The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#338: Cleaning Up After Andy - Part 2

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

Part Two: Bisbee resident Andrew Nelson actually spent the summer with Andy Andrist and everybody has questions. Also, Chad's recaps his second comedy festival.Doug's last DVD, “No Place Like Home,��� is now available on Amazon Prime - https://amzn.to/35ila3gRecorded Oct. 21, 2019 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Olivia Grace (@OliviaDoesBits), Andrew Nelson, Chad Shank, (@HD_Fatty), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.2020 Tour Dates are made available first to members of the Doug Stanhope Mailing List. Join today at https://www.dougstanhope.com/Support the podcast through our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast. New subscribers will automatically have access to a Bonus episode every month plus access to all past BONUS episodes. Any level of support is appreciated. Thanks in again as your subscription helps keep this podcast going. Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast) - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast).This episode is sponsored by The ISSUES WITH ANDY Podcast with Andy Andrist, Brett Erickson, Chad Shank and Chaille - New episode every Friday and only available on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCHhpCYwNEGcS_DA7VjG4Dw (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?v=oIPRYcY_Xs8&redir_token=THAI8ouIQDtnov1_-Z9N9CsULH98MTU1OTM3MjkwMEAxNTU5Mjg2NTAw&event=video_description&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dougstanhope.com%2Fstore%2F)LINKS -HomeStretch Foundation - https://www.homestretchfoundation.org/We like what they are doing over at http://www.FIRRP.org (http://www.firrp.org/) - Check it outSupport the Innocence Project - http://www.innocenceproject.org (http://www.innocenceproject.org/)Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast everyone is gone from the uh Andy Andrist's clusterfuck, Gala Weekend. But what we didn't know, Andrew Nelson, have you been on the podcast before? Never? Probably talked shit about, but never. Yeah, well, yeah. I'm pretty sure we've talked shit about you.

Yeah. I do it, not even on the podcast. I'm going to say, I should do the podcast. I've only met you like three times, and I can't help myself. Andrew, aside from building half this house, caretaking half this house, being part of the non-football secret football packer brigade that is here when I'm not, you also do, or do you still do radio locally? No, I quit that when the whole thing blew up.

All right, but you did. Yeah. KBRP. Yeah. But you disappeared to the Northwest every year, and it wasn't until Andy was here this weekend that we found out you spent the fucking summer at Andy Andrus house. Yeah.

Chaley's. I they thought that his house and his wife and his child were all a myth because Chaley's been to his house twice and never met his wife. She was there. It's like he's like, did you did you see someone by that window it's like where is she yeah we talked about it like oh we're gonna finally see this person and never i don't know what it was and this was before the well she has an aversion to comics embrace what you hate and a big stain on the carpet, on the staircase that she continually reminded me of. This is a life of having comics around.

Wait, I don't know that Andy has comic friends where he lives. I wouldn't. I didn't know he had people over. No. I think she's just basing it on how much she hates Andy, probably. It could be. But no, she never seemed to hate andy she was always what was that i i there's a movie where the the the lady uh kathleen turner is a serial killer

serial mom serial mom but she all she had that leave it to beaver kind of nice personality where she's completely oblivious to what andy does like when i met andy 20 years ago maybe he's like yeah she came to like one of my first open mice but she's never been to a show since like she's that explains it it was just it was an interesting environment i can say that much i thought i'd just visit for a few days that's what i told andy when i saw him last year. And I said, look, I'm not soliciting business, man. I'm just saying I want to come visit you.

And then, you know, stayed in their house. And... What? Whoa. Back up. You're here to fill in the... The structure is fine. It's...

The structure of the house. Yeah. It's well built. Yeah. It's really cool, actually. Yeah. Nice houses. And he doesn't live in a plastic shed.

Hey. If his wife had her way, maybe so. No, I think you all know the backstory. If not, his wife converted to Jehovah Witness. Yep. And you live in a household where after a brain disease yeah she's still dealing with she's got a horrible limp and she can't see she's legally blind which helps if you don't want to look at the painting andy did in the bedrooms because he kind of took his cues from three students when it came to painting

that wasn't black and white but free help was free help yeah so how did you end up i'm just visiting to staying there for this summer well the decks around their house you could step through them there was big gaping fucking holes uh I volunteered years ago when it was better, but still bad. And I just decided to pull the trigger on it since they had me. And I cut them a hell of a rate, too. Yeah, you always do. You're the one person in Bisbee I go, no, I'll tip you out. I'm paying more than you asked.

I don't feel ripped off. Yeah, Like every other Fucking project In the last Fucking 15 years Yeah you're an easy mark Word on the street I was thinking that earlier

When you were telling me A story But I didn't say it out loud Yeah We all know that In the trades So wait You were up there

Visiting with him But you were also Like fixing stuff Around the house Yeah I was gonna be My Eugene summer Lots of friends You do that every year You go up there And with him, but you were also fixing stuff around the house. Yeah. I was going to be my Eugene summer. Lots of friends.

You do that every year. You go up there. Right. And I take care of my mom. And I work. And all the little bandmates were going to be in Eugene. And so it was a great time to reconnect with everybody. And like I said, I had no idea I was going to spend a fucking summer with him.

