The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#333: An Aloft Comedy Classic Podcast - Week 3 Tour Report

Episode Date: September 28, 2019

Doug, Olivia Grace, Kristen Becker and Chaille discuss week 3 of the tour, a shit head who tweeted and Syracuse bartender Charlene's first time on stage at Stanhope's show at the Funny Bone in Albany, NY - (Sept. 26, 2019). Recorded Sept. 25th, 2019 at the Aloft hotel in Syracuse, NY with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Olivia Grace (@OliviaDoesBits), Kristen Becker (@beckercomedy)and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.Remaining 2019 Tour Dates are on the website. Never miss a new date or announcement by signing up for the Doug Stanhope Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/Support the podcast through our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast. New subscribers will automatically have access to a Bonus episode every month plus access to all past BONUS episodes. Any level of support is appreciated. Thanks in again as your subscription helps keep this podcast going. Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast) - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast).Fall 2019 Tour Dates are on the way so join the Doug Stanhope Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/This episode is sponsored by 'POPOV VODKA PRESENTS' VHS TAPE - Merch Page - www.DougStanhope.com/store (http://www.dougstanhope.com/store) - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?v=oIPRYcY_Xs8&redir_token=THAI8ouIQDtnov1_-Z9N9CsULH98MTU1OTM3MjkwMEAxNTU5Mjg2NTAw&event=video_description&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dougstanhope.com%2Fstore%2F)LINKS -HomeStretch Foundation - https://www.homestretchfoundation.org/We like what they are doing over at http://www.FIRRP.org (http://www.firrp.org/) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org (http://www.innocenceproject.org/)Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. This is an Aloft comedy classic podcast live from the Aloft Hotel, Inner Harbor, Syracuse. Is it Inner Harbor? It's Inner Harbor. In her harbor? Burn City. The last time we were here at the Aloft Comedy Classic Series in Syracuse was with special guest Sam Tripoli, if you remember, around the 4th of July.

He was just starting his tinfoil hat podcast which has since then blown up huge good for him us still stagnating still here had a blast in rochester last night that was a really fun show yeah this podcast is all for one fucking guy what yeah at least the beginning you said you wanted a podcast and i go oh we'll redo the one that... Yeah, we did one in Buffalo, but it was kind of... That's stagnated. We found a smoking place. Kristen Becker, who's not here, she went out to get lunch, so she's not on the podcast.

She's on this leg of the tour this week. Upstate New York. Cleveland. Buffalo. Rochester. Albany. Syracuse. Poughkeepsie. Should I start out with Tony Viagra?

Let's do that, and then I'll get to this one fucking asshole that this podcast is for and about. It's going to go out tonight. Yeah. Will that spill it? Well, I don't think he listens to the podcast. Well, I just said, yeah, fuck it. Tony Viagra, the gangster of comedy. He does, quote, over the edge, unquote, comedy. So he's been blowing up my email for months to host in Harrisburg.

And we're like, all right, Tony Viagra, the gangster of comedy. This has to be bad. And then I think Olivia or tracy someone looked him up and it was very neil hamburgery but i don't think he's kidding but it still was kind of quirky and i go all right we'll definitely use them but let's fuck with them first i should have the emails in front of me he's like i've i hosted the venue that you're playing and i've also done sets at some club in new york city and i acted like i read it all wrong and said sorry we're not going to be in new york city on this tour he's like no no i i host shows

where you're going to be playing in harrisburg and i so then i acted like i read it incorrectly oh we're also we also have a show that night in harrisburg so we won't be able to attend you i was break a leg he's like no i host shows there i go oh how many shows are there that night is it a festival please clear this up for me just kept no no i want to host your show and then we got a into a loop with chaley and hennigan all as though he's accidentally cc'd in it and we don't know it hey this gangster of comedy i don't know how we feel about security issues with an affiliated gang member on the show and i think he's caught on because he's just he just emailed me some smart fucky thing here's one of them. Your security concerns aside. Oh.

You started to get into like the. Well, Chaley was our head of security. Go scroll and read what you wrote. I wrote. You said I consulted with Greg Shaley, our tour manager, who shares your concerns about having an admitted gang member on the lineup. member on the lineup i'm cc'ing him on his on this missive so we we can all work together to make sure that previous hiccups litigation and criminal charges do not repeat themselves greg will fill us in on the cost to add metal detectors at the doors as well as more armed security this concern bubble doubles itself in that tony vager is currently an active

candidate for president as he professed as know, Secret Service is only made available for a candidate once they have officially been nominated to their respective parties. So this security would also be our concern and out of pocket. And Shaley responds to the group. Gentlemen, give me a half a day to run up by my contacts, local PD, FBI, ATF, etc. I've been doing this long enough, and this Viagra sounds familiar. If he's a problem, my guys will have the skinny. That other name, Jay Holstein, came up blank.

