The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#374: Day 10 - Stanhope's 30 Day News Blackout

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

Day 10. Are we still doing video?Recorded April 12th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Ms. Tracey (@Egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.Stanhope is taking 30 days avoiding any news from the outside world whatsoever.As of 4/3/20 I am extending quarantine 30 days including complete #NewsBlackout of any kind. @MrHennigan will be running my Twitter. I will not be seeing responses, texts or leaving the house.Daily podcasts. Use hashtag for suggestions to @gregchaille or email [e-mail]~Doug StanhopeSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast are we doing video not yet hold on we're still working on now we're doing video no but we're still working is it, no. Last night was a video. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Fuck, I forgot last night's already. But I did get a good goddamn night's sleep. Yeah, you look much better today. And then worked. I get up at eight.

Been moving all day. Walk the dog. This fun... If you knew what the bar used to look like underneath me here in the fun house, that shit behind me, that gets done tomorrow, because my maid put in some hours.

She's fucking strong, Chaley. That's why you hired her. Yeah. No, I'm saying I like, I felt like I should chip in on some of the shelves down there. And then she had help.

Yeah. She had to go back and go. Now this is what I call clean. I remember the only time we hired nurse Betty. To do a deep clean i think it was before this was even built but of course i went and pre-cleaned anything to the cleanest it's ever been and then when she got done she goes wow it's been a while since this has been cleaned huh you're pre-cleaning well uh so so shane gillis knows i went in and pulled out some shit that didn't need to be in there but uh yeah you're made fucking clean the shit out of your room hopefully there's no bed

bugs i don't but there's there's no indication that there's bed bugs other than someone who's freaked out, bought a gallon of bed bug spray, which doesn't exist. Non-toxic bed bug spray. You know, I just re-gifted that to via bingo as Steve Drew. I think his hotel is still open. Oh, can I get that beer out of the freezer, please? Oh, geez.

I thought you just chugged a cocktail that fast. That was half a beer. Yeah, so this morning, I was a little snippy earlier because I got up here this morning at 11. Well, it was a little bit later than that to try and get prepped for the Issues with Andy podcast. Yeah. Which is usually just turning on the computer and then making a drink. That's show prep. Yeah.

For all of us. Except for Andy always has technical issues. No, it's been going. He's out on the deck. My point being is I didn't see where the O'Connells or the O'Douls or whatever the fake. Beer is O'Douls. No, what's it called? O'Connell.

My glasses, I can't see. Oh, the Brady's. Oh, the fake Bailey's. Fake Bailey's. I couldn't find the fake Bailey's. And so I'm looking and I'm like, I don't want to do Kahlua because Kahlua is coffee flavor to put in my coffee. So I saw Drambuie back there. I'm like, oh don't want to do Kahlua because Kahlua is coffee flavored to put in my coffee. So I saw Drambuie back there and I'm like, oh, that's a drink.

It makes me mentally crazy, baby. So I'm trying to, and that got brought up. I'm trying to open it and I'm like, this much didn't evaporate. This has been open before, but it's sticky. So it was sealed and I'm like hitting the bar top to try and like jar it loose, you know? And then I finally, I drank two of those. And that's whiskey with honey and something else.

I have no idea what it is. It put me down right after the podcast. I keep going back to eat that fucking thing. Oh, I forget to say I'm a little bit high i did edible for this one because i had nothing to say i'm gonna tell you about my day i baked four potatoes so i had a bag of potatoes that i forgot that someone had bought me because i i only buy one and uh so when it's in a bag i don't even notice what that bag is but i baked four potatoes and then i had an idea for my last beyond burger i was gonna make meatless uh shepherd i was gonna

say vegan but i did put some parmesan cheese on yeah motherfucker be vegetarian right but it was the first time i chopped up a a beyond burger they're not a sponsor and i know i'm letting you down by saying i'm not eating vegan i'm just like if it's a choice between a burger that tastes exactly like the other one why not just eat the other one or whatever you had on hand sometimes it's i gotta go back and re-watch one of those how they fuck with your food things because i i it's like going to the dentist. Well, yeah, you're pretty good about fucking upkeep for about three days. And then you go back to your old ways.

