The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #319: SwapCast with Amy Miller – Who's Your God? podcast

Episode Date: June 21, 2019

Doug invites the Amy Miller podcast (Who's Your God?) to the HomeStretch compound for a SwapCast with Amy Miller, Steve Hernandez and special guest Olivia Grace.Become a subscriber to the Doug Stanhope Podcast through our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast) - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast) to help keep this and future episodes coming. Any level of support helps and is much appreciated. If our monthly goal is met we will put out an extra podcast at the end of the month. This extra podcast will only be available to those who have donated for that month. Thanks in advance.  - https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcastFall 2019 Tour Dates are being added daily so get on the Doug Stanhope Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/Recorded June 15th, 2019 at the HomeStretch Foundation Compound in Tucson, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Amy Miller (@amymiller (https://twitter.com/amymiller) ), Olivia Grace (@OliviaDoesBits), and Steve Hernandez (@BigHern (https://twitter.com/BigHern) ). Produced by Steve Hernandez. Edited by Hernandez & Chaille.This episode is sponsored by www.DougStanhope.com/store -  http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?v=oIPRYcY_Xs8&redir_token=THAI8ouIQDtnov1_-Z9N9CsULH98MTU1OTM3MjkwMEAxNTU5Mjg2NTAw&event=video_description&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dougstanhope.com%2Fstore%2F)LINKS -HomeStretch Foundation - https://www.homestretchfoundation.org/We like what they are doing over at http://www.FIRRP.org (http://www.firrp.org/) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org (http://www.innocenceproject.org/)  Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. Hello, welcome back to Who's Your God? Our guests are here. It's Olivia Grace and Doug Stanhope. Yes, yes. And welcome to the Doug Stanhope podcast. My guests are Steve Hernandez, Amy C. Miller, and what's... Olivia Grace.

You crushed that intro. It's a swap cast. It's my first swap cast. Yes, it makes no sense to both have a podcast and then do... Do two back to back. Just do one. And cover a lot of the same shit no you're right we're in a beautiful setting right now outside in tucson yeah if you notice the home stretch foundation thank you katherine bertine for having us yes and buy her books which um i'm using to prop up my microphone right, and she looks very hot on the cover of one of them.

That's a very common hackneyed author self-deprecation thing. Oh, yeah, here's one of my books. You can use it as a doorstop, but you're actually using it. I am using it and plugging it, which is okay. And you guys are on a writer's retreat, basically. Basically, we're both working on projects, unnamed projects. Oh, you can't say what your project is? No, we haven't gotten paid yet.

Oh, okay. Well, I've enjoyed your previous projects, so whatever it is, I'm very excited. Thank you. And thank you for having us and being so nice. You put us up, which is nice. You got us tacos. Who knew he was such a sweet man? I've only heard bad things.

I know. This is great. Do you do it just because you know we're going to spread the word around more? I overcompensate because I'm a bad person. I mean, have you done any bad shit this week? No, just bad writing, maybe. You compensate on sort of like a lifetime scale, not like I hurt three people this week, so I'm going to buy some tacos. Well, I know that you're on a shitty tour, so let's start there.

A tour through your shitty state, yeah. Starting in my shitty town. Yes. In Bisbee. I loved it. You've been there, right, Olivia right olivia yeah i have i've been to bisbee have you done the club no i haven't it's uh it was really fun it truly was yeah the first the first show was sold out and we couldn't have asked for a better i mean it was awesome everybody was down and open we could talk about whatever we want there a bunch of freaks there uh ass eating. Yeah, I could just talk about ass eating.

Alluding to the gay shit I've done. They were eating it up. It was great. And then there was the second show. Which was fine. But that club is fun. It's just a town of fucking carnies

and grifters. Everyone's got a grift. I'm just just like i don't trust anybody there but i do have fun with them for a night you know i don't i mean you're right in the heart of brewery gulch and right yeah it's kind of seedy it is yeah and your buddy was doing magic i assume was your buddy yep um literally every single person offered every single person offered us cocaine which is very nice so thoughtful it's a really shitty blow it was fine um i mean we're christians so we don't really do that but it was yeah it was people that you wouldn't even expect and they're like oh you're in from

out of town this is just we just offer people blow. This is what we do in Bisbee. That's very hospitable. Is that the word? Yes. That's very nice of them. Yeah. Like, do you want some drugs and do you want to see a magic trick?

I'm like, uh-huh. Yes. I want all that stuff. Did you stay in the comedy condo? We did. It's nice. Yeah. We had a great time.

Appreciate the help. That's my It's nice. Yeah. Yeah. We had a great time. Appreciate the help. That's my buddy's place. He's living in England for who knows how long. So he turned over the keys. There's a really cute cat that visits. Yeah. That gray cat? Yeah.

It's precious. No, we had fun. Did you guys do Friday, Saturday? No, just two shows one night. And it was great. Like, it was, one night, and it was great. Like, it was, yeah, again, it was their first time. I've been to Bisbee a lot, and I don't know why, so I am, like, drawn to it for some reason.

I went long before I was a comedian. For what? How'd you find it? Just to, like, hang out there. I don't know. I truly don't know, but it's funny, because the first time I heard your name long before I did comedy was I looked at the Bisbee Wikipedia page. And it was just like, there's two celebrities that live here.

Celebrity is a stretch. Doug Stanhope and Wilson from Home Improvement. Did you know that guy? He's dead now. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, he died in Bisbee apparently. But how would you recognize him?

Jake LaMotta lived there. He just died. Oh, interesting. A couple years ago. Oh, okay. He lived, well, part-time. He was there maybe a couple months a year. Yeah.

Did you ever hang out with him? Yeah, he came over to the house for poker a couple times, and he didn't know where he was. He's been that way for a while, right? Yeah. Yeah, he died a couple years ago. But, yeah, he'd come over and sometimes they'd have to look at his hand. You can't beat what's on the board, champ.

You should just fold. Oh, gee. Yeah, it's an interesting place, to be sure. First time doing comedy there. you live in arizona no i just used to take a lot of long road trips by myself and then like go to weird like local bars and just get hammered and like talk to strangers and then i was like oh stand-up comedy you can actually make a whole career of these habits um and then yeah now i've been back a couple of times since i've done comedy but i just love it i always love the vibe of it i've

stayed at shady dell a few times because i like trailers yeah um yeah shady dell's the best i love it yeah do you and you're you still like it yeah I absolutely love being home. Yep. You're so hospitable. Just for the record, your podcast is the Who's Your God podcast. Yes. So we will be talking religion soon. Just for my listeners. Your listeners, assume. I hope so.

Yeah. But I've been watching your tweets from the road because you did Bisbee and then Flagstaff and then down to Phoenix. Yes. And then. Tonight we're doing. Tucson. Tucson. We're in Tucson.

Oh, last night we were in Glendale in that, at Stir Crazy. Which you guys do off the cuff? No. Oh, okay. Wait, is that a show there? It's a venue in Glendale. Oh, no, no, no. We did Stir Crazy.

It was just a one-off show. It was fine. It was really fun, actually. That room's great. Have you been to that room? No. The room's amazing. I think it's 120 max.

Perfect shape. Yeah, we had a smaller audience, but it was still rocking. It felt great up there right away. It's in the middle of a very like vegas mall entertainment district oh it's a weird it's weird yeah glendale is a really weird like spot i noticed when i was there i was only on like that one little strip of like where the shops and stuff are yeah it's so weird because then it's just surrounded by garbage like yeah they just crammed all that they're like let's put all of the entertainments

here like the hockey stadium is there you know comedy club movie theater dave and buster's like a mall it has everything cheesecake factory just like every single improv in the country yeah and a giant fountain in the middle you have to waste that water so everybody feel i don't know yeah it's a weird it was fun uh they definitely had they you know it had the standard like portraits of comedians on the wall they were so committed to only having men on the wall that they had a portrait of bill murray and we're like he doesn't do stand-up. Like, you really had to dig for this one. There's 40 portraits on the wall and you're like, I mean, I guess before we put up a woman,

we'll just put up this actor, comedic actor, Bill Murray. I love when they have all comedians that you know never played there or ever would. Well, it's like a brand new place, too. Lenny Bruce. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like a brand new place, too. Lenny Bruce. Oh, really? Yeah, it's brand new. That's so funny. The jukebox in Peoria has Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor,

two people that are from Peoria. Sure. And I used to say, you should put up – don't say they're from Peoria. They left Peoria. That's the only reason you know who they are. Yeah, and they never played this club. No, never would.

