The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #384: Mike Kroeger from Nickelback - Doug Stanhope's 30 Day News Blackout (Day 20)

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Day 20. Mike Kroeger, the bass player for Nickelback, follows Doug on twitter. So, Doug actually did some research and called Mike for a podcast. Recorded April 22th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Mike Kroeger (@Nickelback), Shane Gillis (@ShaneMGillis), Ms. Tracey (@egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.NICKELBACK announces "ALL THE RIGHT REASONS" 2020 Summer Tour and will be performing their Diamond-Certified, #1 album in its entirety. Tickets at https://www.nickelback.com/tourStanhope 2020 tour dates are already up on the website. Don't find out too late about an upcoming performance in your area. Get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/LINKS -Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantPhoto Credit Brian HenniganSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. It's the Doug Stanhope podcast with Shane Gillis and Greg Chaley and Tracy on the bar. And on the on the hawn vying to take over James Inman's spot as the number one guest is Mike Kroger from Nickelback. I wouldn't dream of such a thing. You heard the James Inman podcast. So good. I don't even know what to say about it. I understand there's a sequel in the works, but yeah, I was moved.

I was moved. We recorded a sequel. We'll see if we put it out. We'll see how well behaved he is. He seems a little hot under the colander, so to speak. He's, yeah, that's what he does. And he forgets that that's why people listen to him, is because he goes fucking batshit. He's really good at that.

A guy who created his own brand forgets his brand whenever he does something that features his brand. It doesn't make sense. It's like if Kinison just went, I did that yelling thing again. Wait, again? Sam Kinison, yes, that's what you do. Oh, okay. Very, again? Sam Kinison, yes. That's what you do. Oh, okay. Very, very well.

He did send me an email and he said he was very happy for the podcast all of a sudden because Phil Hendry retweeted one of his tweets. Oh. Yeah. Okay. He's easily placated. Yeah. It makes sense.

I mean, now everybody's happy. Because I think he was the only one that wasn't happy before. So he's happy now that we're all good. It was for a moment. It won't last. That's all it took to make James Inman happy was me to make a fake Phil Hendry Twitter account. I went down a not a rabbit hole mostly it was just one interview you just did in December you and what's his name

Ryan yeah at Oxford University oh yeah that was in December now here we are in April and you're on the Doug Stanhope podcast from Oxford. Things are really looking up. You know what?

Actually, they fucking are, because that was the driest, stuffy, painful audience. I've had to do one of those once, and it wasn't even nearly as bad as Oxford. You had fucking encyclopedias behind you you're gonna see the shame yeah why why would you guys have to interview what are you guys talking about it was just a you know yeah like they uh they reached out to us i don't even you know we were as confused as anybody uh they reached out to us and they said they wanted to sit down and talk to us. They have this thing, this Oxford Union, which is sort of a, I don't know, it's some kind of like a semi-social and they talk about sort of current events or whatever. I still don't know how that applies to

us. But, you know, anyway, we, yeah, they wanted to talk to us. But, you know, anyway, yeah, they wanted to talk to us. So, you know, we just said, what the fuck? Yeah, let's fly over to England to go to Oxford. I mean, why wouldn't you? Of course you would. Doug, I can put in a good word if you'd like to try it out. They actually did approach Brian probably 10 years ago or a dozen years ago about having me go to Oxford.

And while I was trying to figure out how to bail out of it they probably did a little more research and then they bailed out for me. Why? There was like six bottles of water like the big bottles of water on the table and just

dead fucking polite. Have you played the UK scene? No, I haven't. I haven't. Oh, never. It was a very, very different kind of interview. I don't think I've ever done anything like that before. And in a hall of, you know, learned people, too,

which also, I don't know what we're doing there. You know, like, I don't know. Well, learning doesn't make for interesting interesting they still ask really fucking terrible questions that are you know boilerplate and uh yeah just because they're smart doesn't mean they're fucking interesting it's funny to think of uh oxford professors being big nickelback fans well it was it was actually it's it's even weirder than that shane is that it was actually students young people people like half my age that were into it and that again completely confusing you know but it but it was uh it was okay and it was it was okay it was fun and stuff but it was

very unusual for sure well i i was i watched that, you know, I'm not a huge music guy. And I'm like, ah, fuck, because we've been talking for the last week or so. But I don't know anything about music. And I watched that. And I know that they're asking you the same just benign questions. I watched that. It was like 55 minutes long. What's your creative process?

Exactly. What is your process, Nickelback? Yeah, it was weird, man. The whole time we were there, I was just kind of asking everybody, what are we doing here? Why did you ask us to do this? I don't understand how this happened. You know,

we went along with it and we did it and it was cool, but I still don't even know why. Well, Shane and I, we, I think you'd agree with me, Shane, when, when you do press and it's college press, you're prepared for just for us. It's a, where do you get your ideas from? Like, what's the question that you get that just churns your stomach and makes you

think, ah, fucking do some fucking research. Well, those are the ones that turn my stomach. Actually, it's the one where the journalist is just clearly fucking lazy, you know?

And I, you know, I've actually been interviewed by a person who did so little homework. They didn't even know the name of our most recent album at the time. And I decided to stick them. You know, and I've actually been interviewed by a person who did so little homework. They didn't even know the name of our most recent album at the time. And I decided to stick them, you know, in the guys. So tell me, tell me about your newest release. I said, yeah, we've got a new record out.

And the guy said, yeah, tell me about it. I go, you tell me something. What's it called? And the guy's like, what do you mean? And he was really, I stuck him really, I was like, do you know anything about us? Our newest release? Yes, we have an album out. But you don't know anything about it.

Like literally nothing about it. Yeah, especially book tours, I would get that on. So what, tell me about your book. What's it about? Like you didn't fucking know? And that's a shame because those are those are some um those are brilliant literary works all right well here's one of my questions that i hope is not uh wrote i'm not worried about it i i told you that i i i i know uh three of your songs which i i went to look for the third and I couldn't find it.

So it's actually two. But on a positive note, I love 100% of your songs that I know. Okay, I'll take that. The question is, Rockstar, is that supposed to be a negative thing? Okay, yeah, good question, Doug. The way we wrote it was not necessarily negative, but trying to aim for absurdity. And we were having a few drinks.

The lyric writing on that one was pretty much a party of sorts. And we had a good time just writing about absurd things that, you know, some have been done by other quote-unquote rock stars and others that obviously... Okay, well, Joe Walsh, for instance. Yes. Yeah, I took that song at face value. I'm blanking on the name of the song. About trashing hotel rooms and life's been good.

Life's been good. Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. When Joe Walsh did that, I took that completely at face value that that's what his fucking life was.

And he hasn't changed at all. When you guys are singing that, I'm like, am I supposed to take this facetiously or sarcastically it's kind of funny because i think some of the things that we wrote in absurdity actually happened you know which is kind of i suppose a little bit interesting when you when you're shooting you're kind of swinging for the fences on kind of dumb shit, and then they start to happen. I guess it's kind of weird.

