The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #241: Seizures Palace

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

Doug welcomes the Al's, our new neighbors, to get the background on all of her seizures. Johnathon and Chaille help in describing the situation up at Pinos Altos, NM. Lots going on this episode. This episode is sponsored byAudible - Audible is offering our listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership. Go to [Audible.com/stanhope](Audible.com/stanhope) or text “stanhope” to 500-500 to get started today ANDDSCDP – [www.DougStanhopesCelebrityDeathPool.com](www.DougStanhopesCelebrityDeathPool.com). Join a DSCDP Funeral Homes – Killer Termites, Bloody Shank.Order a SIGNED copy of Doug's NEW book, "This Is Not Fame: A "From What I Re-Memoir"" at - [http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/?category=Books](http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/?category=Books)Bingo's book "Let Me Out: A Madhouse Diary" is now available at [http://www.bingobingaman.com/](http://www.bingobingaman.com/)Recorded Jan 24th, 2018 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Johnathon, The Al's, Jobi (@StanhopesCDP), & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille.Don't miss out on Stanhope's 2018 Tour Dates. Get on the Mailing List. [http://www.dougstanhope.com/](http://www.dougstanhope.com/)Closing song, “Miserlou”, by Dick Dale performed by Agent Orange. LINKS:Audible – [www.audible.com/stanhope](www.audible.com/stanhope) or text STANHOPE to 500-500DSCDP – [www.DougStanhopesCelebrityDeathPool.com](https://www.dougstanhopescelebritydeathpool.com/) or [www.dscdp.com](www.dscdp.com)#MyMorningExpressChad Shank Voice Over info at [www.AudioShank.com](www.AudioShank.com)Support the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org/](http://www.innocenceproject.org/)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. Got you. Let's start with the last podcast, since we just started with a sneeze from Tardy Tard. We'll get to that. You put out the last podcast, and at the end of it if people sat through it i assume you put it like a secret track like you do well since since you uh i don't know i don't listen to this podcast i put that once do you remember the song we were talking about no uh elo no no do you remember doing the podcast no no okay well we talked about uh an elo song

and then so i i found a really weird midi version of that don't was it don't bring me down yeah yeah so i did that and then i just faded right into while you guys were on the air with christine and after we did that podcast, we went up. Christine Levine, you might know as Mamu from our podcast, is a co-host on a morning radio in Tucson. KLPX, Tucson, 96. Joby and I went up to promote whatever, just to do regular real morning radio.

I think it was for Death Pool originally. Joby set it up, so I'm sure it was for Death Pool, that's joe b set it up yeah i'm sure it was for death pool but i'm sure we went off topic a lot and we were there for two hours yeah and probably talked about a lot of the same shit we talked about on the podcast but terrestrial friendly you went yeah well you guys hatched a plan while we were podcasting. We've been up in the mountains in Pinos Altos, New Mexico at the Bear Creek Cabins free plug.

We should have got some money off. We should have cut a deal. Play hardball with her? We want two fire logs! We want two fire logs this time! God damn it. I'm sure they'd be appreciative of lots of stanhope fans i know no matter how i say this it will get misinterpreted as i'm looking for an assistant

which i am not but if i had one it would be someone who could cut deals who could bullshit people not bullshit them but go hey listen uh the guys from the Doug Stano podcast they want to stay at your cabins and they'll do a you know a trade out someone to a wheeler dealer like that that could get us deals where yeah it's actually beneficial for us to go up to the mountains for a couple of days to get the fuck out of town. That's what I'd want. And also someone who knows travel and like all the if you get this credit card, you get this many points and miles. You know, the miles guy. OK, so points guy.

That's what I'd want in an assistant. But you don't want an assistant. No, I don't. Okay. So what do you... But I want that guy. The guy that emails me after hearing me say, I don't want an assistant over and over again

is a guy who could really do that and knows that. But if he already knows how to do that, he's not going to work for nothing the way I'd want him to. Yeah, I was going to say, what's the pay? For this job that you don't want? It's gump pay. You know how to fucking live on your car. Burgers in a place to smoke weed?

And all right, you did what? Okay, and what do you need? All right, yeah, you can use my washer dryer. Thanks for hooking me up with that United Airlines. If I want to play Delta against the lover. Although it's 2018, you're talking like it's 1918. I am 1918. Some roustabout who just wants a place to hang his laundry.

Hey, one of our employees is here. Denise, why doesn't Denise learn how to do this? She does everything else. She does have one full-time job and one part-time job. All right, so we're up in Pinos Altos at the Bear Creek Cabins up in the mountains of New Mexico. It's only three hours drive, but it's a fucking million miles away. No internet, no TV, 7,000 feet. So we're up there, but it was not snowing.

No, it's cold as fuck. It does snow up there, right? Brought the dogs up, brought the seizure sisters the owls maybe the owls chime in on this podcast but it's up to them and jonathan of course our other brit as opposed to hennigan our first brit our first british person i'm brit number two they fuck with both of them they call you the british irish and then they refer to hennigan as british because it pisses you both off well i'm not quite as racist as brian who is just incredibly racist that's very that amalgamation of the UK could call each other racist. Like you're one misshapen race.

Yeah, I mean, you can get sort of accused of racism between sort of like the Irish and the Scottish and things, but fortunately still, we still have the Welsh and that's still sort of politically correct. Love the Welsh. Massively racist about them. That's like us and OB. Like we're in Warren District and that's like, in ob like we're in warren district and that's like

oh the fucking ob yeah it's all bisbee and don't even talk about san jose the only time i ever get published writing a letter to the editor for the bisbee observer was some kind of racist warren versus old bisbee thing and you're trying to incite something? Were you trying to get something going? It was just funny. It was a funny letter. And they published it. So that encouraged me to write more. And they would have none of the other ones. I tried to double down on some shit.

Well, old Bisbee is just tourists and hippies, isn't it? And people in shops that sell dreamcatchers. And they don't want to work. Let's make it racist. Yes. If you're going to talk,

you got to get on the microphone and you're welcome to. You just, do you need a seizure helmet? Maybe a drink. Yeah, get her a drink. We got both, actually. Gin and tonic with a fresh lime.

If you can move her. She can figure out how to move a chair in front of a microphone, unlike a lot of our guests. Gump would just sit there and yell at the microphone rather than pull a chair over. So, yes, it was the Traleys and the Dingos and the Al's and Jonathan. Is that your moniker? Dingos?

Dingos. I had to come up with something. You came up with your own? You can't come up with your own? Well, how many ways are you going to go? The Dingamons? It's actually pretty good. It's solid.

The Stameys? No, you got it. You nailed it. That's like stoma felt like oh shit let me last podcast we'll get to new mexico in a second but on the last podcast that went out we hashtag sky candied hashtag my morning express with robin mead and i had no internet service in the mountains which was great i woke up two days in a row without immediate hate because i sleep to tv i sleep to headline news where you wake up where it's cnn or headline news SportsCenter, every fucking person on SportsCenter now

irritates me to fucking death. That Stephen A. Smith and Max Kellerman, they're just fucking tits. They're fucking zero substance. Yell, I'm just going to make you angry so you watch me. And I had none of that. I woke up to chirp, chirp. Hey, it's a j that's not a blue j it's a green j and jaylee says no that's just a j we wake up bird watching it's fucking fantastic

and i realized i woke up two mornings in a row without that fucking hate but on the last podcast we implored you robin mead the bright tooth goofy gal that does headline news in the morning hln is the cable yes headline news and uh her hashtag is hashtag my morning express and i guess all these soccer moms and uh ne'er-do-wells of gated communities they send pictures of what's my morning like here's my toddler in a winter pajama suit trying to crawl into the babysitter feel good pictures oh like it like my dad showing his belly so sweet everything's catchy with the belly let's cut you in the belly. Cut you in the belly, Mr. Pimples. And coming back from the mountains, as my phone hit service,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And I saw what you did to hashtag my morning express. I can't say. I just said tweet what your morning is like. Typical Stanhope audience Twitter guy. And evidently your mornings are full of burn victims, incredibly infected holes in the balls of your feet. Oh, I saw that one.

I don't even know what was going on with that one. I was like, is this like a clip from a movie? That's someone's life. Someone had to limp in with that fucking leg dragging behind them. Could you imagine putting pressure on that thing? There was a hole in someone's foot that didn't go all the way through. So something's in there or something left there. And it was a bandage pulled down

where it had been that way for a while. That was a cotton ball on a saber slice. It was great. I normally get a bit annoyed with the Twitter feed when you're looking at the list of twatters or whatever they're called called on Android on the phone

because whenever somebody attaches a picture, it often crops it really badly. So you do have to actually click onto the picture. It doesn't do the same things like that. And for the first time, scanning through the list on that hashtag, I was really glad that they were badly cropped photographs because the central aspect of it was just terrifying. out of this twitter is only going like their engineers like

how do we auto like fixate on what the wound should be centered this is all wrong this is this is way too far to the right well first of all the the ones that amused me the most were the ones where they people who had the the wherewithal to write a funny caption hey there was there was a lot of poop like just giant logs of shit and toilets or like i'm trying to think of one example of someone who wrote uh oh if if this was uh any looser it still wouldn't help on uh no wipe wednesday or something like that where people yeah rather than just put an awful picture wrote something that my hashtag my morning express people would write oh another cold day in paradise or something yeah but then it's a frozen fucking corpse of a jew in a concentration camp that's not even the worst

one that's not even the worst one that doesn't exist i'm actually i welcome the frozen your story i welcome the frozen bodies because that the baby being held up as i'm like i'm checking out i'm done we should have got that picture picture of Doug holding up that chicken we'd reheated at the cabin because it did just look very similar to the child. Well, yeah, if we would have pulled off two of its legs and then had a bunch of Palestinians behind it. But the best part was, as I'm looking at these, that was going on for three days of these brutal but still interspersed were people who were tweeting

pictures of their brainless mooks who would genuinely respond to this yeah so they're probably checking the hashtag because they put theirs they want to see theirs yeah yeah i put mine up who else put up a cute is someone have a baby? Oh, that's not even a baby anymore. Wait, is it? Is it? Where's the picture of me with my frozen eyelashes? The one that's crazy was like, because I watched it. I looked at about four of them.

