The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #287: Pain Hurts in the BK Family Meal Challenge

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

A pre-Thanksgiving podcast - Castle Rock Kenny attempts to polish off a complete BK Family meal, a listener is invited down to make a dish for the holiday feast and Doug claims to have figured out how BK is able to stay in business.Email your questions for the podcast to [e-mail] Nov 25th, 2018 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Kenny (@cstlrckkenny), Brett Erickson (@iBrettmypants), Mitchell, Jonathan, Mishka (@MIshkaShubaly), Butternut & Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced by ChailleThis episode is sponsored byStanhope Store Merch - STOLEN HOTEL BIBLES, Signed and Personalized (while supplies last). Also, we have a new Podcast Coffee Mug and the last of the VHS copies of “Popov Vodka presents Doug Stanhope in the Funhouse”. [http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/](http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/)Wheeler Walker Jr's New album “WW3” - [https://www.wheelerwalkerjr.com/](https://www.wheelerwalkerjr.com/)LINKS -We like what they are doing over at [FIRRP.org](http://www.FIRRP.org) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org](http://www.innocenceproject.org)Closing song, “Your Biscuits Are Big Enough For Me” (1928), by Bo Carter - [https://publicdomain4u.com/music/](https://publicdomain4u.com/music/)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast welcome to the festivities doug stanhope podcast listeners it is uh the night before thanksgiving we were gonna cheat this i was to cheat this as being Thanksgiving morning. But then someone called in to question my fucking that it would be duplicitous. But it's still the same thing. It's the night before Thanksgiving. We have a house full

on the mic right now. Chaley Brett Erickson is here. Jonathan Short is back from his he had to go back to Silicon Valley and make some money. I'm here. And most importantly for this podcast, Kenny is here. And as we've talked about, at some point, Kenny talked shit about, in the weekly circular, you get Burger King coupons.

Because Burger King, as you know, is the worst fast food in the world and it's the only corporate fast food we have in Bisbee so you get coupons for tons of shit from Burger King that we throw right away but Kenny Kenny's one of those guys Castle Rock Kenny at

Castle Rock Kenny without vowels I think is how his Twitter goes he's the kind of kid that and you're 43 at this point. 41, whatever. He's the kid that says, dare me to lick dog doo. It's the leaflet of dreams to him. Don't open that door. So Kenny's always talked shit.

The coupon for the family pack of Burger King, he could eat all in one sitting. Dare me to lick dog, dude. So, for Thanksgiving Eve, Kenny is going to eat, what do you have in front of you? Three Whoppers. Three Rodeo cheeseburgers. Three Rodeo cheeseburgers. Three Rodeo Cheeseburgers. Three fries. Three large fries.

And take those drinks away from him because he was going to do three large drinks, which is ridiculous, especially considering I don't. Sorry, guy that listens and sent us those awful sodas. sent us those awful sodas. There's a... Someone sent us six sodas that are... It's a bacon flavor, bacon with chocolate flavor, ranch dressing flavor, sweet corn flavor,

buffalo wing, and what am I missing? PB&J. Peanut butter and jelly. So you don't have to drink three 44-ounce sodas. You only have to drink one of those. Blind draw. Blind draw.

I get the labels turned away from you. So go ahead and select your soda. Just keep in mind, Kenny, you're not limited to one. You can drink all six if you like. But go ahead. Just go up. Diddy Mao. Diddy Mao.

Pick quick. Don't try to read backwards through the label. That one looks the worst. That looks like piss. Oh, the orange soda. Different guy. Buffalo Wing. Fuck me.

Buffalo Wing. Have Tracy, your bartender, open that for you. Fuck me. So while we podcast. Ice. Ice. Oh, that's ridiculous. No, warm.

Yeah, warm would be better. Warm buffalo wing soda? No. Yeah, man. That's not fair. Spicy. Okay, so while we podcast, we will check back in with Kenny to see how he's doing. And you have an hour time limit, which is perfect for a podcast.

Who's running the clock? Erickson. Erickson will run it. Good. He's on it. Someone's on something here. Yeah, we've got a house full of the Bratchels. Gump is here for a minute.

Jen's here. Biggo's here. Tracy's here. Mishka Shubali is here. Big O's here. Tracy's here. Mishka Shubali is here. We'll check in with Mishka later on in the podcast to see the fallout of the incredible Mishka Inman series. Was that

a twosome? Gotta wait. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. We gotta wait to start. Why don't we start him now because it's gonna be an hour. Yeah, start now. Go ahead. What are you starting with? The Whopper. You're starting with the Whopper. Go big, baby. The Retracting Flies as well.

All right. One hour. What was the total cost of all the food? Oh, yeah. What was the total cost? Because on top of all of this, you didn't have the fucking coupon. This whole thing started because you talked shit about the coupon. So what did I pay?

$24.07. $24.07. I bet he doesn't get $10 worth of it into him. Oh, shit. We were going to weigh it. Fuck it. It doesn't matter. He's not going to get halfway through this.

No. What do you guys want to bet? Do we have a pool on this at all? We don't have a pool, but since we have a full house, you can gamble it out. Side wagering allowed. You can start making your bets now. We also have a

it's Thanksgiving. We'll probably have, I don't know, fucking 20, 30 people stop by in and out. I ain't gonna have a show. I got it easy. I only have to make the butternut squash and the rolls, which throw them in the oven for eight minutes,

and cranberry sauce, which I am a fan of canned, especially when I'm cooking for others. Yeah, you're on the clock, baby. Get going. Yeah, you're going. Go ahead. There he goes. It's rolling. Can he see?

Yes, he can. Go ahead. There he goes. It's rolling. Can he see? Yes, he can. Butternut squash is my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner, but it's also the biggest pain in the ass to make. And I only know how to make it one way, which is probably the biggest pain in the ass. I boil it, then hold chunks of it and scoop out the – when it gets smashy like mashed potatoes, I scoop that out of the skin and I'm burning my hands.

But I love it. Sounds terrible. I got an email, as I often do. Hey, I'm a big fan and I'm in Tucson for the week for Thanksgiving. I would really love to grab a drink with you and have you sign my book. And then some other nonsense joke. I'm not sure. He said,

I would murder all of Jared from Subway's love children just to have a drink with you. Which you didn't have to go that far because I just simply wrote back,

do you know how to make butternut squash? And I woke up to the reply, of course I do. That's an easy one. I said, all right, here's the address. Get down here today, because I want it ready for tomorrow. So we have butternut. Come on up, butternut. Butternut Alex Zoltan something orternut. Butternut, Alex, Zoltan, something or other.

