The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#459: Home On The Strange

Episode Date: August 22, 2021

An off night in Cheyenne gives the boys time to reflect on the past few shows, the miles traveled and the issue with the Issues With Andy podcast. Doug's new book, "No Encore For The Donkey" available exclusively at Audible.com - https://amzn.to/31uwvO0 Recorded Aug. 16th, 2021 on the road in Bozeman, MT with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Junior Stopka (@juniorstopka), Tracey (@egglester), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Chaille. We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS - BetterHelp.com - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHELP.com/stanhope. Keep the ear party pumping with the ISSUES WITH ANDY podcast featuring Andy Andrist, Brett Erickson, Chad Shank and Chaille. New episode every Friday - https://www.patreon.com/issueswithandy Need more Chaille? Check out Mix Tape Time Machine Podcast with John Norris, Matt Collins and Ggreg Chaille - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mix-tape-time-machine-podcast/id1554596023 It's FREE to join Chad on his Twitch Channel. Go the Chad's Twitter page where he has pinned a tweet with instructions - https://twitter.com/hdfatty Visit the Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Photo Credit - TraceySupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Good night. Good night. Good night. You're listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Is that it? No, we'll see how this works. Are we live? We're live.

I'd like to have a secret mic. What is that? It's a fucking food truck. I can hear the food truck. Oh, you're right. A train will come by i did the bobby notes from the pen podcast out here which is just on speakerphone you know what you guys like just just realize this is our mic right yeah yeah and we're explain where we're at

yeah that's what well i know i wanted to start where you were going when you started talking and you weren't recording and you were complaining about the issues of the Andy podcast. And I want that on my podcast. We're recording, Doug, right now. Yeah, I know. So we're recording. So I want to hear you start with complaining about politics on the issues with Andy. Well, this is the thing.

The after show? Chaley's a little pickled because he just did two hours of issues with Andy. And then I went to the venue and talked to Dominic. We're in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Yeah. So tell us about the politics on issues with Andy. It's horrible because Chad Shank glosses over over anytime politics goes on and i'm very sensitive to that because i don't want that to be i want us to just talk about shit like andy come on you went to go get a latte

sometime in the last week right talk about what happened there and it there was they just started talking about like people holding onto a plane in Kabul. You've all seen that, right? I'm like, no. I'm busy. I don't watch the news. And I guess there were people holding onto a plane that got hundreds of feet, and they fell to their death. And I'm like, this isn't what this podcast is about.

They must have heard there are still tickets for tomorrow. Or they couldn't get them. It sold out. That's why. Yeah. So that's what happened. Yeah. I watched a couple of videos of that while I was out here. We took the day off and I strongly recommend it to my listeners where you go,

you know what? I'm just not in the fucking mood. I have a whole bunch of shit I have to do and it's not going to happen today. And I got back to doing crossword puzzles with Junior and Tracy. And I'm like, yeah, I get a whole stack of notes in there I have to go over and listen to fucking sets from the last

week. Where are you supposed to spend the day? Tracy and I left early to go grab a bat stumbling my words already. Like you on stage. Like me on the last podcast. The last podcast, I don't remember. I know.

I mean, I remember talking about it. I did the math the next day, and it was like 16 drinks, like measured drinks. Oh, that was the Bozeman. Yeah. After the Bozeman show. In three hours. Cause it, it devolved into shots coming to the stage.

And for some reason I engaged it. And after that podcast, I got up, I stumbled into the second bed because we're taping in junior's room. And I fucking fell asleep with just the, you know, the fucking awful polyester bedspread thing.

The top, what's it called? The thing you pull off of a bad motel. The one, if you've spent enough time in hotels, you throw in the closet. Yeah. You pick it up. You pick it up with two fingers. Like it's a fucking hard cat shit and you take it off. But no, that's all I had.

And I woke up junior junior had the room down like fucking 63 degrees with the air conditioning i woke up freezing but i didn't have a key to your room it was very sweet junior put you to bed they were talking about clark bars candy bars from the midwest and cats and then all of a sudden that's all i want to talk sudden, and then you got up, and I'm like, where's Junior going? And then you sweetly put Mr. Stanhope to bed. And I'm like, Tracy, I think they want to be alone. You put a sleep mask on me? You always have a sleep mask somewhere.

That was very sweet. But yeah, I woke up freezing and without a key to all my shit. And fortunately, I just went back to sleep until Chaley was awake. And I, yeah, when this morning I got up, we're in the most, what's the word for, I mean, this is decadent almost. This Airbnb. Decadent's a good word. Surreal decadent almost. This Airbnb. Decadent's a good word. It's a real decadent. Yeah.