And I told you, because I got into an area where I could upload the podcast. And I could do that. And you had your phone off. So I didn't want you looking at it. But I said, it's out. And you, I couldn't get service. I know.

And then you had forgotten. I think that that morning I was uploading the podcast. And when I told you, you were like, Oh, you giggled. I'm like, that's not,

it's not funny. It's, it's horrible. And then I get to a point where I'm like, Oh my God, that is a massive shit. And I'm like, wait a minute.

Then I have to blow it up. I do that thing where the fingers, like you spread your fingers. It's like, that's Photoshop and i'm like wait a minute then i have to blow it up i do that thing where the fingers like you spread your fingers it's like that's photoshop like oh no it's not that some some like some guy backed a cow up to a fucking toilet well jonathan and i were talking about this last night where he said i can't even watch that stuff anymore like when you were kids faces of death stuff like i can't look at that shit chad oh i wanted to start this by shouting out to chad shank is not here because we just got back from the mountains and said hey we should podcast tonight and i don't want to give him no notice because sometimes he'll show up when he really doesn't want to and that usually means

if you do it in a hurry so So Chad Shank is here in absentia. He looks at that shit on Live Link. That's the one, Live Link and Rotten. It's his outlet. Chad Shank looks at suicide video. If you listen to the podcast. I mean, I could barely look at that. Sorry, what was the hashtag again?

But I laughed so fucking hard thinking about the woman who posted her little kid in an Easter bunny winter suit seeing that. But to listeners of this podcast, I'd give some advice, which is just, you know, it's like, remember, there is no such thing as mind bleach. Once something has been seen, it can stick with you. So you may just want to flick through. I keep ping-ponging between the legless burned baby and the chicken.

I'm trying to figure out. It is very similar, that burned skin. I haven't seen the chicken picture. We did a plate down there. The chicken is what you ate last night. I think. I was in the picture, so I didn't see it. I don't know.

Yeah. It's horrible. So. A success. It was a success. You uploaded that podcast on our two-day vacation away from everything because you figured out how to get internet. Or maybe, I don't know what the fuck you did, and I don't care.

Yeah, I didn't want to tell you because what was the point? out how to get internet or maybe i don't know what the fuck you did and i don't care yeah i didn't want to tell you because uh what was the point we were up there to not do that yeah i was once i couldn't figure it out i shut everything off you said oh no they or the lady said oh you there is wi-fi for the cabins yeah i didn't press it yeah no i had perfect internet connection because i've got t fucking mobile um which doesn't work where I live. Don't need it. Up a fucking mountain in New Mexico. Perfect signal.

That's how Chaley spends his vacation is all night. The first night uploading a podcast, editing, editing, and then uploading. And then the next day making bread. Yeah. That, making bread. Yeah. That's good bread. Good.

Smells delicious. Baking. You walk in the room and it just smells delicious. And then playing music with the kids. It took me two days to relax. In Hawaii, it took me two weeks. I'm getting better. We hiked a mountain. The two weakest links.

Cooper the worst. Cooper. Al's dog, that big fat sausage hound. Is that what it's called? A sausage hound? It's a barrel hound, isn't it? I think it's the size of a barrel. Yeah, you, this is Mrs. Al of the Al's.

Hello. Hi. One of the seizure sisters. You and Bingo, the seizure sisters. Bingo bought her a seizure helmet. Such a great helmet. We were talking about it last night. I've seen that somewhere before. I say it's from the movie Dodgeball.

Morgan Murphy's here. If you're going to look up Dodgeball helmet, I bet it's the exact same helmet because the brand name on the inside is Game Breaker. It's a sports thing. It doesn't show like a cartoon of someone biting their own tongue. Seizing out. It's appropriate.

Dodgeballs hit your head. Seizures all go together. Right. So we've foreshadowed the Al's, our new neighbors right next door. Not the shitty guy that bought the fucking lot. Will. Yeah, brother Will. Brother Will. Will sell out if we ask him. Will sell.

Sell out, if we ask him. Will sell. So we talked about this on an earlier podcast. You have roughly how many seizures a day? When I don't have enough weed, I can have about 20 to 30 a day. And low, low. You said you've never gone 70 and a half 72 and a half hours

I made it 72 and a half hours I had like the perfect regimen down and I made it that much and then I ran out of one of the strains I had and it

and you're 36 yes and this has been since you were 11 years old that's when it was really really bad but I was actually sick even earlier

I mean I was like four or five six passing out. No one knew why. You know, just normal, right? Or you don't think all of a sudden seizure. You go to the doctor and they go, I don't know. She's not seizing now.

Migraines. Migraine, seizures, just hysteria. They threw holy water on me once and it burned me. So, you know. Oh, it works then. Yeah. It's funny last night when you were having seizures

in the cabin he's out there and he's like tell me when the devil leaves this place and I'll go back in never yeah I was

10 minutes in the cold and he'd he'd shifted off after that it was fine is that is that but is

I was saying find dodgeball no no the movie dodgeball there's no images google images all right it's dodgeball helmet anyone knows how to work the internet it's morgan so all right i unless you don't want to and i guarantee you won't get through the full story without having a seizure. So Al, your husband, you're going to have to be a spotter. Because when you started telling me this story about how the seizure started, I'm like, holy shit. I remember we were pretty drunk. It was late at night. we were pretty drunk it's late at night and i i remember holding a microphone at least in my head like i'm i'm podcasting i'm pre-podcasting like will does when you do stern calls you up and i'm

doing a podcast pre-interview like this is a podcast so i'm i'm pretending and what i can remember when we actually do this podcast are you serious you did show prep i did what when you hear a story like that you're like oh shit you're asleep okay all right let's i'm intrigued i might need more of this well i mean we're about at the time we need to take a break do you want to tease it and then we'll take a little break. Yeah. Because I don't think you're going to get this done in two minutes. Okay. Let's take a break.

And we'll be right back with Al the seizure sister. Hey, tomorrow morning, we start recording Doug Stanhope. This is not fame. Audible version. For who? Audible. We do who? Audible. We do it for Audible. Can't wait for mine to come out? There's a lot of

Audible out there. But now you can do it with the iPods or the things in the plugs. It goes in the car. It goes everywhere. You can put it on an iPad. You can put it on your iPhone. You can put it on your iPhone. You can put it on your dingleberry. What are your Google phone?

You can do it without reading, which is what's important to my fan base. I don't know how to put letters together to make them into sounds. I like to listen to someone yell at me. Clearly. Well, you got it with me you got it with audible how about uh i'll give you some suggestions well okay hold on on tour we got through with duff mckagan that was a great one that was a good that was a really good one he's the bass player from guns and roses i just started today while driving out to el Frida, Pimp the Story of My Life by Iceberg Slim. Oh, you keep taunting me with that.

It's so good. Just the intro. I'm listening to this front part. I'm like, this is fucking great. And then he goes, next. Preface. We're not even in the book. He already started.

It was so good. the book he already started it was so good if you spend any time in traffic for a living which almost all of you fuckheads do even i do but that's by choice and there's no traffic i prefer to drive an hour and 45 minutes to the airport because i can listen to audible books and sometimes i circle around like i'm picking someone up from the airport to wait for the end of the book. We did that on Duff McKagan. We were 10 minutes from finishing the end of the book, and we were already at the gig. And it's like, circle it, Shirley. True story.

So Audible. The other one that you liked was Rabbit by Miss Pat. The autobiography of Miss Pat. So good. It's really good we're there's a theme here everyone yeah i was gonna say we're we're pimping a lot but yours is already called pimp hey audible is offering doug stand-up listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trial membership just go to audible.com slash stand up and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs

download a title for free and start listening it's that easy go to audible.com slash Stan Hope or text or text wait

no I said or text do it clean no I don't want to do it clean let's we do a fucked up podcast or text I want people to know when it's your fault or text

Stanhope text Stanhope if you can spell it can I do it on audible you text Stanhope to 50 oh Jesus Christ I'm sorry how many times

or text text what Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. How many times do you... Or text. Text what? Or text Stanhope to 500-500 to get started, to get audible. You go, oh, I read a book. Now you listen to it while you were asleep at the wheel. No, I read a lot. Yeah, while you're sleeping at the wheel no i read a lot yeah while you're sleeping at the wheel either way you can say you read a book get a classic get fucking homer or aristotle or some i don't know who writes classics kafka download kafka and go oh i I read too while I'm sleeping at the wheel of my VW bus that doesn't run. You were just drinking in the shell of a camper. Yeah, but I read a book. You didn't.