And there's nothing wrong with spending the summer with Andy. You just got to be ready for it. That's all. How much of the time was he there every time i was there until he left for this last tour when he went to austin and i wish he had stayed and nothing against his wife i mean she's perfectly fine and so forth i just can't imagine two diametrically opposed human beings sharing the same everything together because it was like when she got brain disease erdheim chester's uh that he could finally say oh she found his pot like she doesn't know you

smoke pot you do everything and pot is like gonna be a deal breaker in your relationship well not anymore deal to deal with nice he you wake up at uh andrew's household to the sound of andy hacking up yesterday's pot at five in the morning because andy gets up awfully bloody early yes he does but he goes and fetches uh pastries so forth. So when I get up, I've got something to eat with my coffee. Good man, Andy. You can say fetch about a white guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise, that would be.

Step and fetch or just fetch? I don't really know a lot about Andy. He has kids too, right? He has a daughter. One daughter. How old is she? She's grown. 27-ish.

Yeah, that was always the stay together for the kids thing and then the kid was you know off and gone and a smart fuck i remember heckling me in portland i mean i was i i started it but yeah she's a smart fuck good kid yeah was she around only briefly and she didn't want anything to do with me because I was one of her dad's friends. Which was kind of weird because there's your blank slate, and, of course, it's already dirty when you get it. Go ahead. What kind of stuff did you guys do for fun when you weren't working on them?

Well, after pastries. Well, from the very beginning, we went to a bar that Steve Pre used to hang out in. He's a runner. Andy's a runner. The whole fucking town's running. And that was good, you know, to hang out around a little history. When was Steve Prefontaine back in the day? Oh, yeah, Prefontaine.

Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, we'd go out to eat and hang out and so forth. But most of the time, I just listened to Andy kind of rant and rave and yell at the dog. And, yeah, the dog didn't know that it was being yelled at. I mean, that's just a continual thing that happens. I don't think I brought this up on the podcast that we already did. But, no, I didn't. Andy, when he was coming down here, when we're still coming off the road he went and went bike

riding did we bring this up with katherine bertine you know my summer health kick lady yeah my best friend in the whole wide world yeah uh they went and there couldn't be bigger polar opposites and she came down here for the stair climb on the same weekend we're filming and uh she said yeah andy he's we went on a bike ride and you know andy he just talks and talks and talks she's such a sweet pure person and and he goes from one subject to the other without, it's really kind of fun. It's endless. When we were in Austin, after we did the live issues of the Andy podcast,

somebody came up and they're like, I've never heard of this or you guys, but now I'm subscribing, you know, this is, this is great. And I says, yeah,

it's better. I said, go back and listen from the beginning because the longer, you know, Andy, the funnier he is because he might finish a joke today. And if you didn't hear the first part of it three weeks ago, you're not going to get it.

That's how we always described him. We'll catch up with you because I want to hear your stories. I know you've done them on your podcast because I don't know shit about what happened in Austin. Okay. Let's preface this by um i love andy you know and yeah he's fully into his mania while you're around him and he's just churning all the time and yeah you really got to keep up with what the hell he you know he's saying because you're right

chad you know he's finishing off something he told you days earlier so it's good for my memory skills i used to say that becker because becker and i becker and andy are different but very similar in their and i always blame becker for me learning to tune out where i can't unlearn it you're not even listening to me anymore well blame Becker from 1992 because we used to spend days together in the car just to get to the next gig with Becker nonstop. And you just, and I've learned to do that with Andy. He's great at a party because he'll start a sentence or a story and you just walk away from it and he'll move into another group at a party and continue with the same dialogue or walk up to you, continuing a dialogue from someone else who walked away.

That's the saving grace about being on Andy. You can just walk away from it, start up a song, whatever, make some fucking noise, you know, break it up. He's not demanding of your attention, but if you give it to him, he'll take all of it. No, the story's going to happen whether you're there or not. He's not demanding of your attention, but if you give it to him, he'll take all of it. No, the story's going to happen whether you're there or not. That's just it. Yeah.

Whether I'm listening or the dog is listening. He's definitely not like a needy storyteller at all. Just like talking. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and the podcast would come up, and I'd split, luckily, because it was kind of nice to get away from time to time.

That's another thing. We've been doing the Issues with Andy podcast where all four of us are in different locations. Not once did he mention you were there. We didn't see you. I had no idea. We were on the air with him. We've done 10 episodes.

He didn't mention it on the podcast because I knew. I don't know when I knew. I don't talk to Andy outside of the podcast. I didn't talk to him. Maybe he told me at some point. I think he know when I knew. I don't talk to Andy outside of the podcast. No, there's no other reason to. But I knew. Maybe he told me at some point. I think he told me maybe in Austin. And our whole podcast is, what did Andy do this week?

Never once was it, well, Andrew's up here, and we went to the bar. Did you see the Sheryl Crow background? Yeah, I had to go fetch that for him. That would be racist if you weren't a white guy. it's the fetch i don't know i think i picked that up i gave that up on my dogs years ago yeah so i was uh andy's gopher at times and i you know and i'm going back next year in may to finish up some stuff there and watch his wife turn her back on him while they're eating. I mean, physically

turn the chair around. She's blind. She doesn't have to watch him eat. Why does she have to turn around? I thought you were saying turn her back on you because... No, she was great to me. You got it.