That's his real name, so that was one of the emails. I was confusing. Oh, I think we already have some guy named Jay Holstein, but I'll find out. I ended with just my two cents. I think we are all on the same page. No Chappelle. You forgot that part. Oh yeah, I said no. Chappelle also

texted me that he might be in the area and would love to host, but you know how he is about going over his time, and we want this ship to sail smoothly. I keep dropping, and then Chaley writes, yeah, I think we're all on the same page.

No on Chappelle. Here's another one from Doug. And this is to Hannigan and I as if it's an inner office memo. And somehow Tony Viagra has been overlooked as being part of the CC. So he's been getting these serves security concerns aside. I think we should focus a keen eye on material tony viagra is i'm saying i know you i'm sorry tony viagra is an over the edge comedian and some members of the team find this disconcerting in this current climate of sensitivity can we

really risk a loose cannon like this especially with a young female comedian on the same bill? Maybe Hennigan can reach out to Mr. Viagra to see if he's willing to dial his act back from over the edge to perhaps pushing the envelope or simply taking it to the limit. This is a different day and age, and we need to be able to adjust accordingly. Stan Hope. Yeah, that's when I get this smart fucking email back from him saying, I had a family emergency, so I can't make it Sunday night. Maybe you could use rusty floorboards, the cowboy comedian to fill in. So I don't know if he's taking it all.

Obviously, he knows it's a goof now, but it was a good-hearted goof. We were going to use you,ony viagra the fact that you would take the time to like go back and forth with him and then get other people involved it's all been like we don't hate him at all like we think it's fun would you yeah when you go by tony viagra the gangster of comedy comedy and say you're a quote over the edge comedian, that's fucking ridiculous. Well, you've been in this long enough. You've seen those kinds of. And he's like, we saw him.

He's an old dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I think it could be very funny. I don't know how much it's unintentionally funny, but. The Harrisburg gig is at the Harrisburg Midtown Art Center, and that's on September 29th. So this is going to play out one way or the other come next week yeah so yeah it'll be fun i doubt he listens to podcasts but so yeah if you know tony viagra don't tell him about the podcast don't be a little narc

you little fucking narcs you want to be first on the scene got a little inside fucking dope and you want to brandish your fucking new knowledge by narking ratting thinking there you go yeah i do what go ahead no i was gonna say i do think if if he ended up performing it would be one of those things where like everyone would be rooting for him you know what I mean like no one would be it wouldn't be to make fun of him it would be like yeah to enjoy him whack pack style yeah yeah this was certainly a diversion we were giggling like

little kids last night god anything to break up the monotony of our fucking acts which is what brings me to that one fucking fuck this is the reason you wanted to podcast. Yeah, and replace that boring one we did in Buffalo. Sorry if this Wednesday podcast doesn't get out until fucking 2 a.m. on Thursday.

But that's what you get. What do you want for nothing? We've had some great, great audiences on this tour. Elkhart, Indiana comes to mind. Well, this is the third week. And when we last left off, we were just getting to Elkhart. And that was when we... Yeah, and that crowd was great.

Kalamazoo was great. Well, we did Elkhart, Lansing. Yeah. Lansing was Lansing. Yeah. Just my head wasn't there. Yeah. Like we were talking about it.

Get to a place where I have to sit every day and either work on a chunk of my act, work on just opening shit that's new and different. Just anything to pump fucking life into it. It's a daily assault. So, yeah, we have been working. We are sitting with notepads and Hampton Inn fucking lobbies, drinking all their coffee and revolving door to go out and smoke. I do like when you talked about it's hard to remember what we talked about before and then what we put in the last podcast that we dumped. But you taking over the lobby of a hotel as your office, your writer's room. Yeah, you did that first at the Oradoc.

Marquette. In Marquette. And I thought that was great because you require a din. You require some kind of noise in the background, it would seem. Because of the Funhouse, that's how you wrote. Something would be going on or something like that. But nothing to engage you. And it seems like that's what happens in the loft.

And space. Yeah. I mean yeah we're fucking bunking up together me you and tracy and fucking six weeks worth of merch and dirty laundry yeah you get out into that breakfast area that is where there's no longer breakfast yeah you get spread out our footprint is pretty big in a hotel room yeah there's not much else begins immediately you don't even have that room to be able to because i if i'm doing something it's usually I'm taking the desk because I'm editing or I'm doing something for the show. Crunching numbers.