We're in downtown Cheyenne, Wyoming, which I remember, I haven't played here in like decades, like 30 years maybe, the last time I played here. I've never been here with you. Yeah, the story's in the book, Wiley Roberts and the Pig. Yeah, no, it was. and the pig uh it was yeah no it was uh really yeah it was um because i remember my car broke down at the gig as a triple gig when i was first starting opening for wiley roberts and we couldn't get it fixed we played saturday night and there's nothing open to fix

it on the sunday uh so we had to stay an extra day with the bartender who said, oh, because I couldn't afford a hotel. And Wiley's I'm driving the headliner and he's not, you know, common. I got the bartender from the gig the night before I shuffled in from

the from my room that was paid for for the night I performed. And I go, yeah, we're stuck here she goes well you can stay with me I guess sitting there all day because I had nowhere else to go she's like yeah you guys can stay with me in my trailer and there was like 11 dogs

or 11 cats 9 dogs and a pig that lived in the trailer with her and her kids and I passed out first and I passed out first. And two comics. I passed out first so I was on the couch and Wiley had to sleep on the floor.

There's just piles of pet shit everywhere and I remember waking up with Wiley. I'm on the couch. Wiley's like between me and the coffee table on the couch. Tracy, Jaylee's trying to get your attention. Wiley table on the couch. Tracy, Chaley's trying to get your attention. Wiley's on the couch.

I wake up, I look down, and the pig tried to crawl over Wiley's head and he got high-centered. It was a pot-bellied pig. Yeah. But it was a big fucking pot-bellied pig. They all get big. The sight of Wiley Roberts with a pig fucking stuck on his head.

Were you sleeping in hay? I don't understand. It was the living room of a trailer in a trailer park. It's a trailer with all those animals in there? Yep. So it's kind of like a... They brought out a big... Like they? The team?

Well, her family. Her family. Her kids or whatever. Would people support this? And they just poured... Mama's got another couple of comics. We need the air mattress. They poured some kind of generic pet food into a pile on the kitchen floor

in the linoleum. For you and Wiley? And all the fucking pets came around and ate off of this pile it was the most surreal thing and it was brilliant because i was you know as a kid i'm like i'm living this weird life how how fucking crazy is this there's a roof over my head yeah and i i know the date because i put it in the book because the monday when i finally was getting my car fixed i was watching uh um Waco burned out on the news that's the only reason ranch Davidian yeah uh how was your mullet disheveled yeah I know I I vacillated between mullet I went from mullet to

long hair you know just wispy long hair at one point. But, yeah. I always think of the Carlos Murphy's thing that circulated recently on YouTube with true mullet. But like me right now with the shaved sides, you don't

transition easy. It's a weird, it takes time. Anyway, the point is, fucking enjoy a day off. Without a pig. We're at this palace for fucking Cheyenne, Wyoming. That's what I was going towards. I always remembered Cheyenne to be a shithole. It's got some fucking ugly characters here.

And there is a mood. But yeah, downtown is gorgeous. I thought it was like Billings. Billings really is kind of a fucking awful town in Montana. But this place, I mean, we have a four bedroom it's above the the red bison is the shop the red bison home is like i don't know it's not necessarily an art gallery because they do sell art but they also sell you know massage chairs so i don't quite understand It's an anomaly amid the antiques collectible shops. Tracy, I'm going to need a drink.

I'm still baffled. I think Escobar lived here at one point or something. We have a sauna, like an eight-person sauna. Yeah, it's considerable. The space is considerable. And a sunken tub. On a raised level in a bedroom. One of the bedrooms has a sauna

and a raised tub. If I was going to shoot a retro 70s porno, this would be on my fucking short list. Can we get it? You have three different scenes in that. Just that one room. The raised bathtub, the sauna, and then the bedroom.

But there's carpeting throughout. It's so weird in a place that has so much snow. I can't imagine what their bills are because the AC is running 24-7. And then in the winter, just to heat this fucking place. Yeah, this is it's an Airbnb you can find it Red Bison Home and I

I don't know how the rules work but I'd suggest calling Red Bison Home the shop downstairs ask for Breck and try to eliminate that. The fucking fees for Airbnb are outrageous. We got one for the Phoenix gigs coming up. Make sure, I think there's still tickets left

for the second show. But we have an Airbnb that's like half a mile from the place, and that one is crazier than this. But the fees are almost fucking double. $300 cleaning fee? Are the cleaners getting that?

