.

That turns into a fucking million things to wash at the end. Yeah, you don't have to do that. But you like to do that. But the people that complain about it are the people that aren't cooking and are not washing. They're watching me going like, what's this mess? Where's the film crew? Right? So I've distilled it down, doing way less.

And it's even quicker. You know, there are parties. I get a bunch of candy and snacks and I put every one in. I could just, these people are animals at my house. They don't need it in a little serving dish of sugar babies. It could be a trough for all intents and purposes. You could mix the chips with the gummy bears, and they'd eat it all together in one handball. So, yeah, last night's was a one-pan spicy Alaskan pollock, and it had jasmine rice in there and the broccoli.

It was so good, and it's so easy. We just put it all together. It's easier when you do it for me. It's very, very much easier when I do it. And then the cleanup is, other than the little ramekins that I put the spices in, is the pan. Super simple and delicious. Yes.

I would suggest going to your local supermarket, buying a pan, cooking on it, and then returning it, saying, hey, there was wild Alaskan Pollock all over my pan when I bought it. This didn't taste right. Can I get a refund? And then they'd lick it and say, tastes perfect. Is that Blue Apron? Blue Apron is treating Doug Stanhope podcast listeners to their first dinner, a $30 value, free.

What's that? I was like amping up drama for how much it's going to cost. Treating you to your first dinner free! Free! That's right. If you visit blueapron.com slash Stanhope slash Stanhope that's important.

$30 value. You can probably sell it on StubHub for $25. But you're going to want to eat it. You won't put it back outside the door. You can't scalp Blue Apron. That's true. You know what I love?

I got to tell you, this is an unintended benefit of Blue Apron, is the boxes, they have a fixed lid, so it opens up, kind of like a jewelry box or something. Ta-da. Ta-da. And it is perfect after you're done enjoying your blue apron. Does it have a crank on the side? No, it should. That would be talking about ramping up.

Pollock. I use that for storage, the boxes. I recycle. I reuse them. All the Halloween stuff we used or that we had out in the yard. Small little compartments. You say recycle. You mean hoard.

Well, no. We reuse all the Halloween stuff every year. All right. So I need a good box, and I need small boxes because I got to go down through that little... I'm trying to get hoarders on track with the Blue Apron. Blue Apron, ladies and gentlemen. I see where you're going now. Check out this week's menu and get your $30 off with free shipping at blueapron.com slash stanhope.

Hey, here's just a few of the ones that are coming up. Baked tilapia and creamy kale with fragola sarda pasta. I have no idea what that is, but every pasta I've had has been amazing. Say it in any accent you can pull off and say it quickly and gesticulate and a chick will go, wow, this guy knows his shit. Confidence, yeah. Oh, the fragola pasta? Yeah. I fucked it up. See? And you wouldn't...

You already said yes! It's a fragola sarda pasta, sir. Is that what you meant to say? Fragola sarda. Do it in a fucking Nazi accent. You can do it whatever. Still sounds good. As long as you sell it with confidence.

Hey, there's also the chili butter steaks with lemon, parmesan, broccoli. This is a horrible read. Why did I... Butter steaks. Well, I saw butter treaks. It reminded me of Ronnie the limo driver. Let's just go to the next one. Butter steaks.

Come on. All you have to say is butter steaks go to the next one. Butter steaks. Come on. All you have to say is butter steaks and people are on board. We've talked about this before. All the way back to when we first started with Blue Apron. They've been our sponsor for a year now. The thing we learn with Blue Apron is the spices, is the different flavors that you add. And it's not hard. It's all right there, right in the box.

So when it's chili butter steaks with lemon, Parmesan, broccoli, and potatoes, I know that chili is going to be something I probably haven't had before. All right. Like the ancho chili. That was in the Pollock last night. Also, creamy tomato pasta with mushrooms and collard greens. Would you ever buy collard greens? No.

No, not unless I was. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Thank you for that. I don't have to edit. I was trying to make a good times joke, but I didn't have it. I told you I'm sick. Hey, there's three different plans right now.

The two-person meal plan, which serves two people, and you get to choose from eight recipes a week. There's also the family meal plan, which serves four people and four new recipes a week. Or what also the family meal plan, which serves four people and four new recipes a week. Or what we talked about last month, the wine plan. And that's six bottles of wine from renowned winemakers delivered monthly. Six little mini bottles for two people. You make your pick.

