The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#455: Who Is Sleeping in the Little House?

Episode Date: July 25, 2021

Someone is sleeping in the little house and Doug demands an introduction.  Doug's new book, "No Encore For The Donkey" available exclusively at Audible.com - https://amzn.to/31uwvO0 Recorded July 18th, 2021 at the FunHouse in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Randolph (@RandolphSchulz),  and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - The Shady Dell Vintage Trailer Court - https://theshadydell.com/ Need more Chaille? Check out Mix Tape Time Machine Podcast with John Norris, Matt Collins and Ggreg Chaille - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mix-tape-time-machine-podcast/id1554596023 It's FREE to join Chad on his Twitch Channel. Go the Chad's Twitter page where he has pinned a tweet with instructions - https://twitter.com/hdfatty Ask Vodka Juicebox - [e-mail] (@vodkajuicebox) Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Photo Credit - Chaille Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Hey, welcome to the after hours, Art Bell type of the Doug Stanhope Podcast. It's probably like 4 or 4. I bet it's 420. Does anyone have a clock? It's 454. God damn it. Which means F1's on right now.

All right. We're going to watch F1. Can I bring the lights down? You can put the F1 on with the mute. I'll just watch it. Yeah, no. Throw it on. Wait a minute. Art Bell. Randall no do you throw it on uh i got art bell randall do you

know who art bell is i don't know that's why i brought that up explain art bell well randall randolph randall like uh i i just follow bingo's lead when it comes to randall's name because she calls him randolph but i think it's kind of like Justin Jason from the Shady Dell. Like, it could go either way. Randall is down from Anchorage. No. No? No.

As you're going to say, because he has a car. And there's no reason for him to have a car. Actually, I drove in from North Carolina. Get on that mic car. Actually, I drove in from North Carolina. Get on that mic. I drove in from North Carolina. Do you have the Michigan plates? So I live in Detroit. You fucking parked the wrong way.

Hey, tell Doug your trip out here. Like the time you were on the road. So it was about a 36 to 40 hour trip total um i knew i i met uh tarik the last time i was in and uh and we all jammed with bingo and tarik and everything and so uh so i i talked with tarik and we did we did a co-write

on a song i was doing in a different studio in palm Coast, Florida. And yeah, so I was inspired to come right with those guys. So you drove from North Carolina. My mother lives there in North Carolina, so I drove from North Carolina straight out to Bisbee. This time. Hardcore. How many hours?

36 to 40. Yeah, that's some Shane Gillis hours. Yeah. So 36 to 40. Yeah, that's some Shane Gillis hours. Yeah. So, bingo. Vodka Juice Box has a gig in a week or so. And Randall decided to stay 10 days longer than you were supposed to. I was actually asked to say. Yeah, because they're doing this show.

Well, I guess they're doing four songs at the quarry. I think five. We'll see. Whatever it is, you guys, I was out of town. You guys decided, oh, yeah, the Chalys will join in with Chaly, I'm assuming, on bass and Tracy on cello. And God knows what Randall does other than sleep all day. I don't know that you know how this happened.

I don't know that you know how this happened. Like, Randall came out to produce a song for a friend of his, a bandmate from another band. Not in Bisbee. Yeah, at Tarek's place. So Marcy Boland, she's from the band the Vombondis, she was doing a West Coast trip with a group of musicians that she's traveling with. And I knew that Tark was building up a studio.

She's a bass player herself. Renowned. Yeah. They did the, you know that show, the Rescue Me show with Dennis Leary? Yeah. The theme song from that show. That was her band's. Never watched the show, but at some point I grew up enough not to hate Dennis Leary because he stole a few jokes from Bill Hicks. That's what I know about Dennis Leary.

Like, yeah, she's probably not that big a deal in the long run. So she's working. Making money on a song that plays weekly. Yeah. Bombonis were a pretty big band for the garage rock movement. It was out of Detroit. They did like, you know, it was the same movement that the White Stripes came from

and stuff like that. So Marcy was a big part of that movement. And she's brilliant. She's fucking great. So we all, marcy was telling me she's coming to the west coast i said hey i have a guy that actually is starting a studio up in bisbee arizona why don't we meet up and uh and record there and so we started up a song and um and she did some features on she laid down the guitar tracks right for yeah for the song that

that bingo entire kind of you know now it's become adapted to the vodka juice box you know repertoire so she the label the label we'll call it she laid vodka juice box label she came out here laid down guitar tracks and then left and now we've totally fucking taken that song. And it's the one song that's the one we're working on the longest. For the listener, I hope you're listening at the same hour because it's close to 5 a.m. There's a drizzle of rain, which we desperately need here in the desert. And yeah, I woke up to take a piss and I saw you guys are still out here

and you're talking music. But I know, like, I have a few things to get done before I get back on the road. You know, some like home business things like changing insurance and stuff and that I'm waiting for Chaley to, we both just got back from vacation recently, and I have some stuff I need you for,

and you keep saying, yeah, well, we have, what are you doing tomorrow? Practicing with vodka juice box, because as I've said a million times, Bingo will literally spend three days to write a greeting card. Happy Mother's Day. And then she'll buy more greeting cards

because she screwed up. She didn't like the way she wrote it. No, she'll buy 50. Yeah, yeah. And maybe go through five. Well, I'm going to use them one day. So I wanted to do a behind the music because when you say I have to practice every day,

it's not because you need practice. Bingo comes over early, paces in circles like one of her turquoise cowboy boots is nailed to the floor. Have you heard from the Chalice yet? Because we have to rehearse. So I wanted to do a little behind the music of Vodka Juice Box. And I do this knowing they'll never listen. So you feel free to speak freely. And I do this knowing they'll never listen.

So feel free to speak freely. How much of that rehearsal is necessary? Because I know Chaley and Tracy, you don't play much at all, much less with Vodka Juice Box. I think fucking Randall was the catalyst to start this going. But tell us about your gig, upcoming gig. Hold on a second. Randall definitely

was the catalyst to light a fire, to get the energy behind all this. That definitely, that was it. And then we went over there one night just fucking hammered i think we were on mushrooms and we were just fucking around playing which is i never jam with anyone so on the on the actual track the uh we we started producing this track

that's right we were doing the whores right and so and so uh the one marshy yeah the one she laid the guitar tracks and she'd already left oh she was leaving in the process of getting out yeah she wasn't coming back and then and then so and so we uh we needed a bass player on on the track and couldn't find one so i showed up we we know that chile is a an amazing bass player. I know that for a fact. He's great. He's a fantastic musician.

And so when we needed a bass player in there, it became apparent that this would be a great idea, get the camp involved, and have some fun doing the track. And then from there, it just kind of started clicking, and Bingo and Tarek got really excited. That was a fun night. It's been. It's always fun when Bingo gets excited. You're like, oh, okay.

But the thing is, is that I think I was going over to maybe lay down a track, but I had no confidence in like. Or lay down tile. You never know what they say. Hey, could you come over for a minute? Is this artistic

or do I have to fix some electrical problem? Bring your screw gun. But I told Tracy, I go, I don't know if I should tell him, like, to begin with, look, you're not going to hurt my feelings. If you don't want to use anything that I do, I'm cool with that. Chase is like, don't say shit.

Bingo said, probably through Tracy, I don't know if she does, I heard Chaley said he's really nervous about playing. Not at all. It came from somewhere. No, I was nervous about I don't like jam. I play in cover bands.

The map has been laid down. I know what to do. I play in cover bands. The map has been laid down. I know what to do. I just hit rewind and listen again, and I'll figure it out. But playing with people, that's not... Like figuring out my last set and what I could bastardize into 18 months later. But I don't riff or hang out. I'm not really good at playing music. I can figure things out.

And so being in a situation like that. But I played with Bingo plenty of times. I love Tarek. I mean, he's a chill dude. And I know Randall. We've been in a band together. So it was actually a really good thing. So it was fun.

And we had a great time. Honestly, tracking was, was, was super painless. It was, it was, it was, it was,

it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was,

it was, it was underselling, understating again. Greg, you, you definitely destroyed on the track and you sound great. Actually, I took a bat to the equipment because I was so upset.

