The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#408: Shank is Back in the New FunHouse

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

The FunHouse renovation is complete and Chad Shank joins the podcast to celebrate. "Class Action Park" screening, a documentary crew on site and more death and dying in Bisbee. Big shoutout today to Helix Sleep: Take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they’ll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at www.HelixSleep.com/stanhope .Want more Stanhope? Subscribe at https://www.patreon.com/stanhopepodcast to get an extra BONUS podcast for as little as a $1 a month. Plus, video, insider communication with the podcast and more.Doug's new book, "No Encore For The Donkey" available exclusively at Audible.com - https://amzn.to/31uwvO0 Check Out Doug's Weekly eBay Yard Sale listing - https://www.ebay.com/usr/stanhope_podcast?_trksid=p2047675.l2559Doug's latest comedy special, "Dying of a Last Breed", is now available on Amazon Prime - https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B08CY4XDMC/ref=atv_dp_cnc_1_5Recorded Sep. 1st, 2020 at the New FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), Tracey (@egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille.We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know.LINKS - Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/Check out "Class Action Park" on HBOMax or where ever you find stuff to watch. https://www.hbomax.com/feature/urn:hbo:feature:GX0P9SwLUP4vDIQEAAAAeCheck out the classic Whisky Girl and NoWhere Man Cliffhanger Podcasts THE DOUG STANHOPE PODCAST: A BISBEE CLIFFHANGER (Part 1) - https://allthingscomedy.com/podcasts/the-doug-stanhope-podcast-a-bisbee-cliffhangerTHE BISBEE CLIFFHANGER PT.2: NOWHERE MAN AND A WHISKEY GIRL - https://allthingscomedy.com/podcasts/the-bisbee-cliffhanger-pt.2-nowhere-man-and-a-whiskey-girlISSUES WITH ANDY Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKdSjAXFP0Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconantPhoto Credit - Brian HenniganSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Big shout out today to Helix Sleep. Take their two-minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash stanhope. That's helixsleep.com slash stanhope. you're listening to the doug stanhope podcast you poured a tiny bit and then fixed it i like this recipe for grapefruit orange? I haven't tried it yet. It's grapefruit and orange. That's not done. Huh.

Who would have guessed? We used to do that as kids, mixing together. You can just talk into the mic now. Yeah, I can talk into the mic. All right. I was talking soft. You can spin it towards you so you can command the room a little bit. I know.

We're live. Yeah, I know. Dicky way to say we're live. I don't mind. I like the conversation but you're just too far away from the microphone. Not when I know we're live.

That's when I come alive. I see that red button, man. I'm all fucking action. That's right. Chad Shank is back in the funhouse. In the brand new refurbished funhouse. Oh, shit. Yeah, we haven't...

We didn't plug the eBay thing last couple of weeks, I don't think. Yeah, we have. Have we? Every time. You've been at the end of the podcast and you've been really high. Oh, all right. Well, yeah, we sold all the collection of mini helmets and the plaque from the last time.

When we put the bar in here and the fans paid for it. And they were forever enshrined on a plaque that we took down, finally. So we sold that so we could refurbish again. And now a stranger owns a plaque with a bunch of other strangers' names on it that built your bar. I would bet that someone that kicked in for the bar is actually buying it because

their name on it. That makes sense. Alright, so fuck. It's been raining finally. I've been getting high a lot. Quite a bit. And, yeah, buying shit high is just the same as buying shit drunk.

Especially when you don't go anywhere. So I noticed that you shit-canned all the, like, the the play the doormats and shit in uh well in the insurance game they call it trip hazards but yeah yeah dirty old trip hazards yeah but you come in here with wet feet and it's a slip hazard yes so i uh i went to find some cheap doormats on the amazon and the ebay and uh so i i just wanted something to throw around until you said you're getting some legit bar equipment for behind the bar, at least. So when you go to the cheapest, show me. Filter by cheapest.

Lowest price top. Yeah, it's all China. So I was buying doormats for like $1.57 with no shipping. Free shipping. I made reference to this. Alibaba? I had an aside in my last special about that. About cocktail straws

and it wasn't the bit, but it was an aside on how you can get them for $1.50 with no shipping. Oh, it was socks You were talking about No cocktail straws But you weren't talking about socks too

We were going on tour Oh that's an old one You got a huge Like a ton of socks Free shipping Yeah $4.50 You had all the socks

For the entire tour I bought like fucking Nine Rugs Doormats. I got these. I think they're cool. I don't know.

They're coming from China. One of the things I bought, I did buy some runners for behind the bar, like industrial ones. Those are legit. But the Chinese ones, I don't know. One of the things I bought, it said estimated delivery uh between uh september 14th and december 31st i was gonna say you'll probably never get that shit at all or it'll be here tomorrow or it'll fall apart yeah that's you never know anymore i i ordered a uh one of those rubber punching guys

i've been wanting one forever and and I thought, you know, I want to work out more, but I don't want to because I'm apathetic and I don't care, but I still want to punch somebody in the face. And I told Jenny, I said, if I get one of those guys, I'll never not wake up and want to punch somebody in the face. So, I mean, I've got to work with my natural abilities, you know, to try to work out. And it's working so far.

It said it was coming by September 9th, and it came like the 28th. And it was one of those ones with a vague shipping date. I was surprised. Yeah, I bought nine different runners and doormats. I think it was a total of $38. Wait, for everything? Yeah, not including the industrial one. There was one I spent like 50 bucks on that's not from China for back here.

So I'll find something to do. Like the rubber mat. I think I bought a nine foot one and I go, I don't know where I'm going to put that, but I'm going to find a place. You cut it in half and put it halfway around the bar. You immediately want to destroy things. I don't even have it and you're already cutting it in half and put it halfway around the bar. You all immediately want to destroy things. I don't even have it and you're already

cutting it in half. If you bought like 10 carpets for $38, walking on them is going to destroy them. I'm pretty sure. I got some pink and a purple heart-shaped bathroom thing. Cool. I don't know why.

I do. The same reason we just had to stop Stan Hope from tweeting a picture of his shepherd's pie because he's a fucking stoner. Yeah, I was going to take an edible for this, and then I realized that I didn't have time for it to kick in, and I didn't want to be graduating into it while I was talking. Once you're high, you go, okay, I can do this. But coming on to it, you go, did I already say that out loud?

Yeah, I've been buying vintage ashtrays. Tracy, remember I told you I bought that 12-pack of the, they're called boomerang ashtrays. Tracy, remember I told you I bought that 12-pack of the, they're called boomerang ashtrays. Oh, I love those. I have one out here. Yeah, yeah. Like 70s retro, late 60s, 70s retro. Yeah, the Mad Men era.

Yeah. And then I went to, that's been like six weeks, and I'm like, what the fuck? And I went and checked the order. Oh, no, they had a picture of 12 and the default picture on eBay, but it's only one. So,

so yeah, I got that one. I thought I had more coming. You fucks. They're all blue too. It's not. Did you get them for parting gifts? I mean,

why did you get so many? To make that? Cause they're cool. Well, they are. And I have extra rooms now. Do we have a problem with people stealing ashtrays from the bar?

Well, I fucking hate those metal ones you got. I wanted to just chuck those out and put the cool boomerangs everywhere. We got to get good ashtrays. We should have a vintage. I don't know what you sell on that merch page, but you should have a proper rocks glass and uh and an ashtray wait do we do we have that we have an ashtray but we don't like the way they turned out yeah i walk so there's not a do not wash what which i never did before is i've been washing ashtrays. I used to just dump them because I had other shit to do.

Now I don't. Do you soak them? So I wash them. And I washed the fucking ashtray, the Doug Stanhope podcast ashtray, and the fucking label came off. Not the label, but whatever you call it. The screen print.

Yeah. It was a surprise to all of us. Yeah. And we haven't learned. The surprise is that somebody actually washed an ashtray. Well, I agree with

washing ashtrays as a non-smoker. that probably most people that order them from the Doug Stamlow store do not wash ashtrays. Or use them. Or they don't use them.

