The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #238: It's The End of the Podcast (as we know it)

Episode Date: December 15, 2017

In this episode Doug goes over the year of podcasts with Chad Shank and Chaille, a listener submitted Police Beat and he wonders if perhaps it is time to end the podcast. Thanks to all our sponsors and to all of you for listening in 2017. This episode is sponsored by Brooklinen.com - Get $20 off AND free shipping when you use promo code [stanhope] at Brooklinen.com. Order Doug's NEW book, " This Is Not Fame: A "From What I Re-Memoir"" at - http://bit.ly/2hBKs4p Bingo's book "Let Me Out: A Madhouse Diary" is now available at http://www.bingobingaman.com/ Recorded Dec 11th, 2017 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Chad Shank (@HDFatty), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille. Don't miss out on Stanhope's 2018 Tour Dates. Get on the Mailing List. http://www.dougstanhope.com/ Closing song, “are you amused?”, by Amy “bingo” Bingaman. Now available on iTunes. LINKS:  Chad Shank Voice Over info at AudioShank.com Support the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org/ Doug Stanhope on the Joe Rogan Experience #1048 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0LMYKsaUYs Doug Stanhope on the Craig Ferguson Show (12/04/2017) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUjRKWPNuNMSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you are listening to the doug stanhope podcast it's the end of the podcast as we know it what if we came back with the uh brand new podcast a a redux. I'm listening. Of this podcast, but we're all clean and sober. Chad Shank is happy. Chaley's Brian Hennigan. I'm out.

Chaley's the angry, bitter Irishman, the same way Joe Rogan does. If you didn't hear the Joe Rogan podcast where Rogan was doing Hennigan's accent, but he did it half Irish, half retarded. And Brian sat there and took it. Nothing. Nothing. Not a single snide comeback.

Really? Nothing. I downloaded it. I'm going to listen to it when we're on the plane. The only reason I listened to it was because somebody sent me like three clips of Joe Rogan making fun of Hennigan. I was like, oh, fuck. I have to listen to that.

And then Hennigan just sat there quietly. He's not in Bisbee. As he should. He wasn't a guest on the podcast. Buck, all right. This is the year in review is a default. I'm excited for this.

I wasn't until just a minute ago. Jay Lee has bullet points. He keeps copious notes. Well, we started the year out. Doug and I did the year review at the Arizona Inn last year. Remember? I remember being there. You were just getting ready to dive back into the book.

But last year was a fucking year to remember. Yeah, yeah. I want to write a book just about 2016. Yeah, well. That's one of my favorite next book ideas. But this year was just coming back from all that. And then all the catch-up that you had to do to get back on track with writing the book, which is out now. This is not fame.

Yeah. This is not fame. Yeah, this is not fame. The audio book for everyone who tweets me relentlessly, will there be an audio book? Yeah, probably spring of, I think we're going to record it late January. End of January. Until March, April, I don't know. Yeah.

We don't have any, after the recording, we don't have anything to do with it. It's just, they take it and they tell us when it's done yeah they get a they get a lot of shit to do plus with this book i really want to do the same audio book where we go out and get snippets of people but this is going to be tougher because like all the people that are in this book, Dan Tosh, David Cross, if I could get them, I think he'd do it. Because I think we're both the same miserable cunt that he was to me back then. That's a good chapter.

Sarah Silverman, just give me three words on what you remember about this. And then we'll have other people. Becker will be in town. He be part of it there's a million people i it's it's gonna be an endeavor but i wanted to live up and usurp the standards of the last audiobook so yeah it might be a while i'd rather have it be uh good and late than slipshod and in time with your fucking tweets. I don't really read. Well, then wait.

Sit and wait. And look at TV. You said that. That was one of my favorite replies. Someone was saying, hey, where's the book? I ordered it about a couple weeks ago. I was like, well, and I sent him an email back, and it said, Doug left on the 3rd.

The book came out on the 5th. We started getting books here, and he was promoting the book. So we got a little behind, and immediately a guy hits me back. He's like, his name's Bart Winkers. He goes, no problem, Shaylee. I'll wait. I don't read anyway. Best wishes.

Thank you. I love it. Normally, because I get a lot of these emails where they say i ordered the book but i didn't get a receipt is that something that you do send out or people like yeah you ordered the book what do you want you do you want me to be Expedia sending you 55 fucking emails every time? Amazon, hey, tell us how we did. I'm not going to step on a bit that I love doing. Well, when we get an order from someone, an auto reply immediately goes to them and says, hey, thanks for the order.

And I've got a personal message in there and say, please contact me, not Doug. And I never get anyone contacting me it's always you and then you have to forward it to me but they do get a they get they get something and then sometimes those go right into their trash or their spam filter too so that that's and then where i belong and they'll also get another one it just made me think about your book mitch hedberg joke when do you need to prove that you bought a fucking t-shirt? A donut. You give me a donut, I give you the money.

End of transaction. We don't need paper to get involved. I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for a donut. I'll just give you the money. You give me the donut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink

and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. Don't even act like I didn't get that donut I got the documentation right here Oh wait it's back home in the fire Under D

For donut I butchered it When am I going to have to prove That I bought a donut. I butchered it, but it's... When am I going to have to prove that I bought a donut? Bullshit. It applies for a t-shirt. They'll get a tracking number when it... When it goes out, they'll get tracking number two.

I got a text from Lynn Shawcroft. I was in LA last week and I didn't go out at all. I had shit to do and I didn't want to wake up with shame of tongue plunging Andy Dick or the things that happen at the Comedy Store VIP bar with the great Kerry Mitchell. I blame the Me Too environment. I blame the I had shit to do.

Blame the Me Too environment. I blame the I had shit to do. And Shawcroft said, oh, I was out last night. I ran into Chappelle, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I should have gone out. But then I would have probably tried to make out with Dave Chappelle. Whatever. She said, oh, I asked him if he'd give me a quote for the book about Mitch. And she said he went on about all the standards that Mitch broke, the rules of comedy that Mitch broke, all these.

He set new precedent. And fuck, I wish I was there for that. And then I thought, does she even have a book? Or is she starting from the blurbs backwards? Because I waited until I had a book to ask. Maybe she just needs motivation to start the book. Will you write a forward? Can I read it first?

