The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#353: Drunk Answers to Drunk Questions

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

Doug, Chad, Olivia and Chaille answer questions submitted by Patreon subscribers.On Feb. 15, 2020 there will be a live streaming event sponsored by Jobi and Doug Stanhope's Celebrity Death Pool. Go to Chad's twitter page (@hdfatty) and folllow the instructions to view the stream through his TWITCH channel – Or go to www.Twitch.tv/hd_fatty.Help out the podcast by participating in a quick survey at www.Wondery.com/SurveyListen to the rest of this podcast and get another BONUS one each month by subscribing through our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast. ALL levels of support will get direct message access to the podcast and instant access to a Bonus episode every month plus all past BONUS episodes. Any level of support is appreciated. Thanks in again as your subscription helps keep this podcast going. Patreon page - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast).Recorded Feb. 07, 2020 at the FunHouse in Tucson, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Olivia Grace (@OliviaDoesBits), Chad Shank (@HD_Fatty), Tracey Wernet (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.2020 tour dates are already up on the website. Don't find out too late about an upcoming performance in your area. Get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/This episode is sponsored by YOU. And, we Thank You for supporting Doug and this podcast by subscribing.LINKS -Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast oh we're going all right hold on ready we're going oh we're going. Here we go. We're doing Patreon questions from the Patreon people. Drunk answers for drunk questions. If I saw you in the street and you went, hey, are you Doug Stanhope? And I said, yeah, listen, I need $5. You would give it to me without question, and you would say, I just fucking gave Stanhope $5. But when we say, hey, get on Patreon for $5.

$1? Not even, it's $1. No, I'd ask for $5. I wouldn't ask for $1. I'd look like I was down on my luck. Five seems like I'm out of gas and I need to get to Monterey. You're playing

You don't want to put anybody out. But he is playing Home Depot Buckets. No? 25 bucks seems like I'm selling you a cheap ticket to my show. Either way. Hey, Doug. Pete Johnson has two questions.

Which one do you want? Number one or number two? Go ahead. We're just going to answer questions and riff on them. Peter Johnson has two questions. Which one do you want? Do you want number one or number two? No, I'll just shit can them in order.

Alright. Doug, I've never... Chad just took a hit of weed that he was not ready for. It caused me to do a sneezing fit, which usually caused me to do a coughing fit. And then a sharting fit.

I know. No. Oh, yeah. You're the young guy. I was watching on Issues with Andy where Chad Shank was the only guy that didn't need reading glasses. And you're not reading. You're talking. I do.

I'm just stubborn. Yeah, I'm not reading. No, but everyone else is wearing reading glasses And I don't know why Because they're not reading they're talking into a camera Because we're like looking things up We're fact checking like real time Not me I just talk out my ass What are

I talk right Oh and Andy's reading something Andy wears them for fashion purposes Yeah they're probably If they're in the costume If the costumer has it in the budget, they'll put reading glasses on Andy. What did Peter Johnson want to know?

Peter Johnson wants to know, hey, Doug. Wait, I did that wrong. I've never heard Doug mention or talk about the late Robert Schimmel, who was a fellow Arizonian. I thought he was absolutely brilliant. Your thoughts? who is a fellow arizonian i thought he was absolutely brilliant your thoughts uh shimmel yeah when i was starting out was great uh the comedy kind of all right i i get where you're going with this

when i first moved to phoenix from uh i was an open mic or in vegas when i started six months later i moved to phoenix chasing a girl and i was at some grocery store in uh scottsdale and robert schimmel was in front of me in line and I went, are you Robert Schimmel? He goes, yeah. I'm just starting out as a comedian and I'm a big fan of yours. He's like, thanks. So yeah, that's my Robert Schimmel story.

We saw it. We were walking through LAX and he came up to you and said oh hey doug wow what's up man good memory oh whoa no because i was a huge fan of when uh uh stern was like made him be like the number one comic or something on something like he got stern got his fans to do a killer termites thing where robert schimmel was clearly gonna win and then the fix was in that he still didn't win because it's fixed they want their whatever contests they were in they want him to win and then after that he walked up to you in lax we we were standing there and he

was like talking to you going like, hey, man, hey, where are you going? What's what you do in an airport? When I was researching the book about 2016, I ran into the drummer for Kid Rock at a Sky Club chick. Yeah. It's on a podcast. And i don't remember the podcast much less the incident where we hung out and fucking partied and got shit faced and talked about kid rock or whatever

and our old story about fucking emerald theater emerald yeah, back in the day. Anyway, what's his second question? Yeah, Schimmel is great. Schimmel is awesome. And buy this CD so I can afford this car or something. Fucking phenomenal. God damn it. That guy got so many bad beats. He was like a famous Henry Phillips where, oh, now I had a heart attack,

