The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#373: Day 09 - Stanhope's 30 Day News Blackout

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

Day 09. Doug is almost in a good mood and then Chaille reminds him of last nights drunk phone calls.Recorded April 11th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Ms. Tracey (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.Stanhope is taking 30 days avoiding any news from the outside world whatsoever.As of 4/3/20 I am extending quarantine 30 days including complete #NewsBlackout of any kind. @MrHennigan will be running my Twitter. I will not be seeing responses, texts or leaving the house.Daily podcasts. Use hashtag for suggestions to @gregchaille or email [e-mail]~Doug StanhopeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast we're good oh is this a podcast yeah this is a podcast good. You don't even do the clapboard anymore. It has the wrong day on it. I don't even know what day it is. I look at that. It's like Shaylee took the day off today or something. Well, I looked at that and it said eight, and I know it's past that, but I don't know exactly how many days.

There we go. There we go. we go it's official oh henry i like it henry phillips stay here you're the only good pet that doesn't disturb the podcast where do we start the fucking bad weather's rolling in, and I knew that because I get my weather fucking piped in. After yesterday's podcast, our KGUN 9 April Madison called back, very upset that she missed her chance to be on the podcast. You had a couple calls yesterday. I don't know if you remember them all. Well, Brooke Bingaman, who works for the National Weather Service in D.C.,

she texted me the Bisbee weather today, so I didn't have to risk going on to the news. Oh, that's right. Yep, and it's shitty. All right. Yeah, well, I woke up feeling a little rough. Yeah, you kicked yourself out of here last night. Your jokes weren't working to the point that you decided to just. Yeah, I think I was evidently breaking up families.

I don't remember that. I remember talking to the kid, my maid's little 13 year old sister, who's cool as shit. And I remember like telling her she's smarter than her parents and stuff. But I don't remember telling her that her parents were getting a divorce just to fuck with her. But that's what happens. And, you know, adults being the only ones listening, I think that's different than a 13-year-old listening that you are considering as an adult. You're giving them an attitude of having the years of experience to understand sarcasm and irony and all that. Okay.

Got it. But you didn't stop. I got to say, you committed. You kept going in the face of zero acceptance to what you were saying. Yeah. They seem pretty upset. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't have a lot of really good material it turns out for 13-year-old girls. Haha, your parents are getting a divorce. I guess they don't see that as funny. No. Hmm. Neither did anyone else over 13 in the room except you. Yeah, I do remember that

part where I had to do the, uh, okay, I'm drunker than everyone else. Like, alright, no one thinks I'm funny. Maybe I'll go to bed. Three hours later, you went to bed. I think I woke up at 4.30, assured that my watch was wrong. I even remembered pulling out the timer to change the time, which I wouldn't have done. You never do that. I know.

But somehow I remembered that at 4.30 and I went, it's probably just cloud cover that's why it's this dark and uh yeah i slept in the other bedroom and i don't i don't remember that but that's the dark dark one yeah yeah so i must have taken a saraquil and then expected it to fucking last but it didn't sucked got a lot of... Did you have other things I did last night? Oh, well, wait. Yes. Because Jeff Tate, after we bickered about

Nickelback, I said, there's a couple of their songs I like. Jeff Tate was on the Daily Podcast last night. That was audio only, so you can go to all things comedy and go to the doug stand-up channel and catch that one um i think i also posted it on patreon just so that you know the 30 days yeah uh he was a great guest and we're gonna have him on again yeah i

fucking love tate uh yeah we were we were gonna have a guest tonight but i just i couldn't fucking just to do this hour or 30 minutes, whatever it turns into, I had to crowbar myself out of fucking bed. I'm feeling pretty rough. Good diarrhea today. Strong. Oh, yeah, but. No, go ahead.

Yeah. So as soon as we got done with Jeff Tate, I was already pickled, and I just went immediately fucking DM'd Nickelback. Well, Nickelback follows you. And then we brought it up. I don't know if it was on the podcast or after. It's like, does Nickelback follow you? Or does a member from Nickelback follow you?

Is it Vera? We went through that whole thing to try and vet. Yeah, I said, fuck it. I'll just do it right now while I'm drunk. Cause I wouldn't have the fucking balls to do that sober. So I just DM to, Hey, uh, give me a call. I'd love to have you on the podcast. And the guy wrote right back Mike from Nickelback.

And he wrote back. It was really cool. Cause he wrote back. Is this really Stanhope or is this bingo pranking me i'm like nick obeck knows bingo too so i called bingo i told her that this morning and i remember that and she goes oh really well what are some of their songs i know and then i tried to caterwall them into the phone and i can't sing at all. Like I can't even, they're not really, they're,

they're catchy songs and I still couldn't make them catchy. She goes, I'll look it up. She was a little out of it. She was a little out of the fun. I remember you saying that. Oh yeah. Get my,

get my phone. Bingo sent me a really funny text. She's really losing her shit. Please tweet at bingo Bingaman. So last night when you did call her and she's like, yeah, you're not recording right now. Are you?

