The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep. #92: Pt. 2 - Chad Shank & Brian Hennigan in the same room together

Episode Date: August 25, 2015

Part 2 of Chad Shank & Brian Hennigan in the same room together. Hennigan's Uber fascination and more drunk words.Recorded Aug. 15, 2015  at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Brian Hennigan (@MrHennigan), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Links -Capernoited – Slightly tipsyShotclog - A companion whose presence is tolerated through his buying of the drinks.Ombibulous – drink anythingClosing Song, "Out Of Arms" by Elysium. Not available on iTunes.Doug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey, this is the Doug Stanhope podcast with Chad Shank, Brian Hennigan, and Greg Chaley. If you listen to the whole thing, you'll understand this whole opening of this podcast because we have a lot of great things to talk to you about tonight. Brian has some strange Uber obsession, Chad Shank likes to say stuff funny and Greg Chaley, he likes to cut away to drinks. Hey, let's do that right away and we'll be back with Brian Hennigan talking about his Uber obsession.

So Greg Chaley, what's going on with these new website merchandise specials? Is it Black Friday? You might as well call it that because we've got black and oatmeal podcast t-shirts in a special right now with a signed DVD, Deadbeat Hero. That's going to cost hundreds of dollars.

Wait, there's more. We're throwing in two stickers, a podcast sticker and a Killer Termite sticker. The thousand dollar stickers? Yes. How much are you giving this away for? Are you kidding me? Price so low you won't even believe it! Every time I go to Pino Salto's to have a nice vacation, Chaley's giving away the store.

Hey, Greg Chaley, uh, you know what? It's weird that we can't get my fucking dates for my podcast up on the website, but somehow you're figuring out how to get merchandise specials. That makes me a little tentative about your whole angle plus my smash bumper. I think you're out out how to get merchandise specials. That makes me a little tentative about your whole angle, plus my smashed bumper.

I think you're out to get me. So go to the website and check out these sales, and if you're screwing me, Greg Chaley, I'll get you back. You'll be the last to know. Hey, this is the Doug Stanhope podcast. This is the after show. What does that one guy always do after that? John Hines?

No, after Breaking Bad and after the fucking zombie show. Oh, yeah. Talking Dead. Yeah, we're talking Stanhope. I don't fucking know. Your wife, Chaley's wife, is sitting behind him with her orange hair, crocheting coasters for our drinks. Here's the first one.

And we refuse to believe that we're getting old. Yeah, like a triple size of a postage stamp. That's a large checkerboard checker size. You know, she's conserving wool. It's yarn. She's recycling into teeny tiny coasters. As bugs fly into our drinks. To be fair, when she's wearing her glasses, they look a lot bigger.

This coaster is so small, if I folded it in two, I could eat it. Brian, I wanted to get you wound up on this Uber thing. Oh, yes. The Uber thing. Get on the mic, because when Bingo was just in Dublin on her way to a wedding in France, they warned her. Like cabbies, I always

love to bring up Uber in LA to just get a cabbie wrangled. Awesome. So great. But in LA, they're riled up. In Dublin, they warned her to not get an Uber because it's like France where they're having massive... What the fuck are you doing with your phone?

Talking to people. Really? Call my fucking editor and text him going, hey, I'm on a podcast with Doug Stanhope because he doesn't know what to do with his fucking book because you don't get back to him with notes. But yeah But they're fucking rioting.

It's like 60s union shit. It's just scare tactics. It was scare tactics with burning barricades in the middle of the road. Civil rights level. No shit.

I thought you'd have a fucking opinion i thought you'd stop talking to your fucking phone it's what norton does when you go on ona he just stares at his phone he's still hilarious though you're not doing the norton part of being hilarious while you stare at your phone i was marched over here to give an opinion about Uber, which you've already given. Yeah. And I wanted you to pontificate. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, having lost the match, you passed me the ball.

It's like, what? You're the guy that was the original Uber raver. Yeah. Uber raver. You know Uber, so I don't even have to have a car anymore. Yeah. You know, that wasn't that long ago. That was April of 2014 when we went to LA and we were staying at the Airbnb.

That's right. You did the Manson thing and the Kriacher. You did his podcast. And we moved around fairly easily. There was no problem. Well, Tracy and I just got back from Los Angeles. It is fucking insane how easy it is. And it's like $3. I mean, to go a distance that you would go, I don't know.