You, I, I, I have the audio from the recording if there's a point that you would like to listen to it to verify. No, no. I just know how psychotic Bingo gets

when she's involved with a project, which is a good thing. Because if she has no project, uh-oh, she might lose her shit. Psychosis and neurosis and artisticism, I think they definitely walk hand in hand, right? These are two things that aren't necessarily not synonymous, right? So, I mean, bingo is fucking brilliant. She's super focused right now, too.

Hyper focused. Yeah, the music aside from the psychosis, like'm gonna put my house on airbnb i'm gonna fucking eat pumpkin for the rest of my life like she's it's it's not about her you know worried about the music so much as worried about her inability to remember lyrics. Why are you doing this to yourself if it makes you so miserable? That's what I was asking. What is it like for you to work with Vodka Juice Box? See, I haven't seen that side you're speaking about.

This is the thing. I'm not super with with the camp you know you you know i mean i mean obviously i've known i've known you it is it is fully flared up right now yeah that that is what's going on i love how you liken it to herpes well it is a thing where fully flared up like blisters everywhere bingo has talent but she doesn't have the confidence to be in front of people so it's one of those things where like she will put herself to be in front of people but she is nervous the whole fucking time like crazy and it makes tracy nervous because tracy is is she sight reads she's used to looking she's classically trained on the cello.

Right. And we're going, no, just do the G to the A minor. And there's no A minor in cello. So it's like, if it's just on the sheet, I can. And I just try to tell. I go, just. I mean, technically, there is an A minor in the scale. There's a key of A minor.

So that's not necessarily true. You're getting our point. Tracy's not going to play an A minor. She might play something in the scale. There's a key of A minor, so that's not necessarily true. You're getting our point. Tracy's not going to play in A minor. She might play something in the chord, but when we tell her those things, she doesn't know because she's used to reading off the sheet music and she's feeding off of Bingo's energy,

which is pretty manic. So I'm trying to get- How's Tarek's energy in studio? Because I was invited and i almost went tonight i'll walk the dog he is so great and and that's that's probably the number one reason why i went up there that that's why i drove the fuck out here is because tarik's fucking target tarik's fucking amazing and it's it's not just like a like a subtle like oh he's okay like he's a musician but just in general as as a creative force that's it's he's got any doesn't he doesn't speak music theory like I speak music theory like

like I'm actually pretty well versed with with scale work with with production that kind of thing Tartt naturally is very good he's a feel guy he'll yeah yeah which is great because you need all types when you're in that creative process. And here's the thing, I've noticed that bingo is brilliant. Let me take it back a second. And this is why I'm curious

is because bingo is known for projects that are long-term, short-lived. 99% done and then dropped.'re gonna do a podcast they did three episodes and then well now i have to focus on playing this one song at the court so and that's fair but she's also produced some fucking brilliant goddamn work. Like, I mean, I'm sure you fucking know this. Yeah. You're very well aware. I was actually not as aware about this. And the other night I was actually listening through her catalog and it's fucking jarring

the things she's accomplished musically. Like, as a musician and as somebody that attempts to produce music that I'm not claiming I'm fucking, you know, Andy Wallace or anybody like that as far as the producer is concerned, but listening to the things she's accomplished as an artist and a musician, like, you know, sometimes the, you know, you're not always going to score a win. Does Bingo ever get like, yeah,

when a band is, run its time and someone's being, Bingo go, no no it doesn't go like that or is she just constantly going i'm trying to keep up i i don't think it's i i don't think it's either of those things i you know i i feel like she's uh she's starting to revel in her ability again right and that's she wants to know her part and that's the thing is like if she doesn't know her part she she will be like hold on a second and but i mean that's what you do when you're learning relearning yeah and what was her yeah and and and and the thing is that she's beginning to to revel in her ability again i think that's the important uh topic here is because

watching her with work with tarq he brings that out of her and I and I think that's that's you know that's the reason why they're they're they're staying together and they're and they're making fucking beautiful music you know and it's and and I'm and I'm hearing the things that they've just recently produced together and I'd love to just help be a catalyst to improve that and help help them to that in. That's great to hear because, as you know, I don't know anything about music. Hey, will you come watch our band practice? That's, to me, akin to, will you watch me write notes

and occasionally throw out a premise? And what's a good analogy for, yeah, I don't want to do that. It might be as exciting as watching you fill out a notebook, right? Yeah, and it wouldn't help. Like, Doug being in the room while we were going through that song tonight.

You have to have autonomy. And I'd just be going out to smoke on one of their balconies. And Bingo worried about it being right or whatever. I'm sure also that your opinion would be welcome in the room as well, because we're going through things that are very subjective. He'd say make it shorter and less loud. No, I would fuck with the lyrics.

The lyrics are... That's kind of where... Wanting. No, that's kind of where... I need some help there. Well, no. Tarek's song is so personal. Very personal, yeah.

And it's like... Vulnerable. Yeah. And then Bingo's song about whiskey and nowhere. That's my favorite. I rewrote. Very favorite. I wrote it out for myself because Bingo's script is kind of hard to read.

And I write it myself so I get it a little bit more. What Bingo says is Greg takes copious notes. Copious notes. I love that. That's the only word. It's like draconian always applies to drug laws. draconian always applies to drug laws copious always were response to notes or yeah over overdue overly diligent right this is a copious amount of diligence and that's but in my copious note writing I actually looked at those words

for that song and I was like that that's that's that song is a motherfucker you're talking about the taric anger and anger and anger and lead which uh she wrote about uh whiskey and nowhere oh okay and which was that which was actually written uh what she explained to me is that that was written pre-whiskey nowhere which i'm i'm not familiar with this like i'm familiar with the situation i was not here for that. No, there's no way. Yeah, but this is what she explained. This was actually written before that happened. I know.

In our house. That was right after his fiance had passed away from, I believe, leukemia or something of that nature. Lupus? Lupus, that's right. They were married. Well, common law but but you remember doug when we did the podcast with uh with nowhere and he was it was uh it was that weekend right before we went on tour and he's sitting in here in this room and telling us that she's gonna get like a heart transplant

or a brain transplant, some crazy thing. And I'm like looking across, I'm like, we're doing the podcast. It's the cliffhanger. It's like, like number 13. And I'm like,

looking at him going like, there's, there's, this isn't, this isn't how any of this works. What the fuck? But I'm like, what are we going to do?

Like reach across to this guy, shake his head and go, what the fuck are you doing? So we just let it go. Explain to him that he's rationalizing his wife's imminent death. He was setting up for everything that ended up taking place because we left a couple of days later and we're in New York when we found out everything. What it turns out. So Bingo had explained to me that she was alone during that time.

Actually, I'm very interested in the song, The Angerer and Lead because that's my favorite song. And so, I got to ask Bingo a lot of questions about this. So, she explained to me that this song, the pretext of this was the song was not written about their death, but it was actually a premonition about it, which is actually

more interesting to me because she had actually written the lyrics to that before he had taken his own life. Way cooler than saying, it's open to interpretation. I don't talk about my lyrics. But, you know, and that's what's so eerie about it, is that it seemed more like a premonition. I don't know, man.

