The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #282: Week 4 of SoberOctober Starts with a Cigarette and Here's Why.

Episode Date: October 24, 2018

Doug explains why things got so far off the rails last week and goes over the many lists created and ignored during a month of no smoking or drinking. Email your questions for the podcast to [e-mail] Oct. 23rd, 2018 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Miss Tracey (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced & Edited by Chaille. This episode is sponsored byThe Best of the Bonfire. Subscribe now to “The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder” on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Also, listen to the Bonfire every Monday through Thursday at 6pm EST/3pm PST on SiriusXM'sComedy Central Radio (CH 95).[BlueApron.com](www.BLUEAPRON.com/STANHOPE) - Blue Apron guarantees the freshness of all your ingredients and delivers them in an insulated box right to your door. Check out this week’s menu and get your first 3 meals free at [www.BLUEAPRON.com/STANHOPE](www.BLUEAPRON.com/STANHOPE). [Robinhood.com](Stanhope.Robinhood.com) – Robin hood is the investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFS, options and Cryptos - all commission free. Robinhood is giving our podcast listeners a FREE stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help build your portfolio just for signing up at [Stanhope.Robinhood.com](Stanhope.Robinhood.com). [MyBookie.ag](MyBookie.ag) - Log onto [MyBookie.ag](MyBookie.ag) right now and double your money. Use promo code STANHOPE and you’ll get your first deposit matched 100 percent. You must use promo code STANHOPE . You play, you win, you get paid. [PricelessPillow.com](PricelessPillow.com) – The most comfortable pillow you will ever sleep on. Log on to [www.PricelessPillows.com](www.PricelessPillows.com) and use the promo code STANHOPE for 30% off your purchase. [Twitch.tv](Twitch.tv) - Interact with Chad Shank while he tries to conquer video games. Go to Twitch.tv, search @HD_Fatty and subscribe. If you have an Amazon Prime account it's free. Instructions are pinned up top on Chad's Twitch page. We like what they are doing over at [FIRRP.org](FIRRP.org) - Check it out Support the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org](http://www.innocenceproject.org)3 Identical Strangers - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-OF0OaK3o0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-OF0OaK3o0)Closing Song, “Take The Music”, by Wisdom Of Trees. Written and Performed by Scotty Conant and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - h[ttps://soundcloud.com/scottyconant](ttps://soundcloud.com/scottyconant)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast check your mic doug check check yep there you go you're on i'm in i'm ready hey sober october how's your week four starting off mine's starting off with a cigarette that's how it's starting off i was gonna i was gonna continue to lie to you throughout sober october are you talking to me or the talking to the listeners okay because i didn't want anyone to use me as justification for oh well fuck it if listen, I knew I was going to have a problem area in the middle of the month. Because I'd already scheduled an out-of-town vacation is not quite the word. It was a recon for an upcoming podcast.

I've mentioned, we don't have a good nickname for him yet. We had him doing some pics. You're scouting locations for an audible experience. Yes. Basically. him doing some uh you're scouting locations for an audible experience yes basically we we have to go to him because he is in a a mental institution for the criminally insane he he is a i we we had him making some picks for for a sponsor for you know football bets and i go that's not the way to introduce this guy he's a really special kid that he killed

his mother, and he was found not guilty by reason of insanity, because he had a psychotic break, and he explained it to me in detail. He's a sweet kid, and I can't wait to do a podcast with him. I don't want to introduce him as goofy like we've been

doing. I want to have a real podcast. So we went out and visited with them and had a nice time but i know there's no way i'm getting on a fucking plane without a cocktail multiple planes multiple planes multiple cocktails being in a stressful situation and you've got social interactions these are all triggers fuck yeah go out and have a cigarette with them and not enjoy one myself? No, I couldn't do it. Quick question, Crazy. Can I have a drag?

He didn't feel bad. I've been calling him Crazy for lack of a creative nickname because I don't know him well enough. And he's such a beautiful example of the system working for mentally ill people. Like, he's doing really well. You'd never know that he had a history of fucked upness. Like Iceland well? Yeah, like Iceland well. Like Scandinavia well.

It was really inspiring. So, yeah, I did go off the rails a little bit i mean i wasn't partying with the dude i was just uh yeah i imbibed a little more than the uh my uh maintenance drinking now before you left you were gone for roughly three to five days i can't remember how long exactly but i did say from it's always a day of travel, just leaving or getting back here. The day you left, Tracy and I had an over-under bet. And I immediately contacted you and said, I won't tell you why, but keep track of how many drinks from airport, departing, to returning to said airport. Yes.

So Tucson and then back to Tucson. And we had an over-under. Now, you know roughly how many drinks. I asked afterwards because I forgot to count because it was negligible for what I usually imbibe. Well, Hawaii was 18. Yeah. Well, that was- I'm just saying there's a number.

So I took the number and I about doubled it and add a little and I are over under was 35. And it was it was well under well under. So it was it was well under. I believe Roka will be good. Or maybe we can try the pizza and video game place. Chaley is talking to Tracy who he made the bet with about what she owes. But yeah, I wasn't getting wrecked. I was just, I was not on the ball.

I was not sober October. It went beyond maintenance drinking, I don't want to have a seizure, into I'm bored in a hotel or an airport. Okay, last podcast, I think we spoke a little bit about you going and getting a prescription. Did you get Ativan or anything? No, it never happened. Never. It didn't pan out.

Yeah, I think we covered that. Yeah, I had just come back. So, yeah, that's what I'm doing now. I'm smoking for the podcast because if there's any loser to Sober October, it's you, the listener. Sober October, it's you, the listener. It's, yeah, it's at the expense of creativity, at the expense of me talking to people, which is fine. I have no problem not doing any of that shit until I went, oh, fuck, this podcast has to go out tomorrow. I'm just going to smoke.

Fuck it. I have a list. I have a couple of lists I brought since I had really no updates about, I mean, I can't talk about that kid yet. He's in a, I'm sorry. Before you move on. Oh,

we should talk about, we did. There's a great reason to be smoking right now. And that's the container. Yeah. We, we talked about it. We thanked Mike.

I forget. It's like San Diego or something. We didn't have it then. Santori. We got it since then. That thing is beautiful. No, we did talk about it. We just got it.

The box is right over there that you guys, you unwrapped it when you came home. We have a podcast. Oh, it was the, okay. It was the pictures of it. I hadn't got it yet. Yeah. Yes, it's a cigarette tree from the 60s or the 50s, probably. It's a gold cigarette tree.

I can't explain it to you. It's very cool. And so I had a full pack of cigarettes here when I quit again for the last eight days of Sober October, which then I noticed that that full pack of cigarettes was missing. But no, they stocked the cigarette tree with that missing pack of cigarettes. And now there's about eight left. So I'd occasionally look up at the security camera, see Kenny or Gump rifling through the cigarette tree that they filled up.

Checking it for freshness. Yes. And even though I wasn't smoking, I'd sit there getting pissed that they're smoking all my cigarettes that I don't smoke anymore. I was going to say, when I lifted it up, I was being a little gentle, but that thing is robust. And I realized there's two rows of cigarettes. It holds more than 20, which is weird. Pull it up more, Tracy. It's robust, and I realize there's two rows of cigarettes. It's like – It holds more than 20, which is weird because – Pull it up more, Tracy.

