The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #289: Phone Booth Fightin' SwapCast in Vegas

Episode Date: December 12, 2018

Doug and the boys meet up with the Phone Booth Fightin' podcast, Frank Mir and Richard “Big Dick” Hunter, to break down Richard's first MMA fight. Thanks to Syndicate MMA for throwing the event and the No Regrets Bar in Vegas for hosting the after party. Email your questions for the podcast to [e-mail] Dec. 1st, 2018 at the No Regrets Bar Las Vegas, NV with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Jobi (@Stanhopescdp), Frank Mir (@thefrankmir), Big Dick Hunter (@RichardHunter), Butch Bradely (@Butch_Bradley ‏), and Austin Aries (@AustinAries). Produced & Edited by Phone Booth Fightin' Podcast. Massaged by ChailleThis episode is sponsored by**[EERO.com](http://www.eero.com/STANHOPE)** - Never think about WiFi again - Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus, visit [http://www.eero.com/STANHOPE](http://www.eero.com/STANHOPE) and at checkout enter Promo Code STANHOPEStanhope Store Merch - New Podcast Coffee Mug and the last of the VHS copies of “Popov Vodka presents Doug Stanhope in the Funhouse”. [http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/](http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/)LINKS -Phone Booth Fightin' Podcast - @phoneboothfight - [http://phoneboothfighting.com/](http://phoneboothfighting.com/)Syndicate MMA, Las Vegas, NV - [https://syndicatemmavegas.com/](https://syndicatemmavegas.com/)No Regrets Bar, Las Vegas, NV - [https://www.yelp.com/biz/no-regrets-bar-las-vegas](https://www.yelp.com/biz/no-regrets-bar-las-vegas)Follow MMA Fighter Roxy Modafferi - @roxyfighterHappy Time Murders DVD - [https://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/The-Happytime-Murders/80238651](https://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/The-Happytime-Murders/80238651)We like what they are doing over at [http://www.FIRRP.org](http://www.FIRRP.org) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - [http://www.innocenceproject.org](http://www.innocenceproject.org)Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast when we last left you on the doug stanhope podcast chaley joe b chad and i had just landed in vegas for the swap cast with our friends at phone boothoth Fighting, Frank Mir and Big Dick Hunter, as well as Big Dick Hunter's first MMA bout at 48 years old as a skinny, long-haired, frail DJ who has trained in MMA. And we were looking forward to the fight and then the swap cast after. You might have already heard this podcast

if you listen to both, but we put ours out in order. So if you've already heard this podcast if you if you listen to both but we put ours out in order so if you've already heard this we're releasing it again as our own because that's what a swap cast is so enjoy this follow-up swap cast right after the fight from las vegas and then next week we will play you the wrap-up of the whole Vegas debacle. It wasn't even a debacle. Nothing stayed in Vegas on this trip. It was a lot of fun, and you'll enjoy the podcast.

But sadly, no one went home with any kind of sense of shame or something we could hold over their heads. Not more than usual. No, actually, yeah, less than usual. Yeah. Less than usual, but, actually, yeah, less than usual. Yeah. Less than usual, but that wouldn't be on a podcast anyway for obvious reasons. So please enjoy Chad Shank, me, Frank Mir, Big Dick Hunter, Butch Bradley. Aries?

Aries, yeah. Fuck, I'm sorry. He's a wrestler. Yeah. Harry's, yeah, fuck, I'm sorry. He's a wrestler. Yeah, and if you saw their podcast, they actually have video, but evidently Chad Shank had his arm and hand in front of most of the camera lens blocking it. If we put a puppet on Chad's arm,

that could have been Frank Mir, because his arm was blocking, like Frank Mir was at the end of the table, and it was unfortunate. But that's the way it goes. And you didn't even know it was being recorded. Yeah, well, they might have video of this that's already gone out, but we have this with added bonus content,

meaning this introduction to what you already heard. Okay, here we go. Enjoy, and you'll hear the follow-up to the entire Vegas vacation next week on Wednesday. Thank you for listening. Alright, check one, two, check one, two. Check, check, check.

This is a SWAT cast, Doug Stanhope. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to grumble. Wow. We are having a swap cast. It's the phone booth fighting podcast and the Doug Stanhope podcast meeting right here at the No Regrets Bar in Las Vegas, Nevada. Nice. Frank Muir will be here eventually. Frank always has a familial errand to run.

Always. And he has a very terse look on his face. Yeah. Well, he's not happy with the way his corner performed earlier. Okay. Let's set up what happened. We'll talk about your corner later. Yeah. Here comes Frank about your corner later. Here comes Frank.

Here comes Frank. One thing you've got to know about Frank Mir is that there is always a familial errand in the mix. Like, this one was a simple one. You just had to walk all the kids into the car and everything. Right, but a lot of times, Frank, there's your mic. It's dealing with, what do we deal with? A lot of, like, Little League games and wrestling practices and all that. You played it right, Doug, because of your cast of characters.

I don't think anybody on your podcast, if they have any kids, they haven't seen them in years, right? Yeah, they were probably aborted. Yeah, sure. I know you've got one on your record. Okay, for our listeners, we are here in Vegas to see Dick Hunter and Frank Mir who do the Phone Booth Fighting podcast. Dick, I know from years you were a radio guy in Dallas. That's how we met. That's how we know each other. We've already done one of these swap casts. That's how we know each other.

We've already done one of these swap casts. But you, for some reason at 48 years old, decided to fight MMA for your first time with Frank Mir, two-time UFC champion. Yeah. Yeah, Frank was my coach. As your corner man. As my corner man. So I did this program. And for our listeners, I think they're already familiar with our crazy Arizona podcasting cousins. But I need to introduce them.

Doug Stanhope, podcast et al. with Chad Shank. And Joby from the Celebrity Death Pool. And my buddy in comedy here, Butch Bradley, who he and I perform together all the time over at the Stratosphere in Vegas. He has a 10 p.m. residency there. Who we know from our L.A. days, your stumbling drunks in West Hollywood. Well, some things haven't changed.

That's true. To set the scene, and why you guys are here, and what happened with me and everything. Five months ago, Frank is two-time UFC heavyweight champion, for your listeners, may not be big MMA fans. That's how he answers his phone.

It's not his fault what you did in there. It not his fault um and so on our phone booth fighting podcast we talk a lot of mixed martial arts that's not everything but it is mma based and so for as long as frank and i have been uh best buddies frank has been the fighter and i have been the comedian commentator and about five months ago i got approached with this offer to do this five-month, five-day week program. I was out of town. Yeah. I was out of town. You were out of town.

I couldn't convince him not to do it. Here we go. And the program was MMA training. And then at the end of five months, you had an actual fight, and that fight took place a couple hours ago in a cage at Syndicate MMA. And we all came up for the fight. Which, by the way, before we go any further, because it'll get lost after we start having a good time,

genuinely, it means a ton to me that you guys came. No, no, on the other hand, we love the fact, it's so thankful that you guys invited us. We're just like, yeah. No, it's awesome. We're blown away. Listen, Frank can tell you, you guys have already done more than my dad ever did in any kind of organized athletics I was a part of.

How many of you heard me bitch about mine? Genuinely. We're blown away. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you guys. So the fight takes place at Syndication MMA. Syndicate MMA.

Syndicate MMA. The mob, you know, the syndicate. If you watch Ray Donovan, imagine if they could afford a real gym. Yeah. It's like that. So it's a big, spacious gym. Bunch of people, bunch of friends and family. It's like open mic night, basically.

Yeah. With concussions. Friends show up to see you do it once. I've heard of some pretty bad open mic nights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's been the nature of my friendship with Frank is this has kind of come full circle.

Because when Frank and I first met, when he found out I did stand-up, he said he had always dreamed of doing stand-up. So I arranged that little fantasy for him. He's now done a handful of sets. And now. I always dreamed of getting knocked out in 10 seconds, but I'm getting ahead of myself. It's usually always Richard introducing me to everything. Yeah. Music, different cultural aspects because I've had a pretty narrow upbringing. Yeah. And this is the first time that now it's something he kind of jumped into my everything. Yeah. Music, different cultural aspects because I've had a pretty narrow upbringing.

Yeah. And this is the first time that now it's something he kind of jumped into my backyard to go ahead and fight. Yeah, it was, well, we'll just, let's explain what happened.

In fact, somebody else explain what happened because I have a vague memory. I should just ask, what was the official fight time? I have it right here. Oh, thank you, Butch. Yeah, sure you did.

Butch has already uploaded it to his Instagram. I think it's like. Oh, thank you, Butch. Yeah, sure you did. Butch has already uploaded it to his Instagram. I think it's like seven seconds. All right. Let's back up, Frank. Let's back up a little bit. I did not look at you with the seven seconds. He's so competitive.

Let's back up to how they chose the fights. Like, you didn't know who you were fighting until the day before. Yesterday morning, I found out. Six seconds, sorry. Sorry, you didn't know who you were fighting until the day before. Yesterday morning I found out. Six seconds, sorry. Sorry, six seconds, sorry. The gate wasn't closed yet. The door wasn't closed. I have the angle.

This is for sale, Frank. This is video footage of your corner coaching. All six seconds of it. That should be the name of the podcast is Spoiler Alert. All six seconds of it. Yeah, Doug, so yes, I mean. That should be the name of the podcast is Spoiler Alert. So what happened was all these people that fought today trained together for five months. They were all on the program. So they did.

The coaches knew along the way who they were going to match up, but they didn't tell the fighters until the morning before because they didn't want it to be weird like in the training or sparring or whatever. So we all had our ideas in mind about who was going to be fighting each other. I'm trying to think of who you pissed off. You're such a nice guy. Your guy was 6'6". Was he 6'6"?

6'7". 6'7". And you are 5'10". 5'10". 5'10". His arm reach was taller than I am. The kicker is he was 6'7". I was 5'10". And he's 21 years younger than me.

He was born, I believe it was the year after I graduated high school. I know. He sends me the picture. I'm all, can I fucking get a do-over? 6'7"? 6'7", 21. The math does equal six seconds. Yeah, right?

I was doing the math of when he graduated high school because 21 years younger, that means you were held back a few years. Oh, no, I graduated on time. Maybe it was two years, but the point is he's a youngster. He's got his whole life ahead of him. He still has hopes and dreams. He's got his whole life ahead of him. He has hopes and dreams. He's got a solid fight record. Yeah, right.

You convinced him he has a career now. You actually probably fucked him worse. He's like, I'm actually good at this. I'm like, hold on a second. Let's not get crazy now. I'm glad you said that, meaning fuck, because we're in a very loud place where I can barely hear across the table, and I want to make this so family unfriendly that some of these people leave. Oh, I see.

So keep saying fucking cocksucker a lot. I will. Don't worry. So my wife comes over and gives me the fucking muskrat look. Muskrat, muskrat. That'll be fine. She's talking to someone. over and gives me the fucking muskrat look. Muskrat, muskrat.

She's talking to someone. So, you know, this was five months in the making, but it was, you know, I mean, I'm thinking about, you know, the moment of realization because, you know, first of all, Frank, and, you know, tell me if I'm wrong,

but I followed the game plan up until I got stopped, right? What? I think you're not remembering what this is. Okay, Frank. What was the game plan to take two steps towards the center of the ring? The game plan was to move forward. Let them lock the gate.

Throw a couple jabs. He was supposed to throw the right hand and then step with his right foot behind it to lock up a clinch. The problem was is that when he did it, and this is the thing about fighting that sucks, the one error that Richard made was he went on the wrong line. When you do that move, you're supposed to attack the lead shoulder. He actually started aiming at the guy's rear shoulder,

which lined him up with his power hand. So now that's a very small detail and you have to have a lot of experience of not freaking out and being in fights to be able to be calm enough to realize you're making that mistake basically you see pro football players do it you see the guy who looks before he catches

the ball because he's known to do that since he's a pop water but all of a sudden you have a guy who's 220 trying to rip your head off. Shit gets a little confusing. Your brain gets a little, you know, you're like, this seems pretty simple. So Richard, yes, was doing the right moves. He just made a slight error, and you know what? That's his fighting.

Also, the guy had like a 42-inch reach advantage. That was his problem. So I don't understand, you know, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, because the guy didn't even really turn his hips over. He was able to throw from the back side. I'm like, you hit it from the other side of the cage. I have to, for the listeners,

after all of this, putting together this trip to come up to see this fight, there's two fights previous. I know this. As they're announcing the decision of the previous fight, there's two fights previous I know this so I go out as they're announcing the decision

of the previous fight I step out to smoke a Marlboro light and I talk to my wife and I come back in and the fight is over yeah like I just went

like right there I just it's not a long way. Fighting and sex, man. Don't blink sometimes. And then, I missed the fight. Yeah. So, I didn't even see the fight. All leading up to this.

Like, we did this whole trip, so, you know, we could all see the fight, but especially Doug. Yeah. He goes out to have a smoke. I saved my best heckles, because there's a lot of children there. If I'm hearing this correctly. I saved my best heckles Because there's a lot of children there If I'm hearing this correctly You gotta do this again You're throwing them out there again Part of the deal with Stan

The contest was who could make you laugh While you were playing Because we were making our early heckles Were family friendly Because there were kids And I heckles. We're family friendly because there were kids. And I had the kids laughing. Oh, duh. Your kids are great.