Some of that stuff is so on point. Maybe she's a witch. I'm not implying that she's a witch. I'm not implying that she's a witch. I'm implying... I'm saying it outright. Yeah. She's a witch. Because this is Terrestrial Podcast

and I can't say the B word. I've seen... I'll tell you why she's a witch. I've seen Bingo turn a jar of mayonnaise into a meal. Fair enough. turn a jar of mayonnaise into a meal fair enough fair enough do you get to a point i would just assume because i again i have no idea of the musical process or especially counting on you have five people in this band for just this gig where just to deal with bingo's insecurities like she actually she doesn't she doesn't make them well known she does a really good job of uh of holding back and i think she's she's she's uh she's been beautiful she makes it

well known when she comes over in the morning going, can we just kill ourselves? I don't know what to do. I'm trying to run a business and write new songs and rehearse and this and that. See, Randall doesn't know. No, she doesn't make that apparent to me. Hold on a second. You don't know what her insecurities are. The intimacy of

her insecurities no she doesn't make them apparent to me because i'm i'm not you know i'm i'm not her lover or her best friend or anything of that nature i'm i'm you know i'm i'm a new friend and and the idea is is that i'm here to help to to help her to achieve a goal that she has for production but what i was going gonna say was you don't know that but i do and she's not showing that she's not showing totally that's that's what's really cool yeah well that's why i say she had a fucking one shoe nailed to the floor walking in circles waiting for chaley to and tracy to to commit to the timeline of the rehearsals today yeah we're doing a podcast and we were driving back from palm springs and we kept getting texts from bingo what time we were going to be there

but we had to do a bunch of pre stuff for uh you don't have to justify or rationalize that it's obviously a fixation right so it's a fixation and which which is what is what made her commitment to her art is what made just a little patience say yeah she has no patience whatsoever so we got we got here at 5 45 on friday and it was she was when are you coming over and it's like we just got back from like a four-day vacation what we got to unload the car and it was one of those things I don't want to be a dick we'll be over there but at the same time I appreciate

she is gung ho so that means she's excited and she's focused on what she wants to do you could call it manic or fixated but that's subjective that's where I'm maintaining that's yeah you know and that's that's where i'm maintaining that for sure and and she has not shown me she's made it a a a task to not

show me that side of her and it's not there while we're playing it's not there it's not totally creative and uh no when when she when she's feeling these ways. And I noticed, like, I'm not blind to ambiguity or to the reality of fixation. You know, I myself have a lot of mental illness issues, right? You're fucked up. I'm a fucking retard. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to fucking sugarcoat that for myself whatsoever.

So the idea is that, but she has been more than hospitable and never once shown me that mania that you guys are expressing which i think that also shows a high level of competence and that's high functioning right that that's that's that's a that's a great well it's a great thing bingo will you know uh leave for a flight eight hours early and be happy to be at the airport for that long just because she knows she's going to catch that flight yeah she doesn't want to fuck things up right but she also if she packed her bag she wants to leave and if she's going on a flight she packed her bag three days early okay can we go now but you can't even check in for a day

so yeah that kind of mania leads to the most impatient bingo today earlier we did a podcast earlier and she was impatiently

waiting them to finish the production with you before they could come over and do the rehearsal. Doug said, we'll be done in 90 minutes. And I set my timer on my phone for 90 minutes. At 90 fucking minutes, my timer went off and Doug's phone was ringing. You guys gave her a timeline and she stuck to the timeline. But once that time was up, she was fixated. You guys gave her a timeline and she stuck with the timeline.

But once that time was up, she was fixated. But in that 90 minutes, she had one turquoise cowboy boot nailed to the floor and walked in circles like a fucking Three Stooges thing. It has to be done now. And once it's done, it's a postpartum depression, which I understand. part of depression which i understand which is which is why i'm trying to uh like put it out there that the the journey to the gig is going to be the fun part and this has already been the fun part there's nothing not rewarding if she's ready for the journey to start it better start now otherwise she's miserable no no that's not that's not what I'm seeing. I'm seeing her actually working on these songs and making sure that she's got it down. Yeah, but she came over.

Hey, can I come over and cry? I'm like, yeah, come over. Maybe you shouldn't share everything, Doug. The point is, if she is motivated, it has to happen now, which on some level, we all understand, hey, when is Santa coming? I'm going to pretend to sleep until Santa comes down and leaves me presents. She has zero patience, and a lot of that has been manic. But no, since the traumatic brain injury, that was one of the first things. I was going to say, I think you're implying about the TBI that it's related to this.

And obviously it is, right? So the mania. It was never good. No, it's the patience. I want this to happen now. And otherwise, I don't know what to do with myself. So I don't know if you not that you fucking would care or be aware um but my so not that not to discount uh anything so so so my

mother he doesn't even know you right exactly i didn't want to be uh you know be have you guys met so so so my mother has a tbi she has frontal and temporal lobe damage, and she fixates on issues, and she gets mania. Issues with Andy? I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. No. I'm getting a drink. Okay.

Fair enough. TheShadyDell.com. That is where you stay if you come to Bisbee and you're staying at the Shady Dell And I'm in town, I will have a beer with you I won't hang out that long We're not going to be good friends I don't want you to fucking tell me you're going to kill yourself But if you're staying at the ShadyDell.com

Vintage trailer park With all 50's, 60's trailers That we live a mile away from And we look for reasons to go stay there. Come to theshadydell.com. Sponsored by... I might even come in and clean your toilet. I don't know.

So with my mother, she expresses the same kinds of impatience, and she runs around in circles. A lot of times she gets mania. If I don't answer her first phone call, it's five more phone calls within the hour. And these are things that happen with a TBI. And these are personality-changing events. Now, it doesn't change the overall character of the person, but it definitely changes behaviors within the TBI.

Traumatic brain injury for the listeners for the yes i forget we're not just talking to ourselves but yeah traumatic brain injury so my mother had an extreme uh issue of or an extreme case of traumatic brain injury um the reason that i'm even allowed to be able to afford to travel around vagrantly like I do in my Nissan Versa with the Michigan plates is because my mother got hit by a very expensive van. And so this is when I was 15 years old. She's like Tracy Morgan. Oh, wait, no, he was in an expensive van.

That's good. So my mother has what's called acute aphasia. man. That's good. So what? So my mother has what's called acute aphasia and she also, she has a lot, a lot of personality disorders is what they call them that come with that, which is grandiosity is one. And I'd like to say, but the Randy and grandiosity,

but there's a, there's a real cycle. You know, there's a real disorder that goes with that. And, and she also has perseverance, which is what I believe in this case is what that might appear to be. Explain for the listener.

Perseverance. Yes. So, perseverance is fixation, right? And this is what you're defining as a mania, right? Can you use it in a sentence? Country of origin? Thank you. Thank you for that input there so so for separate perseverance is uh is is when you

know it's perseverance you know uh personified in in a manic form or in a psychological form and perseverance is is is that impatience that you're speaking about and i think i think that's what you're talking about there yeah and that's that's what the boot nailed before right and and the second that that you're not getting the thing that you want when you want it and the way that you want it to be. Well, I just, hey, can you help me with this? Something minimal. And then she'll be in the house literally walking in a circle, staring at her phone, refreshing her phone. I want to help, but I texted so-and-so, and I'm waiting for a text back. Well, it'll go ding-ding.

When you get it, you can just fucking help me fill the ice trays. It's an emergency. Everything's an emergency, right? And that's a part of perseverance. And so I'm actually glad that we get to sit here and talk about this because this is a big part of TBI. Perseverance is one of the a big part of TBI. This is perseverance is, is, is one of the most common parts of a traumatic brain injury.

And, and it doesn't necessarily, uh, connotate or denote, um, incompetence. It, it,

it honestly makes, makes somebody that, that might not have been, been able to do the things that we were able to do before. This is a compensation. Yeah. Right. So,

so that I think, I think it's something that is beautiful. It's a recovery stage. That's my opinion on that. I've been dealing with my mother's brain injury for a long time. Bingo's. What happened

to your mother? She got hit by a medical supply van when i was 15 years old and she got a frontal and temporal lobe damage which uh she put her in a coma she went into a coma for for a good like i'd say two months and then she had to go into traction you know where you understand what traction is by chance where they have to put a rod in her case it was you know it was they had to debilitate her from movement so she had a brain injury but she also had a shattered a shattered pelvis right so completely shattered and so they had to put a rod through the under underside of

her knee to uh to keep her from moving her hip area or her pelvic area and in the meantime when she's got that rod through her knee she's wearing wearing a diaper, spitting at me and calling me Jimmy during her traction period. You look like Jimmy, though. Is this my fucking crappy bullet? If you've dealt with traumatic brain injury, you go, oh, wow, I didn't know they were such a cunt. Or that God isn't real. they were such a cunt. Or that God isn't real.

But Doug, like everything that we think of traumatic brain injury is from 2016. He was 15 years old. Yeah. That's fucking. It doesn't matter the age that you're coping with that at that point. I think it does. It definitely. I mean, you saw me.