Yeah. Yeah. And put change or gum in it or something. I don't know. But yeah, rocks glass.

That's a good idea. Yeah. Would you like something etched on the rocks glass, or do you want printing? You can't scrub off etching, just to let you know. Yeah, well, let's not get them from China. Well, then that's not going to happen. Yeah, not for any reason. Not for anything on our merch site.

Except for the t-shirts. Those are screen printed in America. Tracy, I had on the list. Oh, yeah. Hey, buy my fucking book and listen to it. Go out. Take a road trip. Three hours out, three hours back.

It's six and a half hours. So, yeah, take a road trip somewhere where you don't leave your car. Listen to it, and on the Patreon, I want to do a Q&A. Like live? Yeah, like when we did book signings for the last book

in person. Yeah, we'll do a virtual one for Patreon. That'd be good. Fill in some blanks. Oh, that's what I told you. Hold hold off don't tweet that yet because i wanted to find out if we could do it because i we just i just now set up the podcast gear here in the in the final in fact that's why your level was low i had you and chad's mic

assignments differently so we got in the first two minutes a lot of chad heavy breathing and doug really low so that's why i was like hey you want to talk in the mic because i'm looking at you but your level was so uh yeah i it's growing pains yes we'll we'll get we can set something up you would like to do a zoom or something where we just no no just i'm having people email in questions. What's the email? Is Stanhope Podcast at what? Gmail.

Specifically about the book. It's Gmail. But why don't we do a Zoom where we just give the Zoom login on Patreon? That's fine. I don't know how that shit works. However you set it up. We can do that.

That'd be fun. Because a lot of that book, we intended on doing it like we did the other audible books with digging up mother and this is not fame where we cut away from the the written page and then go podcast style to talk about it and a lot of things like the uh that pilot that we did i go all right i'm not gonna try to overwrite this. I'll put in a few examples because that's shit that, you know, Chad and everyone was here for. So we could, you know, I was planning on making that chapter podcast heavy.

But then because of the COVID, well, now we're not going to be able to go to L.A. and get everyone on the fucking Audible. At first I was, was like really bummed but now i don't care about not leaving like we talked to erickson twice a week for four hours and uh uh he says la is still just fucking shut the fuck down like they're they are just in their apartment complex i don't know if it's just the people i follow on twitter but there's a there's a lot of hubbub over the weekend about

is anyone staying in la like people are just fleeing and new york too i i saw well everybody knows joe rogan left but then i didn't realize joey diaz left like the same exact time that yeah i just found that out. I think it was like four days after that on his podcast, he was talking about, man, I don't know what to do. What is he's,

he's right. He's right. You know, I love the clips that come up that whatever algorithm throws them at me on YouTube. I love it. Cause they're always fucking hilarious. Joey Diaz.

And then his producer guy. He'll be eating a sandwich on fucking time. And I love it. I don't want any of that to change. I love the fucking down-home feel of like, hey, what do you think? And they're talking about food. It's so good. Fucking Bisbee real estate going like

hot cakes as they say it has been for a while it's been definitely a lot of like the prices have gone up Tark just has been waiting to put in a bid on that house that I love at the end of Coach E's Trail.

Really? Yeah, he put in an offer, but someone had already put in an offer. So that one's, that's a great house that sold two years ago and they didn't do anything to it. They just lived in it part time and they just put it up for sale. It was like two something, right? It's up there. It was 79, I think is what they're asking. But they didn't do anything.

Because it's great. It's like three levels. Two levels. But they've got like the lower area could probably be an entire house. Yeah, we've been through it. Oh, I haven't been there. Yeah, when it was first for sale, when we first moved here,

I loved it. And we had a for sale sign, so we went looking in the windows and then they had a door unlocked downstairs, so we gave ourselves a tour. And yeah, the lower unit, well, it's statute of limitations.

What does that mean? It's 15 years ago. Breaking and entering. How about that? I know, but it's, yeah, 15 years ago. They should have been there then.? I know, but yeah, 15 years ago. They should have been there then. You know what?

Hey, the Bisbee police beat. I know we haven't done it in a while, but we had a fucking armed standoff with the cops right across from that house. Remember Danny Man playing poker with the champ? He's the guy that used to bring Jake LaMotta over for poker. I can't talk, honey. I'm playing poker with the champ? He's the guy that used to bring Jake LaMotta over for poker. I can't talk, honey. I'm playing poker with the champ,

and Doug Stanhope, he's a nationally known comedian. This is fucking crazy, but I guess it was this kid who's had some issues with substances that turn into armed standoffs with the police, and it didn't make either fucking paper. Not the Sierra Vista paper. I hadn't heard of it.

Not the Bisbee Observer. That fucking suicide on Black Knob months ago didn't make the paper. Of all these goofy fucking things we read in the police beat, what are they not telling us? A rogue band of raccoons tossing trash cans makes it. What suicide on Black Knob are you talking about? Oh shit, that's right.

Next to my friend's. Wait, that was a suicide? He just walked into someone's house and shot himself? He was related to the people that lived there. We get most of our news from Officer Bob Friendly's daughter. She's a pretty good source.

Yeah, she is. Yeah. Like, what the fuck happened? That Facebook. Oh, yeah, when our neighbor Suzanne, her boyfriend got killed in that head-on on the other side of the tunnel. They were both involved in a serious head-on

where her boyfriend died and she walked away. Yeah. Yeah. She said that it was a border off-duty border patrol that that cocksucker was trying to pass in a no passing on a corner going up a mountain. On a hill. Yeah. And he said that like,

he's more shook up than she is. Like I couldn't believe that not only. The dead guy? He's pretty shook up. He had a good hippie outlook, that guy. He's probably happy to be dead. So who said that? The guy that the cocksucker was trying to pass was an off-duty Border Patrol guy,

so he stopped obviously and thought he was walking to two dead bodies. There was a picture of the car on the front of the Bisbee Observer and you're like, holy shit. If you want to cut a car in half for a car show to show how luxurious it is,

cut it long ways, that's what the car looks like. Holy shit. With a tarp over part of it. That explains why half was alive and half wasn't. Yeah, she's lucky she's practically a dwarf. What, was she in a baby seat? She has to sit in a car seat for Arizona law. So what did border patrol say just that he had no doubt he was walking up to see two dead bodies and the fact that she was not only alive but standing up and doing cpr on the dude

the last time we were coming over here on highway 92 there was a row of cars on coming the opposite direction. And all of a sudden, Jenny's like, I think that car is in our lane. He was trying to pass like seven cars. And I had to pull over off to the side to let him buzz through. Yeah, it's a horrible area. Crazy. Why is it it such a hurry

it's fucking we're in covid lockdown and we're in busy nobody even had jobs before the lockdown

now you certainly don't have a job why are you hurrying ah fuck yeah so uh yeah we get a lot

of cars out uh backdoor borrowed the tour van to go pick up his dead sister's shit. A lot of dead people. Yeah, they're clearing out that house next door. That lady, they found her. She died and they did a welfare check. I wish Tom was around because he'd be able to amble over there

and get all of it. I just don't have any patience for that. Backdoor got a lot of it. When they found her body on a welfare check, 42 pounds. Good for her. Can't take it with you. She achieved her goal weight.

Yeah. She wasn't trying to lose weight. Like the mother in Requiem for a Dream on her diet pills, losing her hair and losing her shit. She was nice. I thought she may have been a problem because of the haunt, and then I sent Tom over there just like, go rake some leaves over near her when she's out there.

And he ended up talking to her. He's the best schmoozer. Oh, it's so great. And then he said, oh, she loves it. She loves the haunt. And then I started waving at her and saying hey and stuff. But yeah, I was afraid that she might be like, there's so much noise and they're screaming next door.

But no, she was really fucking cool. I'm trying to die over here. Keep it down. I had the ghost truck follow me today. Like I turned onto a school terrace and I was coming home and I looked behind me and there's somebody who has their headlights on, which is always a little bit strange.