You don't know, you know, Nickelback. She goes, yeah, she's like yeah you're not recording right now are you you don't know you know Nickelback she goes yeah that's like a band oh fuck I forgot Shane Gillis is coming uh Jason your mic is on by the way yeah she's losing her shit

so bingo yeah she said i signed up for fucking puppies and respectable looking older dogs and relaxation music on the goddamn dog tv she found it like oh this is going to be my channel dog tv it's for dogs, but she thinks it's great. It's like other puppies and cats. Yeah. She says, and what do I get at 5 a.m. on said dog TV? Mother cock sucking quails and a pet lizard

at a train station to rain falling rhythmically to rain falling rhythmically on Christ almighty. Christ almighty pots and pans. Did I mention the pet lizard? Suicide is the only way out. I'll see you in smell.

She just called me before the podcast and said, I just farted really bad in here. Can we switch houses? All right. Do you know who else you called yesterday? Who else did I call? So you called Mike from Nickelback, who you now just call, you refer to him as Mike Nickelback. You called April Madison and she called back

and you just missed the podcast. Um, I'm hooked up with weather girls everywhere. You called a 13 year old girl. That was the one you were just mentioning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, uh, Todd Glass called into the podcast. Yeah. I remember that.

I remember the podcast except for what I said. And you started it all off with Deibertine. Yeah, we called Deibertine. If you don't remember, she was the lady with dementia that I watched over the summer, took care of. And yeah, she kind of remembers me. She remembers Blue Belt, Bluey. She remembers your blue-haired gal pal. Yeah.

I was shocked at how together she is. Your story, it seems like she's a little more wandering around. Well, it's just that she seems together, but it's just the exact same conversation every time you go there. And she shows you all the pictures and explains them and which is probably what keeps her seemingly together she's about to get off the phone and then you mentioned something about photographs on the wall and then she'd like open back up it's like just i've added three new ones yeah so yeah that was i was trying to keep track so that we could talk about it in case you can't remember i'm actually shocked that you remember uh you made all those calls well i did go to bed pretty

pretty quick because i started drinking early uh and then i yeah i put a beating on the netflix today oh here's one if you put it in your fucking queue and you haven't got to it yet, you could just take it right out. Badland. It's a Western. And the fucking trailer looks really good. Like one filmed within the last couple of years? It seemed like they filmed it yesterday and edited it in a rush

to get new content on fucking Netflix. Because it was every bad cliche of a fucking western movie no it seemed it seemed almost worse than a spoof like that like this is a bad spoof like like it's not it's too spoofy but it's not a spoof the fucking girl who the fucking evil rancher's gonna take her land and now he's gonna come to the rescue and it's just fucking really. He's a hard man

but he's fair until you cross him. I love old westerns but yeah it's the newer stuff. Yeah the trailer looked really good but they only showed one scene. I'm like am I watching the movie because this isn't like cutting back and forth. It was just one.

They just picked the best scene. They went, they'll find out the rest is shit later. Can I tell you something I found today? Yeah. And watched all the episodes. It was a short episodic thing. David Spade has a thing called Lo-Fi Chat. All right.

David Spade has a thing called Lo-Fi Chat. All right. Where he has contacted no less than five of the Tiger King people and talked to them after. And David Spade is interviewing because he's got that show on Comedy Central. And he is interviewing as a guy who knows, like he asks specific questions and he's poking a little fun. And it was really good. And he talked to everyone except Joe King. And Amanda Knox. What's his name?

Joe Exotic. Yeah. Joe King. Did he make up with Amanda Knox yet? I don't know about that. I wasn't on the show. That was a tweet. I know.

I watched two documentaries that i've seen before one i'm so glad it's back because it's old it's 99 but it's a beyond the mat it's back on netflix it's a wrestling yeah and it's the one where Jake the Snake Roberts is fucking still out wrestling in like Kearney, Nebraska at a fucking local armory. And then smoking crack afterwards. And it's really good. I'm glad it's back because every time someone brought up the wrestler, the movie, which is fucking great. Yeah, but Mickey. I'd go, yeah, have you seen Beyond the Mat? And no one had.

And it wasn't. Beyond the Mat, is that a movie? Yeah, it's a documentary. Documentary, all right. Is Mick Foley the guy that died? No, Mick Foley is, he used to be a mankind. Mankind, yeah, he's in it. And I go, I-

He's in the stand-up. Oh, yeah, that's right, he is. Fuck, who's the one that fell off like a hundred foot thing? Oh, I know who you're talking about. I was like, oh, the caretaker? No, not the caretaker. You know who's in Beyond the Map

was our guy there. He came to the Pensacola show. Paul Bearer. Paul Bearer. Yeah. He managed the Undertaker for a while. Yeah,

he's dead. Yeah. Like, yeah, I was thinking that Mick Foley was the one that died, but now he's doing comedy. He just dies on stage

every night. I just saw that joke swim through my head and immediately kicked it into a gutter and you've just found it you fished it out i'm here for that i watched uh and this is i know it's the second time and i wasn't sure till towards the end i go oh yeah i do yeah i have seen this before but it's uh little peep i don't know the name of the documentary i have that but i think i have to pay for it on amazon prime it's on Peep. I don't know the name of the documentary. Oh, I have that, but I think I have to pay for it on Amazon Prime. It's on Netflix. Oh, it is?