Gotta. The only thing I remembered that I knew, Andrew, was at Andy's house is because Andy, in passing, had mentioned, well, maybe he'll fuck my wife and take her off my hands. Oh, yes. Yeah, he was asking for that from the get-go. And it's like, I haven't even

seen her. Wait, you were considering, but you just hadn't seen her? Oh, no, no, no, no. He's going back. He is going back. Didn't have enough time to wait as an option. Yeah, so I mean, yeah, that's kind of how everything got set up

from the very beginning, and it's like, oh, this is going to be fun. We haven't even met the house yet, and these kind of things are being talked about. he told he told you that too uh over beers okay i was afraid i was talking about a turtle no so you're living in a household where everything could go kaboom at any moment and it's like how do i get into these things where were you where were you planning on going i had friends all over the place and friends in portland and vancouver and i was going to do some camping all over the area a lot of that got cut

short because i was busy working for andy which is fine you know it's it's a it's you know it's what i do and at least it's not like some of the people around here you excluded yeah um i can't really can't describe it that's the worst part about it i mean but if you've witnessed it it's just holy smokes if this is what has to happen for him to deliver what happened on saturday night so be it it's yes lightning doesn't strike twice yeah but it struck glad you were here for that show yeah so am i that was wonderful i got to hear about all kinds of stuff from his past and so forth that had no relation to anything we were talking about that's that's our boy tells good stories they just lack context make up your own

context they're good oh uh well i'll save that for next year hugh fink was a comic that i think he still writes for like saturday night live but he was uh one of the first guys i worked with and he had this bit about i hate it when when people say to make a long story short, because sometimes they shorten it so much. I don't know what they're talking about. So, yeah, I met my wife. We dated all through high school. And then we got married on our 21st birthday.

To make a long story short, she's a heroin addict. And it was just a really silly small bit but it's definitely andy he makes a long story indecipherable and longer with he jumps like that from one imagine being inside that head though That's the part that is, you know, is the scary part to where it's because my head's always going a lot. But before I start to talk, I usually try to contextualize it so that other people aren't lost. He'll just start right where he was in his head. times on the road where i fucking hit a stride where i'm writing fucking maniacally in an afternoon sitting in a fucking holiday in express fucking after hours breakfast bar with olivia and i'm like there's no way i just wrote 20 minutes of fucking strong stuff and i can't put it together and this is how andy andrews head has to be all the time imagine being his neighbor i have a confession i guess

now would probably be the good time to bring it up about uh saturday night uh so saturday before saturday's show uh a generous uh guest had uh gave me a bindle of cocaine so right on so a little bit before andy show his uh handler comes up and says can you get cocaine i have money i get and i go okay let me ask around for because there's some people you don't want talking more i'm like let me let me look and she's like well andy is really having a hard time and and he's asking, he wants to, you know, and I go, before the show, him and I had already talked about that. And he, about that time, he comes up to me. He was not in as good a place pre-show that I had seen him.

And I just need a little bump to get focused. And I was like, all right, all right, Andy, here, take this. Don't overdo it, man. Just do it medicinally. And I knew. Wait, you gave him the whole bindle? Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, to me, I realized what I did immediately after and then followed him into the room he went into to supervise.

So I did. I was responsible after. But I didn't. Everybody's going to blame me when this goes tits up. I'm not going to be responsible. All these people are out here. So I didn't, if it didn't go well Saturday, I would not be telling you guys this story.

But I was glad I did because he was focused and fucking on target Saturday. It's funny because after uh after that did i uh andy had rolled five joints and left him out here and a friend that was still here uh said is there any way you can get weed and i go let me go out and i found his weed but i replace i stole one of his five joints but i replaced it with my last adderall because i don't do them anymore but i did that to send a message i think i already said this on another podcast well in honor of andy i wore one of the many t-shirts he gave me today probably stole it from me probably but there was always a t-shirt in my room from time to time. It's like, what the fuck is this on my bed? Did he jack off in it?

Probably. No, Andy, but more probably an excuse to rifle through my luggage. That's true, too. And then you said that thing the other night, Doug, about him snitching drugs and so forth. And then my value I got earlier this year from Mamu went missing. I was like, Holy fuck. He got me, you know,

but I found it. It was a little light, but I found it. Yeah. Chad's the one who said, uh, yeah. Andy came up to me.

He goes, yeah, you're the only person. I think it was Vegas. You're the only person I won't go through your, that's how I became his roommate in Vegas was because that was in Alaska. He said it out loud to the whole room yeah chad shank is the only one i won't go through his shit to look for drugs

i immediately looked over at shaley and i saw shaley next thing i know i was rooming with andy i like andy and i get along well i like being with andy oh yeah yeah no he's he's a ton of fun. You just got to keep up. Yeah, I enjoy his company a lot, too. Normally, like, I love it when people are talkative, and he's the kind of talkative where it's like, he doesn't feel like you owe him a response. It's just sort of whatever. It's genuinely on the front of his mind that comes out of.