When I saw that, I'm like, is that right? There's an extra zero in there. Yeah, it was crazy. But it is, the Phoenix place is a five-bedroom house. Yeah, it was crazy. But it is, the Phoenix place is a five-bedroom house. Yeah, I mean we've gone to places where we got the

Airbnb and then talked to the person and went, hey, we're coming back. The problem is we're not coming back to Cheyenne for another 30 years more than likely. This is the first B&B I've been in where I haven't been terrified to walk around the neighborhood. I'm kind of terrified.

Today I was. Junior walked to the post office and we don't even know where the post office is. He found it. He used his phone. I understand that, but it's like we've driven around here. The post office I saw was over by Target, which is a couple

miles away. I woke up this morning, and I just needed one thing. So I went to Dollar Tree because I love a Dollar Tree shopping spree. God damn it. You love a deal. We were really good about doing the tweets with the hashtags and being ridiculous. I should have done shopping spree at Dollar Tree. But I don't need anything. Like guys' grocery games are like, you know.

Guy Fieri? You got the same hashtag. Slowly I turn. Step by step. That guy is a hero for the way he looks every day. He wakes up and does that. How many people would do that? It's

embarrassing. And what's more embarrassing is when Kreischer... Oh, that means shut off the tub. I'll check it. Yeah. Kreischer is friends with the guy, so he has a weird pronunciation of his name to say it correctly. And you go, don't give him that fucking benefit.

No, it's Fieri. It's not Fieri. Fieri. Whatever. Fieri. I'm not rolling a fucking R for you, you dunce cap. You fucking zero. How embarrassing

I think Anthony Bourdain Was the only cool guy That had a food show Everyone else is a douche bag On purpose Kitchen nightmares guy And then the Jamie Oliver puss wart

In England The gig we're doing tomorrow in Cheyenne. There's an autographed picture behind the bar with Anthony Bourdain. Oh, that's great. Yeah.

I wanted to jump the bar just to see who was in the photo. I could just see Anthony. The kid that runs this show... Dominic. Dominic. He this uh comedy night or comedy club I don't know if it's a comedy club he started comedy during COVID in Cheyenne yeah because Wyoming doesn't shut down for any reason uh by the way the uh the the next patreon we'll talk about the missoula mishap but we're we're doing that patreon only uh a lot of parties involved don't we yeah so uh if you want to listen to that go to uh that and all the extra stuff go to patreon.com slash stanhope podcast and uh yeah and what's funny is on the last patreon

someone asked hey uh you know with this delta variant uh uh i'm a somewhere in the medical field in boston and you know there was a there's been kind of a silence usually that means they're about to shut shit down again do you know if the shows are going on and i go i have no idea but if you really give a fuck just fly to the fucking montana wyoming dates because these cocksuckers won't shut down for anything guaranteed yeah well and then of course the missoula mishap you'll hear about that patreon only so we can name names and blame blames i think that's why this town is so pleasant to walk

around in because all the old people are dead. It's just a real polite. They're in the like that what's it called? Before you get to heaven or hell. Limbo. Purgatory. They're waiting to find out where they go

they're just like you can walk right there's a backlog sorry we don't have a lot of people in purgatory to answer phones so you're going to be here for a bit everyone's got help wanted signs out every fucking the devil every place we go every restaurant every hotel we check into everyone help wanted now hiring our favorite place well, we probably talked about that in Bozeman, but I don't remember. But, yeah, that was our, we picked the Bozeman Inn. We never give plugs. I never.

We don't usually because that's where we stay. I know, but that's why I can't. And I never remembered a tweet after the fact. Like, hey, the Bo's been in. But we stay there again. So why would you? But now we don't because the fucking restaurant and bar that are attached to it are after 26 years. Shit the bed because of COVID.

It's so weird. And they had a now hiring sign. The coffee kiosk in their parking lot has been there for 26 years i don't remember and the restaurant has been there for 26 years and the restaurant closed and the coffee tracy could not get a coffee in the morning because they were backed up on a Sunday the entire time. In the parking lot of a highway side motel. Back the van up to the door kind of motor lodge

and it was around the fucking block. People pulled out after waiting 20 minutes and left. I don't blame them because they didn't move the whole time. I did a dollar store shot, a dollar

tree. It's important to register. Dollar tree shit is actually a dollar. That's why I love dollar tree. The worst of the dollar stores. You said that and I'm like, no, they're fantastic. Sierra Vista, Tucson, fantastic.