Counting beans. Yeah. There's no space. Yeah. No, I found that sitting in a hotel room to write or something about it, I just don't like. Stifling. I'm like, I'm going to sleep here. I don't want to work here too.

And like, yeah, I like that. It's interesting that you said that too. I think I finally had the realization today like i have to write every day i have to write something new every day and try something new every night it's like you know yeah the home of the grimace you invented the facial expression the grimace here and then i would grimace yeah it's from here. It's a fucking nothing thing to say, but it made me fucking happy to say it.

Any little thing, the fucking hospice care cost cutters. I get a little mileage out of that. We've talked about that in the past because I remember on Hedberg Tour, I would always watch the first 10 minutes of his show. I would make myself because I knew that it was going to be something that happened either after last night's curtain or on the road to this gig. And it was always something like you do where you talk about it. Or like when Olivia talks about the opener, she listened to the person before her to be able to incorporate that into the prime and the pump to get the to get going you got to do something yeah it freshens it up a lot

like last night i had a good riff about drinking in buffalo with kristin and it just smoothed and then i but i also figured out that if you do that you have to have a segue in mind into your first bit so i was able to figure out what the riff was and how it segued into what i wanted to actually talk about, and it worked really nicely, you know, because sometimes I'll riff and then give up and then go into material, and that just kind of, like, kills it, so. And I have to get to a place where I'm using absolutely none of the new special, which, for the most part, I have been, but some of the bits, like, I have so many ideas for bits,

and you just can't jam them all into one set so you work on one that day and you know that's fresh in your head and that will make everything else fresh yeah I've really been following your lead on how you do that because I have the same thing where I have like ideas but like just trying to cram it all into one set is just completely nonsense

it seems overwhelming to like to try and curate seven things all at once. And that's what, yeah, at the end of six weeks, all right, now you got, okay, now I got a fucking body. Yeah, I put meat on these fucking bones a little at a time. And last night was the fucking best audience in Rochester. Comedy at the Carlson.

It's their, they just celebrated two years yeah we did their grand opening the first headliner july 2nd 2017 yeah you got it it's a big they told me that huge warehouse instant recall i thought you remembered no well mark remembered he was telling me all about it he's like he's so stoked to be coming back here. And I go, no, this is great. He goes, you know, I've been working with you, Shaylee, like 10 years now. I go, what? I'm sorry, what? I thought I just met him last time we were here. He goes, no, I had that place over in Webster.

And I'm like, I don't know. Was I here? He goes, I've worked with you five times over the past 10 years. I go, well, it's great working with you. I just don't remember everything, you know. But his club, I always remember that one because it's an old sheer microphone facility. That's why all the floors are wood is because they couldn't have the static electricity. And that was a place that did stuff back in the day when Rochester was thriving and an industry town.

Yeah, I don't know what they thrive on now, but it wasn't apparent. They built another comedy room, not only the... No, I'm saying the town. Oh, I don't know either. But that was kind of the point of my opening riffs about the town and this tour. I won't go into it, but I had so much fucking fun on stage last night,

which is very rare for me. From the start? Yeah. Right from the start. Right from the start. Yeah. And yeah, the crowd was with you. And I just like beats I haven't even worked out yet.

I would drift into for bits that are in my notebook that I wasn't planning on doing. And it's one of those times where you take advantage of a fucking great crowd and being loose and just being just the perfect amount of alcohol which you can never judge but yeah I was I was hit my sweet spot

yeah and I woke up happy I have the tape to listen to I kept referring to Chaley fuck I'm glad we're taping this we better be taping this when I fuck with him you wanted me to take I went to chaley fuck i'm glad we're taping this we better be taping this that's when i fuck with him oh you you wanted me to take to i i went to get the merch and i left the room i never fall for that i know you don't you have before but uh yeah it's it's a sad thing to watch you crestfallen on something like last night was i could tell because you can't hear in the main area where the merch is so tracy has to sit out there and not

hear the show so i was kind of trying to keep her company and then i was on calls and stuff but when i finally started going in to like check on things i could just tell there was a there was a there was a thing in your voice and you could tell that you were you were you you did the dead kids. You were fucking over the top animated. You were skipping almost. Like you had a real lift in your body language. Yeah, the amount of material that I have been using that I didn't use. That's why I can't wait to listen to the tape. And I'm still not fucking disjointed, but I am.