and now I have cancer, and now, and then he died. He beat cancer and died I think his daughter was car accident or his daughter was driving yeah. Oh my god. But you know what that comedy CD is so good and it's I want to say it's underrated or I don't know

what anyone thinks about it. I remember I bought the cassette. That's how fucking I fucking love i remember his bit about uh coming on his wife's tits like just let me do it why why do you want to do it i just want to do it and then as soon as you come rogan had a similar bit post come fucking uh depression where yeah you wanted to do all this shit uh and then as soon as you come you're like uh i gotta get out of here i'm a disgusting person oh wait i live here so yeah i think of robert schimmel a lot he's he's a great comic hey uh peter johnson also asked

we also we asked one question you got two I was fortunate to see my first Doug Stanhope show last year in Baltimore and I cannot wait for March 2020 I wasn't there a year ago you're like three years off but go ahead you screwed us on the merch last year yeah I'm not bringing merch yeah I'm not bringing merch to Magoobies

you know why because Chaley's not gonna be there and I can't do that myself that's why you're here in this podcast now but but peter johnson all of you on these uh upcoming dates seattle denver actually seattle chaley will be there maybe we'll have more i don't know buy your merch now because i will go out and sign your fucking shit i'm just not going to be selling stuff by myself shucking and jiving behind a fucking table after i've fucking spilled my guts to you on stage can't do it i can do it beside chaley when he guides me but if you buy shit

from dougstandup.com slash fucking store. Not fucking store. Store. Yeah, just have your shit and I'll sign it and I'll fucking. Have your fuck filter on when you're listening. Yeah, and if you really need a picture, have your fucking camera ready and know how to use it. Next question. Right there.

Go ahead. Chad Shank. Christopher Leslie. I know the new book is being released straight to Audible. Audible. Audible? Audible. Is that a P or a B?

No, it depends on if they're paying for my read. Whether you have one hand over your eye or not? It depends on whether they're paying for my read. I know the new book is being released straight to Audible, but will a physical copy be released as well? That depends on how many people buy the audible version and if they go hey there's a market for a written version well they're gonna just have someone fucking transcribe the audible one because i ain't the best part about the audible thing is i don't

have to worry about grammar that you're gonna give me shit about later I have to write it the way I'm going to say it and so yeah if there's a written version someone else is going to transcribe it hey Olivia has a question yeah uh uh David J Powers asks any plans for end of the World Podcast Part 2, this time with 100% less bingo brain trauma? Oh, I did have the drunken courage to call fucking Rogan, text Rogan. Oh, I think it was when we were in Key West. Hey, we're doing fucking End of the World. It's actually Part 3, because what you don't remember, part one was the

end of the Mayan calendar, End of the World, where Rogan and I did a theater in LA with Joey Diaz and Bill Burrow was hanging out. And so part two was the last Trump election.

And I go, we got to do. 2016, November 6th? Yeah, 2020. Yes. Rog I go, we got to do 2016, November 6th. Yeah. 2020. Yes. Rogan said, he goes, yeah, we should put that together.

I go, there's no way you have to do this. I'm bad at this. So, uh, it's, it's, it's,

it's been mentioned. Uh, Rogan says yes. Uh, and yeah, yeah. That's, uh,

the end of the world. Comedy store. I mean, comedy store. That would be epic to do that it's not fucking uh cemented or solidified but yeah fuck yeah how can you not hey doug what's this it's you have x's by some of them and then which is the ones are just read it and it says c or something. Chaley. C is a Chaley question. It's a question for you. You want me to read it to you? Yeah, you want to? Yeah, I will.

I would love to. It's Pete. Not Pete Johnson again. Not Pete Johnson. I wonder if Pete just makes up fucking... He's one guy that asks all these questions. Really? Peter Johnson? Pete says... Pete says I Pete says,

I'm going in for a full colonoscopy on the 4th of February. Today! Well, this is too late. Don't do it! To make sure my arsehole isn't about

to unfurl like a windsock. If I could get a video recording of the procedure, shall I send it to you for something to make Chaley puke? No. What are you going to look at? That's a yes from the rest of the fucking Mount Rushmore. But honestly, I was so worried about the... In the room, who's had the coloscomy or whatever?

That's why he's asking you because you're the only one. None of you have? I've had one. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait for the next one. They said 10 years. I'm like, we can't do it in five?

Because the Twilight drug they give you is better than anything I've ever experienced in the fun house and any time I've ever experienced in the fun house and any time I've ever done a drug. What was it? Probofol? Yeah. Yes. Wow.

