The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #253: BONUS Podcast from Melbourne, Australia

Episode Date: April 6, 2018

While waiting around for the Australia tour to begin, Doug and Brian bust out a quick BONUS podcast from a hotel balcony in Melbourne.Go to [http://www.dougstanhope.com/tour-dates/](https://www.pencity.com.au) for tickets to all upcoming 2018 shows in Australia, Canada and the UK. Recorded April 04th, 2018 from a hotel balcony in Melbourne, Australia with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Brian Hennigan (@MrHennigan). Produced by Hennigan. Edited by Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille)This episode is sponsored by Pen City - [https://www.pencity.com.au](https://www.pencity.com.au)/  AND  Hill of Content Bookshop - [http://hillofcontentbookshop.com/](http://hillofcontentbookshop.com/)Closing song “Washin' My Big 'Ol Pussy”, by Birdcloud. Available on iTunes.LINKS:Dogs of War - Dogs Of War - [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080641/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080641/)Chad Shank Voice Over info at [www.AudioShank.com](www.AudioShank.com)Support the Innocence Project - [www.innocenceproject.org](www.innocenceproject.org)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. introduce myself. My name is Elizabeth Ralph and I coordinate cultural reviews for cultural reviews department for 4ZZZ. I'm contacting you today in regards to your show at the Greek Club. We have a contributor who is keen to attend the show and write a review. Is there any opportunity for a ticket for Chris to attend Doug Stant

Hope's upcoming show at the Greek Club, please? Doug Stant Hope's upcoming show at the Greek Club, please? Doug Stant Hope. What was this for ZZ? For Triple Z. Oh, Triple Z. They think they're big. They have a lot of Zs.

Yeah. When it comes to the last letter of the alphabet, they've cornered it. Dear management... Yes. I think we should just respond with a link to tickets. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Link to the tickets.

Is there any opportunity for a ticket? Yeah. Right here. That's exactly what we should do or maybe we should include a link to uh the bbc one the youtube thing oh yeah i'll let you handle that yeah that's funny uh i'm on a balcony on the 28th floor of a downtown building cbd yeah in the central business district of Melbourne everything is fine from up here it's once you get down on the street

it turns into New York City it's very narrow the fastest walkers Hennigan and I am here with Brian Hennigan and together we fancy ourselves speed walkers in American life

just get the fuck out of my way. We both walk very fast. It annoys bingo. Here, we're slow. Really? Yeah, I get lapped here. Oh, I've not been lapped. But if you want to stop and, like, just trying to find a place to smoke.

That's what I mean. You try to stop and smoke. But even just generally walking, I'm slower than these. They're a bunch of business fucks. They're in a hurry. They have fucking 35 minutes for lunch, I assume. They're fucking pegged suits. I'll save this for this stage.

This is, we got to We got to Melbourne Thursday or something today? Tuesday. You arrived Tuesday morning. Very early Tuesday morning. I arrived Monday morning. And we don't have a show till Saturday. So now I'm day three and I just, every time I go

downstairs and see people, I can't wait to get on stage to throttle and trash them. Which won't be till Hobart, which is a whole different community. Tasmania. I don't think Hobart's like Byron Bay. No, it's going to be, as they say in the book that I'm reading, The Fatal Shore. By Robert Hughes. Fucking fantastic.

I would have never picked that book up. Let's get to whatever you said at sushi. Oh, I said one of the great things about Melbourne because it's a retarded city. You said it even more vulgar and coarse. Yeah, it's true though i mean like melbourne backward city it's a backward city because uh it has the overall feeling of being in the uk 15 to 20 years ago in terms of its cultural and technological status i mean using

wi-fi here i mean we're this is the first time we've ever stayed anywhere that had close to american levels of wi-fi when i say here i mean australia i mean australia has got notoriously appalling wi-fi and one of the things that that means is that one that one the one of the side effects of that is melbourne and other and other australian cities still have fucking bookshops which is amazing i love the fact that you can complain about a city being backwards because it still has bookshops well no i, it's... 15 years ago, as you're saying,

we're 15 years behind the times. You would have lauded a city for having an extensive amount of bookshops. I am lauding it now. I'm lauding it now. I'm saying Melbourne's a great city because it's still backward enough.