But otherwise, it was fun. Flagstaff, weird place. I don't know. Yeah, we've just crawled all over this fucking strange state we've heard. I love your tweet about, hey, four nights in Arizona, and they haven't disappointed us by not having a dead animal's head on the wall. We've performed under so many carcasses. I mean, starting in Bisbee, which, you know, I mean,

they just have all kinds of wacky shit in there. Had them found a clown mask and a wheel. And then it's like, it's such a town of carnies that Matt, you're from Matt. Becker is the ultimate carny. He's just like, yeah, once we get this wheel up and going, we'll really be in business. And we were like, I don't know why a comedy club needs a wheel,

and I'm not going to ask. It's just, that's his vision. Becker's a gadget guy. Even when we were a kid touring comics he'd always he'd ask him for a lighter and he'd start emptying his pockets and there's a rubber glove and like just weird shit but you know he does magic so he's got some he used to he once uh rigged up a can of butane with pvc tube up the sleeve over the shoulder and then out the other wrist so when he'd see a girl lighting a cigarette he'd go up and go oh you need a light and he'd light

the cigarette but he'd hit the butane in his other pocket so a flame four feet long would come yeah everyone is just like, yeah, there's some sort of performance personality down there where you're like, show me what you got. It's clowns. It was so fun. But I think, yeah, and then people aren't even just like drinking at the bar. They're like, let's have a contest to see who can push this tape measure

up to the ceiling without it falling over. There's like always an activity to do, which is nice. You love it. contest to see who can push this tape measure up to the ceiling without it falling over there's like always an activity to do which is nice yeah you love it yeah he's he's the best bartender ever yeah i mean i know he's he owns this place now so he's got he's you know wearing a lot of hats but when he was up in anchorage and it's just bartending is, you know, have like one of those power squirt guns with a dildo on it, giving tequila shots to gals. Sure. Steve's a bartender, and I think, I feel like very few people are like truly great at it.

Oh, yeah, we had a great time. I've met nothing but great bartenders. There's a lot of like beautiful, beautiful women bartenders, too. And it's like, what are you doing here? How did you get here? I want to know the whole story. I want to know the story. How did you two meet up?

Olivia is a comic from LA, but she's like a gypsy, and she disappears for months on end. Yeah, I mean, you're so great and funny, and I love you so much. Thank you. But you disappear for months, years at a time now to New York, but then you left New York. And then I saw you were opening up for Doug. Doug, how did you guys first meet? I have no idea. You'd have to tell me.

Yeah, go, Olive. Well, I've always been a fan of yours, and I would pop into your shows whenever you came through Orange County or whatever. And so we met a And, um, and so we met a couple of times then. And, um, and then I was on the road and I came through Bisbee on Thanksgiving and I sent you a message on Twitter, like, can I come by your house? And you were like, sure, but I'm going to forget. And then I showed up and you were like, do I know you? And I was like, oh, he really did forget. And then I reminded you that I was like, oh, you said we can come over on Thanksgiving.

And you were like, oh, okay, cool. And then it ended up being this like potluck thing with all your neighbors were there watching football. And, you know, and then as the night went on, there were people there. So you were like, you want to do stand-up in the funhouse bar and i did and that's how we met you know basically you and eric the g eric yeah eric something jewish eric friedman yeah and i remember him because he had his his thing was uh uh i uh i'm a dude it goes a bit, but he had coasters. Yeah. It's about being roofied and looking like a girl.

He got roofied because he looked like a chick back then. I mean, that sounds like merch to me. That sounds like merch to me. So he had a coaster to put on top of your drink that says, I'm a dude. But he left a bunch, and that's how I remembered him. Merch works. That's smart. Oh, yeah, anything can be merch and that's how I remembered him. Merch works. That's smart. Oh, yeah, anything can be merch.

I mean, I've sold some ridiculous stuff. I love that, like, I was into some weird shit as a younger person and as a teenager. Like Jesus, maybe the weirdest thing you can be super into. Cool. But I love the idea of, like, what, an 18-year-old person? Like, I love Doug Stano. I was, like, 16, I think think when I saw No Refunds for the first time and I was like this is really cool. That's a weird little girl.

Yeah I've always been weird I don't know what happened to me but yeah so yeah I've just been I've been a fan of Doug's for a while so it was cool to get to meet you and then now to work with you it's really neat. Do you still think it's cool or is it wearing off? No I'm over it. Now it's just fine.

Did you know that you were going to be a comic? She didn't. I mean, she started when she was a kid. I started when I was like 16. I saw the movie the first time at a show. I did a show in Long Beach. She doesn't remember this. I probably don't.

And there's an open mic after. So, I mean, I can't believe they let you into bars because you look like a Cabbage Patch bars because you look like a cabbage patch kid. You look like a cabbage. I mean, if you think she looks like one now, she really looked like one. But she's 15 years old, 16 years old. I remember I

asked her and I complimented you. I was like, oh, you're funny. You were jokes weren't great or anything, but you could tell. I mean, you were actually pretty terrible. I remember being terrible for like a very long time. That's normal. Still a slow crawl

towards competency, but... But you can always tell when somebody, even if they're brand new, you could tell if someone's a funny and smart person. Yeah. So you don't need to have

the jokes that you just go, oh, this person's great. And then you've come so far by then. So yeah, it's great to see you again. It's good to see you too, man. I think you're awesome.

And you still look like a 15- old yeah that's funny that's good you should be in la more often because they love that shit you're gonna look young for a long time not just a 15 year old boy but like the the big boy that uh plays line like varsity when you should be jv yeah i don't know there's a little like river phoenix and stand by me thing going on yeah she definitely has a guard a jv guard thing going on i don't mind that uh what what pushed you you know i'm gonna do it anyway because you you're now you're presenting it but she's had to show me up until last week how long have you had that tattoo oh god like five years let's see it it's doug stanhope's autograph it's a quote of a bit i didn't even remember the quote of the bit so you showed up in that

half shirt yeah boredom is a disease worse than cancer uh how old were you when you got it i i was like 17 maybe 16 or 17 You signed it and I actually tattooed it to myself Because I had a tattoo machine That I would play around with Because I didn't have any friends No that's how bad my signature really is It's completely illegible

Why did you relate so hard To that one quote in particular As a teenager you're like fuck boredom yeah i i i don't know what it was i can't i think it was a bit about legalizing drugs and i said oh uh bored about medicinal marijuana i said boredom is a disease worse than cancer drugs cure it gotcha which is weird because i'm not really even that into drugs i don't know why that was the one that i picked that's why you left that part off yeah um yeah i don't know i think i just always get connected with with doug and just like comedy i don't know you were young curmudgeon yes yeah still are still am yeah it's so i mean your parents feel about this my loves you. My mom thinks you're so funny.

So it's not rebellion. I'm not the black guy you're dating to make your dad angry. She doesn't date black guys. She dates old guys. I swear to God, she never looked at me with any kind of attraction until she found out I was in my late 30s. And then, wow, those lies really lit up. Yeah, that's why I'm not attracted to you, Steve.

And are you two parents still that are together? They're complicated. I don't really understand their friendship. But your dad's fine with you hanging out with Doug? I guess, yeah. Where are they? They're in Orange County, yeah. It's funny because I hung out with so many older men as a younger person because of church,

and I can't believe my parents allowed that. I still don't understand this church thing. Sorry to interrupt you. Oh, yeah, no, please. We're swapping. Yeah, well, when you texted me, oh, it's about God, I thought you were, like, being funny. No. But I couldn't tell, and that's why I wrote back, I'm all about it.

And I still can't tell if you're Christian or not. I'm not currently, but I was for many, many years. You say currently like you might switch back at any moment. That's always the worry. You say currently like you might switch back at any moment. That's always the worry. I feel like that's a real worry for Amy sometimes because she really is scared of the afterlife. One day at a time.

Oh, are you really? Yeah. I don't think that I will go back at this point. But it's a weird thing. When you know that you are capable of being brainwashed that intensely for so long, then I can't say with 100% certainty that it wouldn't happen again. You know what I mean? I would hope so. I mean, now I have, I think, a more rebellious nature

because I know that that happened and I bought into some bullshit. Now, are you talking normal brainwashing, like just raised that way? No, well, my parents weren't religious. I did it on my own. My sister and I did it on our own. It's a whole long story, but my parents weren't religious. I did it on my own. My sister and I did it on our own. It's a whole long story.