Maybe in the 50s they can't – Look at that. Isn't that beautiful? It is. The picture for the podcast will be you with that. We'll do that. All right. Yeah.

That thing is awesome. So I have two lists. You know what? Forget it. Give me a cigarette. I'm going to smoke. Pass one over here. I have a list of things I was going to do

during my sober October to help stimulate physical well-being or mental well-being. Drink a lot of water. I've drank almost none in the last five days. Smoothies. I've been really good about smoothies, vitamins,

B8 juice, a lot of liquid diet. That helps a lot because after you eat a meal is when you want a cigarette the most or coffee, which I rarely drink. Dog walk. Haven't walked them once. And today

I got an excuse because it's been raining since 6 a.m. It's been raining almost nonstop for 12 hours. I know you live in a shitty place. Listeners sitting there, what are you bitching about? It's 38 degrees here. Well, I don't live there. I didn't move here for fucking rain. Now my nest in there, my fat fucking bed, stinks of fucking

salami perspiration. When I get the night sweats, oh my God, it's a pepperoni smell. It's like a greasy. Like that stuff under the soap that sat in a dish that doesn't drain water. Except that smells like soap. It feels like that.

Except that smells like soap. And wet dog. Now that I got wet dogs, the dogs finally talk to me. Now that they're wet, they jump in my bed on my eight comforters. I keep buying comforters like an insane person at the thrift store. I always thought Ichabod would make a good coat, you know, like a big fur line around the lapels. But every time I smell him when he's wet, I'm like, I'm not walking into a restaurant and coat checking that.

That would suck. Here comes Stinky. Yeah, those are some stanky dogs. They should be dead soon, you'd think. Like 12? Henry, I thought, was when we first started the construction over on the other side, she was really

always tail between the legs and very like sheepish the whole time. I'm like, this is not like Henry. And then Trace and I just started walking the dogs recently. She's fucking fine. She's just sulking around here because she doesn't get out as much as she thinks she needs to get out. Oh, shit. I mean, Gump will come back from walking them and they'll run right up to me. Yeah.

Like I'm going to walk them again immediately. Fuck you. I got two so you could play with each other and you don't, assholes. You hate each other, in fact. They don't even want to be in the same room with each other or me unless they're wet. Here's something I never did. Go and listen to old sets. Because when you think about it, i've been working on this set

that i still have to figure out how to tape where to tape when to tape so i thought i should go back and listen to like when we first started out doing doug stanhope and friends where i was just you know hosting just to try to put new shit together i I'd still do an hour, but it would be broken up, and then I'd bring out Morgan or Andy or Erickson, and then come back and do 50. So going back to those days, there's one set that I have, and I try to listen to it, and I go, oh, no, I need a drink. Shut it down. Shut it down.

Actually, the LA shows, isn't that basically what's going to be on the new? It was California. That was two years ago i don't know the comedy store recently oh recently yeah it'll be that set but i want to see the stuff that like you know shit canned yeah yeah yeah in the beginning where i just i needed anything to say yeah and there's some fucking bad stuff on there or Or just dated. Yeah, there was that. Or bingo stuff. Bingo's coma.

Alright, no one gives a fuck. That could be a single. It was fun for the podcast while it was in the moment, but to rehash it just felt like I'm doing old podcasts. Well, you were doing it on tour, so you didn't have to, well, you thought you wouldn't have to answer the questions at the merch booth.

Yeah, which worked for a minute. Yeah, the New York minute. And then all of a sudden, there was another reason to talk to you or they had to at least have one intro and that's how the bingo – no matter how much time you spent on stage talking about it. Yeah. Read. I've tried to read when I was in Hawaii with Bingo and her parents. I get a lot of reading done, but I can't read around the house.

So I get a giant stack of books. I might do a sojourn. Is that a word? Yeah, a walkabout. Yeah, I get a bag packed. A ditch bag? A ditch bag. Yep. I get that packed ready to go with books uh right haven't

written anything i did have i uh god damn i watched uh i was gonna give these to you because they came from red box those fucking thieves if you have a red box the video oh the outside the dollar general machine yeah yeah just go ahead and get a Post-it note and put out of order on it and stick it on any one of those and just save someone from getting fucked. What, am I going to sit on hold with you for a long time over $1.75 for a fucking documentary that didn't work? No. But I was looking forward to it, too. Callahan. John Callahan, the cartoonist.

Portland. He's differently abled yeah yeah and he had a one of the the best you know single frame cartoonist just really dark shit and that's the title of the movie uh based on him it's a biopic with Joaquin Phoenix. If you can stomach that guy for long. In the most ridiculous red-headed wig. Why don't you just get a guy that actually looks like the guy? You can't say Joaquin Phoenix is the only guy that can do this abysmal portrayal. There is acting ability, I think, in some of this. Yeah, but as good as Joaquin Phoenix, you can find a guy with red hair, right?

Put some old guy in a wig and make him try to look younger, and he doesn't. He just looks like he has some ridiculous wig on. But what's worse than that was Jonah Hill, who I have never not liked in a movie i really like jonah hill but this movie was such an aa commercial and jonah hill if you can imagine jonah hill with joe b's beautiful golden long surfer locks playing the most egregiously offensive AA guy that believes it

and he said like if you didn't know AA was bullshit and you watch this movie you'd go I guess that's what you have to do to get sober and you go no according to a tool like that and at one point about two thirds of the way through the movie they show him dancing around in a small

1980s gym shorts. And I paused it and I tweeted, if Jonah Hill does not buckle under the weight of AIDS by the end of this movie, I will never trust a filmmaker with my heart again. Cause I hated him so fucking much in this movie. Like one of the worst evil characters that other people wouldn't perceive as evil and he better die of aids and fuck if he didn't die of aids and i was so happy

and i wrote a i wrote a bit i didn't even know how to write it out but i could see doing it like if i wrote it in a notebook it would just look gibberish. But I did get a good bit out of that. So that's the only thing I've put in a notebook, I think, in a month. Crawlspace, that's on the list. Thanks to Gump. That got done. Actually, while you were gone, we had to move everything out of the crawlspace. Back into it.

Because we did. We had to move it back into the main area because they're going through the wall for the addition to put the pipes and everything for the air conditioning. Oh, shit. I'm not kidding. I thought you were fucking kidding. I had Gump move everything where he had stacked it and moved it back to where it was to begin with.

As long as you keep the boy working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no problem there. I still got to fucking... This bank shit is making me crazy i was yelling at them today the bank the old bank yeah when it's going away at the end of the year they had to redo their whole online thing and yeah well it seems a couple hundred of the accounts did not get transferred and they're working on that. I got to pay my fucking bills in the meantime, lady.

Ours hasn't been updating with our integration with the website since April, I found out. Fuck. So nothing's been updating. So when I contacted ShipStation, which is a great product, we use that. They've advertised with us before. ship station, which is a great product. We use that. They've advertised with us before. They said,

just tell me your bank account and you need to see what your account level is whether it's a business account or whatever. Immediately they came back and said, that bank, they changed something back in the beginning of the year so it won't work anymore. We have four banks

in town. Just keep changing them. Just keep marching out angry like me. I'm moving my money to another bank. Tracy doesn't want to do that. How many are left? Tracy likes the ladies there. What? My old bank?