It's still backward enough to have book shops my old joke about i think it was about chattanooga tennessee where the joke was they say it's 20 years behind the times and i said great send me there because i used to have fun 20 years ago that's very funny the uh yeah it got me where i am today they uh they uh i also one of my one of my one of my i showed you the bag favorite ever names of a bookshop hill of content what a fucking great name for a bookshop hill of content and again i worked it out later because it didn't work out at the time i wasn't firing on all cylinders it's a bookshop that's narrow and is on four floors. I don't know.

I feel they should have called it Mountain. I mean, again, furthermore, they could have just called it Mount Content. Because then you get a play on the words content. You can fix everything. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, that's a great bookshop. I went to Metropolis Bookshop today which is in the a hidden place in the they had a bar there yeah below the below metropolis bookshop was a cookie which is a

fucking uh thai restaurant come bar i went to uh it's like the bradbury building in LA. The better. I went to, I got up. Again, ridiculous schedule. I woke up at 9 p.m. We saw Bird Cloud here in Melbourne. I was filming a documentary. Had a brief visit with them. Got home. Get to bed at a reasonable hour at midnight.

I go, all right, I'm back on a schedule. But still woke up at i don't know five already slept again till six hoping breakfast would be open at seven i waited till eight ate that subway sandwich i bought last night 8 30 in the morning i went down to the breakfast buffet got a coffee snuck my baileys and whiskey down to make it a good coffee and then i was off and running i was up here reading my book the fatal shore the fatal shore it's a history of the australia it's roots it's beginnings it's fucking brilliant i can't remember reading a book that i enjoyed this much. I wished I could...

Look, the guy's dead. He died in 2012. He was a great guy. I was explaining to you one of my entrees. Hang on. My point being that once I have that Bailey's whiskey coffee, then I go, might as well have another.

You poured me one because they don't have proper... This is something I've been talking to Hennigan another. You poured me one because they don't have proper fucking. This is something I've been talking to Hennigan about. That's me. Yeah. And I'm talking to the listener. You know, a lot of people that listen to this are Joe Lunchbuckets fucking turning cranks and pressing keys fucking 10 hours a day. And they don't care if it's boring.

But over here, nowhere outside of the United States or possibly Canada, does anyone come around with a pot of coffee? If you order a cup of coffee, it's this thick rancid fucking motor oil that they squeeze through some old fashioned press. It's like fucking Guinness beer to

a Bud Light. So I put a fucking Bailey's and a coffee, a whiskey in this coffee, and it didn't even hurt it. It was barely a floater. People of Melbourne are very proud of their coffee. It's fucking everywhere. It's fucking the UK.

No one in the UK is proud of their coffee, but people of Melbourne are very proud. But no one has a pot. Like Alice in fucking Mel's Diner swings a big pot of coffee around. Regular or decaf, they say. They have a full pot and they refresh your fucking coffee. Here, they're going to fucking squeeze it with a fucking sandwich burner or some shit. I don't fucking know how they make it.

And it's disgusting when it finally shows up two hours late. Yeah. And then when you want a second one, you have to ask hennigan my point is i started drinking early then you left and i went oh thank god i didn't want you frowning upon me for drinking at fucking 9 30 in the morning and then when i text you in the same same prose that I've been reading this book, it is imperative that we have ice. Be it through a subway. We have to get ice at Subway. I have to spend $4 on a fucking big cup just to get ice.

I don't want a soda. I just want the biggest cup. You have to get ice. We asked at the front desk where we can get ice for cocktails because we're in an Airbnb above a hotel. That's the thing. And they said, oh, you're in the hotel? Well, we're above the hotel. Well, then there's a petrol station in East Melbourne.

Like, you have to go out of fucking town to get ice you cocksuckers but that's the problem one of the things i realized about australia and melbourne is that climate wise and and ecology wise and well frankly everything wise they had the opportunity to reinvent themselves as a new america and they chose to be younger than america and they chose to read themselves then reinvent themselves as a new britain meaning they've carried on before i get any shit they're the white people are newer than america yes i know people lived here before white people colonized it but yes it, as far as that goes, younger than America, and they still...