But my parents weren't religious. We just sort of started going to church, I think, because we needed adult supervision and people that cared. Because our parents were never home and they were drunks. Steve used to be a megachurch pastor. Yeah, I used to pastor at a megachurch. So I grew up in that stuff too That translates well to comedy Absolutely

I used to preach I used to come up with series I would preach for a month and take a week off But that same place where I get jokes from Where the Holy Spirit delivers That same thing is the same place I get jokes from Where I used to come up with sermons and everything I knew it wasn't up to me.

It was whatever that thing is. I just had to make room for it there. Do you ever, like when you're playing Flagstaff, go, fuck, if I was doing mega church, I'd be making so much bank and now I'm playing to 28 people? Oh, no, absolutely. I just tweeted something like that too. 28 is generous. If I gave my life back to Christ, I would be fucking rich.

Like that. I know exactly how to do it. Why can't you just lie? You can. Most of them. Yeah, they are. I mean, the church that I used to work at, they live, I'm from West Covina. The church is in West Covina.

It's like primarily Latino, about 15,000 people. The senior pastor's white. They live in Newport Beach, and they fucking just come in on Sunday. And nobody talks to the senior pastor. And they're rich. Yeah, he has a couple of guys that are like there that you can't talk to. But even for comedy, like Steve could go clean and do churches, but he's a pervert.

I mean, what do you mean? The church is built for me. You're a sex comic. Yeah, yeah, I'm a sex comic. I can't do anything like that. I've considered, not seriously, but I thought to do a fake conversion and a born-again thing just to go out. If I could write the material, but I couldn't write. I wouldn't even recognize that as humor.

Right. What I need to deliver. You didn't grow up in it at all? I grew up. humor, what I need to deliver. You didn't grow up in it at all? I grew up, my dad went to church just for the social aspect and making senior lunch and doing that, but he was not religious at all. Yeah. No, I mean, if you've grown up in it, I know what it looks like. I can tell if someone's a Christian a mile away. I can tell what kind of Christian they are. You see it in their eyes. Yeah. You could, I mean, I could go back easy. It's just speaking a language. It's just a culture.

But to do Christian comedy and go out and make a big spectacle of it and take a lot of their money and then at the end just go, just fucking with you. Do a tour. You thought I changed. I mean, yeah, there's also comics we know, like Taylor Tomlinson, who just performed Clean. She's not a Christian comic, but she makes a shit ton of money doing churches and religious events, as far as I know, because it's just like clean, simple.

Not simple. She's a good writer. But, you know, just like cute jokes. I'm talking televangelist comedy. I love that. Well, you've got the suits for it. Yes, I do. Leap of faith.

You see that movie, Steve Martin? Fucking fantastic. Inspiring. That's almost what inspired me to start doing four-walling. Doing rock and roll clubs instead of comedy clubs where we could do our own thing and uh yeah which we were talking about last night we should have maybe tried to do a little bit more on this myspace days i'd make up fake hot chick profiles in towns

we're going to where we had no draw and like a lot of dudes in the area and finally say oh yeah i'm going to doug stanhope comedy show. You should meet me there. That's so smart. People do that shit a lot with Tinder now, I think, right? Like promote their shows by just matching with everyone possible and then being like, meet me at this bar at eight o'clock. That's great. And then they go on stage.

I think the thing that keeps us from doing anything really evil is that my mom still leans on it. I know her mom still leans on it heavily. So it's like I've come from a place where it's like you get mad and then you're a little bit atheist-y. But then you're like, I don't know how my mom would get through this life. She's had such a fucking rough life that even today when we have conversations and stuff, it's like I am grateful for whatever the fuck she believes in because if she really if she thought what i thought if she believed in what i believed she she would be kind of i think it would be pretty sad for her it'd be heartbreaking yeah if you're harvesting fields in iowa and freezing cold or whatever and you have town of 400 people you'll never leave you might need a jesus yeah yeah that was always what i don't know your relationship with bill

maher if you know him at all but that fucking okay good good good i mean i was hoping but you never know in comedy you're just like fuck this person and someone's like that's my best friend and you're like no he's great um but that fucking religion documentary i mean i couldn't i had to turn it off because he's literally talking to a trucker in a little trucker church being like, you're an idiot. You know, what you believe is fucking stupid. Right. And this dude's just like, I'm in a truck all day, you know? Just like hauling people's shit around and I'm alone.

Why can't I? And just like, you're such a dick, Bill Maher. He's one of those guys that even when I agree with him, which is lot of the time he's just you know kill the messenger yeah definitely kill the messenger because he's such an obnoxious twat sure and anybody that's i mean i i have an aversion to anyone who's like i 100 know that i'm right about this thing or anything it's just tough for me i don't know maybe because i grew up around religious people like you just how can you be the one that knows know that I'm right about this thing or anything. It's just tough for me. I don't know. Maybe because I grew up around religious people. How can you be the one that knows anything a hundred percent? Like we're all just regular people. Yeah. Yeah. This is one of those podcast pauses where I go,

should I burn that bit right now? Do it. I know. I just did a special, so that wasn't in it. So that's one of the few chunks I can still go out on the road and do. So I'm not going to burn the bit. But it's about becoming less atheist. Oh, okay. Oh, that's a good bit. Yeah, don't burn it. No.

I'll tell you after. All right. Well, without doing the bit. I'll work skits at the table. Is that something that's happening to you? I'll work skits at the table. Is that something that's happening to you? It's in that to be a true atheist, not a true, but all the logic that leads you to atheism means you have to discount all the fun superstitions that are stupid and silly too.

I want to believe in a lot of other things. I want to believe everything happens for a reason sometimes. It's a litany of those kind of things. Yeah. Yeah. Karma. Well, again, any— But you don't believe in any of those things. But it's fun to.

You have a song stuck in your head, some obscure song, and then you get in your car and you put on the radio, and that song is playing right then. You go, fuck, that was just, yeah, it's coincidence. I feel like I've conjured people that way too. Like I'll just be like on the bus thinking about a friend and then step off the bus and they're right there. And it's like, I feel like it was brought here. Yeah, I want to believe that's some kind of synchronicity in life.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, I hear you. Especially in love when it comes to romance and stuff. You don't want to be a bitter atheist going, there's i just thought of her it's just random circumstance i want to believe that there's a little bit of fucking magic there yeah of course and i think the same logic that gets you to the place that there's no god then you realize after a while that there's no way we could possibly understand what time or anything really means anyway so that same thing that gets you to that initial place of atheism is the thing that goes, I don't understand what a molecule is.

And the fact that we're on this planet is as miraculous as anybody walking on water. So we can go fuck ourselves. Olivia, if you're a Doug Stanhope fan since you're 15 or 16, there's no way you believe in God, right? It's so interesting that you ask that because i was right can you actually do me guess what i was raised i feel my i feel mega church because of orange county that's that's a fair guess okay but yeah i'm gonna go like evangelical mega like a presbyterian you're almost right

actually we grew up catholic but i then my mom now is involved with almost a megachurch. What's it called? The Saddleback Church. Yeah, Saddleback's Megachurch. Oh, it's a megachurch? It's one of the biggest megachurches in the country. It's very famous. Rick Warren, he created the idea of the megachurch.

Wow. Yeah. That goes to show you I haven't been in a long time. Yeah, exactly. He wrote a book called the purpose-driven church that is what everybody has been off of it's the idea of interesting sundays they have the big outer circle you get the people to wednesdays then into small groups there's all this stuff that but he is the guy it's a corporation oh yeah like how to make a

church a business yeah rick warren, well, then Amy was right. I knew it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that is fucking big business in Orange County. And it's like, you know, it's like one of the few conservative places in the entire state. So, like, why not create the megachurch there? Of course it would come out of there. Yeah, a lot of board housewives with a lot of money. Were you involved, involved, or you just kind of hung back?

I would go, but my mom wanted me to be confirmed when I was a teenager in the Catholic church. And I just didn't want to do it. It didn't make any sense to me, even at that point. But I don't know. I would never say that I'm a complete atheist. I'm kind of more in the vein of, like But I don't know. I would never say that I'm a complete atheist. I'm kind of more in the vein of like, I don't know, but I think that there's a lot of like philosophies behind certain religions

that have helped me be a better person. Like what? Just knowing, like for me right now, knowing that I'm doing something for the right reason is really cool. How do you know if you're doing that or not? That's a really good question. I didn't realize this was a podcast where you guys were going to really dig into that.

It's a God cast, Olivia. Yeah, no, no. It's a God cast. When you say for the right reason, do you mean for art? For art's sake? I don't know. Or for nobility. Do you mean like ethics?