Because this morning, woke up happy. I should know. Don't check your fucking email or your Twitter in the morning because I already fucking hate everything anyway. Just wait till later. Wait till you're in a good mood. Check it at night or don't check it at all. It's just one fucking tweet from an egg,

from a fucking egg. One of those I signed up for Twitter just to fucking tweet something negative at you, Zachary. And he says, no punctuation. He said, hey, man, next time you want to work out new material, don't charge $50 a ticket. Thanks. And I stewed in bed. Like, I had, I wanted to fucking, like, give me your fucking number. Here's one of those where you go, I'm going to say this.

Oh, Becker's here. Krista Becker's here. Clear out of space. Yeah, keep going. Hang on. Let's pause it. We'll take a break. Yeah, let's take a break.

Fuck you, Zachary. I'm coming back. Pause it. We'll take a break. Yeah, let's take a break. Fuck you, Zachary. I'm coming back. TheShadyDell.com.

That is where you stay. If you come to Bisbee and you're staying at The Shady Dell and I'm in town, I will have a beer with you. I won't hang out that long. We're not going to be good friends. I don't want you to fucking tell me you're going to kill yourself. We're not going to be good friends. I don't want you to fucking tell me you're going to kill yourself. But if you're staying at theshadydell.com, vintage trailer park with all 50s, 60s trailers that we live a mile away from,

and we look for reasons to go stay there, come to theshadydell.com. Sponsored by... I might even come in and clean your toilet. I don't know. Zap. All right, we're back, Zachary, with your fucking pro bono critique.

And there were so many answers to, hey, next time you want to work out material, don't charge 50 bucks a ticket. First of all, every set that I do ever, I'm working out material on some level. Whether it's new material, I'm not quite sure how it should go. Or if it's old bits, I'm tired of saying, and you you've said them so many times you don't remember what they mean.

And trying to bring life back into them by changing it up a bit, changing the order. Every fucking set you ever hear from me, I'm working out material. It's all a matter of how much I allow my inner dialogue to tell you exactly what I'm doing. And when you have a crowd that that's that good and you fucking nail a line that you didn't even know was coming out of your head and I tell you, fuck, I never said that before. Write that down, Chaley. I'm having fucking fun. So, yeah, you would not know that that was new material if I didn't tell you, if I didn't let you in on my inner fucking process. So you should feel happy.

And who are you? Who are you? The one guy that doesn't want the comedian to take a chance. If I said, oh, I don't know about this next bit. Everyone in the room is saying, fuck you. Do it. Yeah yeah no one's sitting there going tried and true please stuff you're tired of but you know it'll work for us he's one of those guys that wants to just say your punchline back to you right like he's one

of those guys he just needs to be a part of it exactly and the fact tracy can you do me a favor will you grab that coffee that's sitting on that trash can in there yeah it was over full and i was spilling it on my hand because i already drank one of these fucking americanos and my fucking booze tremors are off the fucking scale so i set that down rather than fucking have third degree burns on my hand while the entire front desk is watching me like that fucking cripple woman in the lobby yesterday oh my god she was the worst i even saw her again walking out the cancer lady was at breakfast she was praying before a meal i i usually do before a lobby meal

too but this was a little weird i she grabbed like a whole handful of green teas and was like, no, no, no. And walking towards the front desk. I'm like, what is this? I didn't even want to know what was happening. She kept wandering. Olivia and I were writing in the lobby. And she kept wandering in and just shuffling around like it was a hospice ward. She had the towel around her head, years old fucking probably chemo and you just

every time you saw her you winced and she but she kept every time i'd walk out she was out there coming out of a door or coming down a staircase when we're leaving for the show she had kinfolk helping her down a staircase elevator they're using this i have no idea maybe she wandered off maybe there was a silver alert in a fucking hotel. But she was walking down the stairs and I look and again I grimaced that I learned in Elkhart, Indiana. I gave the grimace when I saw her coming down and just then I guess the kinfolk

like stepped on her foot or something because she looked right at me and went, Ow! I shivered. Like you did it with a stick scared me oh my god so yeah what do you fucking want zachary who are you why is it in my head i just sat there and i everything i'm saying to you right now, I sat. All right, I'm going to tweet back. No, I'm not. Don't even address this guy.

How one tweet can fuck up your perfectly good mood. I finally got everything going in a way I wanted to go. And one fucking egg with no followers. A one tweet wonder. You know, the people that join Twitter just to say something shitty. Throw away email to sign up. He must have expected something. I don't know.