That's one of the reasons, like, Andy, one of my best friends in the world ever, but I don't keep up with him because I hate talking on the phone. And imagine having to, like if we're drinking together, yeah, if you want to talk to me, we'll be at a bar. A phone isn't a social place. You get a phone call from Andy, you look at your watch and see if you have social place. Yeah. You get a phone call from Andy, you look at your watch and see if you have enough time.

Yeah. Yeah. So I hate that about phone calls. My least favorite part of a phone call is when saying like, okay, I got to go. Cause I'm so worried about hurting the other person's feelings, you know?

And like, do you get that kind of phone anxiety? Like, do you feel obligated to listen? I, I, I have, well,

it's not even a listen. It's a, even talk back. If I'm on the phone that means i'm probably in front of a tv i'm always somewhere where something else is taking my fucking attention well andy and we know you're listening pal so we all love you so don't worry about that yeah like i said i'm gonna step right into it again next year if it's still there. If Andy's still there.

Maybe get a little, huh? Well, there's that. And you might get shivved between now and then. How hot's that limp on the wife? If there was a time when I kind of liked it, it's a little easier to get. She's already half bent over. I'm going to fuck the Jehovah's List. I i'm gonna fuck the jehovah right out of you you know something i think shank's gonna be my helper next year you'll be the witness to the jehovah yeah we'll put a tent on the back deck for you the witness

out of you yeah so we had to live under these that and she's got her own gig and you know i can't slight her for that that That's what she wants to do. But these two are just, oh, dude, I don't know how you're going to solve this. That's been going on since before I've known Andy. They've always lived in this separate situation. It's like if Bingo never came over here dressed in outlandish outfits she just stayed at the quiet house perfect and you go does he even really have a wife yeah she's a sweetheart but no one ever sees her she's just over there sometimes being married is a lot like a business

partnership i think too my wife and i are complete opposites, probably as much or more as Andy and his wife. But she definitely doesn't care. She'll stay up all night while I'm fucking partying, doing cocaine. She's the only one not doing anything still there at 3 in the morning while we're all shouting at each other. Always smiling. You can go if you want. Yeah, my relationship is like a business relationship if i could constantly take a loss financially

well just so it's all clear i didn't get anywhere with andy's wife you didn't try very hard and but you did cook some fantastic meals and took care of me, and that was great. Will you fuck my wife, too, if this works out? Oh, that just hit me, that whole Henny Youngman thing. Andrew's fixing up his own future home. Just one Andy for another. What do I want?

Bisbee Gigolo. But it's the husband's paying him. He probably would. Yeah, the one Andy that's going to get something done around the house. She doesn't even have to learn a new name. This is his easy swap. Yeah.

I get a little money. What the hell? The rest of my time is my own yeah I spent a lot of time taking off in the afternoon on my bike and go read a book on the platform at the Amtrak station or something just to kind of get away from that like I said you got cut up with a knife

always the tension? yeah I haven't lived like that You got cut up with a knife. Always. The tension? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not at all. I haven't lived like that, you know. You're clear of that. Yeah, there was never tension when I was there. But, again, this is probably a decade ago.

Well, the Jovies weren't there. Well, the kid was there. Yeah. And he was on the road. And now that he's there and there's no kid as a buffer. Well, I think the Jehovah's Witness thing changed the whole. This is before brain and limp and blind. Oh, my God.

Yeah, well, that was kind of how it went. It was you never knew what every day was going to hold. That's okay. I can always back up and leave. At least here when there's marital friction, there's also 75 people.

Chad's ready for a drink. You can move around. You look like you're looking for a lighter. I thought you were looking for a drink. See how we all look out for each other's addictions or problems or necessities? Stan Hope needs a lighter cigarette. Shank needs a drink. I just kind of wonder what his wife thinks that he is smoking all the time

if she doesn't think he smokes pot. It was weird when Andy was, we were going through bits, and he'd go, yeah, well, I don't know if I should say that. And I've been hearing Chaley doing your podcast on the road where Andy's saying shit on the issues with Andy podcast that are, you shouldn't be saying this in a place where a law enforcement person could hear it. you shouldn't be saying this in a place where a law enforcement person could hear it. And I mean, that was just a joke that I set this guy's house on fire or whatever he says.

But this time he was worried in the special that his wife might find out. He's getting to this story about this fucking, the, the, the mother and daughter combo. And he's told that on the podcast, but now he's like worried. Yeah.

Maybe I shouldn't do that. I could sell him a tent. He might need it. It's weird that he's all, all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah. After all this damage has been done.

And he already hates his relationship with no repercussions either. I mean, he's done all this before. Oh no. Yeah. He's, I couldn't do it. He also said,. I mean, he's done all this before. Oh, no. I couldn't do it. He also said, yeah, well, you know, if it came to a point with divorce and lawyers, then maybe that could become an issue.

Yeah, I heard that bit. And it's all comedy. Andy, it's comedy. I didn't kill my mother right that's that's that's been the fact that everything we say on here is hyperbole has been in the back of my head since the beginning of doing the podcast otherwise i just sit here with my fucking mouth shut saying all this dumb shit if it's real yeah wouldn. Wouldn't it be funny if we are the crew that takes comedy off the freedom of speech table? No, it's satire.