I think I would have dealt with it better at 15. Maybe, yeah. It was easier to process, I'll be honest with you. You would have changed your diaper at 15. Not at 15. Unless it's your own. Well, thankfully, the good people at Good Shepherd Hospital do that. At 15, I would have changed that diaper and went, hey, do you think she wants to buck?

Serious ededipus. I'm just talking about. Doug, that's your mom. Oedipus comp like. I was talking about bingo. Oh. Yeah. No, the point is, at 15, changing your fucking girlfriend's diaper, you're like, wow, there's

her pussy. I get it now. But at 15, you're like, wow, there's her pussy. I get it now. But at 15, you'd just get another girlfriend. You would just run away at 15. When I dealt with Bingo, it was, you know, I'm too old for this shit. Wake up and get the fuck out of here.

We have a gig. That is a thing that happens. I'm sure she wanted to i'm sure she really would have loved to get out of there when she became conscious again you know that's it when i was taking care of my dad who i for like two years i i had to do the diaper stuff and all that stuff i walked my mom to take a piss every time she had to take a i had to go after traction i had to tell my dad i think i got all of it it. And I'm between it. But the best is when my mom woke me up in the middle of the night and said, hurry, come to the bathroom. And I go in the bathroom, my dad standing up, white tile and like blood dripping from his scrotum.

And I'm like, what the fuck? And my dad's like, I was just itching. And my dad had these long fingernails. Because they weren't clipped. Yeah. And so he scratched his scrotum. End of days. And he's bleeding by the balls.

And I'm down on my knees, head high in my dad's junk. Dick is in your face. And my mom is freaking out on what's going on. I go, get me a styptic pencil. That's how old we are on this podcast. Get me Mercurochrome

and a styptic pencil. Bite down on this leather, dad. It's gonna sting. He had to saw off his balls civil war medical tent style amputation

the point is that you as a caregiver or someone associated with someone that has that kind of situation going on it's normal for you to feel resentment and i felt guilty for a long time because i was mad and then i when i was informed that that's normal i kind of made peace with it

i hated my mother i hate especially the let me let me make one thing clear i this isn't me um trying to like fucking pat to break my arm, jerking myself off on my fucking shitty childhood or me trying to say, feel bad for me, simply bullshit. I'm actually proud of the person I've become

by overcoming this issue. I just want to make that clear. That's what happened with me. That's a point that needs to be clarified. I've gone through a lot of things. Wait, when it comes to coming back out on the road and trying to deal with some of these issues that are fucking, like everything's a hot point issue,

including the fucking autistic schlub at dollar tree saying no you have to put on a mask everything is a point of contention yeah and that's and and it's it's not just vitriol goes beyond vitriol it's not some petty grievance it's everything is an emergency you know and that that's where i come back to that and it's and this is where i get uh five phone calls from my mother um you know every fucking day you know and this this kind of stuff it it doesn't necessarily go away uh we learn how to cope with that as as because it's it's not just the the the loved ones that we care for that survive the brain injury we all have to do that together and it it it can make you angry like i remember viscerally angry yeah come on stop pulling the fucking tubes out of your arms like okay yeah i i should have more compassion and sometimes you don't should would could these are abstractions all right these are uh right wrong

these are these are abstract ideas is not that that doesn't exist with with reality right the the real life version is is that we figure out how to how to how to move forward from those i was telling randall about uh rock island when bingo went catatonic yeah and how like like when we got back to like we before the gig we had to pull out of the denny's like three men had to carry a woman over their heads in a prom dress out of a denny's like stiff as a board light as a feather into a road crew rental van yeah and then we did the gig she was still fucked up we go back to the fucking la quinta and we pulled her out of the van and the whole time i'm looking at her going like just fucking wake up all right just fucking snap out

of it yeah it's yeah the the intolerance where you go come on you should be like me and i have bad days too that and that exactly and that's and that's where we're we're fucking up and that there's there's uh you know there's always that aspect where we're we're not going to stop fucking up either you know and and and it's not it's not going to it doesn't it doesn't become overnight like this oh no i've come to the light and i and i recognize exactly how to fucking handle this this this uh this disorder this is for this dysfunction it's it there's no easy way there's no yeah i i i've been working on bits but all right yeah i know as a on that one album especially a huge proponent of mental illness but when it someone's mentally ill at you. At home. Yeah. It's just, at some point you go fucking just grow up and shake it off. Like,

you know, that's not. Like a little league coach. Yeah. But it's. Walk it off. Yeah. It's a fucking,

it's a, it's a, it's a default. Like I could be better traumatically brain injured than you. If I was the, I would just fucking get up and do the goddamn dishes. But, but the fact that we recognize the,

the, these, these, these processes and that, that were introspective enough to identify them, that makes us healthy for these environments, right? This is,

this is where the people that are unhealthy and unethical in these environments, they go to great extremes to debilitate, further debilitate the people with TBAs that are involved. Valley Hospital in Phoenix, that's where Bingo was. I still feel shame for not going out of my way to fucking destroy them personally. But yeah, she got put into a prison. A prison. And they define it. define it this thing that gets defined my mother would define uh these care groups she was in a remed

facility was what it was called in uh in paoli pennsylvania right right outside of philadelphia and they they were they were actually designing because because we got a lot of money out of that you know a medical supply ban hit my mother so there was a lot of fucking money our litigator was shane inspector arlen specter's son the 30-year senator this guy he walked into a room a medical supply van hit my mother so there was a lot of fucking money our litigator was Shane Inspector Arnold Inspector's son a 30 year senator this guy he walked into a room

I was fucking scared I'm not scared of a lot of people this guy fucking horrified me because he was educated enough to just get away with whatever he wanted to he was

I watched this guy do a fucking linear equation in his head in the courtroom and I don't know if you guys remember that from algebraic equations

these things are fucking long term wait he's doing Algebraic Equations while he's supposed to be trying? Was he Matt Damon in that movie? Like, legitimately. On the chalkboard?

His fucking 30-year senator father paid for him to be Matt Damon. And this was clear in his education. It was insulting watching this guy walk into a room because of how he carried himself.

It was insane. But he was your lawyer. he was our lawyer so so yeah so so but so why were you scared well i still knew that that's exactly right so i knew to be a judge was scared yeah exactly right exactly right his co-counsel was the governor's kid and then you look like butthead from people's and butthead it was it was it the whole spalding from fucking It was the whole thing. Spalding from fucking Caddyshack. It was insane. So this guy. Keep your pants on.

So this guy destroyed this insurance company litigator. And she was brilliant. She was great. And she wore, you know, she looked like shit, but she was fucking brilliant. And this guy just fucking mopped the floor with her. It was insane watching this thing go down. So we end up getting a very large settlement from this. And what happens is when that goes down,

they make you put that money from an injury into a trust. Like you can't just, they're not just going to hand the guardianship. You spears it up. They spears it up. Exactly, exactly. Topical, nice. And so then they start,

then these medical groups they start trying to trap her into these facilities Randall hold on a second back to the the trust who makes you do that

the judge it's actually the judge that allows the conservatorship what's a conservatorship you're aware of conservatorships now

yeah Britney Spears Britney Spears was a joke up until now where you're like oh that's actually a cause to fight for a real life yeah everyone was on her side issue but i just think the judge was britney alone is gone to hey no you're fucking with people with mental illness on the highest scale but there's also the issue that we don't see is what her behavior patterns were. And to relinquish a conservatorship to a private party is also a very big liability.