And I see it's red and I'm like, that's a red truck. And it just keeps following me and keeps following me. Keeps following all the way home it was her truck her daughter was in the truck taking us up to the dump in the press store trying to shake her is that truck for sale

it's a mini it's a mini truck it's not full size everything's for sale. Helix Mattresses. Sponsor. And who got the Helix Mattress? Well, we decided Joby is the biggest insomniac in our crew. Wait, he does sleep?

If at all. Yeah, you don't need drugs to get a good night's sleep is what I'm saying. All you need to do is go to Helix Mattress. You don't have to go to some dark parking lot to meet up with a guy. Is that where you bought a mattress? Oh, no, but that's actually funny that you say that. That's, I think, where Chad ended up dumping the suicide mattress. You know, Helix did tell us to have fun with these.

You know why he dumped it? It wasn't a Helix. I would have just flipped it over if it was a Helix. I think Helix is very absorbent. They don't have that in the ad copy. I did see in the ad copy it says they have a Helix Plus mattress for plus-size folks. And as a plus-size folk,

I'm sold because I bought a brand new mattress just a few years ago. And my wife complains about it because there's a giant hole where I sleep and if she gets close to me, she falls in it with me. She rolls? Yeah.

So she has to try to hide way over on a tiny part so she doesn't fall in a giant crater. Does she get like a grappling hook to hold her off to the, like just over the edge to tie herself in? At one point, she got one of those mattress covers to put over it and just stuffed pillows underneath it so there wouldn't be such a giant hole. It's a big lump until Chad lays in it and then it's flat.

Is there a technical one to your plus size? Is there a dwarf as a certain height or less? Is a plus size person a certain weight or you just... I'm a fat fuck. I think that's a nice way of saying we have mattresses for fat fucks. They don't want to say that. They have mattresses. No, you're also tall. Large. Large, yeah. Well,

it's on its way to Joby's and he deserves it. He doesn't sleep for a reason. It's another death in the neighborhood. Not his. Helix Sleep has a quiz that you can take. It just takes two minutes and they kind of match you to the style that you're going to want. You get 100 days of sleep on it for free, and you can send it back if it's not right.

But for Chad, I would definitely suggest you take the quiz. And then I'm guessing, based on what you just said, they're probably going to suggest a firm. Something maybe with bricks. A brick additive, just to keep it level. So poor Jenny doesn't roll down into the abyss. Mortar lux. Helix mattress, as soon as it shows up, that gives us a reason to get Joby out of his closet of gloom over there to come over and tell us about the helix mattress in his own words i know a lot of people who have the helix mattresses why do i know them because they're comics and they have a

podcast and they have a helix mattress and they all swear by them so and they've been awarded number one best overall mattress pick for 2020 by gq and Wired Magazine. I was pretty shocked at the accolades they've been getting. If the listener's thinking it, I caught it too. I think he just said accolades. Is that wrong? It's accolades. Well, I shaley-ized it. Accolades are when you praise somebody, but you've been drinking before you do it.

You regret it in the morning. Not only does it give us a reason to get Joby over here to tell us about a good night's sleep, it gives us a reason to try to crawl into bed with that sweet, the golden locks, caressing his gentle bosom on a Helix mattress. Good Christ. Like I said, 100 nights sleep trial,

10-year warranty, free shipping, and yes, it's made in America. 100 nights in bed with Joby. I could do that on a bed of nails, but I'd prefer a Helix mattress. Helix mattresses, people. Just go to helixsleep.com slash Stanhope. Just go to helixsleep.com slash Stanhope. Take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they'll match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life as soon as he comes. Over to check out your new Helix mattress.

Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash stanhope. That's helixsleep.com slash stanhope. Chad Shank and Joby were here, not for a podcast, but we were filming a documentary. I don't see any reason we can't talk about it, right? I think you brought it up before. I think. Yeah. Well, whether you've said anything or not, everyone on Twitter knows what you're talking about already.

All right. I've seen mention of it. Yeah, I don't know how much. I don't even know what the last podcast we did was. I might have already brought up half this shit. Who cares? But yeah, if you listen to the cliffhanger part one and two, if you haven't, go back and listen to this.

I think it's 13 and 15 or 13 and two. If you haven't, I don't... Yeah, go back and listen to this. I think it's 13 and 15 or 13 and 16. It's way early. I listened to the part two for the first time ever on my way over here because I knew it was a long time ago. I try to refresh my memory of

what went on. Oh, before you guys did the filming. Yeah. Yeah, so there's a legit documentary guy that's doing a documentary about Whiskey Girl and Nowhere Man. So they were down doing interviews. And Chad and Joby, they, of course, did the cleanup on the suicide of Nowhere Man. So they came in and knocked it out of the park. Fucking bingo destroyed. I don't remember anything.

I don't know what I'm gonna say I'm gonna look like the stupidest one in the entire documentary and sat down and just bloviated hitting beats shit I didn't even know just as soon as they said

action it was nothing but and they got Floyd on it, which would be hilarious. Nice. And Bridget. They're doing Jimmy G, who can fucking spin a yarn. How accurate it is?

You decide. I didn't hear the interview. But no, they said he was great. And Jimmy Eat World. I guess they're a huge band. Out of Tucson yeah she played on one of their albums oh really yeah I didn't know that

I knew that she knew them yeah she was a that's kind of kick ass yeah so they are interviewing them and the guy we did a screening here of he's got a documentary out on HBO Max there's not nearly enough HBO we did a screening here of he's got a documentary out on HBO max. No,

there's not nearly enough HBO channels. I have 10 of the fucking things and all of them are playing the nutty professor at different times, but now you can get HBO go and HBO max. If you don't have, if 10 is not enough, I think they got rid of all of the other ones already. I think they,

they realized what a horrible mistake that was. I read an article that's they're getting rid of the the the hbo uh now hbo go oh used to be if you had hbo then you could have the separate app so you could watch on demand and not just the tv with hbo go then they had hbo now for people like me that didn't have hbo on tv and then they put hbo max and it's fucking very confusing. I think they've narrowed it down to one or two now. Yeah. HBO Max has a lot of fucking content on it. It's got all the Looney Tunes cartoons from way the fuck back.

Oh, wow. All the Flintstones. A bunch of Scooby-Doo. It's like the boomerang. I'm a fucking child, I guess. Yeah, I got to get rid of... I'm a fucking child, I guess. Yeah, I gotta get rid of... I get all the... With all the shit where you can just pick what you want,

I don't know why I have pay channels on cable because it's so rare that you find something that you really want to watch. Yeah, on demand is where it's at. Yeah, but with stars and all those, I can go through, what, 35 channels of pay TV that I'm paying for, Yeah, on demand is where it's at. Yeah, with stars and all those. I can go through, what, 35 channels of pay TV that I'm paying for, and most of them are, you know, there's whatever, eight stars channels,

but they just stagger the same fucking movies. Or two are in Spanish. The thing that I've discovered recently is, like, I have the Apple TV, and if you have a cable that you pay for no matter who it is most of the time and then just download the stand-alone apps from the one the history channel uh id uh channel they have their own and then you yeah that's one of my favorites but you and then you just log in with your credentials from your cable login and then you have all the on-demand. It's way better than just live TV.

But you have to pay for live TV to have it. Also, doing live TV, there's a thing I found when we got the Roku TV, which is just another way to access these things online, is Pluto. Pluto TV is free. It has commercials. But like 24-7, the Addams Family from the 60s. And then they've got Antiques Roach.

I mean, they've got all these little things that you just mind them, watch it. And then they also got movie channels on there as well. It's inappropriate when the commercials come in, but it's never more than a minute or two. It's not like this huge commercial break. But it's like, for a minute or two no it's not like like this huge commercial break but it's like for an option that's free for free there's the the other one

that's one of the ones that's free to be yeah yeah ubi has a shit ton of movies on the app on your computer or on your tv yeah your smart tv that's uh wow they're really trying to keep people occupied these days you'd think i'd learn one of these things in six months. I'd learn. I didn't know you could download something onto a television until this conversation, all of those things around your TV. Because when I put that TV in the new bedroom,

I stayed in that bedroom for three nights. I like would go home to my place down the steps at four in the morning because I was watching Ab's Family and Little Rascals. And I'm like, just tune in in the TV, Chase. I'll be down later. Leave the back door open. Yeah. Yeah, I put Hulu.

