The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#376: James Inman On The Line (Day 12 - Stanhope's 30 Day News Blackout)

Episode Date: April 15, 2020

Doug gets podcast listener favorite James Inman on the line and that was the beginning of the end.Get a BONUS episode each month through a Doug Stanhope Podcast subscription through Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast . ALL levels of support will get direct message access to the podcast and instant access to a Bonus episode every month plus all past BONUS episodes. Any level of support is appreciated. Thanks again as your subscription helps keep this podcast going. Patreon page - (https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast).Recorded April 14th, 2020 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), James Inman (@_james_inman), Ms. Tracey (@egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.2020 tour dates are already up on the website. Don't find out too late about an upcoming performance in your area. Get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/LINKS -The UnBookables movie - http://www.theunbookablesmovie.com/Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantPhoto Credit Brian HenniganSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast oh hold on do we have james inman or not not yet he's not answering his skype although he just he just answered on the chat feature he oh let's just read him let's just read james inman you just text us and we'll we'll maybe we could get uh like alex to come in and act out the part of inman by reading his text messages. We could do that. Why don't we just have fake Inman? It's not hard to do an Inman. Are you guys fucking with me? I don't like it.

That was the one thing when we were driving to a gig one time. I'll Phil Hendry the whole fucking podcast. Oh, let's get Phil Hendry. No shit. That'd be fun. Well, let me just try and hit him up one more oh i'll try the phone thing i tried the video and he didn't answer i wish two of us were like if tracy was good at this she could be trying to pull up inman while i just tell you about my

fucking oh there's that cat i i I didn't want the cat in, but then I think all those fucking gnats are going to eat his head. We have a plague of gnats. Sorry, I just... Now I'm already confused because we just talked to Olivia Grace doing sound checks.

And I'm already within seconds thinking, did we already say this on the podcast or is that five seconds ago talking to Olivia Grace? But yeah, we have a plague of gnats because the wind died, and it looks like fucking snow flurries outside. Just going out to piss. They're like all over your head,

and you go, do I just let my dick free and slap my face repeatedly with both hands? Or do I one hand the dick? You have to understand we piss in a urinal based over a fence towards another street set down. So when you piss at the urinal, you just look like a fucking creepy Kilroy guy staring over a fence. And if you are standing there and just repeatedly hitting your face like a fucking baboon

because of the plague of fucking gnats, you'd want to yell out to the person, it's okay, I'm pissing. Most of us are around the same height,

so your nose is like right at the fence line. at the end of that fucking word, Chaley. What? Height. It's not height. So your nose is like right at the fence line. There's no H at the end of that fucking word, Chaley. What? Height. It's not height. It's not like width.

Did you say height? I said height. You said height. Height. We're at the same height. There's no th. There's width. Oh.

Well, now I have to call him from a block number because I'm not giving fucking Inman my number. Give him my number. Use my... Well, no. No, just fucking Inman my number. Give him my number. Use my... Well, no. No, just fucking...

Star 67 still works. What are you, ahead of the times? All right. And don't put it on speaker. No. God, I get fucking edgy like you you've been perfect it sounds good oh yeah i got it yeah in both ears good it was that fucking cable expensive cable is the shit one i'm not picking up a block number hello oh there you are yeah i had a block my number for you james because i you know you sometimes you abuse the privilege no i just call your old number you just fucking

yeah and you think that you would just call uh my old number if you had this number the golden phone the platinum phone i would do whatever you tell me to do get on Skype I am on Skype you called and your audio's not working my audio's working do you want me to call you? I'll call you again

alright go ahead call again cause a series of fuck ups can only help this podcast ok try them again James Because a series of fuck-ups can only help this podcast. Okay. Try them again, James. I love James Inman. What the fuck? Stan Ho podcast.

Maybe we can get that fucking monitor on a lazy Susan. I know. There's no answer. What? Hold on. You're still on the phone? I thought you hung up to get on the Skype. No, I got two lines here.

I got an internet and a mobile phone. Ooh. Yeah. All right, go ahead. Go ahead and do the Skype again, and I'll accept it. Okay. See, if I was Inman, I'd already think that we were fucking with him that his skype isn't you are yeah you already are but shaley he's got shit fucked up all right so can you see perfect i can't hear you can you hear me i can hear you wait i think we're hearing him through

the phone though the thing that, I'm not hearing you. No, no, we got it. James, why don't you just come out? Ah, fuck. Something's up. The call ended. How come? No, hold on.

Hold on, we'll turn it around. Yeah, why don't, James, why don't you just get on a bus and come out? There you are. Yeah, but there's something wrong with his microphone. Oh, your microphone's all fucked up, James. Sorry. Hold on, I'll get it over there so you look a little bit like elvis costello can you hear me james nod or something looks sad nailed it

let's just go to james Let's just go to Kansas City. Have him call in with the phone. We can use the audio off the phone and the Skype. It links up. Can you hear either of us, James? Nod. Nope. All right, let me try

fucking calling him again. I mean, I've done this with Andy so many times. It's on his end. Wait, does he have a goat? What was that? Is that a goat in the background? Now he's mad. Yeah.

I got my microphone working. I got my audio working and my videos working. Great. Just stay on the phone. Just keep the phone near your face and we'll conduct it this way. Can you see me? No, you can't. You mean you can't get your Skype working?

He's saying there's no delay with Skype. Why do you fuck up everything, James? I'm not fucking this up. I fucking run 15 websites. I got a goddamn quad-core i7 and 12 terabytes of hard drive space. But you can't sit in a fucking chair doing a Skype interview?

I got 32 gigs of RAM, bitch. It looks like you have a RAM on your bed. Was that a fucking, what kind of animal just jumped on your futon? Oh, that's a, I'm trying to do some maintenance around the house. This is a. Oh, that's a goat that eats your garbage? No, Brenda's got a, she's got a goddamn mannequin that I'm trying to fix. She busted this mannequin.

No, there was some tailless animal that just jumped up on your futon. That's my dog, Arlo. Oh. Yeah. How is this audio not working? Your phone's working. Yeah, but... James,

listen, you've done all but beg and pay me to be on the fucking podcast and you just... Oh, God, don't even start with me. I don't even know. This is bullshit. Don't even start the bullshit.

I know you're starting the bullshit right now because I'm your number one guest alright Shaylee's already told me that

I never said that cause if all you have to do is look I'll find the tweet the number one is Fat Mike and Burt Kreischer

is right on right he's number one now because he hasn't had me on in a while but don't even he's

I don't want to do this podcast until you get Skype running. None of this is being recorded. None of this better be recorded. I agree with you, James. I don't want to do this interview until Skype's working and then Nickelback. All right, let me see if it's on my end. All right?

Oh, I thought it absolutely was not your end. Well, I'm like, you could never be for sure about anything, actually. Yeah. Chaley runs 18 websites and has 60,000 gigabytes of RAMs. So, is Mishka on? Oh, hang on. Here's Mishka.? Oh, hang on.