Oh, my kids are dying. Your kids are fantastic because they were laughing so much. Well, listen. Doug made up for it when I arrived here at No Regrets Bar because he had already commandeered Frank's youngest child, Ronan. Yes. What, five years old, I'm guessing? He's nine. He's nine.

Nine? I don't know. I don't know, kids. Yeah, Doug has no kids. Yeah, that's okay. So he comes up to me, and Doug says, hey, show him, do your impression of Big Dick Hunter. And Ronan just falls to the ground. Like, just dead limp. Yeah, ground. And the funny thing is.

Just dead limp. Yeah, right. No, it's perfect. And by the way, he picked the right beer kid because he's the thespian. He's the performer. That's my artist. Yeah, the other two kids are like the super competitive athletes, and he's the artist. But the funny thing is, Doug, you did that, and I looked over at Frank,

and Frank had a look on his face like, what the fuck? The fuck? Are you kidding? I had a little bit of rage. Yeah. I had to, like, start counting and looking and look. I'm like, oh, shoot. A little bit.

You pulled out a knife. Yeah. To show how you were ready to stab me and your own kid. Yeah, Frank was like, you know, I got to tell you, that wouldn't have gone over well if you'd have done that to me. I told Doug, too, I said I could see him trying to repeat the gag if, you know, Frank had a bad night waking up in the ambulance going, I don't understand, it played so well the first time.

It was a great joke. Oh, my God. This killed in Vegas. I don't understand why I have a concussion now. Well, I am sorry that we didn't give you guys more of a show. You gave us a show. You gave us a great show. What we were going to do, I mean, I had a bunch of heckles.

But one thing. This is funny what he had set up for you to come into. What would you say? Well, no, one of the things I want to ask you seriously, because I was goofing around on the two fights before you, where it's a very silent audience. This is not UFC. This is a gym with a bunch of friends.

When I said open mic, I mean, like, it's friends and family. It's amazing what the alcohol client everybody is. Yeah. I wasn't saying it's shitty fights. I'm saying the audience is friends and family. Yeah. So it's really quiet. So when a coach yells at you, or a

corner man or whoever it is, hey, get up on your feet. Use your hips. Do a 2-3-2. When they're giving you directions, you Do a two, three, two. When they're giving you directions, you as a fighter, Frank, is there any time where you're

thinking, I was going to do that, but now I telegraphed it to another fighter? A hundred percent. In fact, I'm cognitive of that, so sometimes when I coach, I'll call out moves necessarily like, had we had more than six seconds.

I don't necessarily tell Richard what to do, but I'll start saying what the other guy is about to do. Oh, he's loading his right hand. Oh, he's about to throw a jab. Oh, look, he's looking to change levels. Because I know I can read what the guy is doing, especially from a third point of perspective outside. It's easy for me to go, oh, I can

see from your body language what you want to do, and nothing screws it. That's horrible as a fighter. You sit there like, okay, I'm going to throw a one-two in the guy's corner. He's going to throw a one-two. You're like, shut the fuck up, dude. Shut the fuck up. All right, he's looking to change levels. You're like, all right, dude, really?

Come on. You know what I mean? So I do that to harass the other corner. So I do that to harass the other corner. We didn't want to heckle the early fights. Because the first fight, that might have been a kid. It was a 15-year-old kid. It was.

Sebastian? Sebastian was 15. It was good. Oh, no, the girl. Chelsea and Jennifer. Chelsea's a pro. That was a great fight. Chelsea's still an amateur, but she's had fights. Yeah.

Okay, but I think she was not throwing the fight, but she was. She took it easier. Yeah. We had, just to explain, as far as like this was the gamut of, I was at 48, I think the second oldest person in there. There was people all the way. There was one minor, which was Sebastian, but everybody else was kind of in their 20s, stuff like that.

But she did have like, you know, I think there was one mom. I think there was one. Everybody is not trying to achieve some sort of elite amateur status. So, you know, certain fights match certain skill level. Up until your fight, they had just called every fight a draw. They gave them both a medal. So I kind of thought that was kind of the gig. I was like, I guess everybody wins.

Special MMA. They don't want to make anybody feel bad. We were trying to give everybody a participation medal. They could make it to the end. Yeah. Did you get a participation medal? Well, they still gave me one. But I got to be honest with you.

It was 10 minutes later. I looked down. I'm like, what is this thing around my neck? I got no idea. It really did. Oh, my God. Honestly, my two goals for today were, hey, let's not go to the fucking hospital. Honestly, I'm like, I don't want a broken jaw, something sliced.

You know what I mean? This isn't how he makes a living. So if he had some kind of life-altering injury, you know what I mean? Like, oh, for what? You know what I mean? Like, oh, for what? You know what I mean? Like, and that can happen. I mean, even though the rules are set up, you juke when you're shooting a jive. I mean, you run into someone's knee because you dove forward,

and all of a sudden now you crack a vertebrae. You know what I mean? Like, it happens. When you described the rules beforehand, how they were special rules because they were, you know, everybody was just kind of getting into it, so I was I did that mostly for Jen I was a lot less brutal fights that's why yeah I downplayed it a lot did you did so I look at her mom and at first I was kind of making jokes like a guy joke you know like oh here's a Morgan oh shit Jen's there hold on you know it's really not

that dangerous. Most of those dangerous moves are taken out. Yeah. Meanwhile, the small guys that were in there, we were sitting right next to it, and the impact of them slamming each other. I think it was your guy that was kicking the other guy. Yeah, I actually looked around for a second when Jason was inside the Sebastian, the 15-year-old's guard. Here's what happened with that fight.

Jason's had fights. He's had amateur fights. I thought so. He's not a pro, 15-year-old's guard. Here's what happened with that fight. Jason's had fights. He's had amateur fights. He's not a pro, but he knows what he's doing. So they asked him, like, hey, this kid's 15. Don't wipe the floor with him. Can you go out there and take it easy on him? And, you know, if he fights at a 6, you fight at a 7. He didn't do that.

Problem was, and I warned him, I'm like, be prepared, though, that he's not trying to take it easy. Right. So maybe take him down, get on top. Well, all of a sudden, the first round, Jason lost. That kid was putting it on him. That kid was throwing some shots. And then by the time Jason started coming back, he was already a little behind. I'm like, I hate to say it.

I told you so, buddy. I told you so. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's right. This whole taking it easy shit, I don't agree with. You know, go out there. Okay, take it easy.

That's fine. But go ahead and go full blast. Take his back. You know, throw him on the mat. Get in a good position. Don't tear his head off when you're on his chest. Let's get in a good position where we're safe. You can't take it easy when you're in neutral ground.

Both of us throwing at each other because anything can happen. I mean, it's fighting. Little tiny gloves. I didn't know that. You can't take it easy when you're in neutral ground. Both of us throwing at each other because anything can happen. I mean, it's fighting. Little tiny gloves. I didn't know that kid was 15, but he landed three uppercuts. He landed a couple shots and Jason panicked. I was heckling subtly, mostly to your kids who were just right in front of me, and your kids were the only people laughing at my jokes. So funny.

But when that guy was picking the kid up and slamming him. That was pretty enough. He wasn't supposed to do that. That's why I said, if you watch over. I, like, looked over my left shoulder. I'm like, hey, I don't think we're supposed to be doing that, dude. Like, what happened to taking it easy? And I know why he's not.

I'm like, ah, his ego's. Because he was trying to take his head off. And I'm like, without telling him, stop trying to take his head off. Because you're going to look like an asshole. For the listener, imagine where you swing a kid around. Imagine a kid with his legs around your waist and you're spinning him around. Doug, I'm proud of you. We could have gone the porno route on this.

There's a much better pornographic description. I'd say it's still a little gross. Then you slam him to the ground. That's what you want to do to kids. I'm going to play with you. No, I'm going to try to take your head. I'd be heckling and then, bam, I'm like, oh, fuck. This is not funny anymore. At one point in the third round,

that kid caught him in a pretty vicious triangle. He was this close to passing out. I'm looking. I'm like, oh, shit. This is the first time I've been watching MMA on TV triangle yeah yeah and he was this close to passing out i'm looking i'm like oh shit well it was this is the first time i've been watching mma on tv for a long time i've been found this is the first time i've ever seen anything up close oh yeah yeah those guys as small as they were were way more brutal like i can only imagine big guys in there but one of the more brutal moves that uh jason had that kid his head against the cage

and then he just took the top of his head and just drove it yeah right into the center of his face as hard as he could for the whole time while he was doing body shots and i'm like that is fucking beast man we i have to i have to mention this while I was missing the fight with Dick Hunter, God rest his soul. Yeah, seriously. He was a great guy, man, wasn't he? God bless him. He was a great guy. We'll go back to that.

That was what they were going to do to you when you came in. We were all going to treat you like you were dead for like an hour. Oh, yeah. As long as we could make it, be like, tell stories about you. Oh, like walking to church. Yeah. Like, man, he was such a sweet guy. Like, yeah, we were going to take turns hitting on Jennifer.

Consoling her in her moment of grief. We're sorry that you lost Rich. Hey, Jim, let's get out of here. He's gone. Yeah. You like comedy? You like funny guys, right? Come on, let's get out of here. He's gone. You like comedy? You like funny guys, right? But while I was missing the fight, they missed three of the six seconds.

Joby and Chad literally doing this, the old fanning my face over Roxy, Roxanne. I know. I tried to call her. You guys freaked her out. I called her up and I was leaving. I was like, oh shit, I was supposed to tell her to come over. I was like, hey, Roxanna, you know, these guys are cool guys, fans, friends of ours. Come down, just stop by.

We look bad on paper. She's like, yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to make it. I'm like, what the fuck do you got to go do? Come on. I'll tell you what she had to do. I'll tell you what she had the fighter i i'll tell you what she had to do she looked at who it was yeah yeah decided that was not anything was better than what she's a logical human being we're so like huge fans of hers like from invicta you know from the beginning when invicta was like she's a good fighter i like watching her fight she's such

a great rapper yeah because when we started watching her fight She's such a great Great grappler Because when we started Watching her in Invicta She was different And she had like An awkward style And so we're like We're going for her Because that's

And then And then at that point She became our favorite Invicta fighter But we never And then all of a sudden She's in the UFC And we're like

That's an unlikely Story for her to be In the UFC like that So fast And then Don't be surprised Before she's, she fights for the title. Well, they fought for the title because of all the circus dances. Well, I mean, we fight it again, yeah.

Yeah, right. Plug, plug, please follow at Roxy, R-O-X-Y, fighter. Yeah. R-O-X-Y, fighter. And say. Yeah, Roxanne Matafari. We love her. The next day, she showed up when I started the gym

on Monday or Tuesday or whatever. She brought me a package of Japanese snacks and things like treats and a book. Like, oh, thank you so much. I'm like, you know the ticket was free, right? I didn't have to pay nothing for it. But she's like that sweet of a person. The fact that you thought of me, I'm like looking at him, I train with you.

I think of everybody here. But she's like so appreciative. She speaks Japanese. She fought over there. She's a nice level. Tell Roxy that we all love her in Japanese. There's one I know about her right now. You can leave her in your house.

Nothing's going missing. Nothing's going missing. Hang on. I grew up in Vegas. That's a huge. Hennigan's going to tell Roxy that we all love her in Japanese. Right there in that microphone. All right.

Hontoni aimashio. All right. All right. There you go. Did you tell Roxy? I think I have a number for her. But, yeah, well, maybe we can make that introduction. We'll try again.

Before you guys leave town. We've got to tell her that they're not crazy. Yeah, you'll keep an eye on them. I was going to let her know and be like, look, I know they might have been rapey, but you could kick their ass. Don't worry. And I said, we look bad on paper. We're not good people on paper. But when you meet us, like, sure, no, we're actually okay guys. Yeah, yeah.

I was trying to explain that to her, but no, we're not. Yeah. Well, let me say, regardless of the outcome, hands down, I took the award for the most eclectic cheering section. Oh, yes. Because not only did I have the whole Bisbee, Arizona crowd in, the Doug Stanhope clan, of course, my buddy Butch is here, but in a second we've got to get up

pro wrestler Austin Aries, one of the WWE wrestlers, came out to watch as well. So we have him. Hang on, hang on. Everyone, it's very loud in here. Can we move this to the middle of the street? I thought

these were all going to be fans of yours listening, but everyone's having dinner. Yeah. So if you want to do a brief fuck you, no fuck you, where everyone thinks we're about to have a fight. We both stand up, and I yell fuck you, and you go fuck you. You want to go.

Everyone will shut up like a fight's about to happen. And let's just do this as an experiment. Are you with me? I'm just going to stand up and go fuck you when you stand up and say fuck you back. Oh, it's you and me?

But no, everyone in this whole fucking restaurant will shut up. Do you see how I'm pulling my ears out to hear across the table? So do you... You ready? Yeah, yeah. Here we go. You ready, Frank?

No, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Easy. Easy. Easy. All right. All right. And now... I should have told you. I should have warned you. I should have warned you.

Frank. Slightly. You guys laughed. It had to be real. But it is more quiet. Well, listen. It was real. Listen, it was real enough because the woman seated directly behind Joby that he was almost

launched into still has a push beat. Hang on. Hey, this might sound like an awkward interruption to the Swapcast, but we have to throw our own ads in here. And we'll cut back seamlessly, as Chaley always does, as though you never left the conversation. That we couldn't hear most of because it took place in a very crowded restaurant. I'm sure I bitched about it a lot of times. And if I haven't yet, I will later. So here's our sponsors this week chaley

all right a few quick thank yous uh the happy time murders starring melissa mccarthy they sent us not just the movie but they sent us a big gift pack of movie related items and stuff to enjoy the movie with and popcorn and sparkles. They put a lot of effort into it so I could talk about it on the podcast. But like everything else good that gets sent here, it disappeared before I could watch it. Castle Rock

Kenny stole it. Thought I already watched it. Do you know someone there? They just sent it out of the blue? Yeah, they sent it from a friend on Happy Time Murders stationery, but I wanted to see the movie anyway. I just haven't got to it. Kenny said he loved it, but has he

brought it back? No, he keeps forgetting. So, at least you got Castle Rock Kenny's thumbs up. Thank you for the package, and please watch Happy Time Murders. Already it's in video stores. It's wherever you get, it's at Redbox.

That's what we have for a video store, a vending machine. And that's probably where I'm going to have to end up getting it. So that's that. Thank you for that. And Drew Murphy Dick Tits sent us, I guess, what do they call them? Adult comic books. I didn't see it. I knew immediately Bingo would like it.

It's called The Butt That Farted Poop by Buck Huckle. And it's a butt that farts poop with very graphically drawn pictures of a butt farting poop. And it gets you there. It gets a little weird at the end no you're not through all 18 pages yeah it's quick read yeah so thank you for that and uh arrow if you asked me how the internet works i'd say greg chaley He makes the internet work. And I wouldn't be far from wrong. But how Greg Chaley makes the internet work isn't magic. He uses

Arrow. It used to be a lot of work. It used to be a lot more work than it is now. Because I used to have to log into a router to reset the router and do all this stuff. Let me correct you a little bit more. It used to be work. Dude, work dude you used to have to come up here every three days or so and fix something or rewire or unplug or call fucking

customer service and sit there for three hours well they haven't seen you around as much it's the internet i wished we would have had because it really is super simple to install because we basically have created this blanket of Wi-Fi over the three lots that we have right here. And it's all accessible. No one has to worry about it. And we've created these little access points is what they're called. But they're little outposts that have our Wi-Fi signal.

About the size of a big bar of soap. Yeah. Oh, you found one. Well, Bingo saw it and she thought it was a nightlight. I go, no, that's how the internet works. And she said, oh, I thought Greg Chaley made the internet work. It is a nightlight, Doug. You get the Arrow app on your Android or your iOS phone, and you can turn those little beacons. They just plug right into a 110 wall outlet. You can turn on the light to make it be a nightlight that turns on at night. I thought that was going to be my idea that I would sell to Arrow.

They're one step ahead of you. This is great. And the new second generation Arrow with the Arrow beacon, it allows customers to build a Wi-Fi system that's more perfectly tailored to their home. Seriously, Doug, the last one I installed, I wanted you to do it, but you weren't around. It was seven minutes. You basically go into your app, it looks for it, and then you plug it in and it tells you, this isn't a good spot. Move it somewhere else in the room. And you just go through that step-by-step process. Super simple. And we now have all three properties are all covered with one Wi-Fi network. Okay. And I read the AeroPlus. I read the information on this and I get a little concerned. Tell them about that well the

arrow plus is a subscription service and it's designed to provide you uh with simple reliable security that defends all your home's devices against a growing number of threats yeah malware spyware phishing attacks all of which i i've suffered if i wish i could get this on my phone because i have fucking pop-up ads on my phone i don't even look at unsuitable this on my phone because I have fucking pop-up ads on my phone. I don't even look at unsuitable content on my phone, which this can also stop unsuitable content with the Arrow Plus. If you subscribe to the service, you can turn on content blocking.

This is great for families that have kids. That lets you automatically tag sites that contain violent, illegal, or adult content so you can choose for your kids not to be able to view that. All right. And I still view unsuitable content some nights when I'm feeling lonely.

It's very suitable. So it's not going to do that automatically. No. You have to set that. That's what I was concerned. My listeners, a lot of them, watch what other people would call unsuitable content. Well, your unsuitable still works unless you choose otherwise.

Besides the network protection against the malicious stuff, as well as the advanced security and the content blocking, Arrow Plus also includes ad blocking, which gets rid of those annoying ads and pop-ups on all the devices. It stops it where it comes in

to the main routers. Let's face it, Doug, the single router model just doesn't work anymore. We've got a higher demand for bandwidth and it's like putting a light bulb in the living room and asking to light up the master bedroom. You need to have these access points all over so that you're able to actually get full blanket coverage, and that's what Arrow does. You can do it in a few minutes. The app lets you manage your network from the palm of your hand so you know how many

devices are connected at any given point, as well as the internet speed you're getting from your service provider. You can also easily create and share a guest network. Hey, Doug, how many people are here on property right now? Well, at any given point. No, right now. Right now, two. We have 18 connected devices. I just pulled it up right when you said that. 18 connected. I can go through and I can actually look at each one of those devices. And I've started to name them if know who whose device it is so i can tell who's here and who's not do you name them all george foreman so the same way he remembered all 18 of his kids names he just say george and it also shows the uh the devices that we have the beacons as well as the uh the main router and customer support i assume it's good because they're they're

they're touting it but uh if if had to call them, I'd be surprised. It's like the Maytag repairman. They're just sitting around doing nothing. Fire this guy or get a shittier product. Never think about Wi-Fi again. Get $100 off the AeroBase and two beacons package and one year of AeroPlus. Visit aero., and at checkout

enter promo code Stanhope. Eero, because life's too short for bad Wi-Fi. Chaley, let's hump some merch. It's holiday season, and it's time for you to buy some Doug Stanhope shit for your friends and your relatives for the Christmas and the Hanukkah

and the Kwanzaa and whatever you do first of all we get the uh stolen hotel bibles that we've been stocking up on while i haven't been on the road but i have been traveling those are autographed and personalized and sent to you this bible stolen exclusively for your name Here by My Name Here. So those while supplies last, we have new podcast coffee mugs, which I haven't even seen. They're new. Oh, okay.

They're white. Okay, good. Yeah. Good. And, of course, I have my books at the DougStanhope.com store. Got Chad Shank t-shirts. We still have some of the VHS of my last throwaway special, Pop-Off Vodka Presents. Also, we've got the Abortion is Green, White, and in the Banana Cream. I like the Banana Cream.

And we got a couple of podcast shirts, the Pop-Off Vodka shirt, Bingo's book, stickers, gadgets, knickknacks, and, of course, CDs andvds and all that shit so go to dougstandup.com and go to the store and load up your black friday cyber monday whatever the fuck that nonsense is and i hope you're doing it for yourself and not someone else because you have to and now back to the swapcast that's already been released. First of all, since you can't see this, Joby is wearing a vintage... Yes.

When he walked into the Fight Club, we tweeted a picture and someone said, you stole Robert Mugabe's wardrobe. No, it's you're shopping at Robert Mugabe apparel. Really? Who I have on my Deadpool roster. I got that joke because

of Deadpool. Yeah, there were a number of hits on Bush. Frank and I, by the way, quick shout out to the creator of SpongeBob SquarePants because he launched me. I leapfrogged over you, Frank. Oh, nice.

Good job. I'm a solid number four with the Vulture Club now. You had Hellenberg? What was his name? I can't even think of what his name was. Hellenberg. Hillen something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, let's, another thing, too, is there is a guy, you were asking about our listeners. One of our listeners in Portland has heard about me doing this program, has signed up for the one in Portland. He just started about three weeks ago. He's here tonight. He flew in to watch the fight. At some point, we have to

hear, because I'm imagining, you want to talk about second-guessing a decision. I want to know what this guy thinks the next five months of his life are going to be like. Before we bring anybody else out, what time are you going on tonight, Looch? I've got to go soon, so you want me to give my seat up to you?

10 o'clock show at the Stratosphere, Friday to Tuesday, Sunday. I'm thinking maybe you're popping by. I'm popping in. All right, Mr. Frank Mears. I'll be up there. So what did you think of it? Is it something maybe you want to do, Butch? Would you ever jump in there?

I'll do it. I want to do it. Why don't you do it another five months with somebody? I want to fight that Roxy chick. I can see Butch doing really well at it, though, to be honest with you. I don't want to fight that guy, though. I don't know, man. I'm just going to show you some ground skills.

I'm down. I'm ready. Maybe season three is Butch Bradley's season. I feel like it's a dual corner team. I feel like I'll take your information, but every now and then, him yelling out some insanity. If I fought Butch Bradley, there would

be specific rules, no liver punches. To either of us. To either of us. I don't think it delivers when we want to take any more abuse, right? I feel the love. It would be the first ever MMA fight won via cirrhosis.

All jokes aside. Regular corners have an ice bucket. You guys actually, on a side note, know that that's actually a problem for people. Really? If you take, I've trained with guys that do shit that endangers their liver. Between drugs and alcohol, there's party hard. You know, it's Vegas, you know what I mean? And if you touch them there, they're much more susceptible because it's already inflamed and angry.

So all jokes aside, it is actually dangerous to hit a guy to the liver. So are you going to do another five months, another one of these? Actually, I didn't have to do much. Every once in a while I gave Richard some pointers. Frank and I were working outside the program, and I've got to tell you, honestly. It worked out well for you. Well, for as bad as today

sucked, let me tell you something. Here was the scariest moment of the whole thing. It happened about a week ago. I was giving Frank a ride home. I haven't even told you this, Frank. I was giving Frank a ride home from the podcast. And I mean, I had like a real bad strained quad. It was like, you know, old man injuries were coming up during this whole process.

He goes, I strained my one quad and then the other one started hurting too. And I'm like looking at him, I'm like, you know, we don't have to do this. Yeah, I know. But very serious. So I'm giving him a friend, like, you know, you're 48. Like, you know, you've already trained. You've done this shit.

Like, I'd feel bad if, like, you, like, crush a vertebrae or something stupid happens, and now you're limping for free you know what i mean like if i get hurt i could point at my bank account and be like and then you're not gonna feel that bad for me you'd be like frank took that shot yeah but he got paid half a million to do it you're like oh all right you know i'd take fucking that shot for half a million you know yeah whereas i'm like well you took that shot hey so you can't feel your right hand anymore no how much did you get paid for that? I'm like, well, actually, I paid $8,000.

I paid money to show up and have this done to me. Well, I got this sweet medal. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that honestly was the scariest moment of the whole thing was that sobering conversation. No, I appreciate it. Yes. I was very, yeah, Jennifer heard about it.

Because I was concerned. Because the injuries he was telling me that he's having his shoulder. Oh, you know, it's going to be okay. No, that's fine.

He was like, no, Frank was really worried about it. He said I needed to get an MRI. Like, I'm really concerned.

That's Jennifer. Dick Hunter's wife is quadriceps. That's a major injury. I mean, he couldn't even get up from giving Mel his dog food.

See what I mean? And like the last couple months he's played with injuries, and here's my thought process. One, obviously he's as natural as you can be. You know what I mean? The guy drinks a cup of coffee. He's about the only P.E.D. this guy's ever even been in the same room as. And he's 48 years old.

You know what I mean? I'm sitting there going, you know, look, he's an extremely healthy 48-year-old, but I was just nervous as his friend going, fuck, man, like, that's why today my goal was I just don't want to be at the hospital. I don't, you know, stitches I don't mind, but if, you know, we're rearranging necks and, like, pins and needles in his fingers

because he can't feel, like, I'm like, I was nervous. And then the other one was like, oh, as long as, okay, and then when I saw his opponent, I was like, all right, he's not so bad. You know what I mean? No, it's okay. The kid's young. He's athletic. He's much taller.

The kid should win. It'd be really weird if that kid didn't win because he had all the physical attributes on his favor. I'm like, well, I just want to be in there for a couple minutes. You know what I mean? Enjoy it. Nothing worse than winning or losing fast. It sucks in a way.

It really does. I know people think that's stupid, but I. You know, like, nothing worse than winning or losing fast. It sucks in a way. It really does. I know people think that's stupid. But I've been in fights where I've dealt with depression afterwards where, like, my wife, I can't get out of bed for two weeks because I won in 46 seconds. And she's like, what's wrong with you? You won. I'm all, I trained for my life for this, and it lasted for 46 seconds. So win or lose to have. I've done the same thing.

You don't have that release I spent $750 and I came in the first 30 seconds you're like wow I just tossed around there for 6 seconds

and that's why I was talking to you you will never get perfection no you never get on a fight that's why honestly so that's why

martial artists and comedians I think that's why we all kind of relate with each other so well. Have you ever done a set that you like? I don't relate to you at all. You're a fucking psychopath.