Oh, no, I'm going to base it off your forward. I love you, Lynn, if you're listening to this but uh i i i hope to fucking god she's actually writing a book and one that's like real not about his love of asparagus or some shit no he he was weird only organic no that's not what people want to hear lynn so you never hit her up if she's didn't go out didn't see anyone except the people i needed to see you did a podcast with burt uh he came oh fuck yeah i did that's what i was there just to promote the book and then i did a small part not small enough for them on roseanne's show uh roseanne is coming back the original cast and it's i never watched the show because it's a sitcom they're terrible but they're

even as a kid oh yeah when I was a kid and then when you grow up and you realize when you watch it again I can't believe I watched like live studio audience shit is like vaudeville to me it's like

all the single camera shit now baskets and stuff because you know once you've done any of that the man show when we had live studio audiences and they have to have a fluffer when you fuck up yet again and now it's the seventh take of the same joke hey you're gonna pretend like you didn't hear that joke and you're all gonna laugh it's the seventh take of the same joke. Hey, you're going to pretend like you didn't hear that joke and you're all going to laugh. It's so fraudulent. Hank did that, a real good representation of that on the Larry Sanders show.

He would direct everyone, he appears the applause, let's try it out there. And then they would do it. And, you know, Hank. That sign says applesauce. No, no, no. I'm kidding. It says applause.

Gav? Go ahead. Go ahead. Can you do me a favor, Gav? Can you flick that once? Just flick it. There you go. Remember, you're all a big part of the show, so the better you are, the better Jimmy is.

Okay, now you see this lovely woman over here? Good. Yeah, she's giving me this sign, and it says we're on in 10 seconds, so ready to have a good time? All right, this is exciting, isn't it? Here we go, guys, in five, four, three. Yeah, and it was so good, because I went to one, Mr. T and Tina was a sitcom

that was on for about three seconds, and we went to Universal Studios. My parents took four kids in a station wagon to Universal Studios, and we're standing in line and someone thinks it's a good idea for us to all go to see a taping wrangling four kids after a day at universal studios and then getting in a bus and you're captured you cannot leave because you are off lot to somewhere else and then you go through the gates and you're on a studio you can't go walking out and go i'm out of here you're fucking you're you're there you're hostages and on

the man show the studio audience is under the belief that you can sit there and get shit faced because they would give the audience free beer so all these people think these fucking Jockos, we're going to get hammered and watch the man show. No, you're going to sit there for five hours and twice during five hours, they'll pass out warm beer in a plastic cup, which makes it worse. It just wets your appetite for wanting more alcohol. And you're going to sit there for two and a half hours before you get another and then another it was the

worst and but the dynamic with it was it's the original cast it was John Goodman Roseanne the sister I can never remember her name Sarah Gilbert no no the sister who I fucking love the

Roseanne sister never remember her name sarah gilbert no no the sister who i fucking love the oh uh roseanne's sister uh yeah metcalf jackie metcalf yeah laurie metcalf jackie i fucking love her like just running into john goodman came out of a door i'm there early smoking cigarettes in the parking lot having cocktails with morgan murphy john goodman comes out of a side door and goes, hey, you get a light? They're all fucking, Roseanne's even smoking. I don't really smoke, but, you know, I get stressed out. He comes out, you get a light? And Morgan says, oh, this is Doug Stanhope.

And John Goodman goes, oh, hey, I listen to you guys on stern all the time meaning me and bingo hey takes a light and then wanders off and they they told me he gets so nervous he actually pukes before filming stuff like what but it's a huge thing public speaking when you're in front of a live studio audience that you know already heard the joke and you have to do it five more fucking times yeah i can see where i was stressed i sucked shit i only had three small lines it's me being drunk and ordering drinks and i fucked it up somehow stretch oh my god it's one of those things that I think about in the morning. I don't even want to see it. I fucked it up.

I know they hate me. I know they probably don't care. But the internal, just seeing those guys, when we did a read-through, you all jam into a makeup room, and you do you do the read through speed read right before the thing and just seeing their their eyes are closed and they're just saying it they're not acting but just saying the words and all the original cast like that's a fucking it's a dynamic it's like you know when we have the original football people over and everyone's just busting balls and we've been here forever.

They were acting in the same way we have our core group here. We don't even have that dynamic yet on this fucking podcast. It was fun to be a part of, but also not fun to be the guy that kept fucking up his one stupid line you're just saying that I fucked up

more than anyone else did I just thought maybe you were being unduly hard on yourself in your own way I know I can't act they probably hated him that's what i was fixing i am unduly hard on myself when it's righteously applied yeah i if i did okay i'll

say i did okay i fucked a lot of things i don't know but i mean it's it's not integral to the storyline right they could put some yeah no i was it in there with i was i was the guy that was the the catalyst to the joke it was sarah gilbert that was she had the funny lines i'm the guy that set her up for them and i fucked at him anyway yeah i was happy to ask me and now they know not to do it again did rogan's podcast always fun i saved i didn't want to do it again. Did Rogan's podcast, Always Fun, saved I didn't want to do any other podcast that day because I know I'm going to get perfectly drunk. Joey Diaz was not wrong

when he said that Rogan hates my cigarette smoking and I couldn't help but chain smoke. Oh no, we have a whole, we got a whole new studio and we get all the new smoke eaters so and yeah the smoke eater did not keep up with me those things don't do shit

it's the only way you're gonna find out you gotta test it I asked his uh Chaley if uh if he only had that installed for me and he said yeah pretty much you wanna tell pretty much you want to tell pretty much you uh chrysler the day i landed you want to do it tonight i'm like sure come on over you get

mobile equipment come on over and i don't remember a single word. I know I pulled my dick out at some point. I don't know why. And I don't want to listen to it. But I got good feedback from people on the Twitter. Hey, it was really funny. Yeah, I'm going to take your word for it because if I listen to it, I'd say no. No, it wasn't that funny.

So I trust you. Did he video? No, no. Usually he does video. He came to Johnny's. All right. So, yeah, there was, well, they probably have secret video. You've been there.

You always feel like you're being watched. Video exists. Just don't have access. Craig Ferguson was a guy that I really, was a guy that I really I hated him when I would see any kind of late night talk show

and he did the goofy he had the, yeah, he's got a goofy accent he had the one that Craig Kilbourne was on, right? yeah I don't know how does Corbin have it now? being passed yeah

fuck I should check my email does Corbin have it now? being passed fuck I should check my email I don't know if that was a dream or not I think I got asked to be on that Corden show and I don't know if I've checked my emails today I don't know if that's a dream

or if I actually get asked to be on that show isn't that the one where they sing karaoke? I'll watch that. It's one of them, yeah. All right, I don't know. Maybe I have another gig coming up. We'll check on the break and maybe, yeah. As long as I don't have to act.

Craig Ferguson, I didn't like till I heard him on Stern. I just would pass channels and I'd see him doing this fisheye lens thing into the camera with a goofy accent. I go, that guy sucks. And then I heard him a full interview on Stern. I'm like, I like this guy. That's when he was off the air. Except for he's sober. So I show up drunk with cocktails in hand.