Yeah. I watched it the second time just to be happy when I saw his corpse again. I am fascinated by the just train wreck of these up-and-coming rap stars who figure out how to work GarageBand. And someone goes, no, you should be doing this in this and they and they they elevate them to another level of professionalism like i wouldn't even die yeah it's so insane i wouldn't even like call him a rapper i mean he's it's as fucking talentless as rap yeah but it was slow so he didn't have to write as many words. Yeah. Lil Xanny was another guy, I think, who died of an overdose of opioids. Yeah, I wouldn't even know how- Another one just died.

Like a 24-year-old young rapper, a gal, and you go to the thing, I'm like, I'm so unimpressed by the like this is not something i this is like something you'd make as a like a video project for a cool teacher in a photography class like like all right you got you could do whatever you want and they got the one girl to do a rap video i mean they it is they would show little peep on stage and he's like mumbling but you go you have the song playing like you're mumbling to your own song and the crowd's singing most of it for you and you're just mumbling and it's nothing like and then all those stupid mush head friends they're all fucking mush heads and like yeah

when man i heard that i mean this guy bringing it hard i'm like that's hard? Switchblaze and cocaine? Man. It's two words. Man, it don't even rhyme. Yeah, I don't know. But I like, like, I'm a sucker for it when I see that another 19 and a half year old rapper dies. And I'm like, wow, he's blown up the charts. I'm like, really? What charts?

And you look and it's like, number one on YouTube for 13 seconds, you know, until the Kardashians drop another second. There was like some conspiracy nods at the end because he overdosed on the tour bus with a whole full fucking party going on. And he was sitting there for four hours before anyone noticed he was dead. I'm like, yeah, When has he said anything interesting during this whole fucking documentary? Don't fuck with him. He's sleeping. All he does is mumble anyway. I do feel sorry because it seems like it always starts

out with someone who has a creative side and they discover this way and then all of a sudden part of that movie is him talking. Because I saw the trailer. It's him talking about how he just gets sucked into this machine of partying every night. He's got to be the guy.

Kind of like you with wanting to be a host. Well, yeah. And all his friends are fucking broke as shit. They're homeless. So he lets them live there and doesn't even get to sleep in his own bed. Yeah, so he's got to sleep on the fucking bus. Yeah. But then he's like bitching about fucking capitalism.

The whole time he's a fucking walking billboard and singing songs about fucking Louis Vuitton and Gucci shoes and shit. But you're a fucking, you're a commercial. Gucci rhymes with a lot. Stanley Tucci. Stanley Tucci, you're a fucking doll. Love you, Moochie.

Norton, I watched, it was just, it was like a 20 minute, it's one of those compilation Netflix, The Degenerates. No, that's,

you talked about that a couple days ago. Yeah, I said that. I hadn't watched it yet though. So I just watched Norton's right before the podcast. It was fucking good. And Big J's on there too. So I'm going to watch that. And then I'll watch Todd Glass,

which you just watched. I watched Act Happy last night and five minutes into it, I go, Tracy, we've seen this? She goes, I think so. And then like two minutes later, it's like, oh, we've seen this.'s like i think so and then like two minutes later it's like oh we've seen this and i watched the whole thing again fucking love it todd glass called me two nights in a row right before the podcast and then tonight he didn't call so if you want to at todd

glass and ask him if we're still friends or if that's over because i thought maybe we're with this beef between you and yeah hashtag news blackout you did call him back last night and then he called you back and then you were going to call him like a third time and we had to take your phone away oh okay that's a good thing yeah you're welcome I think I might have texted him back

you did but you were going to call him okay yeah that would be too much for a new relationship I'd seem pushy act happy man I texted him pictures of all my gay signs in my, in the fun house. And he said, that's too gay.

Very, it's very good. It's a polished, put together really well, small, intimate room. And he just fucking out of the shoot is just fucking hilarious. I just,

I just love like fifts nightclub act type of thing with a band and everything and the band interacts with him it's fucking it's so good and i forgot he even said that he said you know i don't i don't do that i don't uh i don't promote myself but i'm really proud of that it's really good watch that and uh i i'm just watching he's got a fuck which made me want to read my entire book because i'm proud of it he's really good watch that and uh i i'm just watching i mean he's got a fuck which made me want to read my entire book because i'm proud of it he's got a music stand and and it's really he's uh music cues and it's like i get it dude i don't know how you fucking keeping track of this thing how this is shot because there are so many cues with the band and everything and

they're all working in sync it's really good it's called act happy it's on netflix and uh yeah check it out all right i don't know what else i have on my notes that's pretty much it oh oh i fucking yeah i watched in and out because i don't know how many episodes it is but it seemed to go on forever when as in and out of sleep is a pandemic, which Holy fuck. Did they get lucky? Have you seen, you know, it's a pandemic.

It's this, I know what a pandemic is now. Yeah. It's a mini series on Netflix documentary that they just wrapped production on in November about the inevitability of a pandemic one day coming, then mapping out how it could, you know, fuck up the world.