Well, that's my next question. How much of that shit that you were talking shit about is actually your life now? Because I saw another interview, just some pap, some concert rock of ages that you did, and you're on the runway and you go yeah i'm here with my boys and i thought you're about to drop some fucking heavy names right there about who you're hanging with it was your uh personal trainer and your chef and chef rush executive chef

of the White House for the last three administrations. He's not my chef. I wish he... I don't even think I could afford Chef Rush. But those are just guys I work out with

and they become friends of mine. No, I don't really run in those kind of circles, Doug. Do you have a hilltop mansion? I have a house halfway up a hill. That's pretty good. I have a hilltop mansion? I have a house halfway up a hill. That's pretty good. I have a house that's on a hill higher than Greg Chaley, and I'm good with that. And I don't have 15 cars.

I have nine, and a lot of them are junkers that I got at a police auction. Nice. Eight steps, Doug. Eight steps. How many cars do you have? Okay, I've had my time with my car problem, and now I've got it figured out. I've got two cars now.

But I did have a little bit of a car problem for a while. What was the peak? How many cars did you have when you wrote the song? What was rock bottom? Seven. So you had eight Altimas. I think it was seven, I think, if I'm not mistaken. Were they silly, like rock and roll cars?

Most of them were like American classic muscle. That's kind of what I was into. I have an American classic drug dealer. I have a 94 Crown Vic with the door panel pulled out where they removed drugs and then sold it to me for 900 bucks. I like yours better. Okay. Because we talked about this. I don't want to... Okay. We were talking about douchebags, people talked about this. I don't want to...

Okay. We were talking about douchebags, people that do this. But who is the most rock and roll guy that you know that fits the image of that song? That fits the image of that song? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think... that fits the image of that song yeah uh well i mean i think i i met ace freely a few times and he's he's kind of been um he's been in the new york group for a long time uh you know so i yeah he he's one guy who's definitely walking the walk my brother frankly walks the walk quite a bit you

know i can not brother much but uh yeah he he's uh playing the rock star flag for everybody he's taking over for all of us sorry i found that out because chaley said yeah his brother's the front man and then i found out no it's your half brother and i was curious when the last time you threw that in one another's face you're not even my fucking full brother dude that's uh that yeah that's an interesting situation i actually just this uh past year found my uh biological father's side of my family which is really unusual uh that was crazy meeting uh you know uh i had a another half brother and they found you right well actually other way around no i thought

yeah yeah i went looking for them and uh and i and i with the help of a really good friend tracked them down and you know it's kind of like russian roulette you never know what you're gonna get on those situations and it can be really uh i suppose it could be really bad if they were fuckheads but it turns out they're great uh you know they're wonderful people and um yeah i got i just uh you know went from having uh uh what i got four four cousins to now i got like uh 17 yeah that that's yeah that that was something that that some people were worried that you know that's where the other five cars went to. Yeah. Yeah, they're going to get it right back. They've been really, really cool

and not as nightmarish as I thought they were. Where are they from? They're from the area of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I've played Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Yeah. I've played Saskatoon. I have played Kamloops. Damn. You've been to some places. Yes, I have.

I heard that's your old stopping ground 10 hours away. Yeah. I mean, I've gotten gas in Kamloops a lot. We played there a few times too. Chaley, I thought you were going to chime in. Chaley just got an email today from a long lost relative of his real dad. I was adopted and I found out my birth parents,

I found out my birth mom, her name, and then started a relationship at that time at the age of 23. But I didn't know anything about my dad. My dad who raised me died in 2005. I didn't really know anything about him. He had a whole history before he met my mom, and then they ended up adopting us. Today, someone who is related to my dad contacted me with pictures of my dad as a kid, which I have that same picture in our family photo book. It was crazy.

It just happened like two hours ago. Oh, stock photo. Yes. Oh, you're kidding. The Getty stock photo. But I mean, he's got all the names of the people that I know of on my side that I did know about, but I don't know, like my dad's dad. I never knew his name was George Senior because my dad changed his last name because George Senior was a fucking dick. Oh, yeah.

That happens. Yeah. I don't know. I got to find out. I got to find out. It's crazy. It is crazy to look at if you've never seen them. And I had never, obviously, of course, I just found, you know, my father's family.

Unfortunately, it was about a year after he passed. But I found them and I got given some, my new sister, my new sister, gave me a photo album with some, some pictures of, of my father throughout the years. And one of them was, you know, some, somewhere around the age of 14, 13,

14. And that is freaky, man. Like, cause I was looking at it. I was like, Holy shit. That's like,

that's really me. You know, it's, it's so weird. And anybody that's known their parents for their whole lives would just be like, yeah, yeah, I look like my dad, whatever, so what? But, you know, if you haven't seen that until you're fucking 47. On your dad's age.

Yeah, yeah, it's a mind fuck, man. Well, that's what happened. My lungs look just like my mother's now. Let's hope not, Doug. Doug opens his photo book and he's looking at different body parts. Yeah, Doug said he was going to quit smoking and I went and I just bought him another carton. Don't let mom win, man. I can't have him.

Duff Hendrickson from Seattle just sent me two packs of American Spirits came in today. Thank you, Duff. Yeah, and shout out to whoever gave us a bag of chocolate and three flashlights. Whatever the fuck that was. 212 Van Dyke Street. Mike, you can send me shit too. 212 Van Dyke Street,

Bisbee, Arizona, 85603. Okay. Challenge accepted. Do you know the Manson? I don't, actually. I have friends who are friends of the Manson, but I've never met before. I don't really go out much,

so that's why this whole coronavirus thing is perfect for me. I've been social distancing my whole fucking life. I've been training for this day for for for my entire life uh because uh manson the last text i got from him was uh love you man pickle back for life i try to make him jealous by telling him i talk to you now oh well that's something uh you could definitely say that he can't say you talk to me manson is definitely every stereotype of rock and roll that you want okay okay yeah well you know somebody's got to do it i know i'm not keeping up my end of the fucking bargain so somebody's got to do it well do you Well, did you ever get the herpes?

Well, yeah, rumor has it that you only get it once. No, I almost did. I played with fire and I didn't get burned, let's say. All right. Well, you just lost all street cred for your rock star song. I don't think I ever was in danger of having any street cred for rock star. It's so funny that you guys, just the brief interactions we've had, you're very humble.

And it's very funny to see dudes who sell out arenas and be like, oh, I don't know. Oh, shucks. No, I like hanging out. Down to two cars. I don't know. It's really easy to be

a dick. I try real hard to not do that. You were saying that in the Oxford the oxford university about how uh like your fans just take care of your shit which i understand like if people talk shit about you on social media you just let them handle it you know sometimes yeah we we do have a sort of uh a a small army of uh believers or lovers or whatever you call it they don't have a name do they have a name they uh no they i wouldn't no no we don't have the

believer or any shit like that i know yeah yeah the nickelback uh fucking minute man or something no no it's nothing like that uh it it that. You know, they give themselves some names, but for the most part, they're just good fans who, you know, get our back every once in a while. But, you know, often I'll go on there and just say, listen, it's not worth it. Like, you don't have to, you know, suck up the punishment that people are throwing at us.