Yeah, you watch one of those fucking how they like the dirty fucking cows. They're feeding you. I think the documentary was Rotten. It was the one that we watched. That's a new one. Yeah. I mean, there's a million. Oh, no shortage of people telling you what not to eat.

Not anymore. Are you going to eat that pumpkin pie filling? There was none left on the shelves. Oh, you have sardines? I couldn't find sardines. God, what did I eat? Oh, it was smoked oysters. I go, I'll eat those.

Ugh, not good. It's not good. The Chaley's got me to-go sushi. And just like everywhere else, that's all that's available. You go in, pick up your... And just like everywhere else, that's all that's available. You go in, pick up your... But the fact that sushi would do to-go only, kind of weird. There was someone in pain when I was there. I mean, people were...

At least they knew that they could go there. I mean, I would never have guessed sushi. Yeah, sushi doesn't last for that 30-minute drive back. Well, it's the purveyors. Are they getting fresh fish on the reg? That rice was unfresh. I know you liked it because you like your rice al dente. Well, no, I did notice it was a little bit firmer than usual.

Yeah, and then I ordered the spicy crab salad and went, oh, fuck, panko comes on that and it's gonna be soggy as fuck well it's great when you when he hands it over the bar to you and you start eating it right away yeah a 35 minute drive back and i thought to say tracy see if they'll do the panko on the side but uh, but I know the guy. And when I come in, he always gives it to me free, a small one. And sushi is one weird food where you feel bad for telling them how you want it. Like if it's not on the menu or maybe substitute cucumber for avocado, I would do that but like can i get that with like you go to japan and

you've seen that stupid awful documentary like we went to a place in la and you don't order off a menu the fucking chef gives you what he wants his his uh his take on sushi for the day which is still even as high dollar and snobby as that sounds, it's still a scam to get rid of the shit that's about to go bad. I don't know. You're talking about that one, the guy that has like 11 seats at a sushi bar in Japan down in LA. Yeah, that's sold out for years.

11 seats? 11? Not 12? This sushi bar in LA was, I brought Junior there before we were playing the comedy store. And we walked down to this place, and it was fucking empty. It wasn't sold out for years because they're going to tell you what you want. So they basically just made things for you one at a time and just handed it over?

No, we walked out. Oh, you left. Yeah, really loudly. You didn't even try it. Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't even kick it over an ashtray on the way out or a trash can? Yeah, sushi is generally fish, depending on where you are. But you can't act like all sushi is.

Like, if I went to barbecue, there's like three things that you're going to get. And I don't know two of them. Chicken and beef are two things that are going to be at a barbecue. I was thinking pulled pork. Point being, yeah, if you try to pull that shit, but the difference between sea urchin... Ooni. Yugi.

I love it. Ooni. Yugi. I love it. Loo-oo-ee. Yeah. See, the thing is, that's not a place for you to go eat. I would love to go eat there. Yeah, because you're a spineless guy who can't make choices. No, I want them to give me what they consider the freshest fish of the day. That's

exactly what I'm saying. They're fucking gonna act like what is about to spoil within three to four minutes. So it'd be the same. It would be, we have yellowtail, we have carob, and mackerel.

It's like our way. I had an itch. That's it. That's it. All right. Thanks, everyone. Do we have any questions? We do.

That's it for you? No. Yeah, I don't. I fucking just worked around the house. I said baked potatoes, and then I made that other thing. So now I still have four baked potatoes, but sour cream is about to expire. That's why I started baking fucking potatoes. I can't wait to get to my just where I have no perishables.