The production company knew it was happening. They rushed to production, but our government just ignored it. Or they caused it. I'm sure that fucking theory's floating around the internet. Like virus, like internet virus protection. But yeah, you would never have, I would have never watched that

if it weren't for this shit going on. Oh, it's a documentary, like eight hours or six hours, whatever the fuck it is, about a flu that could happen. Oh, yeah, it could work. I'll watch it now. So you watched the whole thing? Yeah, I watched the whole thing, but missing pieces when I fell asleep and woke up and fell asleep. No, that's watching it, Doug. It still wasn't that interesting.

It wasn't that interesting. It was just very timely. I have to be careful to know that when it's sleep TV that I don't care. And that was good sleep TV. I don't care. I did find

What did it come up on? It came up on a trailer. And that was good sleep TV. So I don't care. I did find... What did it come up on? It came up on a trailer. Or it came up as an ad before one of the David Spade episodes with him talking lo-fi chat. And it was Devil's Rejects.

I'm like, are they re-releasing this? It said Rob Zombie. It was House of a Thousand Corpses, Devil's Rejects. I'm like, what the fuck is this? There there's a third movie the third in the trilogy oh i've never watched them i just know they exist and uh it's only available on shutter which is a pay but you get seven days free so you go to shutter s-h-u-d-d-e-r seven days free and uh and you'll have all the time in the world to remember to cancel exactly you won't miss this one but uh three from hell and you're gonna need the money and it's got uh it's got the dude who played captain spaulding he just died um he's the captain spaulding character

he's at he's in the he's in it and then um the two other cherry moon and then the other guy who plays uh uh well why don't we do that with Patreon? Do the whole seven-day free trial scam. Give us your credit card. And if you forget, $4.99 a month. No. Well, what I could do is I could just put... I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. Yeah, we've got some emails. Yeah, let's get to the emails, and I'll get back to bed. I don't have anything in order. Why? Are they three-part questions? No, because... Let's get to the emails and I'll get back to bed. There's no, I don't have anything in order. And, uh. Why are they three part questions? No, because. Scrambled.

I'm taking, I just put everything in a folder called News Blackout. But, uh, yeah. So, uh, Shane asked, this is through Patreon. Uh, Doug should watch Brendan Schaub. Yeah. Yeah. Schaub. His special, You'd Be Surprised.

Is it on Netflix? I'll look for it. I don't know what it is. I think I went through every single fucking comedy stand-up special. Say it more. I don't know. Well, no, I haven't got to the YouTube yet. He'd like to hear your take on the special.

Because you were asking about suggestions and stuff. The only takes you're going to hear me say are positive or anonymous. Like that one I watched, American Anarchist, where I just had to look up the director and he's on Twitter. But I stopped myself from going, you're just a fucking douche. I finished that one after yesterday's or the day before his podcast uh god damn it charlie fuck i can almost remember his name but he's just pestering this guy this guy wrote the anarchist cookbook a fucking thousand years ago in the early 70s and that's the you know go-to thing for fucking how to make bombs getting put on a watch list yeah and then he like distanced

himself and disappeared and thought it would go away and then it kind of had a resurgence and it's been like found at the scene of a lot of fucking like columbine kids had it and and he's just grilling this guy he's like yeah it's just something i wrote or do you feel bad well yeah of course i feel bad how bad do you feel and the director just like what the fuck do you feel bad? Well, yeah, of course I feel bad. How bad do you feel? And the director's just like, what the fuck do you want the guy to say? The entire documentary is this whiny director going, what would you do differently? If you could take it back, okay, you put out an open letter discounting it. Why don't you do more? Just shut the fuck up.

It was really fucking irritating. It was that morning irritation where I want to find you, and I did. No, I just want to go, you're just a piece of shit. But why bother? I got an email. You can send emails to- Give me shit about fucking a couple of goddamn

fucking Nickelback songs I like, yet this fucking Lil Peep would fucking can't put two words together. Ugh. Hmm. That's gonna be a fun podcast. What's that? Lil Peep? No, he's dead. Nickelback. Oh. Yeah, I went on

Nickelback's fucking Wikipedia page because I didn't really know shit about them. I didn't even know they were Canadian. And I went on their Wikipedia page and I thought, oh shit, what if one of them died from coronavirus? That'll be a news break. Well, you'll find out on the 1st of May. All right. Some of these emails I get have, there's like 17 questions rolled into the email. Yeah, you just pick the ones you like.

I'm just, this is this i thought was interesting uh martin cunningham uh is wants to know uh how much saraquil do you take uh when you take one because he takes eight 800 milligrams a night as the shrinks have prescribed and often he has to get up after six hours for a 13-hour shift as a nurse in the burn unit. And he says it's a challenge. Oh, that's a fucking horrible job. But having to get up after six hours. Oh, that burns bad.