Yeah, I did. And you did. Go to audible.com slash Stan Hope. And then you'll get the one I have to start reading tomorrow. Mind, this is not fame. We'll be out there. I won't be reading the brunt of it because I suck at reading. And if you go to audible.com slash Stanhope

or text Stanhope to 500-500, you get that 30-day trial membership. Yeah. And I want to remind you that a membership includes one free audio book a month, exclusive sales and 30% off of all regularly priced audio books. I do have to say that. I don't think that my fan base generally could even listen to an audio book a

month, much less read one, but that's how I, what happens is your credit. I know my fuck them all right so uh what happens is your credits stack up and so if you don't get if you don't get one that month you can just keep getting so if you get your card punched like 10 times you get a free subway sandwich but i don't even know i don't know what you said yeah what one great thing is that the uh library that you create with the books that you get it you can access those books anytime anywhere right from your smartphone they're always on

your phone so it's not like you're renting them and then they expire so if i call someone i'm gonna have to listen to an entire audiobook before it goes you have no idea how this works thank uh you have reached three two three five one four it was the best of times it was the worst i have to listen to a whole audio book on the phone? I don't get how this works. Actually, you can't. Doug, you just backed yourself into a feature. If you like a book that you're listening to, you can send them the link to Audible,

and then they can download the book. Wow. I love to click on links from people I don't know. You don't, but other people will follow you. Does it say go to audible.com slash Stanhope or text Stanhope at 500-500 to get started? All right, we're done here. Go. Okay, we're back.

Seizure sisters are in the house. Al. So you started having major seizures at 11. this is gonna get fucking dark and i never laughed harder at someone's most horrific story where the person telling it was laughing harder at themselves telling it. You do have... I have a nervous laugh like that. I wrote about it in the first, or maybe it was the last book. When someone was beating the shit out of me,

I couldn't stop laughing because I have a nervous laugh, and you have it so almost trademarked. It's charming and giggly and brightens the room. Yeah. It's just so much better to laugh than to want to murder everyone. I just laugh.

While you think about murdering people. It's unrelated. So, all right. My memory starts with the Greek Mafia. What? I don't know if it's a joke or not. I don't know. A friend joked that my dad

reminded him, like, oh, your dad seems to be like he's in the Greek Mafia. And I said something to my mom as a joke, and she goes, oh, he is. But I don't know, because there's been weird things that happen in life. So I just, yeah. Alright. But I...

It starts with you as a small child which is what well you have epilepsy yes diagnosed they just figured out like a year ago but you also have a lot of what people would call uh triggers that might cause you to have upwards of 30 seizures a day. And I remember your dad was kind of a prick. Greek mafia or not? I mean, it was more of like he wasn't around a lot, and my brothers were a lot older, so there was a lot of stuff. He just wasn't really there to stop things things from happening um okay then am i wrong wasn't it your dad

that would shake you by your arms yeah that was that was brothers and oh brothers yeah no my dad didn't actually supposedly he didn't know about this until like even just a couple years ago um but okay i kind of was like that's why i was like always locked in my room i thought it was for my protection so you were diagnosed with epilepsy when what was it like a year and a half years ago so the 20 years preceding that it was just coming all garden gluten is a gluten intolerance my great oh they they tested me for gluten oh sure they did that the celiacs yeah um Like, you know, you're just hysterical. You're this.

You're that. You're like a million things. No, you're this. Like one person said seizures. It was a female doctor. She sent me back to the male doctor. He's like, you're hysterical. Like, actually, like you're hysterical.

Hysterical. Yeah. Can we just, I want to do a baseline. Sorry. What is epilepsy? Well, like epilepsy, it's seizure disorders, and there's all different types of them. So if you're having seizures like the electrical –

sorry, now I'm getting nervous to explain it. Let me ask you this. Is epilepsy on any level like Asperger's or autism where they kind of don't really know what the fuck it is. Yeah, and they're actually even related. They've even found some relation with autism and stuff like that and Alzheimer's. So there's a lot of different flavors.

So it could be your astrological sign as well. Yeah, pretty much. They've found connections. Yeah, so there's different ones, and that's the problem. A lot of my seizures just seemed like either fainting spells or breakdowns or just you know staring off into the distance or falling over until you start having the ones where you stop breathing and you're all my listeners know bingo's had some major seizures she's had a couple that were only kind of major fortunately she was laying down at the time, so it wasn't as bad.

But she's only had a few where you came in with a menu of, don't worry, that wasn't a grand mall. That was a small mall or a Paul mall. That was a step and fetch and tap dance. Seizure. I just really like that song. Hello, my honey. Hello, my baby.

Hello, my baby. Whoa, I was out of it for a second there while you danced. You look divine. Well, because most of my life, I just, you know, I mean, I know I'm crazy, but like most of it I just thought was just the craziness and everything else. So it's like, it kind of is reassuring when I know like, okay, well, oh no, this is a seizure or this is just me having anxiety or this is that. But yeah, sometimes it's hard because sometimes I will break out into song or you know start dancing but can't move okay last night in the cabin you have a seizure playlist don't worry i'm gonna get to the dark shit in a

second we got sidetracked but last night you said to al your husband there is this on my seizure playlist and i didn't know if that meant you have one that causes seizures that he should stop or i must throw that away but she was having you know twitchy not on the ground eyes rolled back in the head seizure, but gimping up and twitching. But you were singing all the words. Son of a bitch. That was her playlist playing on the Bluetooth speaker. But as she's having a seizure, she's mouthing the words, singing along.

Interesting. So tell us about your seizure playlist. I just like, I started finding, as I was researching more and i was finding a lot of uh like and i noticed already like especially like on like acid trips and stuff like i noticed how easy it was to use music to control everything so um and i'd already used it for like migraines and whatnot that's a great analogy the acid i mean i have hallucinated like it's really no different to me it just enhances it if anything bingo says the same thing about

when she has you know her mental illness kicks into it's like having a bad trip yeah yeah or a good trip i've seen those um but um but yeah so i started noticing this so i started like saying okay well these i noticed were making it worse these were always brought me out so i just started kind of making a little spotify playlist and well actually first somewhere else i don't remember but anyway just kind of grew and i just move it wherever i have my music and i kind of keep track and can you say itunes we do that again you say itunes because they're a sponsor yeah no i didn't know so itunes was one of the first actually groove shark which is long gone rest in peace um and lime wire without realizing it probably even started it on napster i mean with all my my old stuff but

there's there's certain songs that will really, like Black Eyed Peas now causes seizures, like Saturday Night Live. We all have songs we thought were good at the time, and then you go, oh, I should have had a seizure. Yeah, like Pump It actually causes a seizure, but yeah, Miserlew, the original, that will control that. Miserlew, the surf song?

Yeah, like that will- Fucking great tune. But the Zuki music comforts me because it reminds me of i'm interested it's very interesting to me which doctor told you to look into music as being a i none of the oh oh shocking shocking it wasn't a pill or a powder oh yeah bingo can chime in on all the shit that's great but great. But Bingo, when she, after her first institution, like her major,

the one she wrote the- Lander. Lander. Yeah, Wyoming. They kept telling her that she must have been molested. They'll look back at this time where everyone had to be molested like you're a witch.

She must be a witch. You must have been molested. She's like, I was never molested. Did they have a de-molestation? Hang on. Hang on. You were. Yeah.

Hang on. You've got to take me back to that conversation we had that night where someone was picked you up by your wrist. Well, that wasn't lust, that was abuse. I know, but it gets to that. We've got to get to the dark to keep the people listening. But shook you so hard that both of your shoulders were dislocated. Yes, I used to be dangled out windows and off of railings and balconies for fun. Her dad was Suge Knight.

No, no, it wasn't him. Or Michael Jackson. No, my dad worked so hard. He was actually really just – he was always working. And it was like he – technically his ex-wife had custody of the kids, but they were always at our house. And my mom wasn't allowed to discipline them. And she didn't know what was going on.

If your family is listening yeah i'm i have a few memories that i'm going to so i i'm sorry i blamed the dad that's i remember dad greek mafia there's molestations all sorts of stuff the girl here cackling at every story she told we're like that's fucked up. We're like, that's fucked up. And I'm laughing like this, that's fucked up. And she's laughing hard and go, oh no, it gets worse. So you have, it was quite interesting because you were explaining,

you have like different levels of seizure. Yeah. And they're from very- What's your favorite one? The favorite ones? Speaking in tongues is always fun, but I think my favorite actually, just because now that I'm used to them is picking up –

like I'll start speaking in other languages. Like I used to speak – like do a lot more languages and just with – since I've been getting sicker, it's just been harder. But originally I wanted to be an ESL teacher. So like I need Japanese. I originally spoke Greek and Spanish. So like sometimes I'll have seizures and I'll think I'm speaking English. And he's like, no. You know what you're saying

like languages you know it's not one of these but like oh well so I don't I only knew like passing Japanese most of the aside from like a class I took most of I learned from like anime crap and so like maybe that's the cause didn't know Pokemon

but my favorite seizure of yours of one of your grades of seizures which was explained to me by your lovely husband now, I think it was when we first met and I think you might have gone into the funhouse for a drink and he was explaining how you had different levels of seizure and it went from

terrible sort of epileptic grand mal sort of seizures and then down and then he said and sometimes it's just emotional and she's really horrible to me. And Doug and I quickly explained to him that no, that's perfectly normal. I am such a cunt to him sometimes. It's really bad.

I'm sorry. And I won't know. The only reason I know sometimes is because I have had him take video or I'll set stuff up just to keep track. And sometimes I hide in the closet. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I flail.

Here I go thinking, trying to monetize things like Hennigan. Hey, why don't you have a webcam like porn girls just for seizures? I was going to say, maybe this interview. Can you grand mal for me? This should be an interview with Al. Al, how did you get her to agree to a camera? I have had seizures that I've stripped before.

That's another story. Maybe for more drinking. You've got to stop. You need to scoot a little bit closer because you keep moving back. I'm sorry. Your volume is fine. It would just be easier for... Yeah, just keep that

in front of your face. It should be in line with Doug so that you just continue to talk. I know you don't do this for a living, but when you talk to him... Don't even look at me. When you talk, just keep looking at Doug. Al, all you have to do is just lean in. Al doesn't have to do a thing. Al does enough.