Yeah. I fucking love the ladies there, but I can still stop in and say hi. I still get like 300 bucks in my personal savings over there. Gives me a reason. Hey, can I check on that? And there's cookies. Yep.

A lot of times we bring them. Here's how shitty a friend I am. This is the list I made when I was just about to start Sober October. Of these little things I want to get done, like the crawl space, de-hoard, I did a lot of that. Banging stuff. Call old old friends that's on my list to call people and say hello wait do you have three months to live that's the only time

i ever really talked i fucking hate talking on the phone and there's always a distraction there's always a movie on or twitter's in front of me or something. So I make up a reason to not answer or not talk or I got to go. My hair's on fire. So I have not called anyone just to say hi that I know of. I did call Morgan Murphy to say happy birthday today, and I was the last one. But that's, yeah, like on the road road sad night in a hotel and there's nothing on tv yeah i could chat for a bit but i assume no one else wants to chat either that's when david tell calls you yes i've gotten a lot of private number calls lately which is usually means that it's a tell, but I'm not taking a chance.

Too rough around the edges to get tricked. God, I got stuck on the phone with somebody where I go, oh, fuck, why did I pick this up? That's how I started yelling at the bank, because I've been trying to get the bank on the phone. I actually went down to the branch. They couldn't even fix it but now i remember because i'd get 800 numbers which now is almost exclusively all your your spam and your bots are fucking politicians for the election calls and i think i mentioned it on the last podcast but arizona i am

voting for kristin or kirsten cinema i'm promoting her religiously once i get back on twitter i'll tweet about her because the lengths they're going to destroy her in these commercials there i wish i had a montage of anti-kristin cinema commercials where she's she's pro-violence against cops what no she she she likes to fuck kids and facilitates fucking kids she holds your kid down while your kid's getting fucked and she's gonna bring a nuclear apocalypse on the uh quad cities of phoenix mesas scottsdale and tempe she grew up in a like poor in living in a gas station for a while and was a social worker i mean that's that was an interview with her that wasn't someone trying to to make her look bad or good that was basically an interview

to her telling someone how where she grew up and like her her home life and things like that when she was a kid and i have no i don't see like rebuttal yeah Like there's no like, fuck Martha McSally rebuttal commercials. Yeah. Martha McSally, she lubes the kids. There's nothing. It's just. I'm sure there is. Yeah.

There's definitely fear amongst the Martha McSally camp. And I think it comes down to cinema's hotter. Podcast. I wrote that down. Like, I don't have to do that anyway. Netflix. I wanted to binge on some Netflix comedy because comedy is something that you're just terrified to watch, especially if you're drinking at all. I just haven't seen Rogan's.

I think Rogan's had two or three new ones out since I last watched a comedy special. Some of them I... Burt's just came out? Yeah, I haven't seen Burt's. Heard good things. Yeah, that's great. I haven't even seen if Netflix works in a nest because if it doesn't

then I start smashing things. Big Jay Oakerson has one that's out? Yeah, there's a lot. I haven't gotten to that. Crunch notebooks. I had like four different notebooks I was working in. What does that mean? Like take shit out of, like, all right, I never developed that into a bit.

Put this into a new notebook so when I do go back on the road. Consolidate. Like bring them all, pull it all. Exactly. Circle the wagons. Right. Yes. Solidate.

Like bring them all, pull it all in. Circle the wagons. Right. Yes. Take all the notes that could add up to something in case I ever have to go back on the road. Look at this note. No football. Like don't watch football.

I don't even remember writing that. That was things I could do to help facilitate my sober october and a lot of them worked and a lot of them i didn't get to uh it's just that whole creative thing but what's the payoff like i've never i for this entire time i've never been morbidly depressed like I get on the road. I haven't woken up stomping around quitting comedy again. I'm not doing comedy. I'm not doing anything. And I'm good with that. You called me when you got back from going to the East Coast to tell me you weren't coming back to Bisbee right away.

You were just going to trip around. I was fired up. And you said, I don't have anything to do. There's nothing on my plate. There's no place to be. I have a credit card.

I have a one-way voucher for the train. Amtrak. Yeah. And I have miles. I go, I'll see you when I see you. Yeah, that lasted, I think, a day and a half.

And then I was paralyzed with fear in a hotel. Didn't know which way to go. Had no one to consult. And just stayed in that hotel. And that's when I began drinking too much. And then I said, I better get back to the nest. Get back in the living room. It's the only safe place.

Yeah. You made it three days. I mean, you didn't come back till Sunday. It was three days. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It's three days. Two days total. Yeah, two days.

Three calendar days. All right. That's good. Let's do some commercials. And then I'll go to the list of things I want to do creatively. This is an even older list because one of the things it does say 30 days, October? Question marks. So I'm still vacillating on Sober October when I made this list after I got done with all my road dates.

So, yeah. All right. Please hold mocktail and we'll be back after these messages. The Bonfire with Big J Oakerson and Dan Soder. This is one of those times that Hennigan would shit a brick. Hey,

I would, this doesn't have to be ad I would absolutely just tell you this for free. You're not paying for this spot. You're paying me to remember because the podcast is fantastic. One of my favorite podcasts, The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder. They had their Comedy Central radio on Sirius XM, that show, for over three years. And now they have their Comedy central podcast where they're just

giving you uh their favorites the best of favorite clips which again i always i i read this and i go why are we not stealing this idea this fucking idea works perfectly for all of my uh i'm new to the podcast uh where should i go to catch up what are the yeah well we should do this we should steal i'm too fucking lazy to steal big jay okerson and dan showed her and of course the entire cast of characters white lou black lou sweet sweet christine she needs another sweet in there and air wolf jacob batat am i saying that wrong I've never even heard his last name on the air, but I hear Airwolf and Wolfshark and whatever they tease him about. Yeah, I think they're touring, too, with a bunch of people. Like a comedy show?

I saw it somewhere on one of those terror bangs or something. Check out Big Jay and Dan as they give their insight into the life of two stand-up comics on the road with major dad issues. And somehow it slips my mind that Big Jay Oakerson is a dad. Because I forget, she's older. She's not a fucking baby. Yeah. So usually you have to suffer through the baby years of a comic having a new baby where their act turns to shit.

He got past that by the time I got into his comedy, I guess. Because he's fucking hilarious. So is Dan Soder. turns to shit. He got past that by the time I got into his comedy, I guess, because he's fucking hilarious. So is Dan Soder. Check out some of the latest best of episodes, including Nick Foles, Michael Shea, Bert Kreischer, Everlast, Dave Attell, always funny,

Gene Simmons, Dice Clay. Hey, if we were doing this podcast in a city, we could get guests like this, but probably not. Probably not. They pass through this area, but just not anywhere near us. They fly over. Yeah.