Like, fuck it, we don't care, you know. I really, there is a lot. I'm still cracking away at this, but I want to make a T-shirt for our merchandise that says, just says on the back, please, please, please like us. You know?

I really fucking care. Better than Creed. Creed slaps, though. Creed's good. We can admit that. We travel with Creed in the beginning. We opened for those guys very, very early in our career. And they were really, really good to us.

They treated us very well. Didn't that guy lose his shit? Yeah. Scott, stop. Yeah. Did he get it back? As far as I know, he's made some kind of recovery. And he's releasing new music in a solo sort of way.

But I don't know very much about it. But I heard he's back among us, so to speak. He's not probing the outer reaches of sanity anymore. Thank goodness. Yeah, that almost sent me down this is going to be a bad line of questioning because i don't know the industry but like when you put out shit now you're like radio itself is off the map much less rock and roll so like you have a hardcore fan base. Like I do. Yeah. Yeah. Where,

yeah, my fans are going to put out my shit, but like new comics don't even know who the fuck I am. Uh, like you're crazy. You're crazy. Yeah. We're kind of,

we're kind of, we're, we're kind of, if, if that's how you feel, then we're in the same boat. Yeah. Yeah.

I live in a world where I just, i don't try to go to the comedy store and do shows and get new people i just yeah i'm happy with what i got is it like that where you go if we're putting out a new release because music is really different where people want to hear the hits when you play the new shit do you feel like a do you feel pressure from the audience to get to the fucking thing about remind me yeah you know and i know that the guys who do what you do have this have a similar kind of um it's kind of like you almost pigeonhole yourself a little bit and and you gotta you know like i was telling you on the call a couple of days ago when I was talking about seeing Gilbert Godfrey perform. And, you know, it was like a year and a half ago or two years ago.

And he did the aristocrats, you know, like that bit is fucking that is an old bit. Right. But people would revolt if he didn't do that. And that's why, you know, that's why I was telling you that we played how you remind me every show since the song came out just because people i don't even know what would happen if we didn't play it one night i fucking love that song i i i would be pissed too if i went and saw you and you did some shit i didn't know i'd go fuck do the rock star thing yeah well we don't remind me yeah we yeah you got it you could probably write our set list. But the thing is, from the stage, it's really easy to tell when half the audience goes to the john when you're playing one of your new tracks. You know what I mean?

Like you're playing one of the, hey, this is a new one off the bar. And it's like, where's everybody going? You know? Oh, shit. We better get back to the stuff that everybody here knows. All right, tell me the song that if you were to agree with the haters that you could eliminate from the fucking set list that you just hate doing.

Okay, so that's easy, actually. There's a song we put out a long time ago called animals and it's um and it's kind of like a like a young person's story about you know sneaking out with a girl and making out with her and then getting caught and all that stuff and and it's like at the time it seemed pretty cool but when you're in here you're sort of like not early 40s anymore and you're singing about making out with chicks you know even saying the word chicks kind of turns my stomach so animals would probably be be the one that it's just like one of those things where it it it

didn't it didn't age or mature in any way there's a song what it is fuck uh google it tracy uh if i could fly i'd lift you up and take you into the night it's an 80s song back in the mtv video era and the guy that was singing it uh gino uh something italian if i've been ellie gino vanelli yeah it might be hang on italian uh it's got a vowel at the end i figure it must be telling yeah what is it benny mardonis. Benny Mardonis. I wasn't even close. Benny Mardonis. Sounds like something. He's like a creepy 37-year-old probably talking about she's just 16 years old.

Leave her alone, they say. And that was when it was popular he was that age. He didn't have to go back. He's revisiting that near an andy gump at a state fair and uh he's fucking elderly back brace and he's singing his only hit i've i've been talking i have a question jimmy savel twinge to it you know good pull have you uh have you seen how's how's the like uh the market on groupies for Nickelback? Have you seen it rise and fall and rise?

The demand. You know, I'm not what you would call a good test market subject for groupies. I don't. I see. I'm a fucking rock star, man. I'm just telling you. Yeah, but you can see that look. You can see that look and you go, oh, wow. Was there ever like a night on the road where you're like, man, our fucking groupies got old?

Remember when they used to be young and hot? Yeah, I remember. Yeah yeah i remember that i think sometime around the time when they stopped being young and hot i started a boy do you have to do shit like meet and greets yeah oh my least favorite part of every day yes uh i've actually given it the name the meat and regret you know it's not that i don't like people i like people but um you know i just i don't know if i want to meet just total strangers every show day you know what i mean i just it's uh it's it's tough. I have one. Have you, like, because personally, I got shit on a lot this year, and nobody ever said anything actually to my face.

Yeah. Do people talk shit to you? Never, right? It has never, ever, ever happened to me. It's crazy, right? It's literally never. And I've honestly, I've invited it because, you know, one of the things I do is I

do a lot of, I really enjoy fight sports training. Like, learning how to, you know, destroy people with my bare hands is kind of like a path for me. So, I'm kind of, I would just, you know, just somebody just come on up. You know, just come on up. Just tell me how it is

and we can figure it out please let me get the world star video of somebody being like nickelback sucks and they're getting fucking triangle jokes in the street well you know and the fucking problem is greg is that as soon as i fuck somebody up i might as well just sit down and start writing a fucking check you know that's the that's the problem right it's gonna cost me it's gonna cost me a lot you know i'm gonna i'm gonna just pay a lot just for the pleasure of whipping some idiot's ass it seems like it's not worth it yeah don't let your mouth how's that expression go right yeah right yeah it works oh yeah that was something like. In that case, their mouth is writing a check that I don't want them to cash.

You know what I'm saying? Hey, that was me, Shane, that asked that. Did you think Greg was getting shit on a lot this year? Oh, fuck. I thought it was Greg. Pardon me. Did you think Jaylee got shit on publicly this year? I was going to say, why was Greg getting shit on?

But I don't know why. What are you getting shit on for, Shane? Well, I got fired from SNL because I'm racist oh that oopsie yeah you know now it's