Here's Mishka. Can we put you on hold? Hang on. Can you hear Mishka? See, Mishka's working fine. I can't even see Mishka. Oh, come on. Come on.

She's fucking with us, dude. Grow up, James. Learn how to use a computer. I'm not fucking with you. This is... Fuck, I used Zoom and I had no problems whatsoever I was the one who actually got you your first computer and 20 years later

I got I got you your first computer you fucking changed history you're like Forrest in 1984 you always rewrite history You, your first computer. You fucking changed history. You're like Forrest in 1984. You always rewrite history. God damn.

I'm just copying my answers. Is this your first interview? No. Actually, I did the drink and the beer blowjob joke before you did at Open Mic Bitty. Gloves are off. I literally did that joke at open mic, but I stopped doing it because I thought somebody else was doing it.

Yeah, you were right. You did it the best. I mean, you were the best at it because you shook the beer up and you fucking made it spurt. I don't know. You got more laughs on it than I did. I did milk that bit for many a year, James Inman.

It was the good old days. Before I was well known and people came to see new materials. You still live in that world. You exist in this golden age of comedy where no one's coming to see you, so you can just repeat the exact same bits for 20, 30 years. I don't do that. I've been doing improv for the past 20, 30 years. I think all of the jokes that are on my CD I wrote on stage.

Yeah, I may repeat a joke if I'm in the middle of something and I think about it, but I don't, my creative process is totally different from yours. I just go on stage and I talk off the top of my head. That's what I've been doing. Yeah, that's why a lot of other comedians actually write that shit down and make sure it's funny before it comes to

the... Yeah, if it's funny, I'll do it again. If it's funny, it turns into a bit. And so you don't have... I can't believe this is not working. Speakers, real tech, high-definition audio. Are you on a Dell? I'm... I can play music coming out of this.

All right, let me go to Skype settings again, but... Oh, that was a good burn, Mishka. Mishishka is crashing you and you're missing that's not hey that's not cool dude i gotta stand up for for james dial it back yeah this is you don't have mishka on it it's like you can't even get me working right this is stupid I mean My microphone is working Wait It's working fine On our end I do this Alright

Here we go With a little podcast Called Issues with Andrew Alright hold on Oh Alright We've got a problem here We've got a

It's on my end Inman we have a problem Oh Inman's finally admitting That he's wrong No he's admitting Shaley's right. Yeah. Default communication. We don't want to use

that default communication device. Should we do a commercial now while you... Alright. I think that's it. That's the test audio on Skype. All right. So do we have Inman?

Nope. No Inman. He's just raised his arms and went, what the fuck? He should just use his... Inman, can you hear us? Is there a mute button? No his... Can you hear us? No, he can't hear us until he gets his speakers, microphone, and...

We're going to have to buy him all that shit. Yeah. Can you see me? Hey, can you see me? He can see you. He can see you. Should we write questions on a tablet and then just hold it up?

Paper? Oh, fucking. Oh, no. If you can't hear me, I can give up the whole Mishkas on the other Skype gag. Actually, maybe this works. This was funny, listeners, that we all had kind of a logy day here. And I go, uh, Inman,

I don't have anything, a new, anything new to fuck with Inman about or how to wind them up. Cause I don't know what his life has been like, but just like Chaley said, we'll fall right into it. And we already have. We're lip reading with Inman.

I don't even, I don't even know if listeners listeners get video yet i don't i have no idea what goes on no everyone's getting video yeah yeah oh is that fixed yeah no and what no not him i'm talking about us uh here let me switch well he's asking he keeps asking can you hear me now no you just need to look it was working before with you calling him on the phone because i got bluetooth into the board call him back call him back. It worked fine. Why he doesn't think it's working just because one component on his end isn't is just beyond me. I'm calling.

I'm calling on your phone. Oh, good. Now we lost. Now I get him on the phone and I lost the video. Okay. I can hear you guys now. Can you hear me? Yeah.

It's on a phone and you hung the video. Okay, I can hear you guys now. Can you hear me? Yeah, it's on a phone and you hung up on... Okay, well I'm going to call again because I... Okay. I got it. Can you hear me now? Yeah, I can hear you.

Can you hear him? I can hear you. Alright. Oh, no, you hung up the phone. Can you hear him? I can hear you. All right. Oh, no, you hung up the phone. He can only hear you on the phone. Do not hang up. Yeah, call me back on my blocked number. Fucking Jesus.

Do not hang up Skype. That's the video portion. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What if he puts his phone on speaker? That's fine. This is... Try putting your phone on speaker

and sitting in front of the fucking camera. What do you keep going... My microphone is working. Here, let me... Let me try this. Fucking... I think we're going to do a whole podcast. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? My microphone is working. it is. I think we're going to do a whole podcast.

Can you hear me? What the fuck is that? I think he's in a submarine. Alright, hold on. We'll just hold here. No, I... Can you hear me now? You look pretty I... Can you hear me now? You look pretty good. Can you hear me now?

No, I can hear you on the phone. Yes. Yeah, on the phone. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Oh, my God, I don't believe this. Can you hear me now? Yeah, we can still hear you

because we're on the phone together. The phone is synced up with the Bluetooth. But keep Skype on because we have the video. It's working fine on this end. Yeah, so let's just do it like this. We're almost out of time. No, it's going to suck like this. Hold on.

It's just a matter of somehow. Only if you plan on juggling. No. Shaylee, I think your system is too complex. For you? No, I have a simple system.

I know exactly what's going on here. I think you've got nine million things plugged in and that's why it's not working. Our director is telling us to wrap it up and the PAs are... Hang on. You don't have a director. Alright, I've got your

audio. So fix your mic now. My mic is working and you can test it in Skype settings. I don't... Alright, great. Let's start the interview. All right, we're

going to start... Okay. We're just going to cut all that stuff out. Yeah, on a mobile phone. Just because you can't get the audio running. Yeah, I hear a lot of echo. Are you in a basketball court? Are you in a gymnasium? There's a lot of echo.

I can't... Check your settings. Because I have to start... court? Are you in a gymnasium? It's a lot of echo. I turned it back because my stereo audio is working, my microphone is working, my video is working, and my phone is working. That's a pretty big speaker in the background. Did you buy that? Did you buy that speaker from a guy

in a van? Did that fall off a truck? Somehow a guy... Are that fall off a truck? Somehow, a guy... Are you listening, Jamie? I'm listening. I can hear everything, James. It's so complicated on this end that I can hear everything you're doing. I can hear Doug, I can hear Tracy, I can see you. Well, somehow you don't have your microphones working with your Skype. Can you hear me? No, not your Skype. Can you hear me?

No, not from Skype. You can answer the question, but you can't hear me. You just assumed I asked you a question. Well, what specifically are you asking? Are you asking, can I hear you from Skype? No. Can I hear you from the mobile phone? Yeah.