Michael Jackson drug. And the guy here in Bisbee left and learned how to do things and is retired in Bisbee. So he's like way overqualified for even to be here. So he's like, you've got, you're in good hands here in Bisbee. So he's like way overqualified for even to be here. So he's like, you've got, you're in good hands here in Bisbee. It was so awesome. I was

so worried because Uncle Bill went into it before and he goes, I got a clean bill of health. I'll be healthy. He goes, I'll see you in 10 years. He died like six months later. It was nothing. But a

colonoscopy is not that. I mean, it's gross. What's it called, Tracy? Colonoscopy. I've been drinking, whatever it is. Yeah, I've seen them and it doesn't look any different than the esophageal one. It's just...

No, Katie Couric on the Today Show did it. You don't show... Fucking Waldo doesn't show up or a fucking giant poop or a fucking old nickel my biggest fear was uh because you you'll talk shit that you don't you're not aware of while you're uh under this drug body's buried so if you don't have uh crimes that don't have uh dates. What do they call it? Statute of limitations. Be afraid of a colonoscopy. Have a trustworthy driver.

I gotta tell you, the one out here, I freaked out. Tracy, you know. They give you the fucking couple gallons of stuff that deplete all of your... Barium enema.

Oh my God. No, it wasn't barium, but it was like, it just. And it's like, I was never, my lowest weight in the last 15 years was on that. And I don't know if it was stress or the thing I drank, but at the same time I was freaked the fuck out. And after I did it, I was like, no, I'll be a yang ganger now. I can do anything. I feel like, I feel I'll be a Yang Ganger now. I can do anything.

I feel like the world is my oyster. It was so like, if you go to a don't go to a garage, don't go to a backyard colonoscopy because if you go to, they're going to fucking

do it right. I don't think they are. Like a back alley abortion? Is that a thing? if you go to they're gonna fucking do it right colonoscopy colonoscopy is that a thing we're gonna read those though Doug hates chewing sounds but in his recent appearance on the series Sick of It

Sick of It 2 second year second series second season how did he manage to make those facial expressions of second series second series I mean second season season how did he manage to make those facial expressions

of loud chewing I was eating fucking shrimp with their heads and crunch and I had to do that take

like 11 times and you don't want to do anything once that's so weird also can you share his experience with carl pilkington who is a fucking kindred spirit every time like he was the james inman of ricky gervais where they just go fuck with him and send him out to do things he didn't want to do intern and i'm like that. On vacation, I don't want to fucking climb Machu Picchu. I don't want to see a thing.

I want to find a bar and just fucking read a book. So yeah, I fucking love Carl Pilkington. And it was great. And yeah, I actually had to stop that scene in the restaurant to go fucking grab some vodkas

because I was getting a boo shake. I love that you flew to Europe. You flew to the UK to film the scene that when I watched it recently is them in New York. They were in New York in the scene, but Doug had to fly to UK first class to go film the fucking scene that they had to make everything look like New York while he was in the UK because Carl Pilkington and the galley wants to fuck.

Spoiler alert. I should have said that first. If somebody knows how to watch this in the US, send it to me. I got it for you. It is quintessential Stanhope. We were like, oh, wait, he's football Sundays bitching about someone like tracking mud in here. That is basically.

It's not good acting. I just watched my part and I went, oh, yeah. It's not good acting. I just watched my part and I went, oh, yeah. Don't misinterpret what I just said as you not acting. You had to do that in front of a fucking shit ton of people where we have to clear the room for you to do a podcast in front of nobody. Okay, I'll tell you the difference between filming in New York with a U.S. crew and filming there.

They didn't care that I went, hey, hang on, I gotta go get some of my fucking sneaky bottles of vodka because I'm getting a little shaky. I need a... Alright. They're fucking boozers over there. Like New York would be like, hey, he's... There'd be like a secret service

talking to your wrist. He's leaving set again. We're on a break. He says it's a personal thing. Really? Unbelievable. What's the next question? Can I read some? Oh, Tracy wants to read some. I don't know. Do you have a microphone?

Yes, she does. Tracy, come over here. These are fucking out of order. You put them on fucking two, like back printed, rather than just put them on. Yeah.