And I ask his houseboy. I know he doesn't drink. Actually, Hennigan asked. But is he okay with other people drinking? And the houseboy kind of gives a shrugged no. Nah. All right, fuck it. Let's go let's go and then yeah we had a great interview and i told him yeah i'm having cocktails and he was very nice i don't know if he's being fake nice but i don't think so he's a guy that is quitting hollywood too i think he's moving back to scotland

he's like yeah i'm done they gave him yeah he Hennigan, once I brought up dueling Scots people. I don't know how it works, but wouldn't you have to listen to the show the next day? Isn't that where he would talk shit about how horrible you were? Not the show you were on. It's the next day that you don't want to listen to. I had Doug Stanhope in here yesterday boozing the place all of. I had to listen to it. I had Doug Stanhope in here yesterday, boozing the place all over.

Yeah, I think he's, even if he wanted to, I think he's probably so trained by doing network television that you just shut the fuck up and don't burn bridges. But it was really cool. The Jackie Cation's dork forest. I love Jackie Cation. Oh, the guy that you know, Jason Ellis. That guy was great. Those fucking Aussies.

I've heard him on Stern. That guy's fucking fun. What's he do? He sounds fun. He did a podcast. He's like an MMA guy, like skateboarder, fucking tattooed, crazy guy. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, I thought he hated me. And then afterwards, he was really overly complimentary, where he was backing off because he was happy to have me, and I hope you weren't lying. This is funny, because SiriusXM in LA is a very closed quarters. It's like a studio? I did. and i'm sorry i forget your name i think it's like jay alexander it was a it's your fault for having a benign name like jim alexander jay alexander i did two george costanza alex jim a standard they're side by side studios and they just like i move to where Gene Simmons just was,

and Gene Simmons moves to the show I just was. And they have the drop where they have the XM logo, and you stand in front of it. Step and repeat, they call it. Red carpet thing where they take pictures of the guests in front of the XM logo. So Gene Simmons, I don't know if you were there, Chaley. We did one show at the Comedy Store where there's no such thing as a guest list. Sold out, sold out.

I've never been there when you perform this one girl was hammering me and hennigan and anyone she could get a hold of to get gene simmons son into the show because he's a huge fan and this and that and had and we relented all right son simmons Relented. All right. Son Simmons? Yeah. Gene Simmons' son. He's on a TV show with Family Jewels.

He's a tall kid. I thought he was 21. Not 21? Oh, no. This is years ago. Okay. A few years ago. All right.

And we actually, all right, this girl was pleading fucking mercy, and I don't know who she was anyway we get gene simmons son into the show because it's la and a lot of people don't show up because there's a lot of other cool people cooler way cooler people to see that they so we got him into the show so gene sim Simmons is coming out of Jason Ellis' show, standing in front of the thing, which is like three feet away from you, taking pictures. And they went, hey, Gene, your son's a huge fan of mine.

Hey, I'm Doug. Your son's a huge fan of mine. That's funny. I was liquored up early he's like oh and then he's he's he said some dumb joke when they said oh he's a comedian he's doug stanhope he's going on that show next and he goes oh comedian and then he made some like cat skills level fucking one-liner dumb joke and i just played along i got a picture and then i went on the uh the other show that i was going on to and the dj what is that a dj whatever the fuck the guy whose show it was the host yeah. Yeah. The host said, is there anything worse than someone telling you a really bad joke like that

and then following it up with, I'm just kidding? Yeah, we know you're just kidding. It's a fucking terrible joke. And then he poured a lot of other horrible jokes out. Not that Gene Simmons is someone I want to piss off in this industry. It's the worst.

So the Ellis show... Go ahead. Ellis was fucking fun. I don't know what else I have to update you on. Well, you updated me a lot. I thought you just did Rogan. No, I did Bert. I listened to Rogan. Yeah, I don't know all this other stuff.

Just found out about the Bert. I went into LA strong. I did five solid days of no smoking, medicinal drinking. Here. Here. And I was immediately fucked as are i smoked three cigarettes waiting for hennigan to come around to baggage claim but you knew that was gonna happen

yeah yeah that's why you did it and i yeah i was immediately unhealthy and then staying in a house where you can smoke in the living room anywhere yeah yeah trying to rewrite lines like uh i can't figure out a way to say this funny for the roseanthi yeah i mean you didn't write any of it no no but i uh anyway their team got a hold of it we promoted the book and that's what we were there for Bingo's book and album are out on iTunes and Amazon

her book is fuck let me out and the album is are you amused so those are both out and we've spent Fuck. Let Me Out. Let Me Out. And the album is Are You Amused? Are You Amused? So those are both out. And we've spent.

Hold on. Just go to the website, bingobingaman.com. And there's links to all that there. It's the quickest way. But it's been fun now that we're back. Because Chaley and Tracy are leaving in two days. Bingo's leaving to shore up her audio book for Christmas. She'll be gone on all of Christmas vacation.

I'm so glad you're all fucking leaving. I really am looking forward to doing nothing by myself. Kanopka's got his own place now. Everything's good. i could just do projects bingo will not promote her fucking book on twitter she did a little bit a little bit she's everything i feel oh i don't want to bother people i already said something on facebook five days ago yeah yeah but you're gonna do it over and over again i know it's soul-wrenching but she sits with her books i just signed what 800 fucking books today signed a lot you signed everything we had here and we've been getting

boxes and boxes every day and there's more coming tomorrow bingo i signed my name i i my scrawl my ex but i put that on the book bingo sits and personalizes everything puts turquoise like feathers and like not business cards but stickers she made a bookmark she made her own bookmark and she i mean it wasn't a thing where she sent away to bookmarks.com she like got someone to help her set it up on a sheet of like tag board and then she sits there with with this cutter zook zook oh that's yeah that's the cutter she sits there and does that all day and then cuts them side by side. She absolutely loves what she's doing, and it makes her feel good. If I was a human being, I would be inspired by it. It's fucking really cool to see.

It just takes her some time. So hopefully we can get those last round of books out, but everything's shipping right now. All right, yeah, and Chaley's will be gone from December 13th. Everything's shut down for the store because the Chaley's are taking a well-deserved vacation, going to a tropical island somewhere. And you'll be back first week of January. Oh, yeah.

And you'll kick off at your leisure. First week of January. Then you'll kick off at your leisure. If you order by the 18th, December 18th, we'll still have someone fulfilling orders, the lovely Denise. And then, yeah, it'll get there. And then after the 18th to the 8th, everything will ship after the 8th. I was looking at Tahiti as one place I've wanted to go. And I asked on Twitter,

Hey, has anyone been to Tahiti? Because evidently to go to the cool places, you have to fly all the way to Tahiti, and then get a jumper flight or a ferry to the cool islands because otherwise it's junky in the main. I just asked. Anyone been there? Does it suck?