I went to the one here, not the one that we saw yesterday. There's another one on the street three miles away. I went to that one. It was like fucking Hurricane Katrina or fucking Delta variant, like just empty shelves. People are fucking sweeping shit. But the point is, just because this place is so gorgeous, they don't have a lot

of shit. There's no spices. So I'm like, I'm going to Dollar Tree. I'll get every spice they have. I got fucking different soaps and body washes and culinary instruments. They didn't have a proper spatula. I was trying to make junior these

juniors on a keto diet so uh everyone with the fucking weird diets but we've gotten along yeah one of the main reasons that's the weird thing about stand-up is like he's more concerned about the least member not you but like no matter who's in the group, he's always concerned with the least, like the person who has the weirdest diet, that's the restaurant we go to or the one we aspire to. They were delicious tortilla egg things that he made. Well, our friend Gil. You threw in the trash, dude.

I just had one. I had a taco. The first one he made today? No, he made me like four of them. Yeah, that's alright. Junior's a polite guy. He will eat one. That's why I walk away from him after I cook something so he can throw it in the

trash if he doesn't like it. If I made it out of fucking transmission fluid and mill pulp, he would eat it if i watched it as long as it doesn't have omega-6 also i like family dollar but i stopped i stopped going when it became corporate after it became corporate it was mom and pop

mom and pop dollar stores they drove them out of business like blockbuster Dollar Tree is the worst like just the way the store is set up I think Dollar General might be they're revamping a lot of Dollar General's

actually DG they do produce in St. Louis. Actually, DG has the they do produce in St. Louis. One of them is connected to the other. They trick you by calling it a DG. And it took me

two times through even when it said Dollar General and receipt it took me two times through to figure out wait, this is a fucking dollar store

that sells eggs. This is how fucking hoarders start is Dollar Trees where I walk through and I go you can get that for a dollar? Just reading glasses.

Fucking Goodwill sells reading glasses for like $5.99. And if you wear reading glasses, you know you have to have 85 pairs of them. Everywhere you sit. Room, car. And that oven cleaner, which I don't think you're allowed to sell anywhere else. Blow up a car, get high or whatever.

Get that. It's like $1.50. That was a dollar at the Dollar Tree. Everything's a dollar. It says do not use as a warning. I spent $59 at the Dollar Tree today. And that's about 59 things. When you checked out, everyone clapped.

There was a big smile on his face when he walked up. That was a lot of bags. Yeah. But my theory is that at an Airbnb, it's probably like the dirty secret from the people that run Airbnbs. It's like, listen, get that shit out of there if you put a colander in there or a lid for a pot you'll have to clean it get it the fuck out of there and anytime anyone buys anything like you did you brought in a whole fucking shit load of stuff

get it the fuck out of there go donate it don't have it be here because if you have it here someone's gonna use it then you gotta pay it be here because if you have it here, someone's going to use it and then you've got to pay someone to clean it. Junior, being on the keto diet, he has found, what's the brand or the name of the... Oh, yeah. Oh, Egg Life. That's the best one. Egg Life?

Egg Life. Like Thug Life with the glasses and the names. They're tortillas made out of eggs so you can eat them. And Junior made, and it was delicious because Hennigan tried it too. Hennigan what? He took this tortilla, but it's made out of egg. Egg tortilla.

Egg whites. Egg whites. Egg white tortilla. Correct. And he put cream cheese on it with lox and cucumber. That sounds delicious. In a roll. And it tastes lox and cucumber in a roll. It tastes just like Philadelphia roll. Sushi.

The spongy tortilla gave it the texture of rice. It was fucking brilliant. We go to the supermarket here. He can't find it. I remember our friend Gil also on a weird diet for football. And I figured out how to make like a wrap out of Parmesan cheese.

Oh, yeah. Shredded Parmesan cheese. Not the powdery shit, but the shredded. Not the green cans. So I made that with a little bit of egg whites, fry it up, and you did that? Yeah, that's why I woke up this morning. But they had some fucked up metal pans. I don't know.

Yeah, I know Teflon's supposed to give you cancer and stuff. I watched the documentary. It's really fucked up, and a lot of people that worked there died. But, yeah, for a one-off. Yeah, that's fine. So that's why I went to dollar general taste junior it's a little metallic really other than that did you taste the one that he made it was he perfected it after the second one okay did you taste the first one he made he was very angry at the first one and he kind of threw it very angry at the first one and that's what made me leave the house. Because today, I was not going to leave this house all day.