I think this is a really hard way to phrase what I'm actually thinking. I'm also afraid you guys are going to jump down my throat if I say anything. Oh no, you don't do that. I do. It's a swap cast. You can find mercy on that

side of the bar no i uh i i mean this sounds kind of abstract but knowing that i'm doing something out of like i don't think a moral compass is anything abstract if that's what you're saying no not so much that but like if i'm writing something or doing something i know that if i'm not doing it for myself i'm not doing it for my own selfish reasons for like the sake of success or fame as much as i try to keep in mind it's also for other people that makes any sense you're doing it for art yeah i guess so yeah you could say that yeah and none of it's selfish or you just try to keep yourself away

from those motivations? Yeah, I definitely try to keep myself away from the motivations of like fame. I mean, like it's still there on some level. Like you want to make money and you want to have recognition. Yeah. That's so stupid.

This is why I guess you're a fan of Doug Stanhope's. Well, yeah. This is, I don't, you know, what are we supposed to say here? If comedy is a religion and it kind of is, I mean, would you say it's yours? I would say it's a church. Yeah, it's definitely a church, right? Then you are like your own, definitely your own branch. You do have a John the fucking, we're literally in the fucking desert.

He's calling you a saint right now. No, but you could have made more you could have you could have made more money right i mean i think that's why people were drawn to what you do is because you've done something else you've gone to the desert the wilderness so i mean you made that choice right i'm sure there was a time i would have sold out but again i i wouldn't know how to do that I wouldn't recognize that as comedy to write it like right I mean I and early on I mean like early days in LA you were actively trying not sell out but like have paid I was doing work in the industry yeah because that's you know I had an invite and that's what you're supposed to do, and that's what you're supposed to want.

And yeah, it took 10 years to figure out, I'd rather just do the road. Right, right, right. I want to be part of this. Well, it's hard to do both. I mean, it's hard to make money there without compromising some authenticity or what your purist motivations are. I totally agree with that. Yeah. I mean that's a huge reason why I admire you so much is because I see the way that you treat

comedy like a business and you're not an employee so much of like the entertainment industry but you do it your own way. You're a boutique. A boutique industry. But I mean like if you want to do your own thing and you're selling yourself you can only section that off into so many things.

And stand-up is the... Even if you had complete creative control doing television, you still don't have full control. There's still writers. There's still a network. There's still people to answer to. And there's money to answer to always but have you i mean it seems like you've actively tried to like not compromise your voice or authenticity at all yeah well when i when it became a brand right yeah and comedy got a lot

harder then like i used to be able to fuck off at a comedy club, and you're getting a flat rate, and fuck you if you don't like me in the comment cards. But, yeah, once people were coming to see me rather than just comedy, it put pressure on you. Right. I'm not doing that same act twice in that town. Right. And how do you feel about that?

Do you like your fan base? They're not listening don't worry the the ones i don't like uh are the ones but like you the the really good ones like yeah i do have doctors and lawyers and shit that come to my show they're not on twitter right shitting on you at two o'clock in the morning. It's a wide spectrum of people that come. So generally, yes. Yeah, it's a weird thing.

Well, also those people on Twitter shitting on you also aren't that usually in person. I always have this thing opening for Segura where I'm like, God, I mean, online, so many of his fans are fucking awful. And then you go and usually it's like 2,000 sweethearts, you know, who are respectful and laugh and buy your shit, and they seem like normal, hardworking folks. Well, I do, for obvious reasons, get a lot of drunks.

Sure. And a lot of bad drunks. Pre-game and furthest down, Hope Show. Yeah. Drinking wild turkey at 10 in the morning and then they're passed out. Oh, you make it look cool. You don't really kick anybody out of your shows or anything, though, do you? Only for being drunk, like people passing out.

Yeah. Then you got to go. Well, I mean, clubs can't really legally have them sleeping in there anyway. Well, they'll sleep better in other places anyway. Not like a bed or a car. No, I know. I've watched Olivia's career. You could probably still cash in, right, Ollie?

You mean on like industry stuff? Yeah. I mean, I go back and forth about it because I wonder if part of me is sabotaging myself out of like a fear of rejection you know that's my technique yeah i worry about that a lot because if you only work the road you can't get rejected by the six people who come really you know and if you do then it's like it's not that hard it's not as hard as like oh you know right now I want to I'm working on a movie script just because I I want to give it a shot I want to see if I can even do it and um and I like I don't know if that's like gonna um

yeah I guess I get really scared that if I put that out there and it becomes something and I get to experience some kind of growth that that might also hold back my ability to tour and kind of build my act if that makes any sense yes is it yeah uh as an analogy yesterday I said to her I go every time I always feel like I'm missing somebody well I want to sunburn I'm out here in the desert I want to sunburn but if I'm out here I feel like I should be in there writing and like I'm missing something. I want a sunburn. I'm out here in the desert. I want a sunburn. But if I'm out here, I feel like I should be in there writing. And if I'm in there writing, I'm like, why am I wasting all this good sun in a dark basement? Whatever I'm doing, I feel like I'm missing something else. So I end up just stuck doing nothing.

Yeah, it's a grass is greener analogy. Like, I don't know. And I don't even know if it's that binary. Like, if actually going through with something and taking on some challenges in television or film, if that actually is binary and that does make it harder, or if it's just... Catherine, can you look up binary for me? Let me open one of her books. I was thinking of that too.

I think the thing that keeps people like us then from being happy is, is it just ambition? I mean, if you didn't have ambition artistically... It's a very specific kind of ambition. Yeah, I mean, I said artistically too even. So it's not even like, it's not tied to money or quote unquote success. Well, more than that, I think if you specifically have ambition to do stand up and perform a lot it's kind of a

self-sabotaging sickness a lot of the time because like you're saying like you want to do all this stuff but you don't want it to interfere with you doing road gigs exactly maybe you won't feel like that forever but i mean you've always felt like that, right? I mean, your one study thing is you've always performed. I can step away from, I just took nine months off and never thought about going on stage once. Yeah. I only go on stage for business. I don't go out for fun. Well, occasionally, but randomly. But you used to, I mean, you had a period in your life where you had to perform all the time. Yeah, early on. To just feel. I was going to say when I was her age, but I wasn't even doing comedy yet when I was her age.

Yeah. I know. It's really hard to imagine. But you're 23 now? Yeah. All right. That's when I started. And do you, I mean, I feel like anything that you would write would be great and you'll get the script done that you want to make but then if you got to the point where you did kind of get what you want and have to sort of compromise you know in

the process of getting that thing made like does that process freak you out it does a lot it really does because i i guess i just really i What am I trying to say? I like I worry about Too much exposure Too soon I worry about people Coming to shows

Just to see Me But not Like But my stand-up's Not there yet And then they Feel cheated

You know Cause I know Oh your stand-up is there Thank you so much I mean You have to also Keep in mind Like How often like people get things very young that their stand-up is not ready for and it truly doesn't affect them that much

I just get to bomb for a long time until I get a tv show that nearly happened to me too I got I got lucky I fell into the roast battle stuff really young and then right at the same time I I started doing it just for fun they picked it up and it's a tv show and all that stuff and I got agents and managers and I just couldn't like follow through on a lot of the stuff I was getting because I would get these like showcase shows like JFL and I would bomb because they like I didn't even know how to do a five minute set you know I coasted on riffing for such a long time so I I moved to New York to try to get better at stand-up for a little bit and I'm so glad that I did that because I think um I think if I had tried to like sell a tv show at like 19 I would

be a monster right now and I would be the I would be not only the worst person but I would be not only the worst person, but I would be so unfunny and bitter. You'd be Lena Dunham. I don't know. So, I don't know. I mean, it's hard to imagine. I feel like it's for the best, but I also came to stand up very late, I think. When did you start? I started at 30. Oh, I know.

I mean, it's late for most people, I guess. You are very funny. I was watching clips last night. Oh, thanks, Doug. I try. people you're very funny i was watching clips last night oh thanks doug um i try but i do often think like oh if i had got if i had started earlier and gotten anything at 22 23 i'd be mortified to see it in the world you know yeah no that makes sense that's i worry about that too like like am i gonna look back on anything i make now and be like wow i fucking suck but i do think that that's part of growth. Everybody.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you must have stuff out there that you're like, oof. Oh, yeah, there's a clip of me three months in with a flowing mullet and some weird accent. I had some kind of New York affectation or talking out of the corner of my mouth. Wicked embarrassing. You just picked it up from someone else?

Someone unearthed that old video. I have no idea what I was doing. I remember trying to not sound like Andrew Dice Clay because he was the catalyst that got me to start open mics. I can't sound like him, but I think I was. Do you know him now? Have you known him? I've met him a couple of times. Yeah. Why was he the one that made you want to? He was huge at that time. Right. I was 22, 23.