What happens after you go to sleep for only six hours? That's what I think I might have done last night. Because I was up at 4.30. And if I went to bed, 10, 10.30. But usually, if I pace them out and I space them and give them days apart or weeks apart better, then I don't know the dosages. I should know the dosage. But yeah, that can make me sleep like 16 hours with a piss break

at 12 I haven't checked your closet lately you probably should yeah sorry I don't know the dosage because I'm not prescribed them but could you imagine getting up after only 6 hours you get called in and then you're going into a burn unit i'd want to be groggy all right here's a heather and philip have a video question

they love the daily podcast what happened to the video and that's oh okay yeah you can explain that the video uh would we add in another component, which is the Skype, it isn't playing very well with our production software. I'm making tweaks. And I thought I had it today, but then we had to kick out. So we'll get back on it. I will continue to put the audio every day up on our All Things Comedy page for Doug Seattle. But I'll also put the audio up on Patreon.

So everyone just has to go to one spot. And yeah, that's that's that my fault not Doug's yeah that was very succinct tight brevity is key well I'm in between two and three glasses of wine perfect timing Michael Myers no relation does he say that or are you just guessing well you know what? His fucking

Nickelback in April Madison called me in the same day and you don't think Michael Myers might? You're right. What's he been doing lately? I fully support that you should charge $5 a month for this podcast so I upped my payment. Up yours. Sorry, I had to do it. Good work there, fucking Mike Myers.

Thank you. I almost didn't want to put this one up because jamie larson wants uh he wanted to uh fuck with you through the bisbee uh observer he was going to offer them money a hundred dollars to put news in the police beat so that you would be forced to get news and i i mean, I'm only bringing this up because something's only funny if you do it. That's true, but yeah. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

I don't know how far you're going to get with that. They're pretty serious. Yeah, the whole Bisbee Observer. In fact, I think they're related. The editor or owner, whatever she is, is related to one of the long-term Bisbee cops. So I don't think – Yeah. Well, I mean, they're – if you – I mean, we get them every week.

If you got them weekly, you would see that there is a theme that they try and stick with, you know, from beginning to end. Yeah. In the Bisbee portion of it, at least. And yeah, I mean, it's crazy enough out here. You should just subscribe to it. It's fucking like a dollar a week or something. Well, no, I guess. Yeah, if you're fucking your one Patreon dollar's that goddamn important.

Get your news from us. Here's a 30-day blackout question from Andrew Lewis. Since Yang dropped, Here's a 30-day blackout question from Andrew Lewis. Since Yang dropped, I hadn't caught if Doug landed on another candidate to endorse. I'm curious. Yeah, well, for the short amount of time that goof lasted, I went with Tulsi Gabbard, but she dropped. Well, he also asked if you've ever considered Vermin Supreme.

Yeah, they were actually saying Vermin Supreme would actually come to Bisbee to do the podcast. Who's Vermin Supreme? He's like the libertarian kooky guy. He wears a giant shoe on his head or something. Like Johnny Appleseed? Just like a, no, more of a Lady Gaga. Like a giant shoe for a hat or

something weird like that i don't know and uh well giant shoes are very slimming well whoever his lady is there's publicists i don't know what her role is but she's said that i go we only do you know well that was before we did skype i go we goes, oh, I could get them to Bisbee. And then I say, I had so much going on back then. Like now I have time to do that, but I'm not on email. Have Vermin Supreme email. What's the email address for this? Stanhopepodcast at gmail.com. Or you can always do news, hashtag news blackout on Twitter.

I check them. Not too much action hashtag news blackout on twitter i check them uh not too much action on news blackout but obviously i'm getting them here and through patreon patreon i read the patreon so if you get in touch through me through the patreon we'll figure that out yeah even with like nickelback i go oh fuck i don't like like if we can do comics all day i can talk to a comedian all fucking day. But, yeah, I'm going to have to have some good questions or angles for people. Like, yeah, what am I going to talk to Vermin Supreme about? Like, if he's a libertarian, yeah, I'm bailed out on all that, you know? I mean, a lot of their ideals, I go, yeah, that sounds smart. But for the most part, I don't know. Fucking healthcare or economics or fucking guns.

What do I know? Do what you gotta do, and then we just say we need to make room for us. Hey, nice shoe! What'd you do with the left one? Oh, wait. He's probably wearing the left one, right? It's actually a boot. It's like a

rubber boot. Oh, all right. Yeah. Pretty good looking fella. Yeah, good ties. Giant beard. Yeah. Crazy beard. Yeah, of course.

Oh, yeah, you know, Walsh. We should get Walsh on. We were talking about that. Like, now that this is becoming a thing, I was thinking, like, who should we have on? Please send in your suggestions. We could go through our roster of just the guys who voted for you. It gives people something to do, Chaley.

They feel like they're participating in this project. You're right. And maybe they come up with someone. Fucking Jeff Tate. I wouldn't have ever thought to contact Nickelback. First person I thought of. I know, but I'm saying because of that interview, when Nickelback came up, I went, fuck, I'll reach out.