We have, like, there's one, there's like a spare living room up here. Two? Well, there's a spare. Yeah, there's one main one with a giant TV and a giant couch. And then there's one that just had two banquet tables. That living room's half the size of 212 Van Dyke Street. And it only had two banquet tables, so we put them up end-to-end

so we could have a writer's room in there, but we didn't write today. Oh, I did. I wrote. Did you? Yeah. I got a good one. You write some jokes? I wrote a zinger or two. We'll see how it goes. There's some definite murder in it for people in this town

to get used to. You don't want to lose your core audience yeah I took two over the counter sleepers last night thank god I stayed in the empty bedroom but we did the sauna early which that's taxing on the body because you're sweating

we weren't drinking water that's not a good thing to do sauna's on on by the way i know we're gonna do it but i have water now i got some dollar store water for a dollar at dollar tree so i did tell hannigan how giddy you were last night because you you stayed up past two o'clock in the morning. I can't remember. Usually you go to bed and then you get back up. But you stayed up. I was like editing. No, you were falling asleep on the couch. I was asleep on the couch while things were rendering down. But when I got up to do something,

I was like, it's finally 1.30, 1.45. I'm like, what the fuck? What's that light on back here on the back patio? You were right on your tongue. your tongue like, something's wrong. Yeah. Are the paramedics here? Why are the lights on? We had a legitimate day off.

That's why I said fuck it. I was happy to see you having fun and being up past your bedtime. Yeah. And not like wandering, like pee in a closet somewhere because you were fucking out of your head. I wasn't out of my head. You were up until 2 in the morning having fun drinking. I don't want to squander this like I did COVID.

I'm happy. Because of the Missoula mishap, we got a legit day off where there was no driving to a day off. We had a day off and a 10 and a half hour drive to get there. Always drive the most that you can do on the first day of driving.

Drive the most. And then there's – I say drive the most when you leave. That's the best part. That's what I mean. It's like when we left Billings, drive the most on the first day. Like we're going to go to San Francisco. We're going to drive.

It's like a 16, 17-hour drive. No, you should not. Drive the most on the first day. If you drive home, that's the best feeling. That's different. Driving home or driving back home is the best feeling. You can do that. My longest is Madison, Wisconsin to Bisbee.

Straight through. Oh, my God. How many hours is that? I want to say in the 30s, early 30s. Junior, when you drove out to Bisbee last time, you did it straight? You had a buddy though. Yeah, we probably stopped, but

I'll try to do Texas all the way back, but one time I drove that shitty Santa on the Civic. I just slept on the side and made it to your house for Andy's special, which is available, which is called Andy's new special. Naturejack.com.

Just go to Naturejack and it's available somewhere. Andy doesn't even know. You know more than he does. You drove a Civic straight through, right? Yeah. Is that like 300,000 miles on it? Yeah. The had like 300,000 miles on it? Yes.

The odometer broke. Well, Randall just drove out from the East Coast 37 hours straight. That beats me. Yeah. That's hardcore. When can you die? What is it?

Do truck drivers die after five days or something? How's that work? Yeah, from heart failure, from eating fucking flying J for speed. No, we listen to that. Some audible book about sleep we were listening to. Sounds like one of mine. Remember, they talked about all the coffee and how coffee stays in your system.

Oh, yeah, the half-life of coffee, which we were talking about. But then there was so many things in that where we're like, that's bullshit because I do this. I'm an old man. I have a fucking track record. He was talking about how truck drivers have their accident rates are more fatalities than versus DUIs. I tried to put it into a bit because I fucking still hate truckers. Shout out Dollar Tree. Let's go Tesla automated. No,us drunk drivers

try to pay attention. Truckers are generally like 90% obese and like 70% morbidly obese and they fall asleep. So they don't try to hit the brakes when they get into an accident.

So truckers cause more fatalities, kill more innocent children than a drunk driver so uh yeah that that was a great factoid that i promoted even though i found the rest of the book that didn't suit me bullshit so never take your kids on the highway because it'll die oh hang on there's a trucker at the door I'll be right back You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast

Don't buy sticker doodles Alright we're back Hey thanks for waiting I was talking about Dominic The kid that started this comedy Club or comedy night Whatever it is I don't think there's any

Delineation anymore after COVID They do open, they started open mics And he said because Wyoming won't shut down Comics from fucking Eight states Colorado, Nebraska Fucking Because Wyoming won't shut down, comics from fucking eight states. Denver is coming over, yeah. Yeah, Colorado, Nebraska, fucking everyone's coming here to do comedy during COVID

because that was the place that was open. And I told them I would have too, except I didn't want to do comedy. I would have absolutely driven 26 hours up here just because on the lark that it's open, but I was happy being home. You don't want to fucking put an act together to do an open mic that you're not

going to do again until COVID's over, if it's ever over. Hopefully not. Hopefully there's a Zeta variant before going to. They have a Lambda now. Yeah, they have a Lambda. How did the hurricanes, there were so many hurricanes that they ran out of names

and then they had to go to like Hurricane 4. Don't they just start over with A? No, no, they went to some other... I forget. But this kid, we walk in there, because, again, we have the extra day off. Dillinger's in Cheyenne. Yeah. On