That's too far. $3. But more importantly, it's the whole idea of not being ripped off. Absolutely. Anytime I used to call a cab anywhere, I'd fucking Google map it. I'd have fucking printouts.

I'd go down there ready to be ripped off. I've had people pick me up from central LA where I live, and they hear my accent, and they think, oh, tourist. And I've said, I'm going to Silver Lake, and they take me towards Beverly Hills. And I said, no, which is opposite directions, and clearly opposite directions. Oh, sorry, I mis opposite directions. Oh, sorry.

I misheard you. No, you try to steal money from me. That is literally what you just tried to do. You tried to take money out of my pocket. So exactly, exactly. I didn't even think of the ripoff angle.

Oh, I just all the time. The point is, unlike union strikes where people are yeah go worker consumers are on the side of uber the only people against uber are the taxi people everybody all the civilians all you fucking joe lunch buckets everyone's on the side of uber it's cheaper it's more and then you do get scare tactics that some of the some of which have some uh legitimacy like they'll highlight the fact that uber or lyft or whoever doesn't

correctly criminally screen their drivers and one or two of them have convictions well you for that argument to have any validity then there can never have been a taxi driver on passenger crime, which would include theft of taking me to the wrong place. Purposely. I'm really ignorant about all this, but do Uber drivers make money doing this? Yes. The minimum. I just researched this because I was concerned

with whether you should tip or not because Lyft has a section at the end of your ride you can tip a dollar five dollars ten dollars or other right and that's part of the app with Uber they don't have that and there's this whole thing of like well no it's included in there it's not included in there but there is an agreement when that driver picks you up that they're going to do it for the amount of money and there's no need to tip on top of that. In fact, when I've tipped, they've been surprised. And Brett Erickson said, he goes, there's an agreement here.

I can't not tip. Yes. So, like, oh, well, we're a different kind of waitress. But you know what? You just eat your breakfast and get the fuck out. I have to do this. I guess my point of view, I of view is that taxi drivers are probably not, I don't know this for sure, but

not in the highest tax bracket as it is if they're making all this money off people then what are Uber people making? The problem is that to become a taxi driver they've bought into the whole build up and the medallion thing. Therefore they've invested in a system that doesn't exist anymore.

Just like the guy who invented cassette tapes, and he's getting a fucking penny off of every TDK you buy. Wait, no! I'm going to riot against CDs. I'm going to smash your windows and set shit on fire in this room and stop traffic. I heard a great story the other day from this guy who's a fan of yours that I've become friendly with. He's in the music industry.

He'd been there for a while. He was telling me about in the early 90s, one of his buddies that he knows was negotiating with Columbia Records. Columbia House? No, no, not Columbia House. Okay. Columbia Records.

And at some point they were down to, like, they were nickeling the IMU, and he was trying to get whatever he could out of them, and he said, okay, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. Can I have all the digital rights? And they're going, what? What do you mean digital rights? You know, you can put the music digitally. I'll take that.

And they went, okay, fuck, yeah, sure, take all the digital rights. Worthless. Worthless. This fucking idiot wants digital rights. Fucking blowhard. With his fingers? Here's my digits. Early 90s. One day you'll listen to it out of the air, asshole.

It'll just be in your brain. Seriously, I think I cut to like the, like last year, they're like, or whatever, they were going, this guy owns everything we have. We basically only own. Yeah, there's not much cassette market. That's fucking brilliant. But to answer Chad's question and to let everyone else here know, the average that a Uber driver makes is between $19 and $35 an hour.

Nice. And that's based on their agreement when they sign up with Uber. So my question is, why are people not rioting against taxi drivers? You want to fucking throw all these things. How about fucking consumers riot against taxi drivers? Well, in effect, they are. Fuck you. No, like bricks through fucking windows and make taxi drivers afraid of being taxi drivers,

much less them making Uber drivers be afraid. They were warned, oh, don't take an Uber. Yeah, that's fucked up. At the same time, though, I mean, there are some cities where it doesn't apply. Or it doesn't apply like ours or it doesn't work well i was in barcelona last uh october and uh it was like wow taxis here are everywhere cheap and honest and there was like you there was there was no sort of demand you know what i mean it was just like wow so they would they wouldn't they wouldn't go into that market take off here because they're literally everywhere why don don't we have Uber and Bisbee?