Yeah, Goat. Goat. Yeah, sounds like Chode. When I Google searched you, Zoltan, Alex Zoltan, Goat, I got Jim Goat interviewing someone by the name Zoltan. Yeah, interviewing a gypsy vending. Yeah, he does stuff with with McInnes.

Gavin McInnes. He's that fucking crazy UK guy is he? He's from the States. He does a lot of interviews with him and writes articles about why white privileges fall so on and so forth and everything like that.

He's got good points and you know unfortunately we share the same last name so i own one of his books uh you know but uh no thank you for having me i really do appreciate it and i appreciate not having to uh cook butternut squash which you already made it's ready for the morning to reheat yeah and uh and you're blowing off your fucking family you've came all the way out to visit your mother and stepfather yeah they they just retired down at tucson and uh yeah i kind of blew them off a wee bit to visit one of my favorite comedian and worth it that's all i can say about that but uh no i just thought it was interesting getting the initial email.

Do you know how to make butternut squash? And it's just, yeah. I can Google it. No, I mean, I know how to cook it. It was just interesting to get that as the first email back. I was expecting the, oh, I appreciate that you're a fan. Fuck off, you know, in a more tactful way. But, you know.

Well, the going rule is if you're in town anyway, email me if there's something afoot and we're in the mood. Yeah, well, you can come over. But I'm not making plans. And, yeah, Bingo and I were somewhere la or new york where we ran into two or three different people that we were at your house we stayed there you had us uh we we dropped by and you let us stay in the guest house and i don't know so we won't remember you oh yeah no no since you're now nicknamed butternut which kind of hacks off of uh butters

yeah uh but yeah i'll remember oh butternut must have been thanksgiving butters was actually my nickname in high school i was the guy that was oh geez fellas i don't know if we should be doing this you know shooting heroin in the woods seems kind of like a bad idea can we just take mushrooms yeah that was the real voice of reason, really. Yeah, when he showed up. A lot of people show up and they're nervous. But you knew that Butternut was an open mic-er at least because he came in riffing.

He took the whole two-hour drive down thinking of things he could say. and he took the whole two-hour drive down thinking of things he could say. And tonight, several hours after he cooked and it has beers in them, he said to someone, yeah, I've done a few open mics. I go, yeah, like when you first got here,

you did a bunch of them. It went over. Yeah, check out my album. It was funny in the car. I came here to give you guys my mixtape. See how that went. Button Up was kind enough to give me a lift down to the gas station to get some beers.

We were queuing up at the... That means lining up. Oh, yeah. Raise your voice, by the way. I'm sorry. Yeah, we were lining up at the till, the checkout. And there was a bit of queue in there. They were a bit useless.

And your jumper smelled like a pack of fags. Did we get a trolley when we were shopping? I'm just curious. Something like that. Yeah. But we were lining up, and you were making nervous conversation with me, and you stared at me with your crazy eyes,

and you said, I'm sorry, it's a weird question to ask, but are you on something? And I thought, well, I've had a couple of beers, but surely I don't look like a tweaker or something. And I didn't know how to answer. And he said, oh, I'm really sorry. And he said, are you a comedian? Are you on a podcast why are you why are you here oh no no no so and i was chatting to him about then and then

we were driving back up van dyke and uh there was meatwig under one like freaking out under one of the fleet of your cars, like trying to make a run across the road. And I said to him, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's Meatwig. Don't run him over. Don't meet your comedy hero and kill his cat. It would have been a hell of a story. That's what I said.

I thought that would have been hilarious. You'd remember him then I would have lost a cat just for that story just to fuck with you for the rest of your life I take what I can get I already told you the joke about putting the weight

underneath my welcome mat just to see who I'm letting into my apartment you led with that I didn't think about it on the car drive over. Trust me, that was at the top of my head, all right? I just want to know how much they weigh before I let them in my place. Yeah, see, we don't make fat girl jokes on this podcast. Well, fair enough.

I've said that on stage. A lot of people say, I don't see color. I do. It's a survival mechanism sometimes. But I don't see fat because most of my friends are fat my dad was fat I guess all my fat friends are dead I'm going back to Ronnie Putnam

and Ralphie May alright my dad I used to have Banjo Randy you're trying to be sensitive for them but they're not here to hear it so oh they're not here to hear it. Oh, they're all around us. That's how San Antonio is.

After my dad died, it was the first time that he heard me make a fat joke in the fun house. When Christine Levine was blowing me on some coke in Portland, I saw fat then. I looked down and went, oh, Thank God I'm not fucking her or Bingo would get jealous. Hey, Doug, we're at he's into his second Whopper. Kenny's into his second Whopper. Oh, man. He's a third

of the way through the prize. Step back a second, Butternut. I want to see the look on his face. He just looks high. Kenny starved himself for this. You didn't eat for a day or something. If you want to talk, don't even try to talk. Let's just watch one bite.

Oh, yeah. How do you feel, Kenny? Give me a thumbs up. Thumbs up. He feels good. You think you're going to get all three Whoppers down, much less the rodeo cheese

burgers by the way burger king is the worst food in the world disagree respectfully well you're a fucking vegetarian the only reason brett erickson likes burger king is because they have a vegan burger which uh veggie burger veggie burger yeah It's good. It's very considerate of them to the planet. You have a lot of time left. You got plenty of time. Take your time. Take your time. I'm surprised he's worried now because for like two whole minutes, he was texting and

not eating. While you guys were talking, I'm looking at him going like, maybe we should have made it 30 minutes. He likes to... He finishes strong in the last furlong. I think it's all going to his lump. Oh, man. He was Googling diarrhea cures.

Kenny has a very overt cyst kind of lump on it. It's like the dark backward only on his forehead rather than his shoulder. It's an absorbed twin. Yeah. That's what's telling him to eat all the food. This episode is brought to you by the Hindu religion. The other thing

might get a little mad. Tell him about the airport because that was funny. I had another story like that but okay so yeah i i used to live in bisbee i used to be a sort of neighbor here and uh unfortunately i had to go and earn some money again and uh about six hey this is not npr okay fucking throw it out anyway i was coming to bisbee for a for a nice vacation over the holiday period. Sat at the airport bar having a quick cocktail. And a guy sits down next to me and says, hey, buddy, how are you doing?

And so I sort of ignored him and looked at my phone. And then there was a couple having nearly a fight in the airport bar. And I looked around and thought this could be fun. And he was doing the same. And we sort of nodded at each other and said, yes. And I looked around and thought, this could be fun. And he was doing the same. And we sort of nodded at each other. And then he said to me, A common enemy. Yeah.