Not at all. It's not very similar. I guarantee you, like, there's probably times you've watched yourself on camera go, oh, that wasn't too bad. That looks like shit. That's fucking horrible. And everybody around you is like, dude, that was really good. You're like, I missed my beat here. I should have said that.

Oh, fuck, man. That guy, I should have said that. Ah, fuck, man. I could have said this. And then you're just pissed off. And then if you do knock it out of the park, that's the bare minimum of what you expect. And you don't even make you happy to succeed. I've won titles and not been happy. I'm never happy. I'm just miserable looking at

what I fucked up on. Frank, we talked about this earlier right after the fight, and I was telling you that I've had the opposite where I've had a set that was so good where they fucking hated me

and I walked off proud because I fucking nailed what I wanted to do and fucked the crowd. I've had moments where I felt good about stuff some, but put it this way. The other day, this has already been about four or five months,

I have a new coach, right? New boxing coach. And he's showing me so many things. That's why I've lost so much weight. My flexibility's increased. My stand-up right now is retardedly sick. Good. Off a few adjustments.

But until those adjustments got made, he pointed them out to me. So now I can see them. So now I'm watching myself hit mitts, watching myself spar. And because i can see that i'm not doing what he's like well we need to do this you need to rotate here you lean too far forward you're over your lead leg that's why you keep with shots and i'm watching myself do it we were out of town i was at the uh we're all sitting eating dinner at the table i had john mccarthy there and then my wife looked at it because you had an okay practice and i I looked down. I almost started crying. I'm a full-grown man with children.

I almost started bawling. The coach knew what was going on. He's like, you need to get up and leave. I'm like, no, I'm okay. That's how much I hate myself, is that watching myself on camera makes me so miserable, because I know what it should look like. Well, at your age, when you lose a lot of weight, you just focus on the stretch marks.

Ladies, see with me. Let me just point out. I just thought of this earlier this week because of this fight that's up right now. They're bringing Junior Dos Santos. They're showing clips of your fight with Junior Dos Santos. And I thought that whenever I saw that, I go, man, I bet that fucking sucks for Frank Mir. He's probably put that all behind him, and then all of a sudden they're going, hey, remember

this? I run every fight through my mind. It was every night and day. I go through my head. I think about this. I think about that. That sucks. See?

You know what? Yeah, but that's how you become a beast, man. Maybe that's what it is. Dude, what's the way of the samurai? The way of the warrior. That's how you train. You that's what it is. Dude, what's the way of the samurai? The way of the warrior. That's how you train. You review how you go down. But that's the part where, like, I guess that's why I didn't want my kids to be fighters.

Because I know that, at best, the best sensation I can hope for is just satisfaction. I will never be happy with any accomplishment I ever had. I don't know. I think the guy who fought Hunter is probably feeling pretty happy tonight. That's the problem. That's the problem. That's the problem. I've got too much self-esteem. I mean, I'm...

You've got to let me get this question in. Because you have been doing stand-up comedy. Your worst defeat versus your worst bomb on stage doing stand-up. What repeats in your mind? Ben, I've had more experience. I've been doing it for years, so I've had some bad experiences. So far, my worst experience in stand-up

was actually one of the shows I did with Butch. And actually, I ended up okay. I traded water. I did not get out of the park, but no one else did either. The thing was, everybody else fucking... Well, no. Richard did well.

Obviously, Butch fucking killed it. Butch kills it every time. The fucking son of a fucking, well, no. Richard did well. Obviously, Butch fucking killed it. Butch kills it every time. The fucking son of a bitch. No, no. But no. There's the one comedian that acts like the old black man. He does that whole set. Yeah.

He's really fucking good. He's funny. He's up there before me. Now, two or three other comedians that were decent all died. But then now he goes up. And I'm expecting, okay, now this motherfucker knows what he's doing i watched him drown for two and three minutes like die just dying out there he's like addressing the crowd like yo are you guys not here to like fucking laugh like and like cut his set short and left the stage and they're like

up next frank man like oh are you serious The professional just got his ass kicked, and now me, the little hobby fucking part-timer is going to walk up there? I'm fucked. And also, this was not an MMA crowd. So it's not like he had built in. It wasn't a comedy crowd. Watch your backs. Hey, let's, Bush, tell everybody where they can follow you and all that kind of stuff.

Catch me on Instagram, Facebook, BushBradleyComedy.com. And, yeah, come by the Stratosphere LA Comedy Club, Friday to Tuesday. Sunday night, yeah. Sunday night, Richard, Frank, and we'll get our boy Doug Stanhope. Doug's got to get out there. I will be there. I will be there. I will be there drunk after football.

Thanks for having me, guys. I love you, Rich. Great job. Thank you for being here. If you all ever want to see what happened, I have it on my phone. Yeah, yeah. I'll look on your Instagram. I'm sure it'll be viral.

I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral.

I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. I'm sure it'll be viral. Yeah. All right. So we're bringing our buddy Austin Aries over. Let's put him in the middle right here. Okay?

Watch out for the camera right there. There we go. Okay. Butch Bradley. So let me make introductions here real quick. This is a friend of mine, friend of Frank's. He's done Phone Booth Fighting podcast with us. He lives here in Las Vegas.

Professional wrestler Austin Aries who has held titles in WWE. I didn't hold any titles there. No titles in WWE. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I pro wrestler of fortune. I thought it was Doug Stanhope earlier. I didn't want to say anything. Oh, okay. With the updated look, I wasn't sure.

Yeah, yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited. The worn out, tired, fucked over from Vegas two days. Well, Austin came to the fights, and I'll have to ask you, Austin, because I know in pro wrestling circles, if a pro wrestler is told they're going to be defeated in six seconds, it generally doesn't go over well in the locker room. I mean, it depends.

I don't get paid by the hour. So, I mean, if I got to do it in six seconds or 60 minutes, the payday is probably going to be the same. So it all depends. But, yeah, I mean, you'd like to, you know, for the prep time, you like to put more in six seconds than when you actually step in the ropes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. James and I were talking on the way here about, man, I'm disappointed.

I'm like, had you had the same outcome but at the end of the third round, I wouldn't be that upset. I wouldn't be upset at all. I'd be like, oh, he got out there, fought. He's not hurt. He lost. You were able to take more out of the experience. We got to get experience.

I'm like, man, he put all those days of being up at 7 in the fucking morning at the gym, and it lasted six hours. That was my thought. My thought wasn't, oh, man, he got knocked out. Because you're an athlete. You know. You put all that work to get in there. You want to get some minutes in there and feel it.

Well, I like how Doug's dating that girl, chasing her, chasing her, chasing her and all of a sudden you get the night and all of a sudden it's like... Especially when it's over in 15 seconds. Yeah, you got six seconds. But in reality, the lady MMA and I have had

a five-month ongoing relationship. This was the first time we went out publicly. Okay, that's gross. We got in a fight beforemonth ongoing relationship. This was the first time we went out publicly. Okay, that's gross. We got in a fight before the drinks arrived. It was pretty cool. We all got to see you get fucked for the first time. And I know I already told you this, but to make it official on air,

I am proud of you, and I told you that. A lot of men, a lot of people, will never step in there and test themselves because it's fucking scary. And on top of that, the guys that do have the courage to at least try to get out there, man, there's a guy in front of you that wants to hurt you. That's not natural to want to go towards pain. No.

You see a fucking lion, most people run the opposite direction, right? It's not a normal human being that goes, well, I'm going to go over there and fucking hit that thing with a stick. And you did. You walked into and, like, you didn't make a mistake because of fear. You just made a mistake from a lack of experience. And you went towards adversity. So, I mean, that in itself is a moral victim.

In my opinion, you know, because as a man, I could be like, well, you manned up. The mistake was almost for coming forward and being too aggressive and too excited as opposed to moving backwards as we talked about earlier. As an out-of-shape, lazy guy, I told you the night before, I'm impressed just the training aspect that you went through is an accomplishment to me. Just showing up is impressive. Yeah, absolutely. That takes a lot. You got my respect. Absolutely. If you wanted to show up in a situation, if it wasn't a watch, you go out there and perform, you got my respect.

Absolutely. Just to show up. Just to show up. Just to show up. you go out there and perform you got my respect absolutely frank frank said this when i walked back in and missed the fight about you he said the great thing is dick went in there a lot of people will like backpedal immediately out of fear where you did the opposite and you rushed in stupidly You did the opposite, and you rushed in stupidly. Right.

Sure. Sure. Well, for a guy that had twice the reach. I didn't do it stupidly. I was like idiotic. I think it was stupid. Fucking Mohan just ran at him. Yeah. No, and I guess I'm proud of you, man.

You want the dedication to show up to go to those training sessions, hurt, go in there. You're not doing it for money. You know what I mean? I mean, come on. I'll be honest. There's times i go to the gym because i know i'm getting paid there's times my fucking knees back shoulder neck you name it i'm sitting there going well i'll circle the you know you go there the doctor they circle the pain area i'll circle like my left wrist like that's what i'm like no that's the only part that doesn't hurt yeah everything else outside the circle hurt trying to save ink here i'm like there are times where it's like, well, this is how I make a living.

I got kids. I'll go and lay with my children and go, this is my motivation to go. Oh, yeah. So the fact you did it just to be a martial artist, that's respectable, man. It really is. Thank you. To your point earlier. Maybe next time they'll give you the 15-year-old kid.

Yeah. Yeah, except he'll be 17 by then. Full beard. Yeah. No, the hardest thing to learn is to accept, again, when someone's trying to punch you or kick you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is to accept it.

I went through that. No, I definitely went through that. In wrestling, that's the hardest thing to break is to actually open up and accept it. You know the guy's not trying to be malicious, but he's going to hit you. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you another weird thing that happened, too, in all this is that through all of the weird things that I've ever been a part of, I mean, career-wise, like, you know, having a radio show

or playing in bands or whatever, by circumstances, I was always the kid. I was always, like, the youngest one, and I was running around with guys older than me. This was the first time, and I didn't even realize it was going to happen until I felt it. I was in that class, and almost all the guys were looking at me like, Sir, are you going to be okay? I wanted to ask you this. Would you feel far worse if you had gotten beaten up by that 15-year-old kid

versus the 6'7 guy that you were already outclassed. Yeah, and I did think about that. It's funny, this is the vanity that plays in a little bit, but when my opponent was picked, I thought, okay, at least this is a guy that when you put his picture on social media, people will be like, okay, I think this is going to be a fight, rather than you know, there's a lot of truth to that, because there's times where like, as a professional

fighter, when they give me opponents, my wife always gets on my ass, she's like, why do you always pick the toughest guy, if they give you a choice, pick the easy motherfucker sometimes, no, here's the problem, the easy motherfucker might catch me too, it's fighting, it's a no win proposition, UFC or Bellator, whatever level we're at, I'm like, he's fucking good if he made it to that we're not

fighting in the backyard somewhere I could be like I'm gonna just I'm gonna dust this dude with one hand behind me so I'm like oh so same thing it's like well do I want to get smoked by a guy that has a couple titles we want to get smoked by the guy that's like has a 50 50 record it's never gonna fight for title and people when you tell them hey I'm fighting so-and-so you're like who who who who that I don't know then you're like, who? Who, who, who? I don't know. And then you show a picture. They're like, yeah, I don't know who that is. You're like, oh, yeah. I don't want my ass kicked by that dude.

Plus, you're going to grow more and learn more if you're facing stiffer competition. Yeah. Win or lose. Right. Absolutely. I see the guys... They said you're a wrestler. Yeah.

And so as a fucking feeb and a proletariat, is that like backyard wrestling? Like Hulk Hogan wrestling. It is. So when you, because you're fucking built. By plants. Yeah, he's a vegan. Oh, you're vegan too? Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Wow, really?

This actually helped me out because... I want to know if he watches these fights going, oh, I can fight for real. I know you're... I don't have that ignorance to me. First of all, I see the work that goes into just stepping in the cage.

I'll say this. Anyone who's stepped from MMA to pro wrestling, they get a new respect for what we do because it's a completely different training and our body's conditioned differently. But conversely, man, what these guys do, what Frank's done... I mean, Mickey Rourke could do it in a movie. I get paid really well to theatrically fight people. I don't know that I'd have to really go in there and fight

someone for real or something. I don't know if it's less... It's just as dangerous. And I think you guys are more dangerous than we are. We're more stupid because we accept it. If Frank's really good, he can get out of there without getting hit. He took one punch. He was done. I got to take at least 12.