It's got to be around the corner. Yeah, but now that the maid is going to do a Safeway run. Yeah. Are you getting perishables it's got to be around the corner yeah no but i now that uh the maid is gonna do a safeway run you know what are you getting perishables re-upping well that's that's yeah that's really that milk's bad by the way yeah have you have you smelled it today listen smell it tracy bend up and smell my anal vapor but you're smelling the the container the part of the container that has rotten milk which is the outside and that's fine so if that's fine the milk's fine all right you know what i'm drinking i'm drinking uh going back to uh white russians after this uh i've i you know i was thinking today, Greg Chaley,

like, if I ever get to do a new project, we talked about changing this bar into a U-shape. I've often thought of that since you said that. Go ahead, but I mean... I was thinking about, if not this bar, the fucking living room room now that we have all that in the house yeah setting up a proper podcasting situation it's kind of cramped back here what's the living room where the couch used to be the main now there's lawn furniture they'll wear the front door yeah okay you have two front doors and two living rooms now, so that's right.

But that's the other front door is the office. Yeah, that back wall, that would work. Because you got that long wall between the two windows. The divider. No. Oh, the long wall. The long wall between the two windows. Yeah, you'd have that corner there, which would be nice, because then you be on one one end of that and then uh i'll show you pictures i put them

aside i was throwing shit in the crawl space that but i kept the pictures back of when we first moved in here and me and father luke had semi-circle matching tiki bars with the umbrella. You had a patio bar. Inside? Yeah, inside with an umbrella. With the divider separating us. But that's what made me think, oh, I could put a fucking bar back in here or the dining room.

This is a discussion that is not podcast worthy. Well, you know, I beg to differ because someone just, I'm not going to answer the question here. I'll do it on Patreon. I'll get to them individually.

But they're asking, like, what our chain is through the mics all the way to the board and how it gets to the – Oh, sure. To OBS for the video. And it's a technical question that I know you're already glossing over. But, yeah, I mean, people want to know what what's happening we still have to do the walkthrough yeah that's what i was gonna say uh should we do that are we scheduled for the monday for the wednesday podcast did you talk to chad yeah chad will be here tomorrow i just need to figure out i think that's a that's a time to do a fucking walkthrough where... Well, if everything's cleaned up.

Yeah. And you still do have lawn furniture in your house. Yeah, but I don't give a fuck. No? No. No, I'm just wondering, like, what you put away. Like, you know, I don't want people to see that. I'd like to get that one table

that should be basically donated out of there that's underneath the video system. Oh, yeah. It's a big square huge table.

I don't even know how you got it in there. Yeah, you know, oh, oh, that table, yeah. I just,

I fucking needed space to write, but then I'm writing out here. So, yeah yeah we could do that uh we can do that tomorrow or anytime next week i still want to do the caravan yeah oh yeah we gotta find the good fuck with for that no can't we just go out yeah we can do that but it would be fun to do something that well how about a fucking block traffic in front of the grand like everyone's going to the grand for fucking takeout food we could do that with nine cars why don't you just order takeout food you're nine orders of fries are you is anyone why do you have to fuck with

everyone i don't understand what the what the problem is you're a very cranky man today. I told you, I had jambu earlier. No, I'm saying there's something aligned to this shady Dell to make it look like, oh shit, we should go to this, like make it a big deal. See, that's not a fuck with. It's a positive thing. Make a giant line. You did use the word fuck with.

Well, that was my Burger King idea. Just get all of the cars to make a complete circle in the drive-thru and keep going through so they can't get any real fucking business. That's the weed talking right there. No, no, that was my morning thought. You didn't say that last night because that is funny. No, that was my morning thought when I saw you in here this morning. Was all the ways we could not just take a caravan for fun but i thought that's what the do a fuck with well i'll fill up fill up the parking lot at morning's cafe and see

how many people think it's still open or beto's beto. We're just standing there in line. Like we're all waiting to go in. Six feet apart. Sorry, one in, one out. I got to ask Tracy a question. Did you confirm what you told me earlier today? I haven't been on where. Can you do that right now?