Lincoln Way. One word. One word. Lincoln Way. We stop in early. They're closed, but when they see us looking in the window, they're already in there two days before setting up the seating and making sure the chairs are right. And that kid is like, we thought he was coming to the door to tell us to fuck off. And he's like, oh, my God, I can't believe you're here. This is so great. And he gives us a tour

of everything. And this is where you can take believe you're here. This is so great. And he gives us a tour of everything. And this is where you can take a piss. You have your own private bathroom. But wait, there's more. He's fucking Ron Propil. Here's how we're going to walk you to the stage. Really? I was going to tell him, and I still remember his phone number, by the way.

Thank you. So I was going to say, hey, you should be on the podcast because he's so excited and excitable. And I realized, no, that's a day off. He's got a show tonight, his own show, on the Tuesday. We play the Wednesday. But, yeah, we'll definitely promote him. But I don't that's a day off

I don't want to deal with that excitability right now we can still make the show you guys can I'm going over there just to go to the crown I forgot what's the show

it's like fill in the punchline it's like some kind of improv it's a trivia show. Who's a Jeopardy or something. Was it Jeopardy? Girl T thought that it was something to do with Jeopardy. When we were there who got vaccine?

The game show. Actually I quite like the idea of a kissing frog. There were two people paid when we were there to advance the show two like nice looking young ladies what and i and they're sitting like halfway the oldest seating from your show or at this show yeah and i lean down i go why are you here? And they're like, we're here to see the comedy. The comedy thing tonight?

Like, yeah. I go, did you hear about the comedy thing tomorrow? No. What's going on here tomorrow? They're there for the Jeopardy spinoff comedy thing. I bet you they're having fun. Well, it's like karaoke. It's great.

If they can be involved, they'll show up. Those are the people I love. The people that, like, I'm going to go in there. Oh. And they pay $10 to get in. Yeah. Last night. And they have no idea what's going to happen.

Last night. Those guys we met last night. Oh, jeez. We went to, what's the name of the place? The Crown. The Crown. Oh, boy. And it wasn't too scary.

But these two guys were talking loudly as they played the jukebox. And they go, oh, no, it was you. Chaley says, oh, yeah, this is NoFX. Linoleum. Yeah. I know Fat Mike from NoFX. He's been on the podcast. But I don't listen to that kind of music. I don't listen to

any kind of music except for classical when I'm trying to write. And I just texted Fat Mike saying, hey, I'm listening to Linoleum at some fucking wayward bar in Wyoming. And by the time he had texted back, those guys were talking

to Chaley because they're from the same town and they're both surfers in the same age range and just talking surfing. And then they got to Costa Rica and it leaned, the conversation leaned towards whorehouses in Costa Rica and I go, oh, I can

jump in. I was trying to include you, Doug. Yeah. And then it went right out of whorehouses when I tried to chat. So I went out to smoke and they go, oh, I'm going to play whatever, the fucking 12 minute song. It's a 12 minute song off the new album,

which I don't know whatever yeah I can find it on my phone but it's not the point the point is they go oh we should play this it's like 12 minutes long but fuck it we'll play it and as I go out to smoke I get on the sidewalk to smoke

a cigarette because you can't smoke a cigarette in this fucking land of individual rights in Wyoming. The last place you'd ever think there's no smoking in a bar. And he said, tell them to play this on the jukebox. It was a song they had

just said, we're playing on the jukebox. I'm like, ah, you're making me look cool as fuck right now. That guy did, he played some good music though. The taller guy? Yeah, yeah. The guy did, he played some good music though. The taller guy. Yeah, yeah. The guy that, like the rest of us

couldn't get a word in edgewise. It's very funny. You asked Junior what kind of music he listens to because you were bringing him up to fucking my ding-a-ling. That was my idea first. You go like, I listen to Dolly Parton sometimes.

I do like Dolly. She's an American treasure. Yeah, she is. If she runs for president, I'll vote for her. Fuck, she'd win. At this point, you can't say, oh, they could never win. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, Dolly Parton is a viable option in case.