Oh, you're going to. You couldn't even have a single fucking taxi that worked here. And think of who'd be a fucking driver here. Think about who you'd be picking up. The fucking stinky monkeys they'd be turning up at your door with their unaudited fucking bootleg Audis. I think all the taxi drivers should just become Uber drivers and then the market would be saturated

and the whole thing would be worthless and they'd all have to rip you off like taxis do. I've been picked up by guys like that. Instead of bitching about what's clearly a better idea and in some way that they should have done, the taxi industry should have adopted this fucking idea in the past.

Instead of that, they keep bitching. My first, not prostitute, but my first escort call out of the newspaper back then. Oh, we're going there, aren't we? No, she was a vice cop in Boise, Idaho. Oh, I remember. And she said that when she found out how much money they made, she switched fucking teams. Sure.

And that's what taxi drivers should do. Yeah, just drive a fucking Uber, asshole. But I would imagine, because I've been picked up by at least two guys who are prostitutes or Uber drivers. I've had two guys. Let's hear your story first. Pretending to be. You didn't quit drinking, though, did you? Two taxi drivers turned Uber drivers. I've had two guys. Let's hear your story first. Pretending to be. You didn't quit drinking, though, did you?

Two taxi drivers turned Uber drivers. And one of them was obviously an ex-taxi, so it was kind of a giveaway. That's a nice yellow Lincoln you have. But I think the principal reason that doesn't happen more often is that in every town you can think of, the taxis are kind of controlled by one ethnic group. And therefore, when you leave, you're kind of betraying your ethnicity. You're part of a gang. Like Minneapolis is all the Somalis. In Canada.

Remember that guy? I kept talking. Oh, you kept asking. I kept talking to him. Chaley just, it was morning. You're hungover. Your stink line's coming off you from booze. And you don't want to talk to anyone.

And Chaley just kept chatting with this guy in Winnipeg. So that I could add to this podcast right now. He was, I think it's different in Canada. She always plays the long game in Winnipeg. It's quite home Winnipeg, Sam. But he's like so interested in where he came from and his culture.

What was his religion, Doug? I don't know. Seek because he wore, he wore that that turban and that's how I figured out they all wear I would have got that multiple choice I would have got that you would have hit none of the above

but it was very interesting in that his life and his family even his extended family based on that medallion that he had that cost $100,000 or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, that's by buying stock. You fucking lost.

The stock fell out. But that cab never stopped running. Him and another guy ran that thing for 12 hours a day forever. And I just think that that guy was given the two opportunities of like, you buy a medallion for $100,000 or we send you back to your home country where they fucking shackle you and beat you and neuter you.

He came in legally. You didn't listen to one bit of that, did you? You're still a cab driver, but you pull people in a rickshaw. But all you'd have to do is get like a $25,000 pre-test. I think that's the larger point is is that there is an aspect here, which is that you're denying a certain group.

It's more than just like, hey, I'm Brian the taxi driver, and I've been shafted by Greg the Uber driver. We're both the same people. We both shop in the same stores. There's a certain group of people who are, in effect, disenfranchised from a safe economic option they have, which may well be, let's be clear, in this society, the only economic option they have. Wow. If Donald Trump could be that racist that subtly.

Eloquently racist. I imagine the lead he would have even more. You see this phenomenon all over. You have the dispensary weed is undercutting the black market. Sure. It's just evolution of... Short-term loss to make the long-term gain.

All in progress! The thing is that we're all greedy and we want it better when we fail to realize that the other part was built to support all of the fucking overpopulation that we have. Always boils down to, we can close

every podcast. Does that mean it's the end? No, no, every fucking, every drunken fixing the world discussion we have always ends with overpopulation. But that's also where you go with what happened in Iraq

and the rise of Al-Qaeda in Iraq and the growth into ISIS was because you disenfranchised the people that were in the Iraqi army by saying, hey, we don't fucking need you anymore. We've got better things or better people that can do this. And suddenly their taxi driving job, which was doing fuck all in the Iraqi army, is like, shit. Well, we're going to fucking do something else then.

Butcher babies? Is that open? Yeah. You got butcher babies open? Any butchering babies open? Raping hostages. I'm just saying. Look on Craigslist. Is there gas chambers for sale? All the good jobs are taken.

So, there you go. Any other serious questions for me? I thought that was way more fun than watching you sit over there on Twitter, by the way, Hannigan. Our European dates, Brian, Glasgow, you look at the ones that we need

to plug. I don't know what's sold out. Glasgow? Is O2 Brixton sold out. Glasgow. Oh, man. Glasgow's fucking... Is O2 Brixton sold out? Because I keep getting... No, people are just dumb. Yes. All right.