If you have to go up top to do it and then uh we'll uh we'll discuss my phone no she's uh just because there might be a reason to break news radio silence oh okay if it is then yeah i'm pretty fucking high yeah this is good i gotta but i i thought i i thought i did it early enough that i would be you don't want to be like deciding whether you're high when you're on the microphone but i guess if i was higher i'd still all right yeah i'd be the same todd glass this is fucking day two where he hasn't called me. I'm not going to call him. I don't want to.

This sounds like junior high politics all of a sudden. I'll tell you who I got five texts from today. I don't need to know. I don't know whether it's good or bad that all of a sudden Google Fi isn't getting me texts. Because I really – today was the first day. The last 24 hours is the first period of time where I'm like, what day is it? For other people, it happened earlier on. But I think it's because of having gone – having been out in Boise and stuff coming back.

I mean you were in quarantine for eight days before we got here. And yesterday was the day and today confirmed it. I'm like, can't be Friday. It's not Saturday. Sunday. Yeah. Shane Gillis called me. He left this morning.

He said, I'm just getting into Ohio now. And it's fucking empty. Like, the whole turnpike is empty. The whole drive is fucking no one. And I so wanted to be on that fucking road trip. Sorry. I wonder if anyone's doing a fucking road trip on purpose. We drove back from Boise, dude, and it was just semi-trailers. That's it.

And there were a couple cars here and there, but it's not like, I mean, coming down through Utah and everything and heading towards Vegas, usually there's a good amount of traffic. Well, I'm going to have to dump that bit. What's that? Truckers? Truckers part two. Yeah. have to dump that bit what's that truckers truckers part two yeah but i could probably still do that bit so shane shane gillis is coming so yeah he's said the fucking it's empty that's a

fucking buddy picture while you writers are all sitting out there fucking waiting to write again write that fucking coronavirus buddy movie pic so what's what's his status before he got on the road i mean how are we vetting this that he's been in quarantine pinky swear i mean what's going on we were talking before i mean we're bringing someone from the east coast yeah yeah but it was while we were talking about being quarantined that we even ventured the idea and like three different times over a you know a week or yeah i think i'm gonna do that but it was always at night and i'm like yeah you're gonna we're all gonna do stuff at night we always come

up with ideas at night and they never go anywhere yeah most of them don't, thank God. Yeah, when I got one at 11 in the morning, gonna do it. All right, let's fucking clean up the guest house. I do like that that got done. Mm-hmm. But we are introducing someone from all the way across the country into our compound here.

Yeah. Kind of like Officer Bob Friendly. Well, yeah. I mean, we don't know where. I mean, he's been at a distance. Yeah. Well, I mean, come on. What?

This room is probably maybe 20 feet across. It's 18 by 20. Yes. Yeah yeah i was just thinking about that today i'll forget why oh i've been thinking about redoing the bar or putting a fucking like redoing the bar like like where we're sitting right now this was built for people to watch football this is built like a sports bar in that you want everyone facing towards the bartender with the screens behind them. Right. Yeah. It's not good for socializing. And we've talked about making it in a horseshoe.

But I was thinking because the more shit we have for podcasting, the more I'm thinking the living room and then just make. Oh, we get some nice curtains. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All the movie theaters, they're all going out of business. What do you do with those curtains?

All right. Any more things? Oh, I got questions and stuff. I do want to say thank you everyone who Patreon and on the Patreon is patreon.com slash Stanhope podcast. Are you done? No, I was making a drink because our

bartender left. And Patreon is patreon.com slash Stanhope podcast. As little as a dollar a month. Thank you for everyone that's sending in their suggestions and gratitude for us doing this daily and uh well some people are up into five they're saying it's enough content that they they find their way to do that and i appreciate that the other thing is uh

if you want to get in touch with us about anything uh about the podcast the the daily podcast, just go to stanhopepodcast at gmail. And I got a couple Patreon things I want to go through. I'm still here if you can't see. I know. Oh, Doug, do you have any crazy documentaries that you can suggest?