Is that giant speaker a rent to own? I built those speakers. They bots and acoustics oh you built them you mean you you read the directions when you bought them from a guy in a van you're starting off lame we're trying to make fun of me about lame shit no because i'm looking at a speaker where I should see your face. See, that was my point. Oh. Oh, that was. So you're wrong twice. I have to.

No, I have to figure out your fucking innuendo or some kind of complicated cryptography. Yeah, you don't leave. No, anything is not right. I can't believe Shaley can't get his goddamn microphone working for Skype. You can go into settings and see if your microphone is working. Mishka is still working fine, and Mishka keeps rolling his eyes like he's going to hang up on this podcast. I don't blame him. I mean, I wouldn't blame him.

Okay, so, Shaley, go into your Skype settings and see what it looks like. What is your microphone doing? Well, the levels are bouncing. The speaker and the microphone levels are bouncing. They're all going through our road uh pro uh procaster board uh everything's working like it's worked the other couple times we've done it uh we've also have you done it with other people yeah with skype oh you have yeah and they can hear you uh well yeah we've we've uh does this twice a week with issues with andy yeah and he says every week for the first several,

Andy was as much of a fuck-up as you. Well, that was only for 15 minutes. This is surpassed. You're dumber than Andy. When we do our review of potential guests on Issues with Andy, this always comes up. How can we make sure that we don't have anyone to

figure out with Andy's issues? And if Andy's issues are the star of the show, then we can't have anyone... I got a million things to talk about. Yeah, we can talk about how you guys fucking started making fun of...

Go, go, Go, go. Actually, I'd rather you fucking learn how to make your shit work. Why don't you tell Doug to get out of the room so he can think straight, and you and I can both get this done. Because all that has to happen is we just got to hear, I just got to hear your audio from Skype. Did a cat attack your sweatshirt? Because there's a lot of holes in that

sorry i was talking to your belly and not your face but yeah it's hard to do three things at once so my yeti microphone is working um my i don't know why why is there who's what who's open mic website do you fucking run that You don't know how to do this by now. He pulled the phone down, put the phone in speaker. No, put it in speaker. Then you can just lay the phone down.

Yeah. All right. Perfect. Okay. So, um, I got my, I'm going into setting and and my settings say that...

I can't hear you very well. My microphone's working. All my audio's working, so let's try again. Yeah, get your speakerphone on your phone. I think he just hung up on us. He hung up on the phone part, but we still get the video. He sits there when he has no audio, but then he stands up when he's talking on the phone.

So that was James Inman. That was a nice conversation. I didn't want to do a long podcast today. Let me tell you about my day, Chaley. Do you want to keep him on as long as yeah no i'm where's the camera oh yeah yes that's you i'm giving them the one second we're working this out so yeah there's a there was some scuttlebutt on hazard when i was walking the dog this morning there's three cops down three houses you know where a neighbor dave used to live yeah

three houses down there's three cop, and they're talking to the... Hang on, James. We'll be with you. And they were in there, and then I get done walking the dog, and Bingo and I took a drive like we did with Olivia Grace, like in separate cars on speakerphone, and drove around seeing all the fucking desolation. And then we came back through and the cops were

like a couple houses up like asking questions at different doors like they were house to house and then a helicopter this time i saw the fucking thing uh was circling over the ballpark like they're looking for someone like two blocks from here yeah yeah they're fucking tracking people down like a manhunt thing seems like it that's why i hate that officer bob friendly is now a senator or whatever we call him yeah i can't i can't find out any news can't get the local police beat i'm allowed police beat i've eschewed it but hang on j James. And then my housekeeper, she washed down all the nicotine off of these fucking beautiful green walls. Can you see the difference?

And then she goes, and what was next? The bathrooms in the main house? And I go, yeah. And I go, oh, I get a diarrhea. So I should do that now while she's in the fun house. You said that out loud?

No, I thought that. And then I went and I diarrhea-ed. And within minutes, she came in. Okay, what? And I fucking, you know, the toilet has the two buttons, one for pee, one for poop. I hit both. It's a water efficient.

Yeah, I hit both. And then she walked in. Oh, is this this bathroom? And then she goes, oh, who didn't flush? All right. Like, that would be funny if it was you or tracy but this is a fucking kid 22 year old kid that's happy and i like oh i didn't say anything i wasn't drinking yet oh like it was someone else you're in there it's you i act like i didn't hear her even though she's five feet away from me, as I'm trying to read a book. I sat down to read a book.

Diarrhea will do that, too. Yeah. I let her while she was, and then I go, just do the other bathroom. Do you think he's going to call back on the phone? He can't. He's not doing anything to troubleshoot this. You understand? No. You guys. Oh, wait troubleshoot this. You understand? No.

You guys... Oh, wait. Oh, he's... Maybe he can hear us. Can you hear us, James? He's not responding to any time you say... Nod if you can hear us.

Nod up and down with your head. He said I can hear you. Well, he's not nodding up and down with his head. We need a lip reader. You can't follow simple fucking direction so simple fucking mishka already hung up i would never get him back he's booked solid

he's got the patreon yeah that's it i was gonna ask uh mishka about hey how do you talk to a 22 year old because when she's done with her fucking house cleaning then she starts chatting and i go i have nothing to say. And that's why I've been drinking earlier and earlier. Nickelback. Hey, for the record, Nickelback. Yeah. I guess I drunk dialed Nickelback last night.

And today he's like, so am I on the drunk dial list now? I'm honored. Speed dial. Yeah. Yeah. Short list. I forget what. Speed dial, yeah. Yeah. Short list. I forget what my Nickelback point was.

Well, you called him yesterday again, but he didn't answer. I think the point is when Nickelback is on, we can't have Inman fuck-ups. We could be talking to Mike Nickelback right now. Or Nickelback Mike. That's what you call him. That's how it's in my phone yeah uh yeah i knew fucking inman was gonna ruin this he fucked up the entire that unbookables thing that they were supposed to do in the at the comedy store yeah i know and they all say it happened they all know it didn't happen. Why, James Inman?

You know, when the corporate lawyers get involved, like Erickson goes, Shaylee, something's going on. And like the corporate lawyers are like, we can't do this. Because look, we don't like giving refunds. And we know what's going to happen. It's going to be a problem.

And I go, listen, I was the first one to say, be careful who you get in bed with on this one, Erickson. Because if this goes down like it's probably to, you're not going to look good. Everyone's getting stink on them. All right. James Inman is chugging drinks, and I'm worried for his health. I'm going to call him on my phone. Do we even know that he can hear us?

That's why I'm going to ask him. So everything's working but his microphone, but he swears that his microphone works i can hear you yes so if you can hear us why is it not your fault all right hold on the fucking echo okay look look i can hear you everything's working fine on my end now you could hear me before right right? Let me check my microphone. No, we could never hear you via Skype. Sorry. Don't start talking.