He was at his height. And it was such, you know, him and Kinison were against the whole grain of Jerry Seinfeld's and Paul Reiser's and all that evening at the improv shit. And now you get, you know cunt fuck fist fuck that's it he spoke my language at 22. it's interesting to me that it would be dice because he is essentially a character and you i mean did you have like an early version where you were not yourself i was yeah not myself at all i was writing bits just you know all right this might get a laugh like for shock value thought into it yeah shock value or observational whatever

just anything i thought might get a laugh i had no point of view i was trying to get pussy and did it work you're not you're not allowed to say that anymore but why do you think i'm still doing this give me a break you're not for art you can say that you want pussy you talk about getting your ass eaten on stage like you're throwing it out there you got to be cool about it i'm just saying that people you know people that we run with you're not allowed to say this is the reason why i still do stand-up i disagree i don't run with people like that i think it's fine we're friends then i mean i didn't know that was your only motivation. That's weird. It's my sole

motivation why I do anything. Steve's doing it for the right reasons. Yeah, and the ass-eating. Now that I've had that happen, it's been great. Do you do your bits about ass-eating? Do you have people come up to you afterwards and be like, I'll eat your ass? I have

different reactions. I have women of the past three shows have been like oh they'll be like thank you for talking about that i love eating ass you need to get that more out there and stuff like that that's just asking if if that's ever got is your ass eating bit ever gotten your ass no i've only i've only i stopped drinking six months ago so i don't know how to have sex with anybody yet sober. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm the only person who's ever eaten my ass is my girlfriend.

So praise God to her. So I've got a bit. You'll see the bit. I know that that's real, but it's so far. I don't know. I guess if it's never been hard to get laid, then it's just like my last motivation for doing stand-up. If anything, I've tried to morph more into doing fewer things for men's approval

because I'm so angry at this point. Oh, yeah, well, as a woman, it's got to be completely different. Yeah, yeah. When you and I, she alludes, Amy just alludes to how many men she's slept with, and you'll hear her name, and she'll be like, oh, yeah, you know, you and I, she alludes, Amy just alludes to how many men she slept with. And you'll hear a name or she'll be like, oh, yeah, that too. And I'm like, God damn, this woman's numbers are. I showed you the list, but from far away. The numbers are so beyond anything that I could have imagined.

All shapes and sizes, colors. We've got to, you know, the United Nations have been up there. I've never been with an Indian man. Oh, is that true? Yeah. Oh, but she said that was shame. Either kind? No, only from India.

I've been with a Native American man. Oh, have you? Yeah. Right on. I've been to Oklahoma, you know, Arizona. Sure. No, but yeah, so yeah, that's good to hear. I'm glad that you've accepted me for that too.

It's just a hilarious reason to do anything. But it makes sense. As a woman. But as a guy, what do you think? It's just funny how simple you guys are. And I just give you more credit often than is due. Like, of course, Doug hasn't been in this job for this long for pussy. That's crazy.

Yeah, but as a young young man that's your motivation for everything you do i know it's so weird why do you do it now then for money oh so do you really think you really do look at it like um like you're a plumber like you this is what you know how to do now and you know how to do it well well i know i don't know how to do it well all the just just trying to keep up the amount of material i have to write and find you know new points of view or after this long it's hard to yeah so it's about every couple of years two or three years for you now that you put out something special yeah well that because i was i was writing a book i think that was three years since the last

one but i yeah i never stop and write a book. You've written two books now? Yeah, actually two books in that time. In a quick period of time. And I took nine months off. And you sit down and you write the books. Yeah. Did you think you had that in you?

Once I cashed the check and I go, oh, shit. Now I have to. I better have it in me. You really did get it for that first one? You got it in advance? Yeah. And then you're like, oh, I have to you really did get for that first one you got an advance and then you're like oh I have to do this now and it never occurred to you to have a have a ghostwriter or someone working with you

it's like saying would you have someone write your material no to me writing a book seems like such a huge thing that once you've done it now you must take almost greater pride in the fact that you're a writer than a stand-up, huh? Oh, no.

No, fuck no. My books aren't that good. It just seems so hard. That's not true. They're very good. I'm saying that as my stand-up. If I look back, I would look at stand-up that I did that was good more than anything I wrote in a book.

You can look back at your work like that and be like, God damn, I was fucking, I was on fire. I did. Yeah, during that nine months off, I went out and I'd just drive the back roads of Arizona and listen to all my specials in the car. I couldn't in front of people. It used to be I couldn't at all anyway, except for the edit.

You know, all right, cut that out, cut that out. That sucks. Cut that out. And you feel. That sucks. Cut that out. And you feel a strong sense of pride about it. But I went back and I listened to, you know, 13, 14 years worth of shit. And starting with that quote on Deadbeat Hero, and I went, yeah, there's some pretty fucking strong shit in there. Do you like that guy when you hear him?

Do you like that? A lot of them. Yeah, there's only one that I hated in Oslo. One special or one joke? Yeah, because we taped it out of convenience when it was not ready to be taped, and I knew that, but they go, this guy will film it. We can get it filmed for nothing, and he's here. So, yeah, against my better judgment, I let that go out.

It would have been great eight months later. Right. So, yeah, against my better judgment, I let that go out. It would have been great eight months later. Right. It's really amazing because I don't, you know, I'm not that far into comedy, but I mean, I can't really listen to things from like two years ago. I feel proud of myself on the whole, and I feel like I'm good for where I am. You know, not amazing. But I can't. I don't know.

I don't have that, like, necessarily, like, a deep sense of pride in all of my material. It's pretty impressive. Don't you think? Yeah, I think so. I also think it's really interesting how polished you are as a comic. Oh, me? No. Oh. I can't.

What? I can't see. Yeah, we can't see your eyes, dummy. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I, uh, yeah. I'm, um. like oh yeah we can't see your eyes oh sorry sorry yeah um how polished you are as a comic you can go back and you can go i if eight months from now that would have been a more polished special because i think that you come off like you're not like very like off the top of your head which i'm sure is by your own design but but it's really impressive too, to go back and, you know, see where you could have tightened the bolts or whatever.

It's interesting to hear that from you. One thing about being drunk every night is a lot of times it is off the top of your head. Cause you're just trying to remember how does this go? I know this bit. I should know this bit. Yeah. Are you pretty, are you organized at all about recording and writing stuff down the next day? Now I have to. My memory's shot.

So yeah, if I take even a few days off, I'll go back and listen to the last set and make sure I'm hitting my beats. Yeah. I'm so bad about doing that. Do you feel a deep sense of pride in your material, Steve? No, stop it. I really want to know. I don't really even, you know, I don't have my first album out. I recorded it, but I didn't like it. I wasn't happy with it. So we'll see. I just use comedy to figure out who I am

and what I care about. So I don't really, I haven't really thought about selling myself yet. Although, you know, I'm pretty good on Instagram, but I haven't figured out exactly what I am yet. And I feel like that's coming in the next year or two. I know that I'm funny and I can make people laugh and I have some nice big chunks. But also it's like I haven't looked at my body of work yet as that thing. Do you feel like you have to settle into a thing that you are? I mean, do you feel like a lot of people like you are pigeonholed into a specific thing, and that's why you feel like you don't know?

I mean, I feel like you have a strong voice. Yeah, we'll see. Cool, good interview. We never talk about my stuff when we usually talk to the other people. It's a swap cast. You can talk about yourself. Yeah, that's true. How long have you been doing it?

Me and Amy have been doing it about the same amount, so coming up on nine years. Wow. I mean, yeah, I'm a good comic. I and Amy have been doing it about the same amount, so coming up on nine years. Wow. I mean, yeah, I'm a good comic. I don't have any qualms about that. But, yeah, my first piece I almost put out, it was really sex-heavy, and I just don't think – I almost think being sober, it feels to me like the next level for who I am because I felt kind of weird about being so sex-heavy, even though I've had a ton of sex,

and it's very important to me and I like to I mean it's all different you know women and men and creeds and all that kind of stuff but I also feel like it's been pretty lopsided and especially now that I'm sober and I'm like oh yeah it's kind of hard for me to fuck anybody now I'm open so I can do whatever I want pretty much but it's like Amy keeps trying to push different women on me in every city but I'm like I just don't I'm like, I just don't know what to do. I just want someone for you to flirt with since you can't drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so sweet.