The point being that they have chosen to inhabit the cloak of the UK's culture as opposed to going, you know what? We're free of all that. We can do what the fuck we want. That's why they don't have ice. Maybe they

just don't like ice. Maybe they just don't like ice. Maybe they still hate cold beverages. We're living in a country. We're currently in a city, Melbourne, which has the highest temperatures in the Southern Hemisphere. Sometimes it goes up to 136 here.

And you still can't get ice. You know my predilections. I have cocktail straws in my pocket. Little tiny cocktail straws. Oh, that was with that bar that Bird Cloud played at. They do the same thing as the UK with metering out the smallest portions of alcohol. Yeah, the Cherry Bar. I love the fact that it broadcasted itself as probably the best rock and roll bar in the world.

I'm sorry, but really, no one's talking about you. There wasn't a single person I've ever heard go, oh, wait till you get to the Cherry Bar in Melbourne. ever heard go oh wait till you get to the cherry bar in melbourne we actually didn't watch bird cloud set because if you guys listening have ever been to one of those shows where i have to do the uh send your short people to the front this was a fucking tiny i probably had 60 people in it yet you couldn't see the stage because if there's anyone standing in front of you unless you're six

actually seemed like it had a slope going the wrong way towards the stage like you know and most of the people that are in there were not consuming the music they were sitting around talking which is what you do when music is on.

Yeah. But I had just woken up, too. I napped for three or four hours, so I was just fresh out of bed, going into a very loud, clammy fucking bar full of people that want to be in a bar that has music. And I don't like that no I'm against it I never get to my point earlier when I was afraid

of you frowning on me for drinking on one of our several days off then I went away and drank I texted you again in the prose of that book first we must find fish because there's a great sushi place right next door. Kai Ten Sushi.

And you said, well, I've been drinking. Yeah. I thought you'd get that I've been drinking too by the fucking text I just sent you. So we're on the same page and you decided you're all fired up and want a fucking podcast so here we are yeah i went so i went to a bunch of bookstores and uh and uh i mean again here's how good this being being a retarded city is you still have pen shops shops that are dedicated purely to pens and there's like a bunch of them and there's one that's called pen city on elizabeth street and it is fucking amazing well let's uh let's take a break

and uh let's uh do some advertising for uh pen city hey melbourne how are you doing out there hey you ever want to send me a letter, fan mail? You want to send it to Doug Stanhope, care of the Stanhope podcast at 212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. What are you going to write it with? A pen. Penn City. Penn City on Elizabeth Street in Melbourne. We only accept letters that are being written on pens that have been bought from penn

city you have to attach your seat you have to write with a pen from penn city on a pen from penn city if you really want the extreme doug stanhope experience yeah that's the only those are the only handcrafted letter communications that are accepted at the compound. So Penn City, Elizabeth Street, Melbourne, that is the go-to destination for writing to the Doug Stanhope podcast. Hey, you know what? You think Melbourne, Australia is not convenient to your workday week up there in Bloomington, Illinois? Yes, it is.

Yeah. Catch an easy flight on Delta. Yeah, and furthermore, it simply shows you're not committed to nibs, because nibs are everything when it comes to penmanship. And Penn City on Elizabeth Street, they know their fucking nibs. When you ask them to show

you their collection of Lamy and other fine fountain pens, including Schaefer, it's astonishing the nibs they can produce. And of Lammy and other fine fountain pens, including Schaefer. It's astonishing the nibs they can produce. And you can fill the nibs yourself using their, there's a reservoir system. Anyway, the point being. Penn City.

Penn City. If you don't like the pen you get from Penn City, you can shove it up your ass and find your prostate. Yeah. And now back to more of the Doug Stano podcast right after I pause and get myself a drink. Okay. You have a pause button there? Do we press that?

Or Chaley can... The one that says, you know, it's good. And we're back. I was hoping you'd notice how quickly I came back. Well, I forgot when I talked to you about sushi and I had to run right away. I just poured a full drink and put it in the fridge. So when I went to go make a new drink, I went, oh, shit. I also noticed you'd made a mistake and that you've brought up two takeaway cups from breakfast, but we don't have a microwave.