See? That's how many questions we got from people. That's when we get letters, fan letters from prison, they write on both sides of the page because paper is a fucking commodity. You have to use every sides of the page because paper is a fucking a commodity you have to use every inch of the paper Chaley evidently

is working on a prison budget I am we had a long conversation about I don't know if I ever pay you enough because I don't know what you do and then why would you pay me more if you don't know what I do? Sometimes I just cut you a big check

because I think you... Thank you. That helped for 2019. Tracy, read this one. This one's from Drew Lewis. Do you think there will ever be an Unbookables 2? And if you had to assemble an Unbookables team

right now, including the driver, who's getting the call to arms? We actually talked about this, Chaley and I. First of all, it's Unbookables 3, like End of the World 3. Unbookables, we've already talked about. If we do an Unbookables 2, we're call it unbookables three like unbookables two is some weird one you can't find that everyone will wait what happened what happened where's the remember we were on the tour one time with erickson and we were talking about tracy's still trimming his fucking don't talk about it and we like from from the last night's gig in the morning

to the next gig it was a couple hours drive And all we did was come up with fucking scenarios. How to fuck over James Inman. Yeah, yeah. All the fucking funny shit we could do. But the question is, what new comics? Because I don't meet new comics other than Olivia Grace, who's completely bookable. Even the unbookables are completely bookable. It's a different day and age yeah except for inman

uh so yeah junior stopka is the only guy i would come up with and he's only unbookable because he doesn't really want to work in there too dustin yeah dustin who doesn't have a fucking twitter account he doesn't want to be booked that's the un the unbookables three would not be people that are unbookable they're people who don't want to fucking put any effort into working which was the unbookables to begin with uh so okay did you just include me oh fucking chad shank chad shank yes based on that criteria alone i I'm going to have to be considered. Next question. All right. Alex Hudson.

Fuck Alex Hudson. Well, it's a pod. It's a Patreon. Oh, I love Alex Hudson. Shaylee recently mentioned that he saw the whole podcasting thing running 50 or so episodes when you guys first started out, which we've been talking about that.

Wondering if you or Doug have a terminus in mind, or if the plan is to keep going until you don't want to anymore. I have an answer. Well, that's why I asked you, and Alex did too. I always

thought that we should do like a a redo because people say hey i'm trying to catch up i don't know there's some fucking 400 episodes or something i'm trying to catch up from the beginning and i i'd like to like i would i've thought about doing a redo of okay this is the new start from here so you don't have to and then start with recapping the best of shit you missed like a new version of star trek yeah like d space nine yes we get where it came from because i there's podcasts that i want to listen to but i don't want to fucking start from the beginning to our podcast is very unique in that yeah you don't you need to know the characters that come in and out just do a fucking all right here if you want to start from the beginning but no we'll never

get around to that because this is not a cash cow this is just fun for us at best but it's a Ashcow. This is just fun for us at best. But it's a audio dialogue of what's going on right now. This is your life at that point. Like, you're doing the 2016 book for Audible. You went back to the podcast a lot.

Chad was just talking before we started this about yeah, we're going to get back to just talking we're missing that we're just talking shit as opposed to what story do you have

what are we going to focus on when we're just talking shit it's the best where one story leads to another story I guess is what I was thinking about alright well well sometimes story leads to another story, I guess, is what I was thinking about. Organically. Yes.

All right. Well, sometimes that leads to huge dead air. Luckily, we can edit that out because we're not live or on video. Some of us can edit. Leon asks, why don't you have a UK merch division? Import duty. Should I read this as Leon? Yeah. I mean, no.

They did a really bad, poorly done Why don't you have a UK merch division? Import duties and postage costs cripple our purchase requirements. We badly need abortionist green t-shirts to persuade shitty millennials to stop pumping out sprogs. They're not, by the way. to stop pumping out sprogs. They're not, by the way.

Send me a container full, and I'll sell them on this end, mainly XL and larger. I want to audition for a book in that voice. That was pretty good. Why don't you, Alex, just fucking print the things off and sell them? The only time I ever get upset about being ripped off is when it wasn't like that whoever was selling the Hope t-shirt with me with that

iconic Barack Obama and that's not me. I didn't put that out. If you want to steal my fucking t-shirts and sell them at cost in the UK, sell them. cost in the uk sell them yeah go ahead i don't give a fuck we don't do uk in like merch because we haven't figured it out like the

like canada like canada we figured out because our our guy up there uh what's his name in there which one our guy up there, there's the first two, him and his gal. I'm fucking drunk. Butt surgery. Butt surgery. The guy had two assholes for a while. Frank.

Frank. Frank and his gal. Gocheese. Frankie Gocheese. What? Frankie Gocheese. All right. I guess I should have remembered that.

They're the ones who facilitate us being able to do merch up there because we get merch printed up there, we sell it up there, and then we come home. That's the way to do it. We don't have a way. I don't go on the road unless it's profitable for me to be on the road. I think you do a lot of times where it's not profitable. And a lot of times, I think I forgot to pay you for an entire tour,

and you're too polite to remind me. So it's profitable for one of us. Even more so. I know, yeah. Terrible at this. I know. Me too, though. All right.