You're talking about the unbookables. You're trying to make fun of me, and it's like, yeah, if you want to start that shit, then make sure it's equal so we can all talk. You're making up shit. Then make your shit work. My shit is working my microphone is working then get fucking then get mishka get mishka because we had mishka so you tried mishka

and if that doesn't work that means all right that's a good troubleshoot all right what's mishka's uh name i don't i mean what mean, what's his... He just fucking hung up. He just hung up the Skype. But now, are you still on the phone? You hung up the Skype. Jesus. Oh, God. What's his caller saying?

What's his call? Fucking Mishka. I don't know. You're friends. You two are friends. I'm not friends with him. You're the one that said you were talking to him. Well, I don't run this production.

And if you're calling him, we can't call him at the same time. As far as I know. So why don't we do V8 where we can all four do it? I mean, I mean, Shelly, don't you do this with issues with Andy? Very successfully. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

So let's. And one of the issues with Andy is he doesn't know how to do this, but he can still make it work. This is an issue... I'm not. It's not my job to make it work. I've got my fucking shit working. Yeah, you have your phone working.

I've got my microphone working. I've got my fucking audio working. I've got my video working. You guys are just fucking with me. No, we're not fucking with you james i don't want to be here i have to do this every goddamn day and uh he just made more work i was just i was afraid that you were just going to start abusing me like you that's why i had to get a new phone because all you're do is tell me how other people... No, I rarely called you.

I rarely have ever called you. I can't fucking... Hey, Skype! Who uses Skype? Nobody uses Skype, Shaley. We could use fucking Google. Google? What's that?

Is that like Ask Jesus? Hey, James, what about the security issues with Zoom that were reported last week? Can you hear me now? Yeah. Yeah, we're talking. Okay, you can hear me now. Yeah, we're responding to you. That's one of the tells.

Oh, he just hung up. He has no fucking idea what's going on. Yeah, you hung up the phone. We only hear you on the phone. Why do you keep leaving? He keeps sabotaging this. James, call me back on the phone. Call him.

Just call me. I don't know. Why are you standing up? This is... Would you do this if you were on Conan? Would you just stand up where only your fucking gut is in the camera? There's no professionalism. Call me.

Can you hear me? Give me a call. Doug, when he gets on the phone, explain to him that the audio is coming through the phone fine. The video through Skype. I think he's watching porn. I think, yeah. I can see the reflection in his eyes. Something else up there.

God damn it. I'm going to have to piss again. I fucking walked out in those gnats. I've been hydrating. God damn it. I don't have to piss again. The big bottles. I keep trying to dodge Henry.

And she's not even under my feet anymore it's like when you sleep for yeah the cats in your fucking crook of your knee and you sleep like that like i can't roll over because i'm gonna crush the cat and then you wake up and realize that cat hasn't been here for fucking hours i got spina bifida and scoliosis and that fucking cat's gone. Like an S curve trying to sleep. I really wanted to talk to Inman. You know, there's so much going on in that guy's life. He's so interesting that I just, I think that if we had a chance to like put it out there,

I think people would understand. And I don't understand what's going on here because. Well, let's, he's because I can see him tapping away there trying to fix his fucking problems so why don't we read some ad copy hey James can you hear us nod up and down if you can hear us

nope now he's now he's hung up again and every time he does that I have to go back and I have to edit that because his fucking phone number is on there. Oh, no, that's all right. It's on his website. Oh, all right.

Well, actually, that was if his website even works. All right, hold on. I got to answer again. Here we go again, everyone. He hangs up Skype and then calls back and then puts his hands up in the air like, what are we doing wrong? Yeah, he just did it. Oh, now he can hear us. He couldn't hear us.

He can't. Oh, he's screaming. This is the issues with Andy thing. I think week three is that Andy kept assuming that everything was set up right, but he needed just to reboot his computer with everything plugged in. Did you try unplugging it? Is your computer powered on, James?

Turn on your computer. Let's check in with James one more time. Maybe we could... Oh, it's dialing. I'm dialing. I called you. None of his shit works. Yeah.

James, do you have anyone? You're in Kansas City, right? Yes, I'm in Kansas City. Okay, do you know anyone there? Because we want to reschedule this. Do you know anyone there that can work Skype or computers and stuff? Open mic. There's probably some.

Look, you're just fucking with me. Okay, just like Shaylee and Brent won't put me on issues with Andy. I just wanted to do it one time because I thought it was funny. I'm tired of you guys fucking with me. I can't believe I got my shit working. All we have to do is get Shaylee on the phone. He's got internet.

But you keep hanging up the phone. You keep hanging up the phone. Give the phone to Shaylee or tell Shaylee to pick up the phone when I call her. I'm on the line. You can hear him, right? Okay, so when you say on the line you're calling me you're doing skype from a mobile phone no no no okay so even i understand no speaker okay all right all right so when call me, you're calling my mobile phone.

Yes, yes. I have the internet. I'm plugged into the internet. Are you guys plugged into the internet? Yes, you are. You're using Skype. Oh, it's rhetorical. So, you should...

I don't understand how you can't have Skype video and Skype audio working. Yeah, it's weird. Why would you need to call me on a mobile phone? That's why we had Mishka on. Because your microphone is not working. I've got my microphone working. I've got two microphones. Oh, that's the problem.

I've got them both working. When I go into settings for Skype, I can test my microphone. My microphone is working. James, do you have two microphones on stage? No, you have one. One cancels the other one out. Yeah, it's probably... All right, hold on.

Is this your first time ever talking to another human being? Yeah, you know what? I'm actually... I'm going to go... All right, good. Go to pit. Go pit what i'm actually i'm gonna go all right good go to pit go pit i'm just gonna go straight to this is gonna be all uh inman no okay so shaley now that he's up out of the room okay we're both on the internet we both have skype right the audio and the video both go through the internet tube. Correct? Yes, that's very technical.

Okay. All right. Simplify. Yes. So, I've got my microphone working. I can test out my microphone right now. Do you want me to test out my microphone? Sure.

I'll test it. Okay. I'm going to test. What the fuck? Fuck. My microphone says in Skype it's working. What's the name of the microphone that you can select there? It's a Yeti microphone.

It's like one of those. What if you click down and what are your other options under microphone? Turn on your lights. Real tech, okay, real tech digital input, real tech high definition audio, stereo mix, real tech definition audio, microphone and soft virtual sound device. Computer. Is this a desktop computer? Hold on. Is this a desktop? This is a PC.

This is not a laptop. Try the Realtek. Okay, I'm trying Realtek right now. Microphone is not picking up any sound. I got that as a goddamn... God, it's nothing but... I'm going to go back here.

I'm going to turn on my Yeti microphone. No, no. That's not... A lot of people were looking forward to this podcast. Okay. Don't use that. I would say... Get out of line, are you?