And he said, oh, where are you going to? And I said, I'm going to Bisbee, Arizona. He said, and on the beat, he just said, are you going to see Doug Stanhope? And I said, yes, yes, I am. And then he started telling me about the podcast he listened to and he was railing off loads

of names coming. Oh, that's right. That was the whole point. That's it, yeah. He railed off all the names of the podcast regulars and he's a tech guy. That's right, yeah. So, Roy, if you're listening, I know you were going gonna listen to one of

the podcasts on your flight when you'd left me yeah yeah i'm listening for ages um but roy works in tech um and he works for a gaming sort of tech company who do like uh headphones and mics for gamers and keyboards and mice and all this stuff so right if you're listening we were chatting about chad because i was telling you about Chad Shank being on Twitch now. So I'm sure you've got loads of just freebies there. Yes. So send them to the address. You know Doug's address because you –

212 Van Dyke Street, Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. Send it to us. Yeah, send Chad some free shit there, Roy. And thanks for listening. But, yeah, no, to us. Yeah, send Chad some free shit there, Roy. And thanks for listening. But yeah, no, to Roy. For one, for a Stanhope fan. Two, for somebody who works in tech. And three, for somebody who thinks it's socially acceptable

to start a conversation with strangers at an airport bar. You're quite good company, so thank you for that. Send Chad loads of shit. Please do. And I've heard this story multiple times when people bring up Bisbee, that if people are fans of the podcast or me in general, they know that I live here. That's the only reason they know Bisbee.

So if you're ever on a flight or in a weird place where you have awkward conversation, hey, where are you from? Always say Bisbee, Arizona to see if my name comes up. That's a fun game. Kenny, you ready to puke yet? He's had one more bite since the last time we checked in.

But he's done three tweets. He's doing good. Should we break for the commercial now? All doing good should we break for the commercial now alright let's break for the commercial hey the first commercial are you hungry are you sitting out there starving to death eat anything

but Burger King it's fucking swill it's filth they're fucking robber baron carpet bagger shithole. They just, they open up restaurants where you have no choice.

Highway fucking toll areas, airports. They get an exclusive contract where you go, well, we can't compete against anything. I'll eat an old shoe. I'll eat a dead bird. I'll eat your cat that ate a dead bird Meatwing

Alright let's go to the real sponsors And we'll be right Back Chaley let's hump some merch It's holiday season And it's time for you to buy some Doug Stanhope shit For your friends and your relatives For the Christmas and the Hanukkah

And the Kwanzaa and whatever you do. What a great white elephant gift. No shit. Yeah. First of all, we got the stolen hotel Bibles that we've been stocking up on while I haven't been on the road, but I have been traveling. Those are autographed and personalized and sent to you. This Bible stolen exclusively for your name here by my name here.

So those while supplies last, we have new podcast coffee mugs which I haven't even seen. They're new. Oh, okay. They're white. Okay, good. Good. And of course I have my books at the DougStanhope.com

store. Got Chad Shank t-shirts. We still have some of the VHS of my last throwaway special, Pop-Off Vodka Presents. Also, we've got the Abortionist Green white and in the banana cream. I like the banana cream. And we've got a couple of podcast

shirts, the Pop-Off Vodka shirt, Bingo's book, stickers, gadgets, knick-knacks. Oh, Death of a Salesman, the Christ onknacks oh death of a salesman the uh christ on a cross with death of a salesman t-shirt that'll make you a lot of

friends at christmas and of course cds and dvds and all that shit so go to dougstandup.com and go to the store and load up

your black friday cyber monday whatever the fuck that nonsense is and i hope you're doing it for yourself and not someone else, because you have to. One man is on a mission to save the state of country music. Country music.

To get there, we'll have to go through W.W.3. The new album from country music superstar Wheeler Walker Jr. Featuring the singles Save Some Titty Milk For Me. And I Like Sm pot a lot. I like smoking pot a lot. I like getting stoned a lot. Keep your hands off his woman and get them on WW3. The new album from Wheeler Walker Jr. Available November 30th.

Pre-order now. And check out exclusive bundles at wheelerwalkerjr.com. Mm-hmm. I like biscuits and mustard. I also like the Doug Stanhope podcast. Mm-hmm. And as soon as we went to break, Butternut, trying to show me all the toys in his box, all at the same time and all the things,

he said, well, at least I didn't go into my old radio voice. And I go, I wish you had, because Brett Erickson used to do radio and can do perfect radio voice. So now we're going to do Brett. And Brett and Butternut in the morning. That's perfect. Brett and Butternut in the morning. Hey, tell us what's going on here.

641. Bisbee this morning. Sunshine, Butternut, and Brett live from the Funhouse. And you're listening to us, 105.1. Be sure to stay tuned because we're going to tell you what Burger King has to offer you. Is it indigestion? Is it diarrhea?

You will have to wait to find out. Brett, how is things going for you? Things are going well, Butternut. We like to use proper grammar on our morning show. How be things going to you?

Well, we be eating this morning. Yeah? We be eating a full family pack of Burger King burgers. Delicious and wholesome. I did Robin Quivers. We're three whoppers in. We're two junior Whoppers to go. And right now we're dealing with him looking like he has just pain.

That's all I can describe it as. It just actually looks like depressed pain. I'd like to describe it in a better way, but as it stands, it just appears that he is dealing with everything that Burger King has to offer it's coming out one end it's coming out the other but I'm I can't be sure about that let's cut back to him and find out how are you I should have just put you on traffic and weather together you had your beats off the air, but you're failing miserably in the live commentary. Well, I get stuck between doing my DJ thing

and doing the 1940s guy, Watch out for that Adolf Hitler, he's a bad egg. That FDR, oh, we don't know about him. Winston Churchill is fighting the boys over in Germany. You know, it's hard to choose between. Your open mic is over. You got the light. We're going to get Mishkin here. Yeah,, your open mic is over. You got the light. Beat it. We got to get Mishka in here.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Well, thanks for having me. I do appreciate it. You want to do traffic and weather? Yeah, I might as well do traffic and weather. Yeah, it's good. We've always talked about doing that for KBRP, the local public radio in town that you can only get in like three parts of town.

Just do a morning drive time that's three minutes long or five minutes long. And it's always the traffic is always perfect and the weather is perfect. And then play Radar Love or something. One song and that's the whole morning drive. Traffic and weather together on the 8th. Traffic clear. Sun out. And for your morning commute,

golden earring. Do they broadcast it over T-Mobile? You can only get it in three places in town. Mishka! Mishka's here for Thanksgiving. That closer. Hey, there I am.