Fuck you, Zachary. Yeah, really. You know how long Olivia's been working to get Doug in a good mood one fucking night? Just pacing around, picking her nails. And then we jackpot. And then you fuck it up, Zachary. Yeah, Zachgery yeah seriously if that's even your real name yeah yeah i was walking out of the showroom as uh doug leaves the stage he goes smokes and those people file out and i'm grabbing the recorder and i'm heading out there a guy goes hey shaley man

big fan of the podcast he goes uh hey man thanks thanks. He goes, is he always working on new material? I go, well, that whole bit is one of the best versions of dead kids. And that's on the new special. I go, that was the best I've seen him do it. And the other stuff, that's how comedians come up with an hour, is they're constantly refining what they're doing you finally see the angle oh shit this goes perfectly with that other thing i was thinking and now i put them together and wow this is fucking working so this kid looks at me and goes

wow that's cool yeah i mean he gets it he goes oh that's that's how it works yeah that's a little bit behind the curtain that's how this works you know it that's a little bit behind the curtain. That's how this works. It is, yeah. So someone who just wants to watch an automaton robot through a set, go watch fucking the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland. That's the same every time. Watch the special. Wait for the special to come out, and then you don't have to worry about your fucking ticket price.

You can be assured that everything's been edited and glossed up and every hiccup. Zachary Spex. Yeah. Yeah. Everything taken out that might delay the process of you getting through your fucking hour. But you're also doing an hour 20, which is like a fucking show and a half from any standard

club. Like standard club headliners going to do what? 50 minutes maybe. Right. So like even if you did fucking a half hour of shit you've been doing for 15 fucking years, they're still getting an extra 50 minutes more. I mean, you do a fucking long set, man. Yeah.

And if you had to do that, God, if you had to do the same. I had some guy tweet me once. I like the tweets where you're just a fucking. But he said, I think it was Bill Maher. Bill Maher tweeted you? No, a guy tweeted. He said, yeah, well, Bill Maher does 90-minute sets. I guess I probably just did a set that he saw that was an hour 10 or something.

Well, yeah, well, it's a rip-off because Bill Maher does 90-minute sets. And I go, 90 minutes of shit is shit. He's fucking awful. It's so baffling what people complain about after they see comedy. It really is. You know? Well it also like just shows how much, how little they actually know

about comedy, right? The process of it. Why wouldn't you be polished it's like because that's what i'm doing right now it's like you i'm you're booking the hours i can see where they would if they don't understand they're like wait a minute you mean you went out on the road and you don't have your act completely down pat like you don't ever down pat i want you to monetize this for me zach Zachary. Don't charge $50 a ticket if I'm working stuff out. So if it's a new bit, like at what stage should I charge more or less per bit?

Which of the bits do you think were not worth $50? And how much do you think they were worth? If we were to give you a refund like the fucking best western should in buffalo for not having fucking hot water and so yeah it's a relentless daily trying to get my money back through expedia for not having hot fucking water if they said well you know how much would you expect to pay for a hotel if we advertised no hot running water? I would say probably nothing. It's illegal for a house not to have running water.

Yeah, that's... And you'd think they'd call the fucking guests inside and go, by the way... It was overnight no water. Yeah, because I tried that before. So where is the emergency where the guy comes out immediately? For an entire hotel to be out of hey was your fitness center open during that because a lot of people were probably running on a fucking treadmill expecting a hot shower afterwards did you warn them yeah

yeah it was literally yeah you were on the elliptical people i was on the elliptical and i was like i can't get back into a cold yeah you had a fucking cold shower the first time and well and also fuck you for making me question my own intelligence, because I just thought no way this hotel doesn't have hot water. I just don't know how to use the shower. So could I bill them for the 40 minutes I sat there trying to fucking figure out how to turn the hot water on? Yeah, I stood there

fucking naked for 15 minutes waiting for it to heat up. That's what I did. That's what I did before you did it. I was like, that's when I texted you. I was like, I'm going to take a shower. I'll leave the door open for you. Best Western on the Avenue, Buffalo. Pardon our dust, they say. Pardon our dust.