The more out there, the better. And I just, right before I came up here, I saw one that I was going to ask you if you'd seen it. Well, everyone that we've ever talked about is, I mean, everyone we've seen, we've already mentioned. That's why I fucked up when I used to ask that on twitter is there any uh fucking good documentaries because because i was up to date on everything netflix ever you know put out new release and everything for years before but without prefacing that hey what what should i

watch on netflix fog of war uh the wild wild white whites of west virginia keeps coming up in my suggestions and i've already seen it keeps showing up i don't know okay so there's there's one uh called bombay beach that is just looks fucked up and i don't even know if i'm comfortable watching it but it's like out at the like the salt and sea type thing it's out there and it won a bunch of awards at uh during they was one of these uh documentaries that did all the film festivals and shit bombay beach and another one is honey boy which is uh shia labouf playing his dad oh that's not a documentary no but but that one also came up in the thing and i and that's how i found bombay beach so i figured they probably both fucked up

the the honey boy thing i definitely i'm definitely gonna watch that one the bombay beach thing seems like like i wouldn't do it high it's so fucked it's like slab city type people and slab city yeah yeah i'm guessing i've probably seen it i don't know unless it came out today this looks like something that would scar you there's a young kid who's clearly has mental issues and mommy's telling him don't let anyone tell you you're crazy and she's pouring out all these pills for him to take. Don't let anyone ever tell you. Now take them all. Oh, was it Raider?

Who was it? I don't know. I need more info. Who picked up Bingo's meds for her? Oh, yeah. It had to be Raider. Yeah, my memory's shit, but it's like, wow, that's a lot of meds.

Or was that a different conversation with someone else about their meds? I don't know. Please look after... Shannon says, please look after Doug. Maybe ration his cigarettes don't let him lick any more door handles and try to limit the tongue kissing that's our shannon he's my favorite cantankerous misanthrope and i don't want him to die well yeah i wonder is shanna still

working i don't know if this is her oh not by the picture She's given us quite a description. I know. You could use whatever picture you want, I guess. Well, you know the Shannon I'm talking about. She's working like the dollar store. Yeah. Yeah. Frontline.

Yeah. Send me a... I can't check my fucking email. But yeah, send it to... What's your email for this? Stanhopepodcast at gmail.com yeah i always she she keeps me updated here and again i like it um trying to oh you're trying to pull up questions well i got them but then some of these are real

long and i'll if you if you sent me a long one i'll just answer you offline um okay i wouldn't okay kristen says i wouldn't join for some paltry dollar so you've got me for the five for oh when you said i wouldn't join i thought oh wait yeah i talked about starting a cult and then all of a sudden, I had my first rejection letter. That says, I found you guys through issues with Andy. How's that for Bassack words? Thank you, Kristen. We'll do one more.

We'll do one more from Bill. Come on, grapefruit. That's not a good question. You're out of grapefruit. I'm going to have to go to cranberry. I'm drinking Bingo's Landshark beer. Oh, yeah. Oh, it turns out that Landshark beer was from the neighbor across the street in Two Down.

As I was walking the dog past, he goes, hey, Doug, I left some beer for you. Yeah, I just got that through channels. Bingo's not up on the details on her thing bingo does want to do the skype i don't think she has the skype or the ability to figure out she has i don't even know if her laptop is working i think she has skype i remember doing it before setting it up for her so let's see if there's anything new in uh okay yeah so we mentioned that thing about uh people do the comics doing uh uh the comedy set like as in their living room or whatever yeah yeah and i was specifically talking about maria bamford had troubles with zoom when she first started and that was what