Either way. First, dinner free. Blueapron.com slash Stanhope. Blue Apron. A better way to cook. All right, let me stop to say, buy my goddamn book. Order it now at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com if you don't want us to get credit going towards that New York Times bestseller list

that we're right on the precipice of, I'm sure. But we could be because I just get the hard copy. Oh, my God. The stories that I did tell. I have stories that really who how many accusers? I have actual pictures. I've never been happier to promote a book in the tease to this. Get the book. That's the only way you're a book in the tease to this. Get the book.

That's the only way you're going to see the picture of me. I can't have that many pictures of this type of situation. I already have a whole chapter. And then there's another chapter where it was a different day and age, I guess. Because I'm an old man. And Bingo's book, which is beating my book in the fucking Amazon sales ratings. Yeah, her book is available at her new website, bingobingaman.com. And that also goes through us.

But hers only goes through us. Yeah, snatching all those profits. Fuck her. She's retarded. You can also buy it on Amazon. But right now, Bingo's signing them. Signing all the books. Oh, she's been signing them all day. She's retarded. You can also buy it on Amazon, but right now, Bingo's signing them. Signing all the books. Oh, she's been signing them all day.

That's what I'm saying. Putting little treasures in books. Look what I did. And I signed it like this. Bingo's putting little cute notes and little fucking stickers or some shit in there. What else does she have?

That's on Bingo. That's all her. That's how she feels during the day. Yeah, and eventually we'll both have audio books out. But as you know, if you read and listened to the first one, they're a little different. They're both challenging. All right, thank you. Let's get back to this podcast before I shit my pants.

shit my pants. Hey, we're rolling. Are we rolling? We are rolling. All right, we're back. Back from break. Back from break. Back from Borderland Bread Pizza,

Joby's Pizza. Delicious. The fucking best pizza. And Jonathan. And Jonathan. You started it. Jonathan hopped on board and we're going to make him

dress up in a pizza mascot outfit when he sells it. All right, bingo's back. Sarah Silverman. Go with that. Let's go with that. We'll go with it. All right, great.

Sarah Silverman, check. On board. Sarah Highlander. I tried to get everybody high and nobody got high with that. We'll go with it. All right, great. Sarah Silverman, check. I'm bored. Sarah Highlander. I tried to get everybody high, and nobody got high with me. So I can attest to the fact nobody's more high. Sarah Highland, previously Highland, H-Y-L-A-N-D. Well, there's an actress. Yeah.

I still don't know what. Yeah. We still don't. All right. She's a modern family. Modern family. Yeah. All right, so you're kind of fucked when people try to Google search you.

Yes. So we talked you into changing it to Sarah Highlander. Yes. More Highland. More Highland than... Highland. Yeah. Yeah.

And that was about a year ago? Math. Or more? It was about a year or so. Whatever. And that was about a year ago? Math. Or more? It was about a year or so ago. Whatever. Has it worked? Because that's your Twitter, at Sarah with an H, Highlander with a Y. Has it worked?

Yeah. Doug. Are more people finding you? What does that mean? I don't think so, but it's okay. Has it stuck with people that you know? No one's calling you Highlander? No.

No, people, no. Usually people that know me just call me Sarah Highland. Just both names together. Still not helping. Still not helping, no. So I've actually, I just go by Sarah Hyland. It doesn't matter. When people call Bingo Amy, what?

Amy? It's like when someone calls me Doug. They just call me Stanhope. So, anyway. Douglas. As long as you differentiate yourself. Douglas. They can find you now at Sarah Hylander.

Yeah. Yeah, that's still there. Is your Facebook? Sarah Hylander. All right that's still there. Is your Facebook? Sarah Highlander. All right, you changed all of it up. Is there anyone who can't find you now because you're no longer Sarah Highlander? I'm crushing.

Through all those eggs right in that basket. Fuck. I got famous right away. You got this gig. Four new followers? Yeah, I did. You'll get at least four more. Four more. After got this gig. Four new followers? Yeah, I did. You'll get at least four more after this comes out.

That's what's happening. My mom, my dad. He goes high on eating a block of cheese like an apple. She's just gnawing on a giant block of cheese. It's certified red cheese. That's why it hurts me to watch you gnaw on it.