We don't have water. That's why it's dusty, because we couldn't wash it off. You know, I think the Trout, I think they have a shower in the green room. They do. Yeah, you could have showered there. Well, we're assuming they have hot water. Oh, yeah, the comedy at the Carlson. I could have pissed inside. We were sitting out on

a loading dock out back for a green room but you could smoke there so it was perfect. And I kept pissing in bottles because I assumed that the men's room you had to go through the crowd but that wasn't the case after all the pissing in water bottles. I still believe that's a chop shop i think it's

snow plows no yeah landscaping people were pulling in late last night yeah jim or he was hot wiring and stealing that dump truck and not our business man we're out of here we don't ask a lot of questions yeah that place was great come backurban's got rims. Spinners. That's it so far. I'm going to go listen to that set. I am going to watch my special today because I do have a rough edit. You keep asking me when it's coming out. When I get around to looking at the rough edit and giving Hennigan notes,

and I'm going to do that today. I'm going to force myself. Well, you've got to finish this tour and steal everybody's money and do all your old stuff first. No, at best, I do one bit from that set yeah everything else is working pretty i mean i i don't i i can go up without having notes but i still take them every day i said this i i believe it was on the last podcast that we should can't so i'll repeat it this this has gone smoother than the last couple of tours of when you had something that was coming out like Canada was the one that remember yeah that's up until London Ontario you could do all the material and that night you announced well this is it for all of this because the special comes out tonight and then the next day you

basically had to run off of a yellow legal pad but in the past it seems that you didn't have as much at the start of the tour and you you built from there whereas this tour i think you had some things that were hip-pocketed for the start of this yeah it's impossible to fucking remember anymore but there's some bits i go all right that's not on the special but i might have been doing that two years ago and then kind of dropped it but you don't know as long as we're having fun that's uh in my head i was i don't know if i've said this but i was thinking all right fucking channel your inner burt kreischer on this tour because just have fucking fun don't sweat oh wait this this won't this isn't the new special

yet well no it doesn't have to be as long as the that night you're having fun and they're having fun goofing around yeah and that's that's what i've noticed too is like no matter how much i work on my set beforehand if like we're not in a good headspace and that's all of us at the same time. If there's something off kilter or I get in my head or I'm not having fun, then I just, no matter how hard I've worked, it doesn't go well for me. I just don't feel comfortable

on stage. You guys, with that fucking open mic. At Buffalo. At the Tudor. Tudor Lounge in Buffalo. And I swore I wouldn't go out. Nah, I'm not going to fucking open mic. If it was like half a block from the hotel, I'd go.

I ended up there. We even had a bet going of like, okay, who's the first person that can get Doug to go do something and have fun? Yeah. And that, yeah, you won. You won. I almost got you gay that night, too. You almost got me gay that night. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Not me. Not me. Someone better looking. But someone a little bit younger. Kristen gets a bonus. That was a joke that Doug made a while ago. Kristen gets a bonus if she turns me gay. Oh, he told you it was a joke?

Oh, maybe you do get a bonus. There's a bounty. There's always a bounty out there for some. You know there's multiple bets running right now. We had a one. Oh, jeez. No, I'm kidding. But you guys both went up at that open mic.

That night when I walked in there, Trace and I went back to the hotel, dropped off the gear, came back. I walked in to just the doorway, and people were pointing out Doug, or some people there were saying, the Doug Stanoff show, and he's right here. He's fun.

And I'm like, oh, fuck. That's the one thing that he wants to go sit in back and watch. Right. And they're pointing him out, and then he jumps out the door, and I go, look, let's get out of here. I want to go get some food anyway, and we'll just get on the street. So we left, and I thought you guys were going to come behind us but then I don't know what I don't even know I wanted to see their sets yeah and and it was also like I mean Buffalo is kind of a don't give a fuck right like I once the initial like shock of you know you just fucking

walked into I've been at that open mic many times and that was more people than is usually there and you know and then once you got there there was another influx of people because it's Buffalo and people tweeted or texted each other and whatever and so but like the initial I feel like there was definitely a little bit of that but then everyone kind of went back to yeah who the fuck nobody you know because it's a fucking biker bar

at the end of the day right but it was yeah it was people from the show right yeah traveled over there and you got all right don't do that you know let's take pictures it's and then you know you did it and then the next day the Disneyland stuff was up on on stage yeah for the show like it was a really great it was fun to watch it was fun to watch the process of yeah that story you told about getting stabbed do you use use that in your set? I've never told it on stage. Oh, now you've got to get that in your fucking act.

Yeah, I literally like... It's not even... They find her dead three weeks later in a ditch. I didn't even get to the end of it because I was too drunk. The story's crazy. It's crazy, but yeah, I totally... I told it once and it was recorded. You've got to tell it. You're going to J.T. Habersat's thing this weekend.

Yeah, it's in Austin, Texas. J.T. Habersat's thing this weekend. Yeah, it's in Austin, Texas. J.T. Habersat's Punk Altercation Festival. Yeah, it starts today. 25th to the 28th. Kristen, you're on Saturday, right? Yeah, Saturday with Whitney Chitwood. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah, double-fisted. We stole Olivia Grace from that. Yes. But Chad Shank and Andy will be down there. Brett Erickson. Jeff Tate will be there. Tate. Christine Levine.