I make sure he gets food and women. Yeah, so as much as I like sex and everything like that, I don't know how to operate in this place. Yeah, sober. I have no social skills. Yeah. I mean, I'm very charming and sociable and everything like that, but I don't. That's a different kind of socializing.

Yeah. Ass eating sober. Yeah. Exactly. I've had a lot of threesomes, and I imagine I'm going to get to the place where I can do this again. But my first threesome sober. If you were sober and someone was eating your ass, you would feel how repulsed we are when we imagine someone eating your ass. It's not that bad.

You've done it sober? Yeah. Morning ass eating? Sure. That's what I mean. Sex to me is such a huge deal then, too. So I'm exploring that stuff too. I feel like I'm going to get to that place on that stuff so that my jokes will mean more to me, more authentically, sexually.

Because it all still means the place. And tons of sober people are into swinging and doing crazy shit. I've got to make myself get to that place. How old are you? I'm 41. Yeah. Yeah. I guess when you're in the middle of that major of a life change and actually figuring out who you are as a person

and who you are as a stand-up comes along with that. Yeah, that's what I mean. I'm a great comic. I'm going to do great tonight. You know that I'm good and everything. Makes me laugh. I can't impress upon the crowd how great of a comic I am. Stop it.

We're not switching orders. I'm still going last. I cannot impress that enough. But to me, whatever's coming next, the turn is going to make the other stuff so much smarter and more interesting. Well, I was about that long. It was about eight years I was in

before I put out my first CD. And it was mostly sex stuff. It was the best of my first eight years. Yeah. And, yeah, that's not something I look. I don't listen to that. Yeah. But the next one was a lot smarter, and that's where I started to turn.

Yeah, and I could have put out, I still have the thing where I could put out the album, but I'm just like, it didn't feel authentic to me. It didn't feel, I know, especially now that I've gotten to the place where I'm sober and I'm not, it just doesn't, it's not authentic. So whatever's coming next, I'm going to mold it all together and it's going to be really fun and interesting. So, yeah, I don't, I'm not in any rush either. What am I, that's one cool, I started when I was 32. So I know what it's like to have a straight life.

I know what it's like to just work and then make dinner for my wife. Yeah, I don't work and make dinner for my wife and watch Bravo and be dying inside. So I'm not in any rush to fucking do anything. I have nothing to prove. If I wasn't doing this, I would be working a third bar tending shift a week. It would be nothing else. But being great at it. Yeah, sure, being great. I care about being good at it.

But, yeah, I'm not in any rush for anything except to figure out who i am and to be i guess i just worry and i don't know if this is true that being in la and being from la that you're that you also think about the marketability part which it's like i don't know i mean the authenticity seems like the most important thing like did you ever worry that you weren't a specific thing and you also were doing... Now a lot of people try to emulate you. How long did you live in LA for? 10 years.

10 years? 95 to 05. So that's a long time. Did you feel that creeping in to put out... Did you feel that pressure to put out stuff that would sell? No. Okay. You never cared.

No, I only cared later when I got to what I thought was good. I only cared about the shit I used to do. Gotcha. Doug Benson said when I first worked with him, I was like a year and a half into comedy at the improv in Vegas. And he said, yeah, we used to call you Doug Stand Up because all your bits are just kind of benign. Oh, you didn't really have a voice. No, no, it was all just dumb shit so then once you got good and you knew that you were authentic you just felt like that would be enough

to be marketable like this should sell because i'm a good comic i don't remember thinking about it much i mean i was getting enough road work where right i was making a living. I want to make a lot of money. Well, you'll need it if you're in L.A. I know. No, I don't need a ton. Steve wants to make $50,000 a year doing stand-up. Oh, what a dream to me. If I could make $50,000 a year out of comedy, that would be so cool.

But once we do our mega tour, Olivia, do you think that you learned enough from going to a mega church that you could fake being an evangelical comic for one tour, one year? I just don't think that I would, but I could. It's possible. Anything's possible. I feel like you'd make a great audience plant. With Doug as the preacher, a sweet young girl comes up and recommits her life to Christ. You'd be good at that character. I could do the laying on of hands. Yes. With Doug as the preacher, like a sweet young girl comes up and recommits her life to Christ. You'd be good at that character.

I could do the laying on of hands. Yes. In a not me too way. Oh, yeah. You could do like a little wheelchair thing and have him carry you. I see all this. You know what? I'll plan it.

No, I see the story. I see the story. Yeah, that could work. It could be good. Write the script. I mean, what do you want out could work. It could be good. Write the script. I mean, what do you want out of all this? You just want to perform right now. I just want to be, yeah, I really want to be a good comic more than anything.

That's what I've always wanted. And I think what's really interesting about what you guys are saying now about working the road and stuff, I think that when you working the road it was easier to make a living at it is that and there were far fewer comics yeah when that yeah we got charged for drinks last night so it's rough out there right now yeah two glasses of wine but i think what it takes to be a good comic is the years of practice and working the road and doing an hour and then shedding the hour and building another hour all that stuff and that's a really really challenging thing to do right now when a lot of us are either playing the clubs the small clubs or like trying to you know i mean i think part of it is you guys were sort of flying blind in the beginning and we have way too much fucking information there's all these different

sources where you know it's just like oh i'm supposed to be doing this and I'm supposed to be doing this. Why do we have an idea that you write a new hour every year? Because of Louis? I don't know. We just have all this information about what stand-up is supposed to be that it's hard to just do your thing a lot of the time. Yeah, there's a lot of shoulds. There's a lot of shoulds.

You should do this. You should. A lot of it is if you're a young person and you you have management you should try to sell a tv show yeah that's like what you should do or what a lot of people do that's what they want i mean yeah it's what a lot of people want you know and there's nothing wrong with that i don't think i just i just found that it doesn't work for me i think i but um but yeah there are a lot of shoulds in this. Like you should. It's good to know that. Just don't tell your manager that all you want to do is to stand up on the road.

I've tried to tell them that and they were like, oh, that's nice. And I didn't hear from them for a long time. Yep, that's what happens. Yeah, I mean, but you know. And when you do make money on the road, don't tell them about it because they had nothing to do with it. Fuck no. No. No. I mean, I don't have reps, but no.

When I've met with anyone, I'm like, you can't touch my stand-up money unless you get me the gig. And they're like, all right. I don't want that 200 dollars anyway and i'm like well it means a fucking lot to me so that's great but i don't think a lot of people have that conversation no no my manager thinks it's cute that i want a tour they think it's cute at best but they're not interested in the money so because they don't care about yeah comedy or people doing anything for authentic reasons. They got into a horrible business, you know, which is just like sell personalities for money.

I don't know. No, I think there definitely is a lot of that. And a lot of people fall into that trap. But I also think it works for some people. Like, oh, my God, that guy, Tim Robinson, has that sketch show on Netflix? Oh, yeah, I think you should leave. Yeah.

Yeah, like some people, it works for them. That's the way they showcase their talent and their personality you know and that's why they're that business exists is because there is a way to do it where it's not cheap but i also think a lot of people fall into it because they feel like they should and it just doesn't work out you know so that's that's the other side of it i think ambition is ugly you think so yes any kind of ambition back to well when you go back to L.A. and you go to the store and you see people that are still grinding

and angry and that should have been me kind of attitudes and you're fucking 50 some years old, man. Yeah. Yeah. I was back in L.A.

I was going to stay there for a while and I was going to stay at my friend's place and then that fell through so I didn't have a reason to stay anymore. And I noticed when i was back in la i was going to stay there for a while and i was going to stay at my friend's place and then that fell through so i didn't have a reason to stay anymore and i noticed when i was back that i was spending so much of my time avoiding like super negative people you know especially because i just opened for you in vegas and met so many cool people

that it really hit home how negative la is there's a lot of jealousy kind of like crabs in a bucket mentality where it's like if you get the thing then you you know, I'm going to make you feel you took it from me or I'm going to make you feel sorry about it so that you lose your confidence and you don't have the gumption to keep going or you know mistrust. Yeah. Yeah, I can't. I have

this idea but I can't say it because I don't like. You might take it. Yeah. You consider Doug at his core a positive person I I do I actually I think you're very encouraging and like really just I I love I love talking about comedy are there people you discourage no but I I remember you know in some interview where they go what advice would you give to new comics? And I go, I always say, get as much stage time as you can and all the rote things that one says to that question.