i was commenting on and i don't understand like how that like it's just a monologue basically with no laugh track no applause no no nothing but maria bamford is still doing it and i guess they worked it out and it's uh it's a behind a paywall so it's happening it's out there i don't mean to shit on everyone trying to do something fun all right i just said drink drambuie so relax everyone i got some tweets about it too hey man everyone's doing this it's like that doesn't mean it's good everyone's doing slavery yeah finally some chaley without an attitude uh uh what was i gonna say uh yeah bamford there's people that can pull that off yeah uh hedberg could have fucking you could watch hedberg on a fucking zoom and yeah i mean we tell hedberg jokes to each other that we know and laugh so so and bamford is so fucking peculiarly adept at everything in comedy.

Her Lady Dynamite was so good. You watched that, right? One of the channels. Yeah. Maybe it was IFC. Lady Dynamite was, I think they did two seasons. No, I think it was Netflix. Was it?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's very good. Everything she does very good. Everything she does is good. I remember she was playing Austin once, and I was banned from the club still at that point. So I just said she was, and I had the night off, and she was playing there. So I'm like fuck yeah and i remember her being like there's a middle ground you hit or i did where you just expect to get in for free uh you mean in uh notoriety or celebrity comedy club yeah and uh and maria banford was at that middle ground where I go, yeah, I'm paying to see the show.

You're worth paying to see the show. Like, I could have got in free, but I didn't want to. And now I'm like, I can never fucking get into a show for free. I pay the fucking. I mean, unless it's someone I'm just there to say hi to and I don't want to be at the show. You got really pissed at me one time we were in new york on an off night we were sitting out front well we started we went down to the comedy cellar and we start to go in there and it's like there's a cover charge or

something and you're in front and they don't they didn't recognize you and you start to turn around i go no i'll get i'll get us in there are you kidding me you're like get the to turn around. I go, no, I'll get us in there. Are you kidding me? You're like, get the fuck, turn around. And we walked right back up the steps and then sat on those fucking wrought iron patio furniture out front. Where was this? We waited for like Mike D, I think, D Stefano to show up. And he never did. Yeah. You got mad because I was going to like, well, I'll just mention it. And you're like, turn around.

We're leaving. If that's New York City, there's probably a fucking $20 ticket for 20 ticket for or whatever it was but you didn't even want me to try maybe i was gonna pay doug what is what am i looking for all the time that'll work oh yeah sorry i'm having a great time in my head but it's i'm not giggly high like last time you never know what the fuck this stuff is gonna do to you hey what should we uh oh you have more yeah i got more anytime you get to a lull or a feel good i'll do something we still have to cut your hair and that's what uh steve massey has uh has a suggestion can you run you run the new bathroom? They're charging. I thought maybe we should charge them.

And then I knew I'd forget and send you in the middle of the podcast. I absolutely knew this was going to happen. So keep a train of thought for fucking six hours. So Steve has suggested update the graphic for the 30 days news blackout. The graphic we have. right you've seen it yeah that's a you question no i'm telling you update the graphic with the disheveled doug with the crazy hair and face mask looking looking half cut so i do like that idea face mask right here somewhere i i stashed him because she's because she's working on this side tomorrow.

I didn't want there to be a problem. I don't want anyone to not work because they think they're going to get me mad by moving things. I want anyone who's willing to work to be able to just go for it. Thank you for giving me work. I didn't want to have to do a gas station or a fucking Safeway. I thought I'd just apply at Safeway. And then I thought, how many people do we know that fucking need work constantly that have not applied at Safeway? Every one of them.

Fucking Castle Rock, Kenny. Let's get a lot of work. This was before any kind of virus shut down. This was, he got fired. He just gets straight up fired. And then I saw in the Bisbee Observer that the Dairy Queen was hiring for like 12 bucks an hour or something. Like, really? Yeah.