Not one person who has met you hasn't talked about what a gentleman, not a gentleman, that's a dumb word, but how patient you are where Al will look up like an old dog sometimes when you're having seizures. Like, I'm sorry. Like, no, you're in the, like, I'm sorry. Like,

no, we you're in the right place, but Al feels like it's his fault. That's what your face reads, but your face reads a lot of, uh, what is she crying? Sorry.

Here it comes. I just feel weird. I think the word you're looking for for there's a lot of compassion like the last night was the first night i saw this like that and it was even today it took two hours of a two and a half hour drive for me to bring it up is that it is shocking but at the same time it's it's very we're accepting it's it's it's an odd thing to see. And I want you to feel comfortable that I hope that's better for you. Yeah. And,

and you've got a great man there who is definitely looking out for you. Yes, absolutely. When, when bingo and I first got together, I almost cried before her. Oh, he's crying.

I just think it like I've had to deal with, with, uh, girlfriends that were problems. And then it ended up in a fight and then you guys end up and it's like do you want to take your helmet off or you want to drink it's a very it's a very sweet thing that we had to like we witnessed last night without knowing and i just you guys are a great couple when bingo first came here she was fresh out of the institution and normal a few hours out of the day.

But then when it got dark and you were cutting your forehead open and I get a banana phone. Yeah, banana phone. No, that's cute. When it got dark and then it's cutting and verbigerating, you say speaking in tongues. She says verbigerating. She obviously has a better vocabulary. But I'm not trying to pit you against each other till later.

Sees off. Sees off? Hey, we'll get the chicken drop squares. I was just going to say, put them in chicken soup. I don't want to read. All right.

There were times where I thought, I don't know if I can do this. I'm just struggling. That's when we were first starting to do barnstorming on the road, doing fuck clubs. We're going to do our own thing. And I don't know if I can do this. 2005, 2007. Yeah. Yeah. do our own thing and i don't know if i can do this 2005 2007 yeah yeah 2000 yeah that first year was and you guys have been together almost as long as we have 11 years for you guys 12 years for us

but she doesn't have fucking 30 seizures a day minimum the most i mean most of them were really like most of them come out really more like like psychotic breaks a lot of times right so like he didn't know they were seizures and it was really hard because he really had to decide like can i put up with this and somehow you did sometimes you like we you're an incredible person so well actually to be honest i want to be honest we went up there because he was going to break up. And then you just had so many seizures. Yeah, we were going to do double dumps. Yeah.

Double dumps. That's why it was the honeymoon cabin. All right. So let's get back to the dark abuse stories. The dangling. Yeah, the ripping the arms out of the sockets. Because this started early. Yeah.

Before 11. Yeah. I 11. Yeah. I mean, I think the first time I really had a conscious seizure that I even knew of was when they rushed me in. And I can remember. I remember how dark everything got and just the stories. You grew up in New England. I grew up in New England between Connecticut and Maine.

That's called winter, by the way. And there's the geese involved. I remember that. There was the Greek mafia, possibly. But then there was the queerese involved. I remember that. There was the Greek Mafia, possibly. But then there was the Portuguese. The what? Portuguese.

Portuguese. Wasn't it Portuguese? No, Lithuanian Mafia. Oh, Lithuanian. Because you joked and then we laughed because you were like, oh, I just took a shot in the dark. And we were like, oh, that was it.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. I guess I was joking. Why did I get Portuguese? I don't know. That's weird. All right. So Lithuanian Mafia, I just joked.

I go, oh, what is your mother Lithuanian Mafia? She's like, how'd you know? Really? Your Honor, he's leading the witness. Maybe you're making all this shit up. Who knows? So Lithuanian Mafia, anyway. That's lady. Danguanian mafia anyway dangling out you talk about your brothers yeah i assume they're older yeah it's a lot older they're half brothers so um they the

oldest is um has a lot of had a lot of problems he disappeared a lot um accidentally killed some girls oh yeah that's what you're whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa how old were you at the time that i was really really little like just barely remember some of it i was after 11 but when you found out i'm saying he's a lot older yeah but when you found out tell us the story oh but accidentally this is where i was i think this is where i picked up my imaginary microphone it started how the fuck did you sit on this for the entire week she's having no you didn't say even like hey shaley by the way i want you to hear we're gonna get home early to we got a podcast this day all right wow tell us about the accidental murders so well i mean this is why you don't drink and drive. 16,

his friend's dad was like, hey, you guys should drink, and then he was like, maybe we should have a race. This is what I've been told. This is what happened. Oh, you found a newspaper article? Yeah, so he found the article. So they were drunk and racing in

Southern Connecticut, and he was in the lead and didn't see the car with two girls in it. Smash killed the girls. I didn't mean to say it. Hey, don't gloss over this. I've heard it. They haven't heard it. The listeners haven't heard it.

That's me. Two people dead. Yeah, but we're just listening. It's going through her head. Don't fucking. There's so much. Go ahead. I didn't even ever get to the suicide at the United Nations building.

Well, you have time we have time we can rogan link this podcast if necessary um might need more okay right there thanks so it's okay we're worried so the is this the half dad of the brother i mean you're my yeah my dad you're a-brother's dad goads the 16-year-olds in a drink. That was the friend's dad. Go drink, drink, race. You'll drink, you'll race. It's not supreme and special. It was a simpler time back then.

So, yeah, so that, you know, then he hit them head-on, going over a bridge. They were going over a bridge on Route 1. Yeah, and Post Road. And it was just terrible. And my dad lost, like, he had to sell the building and everything. And it just, like, he said. Wait, they, okay, so the parents of the kids that get killed sued your dad and he lost his business.

I believe also the friend's family, because, of course, the friend was hurt, too. Sue everyone! Pretty much. I believe also the friend's family, because of course the friend was hurt too. So did everyone. Pretty much. And that was back before all the laws about giving kids alcohol and responsibility. Okay, so your dad is not Greek Mafia. That part was not Greek Mafia. Your dad is not Greek Mafia, or the Greek Mafia is weak, because he wouldn't have lost his business.

They would have tampered with jurors. No, no, he had the business. He had everything else so he ended up somehow the other guy that bought the building was paying him to rent it like he was he owed my like all the it was like 20 30 years so i don't need the details pointing out sorry i didn't even get to the yeah no breath of death so so So go to it. Yeah. Some of my earliest memories, though. Sorry, I got too far away again.

Just sit. I'm just getting nervous. No, don't get nervous. That's invisible. Just let her get nervous. It causes seizures. I know you really want it, don't you? No, no.

No, we don't. Get the helmet first. Where is the helmet? Where is the helmet, Bingo? It's a hazard. I don't know. Oh, I was going to say Where is the helmet, bingo? It's a hazard. I don't know where it is. Oh, I was going to say grab a football helmet, but we don't have those anymore.

Oh, shit. Do you want to grab a helmet? It has to be. No. Tracy will crochet one really quick. Go ahead. I was just saying some of my earliest memories are when my yaya died and my dad had to fly back to Greece.

We had to have a police presence at the house because there were people in the family trying to kill us over money or something and it was legit so those are some of my earliest memories i just that's what i was just getting at your grandmother yeah okay i mean agree so um but so i was always taught like how to i think this is why when i have some really bad seizures a lot of times i'll hide um because i was my you know i was always taught like this is where you go hide this is what I think this is why when I have some really bad seizures, a lot of times I'll hide. Cause I was, you know, I was always taught like, this is where you go hide. This is what you do. This is how you protect yourself when this happens. So like, it just kind of still in me and kind of react to like that sometimes. Cause it was always, it was always very interesting, very, very interesting growing up.

So do you think kindergarten death threats can sort of lead to having a bit of a wonky break? Oh yeah. I mean, I had to grow up so fast fast and i mean i was begging to be like put in like an institution and being sent to psychiatrists by the time i was in middle school and everyone's like no your brothers are the crazy ones you're fine you have to be the sane one you're fine you know and um yeah so that was i knew that it seems like you've done a lot of like like a lot of your figuring out what's going on has been you and not the medical professions around you no i was i was sent between so many doctors and tried so many things but i was just keeping a diary of like everything um for so long and just kind of going

back through everything and then once i met alan and we started dating like he's really good about that um and he kind of started noticing patterns too so he could bring it up to doctors and say hey and you know this is what's going on yeah you're not a reliable witness by the way he's a reliable witness you are not when did you first get any kind of treatment that was worthwhile from anyone who knew fuck all, as we say in Britain? Yeah, what stands out is like when someone had an epiphany, like this person gets me, like they understand. Really probably like fully was when I got to Maine and I was like 21 and I started going to it was uh my grandmother Bernardine's doctor and it happened to be also my aunt's doctor and so she saw these different three generations of the family and was kind of noticing things and she's like you're having seizures um so there is a

pattern as far as in your family yes my cousin um has seizures a couple others before we get to that yeah because you said earlier they at some point threw holy water on you. Oh, yes. You said it burned. I want you to explain that. Okay. So I have Greek citizenship and a very, very Greek family, very Greek Orthodox family. And they all decided they were going to go with the church to Jerusalem.

Good move. Bring stuff and, you know, Holy Land and all that. So they bring back holy water and they're all joking around. And they always, I mean, they believe in mati, evil eye. So it was always growing up. How old are you? At this point, I was probably 17, 18 maybe, maybe 16. And they always believe, you know, you have the mati the evil eye that's

what's going on so they come home and they're just like oh this will help you well i didn't know at the time i was allergic to clothes and there were clothes in the water um and so they throw it on me and i start screaming and i break out in a rash and like i'm like rising in pain and it's like everyone like i like we told you yeah you proved their theory yeah and it was like that was we just heard howard's talk about his mom and the the evil eye and she had this yiddish word for that thing and that's a powerful thing i mean two generations maybe removed from being over in g. My dad was born there. Yeah.