Remember, it was a Hustler magazine, Larry Flint. No, it's satire. And it was like a Supreme Court case. Comedy has always been sacrosanct in the I'm just kidding default. So, Andrew, I don't want you to fuck my wife if Andy's wife works out. Depending on the Yelp reviews. Stay tuned, you'll get a postcard.

Priced accordingly. It's market value. How much would you charge, Andrew? Less than Shawnee, backdoor Mike. And I gave him the widows and orphans rate. I think she meant for sex. I said I gave him the widows and orphans rate. Sorry, everyone had a punchline,

but Andrew is the most important because he's not a comic. I know. No, I just happened to... I thought I would like to work for comics only, and I still think that's an interesting idea, but after stepping into the Andrews household, it's like, oh, we better rethink this. Well, you pretty much know the comics we know,

and it's a different breed than the... Yeah. Yeah. If I do such a thing, I will come to you first and get a heads up on stuff. I got thoroughly inoculated into that dysfunction up there, and I'm willing to do it again to help them out next year. And to get the

fuck out of here during the summer. Yeah, and get away from the bugs and stuff. And you're on tour anyway, so it doesn't fucking matter. Yeah. I'm going to take a piss. We're going to take a break. Hey, thanks for having me on. Yeah, I can't believe we haven't had you on.

Well, I've always avoided it, to on well i've always avoided it talk about trains sometime yeah neighbor dave and i went out and looked at a steam train this last week that's a whole different thing we just stayed at the uh chattanooga hotel their train station in chattanooga has become a hotel like the yeah it's really i'll tell you we already talked about it on a podcast but i'll tell you about it fucking fantastic you used to work on the trains and uh it's like the shady dell of a train uh so are you buying cars then to put down here by the haunt the fucked up thing is the chattanooga choo choo hotel that they made that out of.

You can get, they have a hotel part. That's a nice little hotel motel part, but then you could get shady Dell like train cars. And Hennigan thought we wouldn't like that. Really? Yeah. I thought,

I thought that they didn't rent those and that's why we weren't staying in them. No, they have them on the fucking site. He goes, I didn't think you'd like that on the road. Come on, you motherfucker. Brian out of touch Hennigan? Yeah. The shady Dell had like

vintage trailers and also a Motel 6. I know you like vintage trailers, but on the road, I thought you'd like the Motel 6. I know you like vintage trailers, but on the road, I thought you'd like the Motel 6 part. Can I break in? Yeah. Andy's Hennigan impersonation is hilarious.

Is it what? Yeah. Especially when he's wound up and he's angry and he starts spewing Hennigan stuff. I told him he should get a little ventriloquist dummy and do his own Hennigan portion. Otto and George? Not say it's Hennigan,

but the accent and everything that goes with it because it'd be a great act. Him arguing with Hennigan, it's like, oh, that's funny. Yeah, that is really funny. It's imaginary Hennigan. Yeah. He's got a handful of characters he argues with.

I tune into that. Issues with Andy every Friday. All right, I'm going to go piss. Cocktails and please hold. I got to go fix the road. Perfect. I also learned I can stand there and flex my muscles for an hour, but if I don't pull my dick out, I'm not getting $100 and a ride to the airport.

So that's exactly the experience I've had in comedy a lot of times. Hey, everybody. It's me, Brett Erickson from the Issues with Andy podcast. We love you, Killer Termites, and we hope you'll tune in and check us every Friday. Issues with Andy on YouTube. Yeah, it's not a podcast, right? love you killer termites and we hope you'll tune in and check us every friday issues with andy on youtube yeah okay it's it's a it's not a podcast right isn't it a bod podcast you're right for once andy you're right it's a vodka which means it's a podcast fueled by vodka oh oh shit i was drinking cola i fucked up and the v could also stand for video because it's a video podcast that's it

as always i'm right and chad shank is writer or more right to be correctly incorrect something if you love the shit you're getting here on the doug stanhope podcast get more shit with us on issues with Andy on YouTube every Friday. And yeah, well, you keep listening and watching or however you do it and we'll keep shitting. We'll keep shitting.

I mean, shitting content and not shit. We'll polish it up and call it a turd. You can shit on it if you hate it and love it. Yeah. Thanks for watching and shit all right thanks guys the microphone and the microphone which date do you think i should fly i love andrew he's fucking great but now that he's gone to work on his projects no i want to get back to

fucking all the shit i missed in austin texas oh two weeks ago yeah the jt haber sat oh fuck well now i'm still saving that all right go ahead it was a good time it was the only other uh comedy festival i've been to was when we went to in alaska and of course uh coots is a entirely different venue and i i didn't know what to expect but it was all just took place in like this one little uh like cafe but it was uh was really well organized and everybody there was really funny it was a a good time. I had a good time there. Oh, sorry. In Austin. Sorry.

I was hearing Coots described as a small cafe. No, no. I was saying, yeah, that's the only thing that I was used to, which was every show was in a different room every night. I guess I kind of handed that one up. Sorry. No, I was paying attention to a drink being made for me. Yeah, every show was in a different room in alaska and it was always you know there were a couple different venues as well that that had some comedy like kyle canane was at the snow goose

theater i mean oh he showed up because i heard like half the fucking headliners canceled wait which one are we talking we're talking about alaska oh sorry see i'm fucking the point being is that festivals are run differently some of them have one like a skank fest is one venue and they have the whole weekend blocked out which is what jt did at that one yeah coots it was different they were one of many venues around town okay yes that was that was the point i was trying to make. Yeah, it was different. So it was really good. I had a good time there, man.