He finally got to do his previously canceled show in Tucson when Christine Levine fucked up and didn't. Ah, yeah, I booked that show. I forgot to call him back. Yeah, I don't want to shit on Butternut being the new gun here but when when i'm called in to be the reliable closer that's like that's a that's a bad sign i'm not i'm not we never said you were reliable the comic relief so yeah after your histrionics from the James Inman setup, what's the fucking Chris Hansen show?

To Catch a Predator. Yeah, To Catch a Predator. Oh, did I tell you this? When you were talking to me before the show, you were talking to me about the whole Inman thing, and you said that I still think I got more followers on Twitter out of that than Inman did. I was reading my text message, and I didn't realize until you walked out of the room, I'm reading Inman saying, make sure you mention on the podcast that I only have 1,500 followers,

and I used to have 3,000 followers. I go, oh, fucking M, Michigan was just talking about that. I, well, I think somebody posted a fucking screen cap of his account before it went down. And it was like 1400. I love you,

James. I don't, I'm not fucking rekindling a fucking sounds like some rekindling is going on to know the, um, at underscore James underscore. You didn't really get a lot of shit for that, did you? No, I did.

Well, this is the thing is that I did get a couple of messages from people who were like, I'm not going to follow you on Instagram until you fucking write a public letter of apology to Inman or whatever. And I was like, okay can i can live with that but uh but your your fans are the entire spectrum of weird so there there are the you know the fucking hopeless basement dwellers who work at the circle k but then there's also like fucking hardcore hackers and people like that and i was like it just takes one person who's like i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking take inman's vengeance to pull down fucking every online account i have or whatever or fucking hack something or you know what i mean troll my amazon reviews or whatever they've done

to me the uh what's ironic is when fucking uh uh, when Inman's, when the first podcast with Inman dropped, one of the first messages I got was from Jake Flores, who was like, yeah, that was fucked up. You shouldn't have gotten Inman kicked off Twitter. Who's that? Uh, Jake Flores is the comic that he was fighting with on, uh, on Facebook. Yeah. No idea.

He, he came down on, on Inman's side. No, I mean, listen. It was mostly just fucking anxiety and dread. But to kick off a fucking... But you are very Inman-like in that same way where you hate to hear it, but you do react the same way Inman does, but in a separate but parallel universe. You... Oh, fuck. I'm going to get a lot of shit now. I internalize it instead of fucking, I don't know,

pulling down Brett's website. There's really no reason for you to have thought. If you contact James Inman and say, hey, you need to stop your embarrassing yourself, you just need to think about that sentence. And, I mean, that is Inman's thing. Embarrassing himself is what he does. But you always go, oh, now I'm the center of attention.

You guys are fucking with me. You do an Inman, and you probably don't realize it because you fancy yourself more intelligent than Inman, and that's arguable on different levels after the last fucking podcast you're having me back to fucking rip me up again you should be telling me like how nice my fucking hair looks today or something you have a hair this is this is a fucked up thing is that like seemed he was bald you have like fucking pole position from here on out because now when i fucking roll in here and

you guys are dicks to me i'm like well you can't be dicks to me you were fucking dicks to me last time when you're nice to me i'm like oh fuck what's coming now but that's the point you if you were to fuck with me or chaley i'm trying to think of a good example of someone who'd just go i don't care it It's no fucking fun there. The one time we put the fucking balloons in your room, you were such a sourpuss about it. It filled up the blue room or the pink room full of balloons. You were just mopey about it. Doug has a phobia about balloons, though.

I mean, that is a big thing. That we hurt his feelings? No. That we made him uncomfortable? No, I thought it was unimaginative. It's already in my book about my mother fucking... She filled my apartment with inflatable fucking bunnies from the after Easter dollar store sale.

So she thought it would be funny. And I'm just coming off the road. I'm not afraid of inflatable Easter bunny balloons because they're not balloons. They're inflatable. They don't pop. I'm afraid of things. Did she blow them all up with her knackered lungs? She must have.

She didn't have any friends. She didn't have any gump work. We're going to take a quick aside. What time is Kenny at? Has Kenny already called it quits? There's 32 minutes remaining. He needs some time. He's at the 28-minute mark.

You haven't touched your soda, Kenny. Kenny, come talk to us. He's eaten exactly half. He can't move. He can't move right now. He's eaten two Whoppers and one of the Ranch Burgers. The Rodeo? Get in here, you guy.

Looks like half the fries. I think he's a little more than halfway through because he's eaten two of the Whoppers and one of the Whopper Juniors. So he's about 50 and halfway through the fries at least. So I would say he's about 55 to 60% of the way through. But don't they on the hot dog eating competitions, don't they eat the sausage and then screw the bread up and eat that sausage? Here's where he's making his mistake. Because if you watch the 4th of July Coney Island thing,

they dip their hot dogs in their water. So he should be dipping his Whoppers in his Buffalo Wild Wings soda. That would be the logical decision. Yeah, you have to finish the soda. That's where he's making his mistake. They also eat cabbage and shit to fucking stretch their stomachs out beforehand, and he hasn't been eating anything all fucking day. Kenny's pregame preparation.

I'm going to take a sip of the Buffalo Wings soda. I have to. soda. I have to. I smoke quite a bit, so... There's more. Yeah, it's got the aftertaste. Is it like... I just imagine it tastes like vomit.

Like sweet and vinegary. Is there meat in it? Kenny, do you want to pick a second soda? Oh yeah, you can try it. Walk on up, butternut. I gotta give this a swill. Kenny, if we got you more high, I don't know how the munchies actually work.

Well, that's actually reasonable. That definitely did. Yeah, devoid of taste. Kenny, just project. Well, I have to say, I was doing good. Just stand up, you fucking... Come on.

Jesus. This is your dumb idea. Yeah. It's the dumbest idea. It is the dumbest idea I've come up with in a while, but... Are you tapping? No, not yet.

I'm working on it. I smell a tap. He's got a half an hour. I got word from my producer that you had tapped. No, I said, he looks like he's finished. He's laying back. He's not going to finish. He's 55% of the way through and he will not make 60%.

He's got 30 minutes left. He's a fucking liar and a child. The dogs are circling him like vultures right now. This is like with Cool Hand Luke where we just have to massage the eggs down. John, you lube them up. I saw at one point where the dogs smelled food and now Henry is behind the bar at my feet because she smelled the food

and then she smelled Burger King and went, no. That doesn't help. Feces, fine. Cat vomit, good. Burger King, though. Burger King is like the triple sec of food where it's like... Want a bet? I'll bet you anything, Henry Lee, does cheeseburger quicker than she does. Good. Burger King, though. Burger King is like the triple sec of food.