Let's take a break, and we'll get back to more of your questions and our beautiful answers the best public toilet i've ever found is the men's room at the american girl doll store you gotta get to chicago i was going to say, that's in Chicago. That's on Michigan Avenue. I've been to that store. Are you sure you want to tell this story? Hey, everybody. It's me, Brett Erickson, from the Issues with Andy podcast.

We love you, Killer Termites, and we hope you'll tune in and check us every Friday. Issues with Andy on YouTube. Yeah, it's not a podcast, isn't it a vod podcast you're right for once andy you're right it's a vodcast which means it's a podcast fueled by vodka if you love the shit you're getting here on the doug stanhope podcast get more shit with us on issues with andy on youtube every friday and yeah well you keep listening and watching or however you do it and we'll keep shitting all right we're back go ahead what's next olivia has a question from Dan Lang. Dan Lang asks, can Doug, Chaley, and Chad give some exposition on how and when they met and how the hell you all became friends? I'm a new listener, so I'd love the backstory and context.

Yeah, I think we're going to skip that because we've gone over it a thousand times. And maybe that's why we have to start the elevator pitch i do have a short a short version just because it relates to stanhope's earlier thing when he talked about uh seeing shimmel the the first time whenever i met stanhope before he knows i met him was i was i was at walmart and uh i we did talk about this before too but uh i was at wal, and we did talk about this before, too. But I was at Walmart, and I was going through the checkout line. And on the other line over, I go, I think that's Doug Stanhope, but he's really little. He looks bigger on TV. I didn't know for sure.

Well, he sounded bigger on XM radio. Yeah, I heard him on XM radio, so he sounded a lot bigger. But I waited outside the front door, and then when Stanhope and Bingo walked past, I yelled, Stanhope! And he turned around, and so then I knew it was him. And then I went over and I just told him thank you because I was a fan of his comedy and I listened to him and stuff.

And then I tried to run away real quick while he and Bingo tried to talk to me. I just ran away because i was all done i just wanted to say this but thank you sorry i felt bad like i was bothering them yeah so i didn't want to but i just wanted to say thanks you know they wanted to be accommodating i didn't think about it i you know i didn't think it that through you know that much through i just knew i had only heard you on xM Radio, and I was a fan. Bingo just walked in.

I wanted to tell you thank you for fucking entertaining me. Bingo just walked in. Do you know that we met Chad before helping out the guy on Facebook move? Yeah, he saw us at fucking Target or something. Walmart and Sierra Vista. And Sierra Vista and waited for us outside and said hey thank you for what you do and then we kept trying to talk to him and he walked away because he felt stupid for that yeah what's next hey uh nanster n asks what is keeping

you from doug what is keeping you from writing the children's book or at least as santa is not real parental read aloud we've talked about this i know that's probably why they're referring to this someone sent me an idea but they missed the mark about and then i thought about burt kreischer doing a children's book about how parents can tell their fucking kids that they lied to their face about Santa Claus. And you know why? Because I'm writing an actual book, and it's taken me almost a fucking year, and it's ruined half of my life.

When you're writing a book about the shittiest year of your life, you do it quick, because otherwise it's two years of the shittiest year of your life. So, yeah, that's a great idea. We have a lot of great ideas, and thank you for reminding me of yet another we will never get

around to. Unless Olivia Grace wants to write it. A children's book? Yeah, for parents telling them, their kids, that they lied about Santa Claus. Okay. All right, who's next? Chad's got one.

Filthy Senpai, which might be Peter Johnson, I think. What was it that made you decide, i want to comedy for a living not to do comedy i want you couldn't extend him a little no i want to help he put his name as filthy senpai if he would put a real name i would have these are the questions that these are the questions that made me stop doing morning radio yeah it's what made you

want to do comedy I don't know what made you like chocolate cake something you liked just fuck off stupid question go ahead

that's yours right there alright Troy Salvatico Troy Salvatico asks, just one question. Does Doug have a bit that he likes doing so much that he wouldn't put it on a special so it doesn't get killed, even if it's a small bit?

Not a fuss if it's on the podcast, but would love to know. No, no. If you have a strong bit, the first thing you want to do is put it on a special to get it out there i'm not i'm not gonna waste this i want to do it for every audience that's seen it over and over again uh there's some things there was one thing chaley where uh when you put out like

clips of sometimes when i'm just riffing local shit like new orleans with the hard rock we've done a couple of those since you've been on tour you're like oh put that up for the patreon and it's something you can burn easily because it's local but as there was one piece in there it's a please don't film me joke oh yeah yeah i'm like yeah i don't i don't care if that's out there because i want you to fucking know to not please not film me. It was the, if a. Yeah, yeah. Don't burn it now.