No, those are juice. Oh, those are juice? You know, the cool bottle? They're like mason jar bottles. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I tried to steal two of those from the breakfast buffet, and they chased me down to the elevator. Are you serious?

Oh, no, you can't take those bottles. It's like when you get a classic Coke in Costa Rica in the glass bottles, but, yeah, it's a fucking nickel deposit or something. So they don't let you take the bottle. That's what they did. They made me put it in coffee cups. I was chastised. It's not like Bangkok,

where I kind of feared for my freedom by taking juice off the breakfast. Also, in fairness, just to go back to the pouring coffee, the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong did come out with coffee. And it was pretty decent coffee. Of course, it is meant to be

one of the best hotels in the entire world. So it would be very odd if they didn't have decent coffee. It was a nice hotel. It was a great hotel. But it was very much like this in the central business district so as soon as you walk out the door you're in this flux of human traffic that you you can't pause to take a breath but once that once the rush hour is over like when we went to see bird car last night the streets are pretty empty i know it was fantastic yeah that's the whole point about these so-called cbds which are the center of not just

australian but asian cities everyone now uses this phrase or this you know aphorism you know abbreviation cbd yeah acronym yeah so instead of saying downtown they now say cbd CBD. Acronym. Yeah, acronym. Yeah. So, instead of saying downtown, they now say CBD. Alright. You down with CBD? Are the people's OPP? What else is in your notes? Well, we're not broadcast.

Broadcast? No. We basically managed to... I think we're... broadcast. Broadcast? No. We basically managed to... You want to go back to San Diego? We have to go back to San Diego. Because we did a podcast in San Diego which didn't address San Diego itself.

San Diego itself. And or... That fucking club. That American comedy club. Oh yeah, that guy. Do guy shit all over that guy yet no i think i did on a different podcast yeah it would help if you as my manager ever listened to my pod shut up but you don't well again you're a busy man i'm interested in things that move tickets we haven't addressed me making a movie well you don't want to talk about it

I don't mind talking about it now? yeah you didn't want to talk about it because if it was a big failure no no no I have no such apprehensions alright

well you did at the time no I didn't I didn't even tell Bingo what you were doing oh I kept it secret I don't want to tell people well no no I don't want to tell people before I no i know i don't want to tell

people in the before i like as you're about to start making it because then you guess it falls apart no yeah like for all and you know uh and it went well i decided to make a movie in vegas for multiple reasons uh those reasons hopefully one of them is to be self-sustaining when I jump off this 28 store fucking balcony when I run out of cigarettes. Was he jumped? Or did he push? What the fuck? Have we been drinking?

Was he jumped? Or did he push? Well, I mean, you know, it's one of those things where I worked out how to make a movie I didn't work out how to make a movie you made three movies I made two short movies and one feature now

and all I did was you write for the resources you have and so I like working with the people we filmed our last special with. You can always tell a movie that is based on a play where it's all set in this. Glenn, Gary, Glenn Ross has like three sets, but it doesn't feel that bad though. It's not like there are other movies that were, which are like based on plays. And you go, what the fuck were you fucking like, one of the things that again

a very important point about that Glengarry Glen Ross very important point, what's the most memorable scene? Coffees for closers. Yeah, that's not in the play. Oh. Right. So that's what they understood Good, because that's where it doesn't sound like

fucking mammoth. Yeah, but the point No, he wrote it. I know but the point is uh they understood enough to say this needs more and the problem is there are too many plays where it's like oh no you know we have to follow the text and it's like no you you don't you augment the text it's a fucking film now. It's a different product. Anyway. Back to your film. Oh yeah. So I liked working with the people we filmed. For some reason I thought a dog just walked in the room. That was bizarre.

First, I like working with the people we filmed No Place Like Home with. They're based in Vegas. I couldn't afford to... The giant Mormons? Yeah, I couldn't afford to pay the giant Mormons to travel. So it's like, okay, now we have to make it in Vegas. So, okay, what can I make in Vegas?

Well, I can't afford location fees for any hotels, so it has to be desert. So, okay, what would we do in the desert? Oh, we'll make it about people who are in the desert. Well, I can't afford costumes. What are cheap costumes? Well, it's cheap if they're all dressed the same. Who's all dressed the same?