How do you feel like you did? Because I remember we were talking about it and you were saying you were a little nervous to host, but how did that go? You told me, well, if you got to remember one thing, remember that it's not about you. And that was probably the coolest thing that anybody could have said to me

because that kids say the darndest things out of the mouths of babes. I respect funny fucking people. And if I'm going to tell you I'm nervous and you tell me something, I'm going to listen. And that was it. And then I, I, I told Eric's in the same thing.

And, uh, uh, I wrote one joke and one joke. And that was it. Awesome. That's great. Oh God.. Awesome. That's great. Oh, God, that advice worked.

I forgot I said that. I had more fun doing that. Hosting the show was a lot of fun. You hosted Brett and Andy's show one night. Brett, Andy, and Christine and a few other people. They were on the same bill one night? Yeah, Andy, and Christine, and a few other people. They were on the same bill one night? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Ray Porter. I don't know if you guys ever heard of that guy. What? Fucking funny guy. Ray Porter? I don't know who knows who. He's like a... Did you say Ray Porter?

Yeah, he's got some disease, like cerebral palsy or something that makes him not like everybody else. It makes him hoard rapes. I asked him, I go, do you have a Twitter, or is that too hard for you? Do you just get frustrated if you just tweet a bunch of symbols? So his arms are all jacked up? Yeah, his whole self is all jacked up.

Yeah, he's a funny guy. up yeah you're making it like his whole self is all jacked yeah yeah he's a funny guy uh but yeah i guess for some reason i keep thinking shaley was there even though shaley was not there because we keep hanging out every time we do issues with andy so my memory's not good i go with no contact at all for long periods of time and then all of a sudden i'm with these people there's so many times on the road we did six weeks so there's that many issues with andy podcasts where we're uh in a hotel where chaley goes into the bathroom which echoes with chaley just cackling, blasting through the fucking doors of a fucking Super 8. I do laugh more than talk on that show. All of us do, except Andy.

I don't look at my watch during our podcasts, but that podcast where I'm just sitting there trying to watch a fucking 1999 fucking hotel movie fucking. Yeah, I'm going to I'll rent a movie and just sit here. There was a before we did the live podcast at Altercation Fest, there was another live podcast ahead of us. And it was like a really militant lesbian gal with another transgender. It was a guy that used to be a guy. I don't know how to say it right. It was a guy, but it was a woman.

When I was first introduced to her, my very first thought was, God damn, she is hot. And then she started to talk, and I go, oh, who the fuck am I? That's fucking, i'm changing never thought i'd think that was hot but all right i still i still don't care that's the weird part i made i made that joke with the crew where i go uh yeah i find serena very attractive i don't know what that says about me. But they did a live podcast before, and they were real kind of militant. People use the wrong pronoun.

It was funny, but then it was real serious, and it would be funny. But we went up on stage, and they were in the crowd. Oh, you mean when the crowd showed up for you? Well, the crowd oh you mean when the crowd showed up for you well the crowd stayed the same i started off that podcast by berating the crowd because i was so angry watching the first plug i'm like who the fuck sits in here watching people fucking podcast so i started the podcast by berating the crowd for being losers for fucking for this podcast. For showing up. Probably not the best. Say it. Say it.

Say it. You learned it from me, Dad. Eric, yeah. I think that's why we became friends. We were already our mutual hatred for everything, even if it benefits us. More so if it benefits us. But Erickson pointed out that, yeah,

you know, that's kind of what we're selling, Chad, with the video. I'm like, oh, yeah, sorry uh the other podcast was in the audience i noticed right away and i go oh fuck they're going to hate us just because we're the ignorant fucks that you probably bitch about on your podcast all the time but it turned out that uh she came up to me afterwards they were uh uh they really liked it and and invited andy to go on their podcast because of his uh stories and uh but the thing the point of the story was was that after watching one podcast she came up to me and talked to me about it and she said yeah i really enjoyed that she says it was like watching uh you andy was telling the stories and all of you guys

were the bumpers that go up when you're bowling for children kids bowl and you guys are just the bumpers that knock him back out of the gutter and i was like you fucking came up with that after watching us one time and that is the most accurate description i've ever could have imagined that's so cool that's cool that they loved you too because i could see being nervous about that after seeing like were they just like like i don't know it was pc the right word or like uh yes yeah okay but i think that's why a lot of our camp that's what i was thinking about sorry that's why i think a lot of our camp. Okay, that's what I was thinking about. Sorry. That's why I think a lot of our camp doesn't, well, other than being completely off the fucking radar of public consciousness,

there is an honesty about all of us that it's not going for the joke. The fucking honesty is first, and the jokes are secondary. My first thought after that was ignorant but well-intentioned we don't have you know we're self-aware to a certain degree you can also we're all actually fucked where those people don't really a lot of them are speaking on someone else's behalf and have no fucking problems they're not just trying to stay alive on a daily

basis or keep other people alive or mop up someone who didn't quite make alive they don't have those fucking stories i really i've noticed though that you stay out of the defensive or not that they're like pc debate so much like a lot for being considered like as offensive as you can be. I think that the, in terms of when people are comparing comedians to other comedians in the PC non PC camps, you don't really come up in it.