So you're looking at a situation where, okay, well, we can take the conservatorship. You're talking about Britney. Britney, right. And so this also relates to the situation here. So it's my personal situation, which is why I feel like I understand it pretty well. This is trust law. Right. And so with conservatorships, they don't want to relinquish guardianship of a large trust to a private entity because it's more liable for ethical fraudulent, ethical misconduct than it is from an actual family member. And it's still monitored by the judge or the clerk of courts that's presiding over that jurisdiction, right? So you've got this judge that's saying, okay, well, there's a public opinion, but I have to disregard that public opinion and work for what's in the best interest of the actual

beneficiary or the incompetent party, right? So as much as Jamie Spears is not publicly liked at this moment, he may actually be providing the best possible care for her well-being. And they're not disclosing publicly her actual behaviors because we're not privy to that. No, we saw the bald head and the Vegas. The initial freak out. Yeah. And then lights out. And the fact that she testified on her own behalf doesn't necessarily negate the fact

that she is probably incompetent. I mean, there's probably overwhelming... And the idea is that a judge... What they do is they give what's called a multidisciplinary evaluation. And she was trying to bypass that when she was saying, I don't need to be tested anymore.

But she didn't want to be judged by... She didn't want to be evaluated by... Not by not by a panel it's actually a third party um independent evaluation like a therapist or someone well no it's a neuropsychologist betterhelp.com yeah so it's right and so and so that's what she would prefer because then she could purchase her own testimony 10 off if she used uh doug stanhope.com very Very fair. Okay. So, by the way. Bingo is, and this goes with prisons. Like, once you've aged, you kind of got your shit together on some level. For the most part.

You're already preconditioned. Yeah. Oh, I've been in prison for 20 years. Well, yeah, now that you're fucking 50, you're probably not going to be a clear and present danger to the fucking populace. Guys who are 50 go back into prison all the time. Just because you're 50 doesn't mean you're not going to be. Well, a lot of times they typically break the law

so they can go back to their old system. Point being, when we were kids, we did fucked up things. Yeah. And when you get to our age, you don't do fucked up things. You're afraid of doing fucked up things. Yeah, because you saw, oh wow, and that's why you're afraid of children, because you were one and you were a cunt.

You were a fucking detriment to society. But I think that people like Bingo, who uh been well medicated and almost invariably on their own terms all right i'm talking to a some kind of fucking skits doctor that has no idea what they're talking about her condition I can do this better than my doctor I got the prescription from you but I know how much I should take and I know how to lie to you I mean hold on a second part of bingo's condition is she will regulate her own meds not according to what a doctor says

but that's a self medication issue and that was we we and we've had problems on regulate her own meds, not according to what a doctor says, but what she says. That's a self-medication issue. We've had problems on tour with that. I just want to say, I wildly feel uncomfortable about talking about bingo in the third person, but I will say that self-medication is a rampant problem with TBI.

With my mother, we went through that. And I could speak on my mother's case on this. And with her- I was talking about her mental illness, which again, we always have to decide, is that her normal crazy or is that TBI crazy? But when she's medicated, she is at one level. And then part of her condition is

to self-regulate the medication so self-medication she doesn't go off her meds she has in the past so when that happens then then there are consequences um that that are actually physical and psychological for for the patient that when that happens that they they my mother is my citing example here where she she has stopped doing that because it has actually landed her back in the behavioral ward, which is legitimately a place where they put psychological prisoners. They put prisoners that have committed crimes and they mix them in the behavioral ward with people that just have behavioral issues or people that have dysfunctions or that kind of thing. So my mother does not want to go back to those places. So there's a negative reinforcement there

for manipulating medication. Well, the last time Bingo was in a mental hospital, it was with- Prisoners. Addicts. Yeah. And they treat you like prisoners. They take your belt, your shoelaces,

all of your fucking dignity. And that's that lyric. I think you literally just spoke- Her lyric. your belt, your shoelaces, all of your fucking dignity. They, they, they, they, they, and that's a lyric. I think you literally just spoke her lyric. And that's, and that's, and that's something that, that, that I also think with my mother, when I watched my mother go through that,

she, she, she, it was a negative reinforcement enough for her where she didn't want to manipulate her medications anymore. But when you have a disagreement with your doctors and your doctors aren't listening to you this is also that's a whole another ball of wax right there that's a whole ball yeah the the the one of the two like uh moral conundrums uh one is okay should you be allowed to raise your kids that way?

And the other is, if someone is a danger to themselves or others, how do you do it? Being committed to a mental institution, you have to understand what a mental institution is. And Valley Hospital, which is the one I have a grudge about, she was put in a county, basically. Yeah, it's a behavioral ward. You're put in a county jail. But she's with people who are fucking tweakers and addicts and fucking anger management, violent type of people. And you can't combine that. You don't put fucking cancer patients in the fucking diabetes ward or whatever. I don't have an analysis.

So one thing I will say to argue that fact is that Bingo did express to me that situation that she was in with those patients. that situation that she was in with those patients and when you guys had come to visit her in that ward, she was lit up about the fact that you guys gave all those other patients like a reason to live. No, didn't you bring like different things to wear, like regular clothes from the thrift store? Yeah, but no, I'm talking about the last time when she was up in Phoenix. Oh, no, when she was basically arrested.

Yeah. No, she- She couldn't call us. Volunteered. Listen, my meds aren't working. I'm coming off them. It's probably best if I'm in a psych ward. But no, they put her in a fucking prison.

And then they locked her the fuck down. We couldn't contact her for like two days right like they wouldn't yeah oh as soon as as soon as she lands she'll be able to call you and i'm like oh she doesn't have a whatever number yet and then they hold them hostage and then they hold them hostage and then they hold them the fuck hostage and this this happened this is actually a situation i went through with my mother as well she volunteered herself at one point because they they changed her from her mood stability pills from, I think, uh,

to some new experimental drug. And it was not working out. Well, it wasn't, it wasn't at all. And, uh, and so she committed herself in there and then they just held her.

They locked her down in there. And then she had to spend Thanksgiving. I spent Thanksgiving with her in this place. So, and, and it was, it was probably the protocol when you get transitioned from one to the other, then you get like, they don't, they don't have separate wards this is what doug

the thing is what you're trying to say is that there's no separate there's no separate protocol it's all behavioral so it's all felons non-felons bingo was cell mated with a fucking uh a black The fucking black crazy gangbanger version of Gross Burger from Stir Crazy. No one's going to get that reference. But I sure mean, go shut her fucking down. At some point, she's like, listen, we're all in this together. And the lady stopped. I don't want no motherfucking roommate. Let me ask you a question.

And so I went to the last time when my mom had that same situation. no motherfucking roommate let me ask you a question and and so so i uh so i i wanted last time when my mom had that same situation i went in with an abundance of candy and my mother took the candy and she would hand it out to all the people around the the block so to speak and they actually kept a lot of peace there and they started limiting the amount of candy i could bring in because of the fact that it could have caused a disturbance within, within the community there. Everyone wants to bid a honey. Right. Everyone wants to bid a honey.

Right. So it was like Twizzlers and shit like that, but it was, it was, it was enough of a commodity where my mother could, could at least trade for her piece, you know, in there,

which is fucking horrifying. That is, if you think about it, we did that. That's crazy. Bingo at Valley fucking Arts and Crafts. I don't know. I'll never remember the fan that sent that.

But when we were doing that on the podcast, that was their therapy was doing arts and crafts. Mandatory. Yeah, mandatory. What's that fucking shitty movie that Ben Stiller did? The one where he's like, oh, you're going to do arts and crafts. It makes them knit to sell their... We were on the road one time, and Doug, we were...

It was the Midwest somewhere, and we went to a thrift store and sent Bingo a bunch of clothes. Yeah, yeah. That was Lexington, Kentucky. Yes. Derby. Is it the derby? The horse thing. No, no.

The poor house or- It was the Brown Derby. Not the Brown Derby. No, no. No, because that was back when we were doing- Because we did Columbus the night before and I got the call right before I went on stage and

Tell the story. Right before you went on stage Yeah, I get the call that Bingo's getting locked up and then I had to go out on stage and address the elephant in my head. It's not your room but it's my room, my head and I'm like, alright, this is fucked.

Yeah, show didn't go so good because I didn't have jokes about it yet. No refunds. I'm still processing this. Excuse me for not. But the next day, we went to a thrift store and bought like the craziest shit because she had no clothes.

She had like a gown or something. That was her request. Louisville was the poor house. So it might have been Louisville. It was Kentucky. So yeah, she's like, yeah, they locked me up. They wouldn't even let me have shoes.