You guys do it willingly. Just for his comeback. Yeah, that's the thing. Here's the crazy part about what they do. If you sit there and go, you see that chair? I'm like, yeah, he's going to try to hit you with that chair. Me, as a fighter, I'm going, well, I'm going to do everything I can to avoid that. And you're like, okay, you're going to get hit with this chair

on the head. Be ready for it. Okay, I'll brace for it. So you know it's coming. So you've all seen the movie The Wrestler. How accurate is that movie? I mean, listen, it's, you know, it's been glitzed up,

but there's a part of that reality. Like cutting yourself. There used to be. That doesn't happen so much more because people are aware of it, so it doesn't have as much effect. Listen, that is a very real part of the business or has been historically. I think comedy is the same way, right? I mean, you have the spectrum of your success stories,

and some guys are the lifers that never get that break, and they find themselves at 50, and they've got nothing else to do in life. I mean the actual events. How staged is it? Do you talk beforehand? Listen, I never get in a ring beforehand. I look at it like this. Once you learn how to tango,

you can get on the floor with someone else without a tango and dance. You don't have to go talk about it beforehand. You get in the ring and you do it. And so some people do. Some like a little more produced. There was a specific scene in the wrestler where he goes, I'm going to use barbed wire. Is that cool

with you? You have a general idea what the scene is going to be. A lot of times it's improv. You're not going to pull out barbed wire on a guy beforehand. That was a specific scene in the wrestler where they go, is it cool if I do this?

Wait a minute. Can I back up and ask where wrestlers keep their barbed wire? More shots than you've taken so far. I'm pretty sure it would be a death sentence in your sport. But do you ever have an issue where, like, guys all of a sudden, mid-match, lose their shit and they're like, yo, dude, fucking relax. We're like, it's a work. No, because I've done that before training.

Interesting you should ask. I'm drilling with somebody and all of a sudden I'm like, yo, you know fucking relax. We're like, it's a work. No, because I've done that before training. Interesting you should ask. I'm drilling with somebody and all of a sudden I'm like, yo, you know we're drilling, asshole. Stop it. You know what I'm trying to do. What are you doing? There are times where you have to ask or you wonder if there's some other intention behind what's going on. Right. There was one match.

I'll say this. And again, I'm not a mixed martial arts guy, so my repertoire is limited, but I was going into a title match, and my opponent, there were some issues with his contract, and he was double-talking between this promotion and another promotion, telling each that he wasn't under a deal, and trying to work both ways. There was some bad blood between the promotions, and I had to defend the world title against him.

Now, we knew I was supposed to retain the title, but I wasn't sure this guy was going to, you know... Play along. Exactly. So I told the ref beforehand, I said, so this is the finish. However, if you see me put him in a guillotine, that's the fucking finish and ring the bell. Because if I sense anything's going awry, I'm going to just slap that on and squeeze

until the bell rings and we're done. Because we're just going to get out of there. That happens now once, once or twice maybe in a decade or two. I can imagine if you're known as that guy, no one's going to work with you. And that guy right now doesn't work anymore. You don't want that reputation. And even with fighting, man, there's a code, I think. You're going there to compete and you want to win.

Absolutely. And you want to hurt the guy to win, but there's no maliciousness i'm not trying to take your career away i'm not trying to i'm not trying to take away your chance to make money wrestling's the same way we're gonna go out there and be physical but we got to trust each other you know we actually have a fighter and that's i won't even say his name but i'm sure most mma fans will know who i'm talking about but he's notoriously known for that locking on submissions and then his opponent's tapping but just a little extra referees jumping on him trying to pull him will know who I'm talking about. But he's notoriously known for that, locking on submissions. And then his opponent's tapping.

But just a little extra. The referee's jumping on him, trying to pull him off. And all of a sudden, he's not letting go. And in my brain, I've always thought, like, wow, if I'm cornering somebody and you did that to my guy, fuck the fight. I'm talking to the cage. It's a fight. I'm beating your ass.

I'm going to go find your girl, beat her ass. Everybody's getting their ass whooped now. That's uncalled for. I didn't know she had a good counter. She put me in a Umbra Palada. The long legs are hers. Isn't that what Dana White is trying to promote now in the UFC? Is WWE.

Fake fucking, I'm jumping over the fucking ring. Conor McGregor shit. There's an entertainment value. At least in the talk to the fight. I'll say this about pro wrestling locker rooms. This is the thing that's always impressed me, is when you see two guys who are good at what they do, their ability to walk through the stages of what they're going to put on out there,

and sometimes it's a 20-minute, 30-minute match, is incredible. And not painting with a broad brush, but sometimes I've met people and I've thought, well, you know, this isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but there is a savant-like gift when it comes to – It is to sit right next to the guy. Yeah, no, no, not at you. Well, the fun point – You get those guys that start going, okay, it's this and it's this and it's this.

Frank, it would be like if you could take a five – one of your five-round decision fights, 48-47 decision, and name each move, each nuance that's going to happen over that 25 minutes, some of the best guys can do that. It's incredible. Well, I think the problem is... I just want to take a moment that even after a six-second knockout, he could put that many big words together in a row.

It gives us all hope. Savant-like nuance. He said all the words. That was inside the cage. That was a fucking fucked up question to ask somebody. Tell him what happened, Frank. Take us right after the knockout.

His eyes were open the whole time. He got caught with the right hand. Walked in or looping right. He walked into it because he walked towards the right shoulder. The guy faded to his left. He got caught with the right hand, walked in or looping right. He walked into it because he walked towards the right shoulder. The guy faded to his left, caught him with the right hook. Richard lost his sense of balance. His hands go to the mat, knees go to the mat. Dick goes down.

Dick goes down. Glass jaw dick. If it was a real amateur fight, like a classic or pros, they wouldn't have stopped that. They would have let the other guy jump on him and finish him. Or an opportunity for Richard maybe to fight back. If they were pros, they wouldn't have stopped that. They would have let the other guy jump on him and finish him, you know, or an opportunity for Richard maybe to fight back. But because of the nature of what it is, they're very cautious. One guy gets stunned, the fight's over.

So they stop it, don't even let it go any further. And I know he's fine, but now I'm just checking with him, like, hey, you know where you're at? Yeah, I'm a syndicate. All right, you know what day it is? Yeah, it's Saturday. Cool. And I'm sitting there in my head, I'm like, fuck, you did better at this than I do.

Because I remember one time I got asked these questions. And I was like, what hotel are we at? I could have looked around. I'm like, MGM. And my dad's looking at me like shaking his head like, no. We're at Mandalay Bay, dude. Vice versa. I forgot now.

And so I'm looking. I'm like, fuck, man. He's answering these questions too well. All right. What time is it? You don't fucking don't have a watch on. How the fuck do you know what time it is? He's all, yeah, it's like 2.30, 3 o'clock. I'm like, you son of a bitch. How the fuck do you know what time it is? It's like 2.30, 3 o'clock.

I'm like, you son of a bitch. How the fuck did you know? I've got to be honest with you. I'll tell you how I knew. And it wasn't because I went, well, we started the fights at 2. This is the third fight. Minus six seconds. Yeah, exactly.

But the fact you're doing that math, I knew he was okay. He was physically okay. Well, and the thing is, too, it's like when I realized Frank's in front of me asking those questions, it's one of those moments where it's like I don't realize it. I don't know exactly how we got here, but however we did, it ain't good. Like the fact that this conversation is happening. I'm just not going to have to argue with you. I've been in the locker room.

It wasn't my guy, but I was associated with the corner. This way the guy doesn't get like a fucking permanent ban. But the guy got knocked out. So we get him in the locker room and I wasn't his corner man, but I was there watching and my trainers, one of them was his corner man. So we get him in the locker room. We're in the backstage and all of a sudden the guy's looking around. He's like,

alright. He stands up like he's ready to go. We're all looking like, sit the fuck down. So we're trying to take his gloves off. What are you taking my gloves off for? Fights over with him. He goes, no, it's not. I haven't fought yet. Oh, no.

He had no idea. No, dude. No. And then now everybody's trying to very gingerly explain to this guy, bro, you got caught. It happened. I think that being a fighter is a lot like my team being drunk. No, no. You can't drive over it got so bad that finally one of the other guys that was also watching busted out the cell phone yo here's the video of the fight buddy and

so now he's watching it now he's shaking his head no no this ain't real i'm like and i'm looking around like okay i'm leaving before a commissioner sees this. He might get a fucking permanent ban. I don't even want to be in the room. I'm like, wow. So, I mean, like, sometimes it's bad. That memory loss can be horrible. You're sitting there telling a guy who's trained for 12 weeks for something, and now he doesn't even remember it.

And you're like, no, you got knocked out. No, the fuck I did. It's like, dude, I got it on video right here. You know what I mean? Like, stop fighting with me. No, no. Get my gloves on. I'm going out there.

I'm like, ah, shit. Let's go to Aries. I was going to go to Aries. Go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to ask something that went fucked up in wrestling, which is quote unquote staged that went completely awry. Something similar to what you were talking about.

Early in my career, I went to do a moonsault from the rope to the outside of the ring. I overshot my opponent. Oh, shit, really? It was a buddy of mine. I watched the video. It goes like this. Oh, no. He just watches me fly over.

I hit the screen that was down. Slid down, knocked myself out on the concrete. So my opponent rolled me back in the ring. I'm out. He like, he splashes me as gingerly as possible. Like barely touches me, covers me one,

two, three matches over, but it was a two out of three falls match. So we're the first fall, you know, big Brody Hooper. Okay. And now I kind of,

you know, some people run the ring and check on me and now I kind of come to, and I don't know what's going on. They're like, all right, we're going to stop the match. And I grabbed the, I grabbed the ref's leg. So what are you, what are you talking about? Ring the fucking bell. Tell him to get on me. Yeah I kind of come to and I don't know what's going on they're like all right we're gonna stop the match and I grabbed it I grabbed the ref's leg so what are you talking about ring the

fucking bell tell him to get on me yeah I mean the refs he's inexperienced he's just okay he rings the bell and we we did two more falls I'm concussed as I tried to do the blading thing for the first time ever my career awful attempt I thought I got myself good it was a little kitten that scratched me afterwards it's probably good I didn't need to lose blood after being concussed. Well, I was going to ask you if you cut yourself. It's like, yeah, slice yourself. Only a few times. My favorite was right in front of my mother.

Oh. She was in there. Yeah. I always cut myself. Yeah. Well, she didn't know. She didn't know. But yeah.

Shit wrestlers only say. We had that where referees had to fight off fighters that get concussed. Because they don't know. It's something I do sometimes after a match. That's the thing where guys go, I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm like, homie, you were just fighting the ref for the last minute and a half. You're not okay.

You were fighting a guy who was shirtless with gloves on. Now you're fighting a guy dressed in black. I roll up a few referees in small packages after the bout trying to beat them, not knowing what the hell was going on. Now you're fighting a guy dressed in black. I roll up a few referees in small packages after the bout, trying to beat them, not knowing what the hell was going on. Just instinctually, like, the guys check out and I grab them for a small package. Go ahead. The same way people watch

NASCAR for the crashes, I like watching MMA for the guys that try to fight the ref. No, the worst knockout I ever saw. In fact, it retired me for a good minute. I'm sitting there going, I'm done fighting. Fuck this. I went to the Affliction show because Fedor was fighting Arlovsky.

I wanted to see. Because, you know, both guys are potential future opponents. So on the card was Vitor Belfort, and he was fighting Matt Lindling. Now, Matt Lindling at the time was one of the best middleweights in the world, top five. Fucking guy was a killer. Silver medalist in the Olympics, good wrestler. And then Vito Belfort, who physically was one of the most gifted fighters of all time,

but kind of a mental midget at times. He didn't make mistakes. Well, no confidence in himself, really. I mean, not a smart guy, but just no confidence. It was the craziest thing to see a guy that gifted scared to death as much as he was scared. So him and Matt Lindner are going to fight. Well, all of a sudden, Vitor became Vitor, where he's either going to kill you or die.

And he caught fucking Lindland with a shot, dropped Matt. Then when Matt's on the mat, before the referee can get there, he hits him with like three or four more hammer fists. So now Matt Lindland's asleep. He's out, cold. He comes to, and he's trying to get up. This corner, everybody's trying to hold him down like dude Relax, relax. Relax. He has like one like his mouthpiece jammed between his lips because he looks like this Yeah, and he's making like this baby deer at this point for the listener Frank mirror is making

YouTube you want to see Appropriate. And they're trying to hold him down, and it looks bad. He's not home, but the lights are on. You know, it's like, you know. And so I look over, and I was sitting with Joe Silva. I'm like, oh, man, I'm about to call my dad real quick, because my dad was always in my corner.

He's like, if that ever happens to me, just jump the fuck on me and, like, cover me with a towel. Yeah. Because i'm like i'm just looking at him like oh my god like he looked i mean it was bad i mean people at home couldn't see that because obviously the camera didn't show that but live i'm like oh he's never gonna he just fucking forgot fifth grade dude like it's done and you you you can hear matt linden's podcast matt on the mat hey if can, guys, just a quick hit here. Hey, Sam.

Don't nobody get up and move or anything. Let's just see if he can just lean into that mic. I thought he was a shooter. I saw him lingering around. I go, he's a shooter. No, no, no. This is Sam. You would sit here for a second?

Okay. Bring him over here. Now, Frank, this is Sam from Portland. He is one of our phone booth fighting listeners. How long have you been listening to phone booth fighting, Sam? I don't remember. It's been a while. Good.

All right. We appreciate you listening and subscribing. And Sam's story is this, Frank. We've been talking about you and I doing this program for five months. Sam heard us talking about it. They do this program all around the world, actually, but they're doing it up in Portland as well. And Sam signed up because he heard us talking about it. Now, how long have you been doing it?