And the only thing we don't have on there that we should probably put on is Hulu. There's a big proponent of Hulu. Hulu's good, yeah. But I don't think we have the because I don't have a oh I don't yeah I know how to use

Amazon Prime I think and Netflix yeah I found oh that's another thing where

I find something that's good on regular HBO and then I tweet it and I go I wonder if people even have regular HBO now. Can you even get that?

I don't know. Everything that's on regular HBO is on HBO Max. All right. So you're safe. The one I found, it was some pay channel. I don't know if it's HBO, but randomly, it's called Run This Town. And it's a biopic,

but it's about Rob Ford, the Canadian crackhead mayor. Oh, yeah. Toronto. It's a really good flick. The guy that plays Rob Ford is actually brilliant, but he's in an obvious kind of nutty professor

fat suit like like at what point is do do fat and ugly get to like you you oh it's it's damien a deaf person isn't gonna be played by a anymore. You're taking work away from fat people is how you say it? Yeah, this guy's an obvious uncomfortable prosthetics and it turns out he's one of those asshole character actors that's a fucking wicked asshole and everything and you don't know his name but when I

looked it up, who's playing this guy? Because it could be anyone in that suit. Did a fucking brilliant job but come on. Give a fat guy a break eric roberts you know they look look the guy damian lewis he's the he's the lead guy show chat he's one of the lead guys on billions uh paul giamatti plays opposite him he's the DA Damian Lewis is the multi-billionaire and yeah he plays a real good asshole

oh yeah yeah I've watched that guy he plays something else too like a period piece like the Victorian or something

we saw him and I'm like oh because I've just only seen him in billions but there's character actors where you go alright

that guy specifically you have to be that much of an asshole. You only play assholes. No one can be that much of an asshole. That Jesse Eisenberg played – You hate that guy. Yeah. He played – what's his name from Facebook?

Yeah. Zuckerberg. I only know him from Zombieland. Zombieland, Double Tap. Yeah. Yeah. You know that guy's a douieland. Zombieland, Double Tap. You know that guy's a douchebag. No, I like that guy. No, no, he's terrible.

He did that one magician one, and they did a sequel, too. All these magicians are going to... But they're all young rock and roll magicians who are going to do this big heist, right? I hope you only watched the trailer. I was like, what else is this guy?

No, I haven't seen it. I'm like, this is that guy that Doug hates. I'm like, oh, shit, this would not help Jesse's fucking... It wouldn't go any further with Stan Hope. He's a magician. And he came back for the second one. Oh, I think we got off track. Not that we had one, but the point about HBO Max

is that's where this documentarian that's doing Nowhere Man and Whiskey Girl did Class Action Park. And if you're of a certain age or generation from the East Coast, you probably know about Action Park in New Jersey. Did you know about it, guy who can't be named? Not to the extent of what happened, but I knew about the park.

And it was one of those, like, the director, you've got to know your audience. Don't have me do the first interview at 10.30 in the morning and then expect me to be alert hosting a party. After the day's filming, then we're going to have a big barbecue and we're going to show the movie. Sounds great. 830 or 9 o'clock.

Then he shows up at 930 and then we get to put food out. We didn't finish a movie till 1230 at night. I pulled the steaks off at 11. Yeah. And I thought when I came up here at eight, I'd catch the tail end of the movie. I was downstairs working and I'm like, oh, fuck. And I ran up there and it's bucked.

Stan Hope trying to move the barbecue going. I think we need a barbecue. It hasn't even started. You're like, yeah, can we do it? I'm like, I know how this is going to go. Oh, it was just agony. I had to take an edible to stay up. I had been drinking here since noon and was only staying for the hope of food.

You were here at 10, 30, 11? Think about noon I got here. You and Joby were out there drinking that whole time. Yes. Yeah. Until their interviews. Well, we didn't know that you were going to be interviewed. I knew if you were here, he'd say definitely

I want to interview him, but I didn't think he'd schedule it on his own. So I thought for sure we would just be here to you know fucking talk to you you could you know hey do you remember what do you remember you know i didn't know style well i didn't know that it would even be on recorded of any time i thought we were just going to be off in the wings and san hope would talk to us about you know what we remembered is what i expected so it was i was glad joe b got put on

the spot more than i did joe b had a fucking that that look in his eye where you don't know if he's really enjoying it or about to snap he was about to snap he just kept making up bullshit answers so they kept asking him questions and i'm fucking i'm gonna keep i'm gonna stay quiet over here not bullshit answers not like blatant lies but no no no but it just he didn't have an answer for it all because we didn't know we were going to be asked these questions so he would have to come up with an answer for something that he wasn't prepared like four years ago bullshit of legitimate answer is what i mean yeah well the questions were like of the realm of legitimate answer is what I mean. The questions were of the realm of

what I complain about when you do a comedy interview and they say, where do you get your ideas from? I don't know. It's not an answerable question. Do you think that he would have wanted... How can you even guess what he...

Again, he is going in kind of blind. Which you have to, how can you even guess what he, but he didn't, again, he was, is going in kind of blind. Yeah. Which you have to, I believe. I mean, you want someone who isn't kind of like numb to everything that's around. You want someone with fresh eyes coming in and asking questions that to us would be routine. Well, see, my whole thing is the only stories that I have are the ones I told on the podcast, which are irreverent slash funny.

And then I'm like, what is the tone of this documentary? Because I don't want it to be a big somber thing. And then all of a sudden, cut to this asshole fucking smoking and joking about suicide. So I was very aware that I was talking to not just stan hope's audience so it was pretty awkward and and i i did i do remember sliding you a note that said fuck with it like we do on the podcast yeah which of course i would not do because you know it was hard i tried to a little bit, but it was interesting.

I never put on a spot like that. Well, that was the other thing, too, was then he started trying to talk to Joby and I about, well, do you ever start, because we would say things, I guess, that led into the fact that we weren't against suicide. Oh, he picked up on it. We'll go on a little tangent here. Well, when you consider your own demise, is it suicide? We're like, oh, yeah.

Well, tell me about that. No. I don't want to speak for him, but the director's nephew just killed himself. That's why the production got put off by a week. And it was like his best friend. Yeah, it sucks. So I don't know how much catharsis he was looking for. You guys weren't it, nor was I.

No. Nor was Bingo, for that matter. We're all kind of not pro-suicide. It's not a sponsor. I think one of the things that I... One of the answers I had was that this is a group of people that I've never met anybody like. It's so accepting of everything that even that, if that's your choice, this group of people accepts that.

It reminds me of the time in Panamint where that one guy showed up, maybe the second or third year, and he got there and no one knew him, but he just took his clothes off. Oh, the naked guy. And no one gave a shit for like two days. This guy's walking around like every chance he got, he was naked, like sitting on the bench going, hey man, can I bum a smoke? And it's like, no one gives a shit

because our group is different. No one's going to go, he's here again, somebody. And after a while, it's like i think christine levine said something like hey jackass put your clothes on no one cares you're not shocking anybody here yeah i think we did the same thing at that music festival that we played in europe amsterdam at the highlands yeah lowlands lowlands in Amsterdam. Yeah, we tried to do what we could be irreverent at. Yeah, we just got naked and no one gave a fuck because it's Amsterdam or...