Like it's a block of butter. Bingo butter cheese. I ain't yo' dad. Oh, fuck. I don't even know what that means. One of the great sacrifices of this project so far has been giving up the T-shirt that says, I love Butter Cheeks. We traded it for a studio monitor rental, and it worked out great for the production end of things.

But I don't know about the wardrobe side. I think it's a loss. Krebs is a professional. When we did my audio book, we did it podcast style. Where if dogs bark in the background, fuck it. They're over at the quiet house. They're tacking up fucking comforters to the

walls to make a perfect studio. Yeah. We were just sweating like fucking bastards in this room for hours on end. No nothing. Watching me stutter. Bad reads.

The sweat brings out the best in you, though. It's kind of like the panic attacks I started having where you go, okay, once I stutter through a line, now I'm afraid of stuttering. I stutter more and I fuck it up worse because I'm afraid of doing that. I told you I was nervous going to read a couple of things for bingo earlier.

Was it the guillotine in the corner that we had set up? The whole atmosphere. You don't want to fuck a bingoist fucking project. But I didn't coming into your project, I was way fucking project but i i didn't coming into your project i was way fucking laid back because i didn't know what i was doing i was nervous i just had to read the forward i was nervous because i knew all the work they put in oh we had to quit because uh dogs were barking

at fucking javelina like wow krebs is gonna take this too seriously, and I just get out of bed. Doug, you got nervous reading what you wrote? Yeah. All right. Just want to clarify that. The fur was you penned it. Krebs there, and I got bingo sitting next to me, comes in chewing fucking gum. I took it out.

Yelling at me. It's a different atmosphere. One of the clips from Doug's book that I used as one of my demos actually has me referring to the dogs as the dogs start barking in the background. I thought that was really like a production value type thing. I didn't know that it was. Well, Bingo would do what you hate in a producer in that she'd go, no, say it this way. And I'd go, oh, I'm sorry. And she'd go, it's okay.

Like talking down to you. It's not. It is. It's different different you fucker You're right but when I say I'm sorry you'd go It's okay don't worry I think you're right That is your position as director

It's my job She said it better just then when she goes It is it is you fucker Not like it's okay Let's just try We'll take a soft five and we'll come back and go we'll start on everyone positions a you're doing great you're doing great you just ruined that line you're doing great i i definitely referenced you right away i said i'm

more like stanhope if you if it's fucked up tell me what it's fucked up because you said it like this stupid say it like this instead so that's it like this instead. So I'm good at my fucking job. That's way more helpful than... And that's why... When I did Louis C.K.'s show, Louis... Exactly what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking when I said it, yeah. I want to know how many people, with all the outrage about Louis C.K., have scrubbed their name from the resume if they did the show?

I'm outraged. This is wrong. It's still on my IMDb page, though. It's still there. I did a great job on Louis' show. You still want the credit for it. But that's true. He'd just go, what are you fucking doing?

You go, oh, I'm sorry'm sorry yeah do it like that buckhead he wasn't that coarse I wish he was but do you need that how was your experience with bingo did she no but I was like Chad like I asked

her like I wanted her to tell me it's her story like I asked her. I wanted her to tell me. It's her story. It's her. If I'm sitting right next to her and I'm doing something, if I pronounce the word, I had to really hone in my accent for all of it. Very Kentucky. All of it. I had to really pay attention that I don't say as, like ah.

I have to say it like aye. Really hook them. Hook them. Aye hook them i you know what i mean and then she's like i say other she says either see see how that goes there yes so that's why it was but she has a whole way of and she made up words she has words in her own vocabulary that she's made up that when I would look at them, I'd be like, bingo, what is that? Verbalology.

And I was like, I don't know what that is. Verbituration. Verbituration. Verbituration. You just made a word. Verbalology. They're totally in sync.