We're about week five or six. We just started the full time. The better question is, how are you going to get out of it now? No refunds. Well, he knows now he only has at least six seconds. The better question is, how are you going to get out of it now? No reflex. Well, he knows now he only has at least six seconds. What's that? There's got to be six seconds. Sam, did my performance give you any cause for concern about the next?

That's a good segue with Mike talking about that, yeah. Yeah, four months or so for you. No, not at all. Not at all. That guy was a little big and a little young, I think, to be matched up with you. Are you already considering how to bribe the officials to set you up against the 15-year-old now that you

know a little bit more about how it works? I don't know if you want that 15-year-old. He was fucking pretty tough. That kid was tough. He was super tough. He almost choked Jason out with a triangle. I'm like looking at him. I'm like going, oh, James is making fun of you because you're sitting and looking at your face. You're like, oh, shit.

To watch the toughness in that kid when he was driving his face into him and just withstanding all of it. Just feet away from me. That kid is tough. I was surprised when you said his age. He was young. You know what? That's the thing I love about MMA, martial arts now, is that, I mean, fuck, man. In high school, if you were thinking to take someone's lunch money, that's the fucking kid you would pick.

Sure. And if you don't know how to fight, that kid will fuck you up. He knew about guillotines, triangles. Real quick. He landed some right hands. Like, that guy gave Jason, who's had, like, I think six or seven fights, a run for his money. Yeah, he did. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, it's... Candid. You keep talking. Chaley's going to take a candid shot of you actually being a guest. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Yeah. So, talk to Frank. Don't look at the camera. Yeah, you'll want to use this. Act like you're friends. Yeah, exactly. Like you belong here. So, how does our program compare to what's going on out there in Portland, do you think?

I'm not sure. I just, you know, I've just been in the morning trainings and working with the coaches and things. So, yeah. But watching the fights, a lot of great fights, you know, to watch and the exciting, the crowd was into it. So it's a lot of fun. I'm surprised so many people were there. Honestly, if we do another Women's Warrior Syndicate, I think we're going to have to talk to them about. I mean, I know that it's going to cost money, but there might be an objective to sell tickets and go ahead and get a small arena.

Like, you know, go over to the Orleans or something. Like, you know, talk to somebody. Tell them we stitch you up in the back. We knew there was no ice early on because Stan Hope was looking for ice. For his drinks. We brought a booze bag. We had a full bar in that satchel behind Chaley. But we didn't have cups or ice.

And I go, well, they have to have cups. They drink water. You're absolutely right. That would be a good, safe bet. And I said they have to have ice here. So I asked a fighter. I think he's a UFC He was in the UFC. UFC guy.

He was hanging out. Amir Sadala? Yeah, that was him. That was him. He's like, he recognized me. I'm like, I'm coming to see you. How do you know me? He was getting ready to leave.

He stayed because of you guys. Great. And I go, we need cups and ice. I go, when you have a swelling and they put ice on your face, they must have ice here. Where does that ice come from? He said, I don't know. I said, now I realize I should be talking to your corner man. There goes James Horne saying, making his exit.

Frank's training partner. Are you going to... Okay, I'm going to talk for you while you're gone. And I'm going to have someone that is Google savvy. Alright, Frank's walking

away. Last night, you and I, Dick Hunter, we had dinner. I thought Frank was going to be there. And it's one of those things. The last time I let someone pick up a check that didn't cheat their way in, Morgan Murphy, is Johnny Depp. Because, yeah, the old Mitch Hedberg joke. Sometimes when my agents take me to dinner, I pull out my wallet when the check comes.

Because inside my wallet, there's a note that says, remember to say thank you. So anticipating Frank Mir being there, when the check came, I was going to make us Google celebrity net worth, which is dog shit. Right. But whoever had the most money according to celebrity net worth would have had to pay. So when he comes back, now that he's stepped away fortuitously, I use a big word for the third time in two days. Nice. You've taken more shots today than Hunter did. Where's our flunky?

What are you looking for? He's not a flunky. Oh, you want somebody to do it? No, I get Hannigan over here. Hannigan's texting. He's texting. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's texting.

No, by the way, this is an A-lister move, by the way, of Doug. Like when your whole team, your squad comes along on the road, you know, like Doug's got his manager and podcast producer and everything, you know. That's like what you – that's an A-lister move when you got the whole team. Because you brought hair and makeup. You brought everybody. This is it. You're an excuse for us to get away from our wives.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we want to Google it. To hit on yours. Did you see the comment on one of your – because you reposted that picture of us from dinner last night. And Jennifer was the only girl there because you guys are having a don't drag the bag weekend right and so i i posted the picture and i said you know one of the great things about vegas is seeing what you know seeing the stars that come out for the big fights and one of your fans posted stars he goes i see joey and chad shank but uh other than that who's who are all the guys around the hot girl? Oh, Sebastian's here.

Okay, so real quick, Sam. Frank, we have a bet. You don't know what the bet is. One of us is picking up the tab for the drinks. Frank's in on it. Quickly, the bet is who's picking up the tab. I thought you were going to be at dinner last night, so I thought, when the check comes,

we're going to check celebrity net worth. Yes. Me versus you, which is all bullshit anyway. But whoever... Yeah, because I think it says I'm worth $10 million. Oh, fuck. I don't know where the fuck that is.

Picking up the tab. I don't know where the fuck any of that money is. What do they have? I have my crew checking. Oh, okay. Okay, they're checking. I think it's if you part me off when I die

and sell my parts away. You get my worth. Yeah, like, okay, $250,000. That guy's worth about $5 million. Oh, that's because I have my beautiful blue eyes. Those are worth

at least a million piece. I'm worth $100,000 dead. $2 million if you kill me, yeah. The wife gets... More dead than alive? Was my... I saw my opponent coming here. Let me know if you need help with that someday.

He's here, yeah. He is here? Okay. We've got to get him over at some point. Frank, I was about to say, one of my managers walked away. Because I have two managers over there. And I thought that sounds ridiculous. But earlier you told me one of my nutritionists,

when you drank tequila, Big Dick Hunter accidentally drank tequila, you said one of my nutritionists. Yes. I feel silly for having two managers. I have a road manager and a business. You have several nutritionists. Actually, now I've gotten rid of them all. There's an MC Hammer of

worthless posses. Actually, that's a shout out to you. Before six months ago, I thought vegan was very healthy, and I'm still not a vegan, but I've abandoned a lot of meat, and actually a lot of it was due to you because seeing that

you have muscle tone and as a vegan I've basically gone 90% pescatarian. I eat fish and eggs but I don't... People don't realize steroids are vegan.

I've lost 50 pounds over a year. So I mean steroids are vegan so you don't realize it's easy to keep muscle on vegan. I got AIDS and I lost 50 pounds.

Gluten-free too, I hear. THC stuff. CBD, all that. Frank, did you see my opponent anywhere? He was in here a minute ago. We need to get his perspective, don't we? That was ice in his hands. Oh, is he here?

Yeah, he's here. Oh, all right. Sam, tell everybody here? Yeah, he's here. Oh, alright. Sam, tell everybody how they can follow you on Twitter and everything because I want them to follow your progress. I have no idea. You know which Twitter is? I have a Twitter but I can't even remember what it is. I got it. I follow like five

people maybe. He's a shameful self-promoter. Hey, welcome to the club. I hate it. Well, one thing over the next five months. You wouldn't like it anyway, even if I remembered it. I may not be much help with anything else in your camp, but I can help you with the self-promotion over the next five months. We'll tighten all that up.

Yeah. I'm just going to get back on a couple. In Portland, they plan on doing the event. The finale is part of a local show at the Roseland. Yeah. So I don't know if that would be an idea they could do here. Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be a nice venue up there.

Hey, by the way, guys, by the way. I don't know what you're doing. Huh? Sorry. All right. Sorry. So we're going to bring – uh-oh. They got confused in the orders that Doug gave them?

Nobody has done anything that he said. It's not just Mir that's ignoring Stan. Hope is on manager. It's ignoring him. All right, so let me just paint the picture that's going on in the other room for a second, if you guys will indulge me. So I just sent Frank over to find my opponent, who has shown up here to get him on the podcast.

But the funny thing is, before he realizes everything's going to be okay, that we want him on the podcast, there's going to be a good four to five seconds of, oh, shit, because Frank's going to come over and be like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? All right, so I think he's tracking him down. Oh, where'd Joby go? Joby went to the bathroom, I think.

All right, okay, we'll get Joby back over here. Yeah, Joby's full of alcohol and Adderall. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It's an AA. Yeah. Yeah. What did you guys do last night after the big pre-fight dinner?

We sat at the emptiest bar at the hotel. The Luxor, we can say it now, because we'll be gone by the time people come bother us. No one would even care to. So yeah, we found a bar at the sports book that's empty and we sat and bullshitted and had a blast and laughed like fucking children. Until 3.45 in the morning. Oh man.

Yeah. It was later than that. Well, that's the last time I had any activity on my phone. I remember this morning I said, I think I called my wife last night. And then I looked and I go, No, I called my wife at 3.48 a.m. Sorry, honey.

As our listeners know and yours might not know, Chad is a danger to himself and others, and mostly others and himself. Equal. I appreciate that. He's not good in public. I'm not good in public

mentally. But he could turn sideways, and he was great. Oh, here he is. All right. All right. I'm going to put you in Sam's chair here if you don't mind. You're hanging out for a second.

You're a bit, right? Look to the after? Okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to put you in Sam's chair here. Now, here comes Scott. Here is Big Dick's opponent. How are we doing?

Big Dick Slayer. And new. Yeah, and new. Undefeated amateur MMAma fighter all right scott welcome to the uh the swap cast you're actually on two podcasts right now you're on phone booth fighting and you're on doug stanhope's podcast are you more afraid of being on microphone versus the ring oh i don't know man i did kind of take a nap before the Ooh, I don't know, man. I did kind of take a nap before the fight, so I don't think I was afraid. I've never been one for nerves, though.

Have you played other sports? I was a swimmer through high school. That was about it. God, say you were a D1 wrestler. Just say, like, yeah, yeah. Just jumping in the pool, you have him by a length. Here's how the cheerleader. I'm like, oh, God.

Richard, here's the knife. Yeah. Well, they say public speaking is the biggest fear. Yeah, this is, like, the number one fear, right? Oh, man, I've already had three drinks. I'm good to go. All right. There we go.

Now, Scott, three drinks is what it takes to get the shakes off of me so I can eat my breakfast. That's crazy. Scott was my opponent. Now, Scott, give everybody your recollection of what happened. Oh, man, it was a blur, honestly. It was one of those just let adrenaline take over and just go from there. I've seen the video. It's a blur.

It is a blur. Did you hear your heartbeat in your ears? It wasn't more heartbeat. It was one of those things. You probably know as soon as you step in the ring, it's just like you're underwater. You don't hear the crowd anymore. You don't hear nothing. Easily my first five fights, same way.

I could actually used to be able to hear my heartbeat in my ears walking out to the cage. So the knockout was as surprising to you as it was to Dick? The thing was is I figured since I'm easily the tallest guy there being 6'8". 6'8"? I had him at 6'8". 6'8"? I had him at 6'7". It's better now. But Rich had a disadvantage, unfortunately. But I knew, even through training,

I knew everybody was going to either go for my legs or try to just turtle up and step in. And I was just practicing that step-back right hook counter. And if he came through for my legs I was practicing that step back and uppercut so just pretty much just clench my fist, grab my teeth and let him fly. Yeah I definitely expected you to go for his legs is what I thought was going to be. Well here's the problem with that though because he's so tall. He's going to anticipate that. If Richard drives with a blast double and drives forward he could trip him up but he going to be. Well, here's the problem with that, though, because he's so tall. He's going to anticipate that. If Richard drives with a blast double and drives forward, he could trip him up, but he has to be like a downward trajectory type of double.

The problem is most of the time when you shoot on the leg, you lift people up. That's why I like Jon Jones. Besides being a phenomenal wrestler, he's so hard to take down for Daniel Cormier because Daniel Cormier is like 5'11". Jon Jones, 6'4", 6'3", you know, but long legs. So every time Daniel would lock up on Jon's legs, he would extend his body up, right? So he's like picking up a suitcase. Well, most people, if you do that, I connect my hands between your legs and I stand up tall.

You're off balance now. You're hopping on one leg because I've lifted your center of gravity up. When you fight someone as tall as Scott, you go and lock your hands and then you extend your hips. All of a sudden, they're not off balance because you can't go up any higher. So we actually worked on the clinch to go on the back and drag him down. And clearly, as he just confirmed, he was expecting, you know, right, you're either going to go for my legs because that makes sense.

So, yeah, you've got to take the in-between strategy. Yeah, I was kind of afraid to take the in-between strategy. Yeah, I was kind of afraid to throw a kick because I was expecting him just to be ready for that and grab it and then run the pipe. What did we tell you to do if you threw a kick? Exactly. Immediately was just to rush you. Yeah. As soon as the kick made contact, not to anticipate it going back down,

but knowing that once it makes contact, it has to retract. And on that contact was his green light just to run forward and grab you and throw you down. Well, we had a plan. Yeah, everybody has a plan. Yeah, that's right. Everybody has a plan to make you get punched in the face. Now let's see here.