I'll bet you anything Henry will eat this cheeseburger quicker than she will. Well, I'll tell you what. If Henry said he would, he would. Go ahead, Mishka. It's like the triple sec of fast food. It's like you fucking drank everything else. It's the only thing that's left. It's the fucking bottom of the bottom of the barrel.

Burger King is good. The flame broiled is a good idea. I do appreciate the flame broiled. Yeah, it's good. And the veggie omelette. I have it. I'll fucking do it. At the end of this podcast, it's sit bingo.

It's on the fucking counter. It's fake smell that Burger King pumps out of their chimneys. Grab that bottle, and then we're going to burn that. Is that Burger King conspiracy theory? You're going to do a shot of that? It fucking is. So there's just a big fog machine under their roof,

and they're just dropping liquid smoke in there. More liquid smoke. Burger King's very similar. It's almost lunchtime. It's a vegan restaurant. Is it the real stuff from Burger King? I imagine 22% of your... It's called liquid smoke.

It came from Joby to put on shit where it's fake. When you pull into a Burger King parking lot and you go, oh, I'm just here to take a shit. Maybe I'll eat because of the smell. No, the smell in the fucking stall is the real smell.

You make the smell of Burger King. Burger King? I suspect 22% of you are sort of fan-based. Don't you even fucking talk any more shit, Brett Erickson, because this is an anti-mercial. An infomercial.

This is an anti-mercial. This is against Burger King. You keep eating until you throw up, because I want to post pictures of all the Burger King rappers and your vomit. Put something in your mouth, Kenny! Put it in your mouth now! One of your listeners

must work for Burger King. I think it's a certainty. They can probably steal the real mustard gas they put out for you. Here it is. Yeah, we're going to burn this and everyone's going to think

it's Burger King and they're going to flee like roaches. Wait, it's going to burn this, and everyone's going to think it's Burger King, and they're going to flee like roaches. Wait, it's something you burn? No, it's supposed to put it on fucking meat. I mean, I feel like a shot of that in the Buffalo Wing soda would probably put it over the edge. Smell it. Burger King also has onion rings.

He's got his smelling salts for Kenny. Just put it under his nose. Good hand-dip shakes, too. Hand-dip shakes. Burger King has onion rings. He's adding smelling salts for Kenny. Just put it under his nose. Good hand dip shakes, too. Hand dip shakes. Burger King has onion rings. Let's not forget that. That's an important... We don't.

It's not an onion ring. That's a... It's a ring-shaped... That's like saying pork rinds are pulled pork. So Burger King is racist as well, because on this receipt, he's ordered three whops, which is a racist term for an Italian person.

He ate those on the way over here, which is why he's struggling with the burgers. He's going to come over crying tomorrow. Yeah, I was so sick. I can't eat Thanksgiving dinner. My wife's yelling at me. We got to get Kenny to vape some of that. Okay, let's go here.

That's stupid. Really? I challenge accepted. I disagree. We were talking earlier in the day about the mentality of a Kenny who's like a born whipping boy. That was his name. You guys, you all did radio. Half of you did fucking radio in this room where you find the guy that will do anything.

I was the guy in Anchorage. Oh, you were? Yeah, for a little bit. Butternut was the guy, too. They tased him in a fucking chicken suit or some shit he was telling us a story i talked to the the rvers in the walmart uh parking lot oh and then one time they sent me in the morning uh during drive time dressed as a clown and then they kept trying to call me but my phone wasn't working and they had had death threats and said

they were gonna look they were there some guy was gonna shoot up the radio station and stuff and they're telling when it was they're telling him where i am shaley's down at the sears mall over on northern lights going down and then the guy comes in the station manager was stop bring him in bring we can't get him we don't work we can't. That was one of my favorite Stern things was Wacko the Clown. What's his... I'm sorry. Yucco.

Yucco. Yucco the Clown during the... Oh, no. I got a stack of... Right here. Oh, there we are. All right. Yeah.

It was during the DC sniper thing, which was real. And they were fucking sniping people at gas stations. So Yucca went down with a big sign with a target. Go shoot me. Shoot me. Walking around a gas station in DC. And I go, that's pretty ballsy.

Yeah. They didn't have to tell him what I'm going to do this to get on the radio. You were already on the radio and they made you do it. Yeah. I'm going to do this to get on the radio. You were already on the radio, and I made you do it. Yeah, I was just... I wrote about John Johnson. I'm sure I had to change his name in the book, the kid that would do anything when we were kids, and we would torture him and make him just ring random doorbells on the street.

Oh, no, if you ring the doorbell and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, they'll give you candy. And blow us. Yeah, I was going to say, is this the guy you made suck your dick? No, blow us. We were so young, we didn't know what that meant.

Suck your dick. He would actually blow on your dick. I made you do it. I made you do it. I made you do it. We don't know. Were you terribly disappointed when you got a real blowjob? You're doing it wrong.

Blow, blow. Oh my God. Those kids had the cleanest dicks in all of Massachusetts. The clean dick gang. Or the largest instance of airborne disease. Chop lips. God, Black Pussy,

the band we've had on the podcast, they were on the podcast before the Me Too era of Everything's Wrong and defending their name because it comes from a rolling stone song but they were getting banned uh from gigs they were doing they're playing here on friday to the day after thanksgiving but under a pseudonym because this is a very anti-black pussy kind of town. And Mishka says,

what are they going as? White penis? And then you told me whatever their pseudonym is and I go, no, that's not funny. White penis is funny. Mishka wins this round. Black magic flower power. That was the only funny thing I'll say for the next 48 hours.

Brown cunt would have been good. Much better. Much better. At some point where this has been going on with them for years, and again, I said that to them. I don't know how much of it is contrived, but at this point, probably not a lot of it. But they're so sticking to their guns with, no, we're black pussy.

Yeah. Just fucking change your name. Just fucking cave in. There's not a message there with black pussy. It was funny at the time. That would be the funny thing, though, to be like, yeah, we are going to change it. We're now black cunt. Triple down. All right. We'll go the other way. the funny thing though to be like yeah we are going to change it we're now black cunt like just triple down

that's not the triple down you stayed with black yeah but I said cunt with a hard T I can do black starship like Jefferson Airplane Mishka you do music but you have uh your lyrics is there

has there been a lyric where you go i gotta drop that yeah not really edgy or i mean you do funny shit that's a smart funny yeah i mean there's like we're not smart funny sorry let me back up yeah no i i choked on that but i the problem i've said before with having you or the mattoid or even bird cloud they opened for me yeah All right, where there are funny songs on some level, but there are songs to start. They're not out there to be Henry Phillips. They're not musical comedy. They're songs that occasionally happen to be really fucking funny. But that's not the point. So I would get all this shit like, oh, that band wasn't funny.