And then I go, but you think about it, most people who try comedy suck. So for me to say, stick with it, that's why fucking open mic lines are that long and there's 55 people signing up on a Thursday for open mic because everyone told him, get as much stage time as you can. Never quit. And now someone like Olivia Grace can't get a fucking five-minute set because a bunch of stupid assholes listen to me. Right. listen to me right and a lot of those I mean you have like your own voice and you're a fan of Doug's but I imagine you get a lot of like young dudes who are like I want to do what you're doing that was always the thing that like Crimmins would say as his number one advice was like don't try to do stand up like someone else that's my first bit of advice like if you don't have a voice of your own

don't do this be yourself basically which is like the oldest you know most classic advice but i mean so many people get into stand-up being like i want to do what stanhope does i want to do what this person does that's all i got it's fucking bizarre help me out uh i'm an open micer and no i uh no one they won't book me because i'm dirty i'm like no they use that as an excuse because you suck you went up and tried to you know just say fuck cunt retard yeah those words aren't funny if there's a craft to what i do i'm not just you know saying awful things yeah exactly and i've thought about that so much recently with you and like with Attell, that there's certain, you know, there's all this sort of whining and discussion right now of like, oh, we're not allowed to say all this stuff anymore.

And it's like, well, there's still a certain number of people that are just beloved and good and people don't get pissed at them. No one's ever mad at Dave Attell. And he says on paper, you know know a lot of the shit we're not allowed to say anymore every night yeah but he's like developed this level of trust I think someone like you know Big J has a lot of that too where people just like him and he says crazy shit to people's faces we also aren't working for anyone right like there's no sponsor that's going to drop us that's the thing it's like yes say whatever you want be ready for a certain level of consequences but also a lot of the people whining about this just suck they're bad at comedy and they're not

likable people i totally agree i agree i totally agree because i i i'm all for like if you can make a funny talk about it i don't think that anything's off limits. But I also see that there's a lot of people that have been doing this for a very long time that have never gotten that far. And they're like, oh, we can't make we can't make jokes about this anymore. It's like, well, no, it's not that it's that this audience of people, they're young and they they can go out and they can afford to see you because they don't have kids at home. And like they want to see you. But they've heard that joke about Asian drivers 50 times and that's why

they're not shocked. No, they're not shocked. It's because you're old and you're not you're not like trying anything new and then you're blaming everybody else. She's actually pointing at Doug when she's saying that. You guys can't see it because it's a podcast.

No, because you get away with this shit. When she calls me old, that means hot. See? We're bringing it back around. I mean, it bums me out specifically about someone like Nick DiPaolo where it's like, I like Nick face-to-face. I think he's a charming person. I think he's very funny.

Have you seen the new special that caused the ruckus? I watched some of it, and I couldn't really watch the whole thing. Did you see it? No, I was refusing to watch any comedy till I get that special tape. Smart. I think part of what bums me out is that sort of heel turn to be bitter about all this when it's like,

no, Nick, you're funny. You know, you don't have to do it as a thing that's explicitly like, I'm going to shock everybody because that can just continue to be likable. Yeah. Yeah.

He's always been like that. Yeah. That's his act. I mean, he's like so sweet in person. Yeah. But he's also probably not. I mean, as much guff as we're giving him, too. I mean, he's planned his tour route around Republican stalwarts around the country.

But he's making money. So he's making a living, and he's talking to his audience. It's just like Cameron Esposito doing it to her lesbian audience, you know? Sure. If you find your audience and you're just saying the things they want to hear, who gives a fuck? Right. I don't know. I guess because that bums me out.

It does suck because he's not. It's hard for us to say you're not Nick DiPaolo. You're not pushing yourself to be the funniest, most interesting version of who you are. Right. It's hard for us to say that because we don't know. I mean, I'll say it. No, that's a really interesting point, though, is because he does have like, I guess what I was talking about is people who just like refuse to update their craft or like progress as an artist. You're not talking about Nick DiPaolo specifically.

No, I wasn't talking about Nick DiPaolo specifically. No, I wasn't talking about Nick DiPaolo specifically. But that's what's interesting about it is that he's like doing like the, the, what he's supposed to do, but still like bitter towards this, like progressive, you know what I mean? I guess what I was talking about was the, the people who use political correctness as an excuse to just not be a better comic where like, he's still obviously a good comic objectively right well and then it spawns all these little pieces of shit open mic dudes right yeah that's what i want to do i want to push

buttons and it's like you don't know how to hold a microphone yet let's not be dangerous you know right yeah that's exactly what i meant and then their whole three minutes is like oh too soon oh you guys are sensitive it's like no they can't hear you yeah that's so funny and i get yeah i mean the whole like emulation of anybody is terrible i mean if someone you know a young lesbian open mic-er wanted to be like cameron esposito that would infuriate me too trust me i've seen, I've seen it. It's pretty bad. Yeah, yeah. Name some names, Olivia. No, no, I try not to do that too much.

So we haven't really talked that much about God, but how do you get by? I mean, is there anything that you cling to or believe in that is like keeping you alive and sane? The alcohol. It's delicious. No, no, I have really no belief system at all. Did you ever have any plans of stopping? Or you were just like, I'm going to drink probably till I die? No, I know I'm going to drink today. He takes it one day at a time.

Well, see, I don't, you know, because this is a, we call it a religion podcast, but it's also an ethics podcast. And you strike me as someone who's very ethical. You have rules and values that you live by. So this isn't just about religion, but it's also, there are things that you value that you line up your life that way, correct? I guess, again, moral compass yeah and i i break those ethics here and again but that's what you know that's what they're there for yeah you clearly care for people and value like you know hospitality and like um yeah sharing being, yeah. I like being a good host. I work hard at it. Were you ever not?

Where did you get that idea from? Well, when I was living out of my car in those years. But that's a – I mean, for a man to – I think I've always been generous. Okay. I mean, for a man to be like, I want to take care of these people. I want them to feel safe and all that. That's not a typical trait, I think, that you find everywhere. Oh, no. So when did that turn? Men love to be like, I want to take care of these people. I want them to feel safe and all that. That's not a typical trait, I think, that you find everywhere.

Oh, no. Men love to be cared for. Did somebody do that for you? What's that all about? Yeah, I don't think I have answers for these questions. That's okay. But moving to Bisbee was a big thing. How old were you when that happened?

38, I guess. My age. Yeah, but all of a sudden you leave la and you you meet people you know your neighbors yeah and right you see the same people at safeway every day and then it's not like la where you so it's it's open to hosting i got a nice house no one has cable cable down there. So they all want to, you know, the people that do watch football would come over and we'd have football Sundays and everyone would bring stuff. And it's a small town. It's a community. It's not like, you know, in L.A. you can sort of be, you know, a lot of people just live there in a shitty way, you know. And because I live in Bisbee, I have more money.

I'm not spending $2,000 a month in rent anymore. So, uh, so yeah, you have more money that you can host. Right. But you think you would just like sort of came out of the womb, someone who was going to be generous and want to help other people as much as you help yourself. I was going to say I was raised that way, but I have a lot of questions about how much how you are raised affects who you are uh you know olivia grace was raised as a straight woman in orange county yeah we don't know what the fuck's going on with her anymore yeah that is interesting and haircut that's all that is interesting about that you know i do think that it all plays a part, but my parents weren't that. My parents were, you know, everybody, you're not allowed to talk bad about your parents when you're Mexican.

They don't listen to them. You know, they did the best they could, but it wasn't good enough, you know. I mean, he only hit you sometimes. Yeah, well, he did hit me for reasons. So I'll give you that. That helped out. But they're fine people now. They did do the best they can. It wasn't good enough.

But you've got to wonder where that stuff comes from. My brothers and my sister, we all turn out pretty good. But I don't know where that comes from. When my mother was dying, she was saying, I just want to know that i was a good mother and i lied and said yeah mom you're a great mom you have to lie yeah i don't know i feel i feel pretty heavily affected by how i was raised and who i was raised by specifically my mom but i also think some of those traits now are fully genetic like the the solitariness of like everyone in our family, because it's everyone, you know, like my grandfather's only friend was a tumbleweed. And his son, his namesake lives with a crow famously.

not religious at all and uh and she didn't you know subscribe to any of that but then she'd take us to astrologers have our charts done so all right yeah he might be right on the religion but that's the same kind of dumb shit right you've been a young person in la olivia are you into astrology no i've always thought it was kind of dumb. Psychics? You have a Doug Stanhope tattoo on your body. I do. Let's not judge people who believe in astrology too harshly. No, I mean, I don't believe in it either. I'm surrounded by it now.