Well, I have done that since Andy and I with his pedophile thing. And then it became a thing with Dan Tosh. So like now I, I have a couple of me too. He things in my act now, but it's like, so done.

All right. Burrs talked about it and fucking all Chappelle. Now it's kind of fucking almost hackneyed and i'm still working on bits because i think i can get to a different level but yeah it's it's they're trying to bifurcate the i'm i'm no i'm gonna go into bits shut up okay i'll i'll cut in then and cut you off and i'll tell olivia i've thought the same thing and here's my ignorant fucking conclusion those people that are getting called out

Stanhope has a bit on the special that you have on Amazon Prime right now No Place Like Home has a bit about fingering fucking all of the Duggar daughters like there's no more sort of like could you call out somebody that's like all of the Duggar daughters. Like there's no more sort of like, could you call out somebody?

That's like one of the worst. But people are very selectively called out in that, in my opinion. And it's always people that either will not argue back or will apologize. Or you know you can't win the argument. Like I would never try to start an argument with Stan Hope on that because he's going to win. You know what I mean? And there's other people, like South Park gets away with a bunch of stuff

that they don't call out. Rauer Stern gets away with stuff. They look for the weak that they can take down. Yes, yes. That's been my opinion. Yeah. Well, I think that it's really obvious that, like, you and South Park are sort of coming from this place of, like,

this is really what we believe, you know, and what we're. Let me preface that. As opposed to being edgy for the attention. Let me preface that by weak, meaning someone who depends on a company, on a sponsor, on a. Who has weaknesses. Yes. And that they're not going to fight for. Sure. Shane Gillis. Sure. yes they're not gonna fight for sure shane gillis

sure no one's gonna fight for him and you gotta look out for yourself at some point you can't right but i'm saying like if they're coming down on some no name yeah yeah they can win but someone with that doesn't have a lot of power not it's like you're it's not weakness isn't like a personal weakness but you mean power in their own. The bit that's a non-bit about, yeah, you can't get the Redskins name, which in this current climate, the Redskins is still a team. That's because you can't beat a guy with a fucking billion dollars, so you'll take down some fucking unknown comic

and then celebrate yourself in some fucking coffee collage like like if stanhope wasn't here i'll talk about stanhope like if it wasn't here okay instead of but in that class that's like the ultra elite that just get away with all the usual shit like like stanhope has been called like the comic comic by other comedians like love stanhope and stuff but he's paved his own fucking way to where you can't all right if you take if you make everybody not if you decide to shut down the show i'm at tonight i'll just rebook it uh right down the street in a different place and all those same people will show up and you've done nothing to me so there's no power there whatsoever

yeah and like you know like backing who's gonna fire you is what you're saying like yeah yeah and this is another problem i've talked about on the road is where that there's no real people involved this is all manipulated but the skanks fest that whole this what's the podcast the bonfire and legion of skanks yeah they're all alt right now because they they have a power structure they're alt right comics if you're i remember this in my fucking george bush days where i was a little bit political not really but oh you're a fucking like if you said one thing one way you're a george bush guy otherwise you're a liberal like they're trying to make camps out of comedy now like no we have no camps if you say shit that

whatever they call them snowflakes sure sure sure they're against no you're i'm fucking actually i'm way more liberal yeah i didn't know about the alt-right thing with those because i like they're calling a fucking alt-right comic well i don't i mean i don't know who's calling them that i did the only thing i do is i go on twitter it's basically my whole exposure to all of this that's what i this whole world but me, it's been interesting to see because, as you said before a long time ago, and I thought it was both hilarious and incredibly true for a lot of reasons, comics are just better people. We are. We're way better people.

We're our own wing. But I've watched that disintegrate on social media where I like, this person is funny in the same way that this person is funny. And then I just watch both of them have completely different opinions on the same thing. And I'm like, whoa, how are you guys splitting so full? How are you not looking at the bigger picture and making fun of this and not taking a side? No, this is important. This is exactly the same.

If I had a fucking notebook, I'd be writing this down. There was only one way to record it. I'm not going to listen to my podcast. I'm a professional, but I'm not going to go that far. I'm going to listen to my podcast. My own voice.

They did that with louis ck when it it bled out someone uh uh bootlegged his set and he's uh coming out against parkland survivors so he's trying to appeal to the alt-right was all the fucking i'm not even going to mention their names all the shit stir websites that people go to uh that was one of the first times like louis ck is fucking trying to appeal to the alt-right is so crazy but it's this fuck now i lost my goddamn point uh well you're talking about people being comics being divided into camps where it's totally irrelevant. That's my point is go back to Carlos Mencia versus Joe Rogan. Sure.