The Matoid, that wasn't funny. It's occasionally funny, but it's not the purpose. Yeah, yeah. There's a line in one of my songs about underage Jersey girls, which that hasn't aged well. But I mean, I was like fucking 21 at the time when i wrote it and it's like i only wrote that song because the record was super depressing all the way through and i was like oh this is too depressing i didn't i hadn't figured out at that time you're into like underage georgia

girls i have no idea i have no i have no idea what you're talking about. I did not fucking just walk right the fuck into that. Pipe down over there, Mitchell. Jesus Christ. The fuck? God damn it. I talked over your fucking punchline. You're my fucking friend, you asshole. I know.

It was a tough breakup, dude. Tough breakup. Tough breakup. If the listener didn't hear the punch breakup, dude. Tough breakup. If the listener didn't hear the punchline, I didn't either because I said something way less funny at the same time, probably louder. Is that James? James? No. Just so we know, to update the challenge, we are at 19 minutes remaining.

We have one full Whopper, one full Whopper Jr. And one full large fry. I think he's going to do it. Rowley! Rowley! He's two-thirds of the way done. This is way farther than I thought he would be. He looks hungry.

He's already a champion. He looks hungry. The kid looks hungry, Brett. I think he's going to do it. You're an athlete, Kenny. He's already a champion. He looks hungry. The kid looks hungry, Brett. I think he's going to do it. You're an athlete, Kenny. He's rounding third and heading for home. Stop right there. Kenny.

I got a note right now. Before I go any further. Kenny, someone in the peanut gallery should be taking pictures of Kenny's face as it drifts in and out of. It's like the two masks of tragedy and tragedy. I was chatting with Joby. We couldn't work out whether it'd be the sugar or the salt that would kill him. Yes. That's why I went with the awful flavored soda rather than.

That would have been like. You had an orange drink or something? 88 ounces of fucking... There's plenty left. The Mellow Yellow. Oh, that's right. The Mellow Yellow. Would that help if you got some Mellow Yellow?

I don't know. There's no way he's going to finish. Kenny, if you had to pick between bacon and chocolate or ranch dressing soda, what do you pick? Or do you want to just go go pick a new one blind i i think you need to finish your first before you get there yeah you do have to finish one and that's regardless of whether you finish the challenge you have to what were the stakes you're almost there there's no stakes that's no he had to pay for the 24 meal if. If he wins, he gets a lifetime supply of Burger King.

How much was it on the coupon for the discount? I have no idea. Half that price. It was like 12 bucks. Half that price. So it was like $12. It's a good deal. If I could get that in veggie burgers and onion rings, I would do it. I'd do it.

This is a lesson. Never chase your dreams. I'd do it. This is a lesson. Never chase your dreams. Wait, Brett, you just said you would do that in veggie burgers. I wouldn't eat it all in an hour, but I would buy that for $12. I would buy six veggie burgers.

Well, they're cheap. That's the thing about Burger King food. You can leave it in your trunk for a week. Hey, why do you want this for a week? That's something that as a vegetarian you get used to anyway because all veggie burgers are just some sort of soy paste smashed down. So, yeah, they last forever. I just caught sight of Kenny in the fucking monitor. I thought he was a corpse.

Who's the dead guy? Another one. Kenny, you could just... You're almost there, bro. The victory is yours to hold, dude. the dead guy. Another one. Oh. You can do it. You're almost there, bro. The victory is yours to hold, dude. It's like almost there. This is like... Your lump's getting smaller. Keep doing it. He's cured.

The burger doctor. This is like running 25 miles and then tapping out on the last mile. You've almost completed the fucking marathon. You have no idea how hard my heart's pounding right now. Someone check his heart. Don't we have stethoscopes? We should have some kind of... Did he sign a

waiver? The best part is that this isn't live, so if he does die, we can just erase this podcast and bury him in New York. Hey, Kenny, can you get on the mic and say, I love this meal so much, I'm going to leave the country

and never be seen again. What's your Facebook login? Today's date on the... Tap out, dude. Tap out. He's still got time. No, he's got time 15 minutes remain okay brett erickson you have 15 minutes to tell us some uh brian hennigan dirt because he doesn't listen to the podcast so uh and mitchell might want to jump on this too because this happened at the one day on the way to hot yoga we were at the comedy comedy store a couple weeks ago with...

Carrie Mitchell was working in the back and I was working in the basement. Tell people what you do so they can tune in. I work in the podcast studio and the live stream studio. We also do some Twitch stuff. At the comedy store?

Check out the comedy store channel on Twitch. We have a lot of fun, funky, weird shit there. But I ran into Joe Rogan and I was chatting with him for a minute, and then I mentioned that Kerry Mitchell was in the back bar, and that he could hide back there. So he's like, oh, fuck, yeah, let's go back there. So we walked back there, and who was already in there but Brian Hennigan

and his lovely maiden Aubrey. Aubrey. And they started up a conversation. Oh, no. Hennigan goes, and my girlfriend, what's her name? Aubrey. Aubrey. No, he actually did that.

Didn't you remember? He's like, and my girlfriend, what's her name? And then later in the conversation, he goes, Aubrey, that's it. And this is after many months. He's spending his Thanksgiving at her family's house right now. He sure is. so we're all back there we're talking and uh whatever i mean joe you know joe like he'll talk about anything and he'll know some stuff about it so personable it's a very easy to talk to the conversation is

is it's happening like it's going fast and at some point mitchell might do a better job of setting this up but well this was the deal everyone came in a vip everybody's hanging out rogan's so approachable and so sweet right and talking with hennigan chatting up the pacer and how to sell that and rogan was like happy to retweet it blah blah blah and throughout the conversation, Aubrey's just kind of lost. And I will say that we had a couple bottles of wine. We were all pretty drunk. Before they went, her and Hennigan went out to eat and drink further, and we went to the store to go work.