I don't know. I saw that too. And I was like, 12 bucks an hour? And it's across the street from his house. There's no grill there. It's just soft serve and dilly bars yeah and it's across the street from his house it's literally a two minute walk from his house i'm like yeah why don't you i'm not worried i'm too old to work at dairy queen like not if they're fucking paying 12 bucks an hour to anyone who is that kenny when he wouldn't oh my god 12 bucks an hour for kenny jesus yeah yeah there's a fucking

i mean i i would work a safe way yeah i've i've worked plenty of jobs where like i like i like doing things i mean you get mad at me all the time for it, but I like to have something to do. But I wouldn't feel like the difference between working at Safeway or working anywhere else in this town would make a difference. But Kenny was definitely fucking the uniform. He's got enough people shitting on him. He's not going to put on a Dairy Queen uniform as a target.

But we wear them. We buy them at thrift stores. We wear a 7-Eleven. Even Gump worked for four days at Safeway. Jesus. Waiting for that to come up. I got one here from Corey Dobbs. Yeah.

Greg, Doug, and Tracy, thank you for continuing to put out daily content during these crazy times. I've been listening weekly for going on two years. On Tuesday last week, my wife went down hard with illness and was confirmed with COVID a couple days later. was confirmed with COVID a couple days later. Since then, I've been isolating completely alone with my six-year-old, three-year-old, and four-month-old since Tuesday. Tuning into this podcast after their bedtime has managed to be my last grip on sanity. If that sounds shocking to you, it does to me, too.

No, it is. Well, I wish he included their names so we could just record a quick thing and then say good morning, good morning, good morning to your kids that you have to wait till they go to bed. And then one day they'll know who you were listening to, like finding Playboys under the mattress. I had some other stuff about Olivia and going to the grocery store on solo trips with masks and bleach wipe downs and leaving things outside. We took the same precautions and it still got to us. So they're more than likely doomed to. I can't think of it. Oh, wait, did you just say, fortunately,

Olivia doesn't like read my books, listen to the podcast. So, but if you're saying that you did everything she's doing and you you're you're still dying of it well he said yeah he's he did all this he seemed pretty i mean he has three kids and a wife i mean i think it it comes across here that he was pretty diligent but i'm she's still not i'm putting in that they're also dying can i get one more drink please case olivia does listen to this thank you for all that you do a patreon subscription hasn't been in the cards for me yet but i plan on pay patronizing at the five dollar level oh it's breaking my heart. Hey, Corey, I'll send you a link to get a couple of these for free. Why?

He's not having to spend any money. He's in quarantine. He's not out at the fucking big lots buying, oh, you can get cheesy puffs and fucking five gallons. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send him this one. You can't take it with you, is what I'm saying.

So thanks for... Actually, you can probably do 25. Thanks, Corey, and hang in there, man. And I hope everything works out okay. Anything from Todd Glass? I'm looking. I'm not seeing anything. I'll do a search. No, no. I'm talking I'm looking. I'm not seeing anything. I'll do a search.

No, no. I'm talking about my phone. I was talking to Tracy. Not yet. I should really... I should make the first move. I think you should play hard to get at this point. Alright. Did you find out anything about the

thing I asked you to look into? All right, we'll just wait then. That was one of my favorite dice jokes. Some guys play hard to get, I play hard to want. That's good for now. I mean, from what I've gotten here, I think I've gotten back down. Did I probably not finish it? Well, that's, uh, I mean, from what I've gotten here, I think I've gotten back down. Did I probably not finish it?

Oh, I was going to, that's what I was going to say is, uh, what should we stock up Shane Gillis's guest house with? I called him. I go, what's your, what's your, uh, like your, your booze of choice, anything, whatever you got. No, no. He drinks, right? He had beer.

We were in Harrisburg PA when he was there and we did the podcast and I think I only had beer backstage for him. No, he was only drinking beer because he had to drive. Oh, that's right. Then we went to that other club where you could smoke. Remember that place?