I don't know how you've done bits alluding to this Doug how the fuck you don't get any of that shit? Because I'm not popular, and everyone knows I won't give a fuck. They go after people that will give a fuck

or will lose something. They get people that are losing SNL or like hosting the Oscars. Or a KFC fucking sponsor. They never get the Oscars or a KFC fucking sponsor yeah they never get anything within comedy or a movie like a comedy movie

what are you going to do to Howard Stern? nothing like Gilbert got fucked up with that thing with the duck thing that's what happens when you take money from fucking Aflac you lose money from Aflac yeah

well yeah we've had our time From fucking Aflac. Yeah. You lose money from Aflac. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, we've had our time with that, too. You know, there was one time when we did a concert series early on way, way, way back with Budweiser, this campus invasion tour or something like that. We would go to all these colleges and play them all. And it was with Budweiser. And, you know, we started to see some of the marketing materials and we're like, wait a second here. You know, looking at the poster, it was like Budweiser in massive letters

presents in little letters Nickelback and then all these other bands. And we were like, wait a fucking minute. I'm opening for a bottle of beer right now is that and and but that you know so that kind of sucked you know we couldn't really do anything about it because we you know we needed it but then when we were you know getting ready to do the first show one of the like marketing people from you know the company came into the dressing room with this sheepaf of papers and and you know she's like hey we just we've got your your script here and you know and me and my me and my brother and we're like me and my brother are sitting there going half brother script yep half brother

we're like script what the fuck what are you? Well, these are a few of the lines we'd like you to touch on for the brand. And then we were just like, uh, no, we're not going to say any of this. Like, you know, if we just,

it, it, let's just say it didn't end well. I remember having to do a, this is somewhere in, I think it was Lester somewhere in the UK Pimms it was a comedy festival Pimms

which is like fucking Boone's Farm or something I don't know what it was but I was drinking it straight out of the big bottle on stage and every joke I know they're fucking gonna hate I go that bit is brought to you by Pimms swig it perfect i love the nickelback

verse budweiser beef that's like the white version of like uh like wu-tang at uh summer jam or like the 97 source awards yeah it's an unlikely beef isn't it no it's an unlikely beef, isn't it? No, it's a good beef. That's a fucking cool beef, Budweiser and Nickelback. I don't know, man. It was one of those things getting caught between, you know, sort of like trying to play a rock show in corporate America. It just sucked. Tell me if you saw this. I could be wrong here.

Didn't Trump tweet out a gif of your brother? You know that meme, like, look at this? Oh, yeah, yeah. That happened. Didn't Trump just tweet that? He did that, right? Yeah. He did that.

Yeah, he did. Actually, it's funny enough. Look at this graph. Is that how they edited it? It was a Biden thing. We were actually in fuckingford when we heard about that it's funny you should you should know the answer to this question because i i did 55 minutes of research oh good oh yes so yeah and and we we didn't we're not really in the political game

so we didn't really like it um when uh when his uh whatever used our our image or whatever you know that's copyrighted shit along with the song so you know with uh you know our label and our publisher you know had that struck and removed uh and and you know in a kind of weird sort of circle of life way, later on, the fucking the Democratic Party, some operative asshole, released another one where when Chad holds up the picture, it's a picture of Donald Trump and a couple of shady Ukrainians. And, you know, we had that copyright struck, too. 80 ukrainians and and you know we had that copyright struck too you know so it's like on one on one hand we were like we you know the cop the president gets copyright struck and it's like fuck nickelback they're censoring the president fuck those assholes democratic shill prince blah blah blah blah blah going nuts right then we then we copyright strike the democratic party and now we're trump apologists yeah yeah it's only negative it's only negative either way yeah there's never there's never

positive in politics it's always just the other side hates you they fuel each other off that i was so gross i was i was uh curious about that because when they have used, I think there was a Fleetwood Mac in someone's Democratic. Born in the USA was one. Yeah, there was. Because on this podcast, when we have friends that are musicians, they will still, that's why we don't close out with the matoid and stuff anymore because they will pull content from YouTube, even though we have the permission, they do it on spec.

Chaley can fill in. We had a comic friend of ours, Carlos Valencia, who sold maybe, you know. Eight CDs? Yeah. And I played a clip of his. In the DVD era? I played a clip of his that I purchased off of CD Baby or something, right? And we still got dinged for it.

And Carlos Valencia's like, I don't know. I go, what the fuck, Carlos? Why are you putting the copyright thingies off? I don't know what you're talking about, Shaley. It's not. It's someone else who does it on behalf of. I'm putting air quotes. On behalf of the artist that's being taken advantage of.

And he doesn't even know who that person is. It still gets done so that we can't even play a clip of Nickelback. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes, we can. You want to hit it? Oh, you don't have it ready? No. Yeah, Bingo made a trombone version,

and she's not really a trombone player, but she made a it's just it's just one of the uh what do you call that a lick or a riff i don't know okay okay okay yeah that'll be edited version of this oh eagerly awaiting uh hearing that shit for sure i can send it to you it's on my phone if i can figure that out just keep talking oh he's figuring that out so uh yes very nice this is uh we uh shane gillis and i were just talking the other night um yeah uh you know uh donald fagan oh yes from steely dan yes yeah he emailed me one night we're all sitting in the fun house and uh i'm

like fucking i love steely dan i'm gonna give you some of the bands that i will say that i like out loud meaning that i like more than seven songs or at least that many that i know who did it and they're mostly from my youth but Donald Fagan emailed something I'm like are you Donald Fagan from Steely Dan he's like yeah and then we're getting fucking drunk pickle

backed and and then so we go you know Cranks up all the fucking Steely Dan's greatest hits. And then I just keep emailing him which song we're listening to and having a fucking blast. And then it finally goes, I just want you to know I fucking hate every one of those songs. I don't want to relive any of that.

I'm going back on the road because I'm getting a bad divorce. And I have to. At my age, i hope i die on this stage yes and it yeah kind of it kind of took the edge off of like this yeah it's a little like a little glimpse of humanity that you know you wouldn't normally get that's uh that's awesome you know is he uh is he on, is he on Maui? He was in New York. I remember he was in New York City, because I remember my regular refrain of, why would you fucking live in New York City?

Yeah. Especially if you're broke. And then he started going into his divorce proceedings. I'm like, Jesus, these songs are not as much fun to listen to right now. Well, you caught him. It sounds like you caught him at a rare punch. I'm going to catch you in something because I saw a look on your face, sir. During that Oxford interview, they softballed something about, you know, how you guys all coalesce as a band and with songwriting.

And again, another soft serve question. And you looked at Ryan and you said, you alluded to, well, some of us tend to have a different theme. You alluded to, well, some of us tend to have a different theme. Like you're going to talk some shit. And in a very British way, the fucking orator did not pick up on that. I did. Who's got the theme that they just keep bitching about breakups or something? Occasionally when I do these sorts of things, I like to leave that kind of shit out there for people that are paying attention.

And thanks for paying attention. Yeah, the truth is, is, you know, when we were writing lyrics in the studio, a lot of times, you know, a lot of times I would have my wife and or kids around, you know, and we'd be coming up with lyrics about you know how many metaphors you can go over that you know allude to fellatio or whatever and i you know we didn't all like you know me and ryan especially weren't super down with all that and um uh so you know that yeah there's a different uh a different kind of approach. My brother is, is what you could call a negative attention seeker. He,

he, he, he, he likes to provoke a reaction from people. And sometimes it's with lyrics. Oh, okay. I thought it would be the other way where that guy keeps being a bitch and

he's writing about some ex-girlfriend. Like he's a Alanis Morissette. They can let it go wow my fucking yeah my interview is as dated as Nickelback sorry that was a I do I do believe he did write some of his best shit with a broken heart like most writers do yeah absolutely I I can't tell the number of comedians that started doing comedy because of a breakup i always thought about it but it wasn't until that fucking bitch destroyed me yeah i've never heard that before but it makes perfect sense it uh it for some reason getting our our hearts shot on makes us creative. It seems to be a theory

in both stand-up and music. That fucking one lady. Yeah, it's always that one. It's either that one lady or that Canadian guy that broke Alanis Borsett's heart. I think she lost her mind. Did she lose her mind... Did you guys... Didn't she lose her mind?