So cut to by the time this all develops. We don't always go to work drunk, but it helps. Right. So by the time this develops. But we try. So, you know, everyone's's chit chatty and everything and then it comes to a point where rogan asked her a question and aubrey was like aubrey was like uh i don't know anything i don't know i don't know nothing about nothing which just came off

really wrong like it was a sweet like i am not in the industry whatever but it just the way she said it made her seem like so cut to eventually eventually let me just interject rogan in his angry days yeah for childbirth and marriage yeah he would go apoplectic the opposite way where if some chick is talking like she knows everything what what the fuck what do you know professional hot chick what the fuck are you what do you do what the fuck so i would oh he was sweet at the beginning of the story i would yes oh rogan's gonna say oh thanks for knowing that you don't know nothing. But know I'm wrong. I mean, he definitely didn't. I mean, he was sweet the entire time. It didn't affect him at all.

He was like, oh, that's, you know, he was nice to her. But he asked her a question. I think it was something, we were talking about like Debbie Gibson or something. And he asked if she knew, because she's so young. I just looked over at Mishka for people not watching. She's not that young, bro. She's not Georgia Young. Not Georgia Young.

But he asked Aubrey if she knew who Debbie Gibson was, and she didn't. And that's kind of how the whole thing started. And then Aubrey ended up saying, I don't know anything about anything. Stop talking to me. Yeah, it was kind of cute. But then it rattled her cute Joe was super sweet but eventually again we were I was a little too drunk to remember how we got there

but eventually she said to Joe she's like oh you look just like the guy from Fear Factor and we all laughed about that for a while she meant it and then the next day so the next day so she ended up like really drunk and brian brian took her like they left yeah yeah it was a thing they left and she had like a night where like she was throwing up brian had to take care

of her into the bathtub she was like trying to take a piss sorry. Fell into the bathtub. She was like... Trying to take a piss. Sorry. Stop. Well, I mean... Things happen. We're all good like that, right? I mean... Brian took good care of her and everything was fine. But the next day, he was giving her shit about it.

He was like, I can't believe that you told Joe Rogan he looks like the guy from Fear Factor. And she said, but he does! All right. Let's go with that.

She is not wrong. Not a similarity. I thought this was going to be something far more scandalous when you touched me with the story. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I set it up wrongly. No, everybody looked at me when I said she fell into the bathtub, so I quit there.

Oh, yeah, Tracy put the kibosh on the rest of the story. We've certainly been more blackouts than her. Carrie Mitchell and I on Sunday night couldn't remember how we got home from the comedy store. I didn't have my phone anymore. So that was an issue. And then we just had to go on Gmail to find our Uber. For the second time this week.

As I would say, Gmail to find our Uber. For the second time this week. Been brutal. As I would say, as your mentor, the fact that you remember not remembering how you got home is a good sign. Yeah, good. Because I wouldn't remember. Don't you remember you didn't remember how you got home? Now they send you emails.

Yeah. I looked at my email i'm like we took a fucking uber at 3 30 in the morning the store closes at two what were we doing for an hour and a half and then the best part is two days later i have to wait for the uber guy to come deliver the phone back he didn't look familiar to me at one fucking iota like let's meet again he was a gentleman he didn't say anything he handed us the phone we gave him a 25 cash reward and it was all everything was quiet it was no eye contact beat it five stars bro nice work yeah i played that guy in henry

phillips movie uh by the way while you were telling this story and i didn't know where it was going, I was thinking that with your sleeves and those reading glasses, you look like Jamie Kilstein. Because you're in a short chair. I can be annoying. We have eight minutes left in the Castle Rock County. He's finishing the third roadie. Third Whopper Junior's down.

We have one giant Whopper left and an entire plate of French fries. He needs to put all those fries on that burger. Let's get down to business. Mash it into a ball. Come on, man. Make it into a long snake. Kenny, I don't even think it was on a podcast.

He was just doing it because he wanted to lick dog do where Joby gave him the hottest pepper. It's the Carolina Reaper. Oh, yeah. It's hotter than a ghost pepper. It's the hottest pepper. And he ate that just for fun out during football.

Dare me. Dare me. Pussying up on some burgers now. He did rather well I sent Kenny a message after watching the video I said well done son You did good I would just like to say that

I don't want to break protocol or rules here But I feel like if the hour is up But he's still going I feel like out of kindness We should let him continue Who are you? Yeah, who is this guy? An hour is too long. He should have finished a while ago.

We were going to do 30 minutes. He was texting in the first 10 minutes. Oh, he's been working hard back here. He should have been shoveling that stuff. He's not even bringing a sweat. Hey, Backdoor Mike is here. Backdoor Mike, it's your first Thanksgiving without your pops around. Uncle Mike is here. Backdoor Mike, it's your first Thanksgiving without your pops around.

Uncle Bill is gone. But you are a licensed and accredited EMT and doctor. So can you go check? He says his heart rate is going fast. Can you? Right up his butt. He's going to die. right up his butt yeah he's gonna die for the listener back to our mic just licked his finger like he was gonna put it up a dog's ass which you've actually stopped dog fights by doing that

just so you can share the mic just different finger i used the thumb, actually, for that one. You know the picture on the internet with a snake that has tried to eat an alligator and then burst? And the alligator's legs are sticking. Just be careful. Proclivities when it comes to porn. I've never seen that. I think I've seen the snake eating an alligator. Yeah, yeah.

No, I never saw that one. Seriously, put your hand on his chest. I wasn't kidding. He was saying, my heart's going really fast. There were some DJs who actually, I think, jail well they could there was a there was a radio contest of water no they drank they drank as whoever drank the most water won a car and someone died from i think it's hypoxia hypoxia yeah playstation oh playstation that's it some woman died yeah there was a radio station in the uk back in my hometown of birmingham and they'd done a challenge a morning challenge with people sitting on dry ice

oh no and how long you could do that and then they all i've fucked that girl burns and it just destroyed all the flesh yeah necrotize the flesh yeah yeah they didn't go well do they wear pants or yeah yeah they're in pants, but it's just so cold. It just so cold it destroys your nerve endings. So they were doing it, and the last one to get up. It's not you, it's me. Well, you're really dry. No, it's not you, it's me.

I did a radio station contest. You sure? What if I spit on it, it'll just absorb it. Like a desert cat. But please say that's good for it. The interesting thing is I won a radio contest too. That's how I got to fuck you.

If I could just get it through your rubberized labia. All right. How much time is left on this one? Four minutes fifteen. If I could just get it through your rubberized labia. All right, how much time is left on this one? Four minutes. Four minutes. Fifteen. That's a long ways to go. He's got to sprint now.

Come on, Camo. Come on. You're almost there. He first came up with this months ago. He should have been training for this. He did. He trained by not eating. Which shrinks your stomach.