Actually, that's what you were just telling, and I did it. Sorry. Steve Hales asked, Doug, how many books do you think you have left in you? Is the writing process getting easier, more appealing, or rewarding? Steve Hales asked, Doug, how many books do you think you have left in you? Is the writing process getting easier, more appealing, or rewarding? And then you, because you previewed all these, Aruj Islam said, when do you think you will run out of shit or themes to write about in books? So it's kind of the same thing.

Yeah, no, i'm out of books like the the book that i'm writing i wanted to write because it was just the perfect fucking destructive year and it started and ended perfectly and i didn't have to go back like digging up mother or fucking this is not fame where I don't know what to write about this I knew what to write about when you were writing the second book you said two themes of other books you would like to write and you and Hennigan were both like going on about that oh wait yeah yeah that's that's one me and anagan want it right i know i'm saying that there might be one more in me but it would be a tongue-in-cheek how to do stand-up comedy uh i'm not telling you to fucking say i'm saying i forgot about you had a couple things

and this was one of them to do a book about that year which you're doing right now i didn't want you to spill the other one because there's no reason to. I don't care. It's not like they're going to go, oh, should I get his book or fucking Bo Burnham's? Yeah, I would have a very different take on how to do stand-up comedy. The same way we always talked about doing uh comedy death camp yeah when kyle cease

was gonna do comedy boot camp oh and now still in play by the way well it's it's i'd rather do it as a book because that would be me and hennigan going back and forth with you chiming in about yeah i i would love to do that book because that would be fun so yeah maybe one more that's your answer maybe one more i know that was gonna happen by the way nice yeah this is this is enlightening to me too and i live here chad's got a question that's that's not one that you would have to like, like dig deep. Like this book is fucking hard to write. Cause there's some fucking painful shit in there.

That would be just something that we could sit around. I could write a book on how Doug wrote this book as, as you could too, as Tracy. Actually, uh, someone tweeted that yesterday. I want to hear a book from Greg Chaley

about what it's like to tour manage. I think it was me and Andy Andrus. Which I have nothing to do with. What about Mitch Hedberg? And then someone tweeted back, I would fucking definitely read a Greg Chaley book. I could do a brochure. A lot of pictures.

A flyer. A lot of pictures. Glenn wool said that he goes shaley just start writing down the things you remember and i already do no to me he said that to me no but you write down everything i don't every gig i stopped doing it when you we became boring on tour. Honestly, I agree with you. You said that recently. He was like, yeah,

I remember when I got, I was, I ended up becoming the pay master, the pay master and everything. You became boring from him. Not for us. All everyone on this side of the bar, we've all experienced wonderful things and eccentric things.

But Doug, his impression of all that is, this is when I became boring. This is before, Chad, you became involved. This is way before probably you were born. But these are the things that we think of in our terms. We don't think of it in Doug's terms. When I ran for president after that I became boring. I became the paymaster

to everyone else. I thought that was very interesting in that that's his impression but our impression has either been oh my God I'm included. I'm a part of this.

This keeps going. I hope I get on the next tour. It was when I was writing about Andy and Sean Ross. The part of this. This keeps going. I hope I get on the next tour. It was when I was writing about Andy and Sean Rouse. The opposite of him. It was Andy, Sean Rouse, and Junior when we all went out to see that show in Daytona on my birthday. And they're still, to this day, all fuck-ups, except for Sean Rouse, who's dead.

Well, he fixed that, didn't he? But they're still having fun in their fuck-ups, and they're broke, but they're still having fun where I'm always worried about fucking keeping shit in order. I used to be the fuck-up with them. Doug, you said that. I think of times, like in the years 20 i mean i was in a band before i met you motherfuckers that was i can't remember how fun it was because i was drunk the

whole time right and i'm still doing that i'm still drying out from that fun and at the same time i'm like i wake up i remember that fucking time in Daytona those are some of the like you wake up and you're like I'm not there wait a minute the manager of the hotel is not in the room with us while it seems like it's on fire and he's smoking with Doug

these are the things that they are amazing memories that okay I'll give you a perspective as well like you said when I first got here They are amazing memories. Okay, I'll give you a perspective as well. Like you said, when I first got here, I told you about whenever I first saw them years before I actually got to hang out here. I already was a fan of stand-up comedy. So when I got to hang out here,

I was just grateful to get to hang out here. And then it became the fuck thing. I went on tour with you guys for that thing and then i went we want to do this podcast we're doing and i started doing the podcast so it's evolved for me quite a bit in a weird way uh as well i forget what the point of what i was about to say how it's like it's crazy now in fact everyone thinks we're slowing down yeah we look back on those times it's like like, it's just so crazy. I feel like I got in.