Dave Coulier? I don't know. Yeah, that's... She was dating... Yeah, she sucked his dick in a theater and stuff. Yeah. Wait, that was about Dave Coulier? You guys don't know this?

It was about... No, I didn't know this. Yeah, it's fucking Dave Coulier from fucking... Full House. Get the fuck out of here. She had a full mouth. In the back of a theater. Nice.

Uncle, what was his name? No, Uncle Jesse. That was from... Joey. Joey. Uncle Joey? Is that it? No?

No, I thought it sounded right. You're almost my age. You shouldn't know, Mike. Well, fuck, I'm not going to let you down because I don't. I don't know. Are you doing that right now? Warren Zevon. Good or not good?

I'm giving you bands that I'm just giving you a few. Okay, I can't comment intelligently on that. You don't know Warren Zevon? Not really. You probably just know Werewolves of London.

Alright. What? You know Werewolves of London. Counting Crows is the one I get shit about the most. What about Counting Crows? No, I'm telling you bands that I would say if you pressured me.

This is the thing, and I told you this on the phone yeah when people say what kind of music do you like oh yeah i'll give you an example the alan parsons project has a song uh eye in the sky and there's a lyric in that song that says some of the lies the sun in your eyes makes some of the lies worth believing. And I love that lyric. The song is a piece of shit. And the rest of their songs, if I know them, they didn't resonate. So if someone says, what kind of music do you like? I'll say, I like this lyric by Alan Parsons project.

That's what I know. But that's a good lyric, man. I don't, I don't think that's necessarily arguable. That's a good lyric. Yeah. But it's not a genre.

Like when they push you, if you had never seen standup comedy, what kind of comedy do you like? I like this one joke by aziz ansari but i'm not a fan of his whole body of work and i couldn't sit through the whole special yeah right yes that would make it hard to comment on music doug sounds like you've really got a situation that's why i'm that's why i'm going through these bands with you. Okay. Neil Diamond. I like many of his songs. Yes.

Yes? Yes. I get a fucking positive. He's a fucking killer. He's a fucking gangster still, man. Absolutely. You know who I think kind of sucks that a lot of people disagree with? I think Bruce Springsteen kind of sucks.

I don't like it. Yeah. I get that he's cool. I respect that he's awesome. But I think his music kinden kind of sucks. I don't like it. Yeah. I get that he's cool. I respect that he's awesome. But I think his music kind of, you know. There's lyrics, just like Alan Parsons. There's lyrics I love in a song that I don't like otherwise. Right, right.

You're not going to tell us that. I don't know if you get a name like The Boss by being shitty. But I guess there's also a, you know, a case got to count for something. Not everybody, not everybody can like everything. I know that better than everybody.

Dan Cook was my comedy nemesis for, for years, but there were jokes I loved. Right. Sure. Would you admit that to him yeah i actually i probably lost fans when i put out a website update i think i actually put that in my book that i would hang out with dane cook in an airport bar before any of my biggest fans

because we have shit to talk about. Oh, you know what? Fucking Soder just brought that up to me. He was talking about I think Joe List. Was that at Caroline's? When you did that? When I did what? I don't know. I think somebody heckled you. I just heard a story about you with that exact thing.

You were on stage and someone was like, Dane Cook sucks. And you were like, what? I like him more than I like all of his friends. Well, this guy just yelled it in the middle of the show. Yeah, because he's a comic. I don't know.

I don't want this to be offensive, but I think Dane Cook got a bit of the... You guys got the same thing Dane Cook did where it's just cool to hate you for no reason. Dane Cook was just... Dane Cook did where it's just cool to hate you for no reason. Like where like Dane Cook was just, Dane Cook was undeniably great. And people, it just became stylish to not like him.

And then it's, you know, it's coming back around where people are starting to recognize like he had a lot of fucking hits. Yeah, you know, sometimes you're, you can become kind of a victim of your own success in a way. Just and the truth is, is that in the beginning, everybody digs it. But then after a while, they just want you to fucking go away. And it doesn't happen.

It doesn't happen like that. Right. Like there's some people that want to hang on to it. And the whatever the commerce of the industry goes, oh, yeah, fuck. We were doing this thing it's working keep doing it you know and and what happens is then people get fed up and and they get they get this odd kind of hate for people that don't really have anything to do with the fact that they're being force-fed something so they're they're kind of railing against you know

this this system that keeps cramming something down their throat they used to like. But the artist that they're fucking shooting holes in has nothing to do with that. It's kind of hard. What other musicians have you seen that happen to that you go, hey, they're a really fucking strong group or musician? Well, I mean, it happened when we were when we were coming up it happened to everybody i mean it happened to bon jovi uh they got plowed when they became successful uh metallica what everybody loved it when they it's on my list of questions they couldn't sell a record and then you know or they were only selling to their

hardcores and then they released a record that a whole bunch of people bought and then you know then they start getting shit thrown at them so it's everybody if you if you do well if you you know if you have some quote-unquote success whatever that means the people are coming after you that's okay you know like i said before i don't really fucking care now you just got me off track because that's something you mentioned is Napster oh yeah

you started getting big on Napster where I was the first comedian that was they made a comedy page for Napster and I was the only featured artist to start it and then fucking metallica destroyed it these cocksuckers who are only known that could have been your sharing fucking mixtapes because he couldn't get radio play destroyed the one thing that was fucking getting me known fuck those those guys. You ever see that 91 in Moscow?

Oh. Yeah, fucking Lars. Come on, man. All right, just Lars. I'm not going to fucking put the burn victim under the bus on this. It was Lars that spearheaded that. And I did have Hetfield at a show in Mill Valley. And I went, I swore if I ever had one of you fucking cocksuckers at my show,

I'd have you thrown out. But it's really that little fucking squat douchebag drummer that fucked everything up and fucking hetfield laughed yeah i i know uh i know those guys and um and yeah the reaction that you just described sounds right on the money to me. Yeah. He would laugh. Lars would? No, no, James would laugh. And like you said,

I agree that I have no trouble believing that. None. Sorry, you got me off track with the Napster. Do you know what? What did you read me off track with the napster with oh yeah do you know what i think did you what did you read me saying about napster is that because i feel like napster was a big part of the reason why shit worked out for us exactly and it was working out for the first time in my career

napster i'm talking to all these people they're finding my shit because at that point i had like three cds out in the cd era and uh yeah there was one track out of three cds that was radio friendly with one spell at it well which bit was that uh i don't think i've ever heard a bit of yours that could be anywhere it was called ants it. It's off Die Laughing. Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know that bit.