It was funny the way it went. I actually read a comment. That was back in the days where I would read comments and that someone said that was one of the low lights of the low lands was that comedy show. They're getting naked americans have to understand no one gives a shit there's benetton ads out there with like a white baby sucking a black lady's nipple and we're out there trying to be fucking irreverent by just going down naked

chris chris sc Scott is the director. Also, Seth Porges. I don't know how to pronounce that. P-O-R-G-E-S. I don't think he wasn't here. No, no. That's the Class Action Park documentary. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. You mentioned him earlier. I want to give credit. Yeah. Hopefully, we'll get him on a podcast. Yeah, he's supposed to come back. They're supposed to wrap up, and he's. Yeah, he's supposed to come back. They're supposed to wrap up and he's

supposed to be back today. I thought you said Wednesday. Yeah, he's supposed to do the podcast tomorrow, but I don't know. He seems to live on the fly quite a bit. But yeah, he's like, I'm going to come back for a week

just to fuck around down here well maybe you meet some nice little lady in phoenix i was i was pleasantly surprised whenever i uh i had woken up that morning and uh saw stanhope texted me about one in the morning telling me hey you gotta be here tomorrow we're doing this thing. He was all drunk. He had misspelled the word you two times, T-O-U, instead of Y-O-U. So I was like, fucking drunk Stanhope invited me over. I don't even know. I'm going to have to text him in the morning.

You got to go. I got to text him in the morning and make sure he still wants me to come over first. So I woke up and I threw on my iPad. He misspelled a three-letter word. Twice. Well, that's not just drunk. That's drunk and too lazy to get my reading glasses. I can wing it. It'll auto-correct.

No. Well, it's not like I thought you were inviting my friend Two over. I knew what the fuck you meant. Two's not bummed, is he? Yeah, not Two. He doesn't speak English. He doesn't know. Two's not bummed, is he? Yeah, not two.

He doesn't speak English. He doesn't know. But I had woken up that morning and turned on the TV and saw that that class action park was a brand new thing. And I was like, oh, I've heard of that action park before. And I put it on and watched about 30 minutes of it before I came over here. Oh, cool. And then not knowing.

And then halfway through the day, whenever Stan was like, we're doing, he's screening a thing. And I was like, I thought, man, I'm going to have to fucking pretend to like somebody's fucking documentary.

That is weird. Like, hey, listen to my song. Yeah. But it's an hour and a half. I was going to, I was going to, after it got done screening and everyone,

it's like fucking 1230 at night and everyone's like, you know, toothpicks to keep their eyes open. I was going to go, okay, and now I'm going to do a six and a half hour screening of my Audible book. So just sit back, relax. Hold on. While I got you here. Get another hamburger. I'm going to put it on 1.25 speed so people can get home before the sun comes up.

I thought it on 1.25 speed so people can get home before the sun comes up. I thought it was great. I had known about it because I had just seen a small kind of dive into Action Park on a YouTube thing called Defunctland, which I've been kind of binging. And they're just like 20 minutes, right? So I knew some of it, but, man, they did a great job. It was well done and very chris gethard yeah oh my god quite a bit of it funny and and what what a tip of the hat to that guy to fucking i mean his his recall and the way he tells the story really uh that for the first

half of it it was just it was like watching a comedy it was so funny yeah and even like the people that were working there the real life story that's the fucking terror

yeah it's like they're alive going yeah I can't believe this we were in charge we were 15 years old oh my god

yeah it was good I remember doing that the ride on the top of the stratosphere in Vegas it just it's already on a they have a roller coaster

that goes around the edge I don't even know if that place is still open but then they had the one that just fires you up in the air oh yeah like you're in your seats

with your back against a pole and everyone's around the pole and it goes up and then you come down they bounce you yeah back against a pole and everyone's around the pole and it goes up. And then you come down and they bounce you. Yeah, and it dead drops and then bounces up and down. And you're already 60 stories up on top of Vegas. And a 16-year-old girl is chewing gum,

strapping you into the chair, talking on a cell phone. I'm like, I don't feel real safe. Yeah, I mean, the zipper at the carnival is one thing. 60 stories up is where you get strapped in. I don't know if it's 60 stories, but it's fucking- The stratosphere is a huge- Yeah, it's the tallest thing in Vegas. Other than dead.

other than dead. I bet when I was buying all this, I bought a bunch of like vintage Las Vegas casino ashtrays and I was like, I should do up the new room just like Caesar's Palace since I'm banned from there. But then I'm like, that's the gaudiest fucking hotel. I don't want to look like Caesar's Palace.

It's not worth the joke. Let's take a break. Please hold. Look at this hand, man. This is the one. Andy, are you taking anything for the swelling? Naps. Hey, everybody. Naps. Yeah, it's not a podcast, right? Isn't it a vodcast? You're right. For once, Andy, you're right.

It's a vodcast, which means it's a podcast fueled by vodka. If you love the shit you're getting here on the Doug Stanhope Podcast, get more shit with us on Issues with Andy on YouTube every Friday. And, yeah, you keep listening and watching or however you do it, and we'll keep shitting. Is there any way to not go into radio voice when you're reading the... You're supposed to. Yeah, it's all right. Otherwise, you're reading it without enthusiasm.

That's the enthusiasm part. Read it with more enthusiasm. Well, radio voice to me is like the puker, like, hey, everyone, you've just tuned in to 107.8. All right, well, advertise your voice. We call it puker voice. Well, you're advertising, so why not? I know, but that won't get us fired.

That was pretty good. I slept in so hard because it's true he really is a good looking guy he is he just gets better with age I mean men do anyway oh man that's sad I get it

Tracy's always behind me he looked over at me when he said it doesn't mean anything I looked last that's another podcast Tracy's always behind me. Because he looked over at me when he said it. Doesn't mean anything. I looked last. That's another podcast. Can I get another drink? It's even in my notes. Young lady.

I think we have to prep for that. We have to do a Tracy podcast. Because Tracy, she keeps saying things like, when I lived in Ireland. I really have no fucking idea what who tracy i just found out she was married it's fucking weird used to be yeah yeah she's a few things have come up over the last few weeks where i go yeah i really have no idea what your past is i think a tracy podcast is a great idea while you guys were while

you were helping direct uh bingo the other day i sat out and drank with tracy for the whole afternoon we had a blast visiting so uh i i would think that that would be a good uh interview tracy's a good hang yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah because you don't have to make your drinks I used to sit at her bar fuck man for nights seven nights a week I'd be at Coots and I would be there for something I would have to be there sometimes I didn't have to be there but I would be

sitting at her bar drinking the horseshoe bar in that corner that dark fucking corner where all the musicians and the comics would go in that corner, that dark fucking corner where all the musicians and the comics would go. And that was the best. That's fucking great times, man. Anybody want a cran-comi?

I'll take one. Cranberry kamikaze. That was the shot. That doesn't describe to me anymore and I don't know why I said anything. Yes, I do too. You're basically drinking it. Actually, you are. With a little sour added to it.

That was the drink of the shot of their choice anytime you played coots. Ours was White Russians. Shots? Yes. Where? Wait, ours? My band when I played at Coots.

Oh, okay. White Russian shots. No, I'm saying the bartenders would, like, hey, you're having a shot with us. And it was always cranberry kamikazes. They would come down to the stage from Billy. Billy Bad had the bar upstairs. We were on the south side. Yeah, yeah.

And the cocktailer would come down with a tray full of buckets of white Russians. And that's when we started taking off our clothes. I have so many pictures from coots of, you know we were naked, but like chest up with the dwarves, I guess we call them now. They still call themselves midgets, but we had to change. We didn't change at all. Now you call us dwarves, you fucking... You have to drop the T

called midgers. It's cool. He dropped the tea. You're a midget with a hard tea. Midget, please. No, that's going to be on the podcast. I really don't edit much. What?

Yeah, we're taping. We're talking into microphones. Is this like we'd just be sitting here? Do we not have triple sec anymore? This is our way to keep he who cannot be named away from us. We carry microphones with us wherever we go. Pretend we're talking. He's still here.

Just use lime juice, Trace. I was gonna try to do a sober September, but it's already September. Detail sober. Well, to quit smoking. My lungs have gotten

so much more grotesque. I know. No smoke September. Sounds good. Hey, Chad and I are I know. No smoke September. Sounds good. Chad and I are both sober. 100% sober. Point being, I'm going to... Write a book.

Here's my dilemma. I was going to, well, I could do Sober October, but I just celebrated my 30th anniversary of stand-up comedy, but the night before Thanksgiving will be my 30th anniversary of stand-up comedy, but the night before Thanksgiving will be my 40th year of smoking and drinking. So I'm thinking about, yeah, maybe I do like through the holidays.