Yeah. If they're on their way to Mexico with warrants, we could probably get that guy that ran for Libertarian. Who's that crazy guy that likes to watch girls shit on? They shit on him. The guy. Come on. You know, the guy that he the anti-virus guy

oh McAfee yeah McAfee he was living down in fucking Belize and having fucking 16 year old girl shit on his face allegedly

but he took care of him no it's in the documentary oh okay it's pretty it's boy he really let everything go so did they

film everything alright subscribe now to The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and dan soda on apple podcasts or your favorite podcast app and you can always listen to the bonfire every monday through thursday night on sirius xm's comedy central radio channel 95 you're sitting there at the end of sober october you're sketchy you feel bugs underneath your skin you're just waiting for november 1st just to get this whole thing over with and then there's a knock at the door you reach for your smith and wesson who's knocking at my fucking door before you start pulling some stand youryour-ground shit, remember,

it's probably Blue Apron. Easy to prepare, fulfilling. What do you eat this week, Chaley? This week is pasta and Italian salsa verde. I like these. These are real quick 20-minute meals, right?

And those are the ones I like. The pasta with some fresh vegetables and that's it. A little, maybe, a little Parmesan cheese. We do the vegetarian one, but they've got adobo-style chicken this week with sauteed bok choy and jasmine rice. Always the starch with this.

It's perfect. Everything's right there, step-by-step, color, picture, instructions. I wish they would do liquid shakes. Yeah, I've been eating just smoothies to try to not want to smoke all the time and a little bit of vegetarian too egg whites and

some vegetables oh okay but uh yeah eggs aren't vegetables but that's a detail you'll find it's vegetarian that's alright

it's not vegan it's not vegan you're right here's what I'm looking forward to smoky brussel sprouts and black bean tacos with roasted sweet potatoes

I like everything about that and the added feature is when you get your recipe, it actually has online when you're picking them, because you pick what you want in advance, they pair a wine with it. Now, I know it's still October, but with this smoky Brussels sprouts.

Wine doesn't count. A glass of wine with dinner? Not with Blue Apron. Not with Blue Apron? Right there. It's all on the... I know. A glass of wine with dinner.

They tell you that. The French tell with dinner. They tell you that. The French tell you that. They tell you with the smoky Brussels sprouts, the black bean tacos, a Riesling. Because with spicy, you should go a little more sweet. And they even tell you which one to get. And then there's also a meal plan that has wine. It used to just be Brussels sprouts, but then there was a fire at the warehouse. No, it's smoky Brussels.

Smoky Brussels sprouts. Yeah, I guess if you're smoking smoky Brussels sprouts and wine. With black bean tacos. Yeah, it goes against my rules of sober October with the smoke and the wine. The best part is you let Blue Apron do the meal prep for you. Skip the meal planning and get straight to cooking. That's the best part for me. I get the box. That's the best part for me.

I get the box. I open the box, break the three meals down into bags so I don't have to go rooting around. I get rid of that box immediately because I got to put it in the fridge. Man, it is so quick. You get it done. Get it out of the way.

You don't have to sit at the store. You don't have to do any of the planning. You don't have to think. No, exactly. You're not friendly. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free You don't have to do any of the planning for the week. You don't have to think. No, exactly. Drunk-friendly. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at blueapron.com slash Stanhope. That's blueapron.com slash Stanhope to get your first three meals free. Blue Apron, a better way to cook.

Robin Hood. Probably wouldn't think you'd hear this being promoted on the Doug Stanhope podcast. Robinhood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos of cryptocurrency, I assume that means. Yeah. Cryptocurrencies, all commission free. I've done a bit about this that's still in play when I ever go back out in the road. I have stocks and I have the funniest stockbroker in the world. He's just like this ridiculous Wolf of Wall Street guy. When he calls, I put him on speakerphone in the van when we're on the road. We're going to do this. We're going to do that. I go, are you pumping your fist like the

Wolf of Wall Street guy on top of a desk right now? You don't have to do that anymore go are you pumping your fist like the wolf of wall street guy on top of a desk right now you don't have to do that anymore i find it amusing you might find it interrupting to your day robin hood fucking the stock market i know nothing about i've sat and taken notes from my stockbroker just to try to get some of the the vernacular the nomenclature down of what he's saying and i don't know what any of it means. You might want to put some more time into your future, your retirement, your nest egg, while I'm just building a nest and a queen-sized bed with blankets. Robinhood strives to make financial services work for everyone, not just the wealthy. Hence, you, the listener.

Get the Robinhood app and then start playing the stock market. Impress the ladies. What they're trying to do is they're trying to introduce being able to buy stocks at your own pace. There's no pressure. It's an information site. Here, look. Write it up right here, Doug. Look at it.

It's totally simple. You can have just a list of the stocks that you're watching on the side. They do cryptocurrencies too. So you can check out all this stuff. They don't charge anything for the trades. So you just buy what you want and just get your feet wet. Figure it out. And that's exactly what I did because we've had other companies that have come to us for this and I've said no way.

But this, I liked it. It was simple. We got to talk. We got to us for this and have said no way. But this, I liked it. It was simple. We got to talk. We got to talk moves. We got to talk options. But see, you can go back and you can see what it's done in the day. You can pick the view of what you're looking at. And next time we're on a plane together in first class, we can talk shit like assholes about stock movements we've made.

Top movers. Yeah. I dump it. Top movers. Yeah. I dump it. I dump it. As soon as I land, we're dumping it. We'll both be on those. Remember those old Motorola phones I bought? The big brick.

Cell phones. The brick. No, they were kind of like the first flip phones from, I think they were from 87 or something. We looked them up, but we could sit on those in side-by-side seats in first class, you yelling buy and me yelling sell. All right.

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Sign up at stanhope.robinhood.com. That's stanhope.robinhood.com. That's stanhope.robinhood.com. My bookie. Sure, football's fun to watch, but without money on it, not so much. Go to mybookie.ag. You've heard me talking about this for weeks because the football season has gone on for weeks and i especially after last week i'm fucking crushing it uh had denver over uh arizona was that the game i think i'm am i four and two or five and two on my pick of the week which means I'm in the money.

I'm also betting last week I fucking crushed it. I hit almost every bet. And it's not just football, by the way. Before I forget, this week I'm going out on a limb, and on Monday night I'm taking the Saints over the Vikings. Saints are getting a point. They won't need it. They're going to put up a ton of points.

Vikings are going to collapse. But, again, it's not just football. World Series is going on. You can bet on anything. If you spend enough time on mybookie.ag, there's something you can bet on. You can bet on how long this podcast lasts. All right, that's not true. Maybe not.

Maybe not that. So yeah, bet. Talk shit on Twitter. And don't talk shit on Twitter if you didn't actually put money on the game. Primetime fights, how many people won money just hating Conor McGregor in that last fucking thing? I'm just betting against him, just the same way you bet the mega millions to try to win $1.6 billion.

Yeah, you could have put 10 bucks on conor mcgregor gets his ass kicked and then you'd be so happy that 10 would be more to you than 1.6 billion dollars isn't that a win-win yeah that's a win-win 1.6 billion dollars is just gonna drag you down you can't do sober october with all those fucking mooches pounding on your door. Go to mybookie.ag. Bet reasonable. Win reasonable, but win proud. You know, I put more money in for Kenny because he's been losing.