Yeah, you're not old enough. I guess I don't know everything. The point is, that was back when radio

and what was the, what was that douchebag, it was the clear, a clear channel. Yeah,

you'd have to do all this shit to promote a show because you were unknown and uh yeah they'd ask you that's what i do i'm still doing yeah still do radio in the morning yeah i saw that yeah radio in the morning interesting and what's radio like now i don't know it's weird because it's tough to go it's tough to switch to turn the switch from podcasting

and like XM where you can just talk freely like there's no filter at all which actually I probably should have had a filter in hindsight but you can always do that you can always look back no no no I'm not I'm not.

This is good. But then you switch to like fucking FM and you do some wacky morning radio show. And you got to try not to swear. And how can you be funny if you can't? Yeah, that's how I talk. That's like if they said, hey, can you lose the Latino accent to fucking? Yeah, Carlos Macias. Yeah, whoever, George Lopez, whoever. That's how I talk.

Fuck is how I talk. Yeah. Yes. I think we took a big step forward with ESPN. They were saying fuck during the Michael Jordan documentary. Yeah, that's how long it's been since I've had to do morning radio. All right, I'm going to throw one last band at you because I hope you talk shit otherwise

because they're Canadian. So I'm sure this is another band you like. A band I fucking love a lot of their songs. Okay. Bare Naked Ladies. Oh ladies oh fuck those are great oh i thought you were going the other way and maybe you caught yourself no i just know i i you know what i i don't know if it's because of my experience or whatever but i don't really talk shit about people i i just you know like the thing we were talking about, about the person who, you know, is tough behind the keyboard,

but then in person wouldn't say shit if they had a mouthful. It's like, to me, no, I just, I don't do it. If I wouldn't say it to the person, I usually just won't say it. I understand that, but I thought I could catch you off guard. No, but I like Barenaked Ladies. They're like a Canadian national treasure right there. And they're super nice. When we played the Danforth in Toronto, I went,

fuck, the Danforth is mentioned in Old Apartment by the Barenaked Ladies. Sure, yeah. Yeah, and I was giddy about that. I have a fucked up, like, I don't't really have ocd but i don't at all but the one thing i do is in my head if i ever say it's been like if i'm like thinking to myself like it's been a couple of i literally i'll stop thinking just go it's been like no matter what huh yeah i like i like it that's your psyche yeah i was a young man when that came out so it's uh it stuck with me it must have something must have happened uh who would you like to uh apologize to the

american public for canadian music don't go brian adams too easy no i know brian i wouldn't i wouldn't talk shit about Brian Adams. I don't know. It's Nickelback. Yeah, there you go. Always the gentleman, always the diplomat. And always the half-brother. I think, yeah, yeah. 100% half-brother. I don't think he likes that. Half brother. Yeah. I don't think he likes that joke, dude.

Fuck. Yeah, I guess I would just have to apologize for us. All right. He doesn't like that joke. What if I said, how many times have you used half brother as an excuse why you can have homosexual sex. It's only half. It's like cousins. I hear you.

You see, that's something that you touch on a few times in some of your work that I really appreciate you touching on that, but I'm not

going to touch on that, Doug. I'm going to throw out a plug that you said, because we're at an hour now and now we have to pay union overtime for Chaley. Uh-oh. Yeah, I think

the plug that you mentioned and i almost bought just because you said it in that interview is chuck klosterman's uh fargo rock city oh yeah fargo rock city well that's yeah that that's um yeah it's all i like it i like his writing actually actually. A lot. He's done another book that I've read. Who's this? Chuck Klosterman. Anyway, he mentioned this book. You've got to read Fargo Rock City. I don't like him.

I'm a claustrophobic. All right, sorry. But I almost bought that sight unseen because you mentioned it. paused the interview and i went oh i could kill a fucking amazon worker by making them deliver this through this troubled time yeah i think uh i'll just stick to toilet paper oh are we are we supposed to be conscientiously not buying stuff on amazon because i got blood on my hands. I realized that when I bought fucking orange-tinted reading glasses that I don't need.

Some fucking guy's going to hump a forklift down. There's people fucking... Did you see that guy that worked at an Amazon factory? It was before the news thing. He worked at an Amazon factory and he was giving a speech to the media. And he was like, I understand essential businesses.

This is black dude. And he was like, but dildos oh he's like dildos that guy he made a pretty good point but i mean maybe for some people dildos are essential you know who am i to you know judge that shit yeah maybe a a fleshlight is essential if you forgot how to jerk off jesus ladies or gentlemen yeah yeah or other exactly we can yeah we can go unspecified with the third option, yes. Cudgel. Describe it. What's a cudgel? What's a cudgel?

Yes. Like a blunt trauma object. Yes, it's a short stick. Yeah, you're right. It's like a dildo. Like a fucking blackjack or something. Yeah, like a dildo stick that, yeah, you're right. It's like a dildo. Like a fucking flapjack or something. Yeah, like a dildo.

Yeah, like a dildo. Yeah. Mike threw out that word during the Oxford interview. I got lots of words. And I had to stop and pause and look it up. Going, did he just get a big word just because he's at Oxford and then I went oh I know that's six letters nah it's a big word

it's an uncommon word sir yeah what was the word today rubric that's like a third grader a rubric rubric yeah dude that's like a third grader a rubric you know what a brick rubric now i'm saying i look up words because i i use saturnalia in my book all right well that's crazy my friends are gonna fucking call me on thesaurus.com on this and it was it was a it's another

word for debauchery in this book I like it I think we should go deep into the vocabulary man go for it I liked cudgel you threw it out effortlessly you know I consider effortlessly far more intimidating

than cudgel to be honest alright smart fuck. Here's my last question. What do you got? How have I influenced Nickelback's music? You've effortlessly influenced us. Yeah, you did struggle with that. It was a struggle.

In so many ways. Why does Nickelback follow me? Is it because we're both in a... Like, if I had as many followers as you, I would have as many or more haters than you. When Joe Buck followed me on Twitter, like, every time I see Joe Buck announcing football, I go, he follows me on Twitter.

And he's polarizing like you. Well, yeah. And, you know, I'll tell you how the Nickelback following you genesis occurred. You, a while back, were getting fucked up in airport bars. A while back? A while back, yeah, until the airport stopped working. Obviously, that's a recurring theme, but you were tweeting about it. And you were doing specific trips to places just to get fucked up in airport bars.

And I found that fucking fascinating and i wanted to keep up with it and it was a lot easier for me to just follow you and read your posts than not follow you and dig through the rest of the sludge to find out which uh postal worker you're ripped with it some fucking american airlines lounge yeah it was awesome delta how dare you oops sorry about that yeah my memory's not so good did i mention that no uh mine mine mine is not as good after a lot of those hashtag airport pub crawls oh yes that yeah you're really uh blending two terrible things together which i used to blend together myself. You know, excessive drinking and flying is just probably not a good combination health wise, right? No, no, it's it's not. And yeah, the memory loss is incredible. Do you not drink at all anymore? What's your rule? Yeah, no, I gave it up.