Oh, yeah. Mishka. Christine Levine. All right. Apparently, you didn't catch me all up. No, we just like to shit on Mishka. It's fun. It's fun.

So we talked about Elkhart, Lansing, Mount Clemens, the Detroit show at the Emerald. Yeah. That was fantastic. Cleveland. I love that venue. We talked about that. Buffalo, the Trouth, and then Rochester. That was since the last podcast.

I love the Trouth and the Chili's. It's a great venue. It is. It's a great venue. It is. It's a great stage. Yeah. Great stage. Good recording off that one, too. So I don't know if...

It's kind of like the one tweet thing. Like one tweet that kind of sellies my entire good mood from a night. One $3 for a club soda? Really? Come on. Come on, venue. venue yeah that was weird so uh well i'll just run down real quick this week we've got well tonight is syracuse and albany and poughkeepsie uh and then next week poughkeepsie sold out oh yeah yeah harris hopefully harrisburg featuring tony viag, the gangster of comedy.

We got Richmond coming up. Oh, Richmond's going to be a special one. And Patreon, too. That podcast is definitely Patreon. That'll be a podcast for the ages. I can't say any more. All right. After that, we got Greensboro coming up, Charlotte, Asheville.

This is a long week. Asheville, Columbia, Raleigh. That's a straight six shows. Good. I like it. Yeah, yeah. Be fun. Nights off just make me forget what the fuck I was doing.

You lose momentum. But you do have clean socks. If tickets are available, get them online at DougStanup.com. And if they're not available, call... Oh, Kristen Becker, hang on, what's your festival?

Provincetown. Yeah, yeah, End of the Earth Comedy. Yeah, October 10th through 12th. Sean Patton, Debra DiGiovanni, Jay Shanoin's coming, Sydney Washington,

who's this hot queer woman of color coming out of New York, which I'm super stoked about. And yeah. Just going to fucking P-Town. You fucking assholes that never leave your town limits sitting in Grafton somewhere at the one pub with Sully. Yeah, fucking get in a car.

Road trip to the end of the Cape. It's a beautiful place, man. It's fucking gorgeous. You forget. It's so pretty. It's so close. And it's off-season, so it's fucking affordable and 50% less gay, so you can handle it.

Worcester, you can handle it. Yeah. This has been another Aloft Comedy Classic with Kristen Becker, Olivia Grace, my best friend Greg Chaley. And my best friend Doug Stanhope. And fuck you, Zach. No refunds bitch take us out of this stop hold everything this story just got weirder a few days later sorry if the wednesday podcast comes out on saturday night but uh at the aloft, an Aloft comedy classic, well, what happened was we did

that show that night and came back to the Aloft, and we had a lot of cocktails with our bartender, Charlene. Charlene was very spirited, funny. She had a kick in her step. She was very Maria Bamford-ish and quirky and very fucking funny. So as the drinks progressed, we kept imploring her that she should do stand-up comedy. Generally, this is a huge mistake. I've made it it before but we were telling her to drive from syracuse all the way two and a half hours to albany the next night to uh to do time on our show because we know that she knows drunk people and she can say yes or maybe or perhaps and uh and then blow us off. So I did think about it again, thinking there's no way she's showing up.

And of course, she showed up. And Kristen Becker brought her up on stage. She goes, I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just tell you that shit story I told you at the bar. goes, I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just tell you that shit story I told you at the bar, which is great when any bartender starts talking about shitting on people's chests and backs. When you first sit down at happy hour, yeah, you tend to find an affinity for that person. She goes, I guess I'll just talk about that. And and it was brilliant. And she killed I don't want to get

your hopes up. She killed for a bartender that drove two and a half hours having no fucking idea what she was going to say in front of a packed audience. So yeah, we destroyed her life. Your applause in Albany has made

a bartender hate bartending and want to do stand-up comedy. So here is audio that Chaley pulled from that show of Charlene, the Aloft bartender. She only works there one night a week. So if you're in Syracuse, stop by for trivia night and say hello to Charlene and implore her to stop being a bartender and start doing comedy. Here it goes. The Wednesday podcast will be out again on Wednesday this time. And if you're not on Patreon, you better get on it because we get a couple of fucking podcasts in the works, in the holster, in the chamber, ready to, yeah, there's going to be some good shit coming up.