Would I hate it? Can you day drink? And some cocksucker... Whoa. Third world problems. Or first world whatever. He's just... I mean, I just asked

just because you've never traveled yeah not saying i hate spending a lot of money though i'm saying would i hate it fuck you but i was thinking i was thinking about taking chad on vacation like where would he not want to murder people and it would be one of those you know those islands where you get the little thing out way there's a little like there's but they're on the ocean you call burras or burr of weed burrays or something yeah that's that that was my problem with the day drinking yeah some of those third world countries you don't want to get caught with weed. That's like death penalty shit. Singapore style.

See, I don't want to go there. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. But I was thinking, where would that all come together? Where Chad and I could go on a fucking weird vacation. Chad and I could go on a fucking weird vacation. I've thought about this on different levels with Artie Lang. Like, where could we go where I couldn't find fucking cigarettes or alcohol and he couldn't find heroin? The hospital?

I think that's where he's going to be this Christmas. I think he could find it in the hospital. He'd break into the room where there's fucking oxycontin yeah anyway i'm open this christmas my uh my wife is going uh uh to uh like up to sedona northern arizona they have like polar express the movie family no like a train that you ride oh yeah it's a It's a... That's not your thing. Right? A Chad and Doug Christmas. Name something that is my thing real quick.

Go. Just hiding out. We'll take your tweets. Where did Chad and Doug go for Christmas? You'll be gone. Bingo's going to be gone. I'll probably be here for Christmas specifically, but we should do some kind of weird vacation.

Didn't we all go up to the, where's that place with the condos? Not the condos, the Bear? Oh, the Cabin? Yeah. Bear Creek Cabins in Pino Saltos. Take the dogs? That's a good one to do. Fuck the dogs.

We get these fucking kids here we don't talk about. All right. Yeah, we have porch whores. I don't want to say porch monkeys because that infers some kind of racial thing, Forge monkeys because that infers some kind of racial thing, but it's a... Yeah, we have... What do you call those? When you're at a Stern show, they're...

Intern. Interns. We'll call them interns. That sounds like we're teaching them a trade. Yeah, we trade you frozen dinners for dog walking. Frozen dinners that they turned down and just ate

nachos instead. From the gas station. Alright, we'll just eat these nachos. We'll be nice to them for Christmas. Gump! We'll tell people about it after you're gone they're nice kids all right do you should we take a break because usually when we take a break then we go uh all right let's get into this shit yeah we gotta do a commercial break anyway. Alright, good. Please hold. Brooklyn and Sheets. What goes well with Seroquel,

Xanax, drinking too much? Brooklyn and Sheets. Hey, if you're gonna be found dead in a hotel room, you're not gonna get Brooklyn and you're gonna get him at home. Die in your own bed with Brooklyn and Sheets because you wanna die if the Shroud of Turin...

I don't know where to go from that. I think I said enough right there. The Shroud of Turin was made on Brooklyn and Sheetz. That's why Jesus craps look so peaceful because Brooklyn and Sheetz hit the bullet points, Chaley. Oh, you mean like the way Brooklinen cuts out unnecessary markups, retail licensing fees, and manufacturing waste

in order to offer high-end designs and exceptional savings across their collection? Is that what you mean? I can sleep in my own vomit, but I sleep better in Brooklinen sheets because men of a certain age you like to sleep comfortable

and it's very important Brooklyn and Sheetz are luxury bedding underpriced you have to try these sheets today I'm leaving that pausing I fucking hate

people who shit on because i only promote things that i really really enjoy and good sheets are something that is hard to oh oh he's a badass fucking edgy no i'm a guy that likes to sleep well and that's important. Not some fucking Target sheets, not David Tell's old bit that ended up with one of the best bits ever, and I don't mind stealing it right now. Did you ever have a girl yell out another man's name in bed? This girl was screaming out names

of people who never existed. Give it to me, Aquaman. Come on, hammer me, Papa Smurf. And I don't know, is this girl crazy or is she just looking at my sheets? Those are not Brooklyn and sheets. That girl would be sleeping like a baby, and Dave Attell would be a hashtag me too. Come on, I fucking nailed that. That was pretty good.

Hey, this is just in time for the holiday gift giving season doug yep if you're stuck in those kind of relationships and most of you are and that's why you pay money to see me because i am some spiritual advisor for you who still have to buy shit for people for christ. And you know you have to. So get them sheets. Sheets that they can go to sleep forever in. Brooklyn and sheets. Hey, Grandma Ma, you don't have to hang on for us.

Sleep in Brooklyn and sheets and go towards the light. Comfortably. Yeah. I wish we had a lamp sponsor to go with Brooklyn and Sheets so your grandparents could die comfortably and look into the light. You know, the last time I did a podcast with you guys, I slept in the room that has Brooklyn and Sheets, and normally no matter what time I pass out, I'm out of here at 6 a.m.,

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give these sheets a try. There's no reason not to give these sheets... Oh, shit. Sheets a try? Sheets a fry, try. Sheets a try. There's... Okay. The kids still find us amusing. there's no reason not to give these sheets a try for yourself or as a gift this holiday season give the gift of luxury sheets brooklinen has an exclusive offer just for my listeners get 20 off and free shipping when you use promo code Stanhope at brooklinen.com.

I love my Brooklinen sheets. Try these sheets and I know you'll love them too. The only way to get $20 off and free shipping is to use promo code Stanhope at brooklinen.com. That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Promo code Stanhope. Brooklinen, these are the best sheets ever. All right, let me stop to say, buy my goddamn book. Order it now at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com Look, order it now at BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com if you don't want us to get credit going towards that New York Times bestseller list

that we're right on the precipice of, I'm sure. But we could be because I just get the hard copy. Oh, my God. The stories that I did tell. I have stories that really? Who? How many accusers? i have actual pictures i've never been happier to promote a book in the tease to this get the book that's the only way you're gonna see the

picture of me i go i can't have that many pictures of this type of situation i already have a whole chapter and then there's another chapter where it was a different day and age, I guess. Because I'm an old man. And Bingo's book, which is beating my book in the fucking Amazon sales ratings. Yeah, her book is available at her new website, bingobingaman.com. And that also goes through us. But hers only goes through us. yeah uh snatching all those profits or she's retarded you can also buy it on amazon but right now bingo's signing them signing all the oh she's been signing them all day well that's

what i'm saying you put little treasures in books look what i did and i signed it like this bingo's putting little cute notes and little fucking stickers or some shit in there. What else does she have? That's on Bingo. That's all her. That's how she feels during the day. Yeah, and eventually we'll both have audio books out. But as you know, if you read and listen to the first one, they're a little different.