It's going to be, what is it, two years now? But unlike you, I'm not very good at drinking. You know, I quit once when I was 19 years old because I woke up in a hospital. And I didn't drink for I didn't drink for my 20s I stopped drinking for my entire 20s and then I came off the bench

at a at a wedding reception everybody insisted that I do this champagne toast and well there you go back on the horse and until about uh, you know, about two years ago, um, I, I did, uh, I did, uh, partake, but yeah,

no, I've stopped that. Um, yeah. So I, I don't, uh, I don't, uh, I don't smoke anymore either. You know, that's why I feel like our, our kind of our acquaintances kind of doomed, you know, I don't know ifance is kind of doomed. You know? I don't know if this is going to work out. You know what? I'm not much of a babysitter myself. You and those kids stay away from my cigarettes and my cocktail.

My kids are more than likely going to smoke your stuff and take your booze than anything else. They're grownups. Oh, good segue, sir. Oh, yeah. Oswalt has a bit about how children rebel against their parents.

So he's going to be the most uncool parent in the world just to make sure his kid is cool. I'm going to have Phil Collins, no jacket required, framed on the mantelpiece. Ooh, yeah. Because you told me about Patton Oswalt's Nickelback bit, and I listened to that today, and it was fucking hilarious. Money in a Pussy. Yeah, it's kind of a unique take, isn't it? He was able to kind of distill down our entire,

uh, vision of our career, uh, in, in a very short bit that, uh, you know, the, the, the, the irony that, you know, people are, are whining about that. We just did this for money and pussy and, you know, guilty. Okay. Let them look it up. Let the kids, listeners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Money and Pussy gag. They check that bit out. It's really good. Strong.

Two minutes. You have the attention span for that, listeners? Two minutes and nine seconds. Probably not. Nope. But you could do it in stages. It's okay. I would let you go, but we have questions from the fans.

Oh, no. We covered them already. Really? The Nickelback one, yeah. All right. We don't. Which was the one from the fans? Because I don't know whose was what.

The Trump one. The Trump one. Oh, that was me. Oh. Oh, you're the fan, Greg? I'm Shane. I can't tell you. There you are, Shane. Shane, Greg? I'm Shane. I can't tell you all. There you go, Shane.

Shane and Greg. I like Greg. Sorry. Oh, man. Greg, you're on top of mind right now. I can't think about Shane when I'm thinking about you. All right, well, fuck you guys. He's the only one with a question.

Now I'll have a Nickelback bit. There you go. Shaley has to edit all this stuff, and he has to do all the – he's the producer, whatever that produces. And I was wondering if because you are the bass player, like Chaley's a bass player. Yeah. Is that the reason that you have to check the Twitter and then talk to me?

Oh, cause maybe, I think it's just cause I'm the only one who's interested in checking the Twitter and you know, that it's okay. I kind of find it like entertaining, you know, I think, I think some of the guys in the band might be a little bit more offended if they read shitty shit about us on Twitter all the time. Like I told you, I find it just kind of fucking funny,

you know, like if it's funny, right. If it's just negative, shitty meanness, I don't have any time for that. I don't really care about that. But if it's somebody who is making

light of us and is legitimately funny, I'm fucking on. I'm into it. Did you ever get a tweet that fed into your own insecurity where you're like, oh, this fucking hurts. Like, they found my soft

spot. Not Nickelback sucks, but oh, they found this specific soft spot. Oh, yeah. You know, there is that. Don't say it. Don't say it. Yeah, don't give away. I have small ones that I won't even give away because I know they'll flood me with them.

I hate gifts. There's a skillet in my closet somewhere. I bought the wrong colored flowers for my wife one year for an anniversary or something like that i'm sure there's stuff out there but uh i stopped giving a fuck quite a long time ago see uh shane gillis still reads youtube comments and shit like why would you read that shit? Like, Twitter's one thing. Social media, where it's like something you're interacting with. But to go to

your YouTube comments. YouTube, Reddit, I check them out. I read the comments. I read them before fucking bed. I let the hate fuel me. Shane's also 32. Yeah, that's fucking nightmare fuel, brother. Those

people, I mean, the thing is, I wish that the comment sections in these fucking repositories of wisdom were actual, I wish they were like a recorded video of a person's face saying things. That's what's really funny. Me and my friend Matt did a podcast yesterday where we interviewed. We got on Zoom. Don't promote other podcasts

on my podcast. And our fans were able to jump into the Zoom meeting and we just went through talking to people that liked the podcast. Once I put a face to everybody that was on Reddit, I was like, oh, all all right these are the guys talking shit make sure they're underwear it really didn't hurt well that's why you know i have had my time on twitter where i'll go after

somebody for for fucking with us but the thing is is that the only ones I'll go after are somebody that I actually know something about. So it's hard. The nameless, faceless assholes are way harder to attack because I don't know where the soft spots are. But when you get somebody who you might know something about, then it's really easy, right? Some other musician another musician talking shit you can just be like alright look at the numbers bruh or you know

fuck you I saw you play that show and you couldn't hold down the part in song 4 of your set I heard you like you know what I mean like you can like whatever but you know yeah I don't give a fuck yeah yeah I I don't fucking care. Yeah, I'm working on that.

Yeah, well, you know, you just, I don't know. I feel like we're, in our society right now, there's a whole bunch of people out there who feel like their voice and their fucking vote matters. And I'm here to tell you, it doesn't. Hell yeah. Alright, I have a plug.

No, it's for Nickelback. I was going to wait until we're wrapping it up. Oh, you have a plug. It's a plug for Nickelback. I thought I was reading off a cue card. I'm drinking Tracy drinks. I'm getting fucking lit. Is Tracy pouring him a little on the gamey side today? Always.

Always. That's more proper. Beautiful. Good. You know what? Why don't I just bring this up now because he might want to talk about it. Nickelback is doing a tour this summer with Stone Temple Pilots, and it's the All the Right Reasons Tour.

It's a celebration of their 15 year anniversary of uh well diamond diamond what is it diamond platinum or uh diamond uh yeah you call it a diamond award it's just 10 times 10 times diamond and uh like it's in june is the first date yeah they've they've got diamond status 10 times and and right above you at 11 times is Creed, by the way. Oh, shit. Shots fired on the Doug Stahel podcast. All right. But they're going to be doing the entire album,

and they have dates close to us in September, Doug. Oh, hopefully. Hopefully. That's true. Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully that happens. But we will be in your neck of the woods one day. And although I don't drink, I can happily pass you to some of the members of my band that do drink.

And I've told them that they better start doing their liver exercises now because you're going to put them through the paces. This is not you talking shit. This is a wager because I'm going to plug in return the Doug Stanhope Celebrity Death Pool. Oh, geez. Oh, yeah. What are you getting? I'm getting a bar call. I get it.

Okay. The Doug Stanhope Celebrity Death Pool. This is Joby's thing. Just the face. I'm the... Just the titular. Titular. Wow.