101. New course. Twinsies. So no. Yeah, like that it's her own world so I have to ask her but that's the benefit

of getting to work with the person who wrote it is to like how did you make this how did you make this to sound kind of dope

I meant it to sound like this yeah I mean because there's some people that sit in a tube and they've never met the person

and they just gotta read it but like literally she's sitting right there. Which is nice. Do you respond better? Like you audition for parts. You know that

Hollywood bullshit. No, you did a really great job. We'll get back to you. Do you respond better and not, let's leave Bingo out of this. Would you respond better in not let's leave bingo out of this would you respond better to someone in an audition going what's what's that fucking accent no yes i've had that do you need a soft hand no i do no i even but that's what i said um to doug krebs like i because

at the end of it like at the first I think they were being really nice to me but then like and I know it sucked you know I was like this is terrible

but then like towards the end Krebs was just like okay look I'm gonna be a little more specific now um I'm worried

what's going what you're doing wrong here not wrong but like but yeah I mean like I like that. Just don't fuck with me. No way is the time.

Just tell me. I don't care. I'd rather sit here for four hours and do it right than to be jerked off and fucking leave and nobody gives a shit. Amy brought you in this project for a reason. Your voice and your accent is part of what she brought you in for. But I realized...

We didn't try to delete that. I did have to change my accent, though. Yes. I did realize that. Certainly pronunciation on certain words. We were going to try to just read it as is. But then I was like, oh, fuck. Nobody understands this banjo with a fucking mouth.

So I had to literally hone it in. Yeah. The regular Sarah Highlander is a slurring Kentucky drawl. It's true. Kara Highlander is a slurring Kentucky drawl. It's true. Like, she could, if someone fell out a bird cloud, she could fill in as the name. I want to know what that is.

I love that Doug still can't use their names because he doesn't know the names of the girls in Bird Cloud. Bird Cloud? I love that she just confused that as I'm laughing. Should I not have said that? I don't know what bird cloud is. Sorry. Uh-oh.

Bird cloud is a two rural Tennessee. They're a duo band. We'll show you the video of Vodka Soda Berg after this. Actually, we'll close on that. Because when you see them, you'll go, oh, yeah, if I had to fill in for one of those, because one of them was canceled due to exhaustion, you'd go, yeah, I could do either part. Okay. I'm excited.

Can you not see her as someone in Bird Cloud? Bingo. I'll give you $100. You can name both of the girls in Bird Cloud. Come on, man. Mackenzie? Is that open to all of us? Oh, wait.

Fuck. See, I only have one number. Hold on. Am I giving you $100 or are we betting $100? Oh, you're going to fucking Matt Becker me? No, I won't 10 to 1 you. No, it's Jasmine and Mackenzie. Ah, fuck.

No, I don't need the money. I'll give you the money. No, the point is I have bird cloud in my phone. If I talk to them, if I text or call, I don't know which one I'm talking to. It's bird cloud. Separate but equal. Well, no, they're not separate.

That's the way I read their tweets. They tweet as Bird Cloud. Stupid. I don't have a favorite. You mean their PR person does. Big time. I can't wait. I assume.

No, I assume it's one of them. Come on. You bought that? They don't have PR people? I assume. No, I assume it's one of them. Come on. You bought that? They don't have PR people? Well, they might have someone, but it's definitely one of them. Spinner McKenzie answers the phone. And that's it.

Next, you can convince him that I have somebody tweeting for me. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of gigs where Jasmine goes, wait, we're playing where? It's like, no, I booked it. It's like, tonight? All right, I'll give you that. I know both their names, but I'm not sure which one's which. Oh!

I already gave you the $100, though. That wasn't part of the bet. We'll give it back to you. You don't have to give it back. It's a dead heat. We're even because you'll never guess. Which one plays the crotch harmonica? The crotch monocan?

Is that what you said? She's making words like crazy. She's been hanging out so long. She's been hanging out so long with bingo. She can't even stop it. Crotch monocan. She was so appalled by the words she made up, too. That was the best part. What?

Crotch Monacans? Are you kidding me? I got the titles of the podcast. Crotch Monacans. If this were Thanksgiving where we drifted from comedy into karaoke, it would be great to see Bingo and Highlander doing bird cloud at karaoke. Except for the crotch harmonica. Not a crotch harmonica.

Crotch monica. Crotch monica, man. Crotch harmonica. Crotch harmonica? Yeah, you just ruined it. Everything's ruined. Sorry. Audiobook Krebs.