So, during the Issues with Andy podcast, Erickson asked me about the jet gig. Yeah, we're going to talk about that on the Patreon. I said, I can't talk about that. He goes, why not?

I go, well, we're going to talk about it on the Doug Stanoff podcast. And then I realized we're not talking about it on the Doug Stanoff podcast. We're talking about it on the Doug Stanoff Patreon podcast. If we even remember by then. Well, I'm just saying. It's been two weeks away. I don't even know. Like, I just looked up when my flight leaves to San Francisco.

Go ahead. No, the one we should be at tonight. The Missoula. Yeah, I know, but I'm saying Patreon, doesn't that go out the first week of the month? We're in the middle week of the last month. Oh, that's a

video, though. We're going to do something before that. I don't know. Jaylee's drunk. I'm drunk. Juniors just wants to get in a sauna. We're going to party in a sauna. I can do a recap. It was basically like that picture of all those Afghanis in that plane trying to leave. I just found out about that.

I just found out. Same situation. So now we're going to stay here. Did you see the news? I didn't see this. I've been busy doing stuff. I just saw it. People held on

until they were at like what yeah i watched a video yeah it's not a close-up no it was disappointing and i was out here in the smoking area on the deck where uh i had bad internet so i had to wait for buffering buffering and then yeah no No splatter shot. There should have been better pictures. Yeah, it's horrible, but there's a fucking thousand horrible things that are going on in the world all over the place that we don't pay attention to because we have... Right down the street in

downtown Cheyenne, there's a thousand horrible things happening. At the Eagle's Nest. In the world. That's the one that makes news. Someone was beheaded in Jakarta today. Really? I'm assuming.

You believe that? The point is, they can't cover all the horrible news. Junior and I were talking about this. cover all the horrible news we were junior and i were talking about this like we didn't even know the afghan war was still a war because it's not been on the fucking news for fucking decades there's no breaking news this just in from fucking kandashar it's like no we don't know is there a war going on in iraq still i don't know like Is there a war going on in Iraq still? I don't know. Like somebody put a new Star Wars out. Like the Taliban's still around?

And what do they do? They go into space? So they're grown up? No, I don't know. Yeah, but now when you can make it a partisan issue, Joe Biden really has to admit that he had a... No, you never said fucking Joe Smith from fucking Fayetteville, Arkansas was killed in fucking battle yesterday. There's nothing about the Afghan war for a fucking decade. And now it's an issue.

Just fucking trying to separate us. Not us. We're in a fucking... We're at the Red Bison home. Airbnb. And we're about to fucking take off our clothes. And get into a sauna. And start whipping towels at each other.

And smacking each other on our bottoms. Like young Swedish ladies. And tomorrow, I'm going to have to dig in and fucking start recreating my set day by day. Every day I feel more confident. It's going good, dude.

It's going good. Yeah, Junior's writing. Wait, you're writing stuff? Yeah, he was writing today. I took the day off. He's got a couple new things. He's got a lot, you're writing stuff? Yeah, he was writing today. I'm just kidding. I took the day off. No, he's got a couple of new things. He's got a lot of fucking new shit. I don't know why you released him on Billings, but maybe you were just testing it,

but you had a couple of new things. That's good. You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Billings. Oh my God. Save it for the podcast. Yeah, I'll save that one. Yeah, I'll save that one for that Patreon podcast. So everything's great for Fort Collins and

Denver were all fucking set up. Yeah. Fucking Boston. I think there's still tickets for that second show. So yeah, spread the word listeners and also take a day off

when you have shit to do and you don't feel like doing it just eliminate the idea from your head you know what fuck it this day doesn't count and if you're if you are working they need people to work so just say i'm taking a day off and they're not gonna fire you yeah you have you have the upper hand right now yeah yeah that was, you die at the end. Remember? We were at the Goodwill and there was one fucking checker and 20 people standing in line. And when we got to the second checker open,

like, hey, I'll take you over here. We get to her. She's like, yeah, it's crazy. And like,

it's the whole, someone called it sick. We can't hire anyone here. And yet the goodwill is jam-packed with people because it's the double whammy. No one has any money, but they still want to spend. And there's no employees. And she was like, I'm just trying. I love my customers.

It's like this whole thing. It's like. I don't get the world anymore. I don't either. I don't know how any of this works. But also, when we do the Mountain Time Zone run, if you read No Encore for the Donkey, yeah, we do this for a reason.