Yeah, exactly. Come on. Now Mishka's taking position as a coach? We make this into a funnel. If this was... If he were black, you'd lose a fucking match for this. Kenny, you could...

Serena Williams. Kenny, you can still stuff it up during the match. No. Technically, you've ingested it. Jam it into your face. You don't have to swallow it. Just all of it. Oh, Kenny's making a funnel.

He's going to try to force it into Kenny's head. Come on, Kenny. It's Thanksgiving. Kenny foie gras. Kenny foie gras. That's good. He's done. I'm helping.

I'm helping. You're done when you vomit in that pail. That's the soda. And I'm paying for the pail. Buffalo wing soda. Oh, he's going to the last burger. Oh, he's still got a burger left. Come on, Kenny, you can do it.

Wait, finish your other burger. You know what you need is the ranch dressing soda to go with this buffalo wing soda. Just eat the patsy first. Oh, he's... Yeah, the breadatsy first. Eat the patsy first. Oh, he's... Yeah, the bread's the filler. Two minutes and 54 seconds left.

Just force it down. Just force it down. Three minutes. You got it. When I was like 17 years old, I had a job at a... overnight at a donut shop making the donuts. Time to make the donuts.

And never ate donuts again. And hopefully this is a warning to both Kenny and the listener to never eat at Burger King because it's such ripe shit. It is filth. It's racist. Wops. Is this all Burger Kings or just the Biz Beagle? It's all Burger Kings.

You came in late, Mike. He's talked shit about this. You tapping? What was that, Ken? Oh, he's laying his head down to eat fries. Oh, he's trying to get his stomach higher than his mouth. higher than his mouth. Kenny, this was my idea.

Maybe that's a title for the podcast. This Thanksgiving podcast was Kenny's idea. 140 left. Wait, that's it. No, no, he's got a fucking minute 35 minute 35 left I can't

there's no rally left have a bum finish him with a flourish come on at least start eating force my stomach's killing me it hurts

it hurts you can puke as soon as you're done you're an hour hour in almost pain hurts pain hurts pain hurts that's the name You're an hour in almost. Pain hurts. Pain hurts.

Pain hurts. That's the name of the podcast. If we sell out a Chad Shanks shirt, the next one is going to be Kenny's face on a shirt that says, Pain hurts. One minute to go. One minute to go one minute to go you can do it don't you know the classic line from roadhouse

look at him go keep going buddy almost there positivity isn't working let's go for the shame angle he's choking that guy I might be at the front row at a Gallagher show and not even realize it. I just realized.

Oh, yeah. He's got a bucket. Wash it down a little bit. There's your reward. 30 seconds. You can do it, baby. It goes well with the buffalo. This is it.

Oh, geez. Oh, no. Right there. Oh, God. Get that soda out of the way. No. I was on record when he first brought it up to not ever do this to him. You got it.

Vom. Ten. Vom. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five.

Four. Three. Two. One. Is he puking? No. He's spitting it out. Oh, he might be.

He might be puking. He's thinking about it. Hey, I just want to take a moment to share Happy Thanksgiving with the entire world because we're not on terrestrial radio, so you can get this in any starving country. terrestrial radio so you can get this in any starving country where people are listening to kenny chew down food that is unavailable to you that i complain about that kenny dares himself to eat as much as humanly possible when we have more food that than is humanly possible to eat tomorrow on thanksgiving and i don't know why a caravan of people would be at our border right now it's also worth he's on the lowest echelon of economic yeah he's the broke guy in the room

eating as much as humanly possible and And he's our stooge, our Gal Friday that can still eat all the stuff in the world. He's our one-man caravan. Hang on, we're going to close this out. We have a call in. We're going to close out the podcast. Morgan Murphy, you don't know you're on the podcast,

but you are. Kenny just tried to eat that family pack of Burger King. You know how he talks shit about that? Mm-hmm. Yeah, he just... I don't, but I would imagine if it's a thing, you would talk shit about it. Yeah, well, he's been trying to get us to dare him to do this for months,

where he just tried to eat three Whoppers, three Rodeo cheeseburgers, three orders of fries, and a buffalo wing flavored soda in an hour. And he came real close. He came real close. Do you have any... These are the updates I call for, so thank you. And hi, Kenny.

Kenny waved. He can't talk. No, I think he's signaling for help. He might have slopped his cyst at you. He's not breathing anymore. I'm just saying, when you get back to Bisbee, there's going to be leftovers in your fridge. Let's move to the sit-ups portion of the show.

We're wrapping up the podcast. I'll call you when I'm done. All right. Have a great wrap-up. I hope it's clean. So far, so clean, and that's not what we wanted. We wanted exhale. I guess, yeah.

All right. All right. Bye. I love you. Bye. All right. Well, that's a podcast. Sorry, Kenny couldn't achieve vomit for all of our listening pleasure,

but he'll be hurting in the morning. Maybe we leave the podcast stuff up for the morning so he can tell us how his... Well, you say it's the night before Thanksgiving, but if we stay up, it's the morning of Thanksgiving. That's the truth. I'd like to thank everyone. Greg Chaley, Brett Erickson,

Jonathan Short, back to our Mike, Butternut, Castle Rock, Kenny, Mishka, our faithful bartender Tracy, Bingo, my gal pal,

Jen, who actually made it out of the house for the first time in years. She's a shut-in. Just Jen. It's a special time of the year, and give thanks for the people that you love, even if you force-feed them to possibly their death.

That's what this holiday spirit is all about. Thank you. And we're going to close out on a very special song. Baby, don't put no more baking powder in your bread, you see. Cause your biscuits is plenty tall enough for me. Baby, I don't want no more sugar in your Jell-O, you see. Cause your Jell-O is plenty sweet enough for me Some men like lunch meat

And some they like so tough Some men don't care for biscuits They like the doggone big fat bomb But baby don't put no more baking powder In your bread you'll see Cause your two biscuits Is plenty big enough for me But baby, don't put no more baking powder in your bread, you see. Cause your two biscuits is plenty big enough for me. Thank you. I don't want no more bacon patties and your bread, you see Cause your biscuits is plenty tall enough for me Baby, don't put no more sugar in your Jolly Roll, you see

Cause your Jolly Roll is plenty sweet enough for me There's some men, you know they're straight Some crickets will bow their necks Some men don't like bunging biscuits like the dog-gone-flat-bat-egg-cay But baby, don't put no more baking powderders and your bread you see call your biscuits is plenty tall enough for me don't we did cocktails cocktails shots that seems silly to me the whole seems contrived and stupid please hold on