Everyone's bored. Yeah, we got to jump on this. Is it going to be weird to try to charge for tickets after this whole thing's over? Like everyone, every comics is doing every other comics fucking podcast for free. And then what if they just wipes out the industry through oversaturation? Well, there's still no substitute for a live show. That's the thing. It's the ones that have

gone off. Andy Dick was... I haven't seen... Oh my God! You've got to see this. I tuned in to a live Zoom of a comic. Yeah, I know. And that has not hit my inbox yet. If you have

please let me I will promote it to the ends of the earth if there's been a live comedy show with someone's floating head on a screen telling jokes to nobody Bill Cosby's podcast just had Louis C.K. on it

what? now I'd be one to watch everyone's throwing content out. Hey, Comcast Mail. M-A-I-L. Don't forget. Let me do my hair right now because I'm going to forget and then we're going to have to cut. Are you doing it or am I doing it?

No, you're doing it. Oh, great. Let's get a fucking nice chunk. I have a funny one. I just want to go corner to corner. You're not in the camera shot. Yeah, yeah. Shit, shit, shit.

You keep going up. You should go across. It looks weirder going. Oh. I just want to do corner to corner. Nice one. Look at all that hairy spot. Jesus.

Nice. That's a good one. Can we get just the back, Doug? Turn around. Let's see the back. There we go. Still have a lot of hair on the back, so maybe tomorrow. Yeah.

Who was I talking to? I go, oh, yeah, sorry about that. This is a, and I explained that I'm doing a patch a day. They're like, oh, I didn't know if you're getting nervous and just pulling it out. No. I think your maid was asking you're getting nervous and just pulling it out. No, I think you're made with asking you that. Yeah. Nanny made.

All right. Uh, Comcast mail, uh, asks besides seeing you live, how do I view, listen, and try to laugh at your latest bullshit comedy,

which it's when I see those kinds of questions, I wonder if it was trying to be funny, you know? Yeah. But are you asking when the specials coming out i don't what does that mean well you don't know how to fucking find shit on youtube without the new special what what one thing that you have out there would you suggest like as a way to get introduced to you oh what's special to watch listen or watch or anything people got time

I was just thinking if I was on twitter I was thinking I would put up a twitter poll that said fucking if Netflix would put one of my fucking specials back on would you choose no refunds beer hall,

pooch, or no place like home? That would be my Twitter poll. So we won't taint that by telling them what you think then. You can do it as a poll right here. You just have people hashtag blackout. Let's just put it. We'll get Henning to put it on because Henning would be the one who would have to introduce that to Netflix anyway. But those three, yeah.

This is long. From Across the Street is very underrated, but it's audio only. I think people are listening to CDs these days. So, anything. Here's some no-wiper advice. You had a question about that a while ago. I had a no wiper yesterday. It's fucking fantastic.

Listen, I wiped to check. There's, there's no such thing as a no wiper unless it like in computer. The first one is a zero. I don't think I've bathed for the entire time. I don't know. Yeah.

So why this, the daily count. You took a bath. You did take one bath. know. Yeah. So why this, the daily count. No, you took a bath. You did take one bath. Hmm. Maybe. Yes. But it hasn't been recently

because I was going to do it today and I fucking smelled my socks when I got out of bed and then I smelled my balls when I took a piss and I have to do this now. Sitting down. That's true.

Oh, so waft it up from the toilet water? Yeah, yeah. My balls are right... I'm not that tall. I'm not social distancing from my balls. They are from you, though. Rapidly.

So, Lou has some advice, just that you might want to know. If you're really going for a good no-wiper, I've heard heroin will block your asshole for several weeks several weeks with the only caveat being when you do have to shit you blow your ass out yeah thanks guy who watched train spotting 14 times uh but yeah heroin's a deep an idea i if, has anyone started doing heroin during all this? Just because, why not? I'm not suggesting it.

I'm just, I don't know what goes on with people in the outside world. Stop picking at your hair. It's coming out in clumps. I know. Uh... Cole Harrison. No, these are old nah that was the

Road Atlas one so that that's it that's it for my questions for right now I've got more to go through but that that was more than I thought

I'd get you're being very patient Brian had an idea I don't know if I should even mention it but uh hold on a second about how to do

like the fucking news reveal and whose podcast to do it on and uh it's a good idea and he said the special will be out by then he swears it this time he wouldn't lie to me that many fucking months in a row uh and i go well it's uh it's really not a pitchable idea until there's enough fucking news that I'm going to be shocked by. So I told him to wait on it, and he goes, oh, I think there will be, which I immediately take as, oh, I'm missing something else.

I mean, look, I'm looking at my list. That's why I don't. I'm getting texts i don't return because the people when i do talk to people even though they know i'm doing this news quarantine they like they'll talk and that's their fucking life it's their day and then there's like oh i'm sorry i can't say that i'm like yeah so now i'm just getting my fucking curiosity peaked i'm fine when I'm watching Netflix. I was watching Pandemic thinking, oh, okay, this is like the news.

This is like nicotine gum for news. Well, the one thing that I've showed you twice, I already showed you this, but I want to bring it on the podcast, is that because we do video, people do repost clips. Oh, yeah. Here's the latest one. Show me. Show me. Tell me. Let's see if I get it in this shot. I fucked it up.