So you guys are directly. Get back to where you were, where you first got any kind of decent medical advice. Oh yeah. Maine. Middle nowhere Maine. Yeah. And so,

but she sent me to go back to my original doctor and he was just like, oh no. And I was like describing like, oh yeah, there's electrical impulses. I mean, I was just like passing out and, and all that just like oh no and i was like describing like oh yeah there's electrical impulses i mean i was just like passing out and and all that and um oh no i'm like yeah this you know it's like this shot okay um it's like the shot of electric electricity going across my brain and it's like oh he's like it's nothing you just here's the antidepressants here's this you know it doesn't matter like um but you know when i finally started like i find i always thought weed was really bad

and then i finally started trying it and it was actually like i never got like so-called stoned i started probably like 24 um and and i just like it was like okay they've been lying about this this whole time and it's doing nothing for me they not lying. They're just ill-informed and parroting bad advice. Yeah. Following the rules that were enacted 100 years ago. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's like it didn't make me go crazy. I just was like I was normal and I was watching everyone else around me.

Did you like jazz music more? No. It was funny because I'd look around and there'd be so many people, you know, a stereotypical stoner. And they just wanted to eat everything, sit there. And I was just like, I'm, you know, a lot of it too was getting, I was a little nervous too because I was like, oh, I'm freaking out. I'm so bad, you know, but it was like, I feel normal. And then, you know, the states up there started going medical and stuff and they're, you know, doctors started kind of, it wasn't officially, so they were kind of recommending it under the table a little bit. And then I finally went to a naturopath in Connecticut that gave me the CBD hemp oil.

And it was life-changing. It wasn't perfect, but it was the first time. And I was probably, what, like 26, maybe 28. And it was like my other doctor had me go – because I have a lot more problems than epilepsy. And they had me about to sign waivers that said this could kill me or make my organs die. Weed? No, no, this other experimental stuff. And that's when I was like, that's it.

No, I might as well just be on the earth. They tried to get you into the revolving door of prescription medicine. I was on so much medicine. I ended up in the hospital. I was eating through my stomach. Of course, you feel terrible. You feel like I was depressed. I was anxious. I was in pain. I was hallucinating.

They'd given me Oxy. I just started taking that and I just wanted to just end it. Were you able to work at this time? I kind of was, but then since I thought, I was just like, oh, I just have migraines and other things and I'm just nuts. Like, so I just like, at first I had to stop doing hair.

I was actually a director of training at an academy, a salon academy. But because of my arm from my brothers and everything, my shoulders and everything are so fucked up I couldn't do it anymore so I started working for Geek Squad Oh fuck Geek Squad Hold on she might be one of the good ones

She's not wearing her shirt now What the fuck? Or her badge Did you have the badge? I was supposed to get it but I got too sick and I was also being stalked so that was a whole other story Jesus Christ We are unpeeling an onion here that's a whole other story i think we're the internet's out of ones and zeros three ways to go with this well he knows

how to set up a cryptocurrency so you know the shit coin right Stocked Hang on Mr. Al was with you when she was getting stocked Yes Is it a good story Or should I go the other way with How you ended up here Listener Press 1 if you want Doug to go in the direction

Of stalking Caller 7 Which way to go Hi the direction of stalking. Okay, caller seven. Which way to go? Hi, long-time listener, first-time caller. Go with the stalking. I'm laughing hard. I glossed over just because I didn't want her to go too dark and flip out.

Because you were telling me some hideous shit that happened to you as a kid. that maybe like abuse wise yeah it gets it gets worse i've had a couple of situations like very few for as much of a dick as i am uh but i'm in bars i was in bars a lot because i played in a band and there i still get um i can get upset thinking about the couple times I've been assaulted. And it is one of those things where, Doug, you fucking back out of the situations where someone should be throttling you so many times. And you're just charming. You have a way to do that. I admire that because if I would just have – It's the stage. It's only the stage.

This was off the stage. But if I had a way to do that, I could have diffused it and I beat myself up – It's the stage. It's only the stage. But this was off the stage. But if I had a way to do that, I could have diffused it and I beat myself up all the time about that. Like what could I have done? And the assault of one person and then you having these – those are memories. Those never go away. There's no mind bleach.

They don't. And I don't step on – I get a fucking bit about this that finally came together since I've been that bit I've been working on. So I'm not going down that road. Let's go with stalker. Get on the mailing list. Hopefully he's not listening.

Oh, don't. Oh, if he's still around and you know who he is and where he is. Oh, we can out stalk your stalker. Hashtag killer termites. So I was warned when I got this job to be careful of this guy, and I just thought everyone just thought he was. Because, you know, I mean, a lot of people fit the geeky stereotype, you know. And so they're like, oh, something is probably just off.

You mean track record? It's just like, you know, i was probably just awkward about around girls or something um gave him the benefit of the doubt um and it just he's just looking out for my safety while he stares in my window at night it didn't start off like that and i saw like the other girls kind of like that were working there and about to leave kind of like nervous around him like that go ahead um but like and we started bonding because like i already knew like i was having a lot of health problems and so a lot of times like he i didn't realize because he was just always kind of waiting around like he would just oh you need help you need this

like and so like work yeah well because he was worked between all the and umquad employs stalkers? Sorry, this goes back to an earlier podcast where I had an issue with the G-Squad. That's not what she's saying, by the way. She's not saying that. No, I've met a lot of very fine people. I'm just putting it out there. I'm posturing a question. But yeah, it didn't... And then I was moving up in the ranks and stuff,

and I ended up getting promoted to be the DCI, Deputy of Counterintelligence, basically supervisor. But I had to go far away, and he would still be up there. I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop right here. Counterintelligence. Squad is the Ren Faire of employment. They used to fix more.

They just sent more. Hold on a second. The counterintelligence. Morgan Murphy just gave us the shut the fuck up and let her talk sign and I appreciate it. I thought if you were saying that,

I agree. Go ahead. Tell us. C-I-G. That's funny. No, so I should be like saying yada, yada, yada. Then he stalked me.

So it just, then he'd show up there. But like, he's supposed to work between all the stores. What people, you know, my employees started telling me, like, he's like, waits for you. Like, like customers start saying stuff and they would, some of them had some issues. And so I started having to go to corporate and you know i was trying to be nice and not a dick because i didn't want to lose my first mistake yeah and um it just got it got really bad i mean there was times i'd get messages like i'm i'm at a client near your house so i'm gonna drive by and would you want to watch star trek with me

and do this and like he knew alan and he'd always say something like it got to the point where then he started saying oh like he started telling me all the sexual stuff and I'm like oh my god like no this is like just stop I want to poon you like a vulture but um too big yeah yeah it didn't uh to complicate

things he's also lean into the bike son to complicate things he was also mildly autistic well we we don't know how he was yeah yeah until we lock. Well, we don't know how. He was, yeah. Until we lock them all up, we'll never know how autistic they can get. So that. That was a joke. Sorry.

Hang on. Al, this is Mr. Al. That's a good point is when do you go, all right, he's mentally ill, but who fucking cares? He's stalking my girlfriend. And that's why for a long time I made it worse because I was trying to be nice and I didn't want anyone else to find out because he confided with me that he had this and I didn't want to do it. But it got to the point where I was scared to let anyone know I was home.

I was scared to be at work. The people would hide me. And then I was already getting sick and when I didn't want to sign that to be at work. Like the people would hide me. Um, and it just was, yeah. And then I was already getting sick. And when I didn't want to sign that waiver, I left for leave of absence for a while and it didn't stop. So I finally just had to block all things. And when I contacted them and I said, Hey, I have this,

I also heard that, um, I, you know, people were talking about me saying all this other stuff, like, Oh, you know, they wish they could just fire me or whatever. And, you know, since I was so sick and I just was like, I can't, I can't't do this but somehow it's still my fault when i left and last i knew he was still working there so be careful of geek squad you could hashtag me to the entire geek squad until you reach a settlement for the one guy but that's uh also like the me too thing yeah it's too bad if you were famous you could or if he was famous you could out him in the hashtag me too and maybe some justice will come of it but since he's just two fucking idiots working a fuck you you're not famous where's

the model that goes finger banged uh you're not an idiot by the way i don't know what he's saying we don't know that she might every time she says something dumb her inner instinct might say fake a seizure oh they'll never know i'm dumb that's smart yep that's not idiot mr al it's presidential how often That's not idiot. Mr. Al. It's presidential. How often? It's not idiot. It's presidential.

That's funny. We teased this earlier because Bingo will openly admit that you do, Bingo, play the crazy card to your advantage do you ever play that seizure card epilepsy crazy molested where you go oh i can get out of this watch i've probably done the like actually probably more of my stomach problems use that but like the crazy card i'll probably would play more than the seizure one only because i feel so guilty because i thought for so long I was just crazy. So like trying to come to terms with the seizures but once in a while like I'll just like maybe like let it seem a little worse maybe

but I don't like to scare anyone. I was specifically saying about Mr. Al in a relationship beef leaving the cap off the toothpaste kind of dumb shit.

Oh, that'll trigger a seizure. I'll just get confused. Sometimes it'll be something very small, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste or something, and it'll turn into, like, I murdered the dog or something. It was like the worst possible outcome.