Audiobook. You have to go back and edit this. And Bingo is going to come up because she's going to put. There are clips from her album that are based exclusively on jive talk from crazies in the mental institution. They're lyrics that are based on just verbigeration from other people that would talk in kind of lyrically, crazy lyrically. So when you hear the music, really in my head you have to read the diaries to understand the album go ahead i i uh doug and i crabs and i have talked a little bit

uh i don't the timeline the book was written when you were locked up, Bingo, over 12 years ago. Oh, four. So how long after that was the music recorded? Oh, six. I think that we were finishing it in oh, six. So very close, that timeline. So the music is coming out. The fact that they're coming out together is pretty amazing because then the book and the music are aligned.

But the music has been done for a long time. I mean, I've played every time we do something. But what I'm saying is those things are parallel in that two years apart. But it's been 10 and 12

years since everything was actually written down. And it's all coming out at the same time. Yeah, it's exceptional, yeah. Didn't know if we had the timeline. And Krebs has been here the whole time. You've known Krebs since well before any of this, right? I don't know when we met. It's been a while.

Do you tell the story about you booking Krebs in Bisbee? Oh, no. Okay, we got to do that. Krebs, give us some background on you. In 2005, is that what you're talking about? Before that, how do you know Bingo? Because she can't remember. Through Robin. Actually, I moved into Bingo's

old room. Saxophone Rob. We talked about him on the podcast. He plays on the album. He plays all over the album. Quite a bit, yeah. I met him in Portland randomly through playing at this kind of hole in the wall okay by the way robin is also throughout the book that was the guy that carried

you in a ball gown into a wyoming mental institution and said i don't know what else to do here you go and so he's in the, what? Here, you throw this away. Bingo. It's like doing a Hedberg joke. Here, you throw this away. Sorry. Bingo, when you were in a coma and you're kind of coming out of it,

you'd stare at me with the same dazed look, and I would say, Bingo, this is really trying. Can you at least fake a smile? I know. Who got me high? I'm just saying. Not me. Look at me.

Bingo. Your fake smile, you just go like this. Vague, the fakest. A bank teller's purse of the lips. Yeah, straight across. Like when Chad Shank does a British accent. You have a zero bounce. So just smile at me.

All right, I'm just going to not look at you, because I think you're upset all the time. I understand you're high. Anyway. So with meeting Robin, the premise was that we had all met at this, it was like a free jazz night that we did at this place in Portland. And he was driving cab at the time, and so was Chris, who was our roommate. And they would come in when it was slow and come in and sit in on tunes.

And this fellow, Doug Haining, another Doug, he organized the night, and I would come in and play drums sometimes. And that's how I met Robin. Eventually, I moved in with him. I helped work on mixing his band and then eventually

moved into the house with Chris and him. So, mostly a producer. That's what you've done for years. Audio recording. At that time, I think you were just a musician Trying to pick up gigs right? Yeah it was Kind of a lonely night

We'd play and there were a few staple people That would come in to check it out But it was pretty much nonsense music No you said jazz It was free jazz It was a very specific audience. Wait, you're playing or you're... I was playing the drums, yeah.

So in this place, there was almost such a small place, I only brought a couple things there because the stage was really small. You didn't bring your Rototoms? No, I brought the Rototoms back. No bongos? No, but we had a very interesting night of whoever would show up because of that,

because a lot of the people would show up randomly because of other things they were doing. And so that's how I met Rob, and we became very good friends. Let's speed up to when you brought a band to Bisbee. Oh, yes. So that was all on Rob, pretty much. He was like, it was at the time, Rob and Nick O'Gara were also,

he was living in the house, too. And we were all playing in this band called Ape House in Portland, which was the band that I believe you just... Oh, so you were in the band that came to Bisbee. All right. I can't remember. Well, basically what happened was

I traded mixing the record for a month's rent in their house because I was living in my studio in Portland. I think a lot of people listening probably know that kind of situation. Yeah. Or that kind of guy. So they were into it. He was like, hey, do you want to mix this record?

And I was like, that sounds great. And so we traded that. And so at that point, I knew the material and I started playing drums in the band and then we had kind of a bunch of tunes arranged and everything. So Robin was like, hey, it'd be a great idea, we'll go play Stan Hope's

New Year's party. And so Nick and Rob and I drove down here. That was the first year we lived here. That was 2005, I believe. Yeah, right? Or no? Yeah, 2005 was into 6. 2004, 2005 is when you yeah yeah it was new year's eve into 06 there was nothing here there was that house we this house wasn't here for sure this the fun house wasn't here it was just that house we had people sleeping

in the crawl space oh my god which that would be that would be a hostile movie right now yeah no one would do that one of our friends banged two guys Harvey Weinstein style listen James Inman doesn't want his name mentioned on the podcast

so we can't say James Inman in the crawl space I was about to say if you tell this story there's probably charges pending. No, no, no, no. She was the instigator. That doesn't make it okay, Doug Stanhope. It was a lot of fun.