So yeah, we bought her. We've talked about this on the podcast. I actually have heard this story it's actually a fond memory of you guys because I was asking her we just sent her the goofiest clothes and the only shoes we sent her were oversized like Charlie Brown

slippers like giant bulbous yeah so we packed it all in like like clowns into a small car into a like a overnight thing god damn it do we laugh laughing

I mean coming back to the I guess the more point like the point issue is yeah that those behavioral wards are a fucking sideshow for sure and it's it's it's not it's not medical care it's it's uh it's i i just uh listened to a book in audible uh about uh it's it was called prison by any other name and it it lost me there was too many statistics and you know 17.3 percent of the people are eight percent of but the one thing i go there there was one chapter about it's about like uh uh home arrest

house arrest how it allows the system to actually keep even more people arrested. But one of the chapters was fucking mental health. Yeah, no, they put you in basically jail. Yes. And it's just like prison. It's not rehabilitative. It doesn't do anything. Bingo never saw a fucking real doctor

other than a head count for the time she was locked up at that fucking Valley Hospital in Phoenix. I still feel bad about not. I don't know when it happened, Chaley, that I go, I don't know when it happened, Chaley, that I go, I'm too lazy to go fucking afflict on every emotional, personal, and safety level of people that have fucked over my wife. I should have done more about that.

I did my due diligence like I used to do. Bernie Ebers went to fucking prison, and I like to think I was behind it. I wasn't. MCI is a long story. Our first cell phones. They fucked us over. But that guy did like fucking 20 years in prison. I want Valley Health to have the same fear.

Valley Hospital. Yeah. But you wrestled with that for a while and then you decided to back off because you thought it would do more harm than good. To her, yeah. And to future patients. So when my mother was subjected to her prison stay, as I'm referred to it now.

I'm listening and I'm pissing. So my aunt Denise was the conservator at the time. She's dead now. Keep talking into the mic. Well done. Thank you. Oh, I thought you killed her. I get it. So your aunt was the conservatorator she was a conservator until she passed away so what

is a conservator they they make all the decisions so a conservatorship is is long it lumps in both financial and personal health decisions into one role that's interesting because uh when when i was uh taking care of my parents uh they wouldn't let like my brother did the financial and i did the health right they didn't want one person it's it's a conflict of interest yeah right and that's the you know that that's a huge conflict of interest so so uh so my aunt was was actually in charge of both aspects. And so I had caught her doctor shopping at one point because she was trying to basically, she thought that she knew more than the doctors did on the medication aspects. And so she would shop doctors, which is highly unethical, terrible fucking circumstance. I think it's illegal.

Well, it's definitely, the term doctor shopping is illegal, but trying to prove a doctor shop is a whole other conundrum, as you say. So the issue is, so I actually, I had started filing petitions at this point. Petitions to take over the conservatorship? No, to have the conservatorship modified. It's called a modification of guardianship, right? So my aunt and niece had full control over my mother's finances and her medical well-being.

So I had filed a petition against her to modify the guardianship to have third-party enterprises come in. Much like Britney Spears is trying to do against her father. She's trying to get a third-party. Did. She failed at this. No, Britney Spears didn't to do against her father. She's trying to get a third party. Did. She failed at this.

No. Britney Spears. Didn't she? There's breaking news on Britney Spears. And I don't know what it is. Oh, is there new news? Oh, no. I thought she got a new lawyer.

And Instagram something. Hashtagging her own free Britney. Right. But your aunt is going to. She's going to go against you and go like oh he just wants money exactly and then so that that became the point of contention in filings and that's exactly right so she started she started uh lodging this legal campaign against me with my mother's own money which was insane to me oh because she's in charge of the money

so she pays for any litigation against the conservatorship because she's she's technically protecting yeah the the well-being of my mother so so it was it was it was a uh it was a fuck show and uh and i got a really long way with that one um i actually actually got to the point where um i was going to file for what's called an intervention a motion for intervention and to have um to have it all reviewed by a third-party counsel. What also happens is when you're- Is that like a judge? Or like someone-

What they call it is a guardian ad litem that happens there. And what a guardian ad litem is is a third-party lawyer that the court appoints to look out for the best interests of the disabled. So they listen to both sides and they go i i side with this and they give the opinion to the to the and that's binding it's not binding the the binding opinion is of the the clerk of courts or the or the you know the presiding judge all right so they submit it to the judge and the judge goes okay how fucked was your mother um just just to throw some levity into this right so so so give us examples of how fucked your mother was so what she'd do there you go she had a diaper and a rod this was at the beginning of her injury yeah and there was

also a large recovery process and this is after the recovery process. She actually lives on her own. She lives in her own house. She maintains her home beautifully well. She does a great job. She's functional in a lot of different ways. She still needs to have a driver. She can't drive a car. You know, these kinds of things. Are you still Jimmy?

No. Okay. No, that's been fixed. But there's moments where I can see that she's trying to hold that back as well. You know, the aphasia. So, in this instance, I was confident in filing against my aunt and niece because the issue here is that they don't actually evaluate the conservator. They evaluate the disabled. So, they don't give an Mde to the person that's taking over the

guardianship a multidisciplinary evaluation which means it's basically just a psychological overall psychological evaluation with all the different uh you know practices i got one of those for throwing oranges in the quad in high school they give you an md yeah when am i permanent record that's why he's slumming it with me that's why I work on a podcast I'm not in local local Tucson TV K-Gun

they won't have me so long story short that was the legal argument no it's already long if you want to make it short you have to get Chaley to edit it. No editing on this one. You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. So, yeah, so you're playing with vodka juice box right that's how it all gets started we're

talking about bingo and her traumatic brain injury results after effects what uh what she is now and there's not a lot of difference that I can see other than things like patience and I mean... Nuances. Not like... Our memory has always been shit between us, between her mental illness. She never knew what day it was while we were on the road.

That wasn't a thing. Would you like a mixer with that, sir? Sure. Yes, please. Can I have some of that? Maybe some ice? No not fuck that up yeah no you need at least a bar fire anyway it doesn't matter i you know the thing is is that it's it's been a progression like bingo's recovery is taken and we we knew this but yeah this for me? Yeah. Thank you. But we're impatient because we don't have TBIs and we have shit to do. And we were told this is going to take a long time if it ever happens, the progression.

And you remember when, Bingo, we spirited her away to the house that you rented? Yeah, we checked her out of brain rehab to go have Thanksgiving dinner. No, we stole her out at one time. And then we had guitars there to play. And it was one of the saddest moments for me because I'm like. Her mother was there. Yeah. It was really like her voice now is way stronger also had a never break in yeah i know for

for the record when she was trying to play for her mother her mother was the most she was looking forward to was hearing bingo play and she got uh i oh it was i think it was me sitting on the top of the couch behind her and holding her fucking... Stoma. What do you call it when you do a bong hit? The carburetor. The carburetor on Bingo's neck. So she could make sounds. The air could come out of her mouth.

Yeah, that made Mother even more sad. But she's doing fine but at the same time on a daily basis considering suicide and like when we talk about it almost daily yeah it gets better it does yeah but is she i have the same problem with okay, let's go back to the fucking lady we raised the money for, the atheist. Witzman? Yeah, Rebecca Witzman. I was so over the moon that we could make that happen. But as soon as it's done,

I have to do that all the time. It's chasing a high. It's a fucking junkies chasing the high. Brandon, do you know the story? No. Chad Shank. Let's go to Chad Shank. Rebecca Fitzman. Yeah, it was...

She said something on CNN. Wolf Blitzer was talking to her on the site where she would have lost her child had she not made these decisions in an Oklahoma fucking tornado that destroyed her place. And they said, stay in place, stay in the bathtub. And she went, fuck the bathtub. So they interview her in front of the bathtub. And he goes, well, you must thank God for this. She goes, actually, I'm an atheist.

And then Wolf Blitzer's going, okay. Anyway, so immediately we started a GoFundMe and raised her $127,000. And she left Oklahoma. At least she moved to Seattle, right? Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, she flipped that house. When Chad was fucked, I'm like, all right, I'm going to chip in a certain amount of money.