I would say not use the Yeti because that's the only thing you've been plugged into. I would say, with my experience with Issues with Andy, is you would test some of the other microphones. Okay. I'm going to test another microphone. I'm going to test. Can you see me, James? Can you hear that?

Can you see me, James? Yes, I can see you. How about that microphone? How can we see you? How about that microphone? Can you hear that microphone? Shush, shush. Why is it so dark in there?

You can see me? I can't see you. People, they want to see you james what is it are you on dial up is that what it is okay what's that all right so i've tried different microphones um tried to i'll go in yeah i'm going i can go into windows uh settings or skype settings and change my microphone device you want to go on aol instant messenger james i was looking forward to this okay well i've got to have my... To hear your Realtek digital output recording microphone,

the Ansoff virtual sound device, no fucking... Listen, we're not going to go sit through a whole... How many is this? How's that? I'm not a fucking Indian call center. I'm an entertainer. I'm not going to help you with your fucking troubles because you have

never fucking learned how to use a computer. I'm an entertainer. I'm not going to help you with your fucking troubles because you have never fucking learned how to use a computer. I don't have troubles. Shaley doesn't have his ship running. I fucking got it working on my end. Shaley is not got it working. You've got to have lights on in your house, James. Pay the bill.

Dude, I think you guys are both doing this just to fuck with me, honestly. Well, that'd be a long way to go just to fuck with you, is to just fucking waste an entire podcast, because you can't even turn your watch on. Well, if this was so important, then Shaylee should have just got a hold of me earlier and said, let's test this out to see if everything's working.

Two days, you couldn't even figure out how to add us on Skype. Yeah, that's true. Who uses Skype? Everybody uses Zoom. No. No. Have you seen? All right, so.

Have you looked at the news? I have no idea. I haven't looked at the news. I haven't looked at the news, and I know Zoom is a fucking trouble spot. I know that's the fucking dangerous virus. I think you guys are just fucking with me. Yeah, well, that's what you always say. All right, hold on. Well, I mean, if you're not fucking with me,

then me and Shaylee can figure this out and we can do this. How hard can this be? It can't be that hard. Why can't you turn on a light? I'm not stupid, Shaylee. I run 15 websites. Name them. Okay? I wouldn't have said...aley. I've won 15 websites. Name them.

Okay? I've won the San Francisco. No, no, no. Listen. Listen to me. Shaley, I've won the San Francisco comedy competition. Because I cheated. I cheated.

I was a judge. I made you win. Right. So quit talking to me like I'm stupid. No, you're doing fine on your own. Turn on a light. Turn on the lights, Iman. The lights are on.

I don't fucking believe this. Turn the lights on. James, we're not fucking with you. This is you this time. What does it mean? Does it matter so much? Then why don't you just let me and Shaylee fix it? James, we're not fucking with you. This is you this time. What does it mean? Does it matter so much? Then why don't you just let me and Shaylee fix it?

Because obviously, we're both smart. We both run websites. We should be able to fix Skype. We got a microphone. We got the internet. All right. You're almost at an hour. Here we go.

Okay. I'm checking everything on my end. It all works. Now, check your end. All right. Okay. All right. I everything on my end. It all works. Now check your end. Okay, all right. I'll check my end. We're going through your internet history here. Can you hear me now? Yeah, on the phone. hear me now yeah on the phone all right hold on

i don't believe this he says the lights are on six watt fucking all right hold on god it's just you know well i'll figure out the lights. All right. Okay. All right. So, Sherry, you're using the mobile phone and you've got that plugged in. There you go. We're looping. There's something. I just hung up the phone.

Maybe his lights will come back on. Yeah. They draw from the same 9-volt. Test the 9-volt on your tongue and let's see if you've got power. Alright, well, James can't turn on the lights or the Skype now.

Do you think that it's light where you are? I don't know if he can hear us. I love that he's sitting in a lit room. Yeah. The fucking witches of Eastwick. Not witches of Eastwick. What's that fucking the... Blair Witch.

Blair Witch Project had better lighting. Oh. I love you, James. If you can hear me. We're going to have to wrap this up and reschedule for 2021 because we're booked out. We've got Todd Glass, Nickelback, Brendan Walsh, Morgan Murphy.

If we can slide him in, I'd sure like to work this out, but I think maybe if he could, you know, maybe contact one of the kids in the neighborhood. We'll probably have to wait until the virus is over and just get him, you know, live. Somewhere. We'll probably have to wait until the virus is over and just get them live.

Somewhere. We're overdue to play Kansas City anyway. We can... Oh, Barleycorns. Yeah. Yeah. That was nice. Wait, Barleycorns.

Was that Wichita? No, that's right. He had to drive to Barleycorns. Shaley, is your finger on? He had to... Oh, call my phone. That's my old phone number. Call my new phone.

That's my old phone number. Ding dong new phone. That's my old phone number. Ding dong. Oh, shit. He doesn't have that number. And I'm on a podcast. My phone is off. Yeah, you don't have your phone on during a podcast. Oh, we can see him again now.

He's shoving the camera right in our face. But, I mean, his cell phone. Look, we can see him again. But see, if he calls me. Someone turned on the light. If he calls me, it's not through the board. We don't get the audio. I don't think he understands what's going on.

So he should just call my phone? Oh. Hold on. I got to go guess. I'm pulling him full screen. He's full screen right now. All right. I got to call him.

I don't know why he keeps hanging up the phone when he knows that's the only audio that works. Shaley, what's your number? Yeah, he doesn't have his phone on. James, it's a podcast. He's a professional. Challenge him to turn his phone on. I have a number for him. I called. James it's a podcast he's a professional why don't I have a number for him I called

why would he turn his phone on because that's going to fuck you're fucking with me you're fucking with me if you don't want Shaley's phone on no it's a podcast he already set mine up with this whole podcast is you fucking with me

something is with Bluetooth. Yeah, this whole podcast is you fucking with me. Something is backing up. I think the power key is being electrocuted. You should turn that off. Look, I don't... I'm not speaking back. What's screeching? I think it's your speaker.

No, it's not. It's your speaker. It's your speaker. It's not my speaker. I got my's your speaker. No, it's not. It's your speaker. It's your speaker. It's not my speaker. I got my stereo turned off. I got my volume down. It's not mine. The speaker behind you that goes...

Your subwoofer there that you... Hey, look. Are you listening? Shaylee, you can't be telling me that you're running the fucking audio out of a goddamn mobile phone. How can you not get your audio working on the goddamn internet? You're fucking retarded.

And you won't give me your phone number so both of you are fucking with me. What's your number look like? I'm not stupid. I'm not stupid. James, I would never call you stupid. What does he fucking say? All right, well, give me Shaley's phone number.

I'll write it down right now. Well, I'll give you his old phone number, but that's in his luggage. We've got to fix this, you dumb fuck. All right, forget it. All right, language yeah all right he's he dropped the c-bomb i'm done with this yeah i've fucking worked i've worked so hard with james inman trying to fucking prepare him for things like this that i'm done you know what i've given you every opportunity james and, and all you do is bully me.