They're both challenging. All right, thank you. Let's get back to this podcast before I shit my pants. Oh, shit. Ooh, Shaley didn't hit record. Oh, the whole thing? No, just what you just started. Brooke Lennon's on.

It's fine. Did you get that? That's a better intro anyway. Hit the bell?? No, just what you just started. Brooklinen's on. It's fine. Did you get that? That's a better intro anyway. Hit the bell? All right, good. That's my catchphrase. Thank yous. Here's the thank yous.

I always forget some, but I get a bunch. Happy holidays, Doug and Bingo. My asshole roommate leaves the TV on all night, then won't answer the fucking phone. No more. Fuck him. Enjoy. Peace.

Can't read the name, but I know he sent a remote control and a cordless phone, the top of a cordless phone. Very funny. Hold him up real quick. I'll do it after the fact. Why do we have to do this while? All right. Because you forget.

Same pictures when I take them from one of the fucking camper kids out there. All right. Oh, that's fucking ad copy. I'll need that. All right. Someone sent. Hey, big fan here. I actually had the pleasure of meeting you at a couple of your orlando shows

oh oh this guy was a firefighter he gave us orlando fire department uh shirts yeah at a gig and then he's uh he's got his own uh actually i set this aside for chad somewhere in this pile of fucking boxes he uh started his own fishing company apparel. Weedline Fishing Apparel. Weedline. So, yeah, it's got a weed. Oh, nice. Yeah.

There's a hat. There you go. Weedline Fishing Apparel. Hopefully you like them. If not, forward them to a friend. Well, I have a friend in Chad Shank, and he's a weed guy. So there you go. Thank you, sir.

But it's fishing apparel. I thought it was weed. I thought it was pot. It's weed-lined. Like, when you fish and you get caught in the weeds, it's a double-un-tong wall. Listen, I like weed and fishing. Someone sent me burned copies of Wilco

albums, not finding takers, but maybe a lot of this stuff might go in the next ebay yard sale probably january february i don't know don't go to asia i don't go to asia until march if you're not on the mailing list you won't find out because i talked about it on rogan if you want the asia dates be on the mailing list. He's leaking a few tomorrow, and then, yeah, we'll leak them all. I don't know. I got a bad feeling about Southeast Asia. Don't just search Google for Asian dates.

It's not going to give you the right thing. Doug's Australia dates are up, and that's in April of 2018, and all the links are up on the site. And we're still adding dates on that as well. Yeah, Lina. Is that the same one? Yeah, Lina. Lina?

Lina Galliara. Lina Galliara. We'll keep dreaming about coming to your Death Valley party one day. Well, that stopped in 2007. You're 10 years late. Has that been stuck in the mail somewhere for years sent me a book called the short history of drunkenness i like that and i will read that someone else sent me uh maybe oh yeah this guy trent trent was at the oklahoma show where the

chick got dragged out at the fucking before the last. The last line of the last joke. That's twice that happened in this year. We're going to recap this year. But that was one of the shows this year. Two shows this year. I had someone fucking drug out before the last joke. Like, fuck you. You fucked with me the entire time.

This was Trent. He was there at that show. And he said a bunch of shit wait oh is this the guy is this the no this is not no that's jeremy he's the wheelchair guy we'll get to that no hey this guy chad's got that it's the second person that sent me jude angelina's new book hummingbird which i started to read and I was intrigued because I thought Jude was a girl. And it opens up with,

I was snorting ketamine. Like, wow, this is fucking, the way it's written is a chick. And then when I found out it's a dude, I went, eh, all right, anyone can snort ketamine. But it's still a good read. But it kind of took it down a notch.

I thought it was a chick, and I was all into it. But yes, I will read that book. He said other shit. I can't remember. All right, last thing here. I'm doing that just for Chaley. Oh, this is Jeremy. The Jeremy we spoke to? spoke yeah he sent me some uh it's a good story about his uh dad used to work in east germany before the wall came down and

he smuggled some dude out and they ditched his car so he sent me the license plate from the car and then he said i heard you say something about i i don't want i didn't want to be that guy well i didn't want to be that guy when i met you this is the dude that we carried his wheelchair up at the bisbee kill the termites day wasn't it we were all dressed up we it was that day and we were the ones who didn't want to be that guy until we saw jeremy who had to sit in the fucking sun in his wheelchair yeah yeah baseball we were nudging each other like should we just go grab him and pull him up and finally it was enough drinks yeah the warren ballpark is not handy capable friendly so this guy's. His friends plopped him in the sun

and you have to go up like 15 stairs to get him. Well, to be fair, they plopped him in the shade at the beginning of the game. Yeah, and as the game progressed, the sun would just go up and then us leggers would just go up the next bench and we'd just keep hopping back until we're always in the shade. He sent a bunch of shit.

He sent his chest brace that had his head halo from when he broke his neck yeah well yeah that's that's not even gonna make the ebay yard sale like uh oh i don't even have that written down but uh uh jt habersatz sent a bunch of uh adult coloring books everyone has a different one. Mine's going in the eBay yard sale right with Mishka Shibali's album that's autographed to me. Mine has murderers, and I'm going to color it. Mine's sarcastic Jesus.

I might like this. Yeah, they're fun, but I'm not going to color them in, and I'm not going to keep hoarding shit, so I'm going to put them in and i'm not gonna keep hoarding shit so i'm gonna put them in the ebay yard sale he's a friend pay it forward right uh so jeremy yeah he said a lot of people said a bunch of shit thank you guys very much jeremy also sent me a a note it says uh hey chad what's going on man i haven't heard a police beat in a while i'm closed the local police beat from around here and as you can see it sucks nothing but smashing grabs and identity theft damn heroin addicts one advantage of living in new york

right now is that some people still bet on the giants that's where the 10 is from get some jimmy's hot dogs or something looking forward to the next police beat, Jeremy. So Jeremy sent me $10 and a police beat from his hometown. So for Jeremy, I'm going to read one of his shitty police beats and one of our good ones. Do we know which town it is? It says our towns on the top, so I'm guessing we do. I'll pick one in the middle.

Holbrook. An interior door was reported damaged at a home on Mill Road, September 27th. Let's see, it does seem pretty mild. Well, if we cared enough, we could search our own Mill Road, which shows up in the police. Well, yeah. We're not going to do that. He could have highlighted them, you know, some good ones.

But listen, he's in a wheelchair. I understand his disadvantages. All right. I love people who see the advantages to wheelchairs I remember fucking wheeling Sean Rouse through fucking not just airport security but customs in Scotland and his arthritis

was so bad they had to wheel him out and I go oh you get to bypass I go you're getting in a fucking wheelchair when we leave and we get to cut through everything yeah I guess it sucks if you have to do it I go, you're getting in a fucking wheelchair when we leave and we get to cut through everything. Yeah, I guess it sucks if you have to do it. From Bisbee, November 29th.