Writing about 2016, the amount of parties, how many we had, how long they lasted, how many drugs we were doing. I don't do drugs anymore. I just don't have the fucking. Dry it up. Jesus Christ, Stan. You guys still fucking do drugs. Oh, I know what I was going to say. Stan Hope City about Paymaster.

what i was gonna say stanhope city about paymaster i felt as what once we started doing the podcast and stuff i felt as well like i felt obligated to try to make something of myself on stanhope's coattails because that was kind he was like well here's fucking you know i've done you know i don't know i don't know he didn't present it to me that way, but it just felt to where I was obligated, probably the same way maybe you feel obligated to help people. At one point early on, Stan Hope said, do you want to be a stand-up comedian or do you want to be a singer? And I go, I don't want to be either one of those things. And he was like, oh, good.

And then I didn't understand that for a long time, but then I realized, like, no, that's what Stan Hope does. Where he's found himself what he does is just try to fucking help boost other people up and i didn't realize that why wouldn't you if you could if like that that's that is really one of those things it's like doug he knows his audience he knows like the people that we have in our corral are our killer termites that's that we're happy with that that's what we we just want all of them to get on the patreon to be a thing to to no it's not a pitch it's like listen it's like if you have followed doug

long enough you've stolen enough material which he says get it but at the same time I had a tweet yesterday and the guy responded check it out on tomorrow night I'm with you Chaley a guy said he responded with nah bro

I don't know what that means N-A-H-B-R-U-H. Nah, bro. Like, he was dismissing my tweet. And I go, I am not courting the nah, bro audience as much as I've tried to shake them through my career. Yeah, we're happy with the fucking people we have. I want to cut people out. yeah we're happy with the fucking people we have i want to cut people out everything like the i've had meetings with people this is the beautiful thing about hold

olivia next go ahead all right i'm gonna say the beautiful thing about doug stanhope is is like there's doug stanhope there's brian hannigan and there's me there's no one else and if you want to get in touch with him you haven't tried hard enough because everything is through his regular email address that's been there for fucking ever it's on his website he talks about it

right it's like how do I find out where Doug Stanoff lives guess what you fucking google it address in google and you get it so I'm not worried about that but it's one of those things where if you want to get in touch with me it's easy it's one of those things

you want to find out what's going on with DougStanup.com it's not a problem Olivia and I were having a conversation last night I remember saying alright this is my last drink and the best part about the last drink is there's two more after i think you hit your quota but no you you were building me up

in a way that i go i'm just gonna take it because i need you you're saying that what other comedian has an arc of but uh we started talking about who was it that oh oh it was about eddie murphy uh jamie fox i read an article about jamie fox talking eddie murphy into doing a comedy comeback and he's like i don't even know what i do and jamie foxx says first of all you gotta fuck up your house you live in this fucking million dollar mansion he jamie foxx said i paraphrase i still have sinks that when you turn them on they spray at you and my kids say can't you afford to fix that he goes yeah but i wouldn't be funny anymore. And I go, I live in that. Yeah. You know, half the houses you own,

someone has hooked them up to where the... Hey, I'll ask all of you. Hot water is on which side? Oh. Right. No. Did you do our plumbing here? All... Everyone here, right no did you do our plumbing here all the everywhere here the hot water's on the right it's wrong hot water's on the left and when you when you get a permit and then they check it

they say it has to i'm listening i'm just not that's why you're so funny because half your houses have hot water on the left and the other half has them on the right. The point is, I was saying to Olivia that, yeah, I live in a house that's fucked up. It's painted pretty, but it's fucked up. But I'm happy with it. And she was saying?

That there's not a lot of comics that i think have what you have which is every comic tells themselves is like or not every comic but a lot of comics are like there's like this weird thing about being like i'm just i just want to be a stand-up comic that's how i want to make my living i don't want to feel obligated like no matter what right you just want to tell jokes yeah pretty much yeah yeah like the the like there's some there's a lot of pride in like oh well i didn't you know i i'm at a point in my life where i can tour and make a living a stand up and like you fucking so have that and it's awesome this is a very 24 year old way of looking at no when you go back to la and you see the desperation and ambition in people that are my

age and they need that fucking million dollar mansion to prove and they'll never get out of that then they'll need a fucking three million dollar mansion and i am happy here so i understood the like fuck this up like yeah my house is fucked up in my head there's a million fucking problems it's the best way to fucking take a a rehab is all right i'm gonna quit drinking and smoking because i'm gonna work on all these fucking projects that need to be done around here talk to me i got a list you've got them mostly done all right uh let's take a quick break take two