So I put more money in his account. And I got to have him do one of those, the three-team parlay. I know, that's the problem. I want him to do that because he sweats so bad. He's he's so nervous oh he walks around just itching like a tweaker like i don't fuck i can't watch this but i can keep track because i just log into the account and i can see what he did that's my problem because i

bet we do this like tuesday night we've been doing the podcast for the next day so it's timely but i don't usually put my bets until saturday and that's when I do all my crazy bets. I should do those earlier in the week. But then you don't know all the shit like over-unders where you just, hey, check the weather. They're getting fucking sleet and mud in fucking Pittsburgh. Take the under. They're not scoring 40 points in that kind of weather. It's fun, especially when you're old and retired.

You just sit there staring at all the stats like an old fuck at the horse track, get my pork pie hat on, chew on a cigar, step in fucking old gum, have my illegitimate children pick up fucking tickets off the ground and turn them in to see if there's any accidental winners that someone threw away oh they would do that shit at hollywood park it was fantastic to watch all right you don't have to do that at my bookie.ag just log in what do they get what do they get where is it oh here it is yeah you're on the sidelines now's the time to get in the game my bookie.ag will still match your first deposit dollar for dollar but you got to join now because they'll be pulling that offer log on to my bookie right now and double your money use promo code

stanhope and you'll get your first deposit matched 100 that's promo code stanhope. Mybookie.ag. You play, you win, you get paid. First but not least, what I always forget to plug is merch at DougStanhope.com. Was it the store? Slash store. Slash store. We still have lots of shit. What do we got, Tracy? Hi, guys.

We've got, now? Hi, guys. Now we've got some of our bigger shirts back again in the Doug Stanhope podcast. And the Death of a Salesman t-shirts. And the Pop-Off Presents Doug Stanhope. Fat boys. We got an email that I did not read. But it was some guy that has some painful fucking brain cancer. And he's begging for anything. and all my money goes to my treatments

to anything you could send me uh and he says t-shirts xxl or xxxl yeah wow that cancer is really not uh fighting the fat like it does on some people and he didn't even send me an address so yeah we have fat boy sizes we do and we also still have some of the VHS tapes that are the Pop-Up Vodka Presents Doug Stanhope in the Fun House. Yes. I never really pushed that as much as I should, but that was the last pseudo special I put out of material that never got recorded elsewhere. And the only hard copy we have, no DVDs, no cassettes. We have VHS tapes.

We only made 500. We still have some of those left. So get it. It's a collector's item. And that way, when you see a VHS player in your local thrift store, you have a reason to buy it. Each one is signed and numbered also. We have the Chad Shank t-shirts. We have two styles.

We have the diplomat shirt and we've got the Shank shirt, which makes him look like he's drawn on the Shroud of Turin or has a beard of bees. It's beautiful. I love that shirt. Yeah, it's a great shirt. And then we've also got

a new style of Killer Termites shirt. I don't know if everybody knows that with the artwork by Jim Ether. So go to DougStanhope.com slash store and check them out. Anytime I see you on the road anywhere wearing any of our apparel you get a hug against your will what was i saying to you that night without something and without consent oh god yeah oh

i kept repeating that mantra without condoms without a rubber without consent without a condom without consent come on tracy without a condom, without consent. Come on, Tracy. Without a condom, without consent. Here we go. So please, yeah, just go to the store. It really helps us keep motivated to keep doing this. Tracy loves shipping. I do. All right. I just want to say, because this will come into play. It's not none of the ads I just I do. Like we never sold the other thing at all. And it's going to be like, you know, 1984 where, no, we've always been at war with Oceania. No, we've always been at war with Eurasia or something. Yeah, that's going to happen one day. So, yeah, it's just how it goes in this racket.

That's the business. That's the business. Yeah. I don't want someone to point it out before I point it out, but it doesn't come into play this week. So, as I said, let's get back to that podcast. Just shut your fucking mouth. And a quick thank you, as always. I'm sure there's at least five that I'm forgetting, and I don't know what I did with.

But one thank you to Lara from somewhere. And she's a big fan. And I saw you're participating in Sober October. So I bought you this book to support your efforts. It's a, it's called Mocktails, The Complete Bartender's Guide to Mocktails. And I appreciate it. And I've been doing a million different mocktails and this is getting passed around. So thank you for that

she says I'm a middle school teacher which requires heavy drinking to keep my sanity so I cannot participate but she is thank you for your support and Chad Shank is not we haven't disappeared him and he's not in prison Chad will be back he

just knows that I'm no one to be around this month. So he's intentionally fucking off and I appreciate that too. So there's two thank yous. Everyone who's fucked off and the lady with the mocktails. Alright, shall we get back to this

podcast? One more thing. The YouTube channel, Stanhope TV. I'm working on getting Tracy trained up to convert those so that we can put the podcast on YouTube. Back on YouTube. Because we've got all of them. Easily the worst. He actually got those all put up.

He went all the way back to the first one and encoded those. So now we're going to get the last four. And then he killed himself. And someone did email saying, hey, I can take that over, but you're already on top of it. Thank you for reaching out. I don't shit on everybody that emails me. Everybody. All right, let's get back.

Where's my list? Okay. Oh, by the way, everyone who did chime in with the... A lot of people did chime in after I went to the doctor on the last podcast. I said, go ahead. Tell me how you quit drinking. If you quit drinking and you're doing the same thing I'm doing,

please go ahead. Tell me. And I won't bitch about it, but most people ignored exactly what I said, did exactly what I said to not do. Don't send me shit that you found on Google that I could find on Google. Oh, I found this on Google. You were saying how you want.

No, I didn't. I said the opposite of that. I heard someone quit drinking once and did this. Here's a link. UK Times, The Guardian. There was one guy, though. There was a couple good ones. The uncle, which was like, I think he ate mushrooms or something.

Oh, yeah. There was some that just didn't apply to me. Where, again, I'm not quitting drinking. It's just in this brief area. Which, at this point, I'm planning on doing the last week just not drinking. Fuck it. I mean, it's three weeks now of, for me, minimal drinking if I have a seizure at this point. As someone who's not a doctor, I'd say that's fine.

Yeah. I think it's fine. My unprofessional opinion. Yeah. The smell of those night sweats. Yeah, the smell of those night sweats. But I was also wearing a layer of Long Johns. Underwear, Long Johns, T-shirt over the Long Johns, hoodie over the Long Johns and the T-shirt.

And under eight comforters. So that could have contributed to the sweating a little bit. Sure. With a wet dog and a wet cat on top of you. God. It's just people who have really good olfactory senses. I just imagine anyone who comes over here is somewhat dulled in the senses anyway. It's just the type of clientele we attract. But someone who has a maid, you know, those people with spotless homes.

There's no crud in the corners. I've heard of them. Yeah, sometimes I'll go to a house like that and go, what the fuck would they think if they were at my house? It would probably smell poorly, really poorly to you. I'm used to it. They bring their own clothespin. Oh, God. I saw a hoarder today.

What? I just saw a hoarder, but it's someone local. I don't want to. But I was happy to see they turned into a hoarder because they used to be an asshole as a business person. Anyway. I'll tell you later. It's not that great a story. I was just like, I had some kind of, uh, what do you call it?

The, the schadenfreude. Oh, nah, you live in your car now. Yeah. Oh, next time you fucking yell at us for taking too long with our dinner.