We're at the halfway point of this tour. Enjoy Charlene. We have a surprise special guest for you all. Let me tell you a story. I don't know if you know anything about Douglas, but sometimes when we're out on the road, we go back to the hotel and we drink. And that's what we did last night a lot. Okay. And turns out the bartender, Charlene, had said to us, I want to do comedy. And if you know anything about Doug, you don't fucking say that in front of him unless you're ready to put out, right? Like that's the reality of it. And so Doug says, oh really? Well, there's a show

in Albany. I'll give you a couple minutes. Fucking piss or get off the pot. And we think, ha ha ha, we're all drunk. Here we go to bed. On my drive here, we get a text. Charlene's like, I'm on my way. I'm like, this bitch. Okay. Okay, this bitch. So unfortunately, I don't know her last name

because she was our bartender but please put your hands together and welcome to the stage bartender Charlene hi how are you give it up for Kristen right you did a great job I really can't fucking follow that I really fucking can't I'm telling you right now I just came here a great job. I really can't fucking follow that. I really fucking can't. I'm telling you right now, I just came here to prove a point. I really didn't come here to tell any jokes. I mean, I think, let's see, I like poop. I think it's funny. I think people think it's funny. And I mean, when I'm like watching a stand-up and someone's talking about poop or farting, I think it's like the greatest thing in the world. But I did hear that people like to do other things besides laugh and

take shits. They actually like to smear it on themselves. And it's called Kappa something. It's called scat play. That's what it is. I don't know what it is. I heard the song scat man. I don't know if you heard that. I don't know if I'm getting the words right. It sounds like he should have said, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Because I think he's talking about shitting on people. Because, I mean, it's funny. I don't know how it gets started. But I hope it doesn't get started when people think it's funny.

Because if that's the case, then I'm going to be shitting on people in like five years. So I don't fucking know. It's weird. I mean, I have a lot of questions about. So I don't fucking know. It's weird. I mean, I have a lot of questions about it. I didn't fully go on the porn situation and watch it. I had some things going on in my head that I didn't like what I saw.

But, I mean, there's just a few questions. Like, when a guy comes on your back, you got to sit there until he wipes it off, right? Or you're just like, come on, dude, like, put your fucking sandwich down, like, wipe this cum off my back. So now if someone shits on your back, whether it be like a clumpy one or oozy one, depending on your source of likeness for the shitting scat situation of whatever, I mean, to each their own, right? I mean, I'm sorry if you guys like it. I think it's fucking disgusting. But I mean, to each their own, right? I mean, I'm sorry if you guys like it. I think it's fucking disgusting. But I mean, do you get a sock to wipe it off or a towel? I mean, how much, a sock? Did I hear a sock? Uh-oh. He takes tiny shits. I'm just letting you know right

now. He takes, he's putting his head down. I mean, you lay that out for yourself. Do you like, what kind of poop you like? I'm going to go with none. None? So you're a pee dude. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. These are just a few questions I have.

Now you have a nice little visual situation. If you go online, there's a nice article that talks about make your dreams come true. And there's a picture of Guy with poo on his hands. So if you want to explore it more, have fun with that. You will definitely have fun with that. Next, I'm done. This makes me completely fucking nervous. Thank you so much.

I really appreciate it. But you know our next guest? Olivia Grace from Comedy Central. So give it up, guys. Fantastic. One more time for Charlenelene the bartender from the hotel that's ballsy man that was awesome oh shit you shut up i did not do that on purpose

yeah charlene was asking me before, she's like, I think I wanted to do a joke about poop. Is that too much for them? And I'm like, no. No. I'd be happy to do my poop jokes too, if that's all right with everybody. I will say goodnight,

but not before I have Charlene come back up and close out the show. Because if you're not hooked yet, just come on up and say goodnight, but not before I have Charlene come back up and close out the show because if you're not hooked yet, just come on up and say goodnight. Thank you for coming. You're going to close out the show now. You don't have to do material. You just want to thank him for coming.

Tell him to come out next week. Just basic MC skills. Thank you very much. Don't come out and see him again. He's not funny at all. No, to other people. Okay, what's going to happen? I'm going to... See, that was my closer bit. I'm going to say this.

No, no. And then you're going to get a huge round of applause for you. You're going to go, thank you for coming, Albany. And have a great night. Yeah, Albany. Albany? No, Albany. Say Albany. Albany? No, Albany. Say it weird.

Albany? Ladies and gentlemen, Charlene. Just let her fucking feel your love. Thanks for coming out, Albany. Woo! All right, that's us. Let's go. Take us out of this, bingo.

Okay, bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you. She looked right at me and went, Ow!