The army. Right. So we're going to make it about Nevada National Guard in the desert. Mr. Hennigan, what inspired you to make this masterpiece? I'm fucking cheap. Yeah, I have no fucking money. So that was it. And then I wrote up.

It should be all about me and my couch. I wrote it based on that. And then we filmed it and then I wrote it should be all about me and my couch I wrote it based on that and then we filmed it and we cast it locally so there was no fucking you know

yeah I didn't get to audition for that no way you're not local otherwise you'd have seen it on the dailies you'd have been looking at your actors access

like every other that's what you're supposed to be doing for me yeah that's why I'm stuck working a fucking tavern in Hobart, Tasmania. It's a great tavern.

It's a very prestigious tavern. It's on the waterfront. I looked at their website. It says comedy every month. Yeah. Hey, I'm Miss April. They're very excited. Yeah, and so I made this movie.

The only bad thing that happened, it wasn't the only bad thing, it was a huge bad thing, because it's set at night, because we couldn't afford lights. So we said, we'll film it at night. And on the third to last night, I'd rented this bargain basement Airbnb.

And I came back at four in the morning and I'd been burgled and they'd stolen everything. Oh, yeah. Maybe we haven't. I think we alluded to this. Oh, I have alluded to it, but I'm sure we haven't talked about it.

So you had all your shit. Literally everything, including my fucking underwear. Because it was a very, like, I decided to run the schedule. By the way, I'm saying schedule now because I'm so annoyed about Americans. What type of underwear, Brian? And I say this knowing that we have an underwear sponsor. And it's probably a different brand. It's very upsetting because I had everything lined up.

I was like four days out from us going on the Asia tour. So I'd start to line up because we pack properly. We're not like you fucking idiots who start packing the day before and have no idea how to fold things. You don't have to call people idiots. We're coming off the fan appreciation podcast if this goes out in order which it won't.

A lot of times you're just hopeful to get the fuck out. One of the things you do for sanity's sake is start packing four days early which yeah that's right because we're not like chumps and so we'd start packing and and i had everything laid out like i had i literally had a pile of sax underwear and a pile of theory t-shirts and and a pile of adidas socks and and the the burglars came in and just went

oh great it's all lined up and scooped it all up into my own suitcases and so forth and just ran off for the listener who's thinking the same thing as me did he not just call you idiots and chumps as he talks about how the burglars had it all set up to just swipe his stuff into a bag that's right you the listener are a chump not brian hennigan who had all his stuff stolen and they even stopped to fucking make pie or something didn't they act this is not a joke like so what we can work out from is that they came into the Airbnb. They turned off the power. And here's the important point. And this place was fully alarmed.

And I'd set the alarm. Was it a house or an apartment? It's a full house. Like a one level house. A standalone. Yeah, yeah. Chili and Tracy stayed there. Yeah, yeah.

But they're not here. No, but the point being that they can vouch for this as a full-on alarm system. But the full alarm system, you just turned off the power and that stopped it. It was like, well, everyone... And your power switch is on the

outside of the building. So, in what sense is it an alarm system if you can just turn it off? It's almost like you're basically saying oh, there are rules for the game and you don't play by the rules. It's like, yeah, so

basically they came in, they had enough time to load all of my underwear into the fucking... 30 seconds. We already spelled that out. How you had it all set it up for burgers. And then I had a bunch of, you know, instant microwave

stuff to make for film because you don't have much time to eat. And they evidently felt they had enough time to make macaroni and cheese. And it wasn't just... But they had to turn to make macaroni and cheese. And it wasn't just... They had to turn the power back on for that. Exactly. That's what they must have done.