Thanksgiving through, but then it's fucking, it's football Thanksgiving. That's not a good day to start stopping things i think my brother's gonna be out here during thank tracy when was it thanksgiving they were gonna michael and amy were gonna come out i don't know they usually do anchorage yeah they're not going to anchorage this year so we might have uh my brother on the podcast? Or is it me? That was one of the weirdest things whenever I hung out with the two of you is that I could tell you apart looking at you easily,

but when you would talk outside of my vision, I'm like, which one is that? Tone, sarcasm. Which one is that? This had to have come up in conversation. Would he be willing to dye and shave his hair like you?

How would you shave your hair longer? Shave the side of his head. Would he get your hair cut just to fuck with people? His head is shaved really tight, like a number one. Oh, all right. Yeah. All right. Cranberry Kamikaze.

Hey, you know what? Hey, everyone. Pete Ettinger, he passed away recently. And Big Brian. And Big Brian. Oh, wow. A lot of dead people. And our local hippie guy.

That was a little big. It wasn't just big. There was ice in mine. Tracy just channeled being at Coots. Sorry, I didn't have a proper rock spot. You know what? You will have them when we start selling them. Oh, yeah.

I should just drink like that instead of all this sipping with a straw. Yeah. Atel used to drink like that when he was a drinker. What do you mean that? More than a fortnight ago. What do you mean drink like that when he was a drinker. What do you mean that? More than a fortnight ago. What do you mean drink like that? Shots. Yeah.

Because everyone was buying him shots, so he wouldn't drink in between them. Just a shot would come his way, he'd do it. But it wasn't, I always had a beer going. The problem with shots is that once you do it then someone buys you another one and then you're doing another one and then if you have a drink like if I'm holding up a drink that is like a pinky

width from the rim if someone came up to offer me a drink I'd go I'm alright and you can nurse that for a while but yeah Tal used to drink I only met him with you at Harvey's that one time. Portland. In Portland.

And I don't think he was drinking then. Because that was during the... Insomniac. Insomniac. Yeah, you weren't with... You must not have been with us when we... No, because you would have solved shit. When we did his...

We did the show and then we went to film Insomniac at some bar in Portland you were there? couldn't get a cab? the guy from Chicago and Rene Rene got us kicked out of the bar before closing

and you were pissing you were pissing in the middle of the street in this fucking pote it's hell had that time we were happy to get cops tell had cleveland was the guy's name cleveland yeah yeah so the the insomniac had to like it had to be like a gorilla filming they couldn't tell anyone like the stat like the the crew all had to like keep it secret because if anyone like tipped off that David Tell was going to be at this bar, that bar was packed. And there was no local flavor. It was all fucking assholes with their fucking like the guy in your MMA punch face.

Yeah. The sideways cap and, you know, fucking Jersey Shore guy. And we go out there and it was so fucking far out from Portland like the suburbs and we get kicked out of the bar and Cleveland black gentleman was the opener and Rene going off the Richter and Doug peeing in the middle of the street and Clevelandveland going i'm the only one gonna get arrested here i'm the only one gonna get arrested here and he i think at one point someone kicked over the the bus stop bench and they came out from the thing we're calling the cops it was like a fucking like now we're hostile it's like we were invited and yeah we waited forever for cab. I don't remember getting kicked out of the bar.

Oh, yeah. They locked the door and there were still people in there drinking. And they said, you can't come back in. And Rene's pounding on the door. Fuck you. You can't do this. Fucking get us a cab. I mean, in my eyes, it's like someone just hit those blinds where they went blank.

Where you can't see. Like someone just hit those blinds where they went blank. Where you can't see. This proves that piece in the book about Chaley. Oh, you were there? Yeah. I was glad to find out I wasn't going to get arrested. Because Cleveland was definitely going to get arrested.

I was at least going to get home late yeah i remember uh we saw him later too yeah yeah we worked a couple times together uh but he was coming i didn't know him when he was coming into the condo we were sharing the harvey's comedy club condo and we were out nude sunbathing on the patio at the condo, not knowing the feature act coming in. And when we heard him come in, I just, Renee went down butt naked and just said, oh, hey, I'm Renee, and like completely casually, but butt naked.

Can I get you a beer or something? What the fuck is going on here? I'm definitely getting arrested. What the fuck is going on here? I'm definitely getting arrested. Yeah, he's a good dude. Fuck, I almost remember. I remember the room that we played with him afterwards.

We were somewhere where it was like, oh, no fucking way. Was it Chicago? Dr. Grins? Oh, it could have been. I bet it was Dr. Grinz. Is that weird fucking... Fort Wayne? No, no, it's Michigan. Michigan.

Oh, fuck. I don't know. It's one of those. Dr. Grinz was the one I went with you guys. You had to walk past a bunch of people eating on other floors to get up. Oh, man. Yeah, that's not the place I'm thinking of but now I do remember Dr. Grin's

I mean it's weird I think of things with gigs it's like PA merch situation like how hassle it was to sell or how great it was to sell merch and then performance Dr. Grin's great merch area hassle it was to sell or how great it was to sell merch and then performance dr.

In's great merch area. Yeah. Not so great when you're trying to sneak out to smoke weed. I realized right away that it was easier to go through the kitchen. People eating their salad, looking out the giant glass windows at me while I'm trying to hide and smoke weed. But when Doug had to go smoke,

you go through the kitchen and then there's a back dock area that is an open area back there. So once again, know the kitchen. Oh, wait. No, that's not. That's Indiana. That's Fort Wayne that you're talking about. Oh, no. That's Dr. Grin's office.

He's talking about the one I kept pissing in bottles that had giant bays. That was a place that used to be a sure microphone facility. Fuck, what was the name of that place? I did their opening before they were legally open. That was the place that had the pictures of dead comics. Yeah, and it was in the Sam Kinison room or the Rodney Dangerfield room was the smaller. One was a Kevin Meany.

Good room though. That was one of your best shows up to that point on that tour. No, Nathan Lane. Sorry, Nathan Lane. Same guy. I've been doing taxes. Why would it be Nathan Lane?

Not doing taxes, God forbid, but prepping my accountant. And I'm looking at dates we did last year, and that's like dates when I was a child or something. It seems that long ago. We were on the road. I was in Vegas a year ago with the Impractical Jokers

where they had like two of their events. They had this shindig. It was a private shindig but two of them were held at fucking Caesar's properties where I couldn't be there. And then that's when I got really sick.

Oh, just before the road. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. That's right. And I still think maybe I was the first COVID recovery. Your patient zero? You and everybody else that had a cold in January. No, no. This was September of last year.

What if that was COVID? You were sick for a real long time. Yeah, because I was in Traverse City when we had the three days off. Yeah. The place that you were talking about is Rochester, and it's Comedy at the Carlson. And we've done two shows there. And that was one of

the best shows on that tour oh yeah yeah yeah rochester yeah but they are the ones that have the the theater on one side and a smaller theater yeah yeah and then yeah those guys were great that whole facility that's where you uh were on the loading dock yep so they open the bay doors the big elephant doors that we we go in there and then they're like, well, we've got a green room. And Doug's like, this is fine right here. And it's like on the back door. It's pallets. It's an airplane hangar. And you and Olivia sat there,

smoked cigarettes, and you pissed back there. Yeah, I pissed in water bottles. Hey, if he needs to do the rest of my job, he's fine. He doesn't pee. He figures it out. He's like a bobcat. If he pees, he's like a bobcat he pees he pees uh it sounds to me like they were just trying to say hey can you have him not pissing water bottles out here i wasn't gonna tell him not to but you know what i gotta tell you that guy is

great he was we worked with him two times there the first time was when they first opened the venue. And before that, years before that, he worked at another club. And that's how we worked with him the first time. And I had totally forgotten about it. Do you have fire? I got it. For the documentary, I was going

through old pictures to see if I had any you know whiskey girl you know my pictures they died and like we still don't know how long they lived in the house that you now currently own

so I was just trying to find a timeline and I have no pictures of them whatsoever on my old computer, but I do have Chad Shank vomiting out the car door in Missoula, Montana. I thought that was gone with vine. She had a vine video of it and it was hilarious.