The cops did show up. Later in the evening, as we recall. Later in the morning. Yeah, later in the morning. That's not, we don't count that one. Later in the morning. Yeah, later in the morning. That's not – we don't count that one. But I remember we were fortuitously placed where we're in the guest house

and we could see through the window because we probably didn't have shades or blinds or anything at that point. So they're walking down the driveway just in time for us to put the Coke away in a desk drawer go oh problem officer uh i think what i was way before i was referring to the fact that you had booked uh crab's band as it as it was robin's band well robin's band robin's band at at at the uh the with the stock exchange oh no that was a different thing entirely oh that's what i was talking about no stage or anything we're just playing in the dining room

of the main house which is still a tiny house no he was talking about the uss horse whip experience yeah at the stock exchange yeah no that's what we're getting to that's that was your first time here was our first real party okay sure and then i don't even know about that that's what we're getting to. Oh, okay. That was your first time here, was our first real party here. Okay, sure. And then... I don't even know about that. That's... Later on. Oh, yeah.

The butters in a dress, all that. Yeah, that was a three-day fun time, is what it was. We played for three days straight almost. Yeah. People slept, of course, but... Sometimes. The music was happening. You were playing jazz.

Everyone slept. That's the night we met Joby. Joby showed up because of Myspace, and that's the night we met joey joey showed up because of myspace and that's the night we met joey uh anyway let's fast forward to that was a great night with lots of horns and fucking rob playing saxophone in the living room we went up to the house over there the old school house oh yeah that's right i remember that because it was the weird uh fire starter eight-year-old daughter's birthday, and she was this weird kid.

We met the neighbors. We were doing mushrooms with the neighbors. You'll see the Radar Online article about the time Stan Hope freaked out the autistic kid next door. Is that it? Anyway, let's just get through this. Now Krebs has a tie-in with Bisbee,

and he gets involved with this band that he books at the stock exchange. I can't remember exactly who books it. Doug booked it. Don't fucking, don't puss out on this. You told me the story. Doug booked it. Well, I think what happened was we had a black spot in our dates. Doug, what happened was we had a black spot in our dates.

We had a night off in between San Diego and I can't remember. Long Island. Yeah, it probably was Long Island. But somewhere probably like Albuquerque. Probably Albuquerque, yeah. That seems normal. And so I was like, well, I don't know anyone except Doug or Stan Hope, so see what's up there.

You thought it was a funny idea to book us here. I believe that you told them that we were a jazz act. I would have assumed. I think that you maybe thought this in earnest because the last band I was in was kind of like that, but this band was definitely a polar opposite, a metal band. We sent promotional material to this like we would with any show. They didn't ever open it. Hold on a second.

Patricia Stewart. He pitched it as Dave Brubeck 5, and you're bringing Wasp to town. It was heavier than Wasp. Oh, wow. Oh, it was so loud. Wait, where was this at? We signed in the right light.

Right in the center. The stock exchange where you're seven feet from the guy on stage, no matter where you're sitting. Yeah, that's what happened. Perfect venue for some... Blackie Lawless Wasp era. It's the most centrally located bar in Old Bisbee. It's the best.

It is the best position for a spot to have a venue. But it's right in the middle of all the other venues. That would be where you put the flag of the North Pole, of all the bars that are very close to you. I think other bands were calling the cops because they couldn't hear their band over this band. It became interesting because I recall there was some kind of political thing happening where somebody from one club was mad that it was loud.

And then someone else from even the same place maybe was mad that their friend was mad about it. So it became this like, no, don't play because other people were upset. And then other people would come in and said, no, play louder because fuck that guy. Yeah. So we were caught in this kind of crossfire. I believe we played four total songs and they were good tunes maybe not we maybe saved the best for last which we didn't get to play but we definitely got cut off so yeah they just shut down the band in the

middle of it because patricia stewart who uh uh is a a woman uh with a a lineage of running rock and roll clubs in the fucking studio 54 days or something, where she's like, this is not what I expected. This is going to stop. And at that point, I just wanted to hear the sound of my own voice yelling. One of the few times, even in comedy when it's going poorly, they never pulled the plug.