But I won't have any idea what's going on. She won't actually know what's going but but i won't have no any idea what's going on she won't actually know what's going on she won't remember not on the air yeah internally she knows i think you could probably milk it a lot more than you normally do because most of your seizures you're cuter than those fainting goats on youtube start a new hashtag. So you have epilepsy. You also have crazy. Has that been diagnosed? So I have PTSD from all the abuse in addition to ones I haven't talked about yet.

Yeah, I like that. I like that. Tease the listener. Stomach problems. Yeah, stomach problems. What's your stomach um they doctors always go back and forth between like crohn's ibs colitis also like everything they just they kind of just it could even just be stomach seizures but i just kind of like whatever it's on a dart at a dartboard is it

you don't really know yeah i've tried they've like literally every doctor has a different diagnosis um when i've ended up in the hospital so said, oh, no, it's this. Try this instead. Like, I remember saying some of it and you telling me, no, stop with that because people will stop listening. So I'll just stop there. Oh, no. Get up to it. He'll tell you when to stop.

I was wrong. I said that when I was drinking. He meant to say save it for the air. said that when I was drinking. He meant to say save it for the air. Are you envious of your Doug Cooper who has the most amazing digestive transit system I've ever seen in my life?

Yeah, unfortunately. We'll get to dog shit later on. Let's just say, unfortunately, one time, like, I've spent a lot of my birthdays having testing done, and one time it was supposed to be a test that took all day where I drank a bunch of barium, and they almost missed it in 15 minutes so yeah my okay body's not that great first of all you said that really snidely oh i get tested uh on my birthday do you

do you know how much it costs how do you go to the hospital they can get you a fucking diamond ring wake up you know what today is you know what today is it's a special day they're gonna poke you and make you swallow bury them get in the cat carrier I don't fit in the cat carrier get in the cat carrier it's a great 18th birthday

yeah see that's why we moved to Florida you're illegal now they can check all your holes what I'm not a gymnast nice call Yeah, see, that's why we moved to Florida. You're illegal now. They can check all your holes. What? Pretty much. I'm not a gymnast. Nice call. All right, so. That made me have such a horrible day.

So, Mrs. Al. Yes. We're happy to have you as neighbors. That's good. You're not sick of a certain age yeah 12 years have gone by you thought i was 28 the other day, but you were drunk. No, I was. Doug, you thought she was 28? You were slipping.

But there was a lot of things at play. You're never going to get that job at the carnival. She was giggling like that all the time. He said it's all the seizures. It just makes my skin look nice. Fresh. It's like a skin peel having a seizure. 30 a day? Instead of a seizure off with this seizure sisters, Bingo and Mrs. Al, it would be a med off would be really like how many meds do you have to take a day?

Now I only have a couple of pharmaceuticals that I, and everything else is just different strains of weed. I have just like – I probably have like 10 or 12 different ones that I rotate through in different forms. Bingo's tried the weed thing, but she's like – I think it was more CBD. It affects her mental illness. CBD was great. Oh, yeah, for her trach scar, the oil to heal it.

Yeah, and that's not psychoactive, so it won't cause it. Bingo, last night when you were, you had this, like your hands claw up. There's a name for it. It's called hand job hand. Sean Rouse hand. Everyone, when she was having hand job hands, all us dudes looked at each other and then we looked at al to see if he was still awake and we go uh maybe not stick our dicks in her hands right now

so and then we try to over serve mr al so if you take our dicks in her hand your dick has a bunch of uh 90 degree angles, perfect. What I was going to say was that while this was happening last night and Al was there watching you and we finally moved you to the couch because we kicked the fucking dogs off the couch. We're sorry about that.

We kicked Jonathan off the couch first. I even said, hey, even in, I'm not British, but this would be a time when she's having a seizure in front of a fucking open fireplace that you might stand up and go. She is the closest to the fire except for Al. It was quite a comfy sofa. But what I was going to say was like, it was very interesting in that we're here at the Doug's Danup compound. We're conditioned to not look at,

to not make a spectacle of things. But I have to say, Bingo was like, she was the chill-out tent for you. She was talking to you a little bit, coming out of it. I mean, Al is your rock. But Bingo was pretty awesome. And she's very comfortable being around that kind of thing, where she knows what's, firsthand knows what's going on. It was very sweet. She's tard comfortable being around that kind of thing where she knows firsthand what's going on.

It's very sweet. She's tard-friendly. It's been really comforting getting to know Bingo. Jonathan and I, because just in two days, every time we were going to do something, you were fucking late. So we called you the tardy-tard because you're always tardy.

I was getting so nervous that I was going to make everyone late, that then I'd have seizures, and I'd be late. So we were a bit late leaving, and I was explaining that I'd sent you a text message because I was waiting here on the compound for you. When we were going out there. When we were going out, and I sent Al a message saying, I'm just on the compound sort of thing. Please don't rush on my account.

And what they'd not done was translate that from British English to American English, which would have read, hurry the fuck up. I'm waiting. No worries. Means all fucking worries.

My favorite translation is the one which means, oh, well, never mind, which means you've ruined everything. No worry. Either way, it's all fucking British English means I'm a cunt. Yeah, basically, we just don't say what we mean, which can be quite... I don't know where you're going to go, because I don't know where the

arc is on this one. I just want to say that when we were coming back, I did want you guys to feel, I hope that us being away for the weekend my opinion is I hope you feel more comfortable in that you can, whatever happens wear your seizure helmet

hang out, whatever I hope that you're more comfortable now in that no one's freaking out. Because I know that that, I talked to Bingo about that, is that you stressing about what might happen might even be a trigger. And I hope you're a little more comfortable with that. I mean, certainly Doug is. He told me all about it. If you remember when Doug was swimming in your pile of vomit.

Yes. When he was breaststroke. Frog swimming. I think that's the best way to look at the whole thing. It really isn't a problem. It was the best move I thought I could make at the time to let you know you're not the fucking weirdest person here. You know who is. The guy swimming in your vomit.

Well, no one else is good at hosting it's like it's like we almost feel like we just like have been here forever in a way it's like it's just been it's like but it's also it just doesn't feel real too especially with my head it's like i'm like am i is this really happening oh yeah big goes gone through that yeah this could be real yeah like why am i here where am i Am I? You ran at a good spot. Turns out that's not on the fucking that's not on the sheet when you're renting. So when we when we found it, because this was like it just fit all like the filters and the parameters.

And then we come here and like on Google, it pops up, you know, it's like Stanhope's house here. You know, do you want to check in? And it's like, oh, my God, we can't move in here. This is going to be weird. You know, like, you know, like it's going to be weird. You know, like, we're going to be like, you know, like, it's going to be weird for you.

It's a shitty house. But at the same time, we were like, we would have bought it if it was any good. Oh my God. At the same time, we're like, but how many times did you get to say like,

oh, because then we, you know, we're like, well, you know, same sense of humor, same this, like we don't have to worry like, well, we might offend you, but like,

just like as long as we just keep our distance, no bug you. You should, if you still journal and I want to ask you about that you should just write down notes what could we possibly say to offend them and try your best i have but you said earlier probably i think it was off the air but you you've talked about all your dark stories online in a blog. Do you want to plug that?

Do you want people to read that? Because my fucking, let's get back to My Morning Express for a second. This is Doug's My Morning Express. Hashtag My Morning Express. I made it clear. Do not bring this back to me because we want it to seem organic that for some reason that no one knows at Headline News, they're ruining our fucking two people.

One fucking Spaniard, I think he put it out in Spanish. Ha ha. Well, he had a fucking emoticon that's the only way i could translate and hashtag my morning express with a link to our fucking podcast really fuck you and then the other guy who said hey it's already my hashtag is already gone. That worked quick. Add Doug Stanhope with the hashtag. You fucking suck. You're every bank robbery movie where they bring the fucking retarded brother who fucks everything up. You're going to have the car running. Well, there was hot dogs on sale.

God damn it. Bubbles is reliable. Bubbles is a good guy. He'll get right. Still. Still hashtag. They will. The message will get through. reliable bubbles is a good guy he'll get right still can you still hash into spanish i do want to tell you because you didn't listen to the podcast you it was explicit i know that this is so two out of the 70 listeners we have that's pretty good i woke up two days in a row

in the mountains where i didn't wake up listeners you know morning hate I wake up angry I didn't wake up angry two mornings in a row because I had no fucking internet I didn't get your dumb fucking email messages about who can buy tickets

because there's a thing wrong with brown paper talk to them I don't wake up Jeff Beamish Because there's a thing wrong with brown paper. Talk to them. I don't wake up. There's a dick in your hand because of Jeff Beamish. Jeff Beamish didn't bother me. I love Jeff Beamish in the morning. I know you do.

Bingo's very upset about my love for Jeff Beamish. He's our morning weatherman. It hurts still. We have similar light bulb hold on a second it hurts you ruin that relationship i know but i wanted to get his attention not unlike john lennon mark david chapman yeah that's your he just wanted someone to say I love you. Plugs. Do you want to plug the stuff you've written? So a lot of it I don't have up anymore. I'm trying to get it back

up, but the only thing I... Don't if you don't want to. No, no. Literally, I've been trying to get it all back up and compile it together. Part of it I've been working on as a graphic novel for a while now. It's like an interactive graphic novel. I just haven't had time to get all the...

Sex robot interactive? I'm listening. It's basically a fucked up adult fairy tale and a lot of the stories that I always felt like, okay, well, some of them are just out there about my life. Were you an adult when it happened to you? No, when I started

writing it up. We need ages. You have to worry about what you're jagging off to. Hey, do you have an illustrator yet? I need a new one because I was trying to do it all myself, and every person I've offered has flaked out on me. I've got an illustrator for you. Awesome. Okay.