You fucking bully me, and you can't even sit in his goddamn chair during an interview. It's weird, right? Yeah, I don't get up and run around. I love that he thought the lights were on and was pitch black in his room. I know it's good.

He keeps claiming to call my phone. My phone's right here. It hasn't rung. It's on silent, but it hasn't rung the whole time. And you told him that I'm not going to answer it, even if he did have my number. I don't know why he doesn't... Like, just get a guide how to just use simple fucking technology.

Yeah, like Skype for super dummies yeah something simple like uh express vpn you know that that would help it couldn't hurt yeah all right well uh hey listen we tried to give you the best of james inman but what you got was james in, the reality behind the Inman. Yeah, this was a little sad. This was like behind the music. I'm going to have to crank up the old phone and call him. It's a rotary dial.

That's the number he has. Well, I mean. I enjoyed spending time with you, Chaley, and watching you persevere against all odds you did the best you can to I mean if I didn't have the past experience of the

other podcasts that we've been doing behind me like now he's gone more recently yeah that's fine but yeah you you know it it's it's a it's a it's a fickle mistress sometimes the internet there's ways to work around it but i i i totally recognize what is going on on his end and he just needs to take a breath and realize that that it's all he wants to do is blame me for ruining the internet.

And I might be part of it, but I'm not the whole reason. I'm calling him one more time to just say thanks for trying because he's not good at this stuff. And we knew that two days ago. Well, that's why he's never on issues. I'll tell you. Yeah.

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for giving it a shot. And, you know, you get. I didn't use the C word. You're fucking with me. Why were you guys fucking with me? We have sponsors, James. We can't be doing shit like that.

You're fucking with me again. No, no. Can't we just do a fucking podcast? We wrapped up the podcast, James. We're calling you to say... Okay, well, you're telling me that Shaley and I cannot figure out how to do this? Well, you couldn't for almost an hour. I can.

I'm not. You're just fucking with me because I've done 15 websites. I can fix shit. I build my own computer. You can't make fun of me, say I don't know how to run Skype you're doing this just to fuck with me listen you said no one uses Skype so you've never used it before

whatever I say a million things he's just inexperienced with the software look I don't yeah I get it I get the joke the joke is let's fuck with james yeah we've gone through that joke a million times let's just do a podcast we don't do an hour podcast of just

fucking with you yeah where's the pay oh my god all right look all right um you know yeah you're basically fucking with me is what you're doing I mean I don't know I don't understand every time you don't understand what's going on it's our fault for fucking with you you don't know how to do things it must be

us it's I'm working with you right now let me call you again because everything's working on my end I don't do two shows in a night son

what the fuck you're telling me you don't want to you're telling me Shaley and I can't figure this out tomorrow or the next day or the day after that it's been two days that you couldn't even figure out how to get on Skype. And we have other guests and we have to do it these daily. So, yeah, I can't just like we don't have a podcast.

What are you talking about? We don't have a podcast for tomorrow because you couldn't figure this shit out. And yes, I can figure it out. What do you mean? I can't figure it out. Yes, I can figure it out. What do you mean I can't figure it out? Yes, I can figure this out. I've spent an hour. I'm going back to doing the shit I have to do, like fucking write.

All right, we don't have to do it now, but I'm telling you, we can do that. That's what I'm asking you what January is like because we're booked up. You're booked up until January? Yes. You're booked up till January. Yes. You're just fucking with me. No, we do once a week.

It's going back to once a week. Everyone's available right now, James. That's the thing is the calendar fills up quick. Shaylee, you're just fucking with me. Just like you're fucking with me that you won't put me on issues with Andy. Just like you're fucking with me that you won't put me on issues with Andy. Just like you were fucking with me when I got the comedy.

I got that comedy store gig, by the way. That thing was really good to go on. How'd that go? It didn't work because of the coronavirus. Because of you. Oh, really? Yeah, you're out of your fucking mind. I got that.

How many dates did that change? I made one. How many dates? I made one, Funk. That was booked for before coronavirus. I did a show after the show. Are you jealous of me, Doug? No, you're not.

Are you jealous that I'm doing the comedy store? Why would you fuck up? Why would you fucking make fun of my show on your podcast? Why would you even do that? It's not funny. I never did. That show was going to go on. That was a real show.

Maybe if you would have paid for advertising with us, we could have promoted it. Are you lying? I get the joke. You like fucking with me. You think it's funny. But that was a real show. There's nothing funny about unprofessional podcasting,

and that's what I'm watching right here. Okay. All right. All right. I find it unprofessional, Shaley, that you didn't call me ahead of time just to make sure everything is working. Are we still on video if we were still podcasting?

Yeah. We could be, but he keeps hanging up the Skype. Oh, my God. Why should I hang up a mobile phone were still podcasting yeah we could be but he keeps hanging up the skype oh my god why should i hang up a mobile phone when you've got the internet the internet skype works on the internet the audio and video both go through the internet there should be no fucking reason why i'm on a mobile phone talking to you on skype well it's it's just a rarity that you on a mobile phone talking to you on Skype. Well, it's just a rarity that you have a mobile phone that we could fix the problems

you can't fix with the internet. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, it's the joke that you do all the time. It's your ongoing, endless joke. It doesn't seem funny to me. Yeah, it's getting old. Okay, so now, Shaley, you can't even fix your shit in your... There's nothing shooting back in my house.

I've got my stereo turned off. Yeah, you hear that looping, Doug? Yeah, I hear it. That's the mic. There's something on his end that's picking up the audio. Oh, there's... Yeah. How many dogs do you have?

That one has a tail. You have a goat. Okay. Hey, James, maybe we should talk when you're sober. I'm sober. I'm not drunk. I saw you chug an entire drink at the... I drank one beer.

I drank one beer. You drink vodka every day. I think it was a lot... you're just trying to fuck with me I haven't drank in over what's it's almost 8 months we're 12 we're 12

yeah right I think what was alarming was how fast you drank those beers yeah alright how about this why don't you just alright are we gonna do a podcast or not

because I was I was supposed to I lost money on my fucking plane ticket and those gigs I had out in California I was gonna meet you in I lost money on my fucking plane ticket and those gigs I had out in California. I was going to meet you in San Francisco and do a podcast in person.

We were supposed to do that. And you blew me off. You blew me off. That was my... I didn't blow you off. What are you talking about? You blew me off. But this is my coronavirus.

I did not blow you off. If I had my loser phone, I'd turn it on and I'd read exactly what you wrote to me. I can't make it. I'm scared of the virus, whatever. I'm sorry. That's why we didn't. Did you do the San Francisco show?

No, but I was there. I showed up because you were going to show up. That's why I showed up. I have text messages to prove it. You did not show up. I was there. I sat in a hotel room. John, we've got to hold on. The audio on his end is so bad.