Two male subjects with a dog wanted to trade weed for alcohol on Congdon Avenue. Trade out. So my deadbeat hero album. Yeah, avoid taxes, trade out so my deadbeat hero album yeah avoid taxes trade out don't have to buy each other's products barter system is alive and well in bisbee should we just kill this oh no we have to do this you don't have to do anything no we're gonna do a quick urine review because you put some effort into this i just copied and pasted it's no big deal all right oh wait no yeah're going to do a quick year in review because you put some effort into this. No, I just copied and pasted. It's no big deal. Oh, wait.

No, yeah, I want to do that. All right. You don't look at... Chaley's going to just give the bullet points of this year in review because I don't remember shit. And he'll just give us bullet points and see what we remember. He gave me one bullet point before we started this and I go, oh, I have something to say. I have to remember that.

And now I have no fucking clue. Here comes Kaylee with a year in review. We'll be back with a brand new podcast where I'm sober and found Jesus. Chad Shank is helping babies in South Africa or Namibia or Nambia or Niger. Hopefully you can pronounce it right by then. Anyway, here's the year in review. Chaley. You make it sound like this is a produced thing.

I'm just going to... I know. I'll go through these things. You guys tell me. Well, like I said, we started the – we ended last year at the Arizona Inn, and you started writing the book again. You had to get right back into it because Bingo was – she finished with rehab in December?

Yeah, no. She was back to kind of functional by January of 2017. And we started the year with uh episode 187 and at 189 is when uh we got all that vodka showing up from sal oh yeah which we still haven't gone through that that actually happened in december but we still have sal volcano yeah at Impractical Jokers or find their at. Just watch the show. Go ahead. Gretchen came by, and we were talking about her project, Border Bedazzler went down.

I mean, she stopped doing it, and then she did the Mariposa art project, which she has now. And I did want to give a little shout-out to that. That's the Help Out Kids Art Center in NACO, give a little shout out to that. That's the help out the kids art center and not go. And you can donate, uh, send donations to through PayPal to Gretchen at Gretchen bear.com.

We went to our art showing last night too. And that was all about those kids. Um, yeah, that's really cool. We had the super bowl clusterfuck weekend. Remember any of that? No,

no, it was, uh, Patriots one. I think we did four podcasts in that weekend. Shit, I don't even know who was here at all. Nothing? No, I remember.

That's good. Do you have any notes of who was around? No, that one, I figured you guys would have something on that one. I don't remember any of that. Do you remember? At one point. Well, it was a pared a paired down and we're pairing down football even more occasionally i have some of my old school friends if i'm in town come over to watch football like friends and not a giant party yeah uh and it's been really nice because i watched the games it's not a fucking million people in

your shut shuttling fucking dishes oh who who made the fucking uh the green bean casserole is ready is there room fuck that no like three people come over at best episode 1897 you were finishing the book and i can't remember the reason why but you went to sierra vista to write it and you were there smoking was it smoking yeah because uh bingo didn't like the cigarette smoke over there and i couldn't do it over here and there was too many people so i just went to the fucking motel 6 or that other place, and I just chain smoked because I wouldn't have distractions. You have to understand, that book, I had a limited amount of time to write the fucking thing to begin with, and then that got cut in half because Bingo was in a coma.

Fucking her book was written 12 years ago. She just put it out. No fucking pressure. That's why you have all this time to put fucking potpourri and shit in your book and make long inscriptions. Yeah, I went there.

But the book's out. Our 200th episode was March 10th with Fat Mike and the mayor of Bisbee. Fat Mike called in. He was on the phone. And then we just did that. Fat Mike called in. Called in. He was on the phone. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, and then we just did that.

Fat Mike, I can't wait to run into that guy again. I don't know how to make it happen organically, but yeah, Fat Mike from NoFX. Well, he had an idea for a project. We'll talk about it offline. I don't know if you remember it, but he was totally hell-bent. He's like, no, this would be perfect.

But I think he's as fucked up as I am where he has to get around. He does run a record label. Oh, you're going to see this thing we just watched, his Birkenstock commercial on YouTube. Find that one, Fat Mike. It's wicked good. That's pretty funny.

We actually, we talked to him. He saves it at the end. We talked to him because Doug got the book, No Effects, the Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories, and read it and liked it. He's a fan. Oh, he liked it. And he's a fan of Doug as well, so that's how we got that. We named Doc Mark the King of the Super Bowl.

He's the – How are you going back to the Super Bowl? This went out later. This went out later. Oh, these are – This is podcast notes. I get it it that's why they jump around in time yeah what else well uh then we started touring and that that really took

up the majority of the year you were on tour you did i think you did something before april 10th but then we started our first tour april 10th so many fucking dates and it felt like we did no dates i didn't realize how much it was until I actually looked, because I added everything to the past gigs page. You can look and see how many gigs. You showed up at gigs. I remember that I really missed you guys for a while there. It was a while that I didn't get to see you guys.

But Chad, what else did you do other than Denver? We spirited Chad away. I'm trying to remember shit. We're using your bullet points to see what we remember. I think you jumped ahead. I did. It's all right. That's the only one I remember.

But I did go. I met you guys in. Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo. To surprise Doug. Doug had no idea. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I delivered a pizza to you guys to Stanhope.

I was waiting for you. Yeah, yeah. I was waiting for you. Yeah, yeah. That was fucking fun. That's the way we ran into that smarmy dude and ended up the bad Coke deal. Oh, that was... Yeah, who was responsible for that? Because I was not.

Andy Anders. Andy Anders. He sold us methamphetamine, but he had a guarantee with it. And Andy took it back on the guarantee, and then the guy just never fulfilled the guarantee. Here's the funniest. I have a hooker story I can't tell. It went the same way.

The guy friended me on Facebook. What? I know his fucking name. Anyways. that's fun you rode with us for I think 3 or 4 gigs we went through there was the eclipse we went to the show Gerald Ford Museum

Andy nature jacked at the fucking river not realizing there was a fucking afternoon social hour at like a fucking TGI Friday staring at him jacking off into a river i think again there's an old book that if anyone remembers nothing ever happens on my street it was a children's book about this kid who sat squat going and nothing ever happens on my street. And in the meantime, there's like army guys helicopter or parachuting into the yards.