hey wait wait wait wait wait wait i get it no no now you have to wait ready oh i forgot you couldn't hear it i forgot you couldn't hear it no no but wait wait wait is supposed to be my opening line and you just and i was saying you're goading me wait wait wait wait wait wait having to read this kills me because this is This is entirely a bit in the special that I have that hasn't come out yet. That will be coming out soon, I promise you. We'd like to learn more about you. You'll have an opportunity to tell us what you like about this show and what you'd love to hear in future episodes please complete our survey at wondery.com slash survey that's wondery w-o-n-d-e-r-y slash survey that's wondery.com slash survey which one

is it wondery or wondery.com wondery.com you left one of them out they fucking know how much do you want me to edit oh my god I get the whole bit about is there anything that you can do purchase participate in where you don't get

some hey please tell us how we did yes that's on a special this is more for trying to figure out our listenership yes and it's a great thing it's a great thing to go to wandery.com slash survey and tell them what you think we should do because you don't do that to me enough of using my email telling us what we should do. So actually do go to wandery.com slash survey and tell them your opinion about us.

Cause I'm tired of hearing about it. All right, let's fucking wrap this up. Go ahead. I want to say thank you to Patreon. Patreon. Thank you to Patreon for subscribing. And if you're listening to this, that means you're not Patreon

because this is on the free podcast. And Chad. Yeah, free podcast questions don't get answered. Fuck you. But there's no way to get it to you. Chad, what's your plug? You got a Twitch channel. Twitch channel is twitch.tv

slash HD underscore fatty, which just go to my Twitter page at HD fatty and my pinned tweet will tell you how to subscribe for free and I get real money for it and I appreciate it. Thanks. At Olivia does bits on Twitter and Instagram.

Yeah, Olivia's coming up for at least the... Seattle. No. Boise, Spokane. Boise, Spokane, and two Seattle dates, and then Denver. You're going to come to Denver too, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. If I fly from Alaska Before You Die Fest.

Oh, and she's in Alaska Before You Die Fest. Olivia Grace is representing the Funhouse up there at Cast Smiley's. Just figure it out. So good. I've seen the promo she's doing right now. She's fucking nailing it.

She's done a really good job. Even down to the poster. The poster is so cool. All the posters are cool. It's just so awesome. She's doing everything I would not do as someone who promotes comedy. She's doing it a comedian's way to do it, which is, I love it. I so wish we were going up there.

Issues with Andy and the Doug Sandoval podcast are so busy this year. Our calendar is so full, we cannot make it this year. Oh. What was that other thing? something's going on this weekend uh you told me today like i had to do something but that's yeah that's the important thing is uh joe b at at stanhope dscdp whatever It's easier to go to Chad's. Follow our Twitter stream this weekend,

the weekend of February somethingy something in 2020. Saturday. I think we're going to do it Saturday. It's on the 15th. Yeah. Joby, all the people from Chad's Twitch stream, which they'll tell you about it. Follow our Twitter because Joby is set up. Joby is this barbecue hot sauce guy.

So he's doing a hot wing challenge where it's going to be a six stage thing with Joby and Fury and Chad and Castle Rock Kenny and a couple others from the Twitch stream are going to be doing a mild to wild. Yeah. He's got a 2.2 million gigabyte fucking ghost pepper thing that's going to top it out. They're going to eat some fucking, and I'm going to be here, and we're going to do it live on Chad Chase. Stream it live on the Twitch channel. Yeah, just follow my tweets or at HDFatties tweets.

If you go to HDFatties Twitter page, it's pinned at the top how you can subscribe. Exactly. And if you have an Amazon Prime account, you get a free subscription. You have to do nothing more than to follow the instructions on Chad's Twitter page at HDFatty.

Yeah. Just do that and we'll be updating you as to it's going to be Saturday or Sunday this weekend. But it's live. So it happens. It happens. Live filmed in the Funhouse, and then they're going to go into their regular dart game,

which I guess they Twitch to. Yeah. Which is going to be against our wall on the stage. I don't know where you find a place to put a dartboard on the wall here. No, it's going to put it on the stage. Oh, on the stage. That'll work. So, yeah, hang around for that and spread that around.

When they tweet it, retweet it. Because, yeah, we'll finally have video in here for one of these things. And we'll probably be getting hammered. I'm not eating fucking hot shit at all red devil that's as hot as i get and joey's got some fucking wicked shit that well i mean come on kenny's gonna be here so there will be tears oh yeah there will be joey and i already discussed the prank in progress oh good sorry kenny uh be available Be available on Twitter because you'll get all the information from there. Love you.

Bye-bye now. Thank you. សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់� you