Jesus. If you say, oh, you're sold out in fucking London. Well, Brixton is London. Oh, yeah. Two different venues. Is it right? Again, given how few of those emails we get, it's like, I'm sorry. If I was getting like 20 or 30 of them.

Well, I'm retarded and I only plug dates. If someone says, oh, you're sold out in London, I believe them. So I don't plug that date. So Brixton, there's still tickets at the other O2 arena. Yeah, the other one's not. Because they keep tweeting. I'm like, I keep getting tweets that I'm sold out, but then the venue is tweeting at me

that I'm there. Believe the venue. They're going to say they still have tickets even when they don't. Hey, cab drivers, you're not fucking welcome. Uber drivers, get in for free if you've had an abortion. Every goddamn... If Uber costs more in Europe,

I'm still taking an Uber just to say, fuck you, cabbies. Fucking grow out of it. Grow out of it. We were at Hard Rock that night in L.A. last week when you absolutely did not want to go wherever we went. It was midnight, a little bit after midnight, and Hannigan ended up splitting,

and then we went to a club that we're like, we're out of here. But it's Hollywood, what street is that? It's Hollywood Boulevard. And it's jumping. I'm almost 50. That's not where I want to be. We talked about this on the last podcast

about Brendan Walsh. No, but we hit the Uber fucking app, and there were no less than three cabs across the street waiting for a fare. We talked about this last night. Oh, sorry. Oh, no, actually, we probably did it off air. No, it was off air. So all these cabs are over there, and we were waiting, and this guy is calling and texting me, where are you? Where are you?

And I am not going to abandon the Uber guy as those three cabs just sat there the whole fucking time. Fuck them, right? Because we've been ripped off plenty of times. I finally got ripped off after I lived in L.A. for 10 years. And the guy takes me from the airport, and he keeps going past the cut off to the 10 he takes me all the way up to santa monica boulevard 405 and i'm like well i don't know maybe something changed or this construction no you just fucked me a well-known one at the edinburgh fringe or festival fringe is on just now which thank fuck we're not uh uh. But a well-known

thing in Edinburgh was during the Fringe they'd say people would get in and say take me to the assembly rooms. Well there's a place called the assembly rooms down in Leith near the ports and that you know nobody ever goes there but the cabbie would take them there and be like oh sorry do you mean to go to

the other one? It's like, your impression of a Scotsman is my impression of you. There you go. Isn't that a coincidence? Alright, I think, what time are we at? 31 minutes? 21.

21? Fuck it, it's a small podcast. Oh, right, okay. It's a different podcast. I thought we were trying to break Sound it's a small podcast. All right, okay. It's a different podcast. Yeah, it's a... I thought we were trying to break SoundCloud's record for the longest fucking podcast. No, no, we're doing a separate podcast. Right. We're going to close this one with Steve Drew's new song.

All right, well, let's see. I might have stuff to talk about. Do you have stuff? Oh, you're going to check your phone? I'll check my phone. Can we take a break and make drinks? Okay. Because then he can check his phone

and we can't get mad at him for checking his phone. All right. We will. Yeah, then we have to make drinks. Okay. Because then he can check his phone and we can't get mad at him for checking his phone. All right. We will. Yeah, then we have to make up another commercial. I mean, we have to go solicit another sponsor. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go make some phone calls.

I'm going to telemarket a sponsor for this break and we'll be back as soon as someone answers their phone. Hey, Steelstone Industries people, that's the hot thing right now trending on Twitter. Steelstone Industries in Holton, Maine. If you need asphalt work done and you're a municipality because they don't really do private work, they mostly do cities. So if you need asphalt done and you're a municipality, because they don't really do private work. They mostly do cities.

So if you need asphalt done, and you're a city, go to 154 Steelstone Road in Holton, Maine. It's just past where the old dump used to be. And talk to Blake McQuaid, Blake McQuaid of Steelstone Industries at 207. Write it down. Tattoo it on your arm like a holocaust survivor 207-532-2422 we put the two two in two four two two that's how you remember it it's one of those uh the things that makes you remember mnemonic device thanks and here's this message from Blake McQuaid. Hi, I'm Blake McQuaid.

And if you need asphalt, you better be a fucking city. We don't do personal stuff. Alright, and now back to the podcast. Hang on. Chad, what did you just find? How did this one not make the police beat cut? A two-year-old boy carrying a baby bottle was found walking in Hereford.