Must've been the gravy. Was the tater tots greasy fucking tater tots that made me puke from all the alcohol I poisoned myself with that was the beginning of the trip I don't know and the only story that I had

and I didn't think was appropriate to tell for the documentary but was whenever uh uh they all whiskey whiskey girl norman and bingo and bridget all showed up in texas yeah i forgot i i had that story in my notes and forget to tell it uh because because on the way back that was our first stop on the tour. And they came out bingo and whiskey and nowhere, man. Uh, and then on their way back while we were going North,

they stopped at a titty bar day shift and bingo evidently got up on the stage, danced. Uh, and yeah, I, I, I wanted her to tell her version, but they got lost in the shuffle. Like a Dusk Till Dawn stripper bar. Not like at Cheetah's in Vegas.

Yeah, it was maybe not even El Paso proper. I know the place because I've driven through El Paso a billion times. There's no way they're open. Yeah, that place looks shut down. Well, no, they're not. They're accepting applications. And those are always

the best titty bars were the ones that repugnant is that the right word? Good word. Like you want to go in like PJs in Alaska. Or good time Charlies in Kenai. We had one in Alaska called Moose Creek Lodge up by North Pole.

You're not fooling anyone with that name. The great thing about it was you'd go in there and you'd never know it was a strip club. It was just as strange that there were four girls at the bar. You'd just sit there and drink. And then if enough people were like, we need some strippers, then they became strippers. But other than that, you were just drinking with them.

In the bush, if there's four girls in a bar, it's a strip bar. Yeah. The problem is where you want to go in and rubberneck basically at, oh, my God, what's that atrocity up on the stage? The problem is there's not enough people to take the – you become the feature act when you walk in

because there's no customers for a reason. So you walk in and those girls that you were going to goof on from the back are all swarming you because you're the meat with possibly a $2 bill in your pocket. It was the best time we'd go to that Moose Creek Lodge when anybody was leaving or had a birthday, any sort of celebration, that's where we'd go because they would take that guy, bring him out on the stage, make a big deal of it.

You know, it was, you were spending money. They weren't used to it. It was literally a little fucking lodge, log cabin lodge in the middle of Alaska. And near North Pole. Yeah, yeah, by North Pole. It's not literally the North Pole. It's a place called North Pole. It's slightly north of Fairbanks.

Kenny just walked in. Now that Dusk Till Dawn in Sierra Vista has been closed for years, is Tucson the closest titty bar to us, 100 miles? Yep. Why don't we start a titty bar? Why don't we make the Funhouse a titty bar? Well, because you would have to do what every other titty bar has had to do here and get titties from Tucson because nobody wants to see local titties,

mostly because they've already seen them. Yeah. It just becomes fist fight central if you have local chicks in. That's my girlfriend. Yes, exactly. Maybe we could do Guess the Titties. We get one of those, like, the cutouts, you know, where you go to a tourist attraction and you put your head through the thing

and take a picture. No, you just put your titties through a thing. I'd put my titties in there. That'd be funny. We could turn this whole podcast into, like, a Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. And that's one of our staples. A reoccurring bit. I was trying to figure out how to do like a Patreon game show of people doing trivia about me against me.

Explain that. Like people who would remember bits that I forgot or remember stories we told on the podcast. Doug, where were you when this happened? And if that guy can ring in quicker. Again, I didn't. You couldn't recount that I was there in a cab ride with me and two other people, one your wife and the other opener,

and I was staying with you. You couldn't remember that I was there in Portland. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's some kind of... So could I win money? I don't know. Someone's going to have to work out the details on the rules of that.

I want to play. I think I'd trump everyone. You have people with traumatic brain injury, and you pit them against Stan Hope to see how accurate their memory is. Well, Stan, we're going to call it a tie. Let's call this a podcast and move on with our day. I had fun. Thanks for having me over.

We have to have Chaley seed us with some things about Tracy. No, I'm not doing. No. All right. She doesn't know anything about my past. I'm going to listen to this one. She'll find out as she talks. All right.

She said she'd do it if she's drunk enough. So I guess this will be a target of opportunity, they say. A regular podcast. Yeah, when we find her drunk anyway. All right, podcast now. Go. I remember Johnny. Fuck, I can almost.

Johnny Biscuit? Wow. If I remembered that name. Then I can almost, Johnny Biscuit? Wow. If I remembered that name. Then you can win that trivia contest. He was one of the headliners when I first started comedy. Johnny Biscuit is a comic? Yeah. Chuck Biscuit is a drummer, a punk.

No, no, Johnny Biscuit is a Utah guy. Johnny Bread is a cornbread manufacturer. Johnny Cakes? Johnny Cakes, yeah. He had a bit about, if you want a real beauty pageant, it should start unannounced at like four in the morning. You just kick in the door, pageant starts now.

That's our most fucking contest ever. They're all rubbing their eyes. Larry King said, Johnny Biscuit, one of the funniest guys ever. Wow. Wow. He's still,

he's got an internet presence. And Larry King pretended to know Sandy Koufax. JohnnyBiscuit.com. Wow. He's still, he does corporate comedy. Appropriate for any audience. Johnny understands and maintains community

and organizational standards. Wow. Dr. Johnny Biscuit. That's what it said. Wait, where? Right here. Oh, shit. Dr. Johnny Biscuit podcast.

That's not cool. So, Dr. Johnny. Does he have any dates? Butch Lord came by. Butch Lord is a comic that I've known since my fucking 1991 Phoenix days. And he stopped by and he just texted me. Hey, me and Ron Morey, another guy we started with. Another guy that has really no internet presence.

He has no dates. I don't know who. He's still doing gigs, according to Butch. Ron Morey was another Phoenix guy when I started there. But Butch, he just texted me saying, Hey, me and Ron Morey, we're going to do this show. And I don't know, Stanford and Sons or somewhere in the Midwest. They don't really have a budget anymore.

But I know you're in lockdown, but I'm just throwing it out there. And I hate that comedians are fucking working because I'm enjoying not working. And every time you work, not only are you endangering the lives of the people that come to see you, you're making me look like a douchebag for enjoying not working. You're reminding people that I'm not touring. Could be but I'm not. People bought tickets that they spent

money for and somehow I'm not going to be there. If Johnny Biscuit is fucking doing dates currently and I'm sitting here in the funhouse I don't see any dates on johnnybiscuit.com looks like you can book him for the fun house hey kenny i i made a nice uh shepherd's pie there

you're welcome to it before i already took a picture of it uh before it was uh impaled and eaten that i'm gonna tweet a picture of it. But you're more than welcome to microwave a plate of that. He has those headphones around his neck, like pulled down, and then that mask pulled down. It looks like he has a full-on respirator. He's like he's painting cars. Thank you, Tracy. I thought he had like a beard and mutton chops

when he first walked in the door. He's wearing his mask like you would, like holding in your beard at a catering line. I always remember when I leave the house that I don't have a mask with me or on the way here. And I text Stan Hope and I'm like, you need anything? And he's like, yeah, grab some cigarettes and some ice.

And I was going to text him. Yeah, no problem. Literally no problem because I'm sending Jenny in. So it's not a problem for me. I don't always forget. That's a good one. It compliments your lump. That's mine.

But I have one for Kenny. The shape of that. Doug, you can't share masks. That's fucking... That's fucking hilarious. That's so wrong. That's funny. You need to share a mask.

Here, try on my mask. Let's see how this looks on you. Keep it, Kenny. Take it. I'm getting to my point. First of all, I bought seven of these from China. And they smell like chemicals. Don't worry, I'm going to wash it anyway.

Because they smell like... We're just seeing if it's true now. If I go down with the vid, we know it's from Kenny's mask. The shape of Kenny's face with that mask was not appropriate at all. I know. It looked like some sort of a primate. It was not... It was appropriate for a nightmare It looked like some sort of a primate. It was not. It was appropriate for a nightmare.