Oh, that's a good one. Tracy knows all the big words. She's written every one of my books. Wow. Celebrity Death Pool. uh wow celebrity death pool if one of your three band mates were to pass who you got money on first who's not first i only say this because one of the rules of the celebrity death pool is they have to at least have a wikipedia page and you're the only one that doesn't nickel back okay so i was gonna say me yeah you can't do that sorry you're not a

celebrity according to my celebrity death pool so you have to pick one of your bandmates and i don't think it's that soap opera looking guy fucking ryan he looks like a bloated fucking tom cruise that never made fucking top gun and had to settle for days of our lives uh so you're you're right on target there uh that's all true yes uh but i you know i i'd have to i'm gonna i'm gonna take the spinal tap approach on this one and just say it has to be the drummer because that just happens to drummers. Newest member. Yeah, sure. Okay.

You know, they just, I don't know. There's something about drummers. They just die, man. Tell me about it. All right. What's his name? His name's Daniel. All right.

And if you really want to see him get somebody called danny just fucking loves it i i i i said i went down a nickelback rabbit hole but no i went down a mike kroger rabbit hole and fuck those other guys especially the drummer trade rounds on the 15th we're gonna put everyone listening that's playing the death pool you put the fucking drummer in guys, especially the drummer. Trade rounds on the 15th. We're going to put everyone listening that's playing the death pool put the fucking drummer in. Put him in. And you get him.

But I still think it's going to be me, just off the record. You know, just saying. Yeah, well, I hope you're saying this in front of the fucking kids. But he can't make his own Wikipediaikipedia page so someone's got to make it yeah come on let's get fucking mike kroger he's the fucking better half of the brothers so i you know i i don't i don't do this usually uh in uh in public but i feel like

like i said before you uh doug i feel like I can really be myself here. I feel like I'm really in the trust tree. And I just wanted to clear up a misconception because I know your audience, this is like the widest audience we'll probably get. So I wanted to explain that the pronunciation of our last name is actually Kruger. Like Freddy. Yeah. That's going to scare the kids away from my podcast.

I doubt that any of the people listening to this podcast are going to be scared off by that shit. A lot of parents put their kids in front of my podcast like an old-time radio show and let them listen while they sleep. I really enjoy that intro. That's some pretty cool music right there. That's Greg Chaley. I like it. I like it a lot, Greg.

Thank you. All right. What do you got for me now? Is there an organic cigarette smoking guy? We're going to have Bingo take us out, and then I'm going to figure out how to send you her trombone rendition. This is her first. I think I can play it.

Oh, he can play it. That would be great. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he started trying this. If you can send me this, too, I would really, really, really, really like that. Thank you. Let me see if it'll play. I told her the two songs that she might be able to, and I said, rock star.

I don't think it has the catchy thing that you could learn. Right. You need like a short lick. If you could tell me what part of how you remind me that this is from. This is Bingo's first attempt. Okay, let me see if I can play it. She's very alone over at the quiet house. How many houses do you have?

I have four, bitch. So, fuck, Doug. That's a very funny thing you just asked. I just sold one today. Oh, motherfucker. Yeah, so I only have two houses left now wow you're you have a real uh uh fire sale going on there of cars and houses yeah man that's uh every yeah sounds like the place for me a lot of my friends say that you

know if they want to buy real estate they just follow me around and they get stuff for half a fucking price because I get my clock cleaned every time. Jalee's still working over there. It's not going to play. It's not going to play. Okay, well, you'll find a way to post it. Yeah, he'll figure it out for me. Yeah, he'll figure it out for the podcast.

Right there, it was going to play. It will play when it goes on Patreon. I'll send it to him right after this. Did you have any closing remarks? Any advice for James Inman? Oh, no advice for James Inman. I think he's doing everything right. I don't think I could improve upon this.

I think he's fucking great. I have never done that in my life. Was it devil horns? Yeah. I just went metal horns. I sat through it because I respect you, but it was rough to watch, Doug. It hurt to watch. It took a little out of me.

Fucking Nickelback just said know it's great he's doing everything right and he'll he'll isolate that sound bit and he'll have it on a website that no one ever visits well you know the thing the thing about that podcast guys like the stroke of genius is i don't think anybody knew what was going on. You know, as far as when you're listening, for sure, you don't know what's going on. And that's the best part of it, because you're like, wait a minute. Is this scripted? Is this scripted?

Is this on purpose? What's happening here? If you go back through the Inman episodes, yeah, no, it's not unfortunately scripted. And he's a dick, too. He's like, oh, we were kind of mean to him. And then you give him a little bit of leash. And then he just comes.

This morning, when he's like, you guys always fuck with me. I'm like, do you want me to read the text that you send me about my ugly fucking head? Like, just every fucking awful thing I've never said any of that to you like maybe write new material is I mean that hurts as a comic but he's just like pouring on

like eight emails in a fucking row about how much you fucking suck and you never the subject of the last email i got after the last podcast i just read the subject and then i just file it away it's you two colossal douchebags that's it you you gave you gave away the end of the the email in the subject line i'm not gonna read it yeah you want me to read it go, you guys are the best friends a comic.

Yeah, starting a bit with a fucking punchline. You shouldn't do that because no one's going to listen. Yeah, you gave it all up. That would be funny whenever this is over in like nine days. I don't even know what day we're at when I can go freely on email without learning anything. That would be funny if you and I would trade hate mail. So you can answer mine, and I can answer yours. So Doug, one thing I do want to add, I have a proposition for you. Because I've been looking around for the right person for this.

I wonder if you and your merry band would like to be our press secretaries. I think we can find someone for the job. Are you sure, man? I think I'm kind of getting tired of doing all these interviews, and I think you guys fucking nailed it. How dug did Johnny Rotten one time? I had a phoner scheduled where the guy fucked up, and he had Johnny Rotten and me switched up,

so he called me thinking I was Johnny Rotten, so I just played the part poorly wow but he was like the worst journalist ever like he had no idea and then when later on when i had to do mine as you know me he was asking me the exact same questions that he asked that fucking guy right it sounds like you correctly identified him as the shitty journalist. Who couldn't be Doug Stanhope or Nickelback on a random Midwest radio station?

Like, no one would know. You could be a fake Mike Nickelback. Sure. Yes. Krieger. Krieger. Kruger. Yeah.

You know, if you call me fucking Kroger, I don't care. Yes. Krieger. Krieger. Kruger. You know, if you call me fucking Kruger, I don't care. Whatever. Use whatever pronunciation of my name you like. But yeah, I think you should do our interviews from now on. I'm not against it. If you'll do one of mine, I'll do one of yours. Oh, fuck. Deal?

I love it. Don't challenge me to a good time,hope that sounds like a blast honestly i i i would do that because i've already called myself out on the bullshit ahead of time so yeah that's a deal at some point you're gonna do a an interview as me and i'm gonna do do an interview as you. You're going to read headlines that are like, Nickelback uses racial slurs in radio interviews. You guys are fucked. This is a bad deal. You know, I'm starting to wonder about this idea.

All right. I'm going to leave my idea off the table because I'm going to call you as soon as we're done, Mike. But yeah. Nickelback admits to being in blackface during phone interviews. This is odd. Well, Shane, I'm starting to see the holes in my plan here.

I'm telling you, I'm doing you a big favor here. Yes, you are. Alright, Bingo. Play your trombone and then take us out. Okay. Bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.