Chad's grandparents have been flooded with mud. And Chad's been out there for, well, over a week. Yeah, he's staying at the leakiest fucking roadside motel. He's like, I'm out of money. I'm like, oh, fucking just ask. Doug doesn't like the whole GoFundMe things, like the give me money, give me money. Crowdsourcing. He's not for that kind of thing because it's usually like, help me make my, I need a new transmission or something like that.

Who is? These people that do these things. We've talked about it in the past. After Rebecca Witzman, people are like, hey, can you promote my thing about my kid? First of all, when there's a kid involved, that's your problem. You shouldn't have kids. That's always our fucking bet. Oh, my kid has fucking myosplasia.

I just made that up. But I don't care. You shouldn't have had a fucking kid because you just made something that's going to die probably without you because you're going to die first. And now that kid's fucked. Anyway. Yeah, the crowdfunding thing is always a little bit. There's definitely an alms kind of thing happening or like like you're familiar with the the idea of paying alms right yeah like uh from old like greek culture the idea that that

you pay alms for the poor and they they say that they say uh psychologically speaking that paying alms right or or uh or or giving in that that way is actually more about self-positioning than it is about altruism, right? So altruism is kind of a myth. Well, that's the ninth configuration. One of my favorite movies is all about there's no such thing as a selfless act. Fucking Mother Teresa did not do anything selflessly. She was posing for pictures with fucking evil dictators and then denying people in pain pain medication

because there's no such thing as a selfless act. I just realized this is in my notebook. Thank God I have bits to go to but what's the what's the fucking word it'll be on tour bird is the word they shit on people for doing good things

republicans? martyrdom? no They shit on people for doing good things. Republicans? Martyrdom? No. Virtue signaling. Oh, right. Oh, I'm doing this just to get noticed. Yeah, but someone's getting fucking help. How do you have a fucking word that shits on people for helping people?

Oh, you're just doing this yeah ego is the like yeah when i fucking help rebecca vitzman i don't give a fuck about rebecca vitzman i do it because it makes me feel good that i could do that it makes my fan base feel good that they could help out you're're promoting an ideal, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not about Rebecca Bitsman and her situation. It's the overall idea. But what can we do for a fellow atheist?

It's good. Yeah. I dated a comedian which once I'd like I was in a relationship for I don't know nine months a year or whatever uh and it was terrible what way like what what's terrible about about dating comedian well she was a new comedian so she would ask me is this funny and well we're in a relationship so I can't say no

I forget what I was going into a point of virtue signaling you do something fucking nice for someone, and it makes you feel good. That's every sad email I have. I don't know if you know. Like, I have annoying folder. I have suicide folder.

I have all these folders of people that are either going to kill themselves. But my go-to response for anyone who's fucked is find someone else that's more fucked and help them out. That is the cure to depression. Ecstasy is one. That is the cure to depression. Ecstasy is one. The only time that everything is great in the world is when you're in love. When you're in love, in that debilitating mental illness state of, all I can do is, I can't wait to see you one more time.

I want to be... And nothing else matters. No, you can't wait to see you one more time i want to be and nothing else exactly and there's like if you could put people in that state all the time yeah none of this really matters and ecstasy is the closest drug to always being in love, except that it leads into, I want to kill myself the next day because my serotonin is so depleted. I've been deprived. I love people too much. I've always questioned the idea of William Shakespeare, better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I think that's complete fucking bullshit. That's true. It's a bullshit fucking idea right like the the idea i i would rather have never and love isn't it what is it it's an abstraction right it's an abstract it's a mental illness to find this um yeah yeah it's it's you know uh either way it's uh it's definitely we're we're talking about that crippling effect of being in love which also is a stalker if it's unrequited like if both of you are in love yeah if only one of you is in love and then you go oh i shouldn't have given out my address online You're skirting the line of the law at one point. Cheers, baby shots. Cheers. Oh, drink.

These kids, they do these half-quarter shots of frozen vodka. Not frozen, but from the freezer. And that's how they get through. That's how we wake up super late.

We can drink twice as many because they're only half full. The criticism earlier for me sleeping in all day, this is the catalyst right here. I never know that you're here until I go in and fucking get some dog meat. You said that today and I'm like... I thought that was a good thing. Well, I was thinking about like how Doug doesn't know who you are

but I don't know how to explain who you are right and at the same time like you guys meeting like you two are probably in the top five of my favorite people it is one of those things where it's like you don't

know each other he could have said tied for first it could have been better it could have been better Bart and Duran are in that fucking thing who's fifth then listen I'm not ranking

you started it you fucking started ranking my brother my twin brother we can't compete with that I get that can't compete Number one is my brother, my twin brother. We can't compete with that. I get that. Can't compete with that. I can compete with his twin brother.

Actually, twin brother is no Chaley. He would rather have my twin brother than me right here. Sitting there doing. My brother slides right into my role without even asking. It's like name. I'm going to curl this back to where it started. Working with Bingo and Tarek. You evidently have a fucking cohesive groove going on. You don't hate going over to practice the same five songs.

Evidently, you were nervous, I heard. Someone said you said that they heard you say that you were nervous about doing this. I don't know why that's a thing. I love that that's a thing. I mean, you know I'm fucking nervous about going back on the road. Nervous is a good thing. It's a very good thing. If we're not nervous about

anything you're not challenging yourself and honestly when I went over there to play that night the first night that was the night we laid down those tracks that I can't even remember how I played that fucking that one part of the bass

the slide, the bass slide it's like I hadn't picked up a fucking guitar Remember how I played that fucking, that one part of the bass? The slide, the bass slide, the bass groove. Yeah. It's like, I hadn't picked up a fucking guitar in like weeks. You're challenging yourself. And when I did, it was to figure out like how to play Bullet with Butterfly Wings or something. It's nothing, you know, it's some stupid thing.

It's a good song. I'm not saying it's a bad song. But the thing is, is that we're actually in an environment where we're all writing for the first time. No, it's great stupid thing it's a good song I'm not saying it's a bad song but the thing is that we're actually in an environment where we're all writing for the first time no it's great it's great it was so fun that honestly if I was nervous I was probably trying to make Tracy feel

better because I don't give a shit it is one of those things where I you do care you do actually care you care about the quality of your playing you care about matching up and being the best player in the room and you typically

are which is great to me but I think maybe what I was trying to do was I think Tariq inspires that too he's amazing and watching Tariq play everybody in the room is just watching him for cues and looking at him like, okay, what do we do that's going to make this song sound better? I gave him a lot of the business when I get that mood.

You got to fucking stop being so polite. And I was drunk and high and probably on a downer. I was drunk and high and probably on a downer. And you have to just fucking appreciate that you're part of the family. And don't say, is it okay if I get a whiskey? Yeah. The bar is, anything in the bar is fucking white. Just stop making me feel like I have to host you.

This isn't TGI Fridays, bro. You can fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Stop asking fucking permission to, can I use your toilet? Yes. I actually did. To be fair though, you guys are fucking brilliant.

You know, the thing, and not to blow a cloud of smoky sunshine up your fucking old assholes. But fuck yourselves. And then also what you guys are fucking great and the thing is is is it is i i get nervous when i come here you know i mean like i get like when you come in the room but yeah the last time you're here you fell off the fucking stool in like two times and then you got up after the second time and said i'm done and you fucking walked out of here well i'm a rotten piece of shit you know yeah you know i you know i can't i can't excuse that you you've laid down uh the groundwork for familiarity there yeah when when i i bingo is like um should i keep him i go no no put him in the guest house keep him like a butterfly in a jar no because she was gonna keep him at her house that she's

airbnb and i was in gibraltar and i because she was going to keep him at her house that she's Airbnb-ing. And I was in Gibraltar. And I'm like, well, just have him stay in the guest house. Well, I don't know if you need your privacy. Well, yeah, my privacy is preserved by being not in the guest house with him. And anyone who's in the fun house, everything is in free play. Oh, that's my special beer or whatever. Then you put it in your

own fucking house. Yeah, anything that's out here. The night after we jammed, Bingo came over and then I was in here editing and she like dutifully turned off anything

that made noise and said, I need to talk to you. I'm like, oh, fuck. Henry Phillips is dead. I thought she found the dead dog or something. She goes like, will you join my band? I'm like, what? We have a gig on the 23rd. It'd be awesome if you could play bass.