They turned it back on. They made macaroni and cheese. And here's the important point. It wasn't unfinished. They finished it. The little plastic bowls were empty. And then there was a trail going back out over the the back of the airbnb with assorted paperwork and shit literally leading into the horizon like some sort of you know sherlock holmes

like joke you know like oh what what way did they go and but cops actually showed up the cops showed up tag white privilege on this they showed up in in numbers like i called up uh the l you know just 9-1-1 i don't know what's where else the fuck to do you know just called up night and like hey i appear to have been burgled appear and uh they said have you been have you my spidey senses tell me by the fact that all of my shit is gone including my macaroni and cheese i appear to have been burgled and i and they and you know within like 20 minutes in downtown vegas three cars showed up by the end of the by the time dawn broke it was like seven of them and uh they were they did the whole have you been inside i went no i just looked and saw that my front door been was open and all my shit was gone and they did the whole going in going it's very you know it's great just to be on the the periphery of drama where someone's going

hey they they shouted out this is down to this this is this is las vegas uh sheriff's department we're coming in declare yourselves in a very aggressive manner. Meaning if you don't declare yourself, we're going to fucking pump you. You know? And that's what happened. And then, of course, the film. The important thing was the film wasn't finished. I thought you were going to say, hey, this is our jurisdiction.

No, we're sheriffs. We're county. You know, county fucks taking this. We're city cops. Well, anyway, the important point was that, say this had been like an average day where I'm like dealing with you or anything or whatever. I just had gone, oh, hey, everyone.

I was burgled last night. You know, let's take a break. But you know what it's like a film shoot is fucking you can't just say we're stopping so I had to pretend this hadn't happened and go on to the next

which leads me to Airbnb where they have been thus far this isn't a legally defensible statement, meaning I don't want to say that they're okay or off the hook, but they immediately said, we'll pay for you to go to a hotel. So I turned up at 7 in the morning wearing what I had on for the film shoot, which was a National Nevada.

I forget about this part. I turned up at 7 in the morning at the palazzo in vegas wearing a nevada national guard outfit and carrying everything i owned in two white trash bags always through the casino they always make sure you have to walk that's right gaming to get to an elevator or a buffet so you're tempted yeah. Yeah. So you got people at tables. And yeah. And so. Thank you for your service. I got all the way through the fucking casino.

People are going, thank you. Cause it's seven o'clock in the morning. So it's filled with the worst. Yahoo's, you know, yeah, man.

Thank you. God's protecting you. And, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, thank you, God's protecting you. And then on the way to the elevator to go to the room they gave me, some guy trying to give me free beer. Like, oh man, have all our beer. And it was just, it made me realize how, like if you're a troop or whatever, it'd be like, really?

I'd rather no one thanked me at all if this is what it amounts to like just some yahoo free beer man so that he can feel good it's not about you feeling good it's so he can feel good and tell his no such thing as a selfless act that's the whole point of the ninth configuration. Yeah. Anyway, so that was interesting. But you just finally, instead of saying, oh, no, I'm in a movie. I'm not even American. Eventually, you get so tired of saying, I'm just making a film. You just go, thank you.

But you say it in an American accent. So show us how you say that. No, I'm not gonna do that fucking asshole i know i am yeah so that was that and then i literally we finished we wrapped and i flew to to san diego for the for the comparative civility of Winston's. Yeah, I wish I could riff on San Diego, but I got nothing. It was pretty...

I remember having notes. We have to call out, I mean, from the start and everything involved, the comedy store were fantastic. Comedy store's always been great. And Winston's. Yeah great. And Winston's. Yeah, exactly.

Winston's moved some people that play music so that your show could be accommodated, and that was decent of them. But the comedy store, they gave you the condo, and they understand comedy. They're decent people. Yeah, I was really hoping that by the time i got there if you read my book this is not fame which is available on amazon.com and other sources

if you haven't got it you're a fucking asshole yeah maria can't call yourself a fan bamford tweeted to me today and i didn't think that uh that that lady i didn't think liked me i think everyone doesn't like me unless they on a daily basis tell me sure me that they like me i really like you uh diana hone uh the part i left out uh of that book that i was gonna put in it but it was too distracting from the already distracted text was uh yeah she was uh molested like graphically toe fucked in a jacuzzi when she was 11 by a hollywood producer that is supposed to be he's supposed to be outed weeks ago i was hoping by the time i played san diego where i met her that it would be out and

we could celebrate that so what's the update i don't know i've been been fucking asia i'm in australia i don't know yeah our old friend nigel yeah we're slightly working on it we're slightly discombobulated at that point it was like he's just trying he's trying to get people to corroborate and you know how it works. Yeah. We should have got Adrian on it. Then we'd have a definite publication day of 2027.