Cause this is, uh, this table is, it's an old restaurant. No, I'm soaking in the clues. This is a good one. It's like a,

so he's going to hurry up. I have that table rented out for seven. I go, our dinners took an hour and 45 minutes from the time we ordered them. No, that business is no longer around. And that person lives in a car that was up like this. It wasn't quite a pacer, but it was a lot of windows in the car. So you could see where every seat was full up to the window level. Unfortunately, I've seen a couple cars like that at Safeway.

Well, one of them's hers. Yep. And tomorrow, she'll probably have $1.6 billion from the Mega Billions, and I'll be sitting here with my sneaker in my mouth. The taping I mentioned, that's one of the things. No, what's this thing? You're on your second list. Yeah, this is my list of when I got done with the road

before I even committed to Sober October of things I want to do creatively that's not the road necessarily. So, yeah, there's none of these that are checked off there is no crawl space checked off in this the taping i gotta tape this set that i have at some point and there's we've talked about hennigan's gonna be here in a few days who we haven't seen Hennegan in months. He took my retirement even more seriously than I did. He just disappeared off the face of the earth. I thought it would be the other way around.

He'd be like, oh, don't you think we should dust the cobwebs out in October? I don't do a good Hennegan, but you know what I mean? The worse you do Hennegan, the funnier it is. But yeah, well, he's busy, and I'm sure we'll catch up on when he gets back here. Yeah, I won't have to smoke through that podcast because I'll leave it all on him. He can do the heavy lifting. Where the fuck have you been? How dare you take me seriously when I say I'm retiring?

Well, we have other people showing up, too, for Halloween this weekend. You do. Well, yeah. Yeah, I'm I'm retiring. We have other people showing up too for Halloween this weekend. You do. Well, yeah. I'm still on lockdown. There'll be other people, guests. We got John Norris coming from Alaska. Some people from LA. Yeah, I heard

we have Thanksgiving people coming too. Alright, we'll figure that out. That's November though, so this is this weekend. people coming to? Yeah. All right. We'll figure that out. But that won't be, that's November though. So this is, this is this weekend. All right. So these are,

these are when I last talked to Hennigan months ago, it seems, or about anything that mattered. What places we didn't play in this buildup to actually putting this, we could always tape here again. We can always tape in Bisbee. I'm kind of frowning on that. Two in a row from Bisbee.

I think it's confusing. Hennigan's all for it. It's very easy to do. And having people come to you is easy, which brings us to Vegas, which people always love to go to Vegas. And they'll come to me. I always love to go to Vegas, and they'll come to me. But, you know, that's my Achilles heel is I'm worried that, well, it'll be people that already saw this set that come see me. But it's still, I mean, there's a lot of options in Vegas. And to do warm-up, Anchorage, Hawaii.

Like, if I had to go, if I needed miles, it would be Anchorage, Hawaii, just to get the set back down. Or 18 drinks. Minneapolis, somehow we haven't played there in fucking like six years. That's the one. That's the one.

I was trying to remember, there was a few that you were back pocketing for when you wanted to kind of keep it fresh. Minneapolis was the one because we've missed it on two tours where we've kind of crisscrossed and haven't hit it

and it was because you were waiting because you were thinking. Well, we never had a, the venue that we liked went all fucking hinky and then we never found

another venue that we really liked that held enough people that wasn't, you know, obscenely expensive or shitty deal. So I'm guessing the spot to do the new taping hasn't been picked yet for the next-

No, I'm leaning towards Vegas. That's why I opened. The same people that sent me a lot of shit about how to get off of alcohol at a van, all the bad advice, I'm going to get slews of email from this. Why don't you come back to Michigan? I was just there. That's why. Well, Detroit.

Yeah, these are places I haven't played in a couple years. Phoenix is in the mix, at least to play there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and this weekend, let's just put this out there. All Things Comedy Fest is happening in... What was that area called? I don't remember the name.

It's where... It's where... Tracy, what is it? What's the club? Well, it's Stand Up Live. Stand Up Live. What's the name of that little district? Isn't there a name for it?

It's downtown. Yeah. But they've got plenty of... Yeah. Just Google search. Big J.O. Christian is actually going to be doing a set there. Oh, yeah. They've got podcasts running the whole time.

That's All Things Comedy Fest out there in Phoenix this weekend. Yeah, we didn't get invited back. I'm busy. Oh, so am I. I couldn't go anyway, and you're sober. I know, but they didn't ask. They didn't ask. It's like when I did the fucking Louis C.K. show and everyone said, hey, that was really great.

And not a single other offer came in because of it. All right. Well, one of the admin people asked, well, they assumed we'd be there to just hang out and, I don't know, for you to crash into things again. But I said, no, we're busy here because of Halloween and Doug's sober. So it's probably a good idea that the invitation got lost. I guess, I said, no, we're busy here because of Halloween and Doug's sober. So it's probably a good idea that the invitation got lost. I guess. I don't know.

But it is a fun time. We had a great time last year. Bill Burr's doing a set again. I think, well, there's a, just go check it out. Yeah,

Big J, I said that. But there's a ton of comics, tons of podcasts, and there's even more than they had last year. Yeah, a lot of these ideas I don't even want to bring up.

We still haven't talked about filming here in the Funhouse with other comics, but eventually we'll get around to that. Well, John Norris from the Near the Wild podcast, that's his business. That's what he does.

And I told him if he comes out here for the Halloween thing, we can do a little consulting thing here and figure out how we can set up a two-camera shoot and get the ball rolling on that. Because I think that's a great idea. This is how old this list is. James Inman. We have to do the... Fulfill the obligation of Chad Shank reading that. We did that. All have to do the fulfill the obligation of

Chad Shank reading that. We did that. Alright, there's one thing. Okay, cross that one off. Checked off. I'm not a complete loser. I don't just put gum in the slot at Redbox when I'm pissed off at my videos.

The one that didn't work was it's a documentary. It's called Three Identical Strangers. Yeah. It's about these two twin brothers that didn't know they were twin brothers. They've adopted, I assume. And then they find each other and they're mirror images of each other. And it gets some national press.

And then a third brother sees the national press going, they look exactly like me. And yeah, it turns out they were triplets, I guess. I don't know because Redbox had a disc that didn't work. What's it called? Three Identical Strangers, which made me think of you, who's, as we all know, you're adopted,

comes up every time you cry or vice versa. And I've never met my dad. My birth mom, when she found out she was pregnant, she talked to him once. And he basically parroted what his mother said. How do you know it's yours? And my mom said, oh, guess you don't. And she never, that was her first time ever. And that was it. Never spoke to him again.

Never nothing. Have no idea. Are you going to do like a 23andMe or are we just going to wait until we get sponsorship from one of them and you have to? I don't want to be in the database, that whole thing. Yeah, that's the creepy part. Not that I've committed some heinous crime that you guys don't know about,

and I wear sweaters to fool everyone, but it's... Well, can't you do it anonymously? I don't know. No? Gump's saying no. How does he know? Was he a doctor? He answers.

He's got a strong opinion on everything he has no idea about. Yeah, I want to... I would think it would be fun for us to do just if we found any kind of... Anomaly? Anything that

would be racially insensitive, where I could call you a fucking stupid Polack, or just anything like that that we could use against each other. That could be fun. Yeah. Or anything that I could use to justify some of the racist signs around the funhouse. No, I can hang that here, and you hold your document from 23andMe. I almost said 23 Skidoo.