But again, it's like you were saying about your mom, Steve. I'm happy that anyone finds comfort from it. If it helps like organize your world and how you deal with people, that's fine. Yeah. My birth mom, I was adopted and my birth mom was on all the drugs for a very long time. And the only thing that turned her life around was becoming a Mormon. And she's like one of my favorite people to talk to, even though I think Mormons are you know there's it's a very weird religion but it's helped her so much because it's helped her connect with something mormons other than drugs gave her a purpose you know and that's why i love talking to her because um she's such an awesome person yeah people need a thing yeah what's your thing? Comedy? Right now? Me? Comedy and really just trying to be a

good person too and therapy. Therapy's helping a lot. You got therapists out here or do you call someone? No, no, I call them. She just has Doug. Yeah, I love my therapist. He's a super smart guy. Quit your bitching and have a drink.

Do you? No, no no you never have no i was forced to when i was a kid do you have outlets like people you have people you're close to that you can talk to when you are struggling yeah yeah that's called drunk dialing sometimes drunk DMing even. Yeah, that's how we met. Yeah, I think maybe our official first contact. But I like it. I like a good middle-of-the-night debate. I don't know what the catalyst was, but I went through that DM thread because I'm like, I don't even know if I know her. So I think I said something untowards on Twitter and then apologized or something.

I don't even remember. Who cares? It's not real life. Yeah, whatever it takes, it got us here today. Should we ask the question? Absolutely. So we have a question we ask everyone, which is if you were going to have a religion or a church of your own, what are three things you would teach or practice there?

I think it would be more of a cult. Yeah, that's a good one. Start a cult down there. I feel Like you're kind of running one already. Yeah, the problem is I'm so apathetic or I'd have grandiose ideas at night for my followers and we're going to do this. And then when everyone rallies in the morning to do it, I'd go, I said that?

That's stupid. I don't want to go hiking. You're caught. Three things. I'd go, I said that? That's stupid. I don't want to go hiking. Get back in your cot. Three things. Don't be mean. Don't be cheap. And bring ice. People always forget about ice. People always forget about ice.

I know. You can never have too much. It's so bad we didn't bring anything today. Real pieces of shit. We're going to get this guy something. Don't worry about it. We're going to do something nice for Doug Stanhope. And are these three things that you always follow?

Pay it downward. Pay it down. Yeah. No, I love that one, pay it down. Yeah, no, I love that one, especially in comedy. Like how can you not so many people help us to get anywhere that it's like when you get anything,

you have to be a real dick, not to spread it around a little bit. Um, do you think you're pretty consistently not mean? Well, I think when I mean to people, they know it's a joke. Like, yeah, I'm if they still feel bad are you willing to apologize to an extent sometimes you you you push it too far and you

actually you actually hit someone's button that you weren't trying to. But yeah, it was funny where she said, hey, you got a, yesterday, Catherine Bertine said, hey, you got a booger. That's what friends are for. If I had a booger, I'd want you to tell me. I go, are you kidding? That's what I live for. I wait for you to get a booger so I can mock you openly. That's what I do.

Or let her leave it there for a real long time and just laugh. I mean, it seems like eventually, especially if you're a funny person, that's what I do. Or let her leave it there for a real long time and just laugh. I mean, it seems like eventually, especially if you're a funny person, like a process of weeding out the sorts of people in your life that would take everything personally, right? Like I feel like I've had to already start doing that. Yeah, no, I get a big fence. And the people that, I don't go out to bars in Bisbee. I built a bar, and that way the people that are coming over I know are good people.

And yeah, I kind of insulate myself with my own. And I think the other side of it is being. Which is like a religious thing. Totally. Yeah. It's also being around people that know that you're a good person. So it's like, you know, it's all about intent. It's like if you find yourself joking around and someone is genuinely upset, sure, say sorry, you know, if you hurt them.

But at some point you have to like. I'm overly polite. Like Junior Stopka is another guy. I don't know if you know him. He's a Chicago comic. He's funny as shit. And we share that where if we're out at dinner with a bunch of people and they're fucking throwing around F-bombs in a steakhouse

with old people behind you, watch your language, which is always surprising to a lot of people when they get told to watch their language by me. But yeah, have some fucking manners. Is there anything else that you want to plug? Yeah, instead of don't be mean, change that to be polite. Okay, I love it. Should we do Olivia to plug? Yeah. Instead of don't be mean, change that to be polite. Okay. I love it.

Should we do Olivia's three? Yeah. You know, I don't usually like 23-year-olds telling me how to live life. Well, you do love Lena Dunham. Yeah. She's 30 now, bro. But I'm interested to hear. Olivia's been thinking about this.

Light on me. Yeah. I mean, my first one was going to be be kind, definitely. And then also, too, any practices or anything that help keep you sane? So things that you do every day that make you not go crazy. Oh, man. I text my friends impulsively. I need to stop doing that.

I'm a really bad texter yeah it's it's a horrible habit my friends know if they get a text from me it's like do you think this chicken's expired like i that keeps me sane though because if i don't do that i'll spiral that's funny because that's the text exchange we just have well you texted me like i was like do you still have that uh whole baked chicken got me? And then you were like, yeah, is it still good? And I was like, yeah, they last like five days.

And then I texted like three people, do you think that chicken's still good? Because I started to worry. So if I start to worry, I definitely lean on my friends quite a bit. The cat ate some last night, so you know.

And was that the vet this morning? I'm related. I'm related. I think that's good. I'm not the kind of person that reaches out to anyone for anything. So I think that's good. I'm not the kind of person that reaches out to anyone for anything. So I think that's a healthy habit to, like, establish. Thank you.

Because also, yeah, your friends, it feels good to be needed, too. Yeah. I've tried to get better about that. I mean, especially now, like, because I've just, I've lived sort of a few different lives with different pockets of friends. live sort of a few different lives with different pockets of friends and in comedy you're surrounded by so many people that I will like I'll like fully forget almost about close friends that I have and now I've tried to at least once a day like go through my phone and be like who have I not like had contact with in a while and just like text to say hey how are you like what's right right how's your baby whatever and And I think that's good.

It's yeah, it's hard to do it if you don't genuinely care. But I mean, like, oh, yeah, it's genuine. That's good. Yeah. It's not just so I'll be remembered. Yeah, no, no, no. I just know that sometimes I'll like all impulsively text somebody like an anxiety spiral so that they'll help stop me and then I'll feel guilty and I'll be like, how are you?

What are you doing? Yeah. Well, that is the other part of it is you have to like foster, you have to nurture these friendships with people you care about so that when, if you do have a moment where like shit gets real and you need to reach out, you're not like, oh shit, I only come to you like when I need something. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I try to be really aware of that do you have a number three? number three is shit don't be a negative asshole like don't I guess that goes with be kind but I feel like those are different too I think you can still be

nice but also passive aggressive right? I don't know I'm going to read you some Olivia texts. Yes, let's do it. 11.52 a.m. Do you think you're funny? That sounds like a threat. I said, no, but I went back and listened to a bunch of old recordings,

and I think I've been very good at times, funny less so. What do you think the difference is? i said laughter versus applause she says i'm nervous about having my shit ready to be out there i've avoided it for a while so blah blah blah yeah she reaches out and says do you think you're funny out of the blue? We were talking about comedy. You were giving me some comedy advice, and then you were telling me to listen to all my sets, which I had not done until you told me to do it. Yes, you said, I have wasted so much of my time avoiding listening to myself. Same.

I said, it hurts when you do, but it's... It hurts to do it, but it hurts more when you see how beneficial it would have been. Yeah, that was a great text. That helped me a lot. Because after that, I started listening, which I hadn't done. I started listening and thinking about it. I'm going to read a Doug Stanhope.

And you crushed in Vegas. I did. Well, that's because when I knew I was going to open for you, I was like, I better work on this. I don't want to fuck up that chance. Because the first time I opened for you, I was so nervous leading up to it that i didn't prepare and that really bothered me so well you crushed then too that's why i why i liked uh doing uh competitions knowing that they're all bullshit but it did force you to make seven minutes polished and shine right

or you wouldn't do that for fucking the open mic or yeah when you were doing it when sf actually meant something right and now it's just like i did you know a lot of them early on just you know carlos charlie's fucking local you know every city has the whatever's funniest person kind of thing yeah do you have have anything you want to plug? Right now? No. Not really. No, you can go on my website, oliviusfunny.com.

I started selling my shirts on there, so you can do that. Do you got any double X's? Do you have any double X's? Yeah. All right, good. So someone cares about fashion. She's wearing one. Oh, boy. Thank you guys so much.

Thank you. The Who's Your God podcast with Amy Miller and Steve Hernandez. Thank you to the Doug Stanhope fans out there. You're not all bad. Bye. Bye. សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់� Thank you.