We've got to hold on a second. Turn off the lights. I think the lights are giving us feedback. Are you wearing shoes? How is it that Shaley and I can't figure this out? Well, one of us did. Shaley figured it out. You can't.

I can't believe that Andy takes better instruction than James Inman. I know. Why is it that James Inman... Did you know I ran Andy's website for, I don't know, 10 years, probably? I built Andy's website and I don't know 10 years probably I built Andy's website and I ran it for him don't tell me I can't run Skype yeah you're fucking

with me Sherry and you think it's funny it's not funny I have fucking made a commitment for this whole 30 day news blackout and now I don't have a fucking podcast for tomorrow. Get your shit

together, James. I love you, but Okay, well let me just talk to Shaley. Shaley, pick up the phone. Shaley just walked out. I've been on the line the entire podcast, James. There's no reason for me to pick up the phone. Your shit isn't working. Everything's speaking back. Well

Not on this end. Do you want to try this with Zoom? Yeah, what's your platform of choice? Zoom! Everybody's using Zoom. Nobody's using Skype. All right, so Zoom, like January. Hold on, let me get the calendar.

Well, I'm just going to keep it. Yeah, this is the feedback. See, you're feeding back. I turned off Skype. is that feedback. Hey, you're feeding back. I turned off night. We're not feeding back. You're feeding back. It's you. It's your voice.

Unplug that speaker behind you. Doug, I think the second week of January, the 11th. Get your calendar for 2021. January 13th Looks good And if there's a dropout on the 20th We can do January 20th Wait 20th

January 20th That's not Marilyn Manson Oh Sorry I didn't get that Hey James We're going to have our people call your people Yeah alright Just have Shannon call me if you want Sky to work I didn't get that. Hey, James. We're going to have our people call your people.

Yeah, all right. Just have Shannon call me if you want Skype to work. I can help him do Skype over the phone. I'm giving him tech support. Obviously, he needs it. This could go for two hours. We should just shut it down. Yeah. Two hours.

I mean, come on. Shaylee, do you want me to call you to help you get your Skype working? Hold on a second. Are we good on January 13th, 5 p.m. Pacific time? It's Friday the 13th. I wouldn't do that. You're just fucking with me. You could do it tomorrow if you wanted to.

No. You don't fucking have a schedule. We're full tomorrow. Fuck yeah. Shane Gillis tomorrow. Hey. Shane Gillis tomorrow. By the way, everyone, Shane Gillis will be here tomorrow on the show.

And in studio where he doesn't have to figure out Skype that he can't figure out. tomorrow. By the way, everyone, Shane Gillis will be here tomorrow on the show. And in studio where he doesn't have to figure out Skype that he can't figure out. Why don't

you get Shaylee to learn Skype? I still understand. This is James Inman who says,

oh, no one uses Skype. I've never used Skype saying you don't know how to do

it even though you do it twice a week. Doug, I fucking told you to get your first computer. I had a fucking computer in 1995. You guys are just

fucking with me. 1995? I wasn't even on the internet until fucking 1999 and that's when I bought Right, because I told you to get a computer.

I bought it. And that's when you started downloading fucking Phil Henry. Actually, Phil Henry follows me on Twitter and Instagram, by the way. We should get him to do James' part. Oh, we could do Phil Henry doing James Inman.

We could do a better interview. Fuck yeah, let's do that. I'll set it up. He knows how to speak. Yeah, I'm tired of you guys fucking with me. I can't even hear James anymore. No, that's the feedback. I can't believe hear James anymore No that's the feedback I can't believe this Hold on

I think his battery died on his mobile phone Alright Can you hear me now Alright hold on No Can you hear me now Can you fucking hear me now Yeah

He's yelling into a dead phone Let's just No I'm not Can you hear me now? Can you fucking hear me now? Yeah. No. He's yelling into a dead phone. Let's just... No, I'm not. All right, we'll call... Fuck, we could probably get someone to do like 20 minutes just to have one. Nickelback Mike.

Let's call him. No, I want to do that with the full thing this is the free episode that goes out on Wednesdays so I mean we got to make up for this we can't put this shit out obviously if we had a heavy hitter we could bring in to pick up the slack

we could get Mamu she's used to cleaning up Inman mess yeah fucking let's get Wilkerson. You know what? I was just talking to Tracy that today. I said, where's Norm? We're dragging up all these dead bodies of friends.

Yeah, we're talking about, like, where are they now? Yeah, let's get a positive spin. All right, Bingo, take us out of this, because we're going to get Norm Wilkerson. Bingo, give us a one, two, three. Yeah, you're just fucking with me. three. You're just fucking with me. Whatever. You're still fucking with me.

Okay. Bye-bye now. Let's just get this fucking shave my head drop. Where do you want it? Shirley, do you have a preference? He's saying in the number one spot. No, we don't know that he's there. You've got a lot of long hair back there.

Yeah, you've got to turn around though so we can see it on the camera, Trace. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Over the left ear. There's a big patch there. Left? Yeah, there's a big patch there. Right here? Up above. Up above. Yeah big patch there. Left? Yeah. Left ear? This ear? Yeah, there's a big patch there. Right here?

Up above. Up above. Here? Up above. Yeah, right there. Here? That, yes. Start behind the ear and go all the way over to in front of the right ear.

Oh, that's a good one. You got to clean that lug on this side. I know we can't see it. That's a great one. Oops, I think I went down the wrong stripe on the playback. Do we do the inman again? Because I want to find out what happened with him fucking up the whole bookables thing.

We had a lot of questions. Can we do audio with him? Just audio? No, if he can charge his fucking cell phone,. Can we do audio with him? Just audio? No, if he can charge his fucking cell phone, we could just do audio. I don't know how, like, you're not going to fucking be able to teach him how to do this. I try to troubleshoot the way I used to with Andy.

And really, Andy would at least listen. You know what I mean? And that's the troubling thing, is that if I could just get the guy to stop for a second, take a breath. Yeah, fucking Andy doesn't like sit there and say cunt and fucking flip you off

when we're doing fucking ad copy. By the way, my phone has, I've got two text messages from our ad sponsors talking about the commercial for tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. Yeah. You know, with the C word and stuff.

Can't play around with that. I mean. He's done this long enough. He's going to know better. Come on, Doug. Yeah. How many breaks? How many breaks?

I love that guy. I fucking love him. It's too bad, man. That's. That's so many questions. Like a bunch of, like, because I was really, I was really rooting for him to get onto issues with Andy because it would be, it would be fun. You know, we could really make it into something.

And then if there was like a, if there was a time off. He's starting to feel bad. He's up there. Like when Chad has to not be there or if I'm not there because I'm on the road, we could have him be, you know, like Stern called it the Jackie chair, right? Yeah. We could have Inman be in there.