God love Adrian LeBlanc. Yeah, whatever happened to her? Adrian Nicole LeBlanc. She keeps in touch. She calls every here and again. She's almost done with her book about comedy. The Rise and Fall.

It'll end when comedy ends. Does it reach up to... At the beginning, there was no laughter. That's the beginning of her book. That's very funny. Alright. This is just going to go out as a fucking special event. book. That's very funny. Alright, I think this is just going to go out as a fucking special event.

It's going to go out as buy tickets for Melbourne and Sydney and where else is there? Canada. By the time this goes out, it might be fucking Canada. The UK. We're trying to find a second venue for Vancouver. A second? Oh, that's right. That place might be going under.

Well, no. Yeah, that's bullshit. We'll see. That's bullshit. Don't worry. I'll just play at the fucking airport. Yeah. That's it. And yeah, it seems Hennigan, he's waffling on doing Scandinavia,

but I might push him into doing it anyway. He said the money's not there, but what am I going to go home and watch my wife get fat? What's that from? Wait. Go home and watch my wife. Christopher Walken.

Ah, see, you told me the answer. But the movie. Oh. He's... True Romance. No. Deer no dear hunter no you're not gonna get it i'm gonna give you more clues uh they're mercenaries they're oh the fucking oh dogs of war dogs of war you're right dogs of war my wife's pregnant are you in or you're not and he says I'm in what am I going to do sit around here and watch my wife get

fat something to that effect yeah I'm remembering this from 1984 83 probably there's another line in that movie that's more memorable that's the only thing I remember about that entire movie. Because my brother and I laughed just because he talked about his wife being fat.

And that was rude. And we laugh at rude. What's the other line? We'll close on it. It's the line. It's a bad one because it's kind of like the motif of the movie, I think, which is the guy who he thinks is his... It's like the guy who's basically playing the role of a dumb guide when he's...

Because he initially, I think, pretends to be an ornithologist who's visiting the country in order to do reconnaissance. Right? We should have closed when we had a chance. Okay. Chaley can cut it off.

That's it. Let's close on this. Go ahead. No, that's it. What was the line? You said there's another memorable line. So he's tricked into revealing who he is and why he's there. Almost by this apparently dumb guide who's

showing him around the country because he's pretending to be an ornithologist. And he doesn't know he speaks English. At one point he's exasperated with him and says, where I come from, you just be another dumb nigger. Jeez, why do you have to use all these words?

And then later on the chap turns the line on him because he reveals that he does speak English. Why do you have to use all these words? And then Lidstrom, the chap, turns the line on him. Because he reveals that he does speak English. It's a great line. Why can't... You know what? I was going to leave it on a positive note talking about fat chicks. Alright.

That's a bonus podcast for you. That's a Saturday morning podcast for you, probably. Well, I regret this in my political career. We got to close on bird clouds since they were just here and still going to Sydney and places nearby. Willamonga. Like, yeah. Yeah, Willamonga. Maybe Botany Bay.

They used to be called what? Stingray Harbor. Oh, yeah. But then he changed his mind. I know all these facts about Australia. I have notes. Port Jackson now called Sydney Harbor. I have notes.

Malignant landlords. Van Demon's Land. I got all sorts of notes. All right. See you in Australia or Canada or the UK or possibly Scandinavia. If you're lucky. Again, has a change of heart. Yeah.

Click. Did you hang up? No, I just said click. What movie is that from? E-mailers. I'm washing my big old pussy in a snorkel in Mississippi Hoping that General Jackson don't run me down Them young men on their jet skis, I sure hope that they see me Washing my big old pussy before I go to town

Them alligators in the Delta, I'm certain that they smell just... I'm washing your big old pussy before you go to town. Pollution from the factories and acid from car batteries. That's the smell of my big old pussy should you want to go down. want to go down I'm washing my big old pussy in the historical Mississippi hoping the General Jackson don't run me down

Them young men on their jet skis I sure hope that they see me Washing my big old pussy before I go to town I me washing my big old pussy before I go to town. I'm used to washing my big old pussy should you want to go down.