Immediately, I try to monetize. Of anyone ever on the podcast, you need the 24-hour buyer's remorse so i don't want to lead you down the road they have real by the way we have to stop that because then i have to wait and then i have to fucking no no we don't we didn't do i don't want to do it i don't want to lead her into making a decision now we can talk off the air when you want to put that together we have the fucking killer termites will put shit together it's not just all fucking

I love that idea of photos of a comic graphic novel and it's interactive too so the reason it's been taking so long is because I try there's no money in interactive go ahead or the internet

so it's basically you get to choose like which character and you go through this, basically all these fucked up psychological situations. Oh, I want to be the one that shakes you off the balcony. I only watch the place. Just to have the upper body strength. It kind of started as just these fucked up fairy tales

and the moral of one of them was like, that's why you don't trust women with big tits. This is like Dragon's Lair. This is like Dragon's Lair when you would hit the joystick to the left and there'd be a stutter on the screen. Choose your own adventure. Choose your own adventure.

When all these weird dating sims are now getting really popular, especially the psychological ones. I've been really itching for like, that's what I've been compiling the worst and most fucked up of my stories. That one's called Once Upon a Mushroom. Oh, I thought you were just compiling

a bunch of shit on banquet tables in your front room. Hoarder's Paradise. No, well, I sell a lot of just random crap online just to supplement stuff. See, that's another thing. Next time we will plug or another time and we'll make it, hey,

we'll do a commercial for your eBay site. Oh, good. But we won't coagulate the two. Yeah, the biggest thing I just- Plausible deniability. Okay. Okay, let's do a break because we have to do long overdue thank yous. So let's do that.

And then the Al's, we're happy to have you as neighbors. And I hope you stick around. We'll be back after I shit in my pajama pants. Just happened. This is Joby with Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Bone. We're kicking off the 2018 season and calling out to the Killer Termites. Dead. All the Killer Termites. Dead. All the fans out there.

We have a couple of things for you. The Killer Termites home at dscdp.com is one of our big homes that you can play with Doug Stanhope, Chad Shank. We're giving away a 44 inch TV. Second place is a tablet and third place is merch. So sign up for that. That's at the end

of the year though, right? No, that's right. When you go to win to win. Okay. When you go to DSCDP, Doug stand up celebrity death pool. If you want to spell it out. Yep. It'll be self explanatory how you get to

do a home search. You search for killer termites killer termites. You know who you are. Yep. Sign up and you get to yeah do a funeral home search you search for killer termites killer termites you know who you are yep sign up and you get to play with all of us and uh win tv if you're good enough now the second one is the big one that's chad shank's home that is bloody shank is the name of the funeral home you have to sign up for this one because it's really good because it's his first home and again first second third he has his own rules uh no no no it's all the same rules all right but uh it's all of his fan base basically all right so if you're a fan of chad's and then because i i saw his tweet and yeah i did too i thought he had some fucking weird thing just go find it find go find Bloody Shank.

Chad Shank has his. There's still time to get in there because I was talking to Joby earlier tonight that we had time to get this. I thought we had passed it. No, it starts on the 30th. Great. January 30th, and that kicks off. So, again, first, second, third place would be prizes. But the more people that sign up, the bigger the prizes are going to be.

So get your friends in there. Anyone you know that wants to play. Stan Hope's in it. Are you going to be in that? I'm going to do it only because you guys set up the new auto draft. I have no time to fucking fuck around. But I do want to support Chad. I do want to get in the killer termites.

And we might do a Shaylee challenge. The Shaylee challenge one would be a great one too. So we'll kick that one. I'll do it get in the killer termites and we might do a shaley challenge ah the shaley challenge one would be a great one too so we'll kick that one I'll do it because of the auto pick you guys that was so good that you guys did that because that's what we did with another sponsor that had a fantasy angle on it I don't want to do the fucking

bullshit research I just want to participate yeah all you have to do is sign up and if you wanted to auto draft you just sign up and that's it and we'll pick all the celebs thank you so yeah the the top hundred most picked people who are supposed to die yeah you get you get a slice of that pie and then trade rounds you can flip them out if you want so uh we do auto book for the football every year absolutely i just realized that we do auto pick it's a the football every year. Absolutely. I just realized that. We do auto-pick. Doug and Kenny figure out who all of us get for teams.

It's the same fucking thing. Yeah, go to Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool. It's like fantasy football or anything else. Fantasy death. Sign up for Killer Termites and Bloody Shank, and we'll see you throughout 2018. It's going to be... We're going to make 2018 look like 2016.

That was the big year of celebrity death. All right, let's get back to the podcast. All right, let's hit some overdue thank yous. I have a shelf. I don't check it. We were supposed to start the whole new year where we're going to hit like every Wednesday or every Wednesday and Sunday or whatever. We haven't done that.

Yes, we have. Oh, really? Yeah. When does it come out? Wednesday. So every Wednesday. The two that have passed? Yes.

Well, we don't talk about it. Well, maybe you should talk about it. Yeah. Every Wednesday, the podcast comes out. What time? have passed yes well we don't talk about it well maybe you should talk about it about it yeah every wednesday the podcast comes out what time well for the i send it out all right fuck it it's wednesday i send it out early so that the uk some dime podcast our second biggest listeners are in the uk and that's why i send it out late on Tuesday yeah step up America but as soon as I sent it out it's funny because it's last one with the

my morning express people were hitting it immediately like like US like domestic they know these are the overnight motherfuckers these guys I work those jobs yeah you fucking do it I'm gonna miss some but I have a shelf that I've been throwing stuff underneath

where I go oh I should so thank you Yeah, you fucking do it. All right, I'm going to miss some, but I have a shelf that I've been throwing stuff underneath where I go, oh, I should. So thank you, Lusky Art, L-U-S-K-Y. They have these books that have some funny shit that Gump was. Gump is going to be on an upcoming podcast. The Gumps, the camper kids. Yeah, they'll be on it up. But yeah, I make them read anything you send me that's a

comic book style thing gupp will read it as best he can so yeah he's still supposed to i had on my notes from weeks ago gump's book reports some fucking guy sent me like printed off science fiction short stories and i said go read these and write a book report because he's at a mental age where he should be doing book reports his homework i don't think he's done that he doesn't get around to a lot he's an early stage derrick or kenny so lusky art i i gave these to gump it's it's as a graffiti art as a comic strip it is it's it's i i flipped through it when i was mentally taking a shit and i could see where that would be fun while you take a shit. I don't get it. I think what you're trying to say is everything that gets sent here is redistributed somehow.

Someone will get something out of it. Redistributed. This is from the guy who pronounces it antibiotics. Puma cats. Instead of the Bisbee Pumas. That's the fucking name of the high school. Pumas.

He says Pumas. Do you say Renaissance too? Renaissance. Who would say that? Who would say that? Some people do. All right. We got audio boom.

Sent us champagne that we brought. They put it in these wooden caskets that are gorgeous, but you forget there's champagne in there, and you think it's a dead weasel. We repurposed those, by the way. Repurpose them. Yeah, we put shittier champagne in. Yeah.

There's a bottle of Andre in a gorgeous wooden box. Thank you, Audioboom. What is that big package? This is from Bill Nash. Right before we left for Hawaii, it's Nash Guitars. Phoenix? He sends us a Bible.

He sends us everything. Two Bibles and one of the Buddhist, what's the one, the Buddhist one? It's the orange book cover. Oh, in the Gada De Vida. In the Gada De Vida. He sent those from Vietnam. He was over there and he sent some t-shirts

From the Hard Rock Is that still a thing? Hard Rock? Yes Phenom Phen Phenom Pen Phenom Oh my god

You stink at everything Bill Bill Nash I love the guy He sends us stuff all the time And he's tickled to There's a couple of I never wrote their names down Because it was Bill Nash, I love the guy. He sends us stuff all the time, and he's tickled to... There's a couple of...

I never wrote their names down, because it was in the vintage street signs of any kind that we've been putting up all over the house. I'm sorry, I forgot who sent the vintage... Those are going up, because Joby knows how to put them on the fucking outside, inside of the fence. And he'll be putting up the parking meters I bought, old parking meters.

You bought those? I bought the parking meters, but a lot of the fucking signs. And that was back when I was fucked up and doing something. So thank you, the vintage signs. Fuck yes. Oh, Bill Nash sent a bunch of money that is... He sent a rack of Vietnam money?

I don't know what it is. I just paid Denise. It's Phnom Penh's? Is that Sean Penn's? Kinfolk? I just bonus the working crew at the stand-up store. Also, I want to say thank you to... Someone sent us velvet truffles from the Highland Chocolatier, and that's Helen and John.

Oh, I just re-gifted those. No, they're right here, Doug. I had one. Oh, shit. Well, I just re-gifted... Where's Mrs. Gump? Hi. Is that...

I just gave you Highland Chocolates, right? Yeah, it's Highland Chocolates. That's a very stony. Oh, wait, no. It was different. Then it was different packages because I have my own letter. I'll pay.

I'll give you $40,000 in... Dongs. Dongs. Yeah, Malaysian Dongs. 40 Dongs. Can I just point out that Phnom Penh is in Cambodia and not Vietnam. Where's that?

It's next to Vietnam. I don't fucking know. The guy sent me an email saying he's going to Vietnam. All right. We conquered those countries, so we didn't have to say their names. Helen and John. Oh, they're Brits. Helen and John.

They did send us separate packages. I remember. They're from Scotland, actually. Okay. I regifted. Oh, she's eating right now. Mrs. Gump. That's the next podcast.

This is for you guys. An upcoming evergreen., that's the next podcast. This is for you guys. An upcoming evergreen. Thank you for the owls. Yeah, she's eating chocolate caramels. Okay. Gump, Mr. Gump, I re-gifted. Come on, where's your fucking name of your stupid business? Use your eyes.