It's very Planet of the Apes. It was funny when you had it on because it just looks exaggerated, you know, face. But with Kenny, like it protruded it like a snout somehow. Yep. It was not. I was a little scared, Kenny. These masks, they're very. Kenny's wearing his hat like a Y scared, Kenny. These masks, they're very...

Kenny's wearing his hat like a yarmulke. No, his mask. That's his mask. He said his hat. Oh, I didn't mean mask. I'm drunk. Oh, man, that weed's good. Yeah, I'm stoned.

Drunk, too. I just... Do you know the term cross-faded? Yeah. I don't. I never heard it. Hennigan said that. Oh, and that's why Brett Erickson and Kerry Mitchell are drunk all the time

and cross-faded in their apartment. And I said, cross-faded? I never heard that. I only know it in audio engineering. No, no. It means drunk and high, according to Hennigan. Oh, Hennigan might have made that up. Hold on, hold on.

We have a high person right here. A couple of people. Does that make sense? Yeah. It could. It's cross-faded. If you picture two files, two audio files, and you merge them together to where they seamlessly,

they kind of fade one into the other, right? That's cross-fading. How would... Well, young people would say faded is... Faded is fucked up. Fucked up. But if you're crossing it with different substances... Okay.

But the only way I know it is in the reference you're talking about too, and it doesn't make sense. Which doesn't make sense. All right. But the only way I know it is in the reference you're talking about, too, and it doesn't make sense. Which doesn't make sense. All right. Well, it was funny to hear Hennigan spewing lingo like he was one of the kids. He's running with millennium fucking lingo. That's pretty fucking cool.

Open that door. That fucking sun's down. Let's let some of the smoke out of this place before. I recognized a little while ago that the windows are open, which is probably why. I just opened the one in the middle. Oh, did you? Yeah, I didn't want to open all of them while we were working. Don't you love the light, though, in here now?

I mean, this is pretty nice. With the dark walls, you can have the light, which is way better. Yeah, this color reminds me of a Baskin-Robbins. Yes. That's a compliment. I think so. Yeah. Who doesn't want to be in a Baskin-Robbins?

I want to eat an edible and then want ice cream right now. Because you said it. We have Omaha Steaks, key lime tarts. If you can figure out how to make them. If you give me one hour i can uh i can cook a salmon because because it's gonna take 30 minutes to get the grill up but it'll take 30 minutes just to marinate the what about his steaks i get i get married i can get the steaks raw no i just ate fucking oh that's right you're shepherd by yeah all right sorry

didn't want to insult the host. I'm not the host. You're the host. Let's get out of this podcast. Hey, before we hang up, I have to do a commercial. Oh, yeah. Because I've been out of sight, out of mind for a long time. I'm on the Twitch stream, and Jovi says, it's because you're playing this stupid game,

so why are you losing subscribers? And then Mike says, you have to get a regular schedule if you want to have subscribers. And I said, no, you stupid motherfuckers. I got to go back on Stanhope's podcast and remind people to subscribe. Because most of the people that subscribe have never once tuned in to the Twitch stream. We have a cool community over there, and it's fun, but I appreciate all the subs. But now I'm down to about half that I used to have, and I'd appreciate more. The one that I regret missing, but our anonymous friend here recorded,

was on the Twitch stream the day after Joby's sister died. He was on there fucking goofing around and like really dark. That's the shit. You don't go there for fucking video games. You go there for companionship. I still don't know how

many people are stuck in some weird apartment and not going out. But yeah, go to some weird apartment and not going out. But yeah, go to the fucking Twitch stream and hang out. That's a good time. We hang out in the lobby more than we play video games. Yeah, which is a reason to go. Even when we go and then we chime in, everyone, oh, hey, what's up?

Yeah. Yeah. But people forget that it's a thing that you have to do monthly. Yes. I also do. Forget slash don't care, which I understand, but I'd appreciate it if you remember. It's free if you have Amazon Prime.

A good way to remember is to tune in to Issues with Andy twice a week on YouTube. We do pimp it out there. Yeah, we pimp it out there quite a bit with slides and everything. That's video. The other thing that people like is that usually it's verboten on Twitch. People that are in the chat hanging out

can't promote their own stuff that they do. But since I'm there, it's like coattail central. I'm there because of Stanhope. What kind of a dick would I be to be like, no, you can't promote your own thing in my chat. So everybody can promote and share their art that they do. And it's a cool little community that we've built up.

I'm sure there's some thank yous I'm missing. What? Hey, Doug. I got an email from someone who gave you a review for your No Encore

for the Donkey only available on Audible last podcast you dimed someone out as being

from Mindog TV yeah and he wrote me saying hey

just heard Doug say he knows a review was mine I hate to tell him he was wrong especially when he liked it and mentioned it on podcast hold on LOL I was trying to

say LOL I could use all the mentions I can get. Here is my actual review. This is Mind Dog. You did a, you started doing junkets with like a bunch of podcasts. And you stayed extra long on Mind Dogs. And you said, you thought one of these reviews for your podcast, for your book was on,

uh, for mind dog and it wasn't. All right. And so, and he wrote you a great review and he says, uh, every, he says also every comedian is coming out of the woodwork to be on my show.

Now. I love the opportunity to have a good comedian on and appreciate the gift of being able to talk to Doug Stano. That guy, that guy had his shit together. Yeah, I watched it live. It was good. Yeah.

That was the one that you watched? Okay, cool. And it's minddogtv.com. But his review is... Read the review because that's... I'll do it. You're going to read your own review? Yeah, because I stole this from...

He's wearing a Doug Stanoff podcast t-shirt. Come on. Drinking out of a Doug Stanhope rocks glass. Etched, not screen printed. Ashing into a previous Doug Stanhope podcast. I believe it was. No longer available. Vintage.

No longer available. I believe it was Chrissy Mayer's podcast where she read, like someone left a review of the podcast and she read one and that encourages other people to you're very nice to everyone that you did podcast with which is

really weird like even when like after when you're telling me about it and Tracy you were nice and it's like the edibles it's something it's changed him I like it Stan hope is the... Stanhope is at...

This is how the whole Audible thing goes. It's like me reading it all of a sudden. Stanhope is at his most brutally honest... I fucking hate that expression. I thought I came up with it 20 years ago, but it's everywhere. Bears his deepest wounds and mixes hysterically funny lines

into an epic human tragedy that somehow reflects the greatest love story ever told in this tale of sex drugs drink loyalty and betrayal and enough mental illness to go around we find a depraved but recognizable redemption and victory it's pretty well written Stanhope is clearly loving his chance to show off what a great writer he is. This story is one for every real person who is sick of fairy tales about love, life, and friendship

and just want to feel something real. It's not a comedy, but it's not without hard belly laughs. There is something in this story that every abnormal person will recognize in their own life. Nice. That's sick of fair tales thing.

That should go on the website. I like that. That's a, that's a good, that's a good line. Mind dog TV. And that's with two D's mind is not who wrote that. Oh really?

No, he wrote that. That's the one. I'm sorry. That's right. Ds. Mind. Is not who wrote that. Oh, really? No, he wrote that. Oh, that was his. I'm sorry. That's right. Come on, man. Sorry, I was drum stoned. You're cross-faded, bro. I am.

Holy shit. I'm drum stoned. All right. Hey, thank you guys listening. I don't know what you're doing. I like when you catch me up on Twitter about what life is like on the outside. Oh, and also check out this week's eBay yard sale. We do one item a week instead of doing it all at once. And this week is like a Chicago Bears beer tap. It's a set of beer taps and it says Chicago Bears just in time for football season. See how we're getting all the football shit out before football season? Okay, check

that out. You just go to eBay. And the only way to know if it's actually our stuff is the seller is Stanhope underscore podcast. Other people are selling a lot of Doug Stanhope things, but this is the only one that helps us.

And yeah, we'll be back with more. Cheers to everyone being back in the fun house. Cheers. Welcome back, Chad Shank. I missed it. Welcome back. What a good time. Your dreams were your ticket out.

That's it. Can't do anymore. Okay. Bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.