I look like Sean Rouse if he aged. I don't even know what that was god damn it it was you yelling at the cat hit the escape button I didn't do it yet sorry but it was you yelling at Meatwig

but it was just without the context of you yelling at a cat it was you basically turning around off camera no one knows who's in the room and you telling someone to shut the fuck up. Which, you know, I get it. Did Brian Hennigan retweet it? It's funny.

I don't know how. I'll find it. I have not checked email. I have gone in and still I'll delete fucking spam. So I don't have to do it all at once at the end. But I'm not looking at any of the emails that are not spam. Oh, here, I got it, I got it. Here, have a look.

Is that going to be my, we're going to do it live? Yeah. It looks like he's looking at Tracy yeah actually it is you hear it he's gonna play this the rest of the podcast will be in the background alright that's how I fucking the gifs bother me

stop it oh my god I'm in a loop I can't get out of it GIFs bother me. Stop it. Oh my God. I'm in a loop. I can't get out of it. I never click on those fucking things when people put them on my fucking Twitter. GIFs? Yeah.

Thanks, the fourth surf ninja. So that's it for questions? That's it for now. Or usable ones? Yeah ones answerable ones you can send uh questions to stanhope podcast at gmail and i'll go through it also i go to the patreon first and i got a ton to go through because uh people are asking about the video and all that shit but uh yeah we're we're figuring it out we don't know what the fuck we're doing. Yeah. It's just the three of us. Well, we got fucking Shane Gillis just texted. I forgot he was on his way because I forgot it was the weekend.

Now, are you sure you want someone from the outside world coming into the compound? Yeah, he'll be in the guest house. Can we put him on Skype from the guest house? That'd be funny. I'm not laughing because I think it's serious. What? No, he's been quarantined for like six weeks i mean he is driving across country and he's gonna have to touch some fucking flying j gas pump handles but he'll be careful yeah i touch your mail and i come in

he's gonna he's gonna be fucking dick stinking from a bunch of lot lizards cranking their assholes up and down on his cock and his fucking pt cruiser i don't know what he drives but let's just make the imagery as funny as possible all right maybe i'm in a good mood. Too late. Sorry. Sorry, podcast listeners. I just get this drink just turned my... Ow. Oh, that's attached. Sorry. I thought it was a loose hair.

That was a skin tag. You're at 43 minutes, Doug. So you're... The fucking pandemic thing. There was a lady... Yeah, the documentary. Because they go all over the world. And they just...

They follow people in India that are working on shit with flu season. So it's international. Yeah, but one of the things they keep going back to are these anti-vaxxers in Oregon. Wow, are they fucking eating crow now? Yeah. What's the tax? Well, there was like a bill going to the fucking uh you know what the state to vote on about uh not forcing your kids to get vaccinations

if you want them to go to public school and she's like no it's they're my children and you know we're gonna be unpopular but this is the right way and blah blah blah but then my kid's not gonna be able to participate in fucking basketball and soccer and he loves soccer you know what raise your fucking kid fucking homeschooling I smoke I don't

I can't go to bars that's the fucking rule make up your own game make up your own basketball game because it's it's the two year old against the the two-year-old against the the 18-year-old jesus christ come on yeah i don't i don't get the whole andy vaxxer thing fucking crazies it's all base it's like i swear to god it's just like msg msg got a bad rap because someone made a fucking goof like they made made up the stats in the 70s. And so everyone, no MSG, no MSG.

There's nothing related to getting like a medical condition because of eating MSG. And it's delicious. And it is fucking delicious. It's in a lot of things you don't know about because some people just throw it in there. It's delicious. It's umami, of things you don't know about because some people just throw it in there. It's delicious. It's umami, right, Tracy? It's umami? Yep. And it's the same thing with the anti-vaxxers. It causes autism

or something? What? It's based on junk science. Every single one for fucking... It's not anything that has been peer-reviewed and gone through the regular fucking... We'd all be autistic. Every single one of us for decades. The rates of autism would have started a lot earlier than rates of autism go up because the population goes up you can't look at something that happened 30

years ago and say it should be a flat line this is exactly where we start spouting off scientific information that we don't have any facts to back up you don't know how much they've balanced in the population growth with the amount of autism. You're just assuming. Which I would say you're probably right, but we don't really fucking know anything. Also, there's environmental factors that exist now that did not exist in the 70s. Fucking

Olivia Grace. She made me fresh-squeezed orange juice, left her house and put it in my grapefruit juice, left it in my mailbox. There's pulp in it. It's clogging up my straw. I love pulp. What a fucking asshole.

I love pulp in the- Well, then get us appropriate straw. You figure she'd strain it for- Here, make that into a gif. By the way, since we actually communicate through the podcast jason fury i did get her jeep started olivia's jeep started it's in front of her house and now uh dave raider i'm out of eggs well i yeah i stocked up but i fucking bingo ran out so i gave her eggs so dave raider

texted me again last night but I was really fucked up. I need two eggs, Doug. Because I got that big huge chunk of mousse fat that you thought was a... You need it tonight? No, no.