Well, I'm backed up like five weeks of police beats because you don't come around often enough. I blame the messenger. Don't be so scared to have Bingo text me. That's true. Maybe you're packing a trumpet. I have got some That's true. Maybe you're packing a trumpet. Noted.

I have got some words for drinking that are good. All right. Yeah. So you often talk about gin. All right. The back story is writing this book in the first few chapters, I ran out of analogies or synonyms for

being drunk. It's just shit face, shit face. Plow. Clean it up later. Capernoited, which is slightly muddled in the hand as a result of drink. You're doing whatever.

You don't listen to the podcast. When professors drink, they need a word. Okay, but I also like when you find words that describe something which you didn't know there was. Douglas Adams had a great book called The Meaning of Lith. Douglas Adams who created the

Hitchhiker's Guide. Listen to it on tape, but not on Audible, who has never called back. Yeah. They'll call back. A shot clog is a drinking companion who is tolerated because they pay for the drinks.

I like that. Stop pointing at me. I've become that guy over the last several years here comes old shot clogged Stanhope what are you having?

next CD shot clogged if the coat fits hey Johnny Brown just wear it we're building the bar in here so it accommodates both football in the funhouse and the podcast. Right off.

And I think maybe we named the bar the Shot Clock. Shot Clock. Stanhope, that's so great. I know. We thought a lot of things were great last night. We wrote them on our arms. Have they come up? No.

Yeah, they did. They came up on your cheek. Yeah. Chaley, go back a few seconds and then cut in a sound in the background of Bingo going, Stan Hope, that's so great. Okay, got it. H.L. Mencken, with whom you have some parallels.

Yeah, we used to be roommates. Yeah. Ombibulous, someone who will drink anything. I like that. That was Bo Laughman. Bo Laughman. uh ombibulous someone who will drink anything i like that that was bo laughman bo laughman it's funny because on the way down here or somewhere recently maybe as the you know last night i you know i came across some woman's name and her name was something like felicity tugwell i thought i mean tugwell really you think you'd have changed the family name by now? Or put E in there. Tugewell or something.

Tugwell. No, she never gets tired of the attention. She tugs well. I had fucking... Chad Shank is like a monkey on me because we're underneath the light with the door open and bugs are swirling around and Chad Shank is just sitting here

picking bugs off me. Kenny's pointing them out to me. He has an assistant. You're a bug picker. It's like washing chips at the zoo. Yeah. To be fair, I just like killing stuff. That's right.

Shot clock has its perks. That's right. Pick bugs off me. Beer's on me. Shot clock. All right. Well, that's the podcast. We're going to go back and do a fake open to the podcast after this fake close to what we didn't know was going to be a podcast.

We were just drunk and wanted to keep talking into microphones. It was beautiful. So enjoy the rest of the night, and we'll make up the beginning. Please hold, and good night. Oh, wait, no. So please hold, and here's Steve Drew with his new song from a band that he doesn't have a name for, but he has a song. He has a name, but he can't tell you. He'd have to kill you.

Yeah. From a distance without a word being spoken. Accurately. He'd tell you the name of the band if he could speak in public. That's right. And your body would be under asphalt somewhere. Don't call back to other podcasts

that we pretend we did yesterday. Alright, thank you guys for listening. Here's Steve Drew with his song. Is there a name for the song? Nope. There's no name for the song. This is an unknown band.

It's metal. It's Stairway to Heaven by Steve Drew. It's metal. You already tuned out hours ago. All right. Tears have calmed down, defecting my vision Powers erased as my shadow decreases Say yourself free Demolish My one, two, three Oh, yes

Say yourself free My vision My one, two, three Decreases Your self-fragrance My vision Oh, watch out Me decreasing A new kind of hate I am in, so to gain it Unleashed are the furies which once stood unfeigning Rapidly breaking through unchecked corruption

Lucid connections Now feel separated Set yourself free Deep in the road Power to me Holiness Set yourself free My vision Power to me Deep in the road My vision My vision My vision

My vision My vision My vision My vision My vision My vision My vision My vision

My vision My vision My vision Just for fear of a flame that has never been burning I'm fearing it, agony, never looking what I found A trudge they lost to a mountain peak, lost to a dream of power It's time to go Time to go Time to go guitar solo I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man. I am The War Now Death Death Death

Death Death Death Death Death