There's that screenplay that I never came up with the idea for, and I'm not even going to put it out. I'm not putting it out there. It's just such a beautiful venue for a movie. I think about that all the time. Yeah. I just saw there's a movie. Oh, there's a really good movie um a

documentary and i won't even say the subject but it's something along those lines it's two hours long it's on pbs it's fucking great all right and it has a little bit of that and the whole the whole how the genesis of it where it came from and how it crashed well i get a couple of books that are in a similar ballpark of old con men. Like two different books about con men that kind of similar ballpark. It might be some crossover, but I got to be able to read, which means go on more vacations. Brian and I have a book idea. I don't know if that's going to come up. We're going to write together and I talk to you about you doing a little color in that book.

That's a possibility. With crayons? No, from your journals. Yeah. Chaley kept really accurate journals for most of the last 10 years. Not the last big tour. I tried, but I don't know. I think I was driving more.

Well, it wasn't like Dear Diary. No. I feel lost and alone on the road. If I eat Carl's Jr. one more time, I'm going to have to wear an adult diaper. I got a stamp for that. I just put that at the start. If I eat Carl's Jr. one more time, I'm going to have to wear an adult diaper. I got a stamp for that. I just put that at the start. Tunk, tunk. I just filled in the date.

Every venue that had fucked up sound or fucked up stage or no stage at all and the problems were just taking chunks would work with this book idea. Problem is, I don't think we have an offer. Let's get an offer first. I ain't writing another fucking book without a deadline and a check that's cashed.

Not that strong. And that's what happened last time after fucking 30 days in the hole. I made it six weeks doing strong, and then I get a fucking book deal. And I went, there's no way I can not smoke and write. It's just not happening. Another Doug Stanhope and Friends tour is probably how this is going to have to start, at least, after we tape the last one. If I'm going back to doing stand-up, it's going to be like that.

Do you want to talk about that for a second? Sure. I wanted to ask you earlier, but now that we're back on it um that process you kind of figured out while we were right at the beginning i mean there wasn't a fucking manager's meeting we didn't i mean you just figured if you do 15 minutes introduce yourself to the crowd do 15 minutes and then bring up a comic you like and then they do time and then you can do another 15 minutes and then bring out another comic and then you do another 15 minutes and say good night yeah that's 45 minutes which is it was actually and i never

you never did 45 it was always over and we had one person i remember complain about that but i think it was because they didn't understand but after all of that that we went through doing that what's your opinion on that for coming out of the gate with with really no new material and having to get out on the road is this is that worth it is that something you want to continue to make it worked and the the alternative would be, all right, go do three weeks of full weeks in clubs like other people do and do your fucking two shows Friday and two shows Saturday. Go back to Go Bananas, which I love Go Bananas. I might even do that before taping a special, depending on when we're doing it, because it's a small room but I mean when we did it I remember Boston was the just a fucking nightmare at least mentally where I was doing Doug Stanhope and friends but it was I had

to cancel it was at the theater whatever we played there was it the one with the monkey yeah pocket monkey was there and India Pearl yes God. And India Pearl. Yes. The Wil... Wilbur. Wilbur. Yeah, the Wilbur. That was a makeup show, because I had to cancel a show there because of Bingo's coma. So I went back in there with Doug Stanhope and friends, and that's a show you do at GoBananas, where it's 150 seats or something.

You don't do that to the fucking Wilbur theater without someone bitching and someone bitched, which I, you know, extrapolate into everybody. Yeah. No, one guy did,

and I still remember it and it still hurts. Fuck you guy. Well, that's what I started. I went back in my book cause I keep track of the, the sets, like how much time you do and how much time everyone else does. I went back and I'm going, there's fucking not a night that you didn't do. Like, first of all, you're riffing off the front.

So you got brand new stuff, like things that were fucking between the last time you were on stage and now. Oh, yes. And then I started adding everything up. You're doing like, you're doing an hour 15 minimum, hour 11 minimum, and people are like, oh, we thought we were coming here for the Doug Stanhope show, and it's like, what's this little bits and pieces? It's like, it's the exact same show

in a different order. Yeah. It gives me a break to go back and re, you know, shoo some stuff and not try to memorize a fucking hour and 15 minutes with segues. All right right we'll do it in this order remember we did uh two or three shows it'd be one thing if the doug stand open friends if the friends were some fucking three week old fucking local acts from your open mic that i made

you sit through we did i think it was the first time we did Canada and your special was coming out on cable. And I remember it was like the third night. No, we were in London. The first time at London. And that night was the last night you could do the material because while you were on stage, the special was coming out. So the next day, all new. You were like doing a sitcom.

We got the board. You're taking pieces and going, put this here, put this there. It's like after three or four shows of the tour, you had to absolutely have a whole new set overnight. And it was just things that you had accumulated, but you had to say goodbye to all that stuff that night. And this is the alternative to that. Yeah all that stuff that night and this is this is the alternative to that yeah i say that i don't work hard but there's those moments it's like cops say it's a bunch of sitting around and then you have sheer terror well that night was the sheer terror he might have a gun is that a pocket comb? He's reaching.

And that also went with the idea of live podcasting, which is kind of – it's dicey. Like we don't know what we could do live podcasting. The few I've done, I – Other people's. Yeah. Wait. Yeah, well... Wait, oh, no, no. Hold on a second. Live podcasting... In front of an audience.

...and doing a live show as a podcast. Live podcasting, when you say that, I immediately thought of you streaming live. In front of a live audience. Okay, yeah. I don't know why we don't do that once a month. I'm not against it, but I wouldn't want to do it

exclusively without doing stand-up as well i don't know if you know the same show or you know different shows because you're not building up i go on the road with doug stanhope and friends i'm building towards a new hour as they say which is never just an hour, where it's just doing the podcast. It would be all the road degradation without anything in the notebook bank at the end of it. Just be us talking shit and getting hammered. Well, you could do the... Doug Benson's got a good thing

where he does something during the day. What, that not getting hammered? No. No, he does his shows at 420. Yeah, I know. But he does the podcast show, Doug Loves Movies, and then he's got a show that night. Sometimes. Sometimes he doesn't.

But I know what you're saying. You have to have the drinks with the other guys, and then you got to do a show after that. It's a little dicey. Yeah. Still like the Unbookables 3 idea. That would be just complete work of passion and loss of money, but it would be fun to do the Unbookables 3. If you haven't caught up on every podcast,

after Inman pounded his Unbookables documentary for so many years, we said we are going to do the Unbookables 3. Ignore the fact that there was never an Unbookables Part 2. Recast Inman. Try to get Don Barris to play Inman. Just Windy City heated up. We were going to hire Inman to be the consultant for the actor playing Inman. We did a lot of ideas for that.

Oh my God, dude, we were on the road. I think Erickson was in there too. We were in the car driving to the gigs and for like two days we were just spitballing. Yeah, Kansas City and then to Denver. Just spitballing ideas on what would be fucking hilarious. It's still hilarious. Fucking Rouse tapes. I dropped the ball on this.