Everything's going on around him, but he doesn't notice. It's some fucking children's book. Nothing ever happens on my street. And that's what I my whole life until we do this. Yeah, this is a boring year i just did some road dates oh yeah andy was jerking off into the river and had to run from i had to take pictures of him posing like he was jerking off in the river so that he could tell people he actually jerked off by the river he did but he had to do it after the fact well right

well he knows i'm not going to take pictures of him jerking off by the river. He did, but he had to do it after the fact. Reenactment. Well, he knows I'm not going to take pictures of him jerking off by the river, so I took pictures of him afterwards. But at the beginning of the night, I was like, what about this year? And I'm like, eh, fucking nothing this year. But all of a sudden, yeah. At least we did some shit. We had a

fucking wicked party at Ron White's house when he spirited us away. Bird Cloud. That was episode 207. Episode 207. We got on his... He did a guest set at the Atlanta show. Left us fucking hanging,

by the way. He's a great host. No, no, the bus will drive you back tomorrow. And then in the morning he's like, nah, that plan changed. Get an Uber. Yeah, he's like, nah, that plan changed. Get an Uber. Yeah, Erickson and I were up all night snorting Adderall and still drinking at a

cannonball in the pool. How come no one picks you for the death pool? You really do more drugs than I do. I do medicinal drugs. I do an Adderall if I care about the podcast tonight, not. We just want to stay up and drink. But you guys, when you do parties.

Shaley's always done medicinal drugs. No, when Shaley parties, he goes fucking balls out. Him and Tracy and the Brechels, they go fucking balls to the wall. I do medicinal drugs, and then I counteract them to fall down as soon as i want to go to bed you bring up a good point shaley challenge picks was after the the swap cast that we did live at the royale burke kreischer and then that next day we went swimming in the pool and that's when uh ch Chad here snapped a fucking epic picture. The only piece of art I've ever created.

Yes. We have a similar picture of Kenny from years before. Fucking beans and weenies in the water. Don't know what happened to that, but who knows what happened to Kenny? I think he's dead. Anyway, Kenny's dead anyway kenny's dead yeah we uh we had that crazy scranton gig too remember the yeah i do remember some kind of a bomb threat by some jackass in uh in the uk and it just screwed up everything for us we were we were booked to play a gig that wouldn't have been any more well attended in Scranton.

At a place where during the day they taught kids how to walk with knock knees. It's like a preschool or a daycare. They had some children's thing that they did during the day so they could not risk this death threat, even as scurrilous as it might have been so we had to move to a banquet hall at a fucking double tree or some shit and it was a terrible terrible gig but we got through it i think all our merch money went to pay the cops that they insisted that we had two cops those cops hung out all night they They said something at the end like, we're gonna go rape some girl. They said one of the guys,

after they were done and off the clock, the one guy was driving and the other guy had a couple of margaritas because the other guy was driving. He's off duty. And they made some fucking funny remarks straight out of your act. It was fucking hilarious.

It gives perspective to what's going on right now, which is hashtag me too. Cops shouldn't make rape jokes. Versus cops shouldn't kill you in a fucking hotel hallway. Yeah. Rape jokes. Little different than murdering someone that you keep telling, I'm going to murder you. I'm going to murder you.

I'm about to murder you. Simon says, I'm going to murder you. The fucking Mesa police thing is the most vulgar thing, but we're going to not talk about that. So let's go move on. When we wrapped up in Denver, we also did a swap cast at, and I'm going to give her credit. She's the owner of Comedy Works. You remember her name with burt that's when you showed up again i came back

with joey with joey you rolled into this this burt kreischer swap cast at the owner's house who owns the comedy works you're gonna have to do that because otherwise i'm gonna have to piss in the slop bucket so i'm gonna piss you do this and then we're gonna get back to the uh joe b death you're not pissing in the slop bucket oh jesus christ oh good well that that was uh we roll up and there's we're like eight people deep we've got you tracy's bartending, Joby ran the grill. Yes. Because they had ribeye steaks. And they did that whole barbecue setup for us. And then I was there messing around with his gear.

The whole place looked like Liberace lived there. Like everything was like silver high back chairs. There was an aesthetic to the whole house. Everything worked. No, I didn't make that up. I think she said that that's what she tried to base it on was like Liberace fucking style. It was a beautiful house. Oh, it was very cool.

And I, yeah. Chase, you remember her name? I'm trying to find it. Yeah. Wendy. Wendy. Wendy Curtis. Wendy Curtis. that's right.

Look at there. I just remembered a name for real this time. See, look at that. Back from a piss with Wendy Curtis. Yes. And she was lovely the whole night. But we did show up with our own crew. We'll cook whatever you want.

And no, no, you guys sit down. We got Tracy on the bar. Joby's on the grill. Everything worked smoothly and swimmingly. And, yeah, it was a fucking blast. Great gig next night at the Oriental Theater and the James Inman podcast. Oh, my gosh. And the James Inman podcast.

Oh. Remember James was there? Oh, my God. He was so indignant to his friend that had Adderall for him. Well, you outed him on the podcast. I got more tweets after that podcast of people telling me, I wanted you to fucking beat the shit out of James Inman during that podcast so bad. And I don't respond to anybody. But if I did, I would have said, he didn't rip me off.

And nobody there offered me money to beat his ass for ripping somebody else off. So I don't have any problem with James Inman. He's always been nice to me. You're yelling at that guy because he was giving him a ride or he gave him a refrigerator or something driving him to uh i anyway yeah if you want to listen i think that's uh probably episode i just want to say this is a recap of podcasts that people that don't remember fuck all about podcasts that's why i really i'm i'm considering and I'll take your feedback on Twitter because I have months off now, about doing like a reboot of this podcast. Because we've been doing this straight since we didn't know what the fuck we're doing, and we still don't quite know what the fuck we're doing.

And maybe come back in the new year with a clue, with a schedule. Maybe we should do that. Right before you leave to Southeast Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, and where else? Yeah, but we could have a – I'm a creature of habit. So it would be helpful to go, okay, we have to do this and this. A fucking Bill Burr Monday morning, Thursday afternoon. We'll do fucking Monday afternoon and Thursday really late at night. I don't know.

I'm all for that. Well, we'd be able to monetize it better if yeah the fucking thing the numbers definitely go up when you do things on a fixed schedule because the majority of people that are listening are guys and people really got work it really is rogan and i on his podcast talking about who has the like i i last i looked which is a long time ago or hennigan told me i was like 84 dudes but uh hey i don't you're the breadwinners as long as women are making less i'll take dudes i ain't rooting for it. I'm just saying is all. Brendan Wells joined us on tour for the first time in many years.