Junior does a lot of the back-of-the-room shit kind of jokes, and you go, there's no back-of-the-room here. Well, there's three of us. But then that's what I i thought and we checked into the hotel in billings and there's a line and the phone's ringing off the hook and those she goes i'm gonna megan yes megan's like uh i i'm gonna have to put you on hold because i have a line of people um i can call you back and i was to check in, but we were going directly to sushi anyway. So I said, listen, just take care of these people.

I'll come back in an hour after sushi and check in. She's like, oh, thank God. And then when we checked back in, she's like, yeah, I know the guy that booked you here, the local booker. I'm a stand-up comic. I'm like, fucking Billings, Montana, the fucking hotel girl working by herself also does stand-up comic. I'm like, fucking Billings, Montana, the fucking hotel girl working by herself also does stand-up comedy. I'm like, maybe there is a back of the room here.

There's too many people doing comedy. And how is the fucking hookup made with the fucking person she said no? We'll talk about that on the Patreon. She said no. I couldn't believe it. The dog was cute. There was a dog roaming around the Patreon. She said no. I couldn't believe it. The dog was cute. There was a dog roaming around the hotel.

It wasn't hers. It was Megan's. Whatever. I petted it. I'm going to pet it. Tomorrow, I found a sushi bar right next to the gig. I know. In Cheyenne.

In Cheyenne. Really? Yeah. Wow. Good reviews. I think we'd go back to the other place. The Aspen, is it called? Albany. No, Alb it called? Albany.

Albany. Let's eat meat while we're here. We're going to Colorado. We had options. I think we'd go back and eat meat. We're in Wyoming. Either way, that's the setup for tomorrow. As far as advancing the show, we are fucking

golden. It's going to be great. I'm yeah. I'm looking forward to the rest of the tour. And I don't know when you, you were so happy. Sorry. You were so happy. It's, it's disarming.

You weren't happy enough. That's why I like, are you happy? I'm fine. I know. Until we get in the fucking sauna. I'm living. I'm fine. I know. I'm always fine. Until we get in the fucking sauna. I'm living the life, brother. But you, like, up late last night, that's weird. Like, you are usually down by 9 o'clock at night, and then you get up again.

Yeah, because we have a show the next day. No, at home. We had a legit day off. At home. Oh, yeah. You are usually down and then up and then down and then up. You were very happy. I had good reports to give Henning in. It's awesome.

Wait, you have to give reports on me? Well, every day. Am I on death watch now? Three reports a day. Sometimes two if I'm driving. No, you did tell me. Now I heard. Like you're talking to the vet about a cat. He doesn't think that's not going to sleep.

His breathing's heavy, but he's eating still. Don't touch water, but I'm doing a dropper in his mouth at night. Why? I said I was so happy I slept in that other room versus the nicest room that has a fucking sauna and a raised tub. I go, no, I'll just... I don't want

to fuck up that bed. That bed is comfortable and there's no windows in it. That's your fucking dream room. I slept till 10.06 a.m. Yeah, you were still sleeping. You haven't slept till 10 a.m. I heard Jaylee shut my door.

Yeah, I had to. Yeah, I know. Fucking 10 a.m. Yeah. It's good. Get back on the nighttime. This is awesome. This is so fucking great.

Everything is going so well. Fucking love it. As we're closing the podcast, nothing could possibly go wrong. I didn't say that. All we do is fix wrong. Every fucking gig we show up, we fix wrong.

That's our fucking brand. I'm not worried about wrong. We can do it. Alright, let's go. You guys are doing great. I fucking love you guys and you're doing fucking excellent shows and like right out of the gate it started clicking.

You gotta admit, this is crazy how fast it's clicking. Yeah. This is not normal. Well, I'm not going to say new normal, but I just said it. But yeah, I've never not done comedy for a year and a half. Last time we did this one was five years ago

and he was saying about how someone dug open and someone else did. It's all in No Encore for the Doggy on audible.com Eventually, Hannah can get it in hard copy. in No Encore for the Doggy on audible.com. Eventually, Henneken will get a fucking hard copy. For Christmas. Yeah.

I'm not saying for a year. Eventually, he's going to need them all. No, it's good. Will there be a printed copy soon? Yeah. It's on the way. All right. Listeners, take a day off

whatever day you listen to this say tomorrow I'm just gonna take it off I'm gonna fucking do crossword puzzles I'm gonna fucking organize my underpants drawer and just don't think about anything it's like meditation but it's different.

It's like just fucking off like a snow day. Like if you had school snow day, oh, you don't have, there's no homework. There's no nothing. Just enjoy your surroundings. Appreciate what you have and fuck them because you die at the end. Take us out of this bingo.

Okay, bye-bye now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.