And when when you bifurcate the audience and put them into. Oh, no, I'm on that camp. I'm on that camp. It increases your audience. Sure. So, yeah, that's why i stopped i like pro trump people when i tweet i stopped blocking them because yeah if you come to my show i want to change your mind yeah if you're gonna make because we're fighting for the minds of idiots so if you're gonna break you've done a way better job of denouncing nazis than trump ever did too but yeah like yeah fuck you don't come yeah come to my show and then i'm

gonna try to change your mind and i'm gonna address you and say hey because that's all you need a little bit of ego and I'll change your fucking mind. I don't know how to say his name right because I've only seen him on Twitter and I haven't listened to anything that anybody does because I'm lazy and fucking apathetic. But Luis J. Gomez. Yeah. I fucking think that guy is incredibly funny.

And he sucks a good dick. He sucks a fake dick, but that's a fucking good fucking sucking. I'll tell you that. I've never had one better. But I'd make friends with him just for that. But he's one of those guys. That made me go, I'm going to Skanks Fest next year. When I found out that was fake and I thought it was real,

I'll fucking suck a real dick. But he's constantly battling people, like you said, just to increase audience. And it's just not, it was real. I'll fucking suck a real dick. But he's constantly battling people, like you said, just to increase audience. And it's just not, it's shameless. It's not even fucking, I mean, he doesn't care. That's what I like about it is my point. He's funny. Point is, they have a monopoly,

and I don't know the details of it, where they're trying to get them shut down or what. See, I think, though, I don't know. I don't know. I've never listened to any of it. I guess I don't fucking know the whole fucking thing. I just didn't. It seems weird to call them alt-right.

Yeah, they have whatever their podcasts, you know their shit. Like the station, the, I don't know how these things work. I know the whole thing. Well, that's on XM. And the comedy sponsors. It's Comedy Central. Again, I'm like Chad. I only know shit from occasionally reading

Twitter. I make up my own context like I do when I talk to Andy. We're at no threat of any of this. If we start losing Patreon people. Hey, Patreon, get on fucking board because we have some ideas.

You might be here at the fun house if you're on patreon we're we're we're brainstorming some yeah not just one extra podcast a month we're gonna do some shit i'm i guess i missed the production meeting you're the one who brought it up oh so yeah we were drinking yeah but i remember oh god that i'm I like this. Stanhope remembers Patreon conversations. No, he's motivated to do things like before, you know, the commercials and stuff that kind of kind of boxed us in a little bit because we'd have to say no to things. But then we wouldn't have any ads. It kind of sucks. But now it's we already know that those those people are listening and he wants to make sure there's value to it. So because Shaylee can put this in wherever. we already know that those people are listening and he wants to make sure there's value to it.

Because Shaylee can put this in wherever, but if everybody has Amazon Prime subscription, already has a Twitch Prime subscription, could please give me their free Twitch Prime subscription. What's your Twitch? How do you get to it? It uh twitch.tv slash hd underscore fatty but forget that because that's fucking annoying easier just go to my twitter at hd fatty and my pinned tweet gives step-by-step instructions on how to subscribe right now i have about 160

subscribers well we on the road we have uh well i guess yeah no i should say it yeah a lot of times we're talking shit in the comment feed and i don't say it's me because i don't want to fucking distract from your stuff i talk to everybody in the comments though yeah i know but sometimes it's you don't know it's me yeah this secret stanhope he has changed his name more than once i did notice that so now i don't know who the fuck you are. All right, we're going to talk about that after. But I was going to tell you guys, I have like 160 subscribers right now, which is fantastic.

It's like 300 bucks a month for playing video games. But it's barely covering my fucking high-speed internet nut. So I have like 1,900 followers. Oh, wow. And I have a feeling that a lot of the people that have followed think they've subscribed. So if you followed and you think you've subscribed, go to at HDFatty on Twitter,

and my pinned tweet will tell you exactly how to subscribe. And if I had 1, 1900 subscribers uh 160 is cool 1900 would change my whole fucking life so uh throw me a free subscription if you have i mean it bears mentioning twice that if you have amazon prime you already have credit for one subscription per month you just have to every month subscribe. It doesn't cost you anything. It's rolled into that subscription fee. So if you appreciate any of my fucking debasing myself here on the podcast

and ruining any chance of me becoming an elected official, please subscribe. Thank you. Glad to be home. Olivia Grace at Olivia Does Bits glad to be home olivia grace at olivia does bits at hd fatty for chad shank at greg chaley c-h-a-i-l-l-e at egg lester the way it sounds that's's Tracy. Made the drinks. I am so happy to be home.

I'm so happy to have Chad Shank back with us. Olivia Grace is now not just a Patreon subscriber, but a tenant. Until we ship her off to some other commune. Thank you. I'm happy to be home. And I'll see you in Florida, Honolulu, and Vegas, as well as some upcoming dates in Boston. 2020 dates are already going up on.

I just got a text from Henning. Be on the mailing list. Yep. Because the ones that sell out, sell out first to mailing list people. And then you go, is there any way no how come i didn't find out well you weren't on the mailing list if you're on the mail we should uh chicken or egg thing well i listen to the podcast all the time but i wasn't on the mailing list hey i'm on the mailing list i didn't know you had podcast. Are we mailing out that we have a podcast? I don't know. All right. Thanks for listening. Cheers, cocktails, and however I used to. Oh, wait. Bingo. Bingo's here. Take us out, Bingo. Okay. Bye-bye now. Thank you.