But, you know, this kind of stuff is weird. You don't know what to do. It's more of his emotions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know what emotional, especially watching him drink like that. Come on. That was, it's just fucking cranking it down.

I don't know. But, it's, so where do we go from here? Well, let's get back to the party. Yeah. I heard that's get our fuck on.

Good night. Okay. Bye-bye now. Hello? Hey, there you are. I hear, I can hear what you guys are saying. You're just making fun of me. You're doing stupid shit.

I can't see you. He shut my monitor down, so I'm just... I thought we were off. Yeah. No, I'm calling him. He's acting like he said he can hear us. Has my phone been on?

I can't figure this out. Has my phone been on? I can hear you. I can hear you. You're just fucking with me. You're just fucking with me. this out. Has my phone been on? I can hear you. I can hear you. You're just fucking with me. It's unbelievable that Shaley and I cannot somehow fix this.

The only reason you're doing this is just to fuck with me, okay? I get the joke. The joke has gone on too long, okay? I almost had the unbookables at the comedy store. You should be proud of me for that. But instead, you just make fun of me. Alright? Actually,

fucking Johnny Depp is nicer than you. You're a dick. I should call Johnny Depp and be his friend. What? What? Why would you? I don't even know He was nice to me on the phone when I talked to him. Oh, yeah, that's right.

I drunk dialed you from the island. Yeah, unlike you. Wait, I drunk dialed you? Unlike me? Yeah, I called you. Did you hear what you just said? I drunk dialed you with Johnny Depp, and you said, unlike me.

I was texting you. Like, I was texting you about the Comedy Store show. I'm like, God, I think I can get a Comedy Store show thing going. And so you called me and then you put Johnny Depp on the phone. And he was nice. He was like, tell me when the show is. Tell me how much time I have to do and how much do I get paid. He wanted to be there.

Do you understand that Johnny Depp is a... Yeah, I know he's not yeah he was at least being nice james you have to listen to me you know i don't i rather you lie to me like johnny death lies and he makes me feel better you you can't lie you can't just make shit up to make me feel better don't you know that's it i'm nice do you listen to my podcast occasionally james james Do you listen to my podcast? Why? Occasionally. James, do you... Just say, like, good job, James. James, do you listen to my podcast?

Do you understand that... I've been on your podcast. Do you listen... I have the most downloaded podcast. Do you... Two of the most downloaded podcasts. I'm fucking starting. I was like a, what, 20th or 30th podcast.

Fucking, I've or 30th podcast. I've known you since 1995. But do you listen when you're not on? Because you would know that Johnny Depp is not Johnny Depp. That's Dave Rader doing Johnny Depp. I was not on Johnny Depp Island. That was Dave Rader. Yeah, he thought that was actually Johnny Depp he was talking to. That's Dave Rader's impression. You don't even listen to my podcast. Yeah, he thought that was actually Johnny Depp he was talking to. That's Dave Rader's impression.

You don't even listen to my podcast. Yes, I do. I mean, on Patreon, you fucking talk about it. If you got a dollar a month, you can go on Doug's Patreon and you can listen to your fucking secret podcast. I got access to all your secret shit, Doug.

Do you know that Johnny Depp that you talked to was Dave Rader and we were all laughing because we knew you'd buy it? I don't fucking talk to Johnny Depp. I've met him like three times. Why would you waste his time?

That's rude. This is not funny. You're right. How come... I thought you were in on the joke. Everyone else was. Can we talk about something else? How come I can't be on Issues with Andy?

I just want to be on that one time as a guest. All right? It'll be funny. I can't even do your podcast. You know why? Because you can't figure out Skype. I made one phone call and booked a comedy store show. On Skype?

Don't tell me I can't fix Skype. You guys are fucking with me. Just like when I started messaging on YouTube when you guys did that live show. Yeah, Brett acted like he wasn't, he didn't, he wasn't reading my messages. What's YouTube? They did a live YouTube show, Issues of Andy.

I just thought it'd be funny if I was on there one time. They won't even put me on one time, you know, it's hilarious. Well, probably because you throw out a lot of curse words

and ruin their sponsors and don't know how to use your own. They don't have any sponsors. What are you talking about? Not with language like yours. You're not doing a clean podcast. You guys are fucking with me.

Can he get in the frame? We're going to see. Here's what you're doing. You're fucking with me. Listen, you call me when you have a better attitude, and I'm just gonna kill this. Alright. Good.

Alright. I tried my best to help you. Alright, I guess that's the legit end, depending on how you want to edit it. No, he just sat down in front of Skype after he hung up the phone again. I'm going to pull him

full screen. That'd be funny. I have him full screen over here. I know. Sorry about that. I just want to watch him all night. Just make sure he's okay. Monkey cam? Well, no, because the amount he drank was fucking... What if he

chokes on his own? Brenda's not there. Well, no, because the amount he drank was fucking, like, what if he, like, chokes on his own? Brenda's not there. Well, yeah, hopefully. Brenda might be there. Who knows? Who knows who she's with in the other room? He hangs the phone and then goes into a diatribe. That is the fucking craziest thing.

He leaves the camera to go on a diatribe. That's like, this is my fucking closing rant. I'm going to leave this stage and go back behind the curtains this fucking guy like the idea that he has ever been on stage the same stage twice probably never happened no no we've got plenty of stories about that and you can get those stories at issues with and Andy every Wednesday, or is it Tuesday? Tuesday and Friday on YouTube only. And we're good podcast.

By the way, we are setting up Patreon. We're just kind of slow rolling it right now. But yeah, just the like, just the editor. I want him to get some cash just because we doubled his workload and got paid zero. But yeah, so hopefully we'll see what happens.

Hopefully, yeah. Hopefully you keep having consistent luck with that Skype always working. Well, you know, it's a tenuous relationship between us and Skype. It's 40 episodes. It's worked pretty good, and we've always troubleshooted.

By the way, Brett and Chad, who neither of them have worked in the tech industry, have both gotten pretty good at slow talking someone through to get to the other end to where things are working.

And that's it. We've all advanced because of this podcast. And 40 in there's not the only problem is and you know what andy did this was on the last issues uh he he ended up uh taping down his microphone which has become the thing like when he knocks the microphone down then that's like it's time to end the podcast and i'm like is that fucking fluorescent orange gaff tape he's like oh yeah i go that's my fucking gaff tape yeah i thought i thought that would be cool too if like he fucking andy's so good you know even as a fuck up andy like he still can like pull through and doug this is the medium for

him for three people making fun of him it's you know what it is it's like i've always said andy is the funniest guy on the way to the gig and on the way home from the gig and it's like that's what it is we're in a four-seater car driving to the gig and from the gig at issues with andy and it's him just fucking riffing. I know. Fucking funny. I wish Inman was the opposite. Inman just gets aggressive.

Let's just fucking hang it up. All right. I got to piss for a third time. This is a long podcast that never happened. Fucking Inman ruined it again. Okay. Bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់� Thank you.