Yep. That's what happens when you have a baby and you need. Baby needs new shoes. Yep. Here, come out and work for less. We lost Ralphie May. Yes. work for less uh we uh we lost ralphie may yes died uh we did a little memorial and a little bit we just talked about him really it wasn't a memorial on episode 228 but that was it was uh it was great because we actually got to stay with him at his house for two days on one part of the

tour yeah that's uh since hedberg hedberg we worked with two weeks before he died. Yeah. Randomly, just out of the blue, very, very sketchy. Well, I had gotten off tour like the month before on that Stephen Lynch, Hedberg co-headlining tour. And then you told me that, hey, I for hedberg at some university i go i guarantee you he doesn't fucking know that you're gonna be there you didn't tell me that as i said because i said don't i didn't listen i go don't call him because i'll fly out too and then you waited for me at the airport we went there and sure enough he had no idea that you were there no the the kid

that worked the college said, I just booked you together. I kept thanking Hedberg for giving me the fucking sweet money gig. Back then, it was like $2,500 to open? Yeah. What? That's like 10 times the amount of money you get to open. But no, it was the fucking kid.

The kid said it. Squandered all the parents' fucking money. What else? We died here. We're about it. We did the All Things Comedy Fest, the live podcast at the Orpheum, the first ever All Things Comedy podcast. We hope we didn't fuck things

up too much and they'll have us back. It was fun. I had a blast. You also met Corinne and Christina from the Guys We Fuck podcast. That was fun. Oh, yeah. They were cool. I still talk to them on the Twitters here and again. Go ahead.

I was going to say shit. No is go ahead go i got a couple plugs we wrapped it up with uh one of the the second to last date you did was in san francisco at cobs comedy and we had fat mike show up and you guys actually met and we did a podcast and that was uh it was a fucking great night. It kept going. Audiobook. Everyone's asking, when's the audiobook coming out? I think I already said it, but it'll be late spring probably.

Leave reviews for not just my book, but Bingo's book. Thanks for all the nice things you say on twitter leave reviews on amazon that fucking helps us uh get more books not that bingo's gonna write a new one but i will uh yeah write your reviews put them on amazon or wherever the fuck else you leave reviews asian dates i talked about it get on the mailing list oh the hitching post we ever brought that up last podcast i believe we did it uh jobey who does stanhope's celebrity death pool let me back up yet again if you've tweeted at me instead instead of celebrity death pool, you should do a celebrity death of your career pool for sexual assault. And as every day another celebrity gets outed.

Yeah, I see your point. But don't think you're the first person to say it they just have fucking endless if i could just sit and retweet everyone who thinks they're the first person to think of that start your own because we have our own celebrity death pool going on so start your celebrity because this fucking thing has been going on for years our own thing and it's hard catching on yeah i get it start your own but it's fun to watch hitching post hitching post we did a commercial for joe b makes pizzas at the hitching post borderland commercial for it borderland breads is the company the next day the cool bartender at that awful fucking bar with that awful owner the cool bartender that

allowed him to do that got fired because we did that commercial and we also talked about cold cut kenny so the other bar thought the other bar was in cahoots and they they fuck you fuck you and so the bartender got fired and uh yeah that's why i don't leave my house i do not leave my house tucson comedy i'll talk about that another day but man i really want to start a comedy club in tucson just to fuck that comedy club that's fucking with Christine Levine and firing comics. What? They work in other places. Like Christine Levine. We'll talk about this in January.

We'll be on Christine Levine's radio show. Yeah. Looking forward to that. Yeah. We'll go up as a fucking gang in January and fuck that comedy club. gang in January and fuck that comedy club how do you have a university town that's like a top 10 ranked fucking football team a basketball team this they're college kids and you have one comedy club that's only open two nights a week that books these fucking relics that they're only booked because they golf with the owner who's like 80 fucking years old

it's it's tucson young comics if you want to move somewhere what's the scene it's not a scene yet but tucson should be it because they're dying for a comedy club and they only have one that books mostly shit i have a few friends that work there, so I won't out them. But yeah, Tucson, we'll come save you. I get a pittance to blow on a fucking comedy club. Funny venture. Asian dates. Rogan, bop, bop, bop, bop.

I think that's it That's it You're in review I had fun Thank you guys Next year That's where we hit this big Alright Get the fuck out of here

You're gonna play Bingo's uh album just came out on itunes and amazon yeah play the whole thing play the whole thing right now play the entire fucking thing fuck it i'd say play the whole thing but you have to read her book first which is a diary and the entire album is based off of the people that she met when she was in that mental institution. So yeah, read the book first, and then listen to the album. But we'll close it with,

Are You Amused? The title of her album. That's the title track. Good night! I have declared war against my brain in order to save my mind The battle wounds don't seem to bother me

so long as I know they will heal with time And the scars remind me to appreciate the days I don't have to serve and protect my country, my code, my propensity I'll surrender to laughter over my defect

And the scars remind me And tell me, who might you let to your strange peaking shell? Which hand would you choose to wipe away a tear? What fruit should you weigh on the whole belly? How would you look upon someone dirtier than you? Are you amused? Why don't you let your feet carry on without a shoe? Would you like to see a graveyard outside the color blue?

Does the stain upon your sheet tell it's all the tale in you Where is your virtue In relation to the moon Are you amused On a good day I'll turn blood into a warm sweet milk And drink up I'm serving shots of liquid blasphemy But on a better day I might turn milk into whiskey If you're around Beware I will intoxicate Thank you. If you're around, beware And tell me, who might you let into your strange peaking shell?

Which hand would you choose to wipe away a tear? What fruit should you wipe out the whole belly through? How would you look upon someone dirtier than you? Are you a mule or a stone? Why don't you let your feet carry on without a shoe? Would you like to see a graveyard and smile the color blue? Does the stain upon your sheet tell a taller tale than you? Where is your virtue in relation to the moon?

Are you amused? A tightly clenched palm of authority He's been E-D-I-S-A-B-L-E-D However today she leads me on a path to belief Belief of the other wiser Now 5150 touches my left thigh I wear it with a cattail and intrinsic pride. For my fellow impatients still lock behind the walls of crazy.

And tell me, who might you look to? You're a strange being, sure. Which hand would you choose to walk away until you walk through? Shoot you away, girl, the whole valley through. How would you wait for On the home valley roof? How would you look upon Someone dirtier than you? Are you immune? Why don't you let your feet

Carry on without a shoe? Won't you let the sea graveyard Unsmile with color blue? Does the stain upon your sheet Drill a tall, untailing hue? Where is your virtue In relation to the moon? Are you amused?

And tell me Who might you let to Your strange reaction? Which hand would you shoot? To what would you add A fruit to your sugar? Or the whole of the moon? How hard would you look upon someone dirtier than you are?

Oh, you If I were to let you carry on without you Would you let me see your light to a smile that doesn't read? Does this stain upon a shade of dark? Oh, you Where is your courage to the direction to the moon Are you amused? © transcript Emily Beynon