Hey, that's Mike Tyson. Yeah. I feel bad for Scott. Are you disappointed that after five months of hard training, you only got six seconds? No, he's not disappointed. He hasn't lost his virginity yet. It's going to be the same thing. I'm 31.

It's okay. Oh, he's 31. You're younger. You baby-faced motherfucker. I get that all the time. I was wondering if you were... I thought we were going to get in trouble if you were drinking beer next to us. I work at a liquor shop.

I still get carded. He wears glasses, so when he lost his virginity, he couldn't see it happen from that height. I'm sure his uncle told him all about it. Someone's got to run the camera. Document everything nowadays. Scott, I missed the fight. We all came up here run the camera. You've got to document everything nowadays. Scott, I missed the fight. We all came up here for the fight.

His nicotine habit was more important than his friendship. I smoked a cigarette before the fight, and the fight was over, and I came back in for a cigarette. He's basically saying you're a fucking asshole. Look at him. He dressed up, showed up at the party, and you ended it too soon. I brought three different suits. Stopped, showed up at the party, and you ended it too soon. I brought three different seats.

That is a nice suit. You know what we should do maybe for next season for chain smokers like Doug? They could have a text feature like they do at the pharmacy. When your prescription's ready to pick up, it'd be like your fighter is ready now. And then you could come in from the smoking area. Yeah. I was actually really surprised with how well that fight was ran. The entire venue was run. Yeah.

I was expecting it to... I'm not allowed to curse. Sure. I was expecting it to be a clusterfuck. Yeah. Just clown fiesta the whole way through. But we started on time, and it went perfect. It's so loud in here.

I thought you said, I'm surprised how well that fight was rigged. I really thought you said... I thought I was going to have to throw two punches. I'm surprised how well that fight was rigged. I really thought you said that. I thought I was going to have to throw two punches. I might have missed it because there was a lot of chaos, but right after the fight was called, they kind of hustled everybody out of the octagon, I think even you. Did you actually get your hand raised in the middle of the octagon or not?

I'm pretty sure I did. No, we did. No, that's just Scott was there. In fact, what do you do for a living? I was a... You're not as motherfuckers out as what he was. No, do you have a medical background or something? No, no medical background.

I was a restaurant manager for a while. I thought you were like... Same thing. ...paramedic or something because you're sitting there pulling the mouthpiece, talking to Richard, like being attentive to his health. And at first I was like, I wonder if this kid's like a paramedic or something because you were sitting there pulling the mouthpiece, talking to Richard, like being attentive to his health. And at first I was like, I wonder if this kid's like a paramedic or something. At one point in my life, I wanted to be a cop. But then I realized that they make shit money for being shot at.

So let's not do that. Yeah. They do get to beat the shit out of people whenever they feel like it. That's a nice part. It's all coming back to me now because that was the ultimate power move because Frank's asking me, do I know where I'm at, you know, and all that. Scott comes over and goes, open up. I open my mouth, and he took the mouthpiece out.

Yeah, he pulled his mouthpiece out. Yeah, yeah. It was a solid move. Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? I got a girlfriend. She is around here. Is she here?

No, I was going to ask that next. This is going to be the greatest night of your life, right? If he thought he could get pussy after a fight. I mean, what? Oh, man, it's been like, what, two weeks? Oh, yeah. Oh, you did the old fighter thing of like, yeah. Do you sense... Gotta be angry like a bull, right? Sure. Do you sense

she's already looking at you differently this afternoon? Like... No, she was... Like you're 6'9 or 6'10 now she was actually uh very awesome um when we started she let me uh just chill hang out get my own little zone and uh before because we were the third fight and so the first two fights she kind of just like stayed away and i could tell she was getting nervous but she like stayed in her own uh space and didn't let me get that nervous energy off of her so yeah she was awesome about it all right meanwhile mrs mirror was over comforting uh my girlfriend this is what i got the other the other jenna whore yes they're both uh they're both yeah we totally all weren't

over there giggling yeah well here's i got this from firsthand accounts that your Jennifer, Frank, in her sincere attempt to put my Jennifer at ease, told her before the fight, she said, now listen, don't worry if something doesn't turn out his way. The best thing that can happen is if he gets choked out, he'll just go to sleep. He'll just go to sleep. It'll be okay. I've been married to a professional fighter for 15 years. Like, oh, look, he'll wake up.

You know, that was one thing I really liked learning about was because I was Bill. We all know Bill, right? He's Bill? Oh, yes, yeah. One of the guys in class who was like far and away. 250 pounds, just a solid boxer. You know, obviously a football player. He got to knock me out a few times during sparring.

And one thing I learned is during a knockout, you feel no pain whatsoever. But an hour later, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you were clear. But an hour later, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Scott, now that you're the syndicate MMA champion on Warm Springs Road, who do you want to call out next? Oh, good question. Good question. Because I'm calling out Roxy.

Close to yours. We're good, man. Yeah. Hey. I can come up with 40 pounds, right? We got you on Monday. I somehow think Frank would really enjoy that just because of the loss that he feels he suffered as a corner man. I think he would thoroughly enjoy that fight.

If you're like, please submit me. I'm like, no. All the shame. More punches in my eye. Frank Mir gets all the shame for your loss. You know that. It's my fault. It is completely your fault.

Did he intimidate you at all with me being in his corner? No, not at all. I was actually going to talk about that. Yeah, we're definitely spot on Monday. Yeah, no. Careful how you answer this one. No, one of my buddies was like, oh, my buddy James, he actually, he used to be your neighbor. He used to know you.

You guys used to get haircuts and Supercuts, that kind of thing. And he was- James said, hey, if you ever get on the podcast, drop my name. Remember the Supercuts? Back in the Supercuts days. He saw the picture of you guys that you posted on Instagram. Yeah. Because I follow you as well.

And he's like, oh, man. He's like, are you worried? You got Frank Mir in his corner? I'm like, no, man. That just gets me more pumped up. He's like, and we were kind of warming up together. And he's like, hey, you know, Frank Mir in his corner I'm like no man that just gets me more pumped up he's like and uh we were kind of warming up together and he's like hey you know uh Frank Mir uh is watching you right I'm like yeah Frank Mir is watching me that that makes me feel good yeah that's a good way to take it well it's got I have to tell you too I mean just in terms of the dynamics of my

relationship with Frank the the the advantage if he gave me any advantage, it was just keeping me calm. Like, that's the biggest role you play for me. Like, I mean, the technique is awesome, but it's like I would have been – You're feeling everything normal. Yeah, I would have been way more nervous. Don't be a spaz. I would like to say that you say there's nothing on the line on this fight. You're doing this for fun.

There's no money. But, no, Scott is the new co-host of the phone booth. We brought you here. All your friends will love you. This is how we tell you. It was actually kind of funny because we were doing the weigh-ins on Friday, right? Yep. And we were like, because everybody thought I was fighting one of our guys at Dax.

Another tall guy. Yeah, Dax. We were like, everybody's like 95% sure you're fighting Dax. Like, even when they called Dax, I was like two steps in. Like, oh, I'm about to be his fight. And then he's like, no, he's fighting someone else. I'm like, who the hell am I fighting? Right.

And like a week prior. You said not an elderly person. No way. Actually, a week prior, I was going to, you put out something for the phone booth fighting T-shirts. I was like, oh, I'm going to get a T-shirt. I'm going to wear that at weigh-ins. Oh, damn. And it would have worked out perfectly.

Yeah. What size T-shirt do you wear? Right now, large. Okay. Frank, I have to consult with my business partner for a second. Frank, would it be okay with okay if we gift him a shirt? I'm going to see about crowdfunding a t-shirt that says, I knocked out Richard Hunter and all I got was this t-shirt.

Yeah. There we go. I fought Big Dick Hunter and I couldn't even lose my baby teeth. I made you smile and that made the joke work. It did. All right, man. I made you smile, and that made the joke work. This is it. All right, man. Well, if I had to get knocked out by somebody, I'm glad it was you, Scott. Yeah.

Pleasure, man. All right. Tell everybody. Would you like an extra Twitter follower or two? Would you like to tell people what they find on Instagram or anything? I have not changed my Twitter profile picture in 11 years. We're just so used to plugs on the show. No, Instagram, you know, Scotty, period, ha.

That's all it is. Okay, H-A for Hawkins, right? For Hawkins. Got it. All right. All right, well, thanks for coming on, dude. Hey, Scotty, now that you're the world champion and you're recently engaged. Not yet, but.

You will be after tonight. You know, you are a mind reader, so eventually. Now, pussy's going to flock to you. All the chicks that were there are both going to flock to you. Bonus points would say that I only have one pussy, and it's good enough for me, so we'll just keep it at that. Kind of like Cookie Monster. Frank, how does he handle the newfound fame? One step at a time, keep people around you.

Hey, I mean, I am the only person in Hunter Warrior Las Vegas to knock out someone in two years. Sean is the owner of... Yeah, I was hoping not to be the one to break that to you. That we found that out that you... Were you not aware of that? Sean. What evil statistician decided to share that? Yeah, they text me that. They're like, are you aware that Richard's the only person?

Yeah, I'm like, oh. The one and only. The first. Record setter. There will be many others, but there will be no other firsts. Hey, Rich, I just want to let you know, you were my first, and I appreciate it. For the listeners, he just reached across and touched his hand in a gentle manner. All right.

Okay, Joby's back. All right. Get back, Joby. Get the fuck out of the seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Joby's back. That's wandering back in the kitchen. What's going on back there?

I'm not trying to keep track of Doug anymore. I'm fucked up, but he's more fucked up. All right, Joby, as soon as Doug gets back, I did promise the brothel, well, the Dennis Hoss story in memoriam. Oh, that's right. Because, you know, Frank and I have not even talked about this on the podcast, and our listeners are clamoring for it. We haven't done the podcast.

I know. Well, I thought it would be best to wait until Doug was here, because Doug knew him as well. I know. Well, I thought it would be best to wait until Doug was here because Doug knew him as well. Dennis Hoff died where I was in some kind of party mode like tonight or last night. George W. fucking Bush III or whatever. Bush just died. H.W. H.W.

H.W. Like 980 hits site-wide. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant his age. H-W. Like 980 hits site-wide. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant his age. Well, yeah. Not much of a payoff because it's 100 minus your age. Hey, hey. 94.

Again, points are points. I know. I understand. Okay, so don't scoff at points. But points. Big Dick Hunter. Big Dick Hunter, you were around for the Dennis Hoff death. Yes.

Like last night where I was in a gambling fog. George W. Bush died. I'm like, what? I had to text him to tell him that Hoff died. Yeah. He didn't know. To be clear, I was not anywhere near the scene when it happened because, here's the funny thing. For all the things I've done with Dennis over the years, this radical right-wing political campaign that he ran offended my sensibilities.

So of all the things I had to tell him, listen, this is the part I can't have anything to do with. That's fucking hilarious. Okay? All right? I am not okay with this. So I didn't have anything to do with that, but'm wondering where but i will tell you this a little bit of trivia he died in the same room in the same bed where i found lamar odom yeah it was the same bed right yeah yeah that was me yeah yeah so so that i mean that that's that room can tell some tales doug though had the ultimate

obituary i mean of Yeah, he was really good. It was all over the news, because Doug knew him, too, and Ron Jeremy was at the scene and found him and all this. And that fucking cocksucker the sheriff Joe Arpaio. Arpaio, that cunt.

And he didn't get any bad press from that. Yeah. From what I saw. No, the night before, he had had a fundraiser that was attended by Roger Stone and Sheriff Joe Arpaio. And that's the only thing I told him. That's what I texted you. It was like, why couldn't it have been Arpaio that died?

Right. No, Chad, that's the other thing, too, is I had told Dennis, I said, listen, these people you're hanging around are bad for my reputation. Like, I don't want to be seen with these people. The prostitutes were one thing, but I don't want to be anywhere near these people. But, Doug, tell everybody your succinct 150-whatever-it-was character tweet. No, no, it's perfect. Or somebody that remembers it, tell us. Oh, no.

I remembered it last night, and then you corrected me. So you tell us. You said in this, Dennis would be the first. He died doing what he loved. Yes, which is cliche. Everybody would say, oh, he died doing what he loved. Doug said Dennis Hoff died doing what he loved, getting publicity. Dennis Hoff also died doing what Ron Jeremy loved the most, getting publicity. Dennis Hoff also died doing what Ron Jeremy loved the most, getting publicity.

And both of those people, Doug, would be the first to agree with that. 100%. Absolutely. He was the greatest self-promoter ever. Dennis Hoff was so blatantly self-promoting. Yes. I'll give you an example. Ron White is a good example of a guy who is shameless about, yeah, I buy other comics.

He said this to me once. He said, yeah, I buy material from great comedians, and then I take the teeth out of it so it's not funny anymore, and my audience applauds. So it's not funny anymore. And my audience applauds. That was about Andy Andrus. Dennis had, you know, now the tales can be told. Because Austin, not unlike the wrestling business, when he was alive, we were protecting the business. You know, the facade of the family. Well, yes, but all of the publicity stunts.