Here's a T-shirt I made for my company. Where's your fucking? They're based on Soviet World War II propaganda posters. You can't make fun of it unless you can see it. Well, Gump said, I can't wear this. It looks because people don't like Nazis. I go, it's not Nazis. It's Soviet.

And then Morganphy chimed in oh he's worried that people who are too dumb are gonna stomp his head in because they don't know nazis from soviets anyway so does it have a fucking name brand on the back gildan no it's not. Next level. Anyway. All-style. Ooh. Classic. What is it? All-style. No, that's the brand of the T-shirt, isn't it? All right.

The guy doesn't even... It's RKLE Master at... That's all right. Yeah. Thank you for the Soviet thing. And... This is the cutest. Morgan Murphy and I. Morgan, a new neighbor.

Part time. Thank fucking Christ. We'll see you at the city council meeting. Putting up them lights. Morgan and I donated some neighbors, some kids that are doing some shit for school.

They came by. Dear Doug, my best friend lives across the street from you. We have suspicions, misspelled, that Johnny Depp visits you. misspelled that Johnny Depp visits you. So I would like it if it's okay with you and it's okay with Johnny

for you to notify us if he's ever across the street. Thank you. Yours truly, the neighbor's friend. And then there's a sketch of Johnny. That's fucking awesome.

100 bucks a pop, right? It might be the Al's. That could be Al's. I want to put that in the bathroom. We put all the artwork in the bathroom. I don't remember what happened. I was having a seizure when I sketched that picture. All right.

I hope Doug tells me when Johnny shows shows up i might not even know how's this fucking this kid selling candy bars gonna fucking works his schedule around when you're leaving yeah clearly clearly yep uh chaley i got a lot of this from the last podcast i started talking about this at the top of the hour when you the last podcast the one that went out while we were up in Pinos Altos

no this is not a two-parter no the last podcast where you tag the Tucson terrestrial radio on the end of it. They go, the funniest part. I get at least five tweets saying the snoring was hilarious. I saw that.

And they blamed you. You even heard it. I saw that. Even the owls heard it. What the fuck is this? Well, they don't know. You weren't in studio. No.

You were taping it. Snoring. From your hotel room on the actual AM clock radio. Fucking wasted. Chad, Tracy, and I closed the fucking bar, the karaoke bar, like crazy drunk. And then we go back, and I go, Tracy, I'm waking up. And I set my alarm, and I set a coffee mug next to the am radio that's in the fucking i know how you do high dig place and i woke up every time there was music going on i like we just hit it and then on

my phone and i would just wake up when like they're getting out of aerosmith hang on the owls actually heard that you heard him snoring because he snores like nobody's fucking. No, I saw on Twitter. I saw people talking about that and that everyone thought you were dead. So they said they were going to follow him. It's weird. People knew it was you. But they didn't know it was me.

They were mistaken in thinking it was me. Nobody thought it was anyone else. At the 1 hour me nobody where was where was the snoring at the one oh hour 50 mark oh on the recording yeah oh absolutely me 100 i just want to read this really quickly uh fuck i didn't even look up what town this was in because i had a beef on the road months ago with a fucking cunt at La Quinta. It was a shitty town. Before you go into that, Chad had talked about on the podcast how funny it would be if Tracy and I were just driving home, listening to the radio with you guys on the air and us not listening and talking the whole time.

Instead, I went one step further i snored while i recorded you guys you have a famous snore it's pretty epic all right guys can't wait it hurts me to not know what la quinta this was but it was one where I had to go outside and smoke but then when I get drunk I said fuck it I had $250 upstairs and we drove to the left

and it was a comedy club but like they had like fucking nobody like does road these are all Midwest road workers What the fuck Tracy Tracy left her bag there Tracy left her bag at the place

You feeling it? Yeah yeah Cause I said hey I'm going down Oh shit bag Hang on someone sent bingo A turquoise bag I forgot this in the thank yous Cause I don't have a note Hang on. Someone sent Bingo a turquoise bag. I forgot this in the thank yous because I don't have a note.

But someone sent there a glittery turquoise and gold handbag. Oh, okay. So anyway, back into your deep thoughts. We left the venue and I said, Chase, I'm going downstairs. We're on the first floor. I'm going down to the car. I need you to check out. Tweet yourself back smoking.

This is my thing. I have to, because of Doug, I have to give other people responsibilities on the road. So I said, Tracy, I'm leaving the room. I'm going to load the car. You and Andy will check out of this. And then that was the place. There was smoking.

You could go out front. You could go out front. You could go out back. Okay, then it wasn't. It was a very colored front desk and white tweaker, smoking, not walking distance to any. It was a fucking La Quinta, and they had these fat, doughy, like Bad Santa 2 when the fat kid grows up and now he's just a knock need bloated they have security guards you're like really you're securing me this fucking bloated kid comes bangs on my fucking door when i'm i'm smoking

and we're all smoking and he bangs on the door and a cloud of smoke comes out he goes um we smell cigarettes sorry i gave him a gump voice and i go what and i just slammed the door in his face and then in the morning i check for the i i never check my bill in the morning but but I go, I bet they fucking nailed me for that $250. And the lady says, I go, what's this $250 charge for smoking? She goes, well, and then she had that beat out in the computer report. The security guard came to your door and I had this flim flam no that stupid

fucking dunce cap and I called the manager from the next town of the hotel cause she wasn't in at the time we checked out no I go I'm just gonna charge it back on my credit card and that was months ago and I just got this

hey La Quinta at la quinta oh fuck that's the wrong here it is card member service we're contacting you regarding your dispute with la quinta ends in the amount of $250, blah, blah, blah. We have concluded our investigation, and the case was found in your favor. The provisional credit we issued to your account is now permanent. Not guilty, Your Honor. Go fuck yourselves.

Hey, Doug. The smells that were emanating from the other long-term lodgers in your fucking filth motel. I'll give you a good Yelp review next time you don't fuck with me. Hey, Doug. Do you smoke in that room? No. No, I didn't, Mr. Tailey.

room no no i didn't mr tailey my story was and stands that that fat security douche saw me smoking followed me to my room and then knocked to say he smelled cigarette smoke and this is a scam that they repeat to get oh this is an award you get at the Christmas party for the most smokers you catch. Exactly. Hey, you smell like cigarettes. Yeah, you just saw me smoking outside in the designated area with the same coat. Oh, my God. The really dumpy woman during the day when we were smoking outside was having crying, during the day when we were smoking outside was having crying,

screaming, domestic violence calls while she's chain-smoking. Fuck you, La Quinta. So remember a lot of these hotel rooms? That's the way I got married at once. You got married at a La Quinta? Yeah.

That's the saddest part of your story. Let's get out of here. I'm trying to quit smoking for at least a piece a minute. We got to do audible. I only have a limited amount of time before I have to go to New York for a second to do Stern. And I'm going to try to quit smoking for at least five or six days to get rid of the coffee maker cough that I have. Because I know how much it disgusts him as much as chewing disgusts me. So I want to get rid of this fucking cough.

So I'm going to try to quit smoking for five days. Starting tomorrow. Maybe after. Come on. Maybe after football. I don't know. I don't know how many days I have. Rogan put in an air system for you.

Boom. Yeah, and it didn't work. I outsmoked his state-of-the-art anti-smoking thing. Merchandise. Buy merchandise at DougStanhope.com slash merch. Signed books from you and Bingo. Yes, and a bunch of other shit. Books.

Oh, we have the new Papa Vodka Presents T-shirts. To go with the Papa Vodka Presents special that's on Vimeo, which I still have not figured out how that works. Chaley, Hennigan put that up. It's fucking old bird material, but it's nothing you've heard before. It's just stuff I wanted out that we filmed here in the fun house. Find that on Vimeo or iTunes. I don't fucking know.

We got VHS coming out soon. I'll look that up. It's weird you put out a special when you're out of town or sleeping a lot. Or don't know about it. Don't know about it don't know and no place like home that we put out on cso brilliant move stanhope yeah get the fucking guy that pays the most i was really about who can put it out first because it was a lot of time sensitive material and now cso doesn't exist so where can you get it it's on itunes it's on if killer termites exist it'll be

on youtube we ran out so we're not supposed to say we're actually trying to get it and dates listen up canada asia i think australia is up to date but uk yeah only london is up yeah we will be doing other dates don't come from manchester if you live by ipswich by the bay in the sea we're not coming there but if you live in a major town in canada or the uk yeah we're probably gonna do do Scandinavia, the major places. Don't book a fucking ticket. Yeah, we'll get there. Why are you telling people not to go see you? I'm saying don't panic.

Well, I was going to fly from Vancouver. Yeah, we're going to be in fucking Montreal and Vancouver. I guarantee you. Ipswich is an entertainment desert. If you're in Ipswich by the fucking bay, yeah, buy a ticket to London because I don't know what's near there. But if you live in a major city that's near one of the pivot wheels of these tours,

yeah, hold out. Hennigan's hoping that you book fucking airfare and tickets to London. Wait, he gets a piece of airfare? Probably. That guy's fucking good. He doesn't ask for a piece of the podcast. He's good.

And you know why? Because there's no money in it. Click. Did you say click? No, she said, hey, play this song. What's the song? Spastic? Miserlew?

Come on, Earthquake. Who's the band? Spastic? Miserlew? Come on, Earthquake. Who's the band? Who's the artist? Agent Orange. Agent Orange. And Great Strain, too. All right. Here's the song.

Come on, Casey Kasemit. And here, now you're listening to... And now you're listening to Miserlew by Agent Orange. Do-do-do-do-do. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be right back..