Go ahead. No, go ahead. I just kept thinking of the things that we were going to have to fire Inman as his own consultant. Bring in a new consultant. Let him go. Bring in someone to be the consultant for Inman to consult the actor that's playing Inman and then we were going to hire someone else

who's like totally not right for the part but then he's like hired and Inman just goes nuts and then the other thing was then we were going to bring him back and we were going to be in a state that allowed legal unions and we were going to same-sex marry him

to the other actor. We were going to say, no, no, the preacher, he's an actor, but he's an actual preacher. So he's actually married? He's actually married. We need a B-roll of you signing the document.

There you go. No, no, your real name. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, we'll blur out your social security number, but put the real one. I don't know if you have to do that. Fuck. I don't know if I...

Rouse tapes. But Inman, when Hennigan fatefully brought him to the UK, he brought him to Scotland in like 2006. After all the George Bush slamming was tired. All right, now everyone's talking shit. They're just bored with it. And Inman had finally grown some balls to talk some shit about George W. Bush.

And everyone's bored with it. And he's eating shit every night. Hennigan was going to set up all of his press that he was a character, that James Inman was a character that he plays, and just to watch Inman go, What do you mean? What do you mean a character? I'm not a character.

It's bullshit. No, just keep going. He's in character now. I'm part of it. Yeah. I love that idea. Fucking with Inman, I think we could He's in character now. I'm part of it. Yeah. I love that idea. Fucking with Inman, I think we could make a career off of him. I mean, not a glorious.

He is. No, he's not. We aren't. That's what I mean. He gets some play out of it. I saw, oh, Rouse, there is a final recording of Rouse that the guys in Houston have, and I haven't talked to them about what they're doing with it, but

we should get that out. You listened to it, didn't you? Most of it, yeah. Hannigan listened to it, and it would need some editing. Sean was in Rouse form. Oh, definitely, yeah.

Not prime Rouse form, Rouse form. Yeah. It starts to get sluggish. oh definitely yeah not prime Rose form Rose form yeah so yeah it starts to get sluggish he's walking through mud with his lips at the end

you're not gonna convince someone to like Sean Rouse and his comedy you either the person that's listening to it

is either gonna get it and like it or they're just that's not my cup of tea but that's not how they answer that's not their opinion not my cup of tea. But that's not how they answer.

That's not their opinion. Not my cup of tea. They have other things to say about it. It's also, it's just audio. It's not video. And seeing Rouse is half of it. I mean, the whole cripple thing to see how, what's the word? Fucked up he is. Watching him try to move on stage. So that's in the word. Fucked up. He is. Watching him try to move on stage.

So that's in the bank. Nick Van Zant. He followed me on Twitter. He's one of the KVOA Tucson Morning News crew guys. I'm like, oh, they're not all against me. Followed me on Twitter. I looked at his Twitter. See, he has a podcast. I go, that would be

a fun swap cast to do. Oh, yeah. With Nick Van Zandt from KVOA and April Madison, my news girl from KGUN9, even though I've been going back and watching a little of the BMO, Jeff Beamish. That would be a fun swap cast up in Tucson.

Nick, I bet he'd be into it. He might get fired from KVOA. Go and do your little funny podcast with the guy who sabotages our news crew. And again, the crazy kid on the East Coast, we want to get out there and do a podcast with him. Comedy. Hennigan would fucking yell at me if I said this. So I'll wait till next week.

And the fucking one that we've been talking about since we've been talking to each other. The easiest fucking thing in the world to do that's the most fun. And we just never get around to it because it just seems too easy, is prank calls. So fucking prank call tapes. It's the funniest thing in the world. If they're even reasonably good, and you listen to a lot of prank calls, and you go, that's so poorly thought out. Were you in a hurry? to a lot of prank calls and you go,

that's so poorly thought out. Were you in a hurry? You could have done... I'm talking to the fucking radio going, no, say this. So, yeah, I got some stuff I could do with my life. We just have to get around to it. Or show the list to someone

else to help you. Yeah, I need management. Yeah. Fucking filthy Scotsman. What's he been doing? He'll lie to us anyway. We'll find out in the next podcast. Yeah. Let's get some fucking truth serum.

Can you imagine if Brian Hennigan was under the spell of some kind of... What do you call that? Sodium pentothal. That's it. It's the shit they used to use in World War II. You have the L pill between your cheek and gum in case you got caught by the Nazis or the Japs. Yeah, so you could

bite on that before they made you talk with the sodium pentothal. Can you imagine Hennigan's darkest secrets all spilled out in one podcast? I don't see that Hennigan pulls many punches. Well, he doesn't tell you about his personal life. Oh, personal life. Okay. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't want to know that. Yeah, I did cringe after I said it. The fact that he used to be a birdwatcher is enough for me. He did that because he was bored. It wasn't much of a story there, but it definitely colors the

painting a little bit. Yeah. I've never been without him this long. Yeah. And not really noticed. Well, we'll see what happens. He's busy. It's not like he's been

sitting around doing nothing. He's got a lot of things going on. Irons. I mean, he's busy. It's not like he's been sitting around doing nothing. He's got a lot of things going on. Irons in the fires, if you will. I don't know. He did a Sober October, I think, in August. Oh. Is that the UK's version of Sober October? It's a different time zone.

Boxing day? It's their boxing day? Yeah, I think he took a month off. When he takes a month off, you take time off a lot. And that's not because you're dragging ass necessarily. Huh? You.

I'm not really drinking this week. You do that quite often. I'm fine with it right now. I've been since the 29th at the comedy store with the Bretzels and Tracy. That was the last time I had. And I said in the past, that was enough. It was time to take a break. I was a shit face.

I've felt 98% of the time I feel fucking great during sober October. The times where I'm sober. Yeah. And then you have to do a podcast yeah but it's been raining all day we couldn't do anything for the haunt all day long today so we got supplies and stuff and I'm like itching to do stuff

because I got energy and can't do shit so now it works out because I got to edit this this goes out tonight yeah alright then I'll shut the fuck up. All right. Well, we'll have Hennigan on next week with his deep, dark secrets, and he'll tell you what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and career.

Thank you, Gump, for sitting here and staring at us. Thank you, Tracy, for making us mocktails. Yeah. Okay, so that's it. Thank you very much for continuing to pay attention. Something's going to go wrong soon. I feel it. Bye. Take the music, take the music. There ain't no such thing to choose, it's the only thing you need. And you're gonna lose it, you've got to choose it. Take life and move and let your body start to move, yeah.

Take the music, take the music. To have a free action, give your, a sacrifice, yeah We got the secret and we'll give it to you freely Take all you want, we got much more than you need And the dose you get will do you right And now you dance with the monster So shed that skin and take off that mask you're wearing We gave you the key and you're always welcome back again No matter where, no where you need

The Sonic Rescue So take some music, take some music Sonic Rescue Take a music, take a music No effort, reaction, give yourself satisfaction Thank you. No time for a month or excuse. It's all right here for the taking. Take the music. Take the music. There ain't nothing to choose. It's the only thing you need. When you're going through the day, you've got to use it. You may want to groove and let your body start to move. Take the music.

Take the music. Take some music. No adverse reaction. Give your soul the satisfaction. You've got to feel that. You've got to feel it. all right let's get back where's my list make a rustling sound with the lid. A little more exaggerated. Not like the Marx Brothers.