We were protecting the way they used to do back in the day of pro wrestling. Okay, so now I can tell you a few stories. So he's doing an interview one day with Reason Magazine, the libertarians, right? Oh, Jesus. And they're interviewing him at the Bunny Ranch. And just out of fucking nowhere, I i mean just out of thin air he says to the interviewer well you know of all the girls that work here half of them have college degrees and one in five has a master's degree yeah and he gets done with the interview the the interviewer doesn't call him on it we

get done with the interview i'm looking this up on my phone. We get done with the interview. I said, Dennis, if one in five girls here had a graduate degree, that would be twice the national average. What you're simply saying is that parents are being delinquent and irresponsible if they don't get their daughters into prostitution. He just looked at me and he goes, you know, if everything I said was true, I'd do half the interviews. Dennis Hart. That's good.

He was always nice to me, but he was self-gained. It was like a legal Harvey Weinstein. What you had to know about him was that... Hang on, that deserves a retweet. Yeah, what you had to know about him was that. Hang on, that deserves a retweet.

He was like a legal Harvey Weinstein. What you had to know about him, though, was, and again, these are all things that he would tell you, is that if it didn't happen in front of a camera, it didn't really happen or it didn't matter, basically. And honestly, of all the people that were close to him, and he would be very open about this, it's like when he was genuinely happy is when he was getting publicity. And I'll use the Lamar Odom example. I don't think I've told you guys this story. So when Lamar Odom happened.

You did, like off mic, you told me. It was 72 straight hours of just national press descending on the brothel. And satellite trucks parked all over the place. And by the way, I don't know if I need to tell you, it's bad for business at a brothel when you pull up and you're going to walk in front of Good Morning America's satellite truck, right? Yeah, yeah. They tend not to want to come in front of Good Morning America's satellite truck, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's, whoo! They tend not to want to come in the brothel. Yeah. So 72 hours of this.

Now, keep in mind, we thought that Lamar Odom was going to die. I mean, for a couple of days there, it was like, I think this guy's going to be dead. Yeah, but you found him. Right. But the doctor said, you know, hey, this guy probably ain't going to make it. So we've got 72 hours of this media. Now, anybody else, think about it. You own a business. Someone has a drug overdose in your business, and he's at death's door for 72 hours.

And at the end of it, he lives. Pretty much anybody else would be relieved. They'd be like, okay, we thank you. Dodge a bullet. No more publicity. So for 72 hours, it is touch and go. You know, we don't think he's going to make it, right? So after three days, all the satellite trucks are leaving everything.

Any other business owner would be relieved, right? A private moment. It's just Dennis and I sitting there. As the last satellite truck is pulling away, Dennis looks up at me and goes, Richard, we've got to figure out a way to just keep this going. He's like, a tear was being shed because they were leaving. That's like a Hallmark moment. Yes.

Right? That's brutal. I thought I was morally bankrupt, but no, I still am. I understand that. Okay, I'll tell you another one. So when Lamar Odom went to the hospital, I have to follow the ambulance, and I'm calling Jennifer. Do you have to?

Well, I mean, I guess I didn't have to, but I was like, I'm going to stay with this guy. Better than leading it, though. Yeah, right. I mean, you know, so I'm following the ambulance. We get to Pahrump because that was where the nearest hospital was. So they got him in the hospital in Pahrump. I'm the only person. That's where dreams go to hell for sure.

I'm the only person that's there. And I'm thinking, man, this guy that doesn't even know me is going to die, and I'm going to be the only person with him or whatever. So this weird, shady fixer guy shows up, okay? Like this guy. This is the power of the Kardashians. This guy. Fixer guy? up okay like this great denovan this is the power of the kardashians this guy well just just a guy like a ray donovan shows up and he goes he goes uh let me let me talk to you for a second now this is about he's been in the hospital for three hours now or something so

you know word has maybe started to trickle out that he's in there. So this guy shows up, and he takes me aside, and he goes, Listen, I'm on the Kardashian-Odom team, and I understand that back of the brothel there is a backpack, there's two cell phones, there's some nondisclosure agreements, which he traveled with his own nondisclosure agreements. Really? Like signed agreements? Is it notarized? No, I don't know about that but he goes he takes me aside and he goes he goes now i'm going to need you to release those

to me and i said well you know we got them locked up at the office i don't know if i can do that or not until i till hop says it's okay and he goes goes, listen. He goes, right now, this is under the radar. No one knows about it. He goes, I'm sure your boss, Mr. Hoff, would not like this kind of publicity surrounding his business. On cue. On cue. My cell phone rings. I look down.

It's Dennis calling me, right? I said, excuse me. I have to step away for a second. Answer the phone. Hey, Dennis. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so TMZ's going to call you. Now, when they call you, now you talk to

them first, because I told them they could have that. Now, after that, the National Enquirer will call. TMZ is the worst fucking organization in the world. Go ahead. But he's like, you know, don't take National Enquirer before you take TMZ, because we told them first. I mean, he's already engineering the whole thing, and this guy's over here like, oh.

He doesn't want this kind of publicity. Yeah, that other guy over there is feeling real smart going, yeah, you know, right now we can play this. No one will know. And I'm like, boy, you don't know this. We're on opposite teams. You don't realize it yet, but we have different goals. That's great. He was the master at stuff like that.

He was good. I know you were there, Doug. I had to do the man show, and it's in my book. Hey, plug my book. I forget the name. I forget the name of my book. I forget the name of my book. We went to film there for the man show,

and Dennis Hoff, very gracious person, the most gracious person. He would roll out that red carpet. And he's like, you got a free pass for any one of my prostitutes, and Carrot Top has fucked my prostitutes. And Carrot Top has fucked my prostitutes. He kept name dropping. And Rogan goes, well, I'm not going to fuck your prostitutes. I don't want to be in the list of names.

He goes, no, they're all openly. And they were. We fact checked. Yeah, that's true. all openly. And they were. That's true. We fact checked. Yep, that's true. They were people that openly said. They signed off. Yeah, you know, I had a wife. He had a girl.

Yeah, we're not going to fuck your prostitutes if you're going to throw us in some fucking roll call of people who fucked your prostitutes. Right after he died, they played on Howard Stern, the old Sternthology episodes with him on there. And at one point, I was laughing because I remember you telling that story, but on the Howard Stern show, he started naming a few people who he could name, and one of the girls took a cue and just started naming people.

And he had to be like, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. All right. Speaking of Stern, I got a good Stern story. people and you had to be like whoa whoa hold on all right like the trick speaking of stern i got a good stern story that that hey frank beer you ever fuck a prostitute at dennis hoff's place no never have i might have told you the story frank i might not have but uh because he brought up howard stern just now doug did and dennis's relationship with him so dennis went on howard stern one time as he did many times, for a particular promotion. And this promotion was called Get My Grandpa Laid.

Yep. Just listen to it. Okay. Now, the concept was this. You would bring your grandpa on Howard Stern and plead his case as to why he should win a free weekend at the Bunny Ranch, and then Howard would select the winner. These grandpas were 85, 95 oh yeah like oh yeah yeah yeah just awful yeah so so uh the winner was uh this guy uh grandpa johnny who was a widower and he was in his mid-80s and he'd been a widower for 20 years

or something he wins so i'm at the bunny Bunny Ranch when Grandpa Johnny arrives with his grandson, who is the one who sponsored his appearance on Howard Stern. I know this story. So it's the Thursday afternoon tea party, which is the staff meeting for all the girls. They sit around with the tea party hats on and do their meeting. And fuck Dennis Hoff with a fucking bloated redhead. So Grandpa Johnny comes dancing into the brothel. He is excited.

And he has already selected his prostitute of choice there. He's pointing at Hennigan. No, he just said make sure the camera went black. So he selects his, you know, he says, I'm ready to meet Carissa. You know, and his grandson says, okay, well, Grandpa Johnnya you know and uh and and his his grandson says uh okay well grandpa johnny you know let's we're gonna get to that but since we're here and lake tahoe is 20 minutes away why don't we go out we'll have a nice steak dinner you know and then you come back and you have your private time with caressa so he goes so so they go up to lake tahoe for a steak dinner now that's where i left

them because this was evening time now, and I head back to where I'm staying. So about 5 in the morning, I get an emergency text message from Dennis Hoff. OMG, Grandpa Johnny went to Lake Tahoe for a steak dinner before he was going to fuck Caressa. He took one bite of his steak, choked on it, and died at the table. It still gets better. Hold on.

This story gets way good. The table full of guys. The guy died. It's going to get better. That's not even the funny part. It's kind of morbid that we all laughed at that part. The truly funny part has actually come. I'm about to text back, that's awful.

Is the family okay? I know his grandson was there. And you know like on your iPhone when you can see the bubble pop up where somebody has already texted back? I can't even get that out. And the next text comes from him that says, get into my office immediately. We have got to figure out how to blow this up. So we go in there. That's so Hannigan. up so we go in so hannigan so we go in there for a you know a meeting to figure out how to put the

you know the spin on that and i believe you know tmz proclaimed it the saddest day in bunny ranch history you know dennis was on the live feed talking about it but here's the kicker so i felt bad being a part of it until until until i found out i found out that his grandson when they were loading grandpa johnny's corpse into the ambulance the grandson reached into grandpa johnny's inside coat pocket and pulled out the voucher for the prostitute yes went to the bunny ranch that night and redeemed it claiming it as a tribute to Grandpa Johnny. He would have wanted it that way. That's the way he would have wanted it.

Such a great story. What should we do? Should we put a wrap on this one? Chad Shank and I just pissed together and said I'm as drunk as I could possibly be. And I said, you're doing good at it. And he said, you're as drunk as I could possibly be.

And I said, you're doing good at it. And he said, you're doing good at it. But I don't know how long that's going to hold up. I like the positive reinforcement, guys. Yeah, yeah. That's what friends are all about. It's a bad memory because I told him he was not doing good at it. He was drunk and out of control. Look how much better he's doing.

So we will tell your podcast listeners that Phone Booth Fighting is available on iTunes and Stitcher and Google Play and every place you get podcasts. We also have a YouTube channel, Phone Booth Fighting, so they can check out our weekly podcast there. And your listeners, or rather our listeners, need to know. Yeah, I think we're on Audioboom. Yep. At Doug Stanhope Podcast, DougStanhope.com. iTunes, I'll listen to you on iTunes, too. It's everywhere.

It's out there. Looking at loading it back up on YouTube. Yep. I would like that because you guys have a great setup, the Funhouse in Bisbee, Arizona. Doug's basically awesome. Built his own little bar clubhouse thing that they broadcast from. Anything else like Frank Beer needs to plug? Well, I got my fight December 14th. You guys want to check it out? Yes. Two weeks for him. Anything else like Frank Beer needs to plug? Well, I got my fight

December 14th. Guys, check it out. Two weeks for tonight. Go out there representing Fulham Booth Fighting. December 10th,

actually, I'll be there a couple days early. It's my wife and I's 15-year anniversary. 15 years marriage is put up with me.

I'm actually going to be in Hawaii. Some good friends of mine are getting married the day after your fight, so I'll be there for a few weeks. Make sure we have to look out for each other. Yeah, maybe we will.

Get together. Okay. Yeah. We're going to go check out Pearl Harbor. You'll be fighting for Bellator. It'll be on Paramount Network and on the DAZN app as well. You bet. That's what I was asking.

I could be able to see it on both or just? Yeah. It's always on both. Okay. Well, sometimes it's just on DAZN, but your fight is on Paramount and DAZN. This is how the relationship works. You just remind Frank.

His head is still... She does it to me all the time. And I'd like to share something. My friend, Madeline, when she was sitting here watching you guys tape the podcast, she leaned over at me and she goes, Frank and Richard are so cute. She was like, their friendship is so

cute. The way they look at each other. She was like, they look at each other like they're such good friends. It's gross. It's really gross. They actually like each other. We are. Pretty soon you guys will be celebrating your 15th. That, I appreciate it.

That's true. Every once in a while I get the disappointing father look from him. You know what I mean? The big brother. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was like the... But still.

No, that's the one where he goes... Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't say nothing. He's just taking it in, judging how not to hurt my feelings. It's gross when people don't love. You know, it's gross. It's just gross.

Well, we appreciate your listeners. It's gross. I know we've made new Doug Stano podcast listeners out of ours as well. So we're always happy to share with you guys. Phone booth fighting. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for inviting us. Especially around the holidays.

I was telling my Jennifer, I said, you know, this is literally like a Christmas vacation when Randy Quaid brings his family to town, you know? I think the same wardrobe. Definitely had the most interesting group of individuals. No, no, we appreciate it. All right, so let's get back to having fun in Vegas. And I don't know, maybe we do this again? Maybe we do this again. Now. Maybe we do this again.

Now we've got to go back. Bisbee, you guys came in. Now we've got to go to Bisbee. For the Doug Stanhope Podcast, we are phone booth fighting, and we appreciate you listening. Thanks. Yeah.