You thought that mousse fat that the uphill brought... Yeah, it was some fancy cheese. You thought it was some cheese? It is... It is as big as a slice of pizza from like a...

like a large or medium size... Yeah, and like four inches thick Jesus Christ well I want to do the egg I want to fry an egg in mousse fat because then I also

got salmon did you throw away first of all did you guys do my laundry oh there's a laundry basket in there yeah just because

we were looking for something to fill it out and I saw it okay and then did you throw away my bacon fat no

no I bet I bet the maid did it because I said do you throw away my bacon fat? No. No. I bet the maid did it. Because I said, do you throw away my bacon fat? And she goes, what? And I don't think, it was in a yogurt cup. Maybe she thought you milked your prostate. She's like, why is this in the kitchen?

It should be in the bathroom. Put it in a plastic yogurt container? Yeah, it is pretty gross. Why don't we bring you up a little something that you can put your bacon in? Because I've been trying to reuse shit. If I can use the fucking plastic yogurt container a couple times. I mean, it was washed out. I appreciate it. By the way, the recycling in Bisbee is still going on.

The reason. Oh, wait. You told me to plug local. If you live in bisbee local go to the grand they're doing to go food really oh bisbee grand and i don't know and poco would you look poco and roca poco i don't know okay sorry oh that was a question mark oh my god roca's doing like weekend date stuff get like a like the five course meal from Roca hey I want the

I want the sorbet too I want the palate cleanser you have to look at the what's the weather tomorrow I haven't heard from all my weather it's supposed to be okay isn't that news

it's supposed to be sunny but not no it's not news not super warm I'm gonna take a Xanax tonight cause that way I'll wake up fucking smooth and then

it's a Sunday. Sleep tomorrow. Drive around afterwards. I was thinking about getting a fucking convoy. I'd love to go to Benson because Kentucky Fried Chicken is closed in Sierra Vista. They're renovating.

I just met around town. They fucked up. They're like 80% through with the renovation. It's like, huh? They're like 80% through with the renovation. It's like, oh, man, you guys just missed it. You know what you'd be pulling in? Jesus.

And it's a standalone. They don't have to share it with the Taco Bell money. Oh, geez, yeah. I haven't eaten Kentucky Fried Chicken in a decade at least. You said you wanted it. Yeah, it was good.

The fucking mashed potatoes and gravy are the best. Like, to tell someone, hey, it's 20 minutes away. We're going to get Kentucky Fried Chicken. You want to go? And that's all that coronavirus can live on is 20 minutes on styrofoam. It's true.

But it's like telling someone, hey, get in the car. They don't have styrofoam anymore. They don't. All right, I'm done. All right. Get in the car. Get in the car. Drive around. Yeah yeah let's go

it was fun with Olivia behind me on speakerphone we just talked and hey check out that building there's a new there's a new app

I won't say what it is until I test it out but I just saw it on Pluto TV and it's a way we could all be connected party line

it's like a party line where you can get up to eight. Explain that to the kids that are listening. It's up to eight people can get on it. Like you fight FaceTiming with eight people. So we'll download it and then we can do the convoy and we can head out to, I don't know, where? No, just like through old Bisbee, Saginaw, all these weird neighborhoods. We used to cruise. Oh, we can do the gimbal. We can do a video of the whole thing fucking lowell

yeah people shit their pants that they saw lowell it's just one street it's like 100 yards of of old vintage fucking it looks like a 1950s street it's not a movie set it's just a few fucking people that are up there well hey, let's make this weird. By the amount of smoke coming out behind your head with Tracy's smoking behind you, I'm probably going to get two buckets of chicken tomorrow. The clippers are

defective and so they smoke a lot. Let's do that because I can put the audio into the video that we record on the gimbal. That'd be fun. Yeah, let's not do that because I can put the audio into the video that we record on the gimbal. That'd be fun. Yeah, let's not do that tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Wait, what did you say the weather was? No, tomorrow is windy and 69. Yeah, fuck it. You should stay in bed tomorrow. 69? Perfect town. Yeah. I wasn't going for that.

I heard it might snow over 6,000 feet tonight. Really? And it's going to get cranked right back up. But I guess that's not that weird. It might get to 39 here. So, yeah. It's close. Yeah, going up it would. A little higher.

We're already at 5,000. Yeah, we have huge leaps between night and day here. 30 degrees. All right. Well, I appreciate you. Remember to tweet at Bingo. Keep her fucking happy. What's your Twitter?

Oh, yeah. At Bingo Bingaman. And I don't think we said Jeff Tate's right Twitter handle last night. It's at Jeff Tate. 69. 96. G-E-O-F-F-T-A-T-E 96. G-E-O-F-T-A-T-E 96. Geoff Tate.

Geoff Tate. 96. And it's in the show notes from yesterday. And he's not the guy from Queensryche. Right. Yeah. Wow. Doug pulled a fucking guest.

Silent Lucidity, Geoff Tate? Yeah, the one that would probably hate Nickelback. Makes more sense now. All right. Thank you. We'll see you tomorrow. I'll be fucking peppy and stuff. Xanax night.

Take us out, Bingo. Okay. Bye-bye now. Thank you. guitar solo សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.