I heard her say that exact same thing during a comedy show one time. J.T. Habersat. Oh, I wasn't going to say. This was strictly a volume thing, though, to my understanding. Yeah, it was. We were bringing the plaster off the ceiling. But I asked him. This town was built in 1890,

so you play at a certain level, there's structural concerns. Yeah, we were going to break some shit, probably. Equipment-wise, what he brought, their band. Controlled demolition, building seven. That's what it was about to happen. Sonically, everything they brought

was enough to fucking bring the house down. It was a concern for the patrons. Right, of the patrons. Right. Of the city. The building inspector. It sounds like there was a lot of equipment on stage and you may have been blocking the entrance to the bathroom. It's quite possible. That is how you get to the bathroom. That's the only way.

Well, welcome back. It's good to be back, yeah. I'm trying not to block any bathrooms now. It's 10 minutes. You got a gig in about 10 minutes. Yeah, I got to go. See you. All right.

Shall we wrap this up? Sarah Highlander left. We want to say thank you to No Pity Originals who sent scarves to Bingo and Morgan Murphy from the Timbers, Portland Timbers. Portland Timbers, my favorite MLS team, although I haven't paid attention. Evidently, they won the fucking championship last year. I must have been doing something. Big fan.

Someone was in a coma. Sorry, I missed MLS. Don't worry. I'll be around for World Cup, even though my team's not in it. Holland is out by country of choice. It's out. They're not even playing. So hopefully Costa Rica's in,

because that's my second. USA, somewhere way down the list. They're out. USA's out? USA's out, too. I think Mexico City fucked them. Sounds about right. USA's out? USA's out too. I think Mexico City fucked them. Sounds about right.

Well, that's not a country. But go ahead. Anyway. Bingo, thank you for honoring me, letting me read a few lines on your audio book.

I have no one else. Please buy Bingo's book. What's her link? BingoBingaman.com. Yes. Sign books. Thank you very much for doing all that you've done.

It's called Let Me Out. It's an in-the-moment diary of some hideous Wyoming mental health care, care mental institution rubber room asylum loony bin pistachio hut pistachio hut alright let me thank

bingo bingaman are you on twitter no I'm not you fucking suck you'll never work bisbee again I thought that Pat, are you on Twitter, Krebs? No, I'm not. You fucking suck. I know. You'll never work Bisbee again. Yeah, I know. I thought that 10 years ago.

I thought that, so I'm back already. Fuck it. At Sarah with an H, Highlander with a Y, at HD Fatty, at Greg Chaley, C-H-A-I-L-L-E, and I'm at Doug Stanhope. Be on fucking Twitter, because we have so much fun. Oh, and, oh, yeah, I get shit coming up. All right, let's close it out with Bingo Bingaman.

She's going to do Peach Pie. If you've read the hard copy book already, you'll understand this is all, lyrics are based on Hannah in the book that would say the craziest shit, but so lyrically, and then you put it to music. Peach Pie, Amy Bingo Bingaman. Thank you guys for listening.

Bye. Peach Pie, we got a real bitch in it. Good, good, it's Pinky Pie. Peach Pie, we got a real bitch in it. Thank you guys for listening. Bye. I've tasted sweeter of each ukulele, little brash, rash, fly. Your apples still remain with the noose, hootiest back brow. brow I got the cleanest next door neighborest clothes round wherever I go I will sing the lowest

blue note on my polio I don't need no ticket sack I don't need no package I don't need no Tick Attack I don't need no vacuum jack I don't need no Tick Attack I don't need no vacuum jack I don't need no Tick Attack I don't need no vacuum jack

I don't need no Tick Attack I don't need no vacuum jack Baggin' Jack! Thank you. ¶¶ We'll be right back. Little brash, rash, fly Your apples still remain with the noose Goody is back brow I got greenness next door, neighboress flows Round wherever I go I will sing the lowest blue note One by one Good, close, freaky pie, peach bye, we got a good bitch here. Good, close, when you ride. Beach, bye, we got a good bitch here.

Good, close, when you ride.