Yeah, I think we talked him into getting an Uber. Oh, no, the upstairs Irish bar where you could smoke and don't give a fuck yeah that was fun it's very smoky i do remember how smoky it was uh well the smoke in here that's dripping off the walls will be gone tomorrow because of our maid. Her decision. You remember the last person that washed the walls in here? In here?

Mm-hmm. She brought him up today. Whatever happened to that guy? I had no idea. She had to keep going. The only one. Charlie Carter. Yeah, I was going to say, the only one with any kind of energy level would be Charlie Carter. Charlie the Intern.

I was telling her how hard it was to look at him because he was always so jacked on Adderall with that little lizard tongue. Dude, I had someone. You hired him to come out here and then left. And then I was left here with him. And we had a blast. He helped me put in some of the lawn down there, the artificial turf. I mean, he goes, show me where to dig the holes. So I just put a fucking marker on the ground.

He'd dig the holes and do all. He did anything that I asked the first time. It was just completely ineffective for business purposes. You could dig a hole. He couldn't even drive us. That was the problem. Yeah, that was. He couldn't drive after like two or three. Because he was willing to drive drunk. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not what we do here. Nope. The reason I'm drinking right now, Charlie, is because you were driving us. He's like, I can drive. I go, we're not going anywhere right now. Because you've been drinking the whole time since like noon, but you were supposed to drive tonight.

So yeah, we had to stop that. I got news of someone that has coronavirus because I fucking turned, now I have to fucking not even turn on my fucking old phone. Oh, yeah. Emery, Emery. Oh, I saw that. Is it a joke? Well, he faked being in a wheelchair for a year.

Yeah. A year? Yeah. Oh, Emery commits. That's... Yeah, yeah. That's good. But he's giving me conflicting stories,

whether he did it to fuck with Inman specifically or... I don't know. Who knows with Emery? That's kind of the beauty of him. The first thing I saw was the picture with him driving with the mask on. All he said was, hey, I got the coronavirus, if you can get tested. Asymptomatic, so he's not showing signs. It was a text.

I didn't. I just, like, the part I didn't want to know was in the subject before. So, yeah. I think it was on Twitter. Because texts, that's not really a trusted source. But he had it right in the subject. And I'm like, I, that's not really a trusted source. So I, but he had it right in the subject. And I'm like, ah,

fuck. I mean, you should look at something like that. There's, there's not, there's very few things. There's going to be some shit. I find out.

Don't matter. It's going to be the big picture. Uh, yeah, that's it. Do we have done we're wrapped up bingo we gotta get some fucking bingo wants to be on the skype button and then we have to figure out how to get her on skype which means going into her house which we can't do no if she can put it on on the laptop then that's not a problem yeah no no she can do it on her phone she can have she can put it on the laptop, then that's not a problem. Yeah. No, she can do it on her phone.

She can hold her phone up. I asked her, and she goes, I think I know, but I don't know how. She's going to be as bad as me or worse. She has what back? Yeah, that's different. No, I could probably do it. If this was really short, I think it should be shorter. I think I should have got to my non points quicker, but I'm smiling.

I hope wherever you're sitting, you're smiling. I hope you can milk this for all it's worth. Milk what? The whole fucking. Taking time off and milk what? the whole fucking taking time off and yeah the whole change of fucking plans for the

world the world you're part of it you're part of ours I'm glad we could be part of yours hey bingo take us out

from across the street okay bye bye now us out from across the street. Okay, bye-bye now. we're live we're back god damn it i i have to start shaving my head at the beginning because i always forget all right, here's a new chunk for you. I'm going to dedicate this chunk of haircut across, across, across. What?

There's already one across. It's going up from the one that's across. Alright. Clean it up. Alright, there you go. That's my haircut. It's a wonder that my neighbors do talk to me when I'm walking my dog. I forget I'm wearing this.

Oh, wait. Oh, you have to do another goodbye? No, just say goodbye. All right, bye-bye now.