I'm like, I want to fuck with her. Because clearly it's so easy. It'd be like, oh, my God. I'd come up with a million things that I couldn't be there. And I'm like, I would love to play for you. But she was so nervous. She turned the TVs off and everything. It was fucking weird. Yeah.

Yeah. She does get grounded in a project. so nervous that she turned the tvs off and everything it was fucking weird yeah yeah yeah she does get grounded in a in a project and then abandons it but it's fine as long as she has a i don't have a fucking project please abandon me i'm used to it i like it the the the idea is it is honestly because she approached me in the same kind of fashion. And she and Tara came to me together and they were like, hey. Sheepishly like, oh. Like very serious. This is everything that she's existing for right now. You know, this is very important.

Isn't that what we look for in band members? Absolutely. And then the drummer is a dick. The problem is she's invested wholeheartedly for a minute that's great

that's all I want I'm busy then you have to find her if she doesn't have a new project you find her one because otherwise

it's all just we should kill ourselves I can't argue with that we got Randall here longer. He's totally prolonging the magic with everything that's happening over there. And he might wake up at one and

not have pants, but he goes over there and he's tracking shit. They're like doing songs. She asked me today, someone asked me about live streaming the gig on the 23rd and I go Who throws a technical question

at you? Well, she immediately, I said I have no idea and then she said okay, I guess I have to ask Chaley. Yeah, it's not comedy where you're burning your material you're playing some songs if you

can live stream it that would be fantastic that would be a patreon the problem with that is the quality of the audio will not match yeah like the live you could do the you could do the video and the quality of the internet in old bisbee yeah well actually we're in a shadow zone right there there's no fucking internet at the quarry. So now that we have the X-Air, and I'm like the tech pimping. Last time I was a Sony guy. Now I'm doing the X-Air thing. So I ordered an X-Air in.

You're very close to losing Stan Hope. No, I'm already lost. But I was maintaining eye contact. I appreciate that. That's great. So either way, I ordered a better console for not only- Randall walked into the club, and it was right after he walked into the club to check out what was there, like their gear.

Yeah, like my fan that fucking Julia Popoff won't bring back. I texted him. I said, hey, what's going on? He goes, no, we can't do this. It's like I'm ordering this gear. It'll be here on Tuesday. And it was this whole thing. I'm like, I got off.

I put the phone down. I go, Tracy, that's awesome. Because that's exactly what I would be doing. I'd walk in and go, we need to bring our own gear and put it in front of that so i was happy for that and you looked at the you actually looked at the behringer uh the x the x air the oh yeah where you run it off an ipad it's you can mix everything right off there that's it's easier yeah it's just better and that's i'm surprised that they don't have that at a place where they run bands all the time, to be honest.

But I don't know what goes on down there. We never go to Old Bisbee. It's weird that I'm going to walk into a place in Old Bisbee with a bass. I never, yeah. Weird meaning awesome, then yes. No, it'll be fun, but it's like we have a bar. We have a stage. We have lights. We have a bar. We have a stage. We have lights.

We have a PA. We have a fucking patio. We did that. Last time they played the quarry, we went, let's do this again here in the fun house. And we did. And it was way better than some fucking open mic. Well, I'm not shitty on the quarry because I love what they do there. That wasn't the quarry.

That was the grand. The point is, there was an open mic. I'm like, do it here where you have an appreciative audience and not people are trying to jockey for position for another drink and only waiting for their friend to do their open mic. Well, we'll definitely have a crowd there. But it's good for them to do those gigs.

It's a great fucking thing. I mean, you still being how excited I've been about this? I obviously do,

but this is fucking going to be amazing. And honestly, I'm excited to do it too. It's going to be a lot of

fun. God, I wish I could be there. I mean, how low were ticket sales that they got Vodka Juice Box to try and amp it? Well, I told you there's no tickets. I could be there. I mean, how low were ticket sales that they got vodka juice box to try and amp it? Well, I told you there's no ticket sales.

I'm just kidding. Fuck yourself. I was kidding about I wish I could be there. I was going to come up with a sad excuse. Oh, no, I have to brush Henry. Otherwise, yeah, we're all going to be there. I love this conversation. It's sad that you guys had to explain to me you're joking also.

Yeah. You down with TBI? Yeah, you know me. I was just pitching because immediately after we hang up, Jaylee's going to go, what's the title for this? So I'm pitching. You down with TBI? Yeah, you know me.

I'm good with that one. I'm glad you guys finally met. Have you met? Yeah, he's been here before. Remember he fell off a stool that you keep mocking him for? You were busy. You were laying on the bar. I get to fucking work on my own act.

God damn it. Tomorrow's Sunday. I could probably take an edible now. I can't take the dog out. It's raining. Woo-hoo. Yeah, I'm gonna set up fucking camp in here, just like when I was writing books,

and have my old tapes, my new notebooks, my new notes, and, yeah, try to put a set together. I'm going to have to try to do an hour here before we go. But we got- In the funnel? Two and a half weeks. Yeah. You want to do a show?

I'm going to have to. I don't have to. But, yeah, to try to do a full hour. I know where you can do some time. No, I need an hour. Oh. Don't fucking... We'll be up north soon enough. But, yeah, they'll figure

it out. I... All I... I need to be... I don't know how to get fun again. I just wake up with either paranoid thoughts or I need to get something done. And then you pick up a pencil and you start doing a crossword. And then five hours go by and you go, nah, let's not do a podcast.

I mean, I think you're overthinking all of this. I'm overthinking everything in my fucking life. You are surrounded by people who support you. I don't understand. I'm not discounting your feelings. I understand that. I feel like I told Tracy. My feelings are not in line with reality.

When I yelled at Bingo about, how are you spending this much money on the credit card? Well, because I had to get the Airbnb to, but you don't need to do all that. Like, this is a lot of money, and we still are not working for fucking a year and a half.

You gotta, like, look at price tags, look at, but, I mean mean i watch my mother do this to like her third husband why don't you even think well that's not what he does bingo doesn't think like that so it's a process you don't need to spend money. Anyway, we're way off topic. The peach had a bruise when you bought it. We're off topic. This was a fucking great podcast. I really enjoyed just talking and not worrying about my notes. Wait, you have notes?

You usually just scribble something down on something near you. I like this style. This is good. Yeah. Keep doing this. I have to do one with Bobby in the morning. Plug that. Podcast. Yeah. I don't know what it's

called. I just talked to him. Oh, yeah. Jan. Is it Notes from the Pen? Like a variation of that? Yeah, Notes from the Pen. Yeah. At Notes from the Pen? Like a variation of that? Yeah, Notes from the Pen. Yeah. At Notes from the Pen.

I don't know if he's serious or he's drunk. Yeah, no, I'm getting drunk. Get in. So the Notes from the Pen with Bobby Caldwell is like you on Monday routinely take a call from Bobby and you guys record it. Yeah. Anyway. That's Notes from the pen, right?

Yeah, find that podcast. It's 15 minutes long. This one has gone on too long. I don't think so. Well, it's done is what I'm saying. Cheers, gentlemen. Clink. Clink.

We don't have to clink. We just say, hey, I love you guys, man. I love you, too. This is fun. I was talking with you today. It's actually, I had a lot of fun. Hey, Randall, do you know Doug? That's Doug Stanhope.

Is that this guy? Yeah. I've been seeing him on YouTube over 400 times. He was just recently seen in Gibraltar. I think I'm seeing him in his tiny house over there. He saw me in a manor house recently. The outhouse. Yeah. Oh, tiny house. The little house. I'm singing his tiny house over there. He saw me in a manor house recently. The outhouse. Yeah.

Oh, tiny house. The little house. I'm trying to correct him of that. Let's fucking hang up. Hang up on these people. Okay, bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.